


The Other Road

by painintheassbutt



Series: The Road Series [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom!Cas, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Happily Ever After, M/M, Mpreg, No Plot, Romance, Top!Cas, a little angsty, bottom!Dean, crazy ass timeline, good luck, if you can make it though this first chapter, just poorly written in general, poorly written smut, there is plenty of both eventually, this story is long af and I hope that I can get it cleaned up to post the whole thing, top!dean, yeah I don't have a preference for the top bottom thing..., yes i'm sorry there is mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:08:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 388,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4621326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/painintheassbutt/pseuds/painintheassbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know the road that Dean Winchester has traveled in the show Supernatural, but what would happen if he took the other road? The one that leads to hope and love and happily ever after? The one that he walks with Castiel?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first: I'm sorry. This story is long. It is also cracky and poorly written. I started this story right after watching "The Rapture" and I wrote approximately 250 thousand words before I finished the show. The timeline is wonky. I messed up the apocalypse. I wrote it just for myself and my bff so I really wasn't thinking plot or pacing or pretty much anything except "But they belong togetherrrrrr! SO let's get to it!". But, as the story progressed I pretty much fell in love with this happy little life I created for Dean and decided to share it with y'all. Yep, it is still rough and never been beta'd, but at least I removed all mentions of the word "manhood" from the porny parts. For that, you're welcome. :)  
> I hope you get a tiny bit of joy out of it. If you notice a weird word or an odd phrase or if Dean takes his pants off twice in one scene, let me know. I'll try to fix it as soon as I can. And I'll put up more if you think it's worth the work. Thanks! ~Pita-B

The Other Road

 

Dean let out a sharp hiss as he shifted his weight on the sofa, bringing a hand up to his ribs. He could feel the uneven landscape beneath his muscle from where the bone was no longer in its proper place, and he grunted in pain. He looked to the clock. It had only been a quarter of an hour since he finally dragged himself in from the car, managing not to leave a trail of blood or other bodily fluids on his way back to his motel room. Bobby had warned him that a solo hunt right now was a fool’s errand (a “damned fool’s” errand, specifically), but Dean couldn’t just stand around while his baby brother screamed out his madness to the iron walls of his cage.

Dean could feel the blood seeping from the wound into his leg into the denim of his jeans, and he moved with difficulty to push the stiff fabric from his legs. He cried out from the jolt of pain that shot through his body, and he sagged against the worn cushion at his back as he tried to regain his strength. It took several moments before he could move and he pressed a towel to his thigh to staunch the flow of blood. He looked to the clock again. He needed to get his wounds treated before he lost any more blood, before he no longer had the strength or the presence of mind to put his wounds right. Each moment that passed put him closer to shock, but the pain made those moments seem like an eternity.

Almost like being in Hell.

Dean winced, groaning as he shifted again. He gave a bitter laugh at how quickly the thought of Hell as an abstract, faraway idea came to him. As if he didn't know.

Pain radiated through his chest and Dean closed his eyes, gritting his teeth through the sensation. When he opened his eyes, he signed.

"What do you want?"

Castiel stood silent, looking down at him impassively. Dean smirked.

"I haven't seen you in days... What? No sanctimonious 'I told you so's?" he gave a tense laugh. "No 'I guess you can't take care of yourself without a Angel's help'?..." his smirk turned into a grimace as he shifted once more, the pain in his cracked ribs raising the hair on his neck. His Adam's apple rose and fell slowly with the difficulty of the motion to swallow. "Or did you just come to gloat and lord it over me how massively I cocked up?"

Castiel's expression did not appear to change, but there was a very subtle crease forming between his brows. He watched the young human on the sofa continue to shift uncomfortably. He could see the goosebumps raised on Dean’s tense skin and could smell the adrenaline still pumping through his veins, mingling with the acrid sent of sweat and blood. Every labored breath Dean took sounded like the rush of the ocean in Castiel's sensitive ears.

He shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Dean," he spoke in his deep, even monotone. "You may not have seen me, but I have been watching over you." Dean raised an incredulous eyebrow, but did not reply. "I didn't think you would come out of this as bad off as you did. I... I should have intervened."

"Not sure why," Dean huffed - partly in annoyance, partly in pure agony. "You don't take orders from me, right? You don't serve me."

The corner's of Castiel's mouth turned down perceptibly. Dean shifted.

"I'm sorry," Castiel spoke again, moving closer to the sofa. "I was humiliated and I was angry," he explained, betraying no emotion in his voice. But when Dean looked up at him, he could see torment in the Angel's eyes. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Please... Let me help you."

Dean stared blankly up at the Angel, his eyes following as Castiel lowered himself to one knee.

"I, um," Dean stammered as the older man reached out for him. "You don't have, I um..ugh" he winced in pain as Castiel slowly lifted the hem of Dean's T-shirt, sliding his hand up under the fabric to rest over the hunter's broken ribs. Dean hissed as his touch; Castiel's skin was unexpectedly cool, but after a split second of discomfort, the aching pain in his ribs began to fade. In awed fascination, Dean pulled up his shirt and watched as the scrapes and and uneven, broken flesh became whole under Castiel's smooth palm. "Whoa," he breathed. He looked up from his chest to the Angel's face. He was surprised by the look of intense concentration that he saw there. "...Cas?" he asked, hesitantly.

Castiel shook his head.

"I should never have left your side," he spoke, more to admonish himself than to respond to Dean's inquiry. "I should have never let my own shame cloud what was really important." Dean's eyes moved back from Castiel's face to where his hands raised to gently strip the flannel from his torso, and to cover each wound: his shoulder, his biceps, down his arms. Castiel's hands moved over Dean's palm, gently turning his hand over and sweeping his fingers over the bruised and bloody knuckles, leaving smooth, clear flesh in their wake. "I made the mistake of arrogance," Castiel continued, taking Dean's other hand in his and wiping the scarred skin clean. Dean submitted obediently, unnerved by Cas's unusual self-censure. "I let my own will come before the will of Heaven, and more importanly, before your safety,” his voice seemed to catch, and he continued quietly. “I am ashamed by how wrong I was."

"I'm alright," Dean laughed uncomfortably, swallowing with difficulty as Castiel's hands roamed over his neck and up into his hair. His eyes fluttered closed involuntarily from the sharp sting of Cas’s fingers connecting with the gash behind his ear, before it too melted into nothing but the sensation of fingertips raking his scalp. He licked his lips and opened his eyes. "It's not like I died." he smiled. "Not that you couldn't have fixed that too, I bet."

Castiel looked into his eyes, not a hint of levity in their blue depths.

"How can you laugh when I have failed you?" he asked, plainly. "How can you joke when I let something do this to you?"

"It's not your fault," Dean replied, his voice breaking uncomfortably as Castiel’s hands settled on his knees. "I think I can take it from here - whoa-ouch!"

Castiel shook his head at the gaping, open wound in Dean's thigh and moved his hands gently around the exposed flesh.

"These wounds are my doing," Castiel told him. "Every drop of your blood spilled was my negligence. No Dean," he said, laying hands on the smaller scrapes up his shins before gently placing his palms over the larger wound. "This is my responsibility to repair... it was my responsibility to prevent..."

Dean pressed his lips closed, watching Castiel's hands travel up his thigh. His brow furrowed and he shifted uncomfortably, his skin becoming warn under Castiel's unusually cool touch.

"Uh, Cas..." he spoke, clearing his throat as his mouth had gone dry.

"I'm so sorry, Dean." Castiel replied, seemingly unaware of the human's discomfort. "I know that words are little comfort after the fact. But please know this," His piercing blue eyes looked straight into Dean's, but the younger man could concentrate on nothing but the cool fingers resting close to the crease of his thigh. "I will not fail again."

Dean nodded, swallowing uneasily and taking Cas's hand in his in order to remove it from so near his groin.

"I believe you," he mumbled. "It's all good." he gave a weak smile. "Really. Thanks."

Castiel nodded forlornly, setting back on his heels as Dean clumsily pulled his jeans back over his legs, zipping them with some difficulty. He ignored the tightness in the denim as he looked over at the Angel kneeling before him. He paused, staring at the look of utter despair on Castiel's usually stoic face. Dean's expression softened.

"It's alright Cas," he assured him. "Really."

Castiel's gaze dropped to the floor, and without further warning, he disappeared. Dean sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair before pushing them down the front of his thighs to ease the tension in his pants. He tried to ignore the familiar tightness, solely due to the unfamiliar cause of it. He was just going to ignore it.

When Cas has first walked out of that abandoned factory all those days ago, Dean had been pissed, lumping the Angel in with all the other people who eventually let him down. But after anger faded, something hollow and needy settled quietly into its place and Dean wasn’t sure he could ignore it much longer. With Sam out of commission for the moment, Dean had found himself wishing that the Angel would return - not that he was ready to shout himself hoarse asking for his appearance - but it would have been a comfort to have someone to spend those moments with when he was worried over Sam’s fate, or uncertain about the path he was on, or when he just... needed to not be alone. He had been feeling for sometime that he wanted that person to be Cas. Not just because the Angel was a valuable ally, or a powerful weapon, but because he was beginning to think of him as a friend. As maybe... something more than just a friend.

What that something more was, however, Dean refused to name. Regardless of what it was, it was not the pending apocalypse that loomed before him. It was just one more thing to sacrifice, one more offering from the Winchesters to appease the universe for a couple weeks until the next big bad rose up to greet them. If he didn’t name it, if he didn’t address it, he couldn’t lose it, could he? He couldn’t open himself up to the vulnerability that came with things like optimism and hope and...

Dean scowled, pushing himself from the sofa and crossing to his bag to retrieve clean clothes. It was pointless to waste another second mulling these things over in his mind. For Dean Winchester, they were off limits. He wasn’t allowed to even contemplate going down that road, much less step foot on its path. His life was one of sacrifice. Saving people. Hunting things. Dean’s road.

And he was probably going to reach the end of it alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dean sat on the hood of the Impala, looking out across the rippling reflection the moon cast on the black surface of the lake he was parked beside. The beer bottle he held in his hands was still three quarters of the way full, the foam no longer bubbling at the surface. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck wearily. It had been months now, but he couldn’t seem to shake the surreal feeling of having stopped the apocalypse, and even more unbelievably, that their insane plan had worked. For a tense and painful moment in time, he had been afraid it was the end. Sam had said yes to Lucifer, and with no other way to save his little brother, Dean had said yes to Michael, and with all their might the two fought against the incredible strength of the Archangels trying to use their flesh to end the world. Cas and Bobby turned out to be no match for them either, but just enough of a distraction to give the Winchester brothers the strength then needed to take over and use the rings of the four horseman to open the cage. When Lucifer had destroyed Cas and killed Bobby right after, it was just they motivator he and Sam needed to break free for the seconds it took to bring the plan to completion.

Dean would have been grateful that the last thing he would see before being sucked into the pit was his little brother, but Cas had reappeared just in time to pull them both from the edge, the supernatural power of the vortex sucking the energy of the angels down into the depth below. Cas had healed Bobby, and touched them both on the forehead to heal the minor wounds they had sustained.

The gentle touch to his and Sam’s brow that sent a healing energy from head to toe was so very different than the way Cas would heal him when he didn’t have to heal anyone else as well. Just days ago, Dean had gotten banged up pretty badly in a vampire hunt, and once again Cas has gently touched his bruised ribs, trailed healing energy over his hands and up the back of his head. There was something soothing in it, something tender that Dean could no longer pretend was the same way Cas treated everyone else. And it came as no surprise when a little voice inside him decided he didn’t want Cas to treat anyone else that way. That this thing, this nameless thing with Cas, was for him alone.

When he closed his eyes, he could still feel cold fingertips brushing his scalp, running along his throat, trailing over his thigh...

Dean shook his head, pulling his hand away from his hair and rubbing his fingers over his tired eyes. He couldn't explain it, but since that night that Castiel came to him, fear and regret burning in his blue eyes, he knew something had changed for good. He wasn't sure if it was the concern that Cas had shown him, or the fact that he hadn't been laid since too many months back to recall, but when he thought of the dour and awkward Angel, it stirred feelings in him that he wasn't used to being caused by someone with a Y chromosome. And that was a whole lot of bad, on so many levels. Even if the thought of ... whatever... with Cas didn't, to be honest, scare him a little bit, the idea of corrupting someone so innocent left a bitter taste in his mouth. And he would never be able to protect him. Castiel would just be another person placed in danger by being close to Dean Winchester. He would just have to settle for this; for the easy friendship, for the shared looks that lasted a little too long, and for small, stolen touches that would lead to nothing more. That was safe. That was better. Better for everyone involved.

But it was still nice to image every now and then, even if it was hard to admit to himself.

He leaned his head back, taking a large swig from the bottle. When he righted himself, he choked, spitting out the stale beer in a spray of amber.

"Cas," he said, coughing, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Castiel blinked, raising a hand slowly and using the cuff of his coat to wipe the beer from his face.

"Hello Dean," Castiel replied. Dean shifted uncomfortably, sitting up a little straighter.

"What are you doing here? How... how did you know I was here?"

Castiel stood silent a moment, watching the young man before him.

"Sam is worried about you, Dean." he spoke. "He is under the impression that something weighs heavy on your mind. I knew you were here because... I always know where you are."

Dean smirked, shaking his head.

"Sammy told you I was worked up about something?" he asked, incredulously. Castiel shook his head.

"No," he answered, turning his eyes up to the sky. "He prayed on it. He may not have been aware that’s what he was doing, but he was. So I came to you." the meter of his voice never changed as he continued. "What's troubling you, Dean?"

Dean grimaced, looking back down to the bottle in his hands. He took a deep breath. He couldn't imagine actually telling Cas what was on his mind. That would be sure to go over well.

Castiel continued to watch the young man. He could sense the division in his mind. Moving closer, Castiel spoke again.

"Whatever is on your mind," he said. "If it is within my power to remedy, I will."

Dean grimaced, rolling his eyes and bringing a hand to his hair. He was quiet for several long moments, contemplating. Finally, he sighed.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked, but couldn't bring his eyes to the Angel's. Castiel nodded.

"Of course,"

Dean hesitated again before speaking.

"I've been thinking... I've made so many mistakes... done so many things wrong..." he shook his head. "... thought so many wrong things..." Castiel cocked his head slightly to the side, but didn't interrupt. Dean continued. "I mean, I'm not saying I've read the bible cover to cover, but I've read enough to know that I've done wrong... swearing and gambling and stealing... sleepin' around... sleeping with an Angel - I've heard that's a big no-no." he raised a finger. "That book is full of triple X buzzers that I've burned through. I think I've done it all except pull an ass out of a pit on the Sabbath and sleeping with... you know... dudes..."

He glanced up at the Angel, worried about the expression he would find. But Castiel's expression remained neutral.

"And this is what troubles you?" Castiel inquired. "That you think you have somehow offended God?" Dean shrugged, looking away again. He could hear Cas take a deep breath, and the Angel took a moment to respond.

"There are three common human misconceptions about the written word of my Father," he began, his voice deep and even. Dean couldn't help but turn to look at him as he spoke. "The first is that the Holy Word is a book written in a bygone time for a bygone time. But that is incorrect. It is a book written in a bygone time, yes, but it is a book for the ages. All ages." Dean's brows drew together, but he continued to listen. "The second misconception was that my Father's words required interpretation. But His word was direct and specific when it was spoken. And the third is that the Word is any different than instruction, encouragement, and warning given by a human parent to a human child."

"What does that mean?" Dead asked, forgetting his own troubles out of actual curiosity.

Castiel sighed, moving closer to the car. He indicated the hood next to Dean.

"May I?" Dean nodded. Castiel didn't set next to him, but leaned against the hood. "When my Father began creation, he knew man would go through stages, just like a parent raising a child. The Word contains instruction for every stage of man's existence." he looked to Dean, who was staring back at him, dumbfounded.

"What?"

Castiel pursed his lips a moment, as if considering how to explain.

"When a child is in it's infancy, the parent tells the child anything to keep them from all types of harm. As the child grows older, the parent gives more leeway and freedoms. It is the same for my Father. When man was in his infancy, he had to be discouraged from behaviors that may endanger him in that time - eating unsanitary foods, engaging in unsanitary acts - the world at that time just didn't have the resources to protect people. As the world grew, so did the direction." Castiel looked to the young human to see if it was finally sinking it. "You don't need to tell a teenager to keep to the sidewalk, you tell them to look both ways before crossing the street."

Dean shrugged, nodding.

"Makes sense..." He grimaced then. "What about my little... indiscretion with an Angel, huh?"

Castiel shook his head.

"That admonition was for the Angels, not for man." He explained. "Man was a new creation, naive and young."

Dean gave a snort of laughter.

"So, that was the big guy’s way of saying not to fall for jail bait?" he asked.

Castiel didn't smile.

"Essentially."

Dean's smiled faded and he shook his head. The two were quiet a moment. Dean was the next to speak.

"And that last thing?"

Castiel looked up at him.

"Man likes to use my Father's words to suit their needs, but my Father only ever gave eleven commandments. Eleven rules for man to follow."

"I thought he gave ten commandments?" Dean asked, confused. Castiel nodded.

"He did give ten. Ten laws to guide man in morality." he spoke, assuredly. "But the eleventh he gave when he sent Christ to earth in human form." Dean felt his gut contract as Castiel's blue eyes looked into his. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself. This was his final commandment to man. Just as your human father gave you guidelines to live your life, he would not refrain from loving you if you broke those rules. So as it with my Father. He will not cease to love you, Dean."

Dean frowned, but answered grimly.

"Doubtful,"

"Oh?" Castiel asked, but his tone made it seem more like a statement. "Could you imagine a failing that would make you rescind your love of Sam, even if you abhorred his actions?" Dean looked back to him, stunned. Castiel's expression was neutral. "You may not be his natural parent, but you have fathered that young man better than most natural parents have for their offspring."

Dean frowned, looking away, feeling heat on the backs of his eyes. It was true, there were plenty of things that Sammy did that got his dander up, but no matter how mad it made him, he still loved that boy with everything he had in him.

"Are you sure that is all that is bothering you, Dean?" Castiel asked, plainly. Dean grimaced, shifting under the Angel's unwavering gaze. Dean tried to look back at him without pulling his eyes away again. He stared into Castiel's deep blue eyes and a stray thought passed through his mind - would those lips be as cool as his fingertips?

Dean physically turned his body away from Castiel, looking back out over the water.

"I've just had a lot on my mind lately," he mumbled. With his back turned, he couldn't see the look of concern that passed over Castiel's face. Dean listened to the quiet around him, wondering if he turned if Cas would still be standing there. The calm, deep voice that spoke indicated otherwise.

"I'm here to protect you, Dean," Cas told him. "Whatever that entails."

Dean gave a short laugh, shaking his head.

"I think I've learned that no one can protect me. There isn't any 'protecting' anyone." before he could continue, Castiel amended himself.

"Comfort, then,"

Dean's mouth went dry and there was suddenly too little room in the rise of his jeans.

"Comfort," he repeated quietly, turning. Castiel was watching him.

"I can't pretend to know everything that is going on inside of you, Dean," Castiel told him seriously. "But I would please ask that you take into consideration that I do know a little bit more about human nature than I did when we first met. I know something is troubling you." he squinted a little. "You keep touching the back of your head... Is there something wrong?" he reached out toward the younger man, but Dean pulled away. Castiel froze, his hand in mid-air. His brow's knitted together. "Personal space?" he asked.

Dean sighed.

"It's not that,"

Castiel watched him quietly.

"You need to rest, Dean," he told him, gently. "You are troubled, and tired. This has been a long rode and I foresee it to be much longer still." he reached out again, but this time Dean didn't pull away. He closed his eyes and let the Angel's fingertips smooth over his brow and down the side of his cheek. Castiel's caress was calming and Dean felt his skin began to grow warm under the cool touch. Sensing that his actions were doing some good, Castiel brought his other hand up, using his thumbs to gently stroke the tension out of the young man's brow.

Dean swallowed, feeling both relaxed and aroused, conflicted and assured. It was obvious to him that he was attracted to the irritable Angel, but he didn't know what to do with this information now that he had it. He slid off the hood of the car, the action cutting the distance between them so considerably that the only thing separating them was one pair of boxers and two pairs of pants. Dean opened his eyes and looked down into Castiel's confused face.

"Should I move out of your personal space?" he asked, concerned. Dean watched him a moment before acting. He was so tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of running. Tired of trying to be strong. Comfort, real comfort in the arms of a friend, sounded just like the pill for what ailed him.

"No," he replied quietly. "No..." he leaned back against the car and dropped his head, resting his forehead against Castiel's chest. The Angel was still a moment, and Dean felt an uncomfortably uncertain eternity of time pass before before he felt Castiel move. A hand lay gently on the back of Dean's head and the other came to rest on the back of his neck. Dean squeezed his eyes closed, his fists closing on the back of Cas's trench coat.

"I know that this has been hard for you," Castiel spoke, "But I have faith in your abilities. And I will stay by your side."

"I just want some peace," Dean murmured, "Just a moment’s peace."

Castiel was quiet, slowly stroking the young man's neck as he considered how to respond.

"One day, peace will return to this land and evil will be sent to rest." he said. "I know it comes as little consolation now."

Dean lifted his head, staring down at the Angel.

"Cas," he began hesitantly, "I uh...I uh..." he licked his lips and shrugged his shoulders nervously, "I really appreciate everything you've done for me..." Castiel nodded along as he spoke. "You've been really friendly and helpful... I mean, it's been nice to have... you know... someone..."

Cas nodded again.

"You're aroused. You probably want to be alone." Dean's mouth dropped open. Cas continued. " I should go, correct? Personal space. I'm learning."

"Uh, no," Dean stammered, feeling a rare blush warming his face as he watched Cas drop his gaze to the obvious contradiction to his words. "I mean, yes," he continued. "But..." he sighed heavily, "Don't... go."

Castiel blinked once, looking up into Dean's eyes.

"I won't. Not if you don't want me to."

"I don't want to keep you here," Dean began awkwardly.

Castiel shook his head once.

"You are my reason to be here, Dean," the Angel assured him. "Our paths crossed for a reason. I will be by your side until the end of days."

"That could be any day now," Dean laughed nervously.

"True," Castiel agreed. "But there is still time left to be had. In whatever capacity you require."

Dean gave another nervous huff of laughter, the places where Castiel's hands rested on his arms seemed to burn.

"Am I really that important?" he asked. "You really like me that much?"

"You are very important." Castiel assured him. "I believe my Father still has plans for you."

Dean frowned, trying not to shift his hips in their close proximity to the other man's.

"Your father’s plans," he repeated numbly."I see," Castiel noted the hint of annoyance in the young man's tone.

"Of course," Castiel replied. "There is no other more important in my life than you."

Dean's eyebrows raised.

"Really?"

Castiel looked curiously at him.

"Why do you doubt your importance?" he asked, suspiciously. "You are a unique individual. There is only one Dean Winchester. I've counted every freckle on your face and every fleck of gold in your eyes. There is not another being in this world like you. Even if you weren't so important to my Father, you would be important to me."

Dean's expression softened and his gaze moved from Cas's eyes to the Angel's mouth. He stared in silence for a moment.

"Cas..." he spoke quietly, his eyes looking down and now unable to meet Castiel's. "I've... had you on my mind a lot lately... and, uh, ... I'd like to... um... gah, I never have this problem with chics," Castiel's brow furrowed and Dean sighed. "What the hell," He brought his hand up to Cas's face, but couldn't make a further move.

"Dean?" Castiel questioned. Dean grimaced.

"I'm... I'm gonna... kiss you... is that okay?" Castiel's brows raised slightly, but relaxed. He nodded his head. "Okay," Dean agreed, licking his lips nervously. Castiel was watching him, curiously. Dean leaned forward, his eyes never leaving Castiel's as he brought his lips down on the other's. For a moment, Cas starred back into his eyes, but within seconds his eyelids fluttered closed and Dean felt a surge of adrenaline pump through his veins. It actually felt nice. Not exactly like kissing a woman, but just as satisfying. Cas's lips were soft and cool to the touch, and tasted faintly of strawberry and hops. The act started a fire blazing in his belly like no other, and he wanted to taste more.

Just as he closed his own eyes, Castiel pulled back.

"I'm sorry," Dean stammered, uneasily.

"Why?" Castiel questioned him, "I did not pull away because I lack desire."

"No?" Dean asked. "Then... why?"

Castiel's brow furrowed again, as if the answer was obvious.

"Because I am not here to be comforted," he told the young man. "I am here to comfort." he brought a hand up and once again brushed his fingertips across Dean's brow. "I am learning." he said, his hand trailing down Dean's jaw. Dean closed his eyes, swallowing the large lump forming in his throat as he felt Castiel press his lips against the exposed skin of his throat. Dean would have tried to suppress the groan that escaped him had he known of it's existence, and a blush rose hot once again into his face. He let his head fall back, exposing more of his neck to Castiel's attentions and the Angel wasted little time branding each inch with his lips.

Dean brought his hands up to hold onto Castiel's biceps as he felt the Angel's hands push beneath his T-shirt and smooth over his torso. A small smile came to Dean's face as he felt the older man first explore the areas that had just nights ago held breaks and contusions, and once pleased with the lack of injury continued around to stroke the length of his spine. Dean actually felt his knees go weak from the sensation and he leaned back against the car. Castiel closed the distance between them, his body fitting neatly against every angle and plane of Dean's. Dean grunted from the friction, involuntarily pressing his hips forward to release some of the pressure building in his groin. A groan escaped him when he felt the Angel's heavy palm settle on his hip, keeping him from thrusting forward again. Castiel lay a gentle kiss on Dean's chin, and then on his mouth before he spoke.

"You are vulnerable," he said gruffly, "I will not use this moment to lead you unto something you would regret,"

"I won't regret a damn thing," Dean answered tightly, knowing that his face must be burning with the heat of seven suns. "And you aren't the one leading." He leaned forward and captured Castiel's mouth, feeling the other man's breath hitch in his throat from surprise. Dean's tongue sought the Angel's, drinking him in. Gone was the lingering taste of dried beer, but the hint of strawberry remained along with a certain something Dean could only describe to himself as uniquely Castiel. And he was finding himself drunk on it.

"Dean," Cas managed to speak, breaking away from the enthusiastic attentions of the younger man. "We can't do this here. It isn't right. Not here." Dean felt a slight sting of shame, and he nodded. Castiel continued. "We should return to the hotel."

Dean nodded.

"Sam will be worried, you're right."

Neither made any motions to leave. They just stood, hip to hip, hands on each others arms, looking into the other's face.

"I don't require sleep," Castiel advised him. "I can watch over you and your brother." Dean grimaced.

"If, uh... If I didn't share a room with Sammy..." he began, hesitantly. Castiel brow creased.

"Then I would watch over your brother." Cas explained. "For I know that he is most important to you. Unless you bid me otherwise."

Dean swallowed again, his lips aching to reunite with the Angel's. Once again, his hips pressed instinctively toward the body against him.

"I'd rather you not bunk with Sammy," he murmured. "Really."

Castiel stared at him a moment.

"Should I bunk with you?" he asked. Dean couldn't swallow this time. He nodded.

"Yeah... definitely, yeah..."

"I see," Cas replied.

Dean looked back at him, his gaze continuing to move from the Angel's eyes to his mouth, and back. Quite frankly, he wasn't sure he wanted to leave. Unfortunately, Castiel pulled away. With a sigh, Dean pulled his keys from his pocket and the two got in to the car. There was silence on the trip back to the motel and Dean had to keep glancing to the passenger seat to make sure his companion didn't Angel-out, but Castiel followed him all the way back to his room.

The room was dark when Dean opened the door, and he turned on the lights before calling out.

"Sammy? You in the john?"

Castiel took a look around the empty room.

"I don't sense his presence here." he reported, walking behind Dean as his crossed to the small dining table on the far side of the room. Dean picked up a note that was lying there.

Dean,  
I've left several messages on your phone, but I wanted to let you know that my laptop shot craps tonight. It was driving me insane and the closest Apple store is a little more than an hour away. Hopefully, they can get it up and running again. I'll try to be back soon. I hope you had dinner.  
Sam

Dean pulled his phone from the pocket of his leather jacket. He had forgotten to take the ringer off silent from the last late-night prowling gig they had. There were three new messages from Sammy, the most recent of which was from only ten minutes ago. He brought up the voicemail and put the phone to his ear.

"Hey Dean, it's Sam. I don't know if you are back at the motel and got my message, but my computer is down and we need it bad to keep up on cases. It took the Apple geniuses two and a half hours to bring it back to life and I got some pretty funny looks about some of my internet history..." Sam gave a short embarrassed laugh before continuing. "Don't ever use my laptop again, by the way." Dean looked over to Castiel and gave an uneasy grin, for some reason feeling ashamed. "Anyway, I'm too tired to drive back to the motel, so I'm staying with Bobby tonight since his place was only ten minutes on. Make sure you have a decent dinner and uh... I hope you sleep well... bye."

Dean eyes followed the Angel who was wondering slowly around the room, picking up the cable preview card and reading the information. Dean return dialed his little brother.

"Dean, you okay?" Sam answered without saying hello.

"Yeah, Sammy, yeah," Dean replied. "Sorry I didn't pick up, my ringer was off."

"No problem. Did you get my messages?" Sam asked. Dean nodded even though his brother couldn't see him. Castiel was now reading the info placard for the magic fingers. "So, uh, you staying at Bobby's all night?"

"I hope that's okay." Sam answered. "I just didn't have the energy after the computer ordeal."

"Huh," Dean's eyes met Cas's as the Angel turned back to him. "Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning then."

"Yeah. Be sure to get some sleep, Dean,"

"I'll do my best. Night, Sammy."

After his brother returned the sentiment, Dean shut the phone and lay it on the table. Castiel raised an eyebrow.

"Your brother is sleeping elsewhere tonight?" he asked. Dean nodded, unable to speak. Castiel nodded, as if weighing the information in his mind. Dean cleared his throat.

"You uh, want something to drink?"

Castiel watched the young man open the fridge and remove two bottles from inside. Dean offered him one without waiting for an answer. When Cas took it from his hand, Dean opened his own bottle and downed half the contents in one long drink.

Castiel looked down at the bottle.

"You appear uncomfortable," he observed.

Dean look at him a moment before taking a deep breath.

"No," he replied, setting the bottle down and shrugging off his jacket, letting his button down shirt come off with it. "Just... nervous."

"Do I make you nervous?" Castiel asked pointedly. Dean shook his head.

"No." he answered, pressing his lips together as if questioning his next words. "I always get a little nervous when I'm afraid I'll get shot down."

Castiel's eyes narrowed slightly as his brain worked out the translation to "shot down". Dean could almost see the moment he figured it out, for his lips parted as if to speak, and a small crease appeared between his eyebrows.

"I won't reject you, Dean," he informed him. Dean felt heat rise up the back of his neck and he was suddenly acutely aware of how shallow his breathing had become. Castiel moved toward him, the narrow-eyed look of concern and question still on his face. "If you wish me to stay here, I will."

Dean cleared his throat, trying to sound casual as he asked.

"And... and what do you want?"

Castiel responded as though the answer were obvious.

"I want to be here with you," a ghost of a smile warmed his features. "I turned my back on the kingdom of Angels. Iniquity is one of the benefits."

Dean grinned, crossing the room in two steps and, placing his hand on the back of Castiel's head and pulled him in for a kiss. It was hungry and desperate at first, but steadily calmed into a sensual, mutual exploration. Dean dropped his hand from the back of the Angel's head, bringing both of his hands to Cas's shoulders and pushing the trench coat down his arms.

Castiel pulled back, assisting Dean with removing the coat so the young man turned to undoing his tie.

"Dean,"

Dean paused, taking a breath and looking up into the Angel's face. Castiel's expression had resumed its mildly concerned look.

"Yeah?"

Cas frowned, looking down at Dean's hand's, which were now holding on to the Angel's wrists.

"You know that I don't have any experience in the ways of the flesh..."

Dean gave an embarrassed smile, shrugging slightly.

"Well, when it comes to this variety, I think we're on an equal playing field..." he admitted with a laugh. "I have to say though, you're at the head of the learning curve so far... and I honestly have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. So no pressure, okay?"

Castiel nodded, and Dean was surprised to see a slight tinge of color in his face.

"Okay," the Angel agreed.

Dean nodded, letting go of Cas's hands and walking to the door. Castiel watched him curiously as Dean opened the door, turning the sign on the handle to the "do not disturb' side before shutting it and securing both locks. He drug his fingers over the light switch, shutting off the overhead light and leaving the room bathed in nothing but the golden glow of the bedside lamp. He turned back to Cas, who stood in the middle of the room, rumpled dress shirt unbuttoned to his breastbone and hair askew. Dean felt his heartbeat quicken and ran a hand through his hair, walking over to the bed and taking the top pillow from the stack and tossing it to the other side of the bed. He kicked his shoes to the side, turning back to the Angel. He didn't know exactly what was in store for the two of them this evening, but something inside him told him he was game.

The two stared at each other a moment in silence. Castiel was the first to look away, turning his eyes to the bed. Dean could see the wheels turning and he unconsciously held his breath as he waited for the next move. Castiel turned back to him and walked over to his side.

"You sure you're okay with this?" Dean asked quietly.

"Dean," Castiel began, looking up into his eyes. "I won't say no. I want to comfort you. With my words, with my touch, with my body if you desire. And I... I want to take comfort with you."

Dean's smile was tight with emotion. He never considered that Cas was in need of someone to be there for him as well. He brought his hands up to cup the Angel's face, kissing him gently on the mouth. Castiel responded in kind, kissing him back as he slipped his hands under the younger man's shirt. Dean moaned at the sensation of Castiel's cool hands on his bare skin. He wasn't sure what made the man so cool to the touch, but the idea of being pressed up against him on a hot summer's night caused a pulse of pleasure down through his abdomen. Dean moaned again, slipping his arms around Cas and sliding his hands up the smooth expanse of his back. When his fingers drew up the back of Cas's neck, the Angel shuddered, his lips stilling against Dean's.

'Bingo' Dean thought, turning his attention to Castiel's throat. The first moan out of Cas's mouth made the pressure in Dean's pants double. Dean broke away, pulling his own shirt off and tossing it to the floor before turning back to the Angel. Castiel's expression was awed, his eyes dark with desire. Dean felt the warm pulsing sensation in his abdomen again. Castiel was the one who re-initiated contact, mimicking Dean's earlier actions of cupping his face to kiss him. Dean smiled against the kiss, his hands traveling down Castiel's abs and undoing the rest of the buttons of Cas’s shirt.

Flushing with both embarrassment and arousal, Dean stepped away from the Angel and moved to settled on the side of the bed. Castiel turned to look down on the young man, his head tilting with curiosity as he took in Dean's state of near undress. His attention was diverted when Dean hooked his fingers into the waistband of his pants and pulling him to the side of the bed. Castiel watched him curiously as Dean’s eyes roamed over his bare torso. The Angel's eyes slid closed and he turned his face to the ceiling, feeling Dean's hands slide down the sides of his thighs, as if mapping the muscle beneath the navy suit pants.

"Cas," Dean spoke, pulling the Angel's gaze back to him. "This fine?"

Castiel nodded, unconsciously bringing his fingertips to Dean's cheek.

"Yes,"

The Angel leaned down and Dean accepted his kiss, slowly laying back until Castiel was forced to kneel on the bed over him. Dean brought his hands to Castiel's sides, marveling for a moment at how a body with so much muscle and so little curve could make him so hard. When he brought his eyes back to Cas's face, and looked into those soulful blue eyes, it made so much more sense. Dean's mind raced; he wanted so many things - traditional things - that he didn't how to begin.

"Dean?"

The young man snapped out of his internal revere and focused on the Angel.

"Yeah?" he asked, shifting under Castiel's weight. Castiel's expression was one of concern.

"What would you like me to do?"

Dean smiled softly. As aroused as he was, as absolutely turned on, he couldn't trade his desire for Cas's innocence. He touched the Angel's face.

"Just kiss me," he said simply, his voice husky with want. "Just kiss me."

Castiel nodded.

"Okay,"

Dean gratefully accepted Castiel's lips, pulling the cool body against him, pressing his fingertips into the hard muscle of Cas's back. He delighted in the movements that made the Angel gasp, and attacked the places that made him moan. Bringing Castiel pleasure only seemed to heighten his, but he tried not to dwell too much on on how erotic is was to feel the stubble on Cas's jaw as he kissed along his shoulder and up the side of his throat.

"Dean," The Angel spoke in a hushed voice, as Dean continued lick and suck on the taught skin of his throat. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mm-hm," Dean murmured, rolling Castiel over and straddling his hips. Cas gave a shuddering breath as he remembered his thought.

"Is... Is this sex, that we're doing?"

Dean stilled, pushing himself up onto his hands to look down into the Angel's face.

"Wh... what?"

Castiel's face was flushed and his eyes heavy lidded. Dean stared at him in wonder. He could see the blush rise to the Angel's cheeks.

"Is this..." he began hesitantly. "... it's nice."

Dean gave a huff of laughter, a smile breaking across his face. He leaned back down, kissing Castiel deeply.

"No," he answered, pushing the hair back off of the Angel's forehead. "That, uh... that's much better."

"Are we going to do that?" Castiel asked, watching Dean move to his side, pulling a pillow under his head and staring back at him. Dean gave a wry smile.

"I'd like to think so. Someday."

Castiel nodded, turning his face back to the ceiling.

"Oh."

Dean's smile faded into a frown.

"I hope you're not disappointed..." he said, quietly. The Angel shook his head.

"I am not disappointed..." he assured the younger man. "Because I've made you smile." Dean looked away, slightly embarrassed and ashamed. "And I haven't seen you smile in months. I feel like I've accomplished something good."

Dean nodded, blinking back the heat in his eyes.

"You did more than good." he leaned over, giving Castiel one final, lingering kiss on the mouth. Castiel turned to him, pushing himself up onto his elbow and looking down into Dean's face. He stared at him a moment, the curious, concerned look returning.

"May I do one more thing for you?" he asked, in his deep, gruff voice. Dean frowned, but didn't consider long before nodding. Castiel moved closer, a look of intense concentration on his face. Dean's brow furrowed and he closed his eyes as Castiel leaned forward and kissed him gently on the forehead. A sense of warm contentment slid over him, and his eyes fluttered closed. He could hear Castiel's voice speaking calmly and softly to him before his vision turned black. "You need rest, Dean... sleep well."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sam parked the junker he borrowed from Bobby in front of the motel, pulling the keys from the ignition and grabbing his computer from the floor of the passenger's seat. He had tried to get back to the Motel as early as possible so that he could continue his research. He was still cursing the ineptitude of the Apple "genius" bar as he selected his key to the motel room. He paused a moment, contemplating the "do not disturb" sign on the door. With a shrug, he slid his key in the lock and pushed the door. The heavy wood opened half an inch before catching the chain and bouncing back at him.

"What the hell?" Sam breathed, staring at the door in disbelief. Just as he was about to knock and call out his brother's name, he heard the metal chain slide in the track and the door opened. Sam was still confused. "Uh hi... Castiel..."

"Good morning Sam," the Angel replied, moving aside and letting the younger Winchester through. "Please keep your voice down."

Sam's brow furrowed as he looked at the trench coat-clad Angel before turning his eyes to the bed. His eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Dean is still asleep?" he whispered in shock. "When did he go to bed?" he looked to his watch. It was ten past ten. "Seven a.m.?"

Castiel looked retrospective.

"It was a quarter till midnight." he replied, following the younger man to the table. Sam was still staring at his brother as though he wasn't sure what to make of him.

"Was... was he drunk?" he asked, turning his stunned face to Cas. The Angel looked over to Dean's unconscious form beneath the sheet.

"No," he answered simply. "He was tired."

"Oh,"

Both men fell silent as the object of their conversation began to stir. Dean stretched his long limbs across the bed and groaned with deep felt satisfaction, his eyes blinking open before staring wide at the two across from him.

"Sleep well?" Sam asked. Dean stared at him a moment, unanswering, before turning his eyes to Cas. Castiel stared evenly back.

"Um... yeah," Dean replied, licking his dry lips and forcing himself to swallow. "Yeah... you?"

Sam gave a small smile.

"As well as you can on Bobby's couch," he laughed. Dean gave a halfhearted smile and waited until Sam looked down into his messenger bag before he peered beneath the sheets. He was still wearing only his blue jeans. He looked to Cas who turned to his brother.

"I should be going. Let me know if you have any need of me."

"Thanks Cas," Sam spoke, opening his computer and setting down at the table.

"Yeah," Dean repeated. " Thanks, Cas,"

There was a rushing sound and the curtains billowed slightly in the breeze caused by Castiel's departure. Dean stared at the empty space where the Angel last stood. He felt a small pang of guilt.

"I'll be right back Sammy," he announced, throwing the covers back and jumping to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked. Dean paused, grabbing the ice bucket before heading for the door.

"Ice," he replied, slipping out of the room and onto the warm pavement outside. He padded gingerly in his bare feet along the front of the motel and around the corner to where the ice and vending machines were located in a small, dead-end alcove. He paused, looking around himself to make sure he was not being watched. "Cas," he whispered to the air. "... Cas?"

When he turned back toward the way he had come, he stopped short. Castiel stood nearly on his toes. The Angel took a wide step back.

"You called?"

Dean gave a sharp exhale. He wondered if he'd even get used to Castiel's sudden appearances. He took a deep breath.

"Uh, yeah." he replied, suddenly self-conscious with his bare chest and unprepared demeanor. Castiel watched him, patiently. Dean sighed. "Look, I just wanted to say... thank you, for last night. I mean, you know, everything."

Castiel nodded.

Dean mirrored the action unconsciously. His eyes trailed to where the Castiel's hair curled slightly at his temples.

"Thanks for taking care of me," Dean mumbled, wishing he were wearing his protective layers of flannel. Castiel nodded again.

"It was my pleasure."

Dean smiled, looking down at the pavement before looking back up. Castiel was gone.

Dean's smiled turned into a grimace, and he turned back to the main walk and into the motel room. Setting the bucket down on the TV stand, he crossed to his duffle bag and began to hunt for something to wear. He didn't notice Sam staring at him.

"Dean?"

The older man looked up at his brother, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

Sam gave him an incredulous smirk.

"The ice?"

Dean flushed, looking back to the empty bucket by the door.

"Oh, uh... out of service." He didn't like the way Sam was smiling at him. "What?"

Sam leaned back in his chair, smirking widely. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"You had a women in here last night, didn't you?" he asked, laughing at the way his brother blanched.

"What!?"

"You did," Sam laughed, standing and moving toward the shorter man. "You dog. That has to be some sort of record for you. We haven't been in town a full twenty four hours yet."

"You're cracked," Dean scoffed, pulling away as Sam poked him in the side of his neck. "Stop it!"

Sam chuckled, amusedly.

"She must have been an animal," he teased, reaching out for Dean again, but his brother twisted away. "Look at your neck!"

"What?" Dean asked, moving to the closest mirror and examining his skin in the glass. There were a few pale marks and a slight irritation on the side of his throat. "Son of a bitch," he murmured, suddenly finding Castiel's five o'clock shadow a whole lot less sexy. "This is nothing," he replied, turning to Sam, but keeping that side of his neck away from his brother. "That's from the pillowcase, I had it crammed under my head. Get your mind out of the gutter!"

Sam continued to laugh as his brother grumpily grabbed his things and headed into the bathroom. Dean was so odd when it came to women - normally, he wouldn't stop crowing about it and all the horny details, and now he was playing bashful. His laughter died down and he looked over at the bathroom door. Could this change in his brother mean... that he found someone who wasn't just a one-night stand?

Sam sighed, his smile faded completely and he thought about what it would mean if Dean could find love and live a normal life. If they could both just live a normal life... but, with Angels and demons, the idea of love was the most improbable thing he could think of.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Dean?" Sam spoke his brother's name, watching the older man as he stared, glassy-eyed, out the window of the motel room, his half full glass of whiskey poised half to his lips. He spoke louder. "Dean?"

"What?" Dean replied, coming out of his thoughts and taking a drink. Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You alright? You've been really... distracted lately."

Dean shrugged, ignoring the question to concentrate on his drink. Sam felt a cold wave of sympathy for his brother. He wasn't sure what could be on Dean’s mind to the point where he would be pensive and brooding. This wasn't angry Dean, or mad Dean, or sick Dean... this seemed to be sad Dean, and he didn't know how to handle it. Ever since the end of the apocalypse, which Sam expected to put Dean in the best of moods, his brother only seemed like he had some bigger problem on his mind. Even Cas’s visits, while seeming to improve Dean’s mood a bit while he was there, didn’t seem to really help in the long term. He was beginning to worry that Dean was actually depressed. Maybe going back to the usual hunting cases after something as big as the apocalypse was hard for him? Sam would never admit this to his brother, but he harbored a secret desire that Dean would eventually find a way to lead a normal life, but maybe he was right when he said that this was the life he had to lead.

Hunting or no, Sam was going to do his best to lift his brother’s spirits.

"Hey," Sam tried to engage his brother again, "You know what?" Dean looked mildly interested. Sam smiled, encouragingly. "We should go out. You know, try the local bars or something. What do you think?"

Dean shrugged.

"Nah, I'm good." he replied, draining the rest of his glass. "I just want to hang out here. You should go though, if you want."

"I don't want to go without you!" Sam exclaimed. "I want us to go out together. We're in between cases, don't have any leads for a new one... Come on?"

Dean shrugged again, shaking his head.

"I dunno Sammy...." he began, sighing deeply. "I'm real tired. I want you to go out and have a good time though. Maybe... I dunno, find a girl or something." he grinned. "You should do that. Find a fun girl. Unwind. Live a little."

"I could say the same to you," Sam told him. Dean was speechless for almost a full five seconds before he gave a wry smirk.

"Well, we can't both go out to bird-dog babes. We’re pretty close, Sammy, but I don't want to get it on with you on the same block, let alone in the same room." he said, indicating the small, double occupancy room. Sam smirked.

"Didn't stop you on your "highway to hell" tour," he replied, dryly.

Dean gave a light chuckled. He considered the statement a moment, his grin turning into a grimace. He poured himself another drink.

"Hey Sammy," he began, contemplatively. "I know we don't have, you know, the lifestyle for all that... settling down crap and whatnot," Sam's eyebrows rose out of curiosity and concern.

"You don't know that," he tried to begin, but Dean cut him off with the wave of his hand.

"I know it," he replied, irritated. "What I'm saying is, it's not like we're going to live our lives like monks just because we can't live happily ever after, okay?" he gave a jerk of his head, as if confirming as own statement. "Odds are we're going to get the opportunity to sow our wild oats, and neither of us wants to witness that,"

"What are you saying?" Sam asked, frowning. Dean held out his hands.

"Maybe it's time we nixed the bunk beds," he suggested. Sam frowned.

"You mean... get sperate rooms?" he asked. "Dean, don't you think it's bad enough that we put a single room on a faked credit card? Now you want to increase that debt because one of us might get our freak on and we wouldn't want the other the know about it?"

Dean shook his head, swallowing his mouthful of whiskey.

"I don't care if you do it, I just don't want to see it."

Sam laughed uncomfortably.

"Well, I dunno, I don't really..." he stopped short, watching his brother pour another tumbler of scotch. "...We could try it... I guess.."

 

~~~~~

Dean lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to music and trying to drown out the sound that was suspiciously akin to the headboard in the next room thudding against the wall. He would have never guessed that when he and Sammy decided to take up separate rooms, it would be Sam getting the action. He groaned, rolling onto his side and pulling a pillow over his head.

"Ugh, somebody save me," he grumbled, pressing the pillow a little harder into his ear. He lay curled up on his side, but when something touched his arm he rolled sharply away onto his other side. His heart quickly began beating again and he let out a breath. "Damnit, Cas," he said, settling back on the bed.

"Sorry Dean," The Angel spoke, standing motionless at the side of the bed. "I thought... " he glanced away. "I heard... you call for..." he turned and looked at the wall, his brow furrowing. "Help,"

Dean rolled his eyes, moving to the edge of the bed and placing his feet on the floor. He began pulling on his boots.

"Well, you were right," he said, with false cheer. "And you're right on time. You want to get a drink with me?"

The Angel was still starring at the wall. Muffled voices now mingled with the rhythmic thudding that seemed to increase in pace.

"Shouldn't we save Sam first?” Castiel asked. Dean grabbed him by the sleeve of his coat, before snatching up his keys and heading for the door.

"Believe me, Sam doesn't need saving."

Dean and Castiel shared an almost bottomless pint of beer at a small, out of the way pub. The conversation was scarce, and when they did talk, it was benign and boring - first personal pleasantries, the obligatory inquiry of work, and requests to elaborate on any weekend plans. It was almost as if they didn't know each other. Somewhere close to one, they were encouraged to leave before the last stool was turned over on the bar, and the two made it to the car with just enough common sense to not drive more than a half mile down the road. Dean pulled off the two lane road and parked the Impala under a grove of thick threes that hid them from the light of the moon and any passersby. He turned off the ignition and gave a heavy sigh.

Castiel watched him silently as the young man rubbed his forehead. His eyes followed Dean's hand as he turned the key backward in the ignition and then to the stereo. A rock song began playing through the speakers and Dean nodded his head in time with the beat, turning the music down until it was softly playing in the background. He stared out of the windshield into the dark forest, before speaking.

"I lost my virginity to this song,"

Castiel's brow furrowed and he watched Dean's profile.

"... how?" he asked. Dean turned to him, a smirk on his face.

"One sultry summer when I was sixteen, in the back of a '72 Chevelle that I 'borrowed' for the night."

The corner of Castiel's mouth twitched.

"You mean stole."

Dean laughed.

"... yeah..."

There was silence between them as the song faded and another began. Castiel spoke again.

"Who was the girl?"

Dean looked uncomfortably to the Angel before turning back out the window.

"Melinda D’Monico. She was tall, blonde, and seventeen." he sighed. "Mm..."

Castiel nodded, looking down at his hands folded in his lap. It was Dean's turn to watch him.

"I should go," Castiel spoke, surprising his companion with the suddenness of his words.

"What?" Dean asked, putting out a hand and touching Cas's shoulder in a silent request to stay put. "Why?"

Castiel took a deep breath. He didn't want to sound petulant, or jealous, but he wasn't sure how else he could answer.

"I... as much as I appreciate your effort, Dean," he began, unable to look at the young man. "... but regardless of whatever happens... my vessel is male... and I can't change that..." Dean looked stricken a moment, unable to respond. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I only ever wanted to... make you happy... but I can't. And I understand. It's okay."

"What?" Dean scoffed. The indignant tone of his voice made Cas look up. Dean didn't just look indignant, he looked angry. Castiel pulled slightly away. "You think I make it a hobby to hit on and get half naked with my closest friend just for fun? Do you think that I'm scammin' you for my own freakin' entertainment? Hm??" he demanded. "You think that I ain’t had a constant boner since you came to my room and felt me up in places I didn't even know I liked people touchin'?" He glared at the stunned Angel a moment before practically shouting. "Get outta the car!"

Dean pushed open the door to the Impala, and Castiel followed. He watched the other man slam the front door. For a moment, he was afraid Dean would start yelling again. He was surprised when the older Winchester shouted.

"Get in the car!"

Castiel blinked.

"You... you just told me to get out of the car-"

Dean pointed at him, his jaw clenched and his brows pinched.

"Get. In. The. Car."

This was probably the first time in Castiel's long existence that he was unsure of what was going on. He watched Dean closely for cues. The other man continued to glare at him a moment before moving to the back of the Impala and opening the door. Comprehension dawned on the Angel like the sun breaking the horizon. Hesitantly, he opened the back passenger door and slid in beside Dean. The door hadn't yet locked closed when Dean was on him, kissing him hard.

"You listen here," Dean hissed. "Don't you think for one moment that I give a rat’s ass about your vessel. You think I'm so shallow that I couldn't want you because of who you are inside? That I can't look past your junk and see the person inside who has protected me, and fought for me, and pulled me from the very depths of hell?"

"I'm sorry, Dean," Castiel said quietly, feeling the odd sting of hot tears at the back of his eyes.

"I don't care about that," Dean continued, his hands on the side's of Castiel's jaw and throat, forcing the Angel to keep his gaze. "I care about making you do something that you'll be ashamed of tomorrow. Lying with a human. Dirtying your kind with my base ways."

"How could you say that?" Castiel asked him, hurt. Dean grimaced.

"Your brothers mock you, Cas." he explained, gently bringing his thumb up to wipe a tear from under Castiel's eye. "And believe me, I know how cruel big brothers can be." he shook his head. "But this... this," he leaned forward, his lips catching the Angel's in a tender, chaste kiss. "This isn't like anything I've had before. Anything I've felt."

Castiel swallowed, his expression pensive.

"You're not just saying that?" he asked, quietly. "To spare my feelings... because you pity me?"

Dean smiled, slipping his leg over Catiel's lap and straddling his thighs.

"I pity the hundred score of Angels who missed their chance to get this in the clouds." He kissed Cas again, harder this time, sliding his tongue along the Angel's and leaving him breathless when he pulled away. "Their loss, my gain." he grinned. "Man two, Angel's zip,"

"Two?" Castiel repeated, frowning. "Oh, the kingdom of earth and... and me?"

Dean's eyebrows shrugged in silent agreement, before he descended on Castiel's mouth once again and pushing his trench coat off of his shoulders. Castiel shifted in the confining space, trying to pull his arms out of the sleeves of the coat, the movement caused Dean to hit his head on the roof of the car. He grunted and moved, accidentally prodding his knee into Cas's ribs. The angel let out a grunt of pain, throwing his hands out to steady Dean who had pushed himself back too far and was now uncomfortably perched on the Angel's knees.

"Dean," Castiel interrupted, "This is very uncomfortable."

Dean looked annoyed.

"I'm usually the one sitting," he grumbled. Castiel nodded, and Dean looked down into his face. What was it about this man that affected him the way it did? With a frown of sharp displeasure, he supposed that he had to give Jimmy some credit...

"Dean?"

Dean sighed.

"You wanna go back to my place?" he asked. Castiel took a deep breath.

"If you're sure you should...." he answered, honestly. "You have had a lot to drink tonight."

"Oh, son," Dean smiled, shaking his head. "That wasn't even an appetizer."

Quietly, so as not to rouse any neighbors, Dean parked the Impala across the lot and he and Cas walked to the room that he rented next to Sam's. Dean locked the door securely after hanging out the do not disturb sign. He left the over head lights off, but turned on a small lamp by the tv. Castiel stood nervously by the door.

"Take your coat off," Dean advised, kicking off his shoes and crossing to the bar. "I'll pour us a drink."

As he poured the amber liquid into two glasses, Dean watched Castiel remove the heavy coat and hang it by the door before kneeling down and untying his boots. It was just like the last time, except this... this time he wouldn't disappoint. Cas was a damn Angel after all... he deserved to be worshipped.

Dean brought the glasses to the couch and Castiel settled at his side. They drank the first few centimeters in silence, before Dean sat his glass aside and turned in his seat, pulling a knee up on the couch. Castiel seemed nervous, watching Dean with uncertain eyes. Dean licked his lips, feeling his own apprehensions rise, but he scooted closer to the Angel, draping his arm across the back of the sofa and running a hand over the back of Cas's hair.

Castiel swallowed, his breathing starting to speed up as Dean leaned toward him. When the younger man was just inches away, Castiel let his eyes slip closed and leaned forward to meet Dean's lips with his own. The kiss was slow, as if Dean was trying to bring their heated exchange of emotions back to someplace more comfortably calm. He brought his hand up to Castiel's face, pulling him in closer. The Angel responded in kind, slipping his arm around Dean's side and closing the distance between their bodies. His mind swam with the delight of Dean's touch. This... this was what heaven should be like.

Dean trailed his mouth away from Castiel's, kissing just under the curve of his bottom lip before moving on to his chin, his jaw, and down his throat. Castiel let out a unsteady breath, unable to respond to anything but the pleasure thrumming though his body by Dean's touch. He had heard tale of what caused human arousal, but he would have never in a million millennia imagined that one human male's warm lips brushing the side of his throat could ignite such desire.

"Dean..." Castiel spoke softly, unable to vocalize what he was feeling with anything other than the name. Yes, this was Dean... all of this... pleasure, affection... its true name. "Dean..."

"I gotcha," Dean murmured, his hand working each button of Castiel's shirt as he continued to taste each inch of flesh from the Angel's shoulder to his ear. He could tell by the way his companion was breathing and by the way the hair on his neck stood on end, that the action was appreciated. "Trust me,"

"I trust you," Castiel whispered, following the younger man's gentle direction to lean back. After each of the buttons on the dress shirt were undone, Dean slid his hand down the taut expanse of Castiel's abdomen. It was hard to tell that under that shapeless trench coat that the Angel was as lean and muscular as he was, and Dean fingertips committed to memory every defined cut, every sharp plane. His lips traveled the curve of Cas's collarbone, and he felt an affectionate touch on his hair. Dean smiled, pressing his forehead against Castiel's shoulder and he looked down to undo the button on his pants and slide the zipper down its track. The Angel moaned appreciatively, but his breath hitched in his throat and his muscled contracted when Dean's hand slid over his growing erection.

"Dean," the word came out of Castiel's mouth as a question, and the younger man leaned up to kiss it away.

"I said I gotcha," Dean assured him, watching the myriad of emotions that passed over Cas's face; it started with a bit of fear, uncertainty, caution, before slipping almost seamlessly into profound desire. Dean watched the Angel closely, wanting to catch each moment as Cas experienced it. Slowly, Dean began stroking Castiel's shaft, acclimating himself with an action that was so familiar, yet so foreign. Castiel shifted uncomfortably, one hand gripping the fabric of Dean's shirt at his shoulder, and the other gripping the edge of the sofa cushion.

"Dean, I," he gasped, his hips twisting uncomfortably against the sensation. "I'm not sure this is... working,"

"Oh," Dean answered with a smile, pushing the fabric of Castiel's trousers further out of the way. "I think it's working just fine."

Castiel swallowed, grimacing and he watched helplessly as Dean licked his palm before bringing its slick surface down across the taut flesh of his shaft. Castiel's hand tightened on Deans shoulder, and he hissed in frustration. Dean gave a small chuckle, turning his face in to Cas's neck as he continued to pump his fist in a rhythmic motion.

"Don't work against me, Cas," he implored, kissing the Angel's throat. Castiel grunted, letting out a steady breath as he tried to relax into the sensation of each stroke. There was a pressure building beneath his shaft and the feeling of electric pulses in his belly. He wasn't sure if he liked it.

And then Dean increased his pace.

Castiel's head fell back against the sofa, and his hips rose to meet each downward thrust of Dean's hand. This felt wonton, uncontrollable, desperate. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt heat rising in his face. It was almost sensory overload with the movement of Dean's fist and the hot suction on his throat.

"You're almost there, buddy," he heard Dean murmur in encouragement. "Almost..."

Castiel's vision went white, his stomach clenched tightly and he called out his pleasure to the ceiling. He kept his eyes screwed shut, waiting for the spasms to subside. He could feel Dean's hand slowing as his body relaxed into the sofa. It was when he noticed that each breath was slow and deep, and he blinked his eyes open. Dean had pulled off his T-shirt and was wiping a pearly fluid off of his hand and the Angel's stomach. Castiel stared at him.

"Thank you," he said hoarsely, shaking his head. "I've never... that was... thank you."

Dean smirked, putting a leg over Castiel's lap and settling on his thighs.

"You're welcome." he replied smirking, although his face was flushed slightly pink. "You can return the favor sometime."

"Oh, of course!" Cas answered, sitting up straighter and almost unseating Dean.

"Whoa, hey!" Dean hissed, trying to keep his voice down. "Cool your jets.... we got time." he licked his lips, his eyes scanning Castiel's appearance, from the damp curls at his hairline to the pink marks blooming on his throat. "Damnit," he mumbled, rubbing his thumb across one of the large bruises. "That's gonna be obvious... damn..." he leaned down, pressing his lips to the mark. "Damnit Cas," he murmured against the Angel's skin.

"Have I done something?" Castiel asked, his hands moving to Dean's arms. Dean shook his head.

"You've undone me," he sighed, pushing a hand through Cas's thick hair. "I want you so bad, but I don't know... how..." Castiel's eyes narrowed.

"You... don't know how?" he asked incredulously. Dean shrugged.

"I know _how_ ," he answered, defensively. "I just... don't know... how to... begin."

Castiel tilted his head to the side, looking up into Dean's eyes for a moment.

"I think," he spoke, his voice deep but quiet. "We've already begun..." he dropped his eyes, bringing his hands to the button fly of Dean's jeans. Dean watched him closely, his fingers trembling to free the metal buttons from the denim. Dean leaned up on his knees so Cas could work the fabric down his thighs. Castiel took a steadying breath, his hand moving tentatively to explore the smooth, steely flesh of Dean's shaft. Dean groaned, biting his lip as he watched the Angel test his reaction to his touch. Castiel tilted his head, watching the flesh tense beneath his fingertips, the shiny liquid forming at the tip. He dragged his finger across the swollen head, fascinated by the sounds that the action pulled from Dean's throat.

"Cas," the younger man said in a ragged breath, watching the Angel's look of intense concentration. Castiel looked down at his palm, replaying Dean's actions in his brain. The saliva reduced the friction, but his mouth was feeling dry at the moment. He swallowed, wondering if there were something more efficient. He looked back down, his thoughts turning. Keeping one arm supporting the back of Dean's thighs, Cas ran the flat of his free hand down Dean's hip.

As if in slow motion, Dean watched Castiel lean forward, drawing his tongue up the length of Dean's dick. The younger man groaned loudly, his eyes fluttering closed and his hands gripping the Angel's shoulders.

"Cas," he began, the word fading into a moan as Castiel repeated the action several more times until he was satisfied with the amount of moisture he had generated. Dean settled back down onto Cas's lap and the Angel wrapped his fingers around Dean’s erection, moving his fist with hesitation. Dean leaned forward, crushing his lips to Castiel's and closing his hand around the Angel’s, guiding his movements. Castiel only needed a moments instruction before he took the lead, kissing Dean deeply, turning to lay him back on the sofa and kneeling over him. Dean was panting, the tension between his legs mounting with the methodical movement of Cas's hand. "Cas, c'mon," Dean grunted, but the Angel silenced him with his mouth.

The ache that pulsed the length of Dean's shaft and radiated up into his belly was unlike anything that he had experienced before. He unconsciously spread his legs wider, pushing his hips up against Castiel's hand, trying to meet him stroke for stroke. Cas was a quick study; he seemed to recognize the urgency in Dean's movements and increased the pace of his fist. Dean pulled the Angel down over him, kissing him desperately as the pressure in his testicles mounted and he felt his release about to give.

"Cas," he gasped, dropping his head back as the older man turned his lips to his throat.

"I have you, Dean," he spoke, a husky note to his rough voice.

There was a grin on Dean's face as his orgasm spilled forth. He heard Castiel's sigh of wonder as the warm fluid pulsed from the body beneath his. Cas continued to pump his fist until the last wave of Dean’s release was spent, and the two lay together, hearts hammering and breathing heavily. Dean wrapped his arms around the Angel who had settled his head against his chest, and he stroked the back of his neck affectionately. They lay together like that for several long moment, letting their bodies recover.

Castiel's even tone broke the silence.

"Dean," he began hesitantly. Dean tilted his head, trying to get a read on the expression on Cas's face.

"Hm?" he asked, smoothing the hair off of the Angel's forehead, but still couldn't see his eyes. Castiel was slow to continue.

" _That_ was sex... correct?"

Dean sighed, turning his face up to the ceiling. He resumed his stroking of Castiel's neck.

"No...well, yes," he answered, honestly. "Kind of. It’s a kind of sex... It's sexual, but it's not 'sex', if that makes sense."

"It does not," Castiel replied with equal candor. "You gave me intimate pleasure, and I you... I hope."

"You did good, Cas," Dean smiled. The Angel leaned up, looking down into Dean's face.

"Then what?" He asked, his expression concerned. "What did I not do?"

Dean cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably. He didn't know how he was going to break it to the Angel, and he hoped that he wouldn't be laying half naked and alone two seconds after the truth sunk in. He sighed.

"Sex," he began, unable to meet Castiel's eyes. He watched his own thumb gently stroke the line of Castiel's jaw. "... is technically when you join bodies with another person," Castiel's eye grew oddly wide, and Dean spoke quickly to quell the terror he saw there. "Not like a vessel," he explained, seeing the relief instantly replace shock, and the crease in Castiel's forehead smoothed slightly. "Like you put... your... equipment..." he didn't realize how repulsive it sounded out loud. "Into... the other person's... body."

The bridge of Cas's nose wrinkled.

"Where?" he asked, pointedly. Dean grimaced.

"Anywhere that's available," he replied dryly. "Where your bodies meet when yer laying down, whatever that happens to be" Castiel's brow furrowed and he blinked as he considered the information. Slowly, he pushed his torso up from Dean's and he looked down to where his hips fit between Dean's thighs. He was quiet for several long moments. He looked back up to Dean.

"Your rectum?" he asked. Dean balked, his cheek twitching involuntarily and he shifted a bit. He pulled his eyes away from Castiel's and moved his gaze down the exposed skin of the Angel's body, Dean's release still shiny on his abdomen and blotting the crisp white fabric of Cas’s dress shirt. His slacks were still pushed down just out of the way of everything important, and Dean marvelled at how accessible everything would be in this position. He'd been with more than enough women who had given him the green light, but never face to face. Somehow, the thought of making love to Castiel overshadowed his knee jerk reaction that the Angel was still a dude.

"Yeah," he answered, his voice broken as his mouth was now dry. His eyes flicked back up to assess the expression on Cas's face. He only looked concerned.

"And that is pleasurable?"

Dean shrugged, giving a huff of laughter.

"If it wasn't, no one would do it."

Castiel tilted his head, giving an expression of resigned agreement.

"I see..." he continued to contemplate the idea, his expression a mixture of concern and incredulity. Finally, he looked back down to his companion. "I trust you, Dean."

Dean gave a nod, feeling a odd press of emotion in his throat. An Angel trusted him - Castiel trusted him. Wanted him. Was this his reward for all of the crap he'd had to suffer so far? Was this what was worth all of the fighting and the traveling and the pain? Warm blue eyes looked down at him, the affection transparent in their gaze. Dean reached up, touching the Angel's cheek, but he didn't have to say a word.

~~~~

A/N: I'm not sure why I made Cas so naive, but it made me giggle. Please let me know if you would like to see more (or if I should delete this immediately!), there is plenty more where this came from (about approximately 430 thousand words and counting *grimace*).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Dean had thought making out with Castiel was a hard door to shut after the fact, it was nothing compared to the now open archway of having slept with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I may not have mentioned this last chapter, so I'll put it here. I wrote this well before I finished watching Season 5, so there are some changes. The boys have not met Adam yet, that is why he wasn't there to help with the apocalypse. None of the characters that died in Seasons 4 or 5 (or any after that, I think) have died. Unfortunately, as Dean takes an alternate road and this diverges drastically from canon, there might be some characters that I did love in the show that they don't get to meet in the conventional canon way. 
> 
> This chapter contains a lot of smut, and it's not really that greatly written. I really wrote this story to get to the fluff (I'm a fluff addict), so the pacing is not the best. There is also a tiny bit of "Plot? Where'd plot come from?". This chapter has not been beta read or edited for me. I've just read it a thousand times so I am now blind to the errors. Please let me know if any are glaring. And I hope you all enjoy it anyway.

    It seemed the jobs were getting tougher and more bizarre lately, and while Dean and Sam were successful in vanquishing whatever monsters dare send up red flags of their existence, Dean found that the job wasn't what was on the forefront of his mind. Cas was.   
  
    He had tried to keep things cool with Castiel, to keep their friendship as normal as possible, but there were doors that once opened seemed impossible to close. Whenever Cas was around, even if it was just to answer a question or provide some intelligence, Dean was thinking of some way to get him alone and kiss him senseless. It was as if they went from point A, to point R, and couldn’t seem to find their way back to point B - and he spent way too much time pondering the mechanics of point X. The mechanics, the when, then how, the who’s-doing-what.... He might have been a little ashamed of himself, but every time he wondered if what he was doing was wrong, Cas would show up and Dean would forget his concerns. Because all of the stuff that was simmering just beneath their friendship for all this time was now _part_ of the friendship, and Dean found that he could still look at Cas as the man who had fought by his side and pulled him from too many tough situations, but could also be the person Dean held in his arms and pressed kisses into his skin.   
  
    How fucking crazy was that?!   
  
    Not that is was only physical. At the end of the day, this was still Cas that he was doing this with. Aside from Sam, Cas was the best friend Dean had ever had, and he didn’t want to lose that. If he really thought about it - which he tried not to really think about it - It almost made sense that it was Cas he turned to for comfort. They lead an unconventional life, and they understood each other better than anyone else. So if he had to pick anyone for... for whatever it was this was, Cas was actually a pretty good choice.   
  
    It wasn’t all making out in hotels when Sam was out of sight. There were still cases to be taken care of, and Cas seemed to have his own matters to attend to. Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about Cas’s scarcity; his insecurity told him to worry about it, but the look in Cas’s eyes always soothed those little prickles of fear. The worst part about the days between meeting each other was that Dean had to confront the feeling that he missed Cas, and Dean Winchester had a strict policy about feelings: don’t have them; and if you do, pretend they don’t exist.   
  
    Of course, he also had a strict policy about making out with men, and look how well that worked out. Cas seemed to really be challenging everything Dean thought he knew about himself.    
  
    Seven weeks in to this new development in their, for lack of a better word, “relationship”, Dean and Sam were heading from the east coast to the west, tracking down a lead on a new job. They stopped to check in at a small motel in Oklahoma before heading out to a local discount store. Dean tread along behind Sam, who carried the shopping basket.   
  
    "We need toothpaste, we're almost out," Sam was saying, surveying the shelves. "I'm going to get this mint gel, if you don't mind... " he turned to his brother. "Or should we get separate now that we're staying in different rooms? It’s more convenient than having to come over and get it from you."  
  
    "That's fine," Dean shrugged, looking idly around the health and beauty section.  
  
    "So, what kind do you want?" Sam asked. Dean shrugged again.   
  
    "Whatever we normally get is fine," he replied, distractedly. "Hey, I'm gonna go look around."  
  
    "Okay," Sam replied, watching his brother walk away. He shook his head, walking toward the food section and wondering what could be going on in Dean’s head these days.  
  
    Dean strolled along the isles, looking for the items he needed, winding his way down to the pharmacy. He glanced around himself, making sure Sam was no where to be seen before turning down into the “family planning” isle. He was no stranger to the four foot section of lube and condoms, but never in his life did he think he would be here with the intention of getting to it with a man. It was only a matter of time though, with as hot and heavy as the two could get, and he was getting frustrated just grinding against each other like a couple of virgin teens.  
  
    Cas _was_ a virgin though, not that it was obvious in the way he kissed or the way he moved (dear god, not in the way he moved). That fact was still a little daunting. If Dean was the one to get to share that first time with him, he wanted to live up to any expectations. Dean didn’t doubt his own abilities in the bedroom, and he had (with the help of a little alcohol) done some research to supplement his knowledge. Dean had thought watching guy-on-guy porn would be a major turn off, but he was surprised how easily he imagined every single one of those scenarios with Cas as the person with him. And it was Cas he was imagining whenever the loneliness overwhelmed him and he could seek comfort in nothing but his palm.   
  
    Dean picked up a bottle of plain, water-based lube and turned it over in his hand. He supposed that there were still things he could experience for the first time as well, and he didn’t think he would be comfortable sharing that with anyone other than Cas. He was oddly okay with that.   
  
    He turned from the isle, taking the lubricant to the pharmacy counter.   
  
    "Can I buy this here?" he asked, setting the bottle down and taking out his wallet. The sales girl smiled, ringing up the single item and placing it in a bag. Dean wrapped it in the plastic sack and tucked it inside his inner jacket pocket. He winked at the girl. "Thanks,"  
  
    He met up with Sam in the snacks isle, where the younger Winchester was getting some easy, no-prep breakfast items.   
  
    "I wish we could cook dinner once in a while." Sam sighed. "I'm getting really tired of all this crap we eat day in and day out."  
  
    "Well, I'll pick a motel with a farmers market next door and a white picket fence around it next time," Dean replied. Sam smirked, shaking his head. He was surprised when his older brother continued. "But, I know what you mean. Would be nice to eat something that hasn't been processed, flash frozen, or deep fried."  
  
    Sam stared at his brother for a moment as if he wasn’t sure what to make of him.   
  
    “Should I get some holy water?” he asked with a smirk.   
  
    “Shut up,” Dean replied, pushing his brother toward the front of the store. They joined the queue to checkout and the two purchased the rest of their items and returned to the car. As they pulled out of the parking lot, Sam's phone rang.  
  
    "Hello?" he answer, surprised to hear the gruff voice on the other end.   
  
    "Hello Sam," Castiel said. "I'm sorry to trouble you, but Dean's phone goes straight to his name mail."  
  
    Sam smiled, glancing over at his brother who mouthed "who is it?"  
  
    "No worries, Cas," he spoke into the phone. "And, it's 'voice mail'."  
  
    "Oh... well, I was wondering if you were both alright."  
  
    "Yeah Cas, we're fine. Dean and I were just getting some groceries."  
  
    "Oh..."  
  
    Sam listened to the silence on the other end for a moment before asking.   
  
    "Are you alright, Cas?"  
  
    Dean tried not to make it obvious that he turned toward his brother.   
  
    "Yes, Sam, I’m fine." there was hesitance again. "I was just... wondering if I could visit you two..."  
  
     Sam looked to Dean, repeating the question.  
  
    "You want to visit us?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Dean rolled his eyes, shrugging indifferently. Sam answered for them. "Sure Cas. We're staying at the motel just off 77 on E Central in Tonkawa, Oklahoma."  
  
    "I'm already there." Cas replied.   
  
    Sam chuckled as Dean turned the Impala off the highway and onto the street. The Motel was clearly visible just a few blocks off the interstate, and standing out front was their trenchcoated friend. Dean parked the car and let Sam grab the shopping bags.   
  
    "Hey Cas," Dean greeted casually. Cas nodded in reply, his voice as even and gruff as usual.   
  
    "Hello Dean,"  
  
    While Dean never explicitly told Castiel not to let on to Sam about their new extra curricular activities, Cas thankfully seemed to pick up on that it was not something he wanted to share with his brother. Dean noticed Castiel was holding a paper bag in his hand.   
  
    "What's that?" Dean asked, pointing to the bag. Cas and Sam both looked down as well. Cas turned back up to look at Dean.  
  
    "It's pie," he answered. Both Winchesters looked surprised. Castiel continued. "I was walking through the fields of Norway, admiring the wondrous beauties of God when I came upon a village. There was a local women selling these pies..." he looked down at the bag again. "So I purchased one."  
  
    Sam laughed.   
  
    "Where did you get Norwegian krones to buy them?" he asked.   
  
    Castiel looked back to him.   
  
    "I repainted the outside of her home as a barter," he explained, evenly. Sam laughed again, amused and amazed.    
  
    "For a pie?" he pressed, shaking his head and preceding them both into the motel room. Castiel turned to Dean, holding out the bag.   
  
    "I hear it is the best pie," the Angel said, a little shyly.   
  
    Dean gave a uneasy grin, taking the sack.   
  
    "Thanks, Cas," he spoke quietly before they followed Sam into the room.   
  
    They ordered pizza and shared a few beers (Castiel passed on pizza, but didn't need asked twice for the frothy, cold bottle of barley and hops), setting around the small retro table in Sam's room. They talked about nothing in particular, staying clear of anything involving demons or evil. They mostly talked about Cas’s trip through Norway and all of the other beautiful things they had seen in their travels across the U.S. - but not particularly the purpose of the traveling. When they were through with dinner, Sam went to the small kitchenette area to serve the pie. Dean followed, carrying the empty bottles and paper plates.   
  
    "Be generous with those pie slices, Sammy," Dean instructed, smiling greedily as Sam opened the box containing the deep dish, maple apple walnut pie. "Oooh," he spoke to the dessert, shaking his head. "You fine,"  
  
    Sam chuckled, getting out a knife.  
  
    "Hey Dean," he began hesitantly, looking over his shoulder to where the Angel sat patiently, staring out the window. "Have you noticed that we've been seeing a lot of Cas lately?"  
  
    "What do you mean?" Dean asked, focusing on the pie and trying not to appear too interested in the motivation for the question. “I haven’t noticed him around much.”   
  
    "Well," Sam shrugged. "He's been hanging out with us quite a bit more than he _usually_ does... doesn't that seem... _odd_ to you?"   
  
    "Odd?" Dean repeated, laying out new plates.   
  
    "Yeah, odd," Sam continued. "I mean, I love Cas like a brother Dean, really I do, but... it just doesn't make sense why he's around so much lately. Does it make sense to you?"  
  
    "I don't know, Sam," Dean said with a frown. "He's not exactly got a lot of options for company. Maybe he's lonely."  
  
    "That's sad," Sam's reaction sounded as though he hadn't considered the possibility before.   
  
    "Hush," Dean commanded quietly. "Don't make a deal out of it, okay? Just let the man eat pie with his friends for a night. Who knows what sad, miserable place he goes after this..."  
      
    Dean took two plates and returned to the table. Sam followed, a sheepish look on his face.   
  
    "Here ya go Cas," Dean spoke. "Beer goes great with apple pie,"  
  
    Castiel looked at the plate a moment before turning his eyes back to Dean.  
  
    "I don't need to eat," he spoke. "I receive my sustenance from the Grace of God. I do not need to ingest nourishment."  
  
    "But, it's **_pie_** ," Dean rebutted, taking a large forkfull. He looked as though he were about to continue, but the moment he closed his mouth his eyes rolled back slightly and he made an almost obscene moan. Cas turned to Sam, who was laughing. "There is a God," Dean spoke after a moment. "And he made this pie."  
  
    "I assure you," Castiel told him. "It was not God. It was a little old lady from Vesteralen name Magda..."  
  
    Dean chuckled, taking another large bite. Sam spoke next.   
      
    "You may not need to eat, but you can, right?" he asked, giving the Angel a smile. "I mean, you're drinking that beer right now. And I've seen you eat before. Besides, not all pleasurable things are 'needs', right?"  
  
    Dean began to choke on his pie, turning to his brother.   
  
    "What is wrong with you?" he demanded. "Don't pervert pie. Never pie."  
  
    Sam just smiled. Castiel looked down at the dessert.   
  
    "I suppose," he began with hesitance. "That this is part of the human experience..." he looked down at the plate and picked up his fork. Both Sam and Dean watched intently as the Angel separated a chunk of pie from the slice and lifted it to his lips. Sam was smiling, waiting for the reaction. Dean was watching the Angel's mouth. He licked his lips.   
  
    Castiel put the fork to his mouth and took a bite. He chewed slowly, concentrating on the nuances of flavor against his tongue. Sam and Dean both continued watching, for different reasons. Cas's eyebrows raised and he swallowed, a smile on his face.   
  
    "That is very good," he agreed. Dean suppressed his own smile, turning his head down to finish eating. Sam returned to his own dish as well. The conversation died at this point and they ate in silence. Once finished, Dean pushed back from the table.   
  
    "Well Cas," he said with a sigh. "Thanks for that."  
  
    "It was my pleasure, Dean," the Angel replied, standing. Dean was surprised to see him rise. "I should be going."  
  
    "Already?" Sam asked. "You can stay if you want. Dean’s probably going to be glued to the TV because the local station is having a marathon of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders reality show, but we could play cards or something?"  
  
    Dean made a sound of indignation, and Castiel gave a soft, appreciative smile.   
  
    "Thank you Sam, but I have important matters I have to attend to. I do appreciate the offer."  
  
    Sam nodded.  
  
    "Anytime Cas," he insisted. "Any time. We’re all friends here, so..."  
  
    Castiel gave a small incline of his head and was gone. Sam appeared sorry to see him go, but gathered the rest of the dishes and took them to the trash and continued to tidy up.   
  
    Dean watched his brother as he worked, rolling his beer bottle between his palms as he wondered how soon would be too soon to return to his own room.    
  
    "I should turn in myself," he said.   
  
    "You too?" Sam asked. "You can stay. I’ll watch the cheerleaders with you. Or we could do something else. "  
  
    Dean looked hesitant, but shook his head.   
  
    "Maybe tomorrow, Sammy."  
  
    The brothers said good night, and Dean walked two doors down to his own room. He shut and locked the door, pulling off his coat and flannel overshirt before tossing them in a chair. Dean took the wrapped bag from the pocket of his coat, removing the contents and dropping it into the draw of the bedside table. He stretched his arms above his head before stretching them across his chest. He signed, staring around the empty room. An odd pang of loneliness hit him and he frowned. Taking a breath, he turned his eyes to the ceiling.   
  
    "Hey, Cas-"  
  
    He didn't have a chance to finish when the Angel was before him. Dean took a step back from surprise, but relaxed just as quickly. Castiel spoke.   
  
    "I was hoping you would call," he said, honestly. "I was afraid that you wouldn't."  
  
    Dean smirked, shaking his head.   
  
    "Why wouldn't I?" he asked, taking a step forward and looking down at the Angel. Castiel shrugged, his eyes dropping from Dean's and moving to his mouth.  
  
    "I thought you might still be drinking with your brother..." he explained. "And eating pie..."  
  
    "That was damn fine pie," Dean laughed, taking another step closer to the Angel. "You did good, Cas. Thank you." Castiel's face flushed slightly pink above his cheekbones. Pleasing Dean caused a funny swooping sensation in his stomach; the praise was all icing.   
  
    "You... you are welcome."  
  
    In the last seven weeks, Dean and Castiel had little more than half a dozen meetings like this that all started out the same: pleasantries, awkward pauses, hesitant moments. Dean had a sudden thought and closed the distance between himself and the Angel, pressing his lips against the others. The first kiss broke the tension and Castiel submitted to the younger man, giving him entry into his mouth. Dean pulled back with a smile.   
  
    "Damn fine pie," he repeated, licking his lips. Cas's blush deepened. Dean gave a nod to the row of hooks by the door. "Take off your coat."  
  
    Castiel pulled off the heavy trench coat, hanging it on the hook before removing his suit jacket and placing it on the rack as well. He turned back to Dean.  
  
    "May I... stay a while with you?" he asked. Dean's mind wondered a moment and he nodded.   
  
    "I think that can be arranged." he felt a heat rise up the back of his neck, and he continued speaking before he could think to stop himself. “You can stay all night... if you want.”  
  
    Dean didn’t look to Cas for an answer, but he was pleased by the tone of gratitude in the Angel’s deep voice.   
  
    “I would like that, very much.”  
  
    Castiel stood quietly by the door, watching Dean gather glasses and take a bottle from his duffel bag. He poured a healthy measure into one glass, looking back over his shoulder.   
  
    "You want one?" he asked.   
  
    "No Dean," Cas replied. "I'm fine."  
  
    Dean nodded, tossing back the liquid courage and returning to where the Angel stood. He reached past Cas and turned off the light, casting the room in semi-darkness. Light from the adjacent bathroom bathed the room in a pale glow. Dean looked down at the Angel.  
  
    “Have a seat,” he offered, indicating the loveseat just beside the door. “You sure you don’t want a drink?”   
  
    Cas shook his head, settling back on the faux-leather cushion as Dean went to pour himself another tumbler of alcohol.   
  
    “I’m sure. Are you currently working a case?” Cas asked, his eyes following the hunter as he returned to settle at his side. “I don’t want to be a... distraction.”  
  
    Dean grinned, giving the Angel a wink.  
  
    “Too late for that,” he replied. Castiel smiled, dropping his eyes to where he had his hands folded in his lap. He experienced that odd, twisting sensation in his stomach again, but had to accept the fact that is was just another reaction unique to the attention of this particular human. Cas cleared his throat.   
  
    “I don’t want to keep you from your cheerleader program,” he continued, glancing to Dean. The hunter gave a soft laugh, shaking his head.   
  
    “Reruns,” he replied, rubbing a hand over his neck in a self-soothing manner. “I haven’t seen you in more than a couple days... I’d rather just catch up.”  
  
    Castiel smiled softly, nodding in agreement.   
  
    The two men sat in companionable silence for several moments before beginning a conversation about the activity of the last several days. Castiel didn’t offer much information, and Dean tried to fill the pauses with anecdotes of life on the road. They had somehow gravitated closer toward each other, and Dean’s leg was brushing Cas’s thigh. The conversation died off without notice, slipping seamlessly into an exchange of tense, longing looks that were quickly replaced by slow, and sensual kisses.   
  
    Dean moved in closer to the Angel, slipping an arm around him. His mind hummed pleasantly, and he chalked it up to the buzz of alcohol, but didn’t argue with himself that Cas was a damned fine kisser. Cas was making tiny contented sounds, and Dean found he chased each one with another kiss. His body was growing warm, and he pressed in closer to Cas’s cool skin.   
  
    With a groan, Dean pulled himself away from the Angel and he got to his feet, tugging on his pantlegs to release some of the tightness in his groin. He turned an offered a hand to Cas, pulling him to his feet.     
  
    "I guess if you're gonna spend the night,” he said, his voice a little deeper than normal.  “...we should probably get ready for bed."  
  
    Castiel didn't reply, he merely waited for Dean to initiate the next kiss before responding in kind. He wanted to please the hunter, and he followed Dean’s lead as they undressed each other. It wasn't long before clothes were shed and they collapsed on the bed, hands and lips roaming over bare flesh. In the last several weeks they had become accustomed to many of each others likes and desires, and moved easily with the other once their initial hesitance faded. Castiel tried very hard to make Dean moan, doing everything he had learned that the hunter seemed to enjoy. He was pleased to succeed. Dean found he had the same desire in finding out which touches or actions were Cas’s hot buttons, especially since Cas didn’t even know what his own hot buttons were. Dean did have a little bit of reservation about being the one to lead the Angel unto temptation, but if it had to be anyone...  
  
    Dean pushed the sheets back and lay back against the pillows, pulling Cas down at his side. Castiel wanted to worship Dean, his mouth traveling over as much of the beautiful, freckled skin within his reach. Dean’s throat, his shoulders, his chest, were all branded with his lips, and Dean felt as breathless as if he were being deeply kissed. He could feel himself blushing; Cas’s adoration was intense and palpable, and a little overwhelming. And god did that make did want to reciprocate.   
  
    Dean’s hands threaded into the Angel’s dark, wavy hair before sliding back down over his neck. Cas actually whimpered, bringing his lips back to Dean’s and expressing his appreciation with a kiss. Dean smiled against the Angel’s mouth, pulling him closer until Cas had no choice but to settle over the younger man. Dean gasped when Castiel's erection slid against his own and he pressed back against him, tilting his hips to allow for greater contact. Having the other man’s heavy weight and muscled body between his legs was such a foreign feeling for Dean, but he spread his thighs wider without reservation to allow Cas as close as possible. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck, kissing him deeply while they moved against each other.    
  
    "Dean," Castiel groaned, but he couldn't continue, unsure of what he wanted to say. Dean grunted, loathe to stop the beautiful friction between them. His body was on fire, and Castiel’s cool skin only made him hotter.   
  
    "Cas," he gasped, pushing Castiel by the arms. "Cas, hold up."  
  
    "What?" Castiel asked, almost shocked, but he ceased all movement, looking down into Dean's wide eyes. "You want me to stop?"  
  
    Dean was breathing just as heavy as the Angel, but he nodded.   
  
    "Just for a sec," he assured him. He licked his lips nervously. Castiel's blue eyes were nearly black from the dim light, his pupils wide with arousal. Dean cleared his throat. "I, uh," he began, not sure how to phrase himself. This was their first time spending the night together. Their first night actually completely undressed and lying down together. He wasn’t sure when they would get another. He cleared his throat again. "I'm... ready..."  
  
    Castiel stared back at him. When he spoke, his voice was even toned but just slightly panicked.   
  
    "I... I have no idea what you want me to do."  
  
    Dean brought his hands to Cas's face.  
  
    "It's okay," he assured him. "I just mean I'm ready..." he swallowed the lump in his throat. "to have sex. If... If you want..."  
  
    Castiel stared at him in silence, but Dean could feel the muscles in his body contract - from excitement or fear, he couldn't tell. Probably both. Cas's next words were a few minutes coming.   
  
    "What do I do?"  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, leaning up and causing Castiel to push himself up as well. He leaned to open the bedside table, taking out the bottle he had purchased just hours before. Castiel watched transfixed as Dean took his hand and turned his palm up. He poured a generous measure of the clear gel into Cas's hand; it felt warm and slippery against his skin. Castiel looked back to Dean, who was looking back expectantly. Cas's eyebrows rose.   
  
    "Do I ... drink this?" he asked. Dean grimaced, shaking his head in disbelief and amusement.   
  
    "No, you, ah,” he made a vague motion towards the Angel’s waist. “You rub it on your... equipment." he replied. “Lubricant.”  
  
    "Oh. Of course," Castiel answered, his face flushing pink once again. “I’m sorry,” Dean gave a huff of laughter.   
  
    "I ain't laughing at you, Cas," he assured the Angel, watching him pull his hand down between them and shift his position to comply with Dean's instruction. “And don’t be sorry, you’ll be fine...” Dean could feel the excess liquid drip down over his own erection and run in meandering trails between his legs. He swallowed hard, a small voice in the back of his head freaking out over what he was about to do, but when he lifted his lids and saw those soulful azure eyes looking back down at him, the voice fell silent. Cas may be a virgin, but this was something special Dean could give him in return. If it was going to be the Angel’s first time, he wanted him to be in control of his own pleasure.   
  
    Castiel's deep voice was hushed in the silent room.  
  
    "I don’t want you to be uncomfortable," he whispered. "Are you sure this is okay?"  
  
    Dean forced a smile, relaxing the tendons in his hips so Cas could settle in closer.   
  
    "It may be uncomfortable at first," he answered honestly, saddened by the look of regret on the Angel's face. "But I'm more than okay." he pulled Castiel's face down to kiss him, waiting for the Angel's tense body to relax back into him. Castiel didn't seem to respond, his lips barely moving. The younger man sighed, gently stroking the back of the Angel's hair. "I've got you," he whispered calmly, "And you got me, right Cas? You're not going to hurt me. I promise."  
  
      Castiel's forehead creased, but he nodded and let Dean pull him down for another kiss. Dean tried to consciously relax, but his body reacted instinctively to the wet warmth that pressed against his opening and he had to force himself not to recoil.   
  
    "This isn't working," Castiel mumbled, a slight sigh in his tone. Dean shook his head.   
  
    "Don't give up on me, Cas. Not so easily,"  
  
    "I will never give up on you Dean," Castiel whispered in reply, resting his forehead against Dean's. "That would be impossible. But, we don’t have to do this, if you are uncomfortable. I’m okay with... with just lying here with you."  
  
    “I’m not uncomfortable,” Dean assured him, dropping his hands to skim along Cas’s torso and rest on his hips. A ghost of a smile turned his lips, and he moved one hand further to stroke the Angel’s shaft. “We’ve been through tougher situations than this.” Castiel’s eyes slid closed, and he thrust unconsciously into Dean’s palm. “You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to.”  
  
    “I want to,” Castiel replied deeply. “I do,”  
  
    “...good man,” Dean replied, shifting beneath Cas, trying to help guide him. Dean tried not to hold his breath, baring down against the press of Castiel's erection. Cas was gentle, and slowly Dean felt his body give way. With a gasp of surprise, Cas slid just barely into the younger man's tight passage and he stilled, unsure of what do next. The combination of wet and heat tightly gripping him was intoxicating, and he pulled back slightly before trying to sink himself further into the body beneath him. Dean groaned, dropping his head back on the pillow, grunting with the effort of not crying out.   
  
    "Is this okay?" Castiel asked, concerned. Dean nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt Cas withdraw, only to bury himself more deeply on his return. The pressure was intense, the lubricant helping ease the friction but there was still a bit of burn from muscles that were not used to being stretched. Castiel moved with hesitance, unused to the motion but trying his best to match the rhythm of their movements from before. Dean could hear his own breath loud in his ears, waiting for the discomfort to fade. So it came as a surprise when something inside him lit up like a supernova.  
  
    "Cas!" Dean gasped, he thighs pressing against Castiel's hips as if to keep him where the pleasure was. The feeling faded, but burst forth once again as Castiel thrust deep. "god - uhn - that... _that_..."  
  
    "This?" Castiel asked breathlessly, rolling his hips in order to recreate the motion that caused the young man beneath him to arch toward him with pleasure.   
  
    "Yes, yes Cas,” he replied, desperately.  “That... Th-" the word died on Dean's lips and his mouth went slack, his eyes squeezing shut as he focused on the feeling of friction, pressure, and movement inside of him. He had no idea it would be like this. Not so soon, anyway. Castiel quickly found a pace and an angle that satisfied both of their needs and Dean held tightly to him, letting the Angel lead, allowing him this experience without further direction. He was doing a great job without his input, anyway.  
  
    It wasn't long before the pressure began to mount and Dean was unaware of how loud his breathing had become, a constant groan of pleasure issuing from his throat. Castiel was making small grunts of effort, the sound only increasing the tightness in the hunter's groin. When the thrusts became erratic, Dean knew he was close.   
  
    "Dean," Cas warned in a gasp, "I-"  
  
    "You're fine," Dean responded quickly, moving back against him. "It's okay,"  
  
    Castiel buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck, one hand gripped tightly to the sheet and the other holding Dean's hip with equal strength. Dean reached down between them, taking his own shaft in hand, stroking himself to chase the swell of his own impending orgasm. With a cry of relief and gratitude, Castiel pressed forward into Dean, his release spilling deep inside the body beneath him. Dean cried out, not realizing it was Castiel's full name on his lips as the depth of the Angel's last strokes brought his own end crashing between them. Dean held tightly to the Angel's trembling body, both men panting like athletes. Cas lay quiet a moment, recovering himself before gently pulling away. Dean had a strange thought of how empty it felt without him.   
  
    Castiel dropped at Dean's side, his face held an expression of awe and an emotion that looked very similar to joy. Dean looked over at him.  
  
    "Well?" he asked, after catching his breath. "That was it... what, uh... what did you think?"  
  
    Cas shook his head, unable to respond immediately. When he found his voice, he spoke in a husky tone.   
  
    "That was beautiful," he said in amazement. "Physical expressions of emotion... I... I am... I can't," he shook his head. He reached out for Dean, leaning over to kiss him. "Thank you,"  
  
    Dean blushed hotly, not sure how to respond to such praise and compliments and _affection_. He felt sweaty and a bit sticky, but he wanted nothing more than to lay entwined with the cool, firm body beside him. Castiel was laying soft kisses on his forehead, and for the the first time in his life, Dean felt safe in another's arms. It was as if the thought alone allowed exhaustion to over take him and he closed his eyes, leaning into Castiel's embrace,enjoying the feather soft touches across his brow. Castiel was murmuring something, his deep voice humming as he spoke words that Dean could no longer comprehend. Just as the younger man began to slip into the first really deep sleep he'd had in more than twenty years, the last word from Castiel's lips thrummed in his ear.  
  
    " _Amen_ ,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~       
       
  
    Castiel left early the following morning. Their parting words were not awkward, nor could they count as touching; Dean asked Cas when he would return, to which the Angel replied "whenever you call on me". Dean had watched him go with regret, wondering how soon would be too soon to speak the Angel's name. If Dean had thought making out with Castiel was a hard door to shut after the fact, it was nothing compared to the now open archway of having slept with him.   
  
    Sam came over to Dean's motel room in the morning to ask him about breakfast. Dean had just gotten out of the shower, and Sam was a little surprised to see the bed looked like an attempt had been made to make it. Sam watched his brother as he spread shaving foam over his jaw and began removing it with his razor. He dropped into a chair just outside the bathroom.  
  
    "Did... did you have a girl over last night?" he asked. Dean's eyebrows drew together and he gave Sam an incredulous look in the mirror.   
  
    "What makes you think that?" he asked, trying not to make his uncomfortable shift too obvious. Sam didn't notice the nuance of Dean's movements, focusing instead on the nearly made bed.   
  
    "Just a hunch," he explained. Dean followed his brother's gaze to the rumpled sheets that were pulled hastily up over the bed.   
  
    "Look Sammy," he said, irritably. "We got sperate rooms so we could do our own thing without all the interrogation,"  
  
    "I know, I know," Sam replied, "It's just... I mean..." he gave an embarrassed laugh. "Do you already have a woman in every town? We weren't even here for 24 hours... just like the last town."  
  
    "You keepin' track?" Dean demanded, looking disgruntled. Sam shook his head.   
  
    "No Dean," he defended himself. "I'm just..." he shrugged. "Worried about you." Dean laughed.   
  
    "Worried about me getting too much tail?" he said, turning back to the sink and continuing to shave. Dean finished cleaning up and dressing before returning to the main room where Sam sat at the table. Sam was now just looking at him, but the entire conversation he wanted to have was written all over his face. Dean rolled his eyes, settling down in the seat opposite his brother. "Sammy," he growled warningly. "Forget it. I'm a big boy. I know what I'm doing,"  
  
    He sure as hell hoped he knew what he was doing.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Over the next three weeks, Cas and Dean didn't have much opportunity for any quality time alone. They had a run of bad luck on their way through Nevada, with their next two hotels each only having one vacant room they had to share. Dean found being in Castiel's presence a little more distracting than usual, but the Angel played his part perfectly, arousing no suspicion that even Dean began to wonder if their extra curricular's had just been a series of perverted dreams.  
  
    In the fourth week, Dean was lucky enough to get a room to himself, even though he was a little irritated by getting stuck with a double bed as opposed to a queen. At least the perceived dry spell had Sam off his case.  
  
    The time seemed to stretch, feeling unnaturally long as Dean waited for the least suspicious time to split ways with Sam and lock himself in his room. As soon as he slid the chain in the track, he pulled out his cell phone and brought up the contacts list. He didn't even have a chance to selects Castiel's phone number when he heard the rushing of atmosphere behind him and he turned, expecting to see the Angel he was attempting to call. It wasn't Cas.   
  
    Dean stumbled back, cursing that his bag was on the other side of the room. He didn't have a weapon on him and he knew from experience not to trust that even when your opponent looked like an unassuming, young girl - she could still rip your head off. Dean stood up straight, trying not to look disturbed by the sudden appearance. His eyes quickly scanned the stranger - she looked to be about early twenties, with dark hair and wide azure eyes. She was staring intently into his face, as if looking straight through him. For a bizarre moment, he wondered if Castiel had taken a new vessel.   
  
    A split second after that thought, he realized how much he would regret that.  
  
    "Who are you?" he demanded. The girl stared at him evenly, before her eyes narrowed.   
  
    "You're Dean Winchester," she stated. Dean smirked.   
  
    "Did you not understand the question, sweetheart?" he asked, starting to edge toward his bag. The girl tilted her head to the side.   
  
    "You needn't get your knife," she told him blandly. "It wouldn't work anyway. I'm not a demon."  
  
    "Oh?" Dean asked, trying not to seem surprised by her words. "Then what are you."  
  
    The girl took a deep, even breath.   
  
    "I'm a sister," she answered. "Specifically, Castiel's sister."  
  
    Dean rolled his eyes.   
  
    "He's got a pretty damn big family," he commented with a smirk. "And I can't say I've endeared myself to any of them."  
  
    "You've endeared yourself to Castiel," she remarked, her expression darkening. "So much so that you've let my brother throw himself from the Kingdom of Heaven and you've infected him with the poison of your doubt." Dean's brows drew together as he listened to her speak, her blue eyes shiny with frustrated tears. "My brother was a good Angel. He was devout, he loved our Father, and he had faith. Look what you have done to him."  
  
    "What do you mean "what I've done to him"?" Dean growled, but he felt heat on the back of his neck. "Cas is the one who pulled me from the pit and into this world of Angels versus Demons. I wasn't the one who told him not to trust your dad. I think the whole “abandoning the world” thing did that!"  
  
    The young angel smirked, and Dean frowned.   
  
    "You have lead my brother astray," she accused him, taking a step ahead.  "and you think, in the thousands of years my brother has graced this universe, that it ever occurred to him to wonder where our father was? But no, it wasn't until the Angel Castiel met you, Dean Winchester, that he loses his faith in our world. Don't think I don't know what you are up to," her tone became even more icy. "But it's not just the indignities you have my brother doing at your command,"  
  
    "What the hell you mean by that?" he snapped, hoping that the heat hadn't spread to his face. The angel frowned.   
  
    "You call my brother to do your dirty work, to save you when you're in a bind, to carry out your plans. You have no right to treat him how you do."  
  
    "Cas is my friend," Dean told her. "I don't have to explain myself to you. Your brother's a big boy, he can take care of himself. I don't tell him what to do."  
  
    The look of derision on her face made him scowl deeper.   
  
    "Castiel has been doing your bidding since he pulled you from Hell. He is devoted to you, and you have used that to your benefit." she shook her head, "But he'll do whatever you ask." she turned those deep blue eyes back to him. "Which is why you have to give him the orders now. He'll listen to you."  
  
    Dean stared at the girl, narrowing his eyes in confusion.   
  
    "I'm sorry, what?"  
  
    The angel moved toward him again, desperation in those eyes that were so like her brother's. Before she could continue, Dean spoke.   
  
    "What's your name... and where'd you get the vessel?"  
  
    She was quiet a moment, but answered his question.   
  
    "Amariel," she said. "And this vessel..." she sighed. "a devout and faithful women, from a bloodline of the devout and faithful."  
  
    "Her name," Dean growled. Amariel took a deep breath and lifted her chin.   
  
    "Sandra Keller," she told him. His eyes bore into hers and she finished, with reluctance. "Formerly Novak." Dean signed, closing his eyes, sighing heavily. She continued quickly as if in defense of her choice. "It's not easy to find a vessel, a willing and faithful vessel." she gave a small smile. "And I love my brother." the smile disappeared and she turned back to Dean, her expression dark once again. "Which is why I need your help. Why _he_ needs your help. " It was then that Dean noticed that it wasn't anger in her face, it was desperation.   
  
    "What's going on with Cas?" he asked her, suddenly a lot less interested in tossing this angel from the room.   
  
    "It's bad," she replied, running a hand through her long, wavy hair. "He... he's in deep this time. He's a man possessed. Possessed with doing whatever it takes to protect you. You, Dean Winchester."   
  
    "Me?" Dean asked. Amariel gave him a sour look.   
  
    "Really?" she asked, skeptically. "You doubt that?" Dean was quiet, so she continued. "My brother has gotten himself into a situation in which he sees no alternative." Dean frowned. He didn’t want to believe Cas would do the wrong things, but he knew how reliable a brain could be when the heart was desperate. "He is headed down a path in which he will not return as the same kind and beautiful angelic being that he is. My gift is future site, Dean. I've seen what he becomes."  
  
    Dean frowned, his jaw tightening.   
  
    "What to you mean? What's going to happen to Cas? Is he alright?" he growled his next command. "Tell me!"  
  
    "He will die," she spoke gravely, looking up into Dean's face. "But not before he has lost all hope. Not before he falls as far as possible. Until he learns fear and loss and pain and suffering. Until he stands bleeding on the edge of eternity, being cast out of the Kingdom, and left to wonder the earth alone."  
  
    "I won't let that happen," Dean told her. Amariel shook her head.   
  
    "You think you weren't part of the problem?"   
  
    Dean's brow furrowed, his anger was rising but when he spoke, his voice was a tense whisper.   
  
    "What do you mean by that?"  
  
    "I mean that your pride is part of what caused my brother’s fall," she told him, sadly. "That his love will be repaid with disdain. But you have already taken the first step toward preventing a regrettable future. You hold the key to making this better."  
  
    "I have no idea what you are talking about!" Dean raged. "You angels are always trying to get me to do something, but you never actually tell me what it is!"  
  
    "Save Castiel!" She yelled back. "Don't discard him."  
  
    Dean's wrinkled his nose in disgust.   
  
    "Cas is my best friend," he hissed to her. "I will always have his back. He's family,"  
  
    Amariel sighed, turning away from him.   
  
    "You say that now," she said softly. "But, even so... I've seen the way you treat your family." Dean nearly growled.  
  
    "If he's your brother, why don't you stop him."  
  
    She turned back.  
  
    "Older brothers seldom listen." she told him. "Especially to their younger siblings." she shook her head. "You have a greater stake in this than you know, Dean Winchester. If you claim to care for my brother, you will find a way to stop him. Not by turning on him. Not by judging him. But by being for him what he has been for you. Trust me," she looked into his eyes again, and he felt as though she were seeing into his mind.   
  
    "I wouldn't turn on him." he told her, "I... need him."  
  
    Amariel smiled, but it wasn't friendly.   
  
    "You have no idea."  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed and he was distracted by his ringing phone. He pulled it from his pocket and looked down at the screen, the display showing it was Cas. He looked back up, and Amariel was gone. Dean sighed, shaking head as he answered.   
  
    "Cas?"  
  
    "Hello Dean" came the familiar voice. Dean looked around, expecting Castiel to already be present.   
  
    "What's going on, Cas?" he asked. "You okay?"       
  
    "Yes, I'm fine," The Angel replied. "I hope you are well... as well..."  
  
    Dean gave a smirk.   
  
    "Yeah fine," he cradled the phone against his ear, slipping his free hand down into his pocket. "But you don't really sound like you are. Why don't you get yourself down here and lets talk about it. I'm in room 124 of the Duckwater, Nevada Sundown Lodge." the words had barely left his lips and the Angel was before him. Dean closed his phone. "Hey Cas,"  
  
    "Hello," the older man replied, stowing his phone in the pocket of his coat. "Thank you for inviting me,"  
  
    "No trouble," Dean replied, his eyes taking in all of the little nuances of Castiel's appearance. His eyes looked tired, and there was a near permanent crease across his brow. Dean frowned slightly. "You know Cas," he told the Angel. "You don't look like you’re okay."  
  
    Castiel stared at Dean a moment before he sighed, adverting his eyes from his friend.   
  
    "I have a lot on my mind," he admitted. "Raphael has been making a greater presence in Heaven. He is determined to continue the path to the apocalypse..."  
  
    Dean touched Castiel's arm, gently guiding him toward the sofa.  
  
    "But you got guys on your side, right?" Dean asked, making a stop by the fridge for a couple beers before returning to sit by Castiel's side. He pulled the top off one and handed it to his companion.   
  
    "Thank you..." Cas spoke before answering. "I have allies, but in far fewer numbers than Raphael. Not only is he a senior soldier, he is my elder brother by many centuries."  
  
    "And older brothers don't listen to the little ones, huh?" Dean smirked, resting one of his arms across the back of the sofa and taking a drink of his beer. Cas shook his head.   
  
    "Not so much, no." he admitted. He closed his eyes when he felt Dean's hand on the back of his head. Dean watched him, gently stroking his hair. It was an odd feeling, watching the man beside him. He couldn't explain it, he wasn't sure exactly when it was that he went from seeing Cas as just another man to someone he actually felt affection toward. Affection and attraction.   
  
    "Why don't you tell me about it," Dean said. "And I'll see where I can help out."  
  
    The Angel gave a small smile, shaking his head.   
  
    "I'd rather not talk about it right now," he replied. "I didn't come to burden you with the troubles of Heaven."  
  
    Dean tilted his head to the side, a cheeky grin on his face.   
  
    "What did you come for."  
  
    Castiel blinked once.   
  
    "Your companionship."  
  
    Dean gave a half smile, pulling Castiel toward him and kissing him on the mouth. Castiel brought a hand up to Dean's chest, but didn't push him away. He accepted the kiss, and soon his fingers were twisted into the front of Dean's shirt. When they parted, Castiel took a deep breath, sighing.   
  
    "Dean," he began quietly. "Maybe we do need to talk,"  
  
    "No," Dean shook his head. "No, not tonight." he said firmly. Castiel looked at Dean in confusion as the hunter stood. Dean took his hand and pulled him to his feet. He began undoing the Angel's tie. "We don't need to talk about a thing. We're going to bed."  
  
    Castiel's eyes held a bit of concern and sadness, before they showed resignation.  
  
    "Okay Dean," he agreed.  
  
    Dean turned from him, heading over to his duffel bag and pulling some clothes from inside. He turned back and handed them to the Angel.   
  
    "These should fit you okay," he said. Castiel looked down at the T-shirt and cotton pants.  
  
    "...Okay," he answered. Dean nodded, turning to strip out of his clothes and down to his boxer briefs. Castiel slowly pulled off his own things before putting on Dean's pajamas. Dean pulled back the sheets and turned out the lights, motioning Cas to get in before him. The Angel turned back to him.   
  
    "This bed... is rather small, don't you think?" he asked. Dean laughed, giving him a push.  
  
    "That makes it more interesting," he assure him. Castiel shrugged, climbing into the bed and settling on his back. Dean squeezed in beside him. "C'mon buddy," he grumbled, and Castiel turned on his side, letting Dean press in behind him and slip an arm around his waist. Cas closed his eyes, sighing as he felt Dean lean his head on his shoulder.   
      
    "Dean," he spoke plainly, placing his arm over Dean's.   
  
    "Mm?"   
  
    "You know... that I don't sleep, right?"  
  
    He could feel Dean's chuckle vibrate through him. It felt nice.   
  
    "Close your eyes."  
  
    Castiel obeyed, letting Dean pull him in tighter. They lay in silence in the dark for several long, beautiful moments. Just as Castiel was beginning to feel warm and content, Dean spoke.   
  
    "You know..." the hunter began quietly, his voice hesitant and gruff.  "You know you can trust me, right? Like I trust you."  
  
    Castiel felt a chill run through him and he swallowed.   
  
    "Yes, Dean," he answered. Dean continued.   
  
    "And you know that I'd die trying to protect you, right?"  
  
    Castiel was silent a moment. Dean made a sound to prompt him.   
  
    "As I would for you," the Angel told him. "But Dean," he said, quietly. "Don't you know that I want you to live for me? That I want you to live and be happy?"  
  
    The hair on the back of Cas’s neck bristled when he felt Dean's warm lips brush the exposed skin just above his collar.   
  
    "Why can it only be one of us, hm?" he heard the younger man ask gravely. "Why can't we both be happy? Why do we have to sacrifice ourselves?"  
  
    Castiel closed his eyes again.  
  
    "I don't know," he answered. "I just know that... I need you,"  
  
    Dean was motionless for such a long moment that Cas turned his head to see if he were still awake. Dean leaned up on his elbow, looking down into Castiel's upturned face.   
  
    "I need you, too," Dean told him. There was something in his tone that made Castiel's brows draw together, as if what he meant was something else instead. His eyes slid closed when Dean lowered his head, pressing his lips softly against the Angel's. Castiel kissed him back, the expression of affection becoming more deep and intimate until he could no longer comfortably keep his head turned at that angle.   
  
    We some difficulty, Castiel turned onto his back before rolling over to face Dean. The smirk that was on Dean's mouth was quickly covered by Castiel's lips, and they closed the distance between themselves. Dean pushed Castiel onto his back, sliding over to lay on top of him, nudging the Angel's thighs apart so that he could settle between them. Castiel slid his hands up Dean's back, pulling him closely as they kissed, moaning against Dean's mouth as the younger man's hips began to move in a slow imitation of what his body longed for. The Angel pressed back against him, causing Dean's hungry kisses to increase in intensity.   
  
    Castiel broke away to catch his breath, his head swimming from desire. Dean took the separation as an opportunity to move on to the older man's throat. Castiel spoke, his voice a harsh whisper in the darkness.  
      
    "Dean," he said, bringing a hand to the hunter's shoulder. "Dean?" Dean leaned back, his breathing heavy as he looked down at his companion. Castiel continued. "I want to undress,"  
  
    "No problem," Dean agreed whole-heartedly, setting back on his heels so Castiel could sit up. The Angel pulled the T-shirt over his head with Dean's assistance and the younger man tossed it onto the bedside table before helping remove the sleep pants. Once divested of his pajamas, Castiel brought his hand's to Dean's boxers, helping to get rid of those as well. Dean pulled the sheet back around them as Cas laid back, and Dean settled over him once again. "You okay with this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in question. Castiel nodded.   
  
    "It's my turn to return the favor, correct?" he asked, a slight smile on his lips.   
  
    "Good man," Dean replied, amused, capturing Cas's mouth once more. When Dean could no longer stand the wait, he reached off the bed to grab the bottle of lubricant from his bag beside the bed. He had a fleeting thought about the lack of sexiness, but when he turned back to the wide-eyed Angel watching him intently, the thought slipped away. He had to sit back on his heels again to pour the clear gel into his hand, but when he settled back over Castiel, he kissed him gently as he dropped his hand to spread the warm liquid over his erection. He moved his hand further down, dragging his fingers purposefully over the Angel's opening, spreading the gel. Castiel took a surprised intake of breath, his muscles tensing. "It's okay," Dean murmured against his ear, continuing to stroke the tight ring of muscle until Castiel's body relaxed again. Dean leaned his weight on his left forearm, looking down into Cas's face. The Angel's eyes were half-closed, his lips parted in awe as the younger man worked. Dean dropped his head and kissed Castiel's bottom lip. "You nervous?" he asked. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "No," he replied, a small moan punctuating his reply. "I trust you."  
  
    Dean smiled softly, leaning back down and this time Castiel returned the kiss. Dean felt the Angel's hand close tightly over his bicep, molding to the raised scar already there as Dean gently slid his finger past the tense muscle that seemed to tighten around the intrusion.   
  
    "Shh, shh, shh," Dean soothed, brushing his lips across the creases forming on the Angel's forehead. "Just relax,"  
      
    Cas nodded, letting out the breath he was holding and Dean could feel his body relax. Keeping a gentle pace, Dean used his fingers to get the older man unaccustomed to the sensation of being penetrated, going deeper each time, searching for that place inside that would set the Angel's nerves on fire. He didn't have to search long.   
  
    "Uh... um-" Castiel interrupted sharply, pushing his palms against the mattress, his thighs trembling.   
  
    'Bingo', Dean thought. He pushed his fingers past the taut, knot of nerves twice more, his erection twitching with want at every one of Castiel's exclamations of pleasure.   
  
    "Dean, I..I"  
  
    "I know," Dean assured him, pulling his hand back and stroking himself to keep the lubricant warm. "Just relax,"  
  
    Castiel nodded, dropping his head onto the pillow exhaling heavily as he felt the slick, swollen tip of Dean's shaft nudge at his entrance. He closed his eyes.   
  
    There was discomfort at first, and Castiel squeezed his eyes shut but tried to keep the rest of the muscles in his body loose. He could hear the long, low moan that escaped his companion as the length of his erection slowly slid in to the hilt. This, Dean told himself, was familiar territory. And it felt fucking fabulous. Castiel seemed to be warm in all the right places.   
  
    Leaning down to kiss his Angel, Dean began to move slowly and gently into the body beneath him, rolling his hips to drive into that place that set Castiel to moaning. It didn't take much time before Cas was moving back against him, matching his rhythm and allowing Dean to hit all the right places deep within. Castiel's breathing was the first to quicken, his hands closing over Dean's biceps, a desperate whine escaping him.   
  
    "Dean," he breathed, pulling back from the hunters mouth and tilting his head back against the pillow. "Dean,"  
  
    Dean increased the pace of his thrusts, turning his focus back to the Angel's exposed throat. Castiel was groaning now, his back bowing away from the bed.   
  
    "Dean," he said again, the word both an exclamation and a plea. Dean leaned up, taking Castiel's mouth, shortening his thrusts so he barely withdrew before driving into that spot that Castiel was begging for. A strangled sob escaped the Angel's lips and his body trembled with mounting pressure.   
  
    "C'mon buddy," Dean murmured through gritted teeth, pressing his forehead to Castiel's, trying to hold onto his own resolve as he waited for Cas to meet his end. "Just let go. I gotcha,"  
  
    Castiel cried out in surprise and relief, his muscles contracting almost painfully around Dean's erection. The rhythmic spasms around his shaft seductively pulled forth his own release and Dean collapsed against the Angel, sighing heavily with contented pleasure. They lay quietly together, recovering from the exertion. Cas grimaced as Dean withdrew, and the hunter pushed him back onto his side before spooning in behind him once again.   
  
    There was silence between them. Cas could feel the deep, even breathing behind him with the rise and fall of Dean's chest, and began to wonder if he were sleeping. The thought was confirmed as erroneous when the younger man tightened his arm around him and lay a soft kiss on his shoulder. Cas pulled Dean's arms tighter, tilting his head so Dean had more area with which to shower with affection. He could hear Dean yawn, and the young man tucked his head down against Cas's shoulder, getting comfortable. Castiel closed his eyes.   
  
    "Dean" he spoke quietly into the darkness. He heard a soft sound of acknowledgement answer him, so he continued. "... I love you... I think I always have."  
  
    Dean's hold on him grew tighter, and he wished they had been facing each other.         
  
    "Well then," Dean replied gruffly, keeping his face down turned. "I guess I'm not alone..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
    As the sun began to set, Sam was setting restlessly in his room, nothing on the TV or computer to occupy his time. He had went to Dean's room earlier to see if he wanted to hang out, but he could see through the blinds that a willowy girl with long dark, wavy hair was in the room with him. So, Sam returned to his room to wait, hoping that the girl wouldn't be there for too long. It was Dean, after all. Girls rarely, rarely spent the night; most were gone within an hour.   
  
    So, as evening neared and the local bars began to hit full swing, Sam made the trek down the front of the hotel to see if his brother wanted to knock back a couple pints with him. As he neared the room, he could see the blinds were now drawn and it appeared dark on the other side. He felt a stab of irritation that his brother would go out without him. But as he neared the window, there was a low golden light somewhere to the far side of the room. Sam couldn't see through the blinds, as they were closed nearly all the way, but still open enough to see bits and pieces and odd angles.   
  
    And he could see the bed... and the deliberate, sensual motion beneath the sheet.  
  
    Sam turned quickly, walking back toward his room. He no longer had any desire to go out. But he sure did want a drink.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You don’t have to hide this from me...I know what's going on,"  
> Dean felt his heart miss a beat and he swallowed with difficulty past the tense muscles in his throat. He tried to look nonchalant.  
> "Oh?"  
> Sam nodded, giving a sympathetic look.  
> "I mean, everything is fitting together now. I know who you keep meeting up with and..." he was hesitant before finishing. "and I know what you were doing last night,"  
> Dean gave a huff of incredulous laughter.  
> "You watch too much crappy detective TV, Sammy," he said with the shake of his head. Sam sighed.  
> "I saw you through the window,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI - smut ahead! And some fluff. 
> 
> Just a reminder - no one in Season 4 or beyond died. I can't think of anything else to add. I hope you like! It gets so much more fluffy after this point! (But no less smutty, I think...>_

    Dean slept peacefully, but didn't realize it until he slowly returned to consciousness. When he was with Cas, sleep was deep and calm and restful. He wasn't sure why - whether it was his touch, the comfort of sleeping so close to someone, or the whispered prayer he said over him  - but it was just another reason Dean didn’t question that this was love.  
  
    The sky outside was still a dark slate blue and the the hunter stretched, trying to keep to his side of the bed. It was then that he noticed that he was alone on the small mattress, and he turned looking around the room. Castiel was setting in a chair across from the bed. He was dressed in his slacks and dress shirt, his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands. His hair was damp, as though he had recently showered, and by the way the white cotton shirt stuck to his skin in places, he hadn't bothered completely drying off. Dean had nights like that, and they weren't good.  
  
    Dean slid from the bed, pulling his boxers back on before crossing to the Angel. He ran his hands over Castiel's hair as he kneeled before him, pulling the Angel's hands down from his face. Castiel looked tired and weary, and the deep shadow in his eyes pained Dean to look at - it was remorse.  
  
    "Cas?" he asked, calmly. The Angel dropped his gaze to the floor.  
  
    "I'm sorry Dean," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you,"  
  
    Dean shook his head, placing both knees on the floor.  
  
    "You didn't," he told the older man, trying his best to laugh. "I had a little too much river behind the dam, you know?"  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed and his head tilted slightly.  
  
    "You... what?"  
  
    Dean sighed.  
  
    "Forget it. What are you doing up?" he laughed again. "Do I kick or something?"  
  
    Cas's pained expression returned. He dropped his head, bringing his hands up over Dean's when the younger man placed his palms on the sides of his neck.  
  
    "I really had no intention of coming here to... fornicate with you," he said gravely. "I came to ask you something and I... I got distracted."  
  
    "I distracted you," Dean admitted. His next question was hesitant, his stomach aching at the thought. "Do you regret it?"  
  
    Castiel's expression became even more pained and he shook his head.  
  
    "Dean," he spoke, his voice rough. "I have never enjoyed being in another's presence as much as I have with you. You have shown me such consideration and... pleasure. I have no regrets... from being with you..."  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed and he sat back on his heels.  
  
    "What _do_ you regret, Cas?" he asked, grimly. "What have you done?"  
  
    "I haven't done anything," Castiel insisted. "It's just-"  
      
    Dean shook his head, bringing a hand up and affectionately ruffling Cas's damp hair.  
  
    "If you haven't done anything, then there is nothing else to say... Did you take a shower?" he asked, touselling the wavy, chestnut colored hair again. Cas nodded.  
  
    "You always talk about how a “good shower” helps you sleep and I... already felt damp..."  
  
    Dean gave as small snort of laughter as he stood and Castiel's eyes followed. Dean held out a hand to him. "Come back to bed."  
  
    Cas stared at the younger man a moment before obediently taking his outstretched hand and rising from his chair. Dean returned to the bed and pulled the sheet up over the damp spots still on the mattress as Cas once again stripped from his clothes.  
  
    "Get in," he directed, waiting until Castiel was laying back down before pulling the blanket over him. "I'll be right back."  
  
    The Angel watched Dean retreat to the bathroom and shut the door. He sighed, turning his head to face the ceiling. Dean would be angry if he knew what he was considering; be angry that Cas even considered striking up a bargain with the king of hell.  
  
    Cas looked back to the bathroom as the door opened and Dean strode back to the bed, lifting the blanket and sliding in beside him. The Angel turned onto his side to allow the younger man the space to sleep. A funny jolt pulsed through his belly when Dean wrapped and arm around him and slid his hand up along Cas's abdomen to rest on his chest. Castiel sighed, closing his eyes and letting the hunter hold him as he fell back to sleep.  
  
    Castiel wished he could sleep. Sometimes, it felt as though his vessel were very heavy and drained, especially at times of great emotional upheaval. Tonight certainly was one of those nights. Humans were lucky to have the option to close their eyes, let their bodies slip into unconsciousness, and free their brain to fantasize about a life less complicated. How nice it must feel to surrender to the darkness and let peace overcome you. If he could be human, sleep just may be his second favorite pastime.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    The buzz of Dean's cell phone woke him from sleep and he reached out toward the bedside table without opening his eyes. Picking up the phone, his lifted one lid just enough to locate the "answer" button before bringing the device to his ear.  
  
    "Yeah?" he answered, his voice quiet and somewhat croaky. The person on the other end gave a short laugh.  
  
    "You still asleep, Dean?" It was Sam. He sounded wide awake, ready to roll, and annoying.  
  
    "What tipped you off?" Dean grumbled, rubbing his tired eyes and turning to his side. He was expecting the bed to be empty, or to have Cas staring back at him. Dean’s eyes opened all the way at the sight before him. Castiel was laying on his side facing him, his eyes closed and slow, steady breaths raising in his chest. Dean was so shocked, he didn't hear the next thing Sam said. "Uh, what? Repeat that Sammy."  
  
    He could hear his brother's deep, exasperated breath.  
  
    "I said, it's almost nine. I'm going to come over and get you and we can visit that pancake house right off the highway. Sound good?"  
  
    "Uh..." Dean grimaced. He didn't want to blow off his brother, but he didn't want to wake Cas either. He knew that it wasn’t a great thing when Angel’s needed sleep. "Tell ya what," he replied. "Give me a half hour to wake up, take a shower, and get rid of last nights dinner, and I'll meet you at your room, huh?"  
  
    "Gross," Sam replied. "Sure. See you in thirty."  
  
    Dean hung up the phone, gently setting it down on the table and rolling over to face his companion. Castiel continued to sleep. Dean pondered for a moment if Cas was the type to wake up slow and steady like a disney princess, or to jerk awake like someone startled by a serial murder. He hoped it wasn't the latter. Gently, he reached out and brushed his fingertips across the Angel's cheek.  
  
    "Cas?" he spoke, watching the way the older man's eyes moved beneath his lids. Dean brushed the hair back off of his forehead. "Cas, buddy..."  
  
    Castiel's eyes snapped open, and he stared at Dean a moment as though he was not seeing him. Then his eyebrows drew together and he sat up.  
  
    "Was I..." he began, confused, blinking his tired eyes and licking his dry lips.  
  
    "Asleep?" Dean supplied with a shake of his head. "Like a baby."  
  
    Castiel looked down at his pillow as if his brain was having a hard time formulating how exactly that could have happened.  
  
    "I see..."  
  
    "Is that a bad thing?" Dean asked him. "Did you have someone else to visit in the middle of the night?"  
  
    Castiel's eyes grew wide.  
  
    "No." he replied seriously. "I just..." he blinked again, looking around. "It's daytime?"  
  
    Dean smirked, getting out of bed and walking to the sink. “It certainly is. And I see you’re not the morning type,” He started a pot of coffee from the small pot and complimentary coffee provided by the hotel. When he returned to the bed, Castiel was donning his overcoat.  
  
    "I have matters to attend to," he explained, adding in a slightly hesitant voice. "... I hope to see you later today,"  
  
    "Sure," Dean agreed, nodding. "You don't get into any trouble, ya hear?"  
  
    Castiel stared at him a moment before nodding. In a rush of sound, he was gone. Dean rubbed his neck wearily, turning back to the bed where his duffel bag lay. He wondered if he should have kissed Cas before he left. But certainly the Angel knew how he felt...As he leaned down to pick some clean clothes from within, the rushing sound once again filled the room. He turned, a grin on his face.  
  
    It faded.  
  
    "What do you want?" he asked the new arrival, quickly tossing the bottle of lubricant back into his bag and zipping it shut. Amariel shook her head.  
  
    "Human's only think about their anatomy, don't they?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked to the bed, with its rumbled sheets. Dean cleared his throat.  
  
    "What do you want?" he repeated. The angel frowned.  
  
    "I thought you cared enough about my brother to protect him," she scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. She tossed her dark, wavy hair over one shoulder, ignoring Dean's look of extreme irritation. "But, I guess I was wrong. Dean Winchester is too important to give any consideration to the Angel that pulled him from perdition, saved him countless times, runs to his beck and call, and prays to a father even _he_ is losing faith in - because it means something to him that you are safe."  
  
    "Hey," Dean warned, pointing a finger at her accusingly. "You don't know anything about me."  
  
    "I know enough," she replied. "I know that I warned you - told you of what would become of Castiel - and instead of helping him, you helped yourself."  
  
    Dean felt heat move up the back of his neck.  
  
    "What's wrong with Cas?" he asked, ignoring her comment. Amariel glared at him.  
  
    "Our brothers are fighting over who get's to seize control of Heaven and wage war on man. He is trying desperately to keep that war from Earth, all for the love of one man." she looked disdainfully on the hunter. "And while our older brothers may ignore Castiel, at least they listen to him before dismissing his feelings." The Angel held her arms out to her sides. "I would gladly help Castiel if he would listen to me, but he won't. And I would gladly help you if you could get him to listen to you. Please Dean," Dean stared into her deep blue eyes. "he needs to be put back on the right path."  
  
    "Cas is... up to something he shouldn't be?" he asked, hesitantly. Amariel nodded.  
  
    "Yes. You convince him to abandon the ideas being planted in his mind by others, and I will reward you twice over."  
  
    "I don't need gifts to help Cas," he replied, sourly. "So go; I'll find him."  
  
    As Dean reached for his phone, he could hear the atmosphere shift with the angel's departure. He hadn't even selected Castiel's number when the door opened.  
  
    "You ready?" Sam asked, pausing awkwardly inside the door, his eyes flitting to the rumpled mattress and the indentions in both pillows, before looking back to Dean. Dean ignored him. "Dean," Sam spoke, his voice quiet. The tone in his voice was what got Dean's attention. Same looked resigned. "You don’t have to hide this from me...I know what's going on,"  
  
    Dean felt his heart miss a beat and he swallowed with difficulty past the tense muscles in his throat. He tried to look nonchalant.  
  
    "Oh?"  
  
    Sam nodded, giving a sympathetic look.  
  
    "I mean, everything is fitting together now. I know who you keep meeting up with and..." he was hesitant before finishing. "and I know what you were doing last night,"  
  
    Dean gave a huff of incredulous laughter.  
  
    "You watch too much crappy detective TV, Sammy," he said with the shake of his head. Sam sighed.  
  
    "I saw you through the window,"  
  
    Dean felt his stomach clench and the heat rising up the back of his neck doubled and spread into his cheeks. He laughed, but he couldn't think of any witty retorts. He floundered for a moment before Sam relieved him of the need to speak.  
  
    "Dean..." he spoke, sighing heavily. "It's okay. Really... I understand,"  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed. He looked into his brothers eyes, surprised by the look of true acceptance he saw there.  
  
    "Really?" was all he could say. Sam smiled, crossing the room to his brother's side.  
  
    "Dean," he said. "I know we live a crazy life. I know that we may never have what everyone else has. But... if you're... you know... in love." Sam smiled at the blush that colored his older brother's face. "I think that's great! Keeping it secret is a little weird..."  
  
    "Really?" Dean asked, doubtfully. Sam made a grimacing smirk.  
  
    "Yeah,” he insisted. “I want you do be happy, Dean!"  
  
    Dean couldn't believe his ears. He shook his head, holding up a hand.  
  
    "Nothing about this is strange to you?" he asked. Sam considered the question.  
  
    "Well... yeah..." he admitted after a moment. Dean watched him intently. Sam sighed. "Well... I guess it's weird that you two are keeping it so secret... and it's really weird that someone would cross country chasing you," Dean raised an eyebrow, but his face fell when his brother finished. "And isn't that a lot of time she's leaving Ben with someone else?"  
  
    Dean closed his eyes, bringing a hand to his forehead and pressing against the rising pain of a headache.  
  
    "Sam," he said, his voice tired. Sam held up his hands.  
  
    "Dean, it's okay. We don't have to talk about it. I know you don't like "chick flick" moments," He smiled, laying a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Just... just don't get hurt. You know how our life is. Just... just know what you're getting into." he clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder once more. "Let's get breakfast."  
  
    Dean stood stationary, watching his brother leave the room. He sighed again, heavily, rubbing his hands against his face. So, Sam thought he was hooking up with Lisa - and he was happy for him. Happy for him and Lisa...  
  
    Yeah, at one time that was what he wanted. Maybe still did. Not Lisa so much, but... the life. Someone he loved, who loved him back. And Cas... well, Cas did love him and yeah, he loved Cas back. Sam was right though, their life didn't lend itself to that sort of future. So being with Cas, maybe that's the best he could hope for. Not that he was settling. Sure, Cas wasn't a women - he wasn't soft, or girl-sexy, and he would never fit the criteria of “busty”. He wasn’t never going to have that playful, flirty sexiness that he liked in a girl. He was never going to have a wedding or a home or kids. But did any of that matter... really?  
  
    Dean sighed, even thinking about it felt like he was digging on Cas, and that made him feel guilty. Cas was a great guy. He may not have any of those things he found hot in a woman, but he had things in his favor that Dean hadn't realized made him hot under the collar. Underneath that baggy trench coat, Cas had the body of an athlete - the warrior Angel that he was - and there was something sexy in the hard muscle and the cool flesh. And those eyes, the way he looked at him, it made his skin warm. And his touch, it was firm and gentle. But it wasn't just his appearance, his body - hell, if he thought too much about it, which he tried not too - what he was saying equated to his erotic desire for a Midwestern tax accountant with a irrational belief in the Lord. But Jimmy wasn't Cas. Cas... Cas had a different look in his eyes, deep down. Cas protected him, unconditionally. Cas loved him, unconditionally.  
  
    And Cas... the way he called Dean's name...  
  
    Dean let out a long breath, turning to the bathroom to throw on his clothes and wash up. He couldn’t believe that Sam thought something as outlandish as Lisa running around the country to have secret relations in crummy motels. The idea really reinforced how much his life was outside the norm, and probably wasn’t going to change.  
  
    He really hoped he did know what he was doing.  
  
~~~~~  
  
    Over breakfast, Dean tried to explain to Sam that he was way off the mark with the whole “Lisa” situation, but Sam just smile and nodded, giving him a condescending “Sure, Dean”. But Dean didn’t have time to worry about that. He couldn't keep what Amariel had told him out of his mind. If something was really going on with Cas, he'd have to bite the bullet and have a heart to heart with the Angel.  
  
    The thought kept him distracted for most of the day, and he had to fight to keep his mind on the road after he and Sam packed up their belongings and headed out of Duckwater. Sam had spotted an odd story on the internet that took them too many damn hours back east to Sinclair, Wyoming, and Dean dropped him at a Super 8 to start on his research. Sam had given him an annoyingly knowing look as Dean got back in the car with the excuse that he was going to drive around town to canvas for potential witnesses. It sounded lame even to him, but he needed to talk to Cas.  
  
    Dean drove just a short distance up the highway, finding a secluded bit of country, and taking the Impala off road down to a small, mossy lake. He parked the car, stepping outside and walking to the edge of the water. Heaving a sigh, he placed his hands in his pockets and turned his eyes to the sky.  
  
    "Cas, buddy..." he began. "I don't know if you're tuned in, but I need you... We need," he turned on the spot, his next words coming out slowly. "...to talk."  
  
    "Hello Dean," Castiel spoke. Dean could tell by the look on the Angel's face that he was tired, as if a night of sleep made him even more exhausted than he had been. Dean felt his heart ache a bit for the man. Why couldn't he catch a break - why couldn't any of them catch a break? Cas was a good guy. He was honest and well intentioned and caring. And Dean was going to protect him if it was the last thing he did.  
  
    Taking a step forward, Dean brought his hands to Cas's face. The Angel closed his eyes, letting Dean kiss him.  
  
    "Cas," Dean said, once he broke away. His face was as serious as his tone. "I know you've got something on the horizon that we both know that I ain't gonna be happy with, so why don't you just tell me what you have going on in that pretty little head of yours and we'll have us a discussion about it."  
  
    Castiel seemed to deflate a bit, and he leaned against the hood of the Impala. Dean settled at his side, listening in silence as Castiel poured out his heart about what had been happening in Heaven, how little power he had to stop it, and about Crowley's ever sweetening offers to help him find and consume the power of purgatory. Dean was stunned, to say the least.  
  
    "Are you serious, Cas?!" he demanded, his brow lined with frustration. "Crowley, Cas? _Crowley_?"  
  
    Castiel shifted uncomfortably.  
  
    "I didn't agree," he defended, but couldn't meet Dean's eyes. Dean scowled.  
  
    "But you were gonna, weren't you? Why would you even let Crowley talk to you? Why would you even have more than one conversation with him?" Dean gave a frustrated growl. “To the point you were letting him lead you around tours of Hell? Seriously, Cas?”  
  
    Castiel pushed away from the car, shaking his head.  
  
    "I have limited options Dean," he shot back, "Raphael is an archangel. He has four times my power and four times the followers. What do I have Dean?" he demanded. "What do I have?"  
  
    Dean's grim expression softened and he looked into Castiel’s blue eyes.  
  
    "You have me,"  
  
    Castiel's shoulders sagged and he turned his eyes away from the hunter. Dean slid off the hood of the car and moved toward the Angel. He grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing Castiel to look up into his face.  
  
    "Don't you ever think that you are goin' this alone, you hear me?" he told the Angel sternly. "You got me. I got your back. We're going to get through this together - without selling our souls, without making deals with the devil, without hiding from each other what is going on, got it?"  
  
    Castiel narrowed his eyes, looking deep into Dean's soul.  
  
    "Does that go for both of us?" he asked. Dean pursed his lips together. He took a deep breath through his nose, before sighing and nodding.  
  
    "Yeah,"  
  
    Castiel's expression softened, but he looked up at the sky, concern taking the place of shame.  
  
    "I don't know what I'm going to do Dean," he spoke. "I don't know how to convince my brother that what he's doing is wrong..."  
  
    "We'll get through it." Dean assured him.           
  
    Castiel looked a bit relieved, and he nodded.  
  
    "Thank you," he said, gratefully. "I don't know why you are so supportive of me, but I'm glad for it."  
  
    Dean felt his jaw tighten; every ounce of man in him telling him to keep his pie hole closed. But, he looked back into those trusting blue eyes and the words tumbled from his lips.  
  
    "You know I love you, Cas." he said, his voice catching, continuing in barely a whisper. "You gotta know that,"  
  
    Castiel's head tilted to the side and Dean could tell that those three simple words meant a lot to hear spoken out loud. The Angel swallowed, and the tension in his brow and jaw were visible as he stared back at the hunter. Slowly, he lifted his hands to Dean’s face, pulling him in for a kiss. Dean’s hands found Cas’s waist, and he slid his fingers over the sharp angles of the other man’s hips and around to the small of his back. The kiss was tender at first, but quickly escalated into something hungry and desperate. Castiel pulled back, his breathing heavy and his cheeks flushed.     
  
    "Can we get in the car?" he asked. A wide smirk spread across Dean's face and he gave a wag of his brows before turning to the Impala. Both men stripped of their outterwear before they settled in the back seat, tossing the coats into the passenger side of the front. Dean had a fleeting moment of wonder why Castiel could take him from zero to sixty in less than ten seconds. It had to be something more than just simple stimulus response.  
  
    They were kissing intensely once again, as if the other’s lips were more vital than air. Castiel's hands were roaming all over Dean’s body, giving Dean that sensation of strong yet gentle that he never experienced with anyone else. In the confined space of the car, Dean slipped his leg over Castiel's thighs, straddling him and involuntarily pressing down against the Angel's erection. Castiel groaned, pulling the younger man down against him, trying to ease the straining pressure beneath Dean's body. Dean leaned back, pulling Castiel's tie from around his neck and tossing it over his shoulder, his hands moving to undo the buttons on the white dress shirt. Once the expanse of the Angel's torso was exposed to him, Dean leaned in, savagely licking and sucking the flesh at his throat, dragging his teeth over the taut flesh.  
  
    Castiel let out a cry of shock from the unexpectedly erotic sensation.  
  
    "Dean," he breathed, grunting in response to Dean once against rolling his hips, now purposefully, into his groin. The younger man pulled his t-shirt over his head, laying it on the seat beside them. Dean’s eyes slid shut and he let out a low, steady breath as he reveled in the sensation of the Angel's fingertips pressing into his back, his cool lips and his warm tongue moving over Dean's chest.  
  
    Dean swallowed, reached down between them and undoing Cas's pants. Castiel raised his hips to assist, and Dean bowed his head and placed his hand on the ceiling, having learned from past mistakes. Cas's shaft was already rock hard and weeping for more attention. Dean closed his fingers around Castiel's cock, rubbing his thumb across the tip and spreading the warm liquid across the head. Castiel groaned again, louder this time, his mouth going slack and dropping his head back against the seat. Dean knew he couldn't rub him off without any lubricant, so he plucked up his courage and slid back onto the seat at his side. He heard the Angel whisper his name in question, but he didn't respond with words. Taking a deep breath, Dean lowered his head, dragging his tongue over the swollen head of Castiel's erection. The Angel made a deep, guttural sound and brought a hand up to Dean's shoulder.  
  
    Dean was surprised that the fluid that coated his tongue didn’t taste unpleasant. There was something sweet and earthy to it, like honeysuckle and raindrops. He licked again, this time swirling his tongue around the tip, picking up any fluid that remained. He could hear Castiel's ragged breaths, but the Angel practically groaned when Dean lowered his head further, taking Cas into his mouth.  
  
    "What-" Cas exclaimed, but his hips pressed up to thrust against the heat engulfing him. He looked down helplessly as Dean bobbed his head, bringing him to quickly closer to the edge. "Dean, I-"  
  
    Dean sat up and Castiel made a small sound of regret. Dean's lips kissed the sound away, and the scrape of his zipper was still loud over their panting breaths. When Cas realized Dean was pushing his jeans down his thighs, he reached out to help, peeling the denim away from the younger man's tight muscles. Once divested of the fabric, Dean was back in his lap, kissing the Angel breathless.  
  
    Dean wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to the idea of wanted a man inside of him; but he wanted Cas. Badly. And it was obvious Castiel felt the same.  
  
    "Dean," he spoke, his breathing heavy as he continued to move his hands over every inch of Dean's exposed flesh, as if committing the landscape to memory. "I want to feel you,"  
  
    Dean blushed hotly, nodding but unable to think of a verbal reply. He reached down into the floor of the car, tugging open the zipper on his bag and locating the odd pair of socks he had the small bottle of lubricant rolled up into. He shook the item free, snapping the cap and pouring the warm liquid out into his palm before tossing the bottle aside. In his haste, with Castiel running his hands lovingly over the hunter’s waist and making him practically vibrate with need, Dean feared he may not have poured out a proper amount. He just prayed it would be enough as he dropped his hand to stroke the clear gel over the Angel’s erection.    
  
    Castiel groaned at the sensation, slipping his arm around Dean and pulling him close. Dean shivered with anticipation and a bit of nervousness as the slick tip of Cas's shaft pressed against his entrance. Dean bit his lip, breathing steadily as he pressed back against Castiel's advance. It was more difficult without the help of alcohol and slightly lower inhibitions, but Dean moved his hips until he could find an angle that helped open himself to the rigid presence beneath him. Castiel was still gentle, but there was an insistence to his movements that made the younger man slightly nervous, and more than aroused.  
  
    Dean leaned his head back, a low moan issuing from his throat as he seated himself fully on Castiel's shaft. The Angel wrapped his arms around him, beginning to rock his hips, thrusting into the body above him. A huff of frustration fell from his lips, and he whispered the hunters name.  
  
    "Dean I," he began, the pink tinge of shame rising to his cheeks. "I can't... move like this."  
  
    "...Gotcha," With reluctance, Dean pulled away, moving the shirt from the seat beside Cas. "Scoot just a bit," he advised, and Cas gave him enough room to lay back on the seat at his side. Castiel was over him without further instruction, pushing back into the erotic comfort that was laid before him. Dean cried out, one hand grabbing on to the Angel's arm, the other pressing against the door at his head. Castiel's mouth found Dean’s, and he kissed him hungrily as he moved in and out of the younger man's body. Dean was surprised by the confidence in his movement; the quick, deep thrusts almost leaving his body before slamming into him again. It was jarring; it was overwhelming.  
  
    It was awesome.  
  
    "Cas!" Dean grunted, "Fuck-ah!" he pulled his lips away from the Angel's, unable to concentrate on kissing in the presence of such overwhelming sensation. Castiel had shifted his position, pounding against that spot inside of Dean that made up for the fact that he was letting a dude fuck him in the ass. Again.  
  
    Dean grabbed the Angel's hips, forcing him to keep his withdrawals short. "Uh, there!" he grunted, his jaw clenched. Cas was quick to catch on. He held on to the front seat for leverage, his thrusts getting shorter in length, but reaching deep to stroke the fire inside his companion. Dean squirmed beneath him, starting to feel a bit of burn where their bodies met, knowing he would regret this later but unable to stop the drive to finish.  
  
    "Please Cas," he hissed. "Faster,"  
  
    Castiel complied, grunting with effort as he fought to push Dean toward completion. Dean's hips jerked as he both chased and feared the sensation he knew would follow. Cas was focused on nothing but the sweet spot pulsing happily inside him and Dean swore, the pleasure mounting as he reached between them to take his own cock in hand. Just as before, he barely gave more than ten strokes to his own steely flesh before spilling his release up against Castiel's belly. Cas continued to move inside of him, and Dean could only lay there an moan. Only moments later, the Angel gave a sharp exhale of relief and Dean felt the sensation of warmth spread inside him.  
  
    Dean relaxed his head against the warm leather seat, keeping his arms tight around Castiel, whose face was buried against the crook of his neck. Castiel was still to the hilt inside him, and he didn’t move for several seconds.  
  
    “It’s okay, Cas,” Dean murmured against his hair, stroking the other man’s neck. Dean himself was feeling a little overwhelmed by the intensity, so he could only imagine what was on his friend’s mind. After a moment, Cas moaned softly, reaching down between them.  
  
    "Wait wait wait," Dean said, stopping him. He grabbed his T-shirt from the floor and handed it to Cas. "Just sort of... put this down." Castiel's brow furrowed, but he took the garment in his hand. Dean continued, embarrassed. "Just in case... keep the car clean."  
  
    The request sunk in and Castiel placed the shirt on the seat before pulling away from his companion. Dean signed, slinging an arm over his eyes as he felt the Angel use the soft cotton shirt to gently clean him up. Both men were quiet for a long stretch of time.  
  
    "That," Castiel began hesitantly, causing Dean to raise his arm to peer out. "Felt different... than the last time... Why?"  
  
    Dean sighed, shaking his head.  
  
    "Because sometime you do it to share emotions," he explained, his face hot from embarrassment. "...Like last time... And sometimes... you just do it for the physical release. To get off."  
  
    Castiel considered this.  
  
    "That sounds... selfish."  
  
    "It's not when it's what both people need," Dean sat up, pulling Castiel toward him and kissing him deeply. "Sometimes you just need to fuck your problems away. Just for a bit."  
  
    Castiel's eyes moved to the side as he thought about this. He turned back to Dean.  
  
    "The difference is mostly how... vigorously you perform the act, correct?"  
  
    Dean couldn't help but smile.  
  
    "Pretty much," he replied. "You appear to have a lot of problems right now. You needed a good lay."  
  
    "You're a _great_ lay, Dean," Castiel told him, earnestly. Dean smirked, amused by the Angel’s complete misunderstanding of what he just said.    
  
    "You're not too shabby either." he said, with a sigh. Dean gave a soft moan of contentment as Castiel gently stroked his hands down the younger man’s bare thighs.  
  
    “We’re never getting out of this field if you keep that up,” Dean warned. Castiel appeared thoughtful.  
  
    “How is that bad?” he asked. Dean frowned.  
  
    “Because Sam will be all up in my business if I’m too late,” he replied. “Hand me my jeans, would ya?”  
  
    Castiel grabbed the pair of jeans from the floor, handed them to Dean and the two men redressed in silence. Dean leaned over and gave the Angel and affectionate, supportive thump on the leg.  
  
    “It’s going to be okay, bud,” he assured him. A smile pulled at his lips as he tried to speak seriously. “But, if we gotta fuck it out a couple time for that to sink in, well... I’m willing to go that extra mile.”  
  
    Cas gave a huff of laughter, looking down at his hands folded in his lap.  
  
    “I appreciate the offer,” he replied, the levity leaving his voice. “... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I... I didn’t want you to have to deal with something else so big so soon after the last... I wanted to protect you.”  
  
    Dean’s hand absently rubbed Castiel’s thigh as he considered the Angel’s words.  
  
    “Well, we’re in this together, okay?” he said, not looking up at his friend. “We didn’t come this far to... to lose this now.”  
  
    He could feel Castiel looking at him, and there was suddenly something warm and tender between them, and Dean felt more exposed with the sudden swell of emotion than he did when he had his legs wrapped around the Angel’s hips. Castiel’s deep voice was quiet when he spoke.  
  
    “I don’t want to lose you, Dean,” he admitted. Dean nudged him with an elbow, self-conscious with the emotion, clearing his throat before he replied.  
  
    “Well, I think you’re pretty much... stuck with me,”  
  
    Castiel continued to stare at him, and Dean focused on their knees bumping together. After a tense moment, Castiel leaned in, bringing his hand to Dean’s jaw and placing tender kisses on his cheek. Dean wanted to ask him to stop - it felt too caring, too emotional - but he leaned in to the Angel instead of pulling away.  
  
    “I hope you truly don’t think I used your body as some sort of stress relief,” Cas spoke deeply against Dean’s ear. “I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude. My emotions were quite strong.”  
  
    “Your emotions got the job done,” Dean laughed lightly, but could still feel the warmth of a blush on his face. “But, consider this body yours, if you need it...”  
  
    “I do,” Castiel replied.  
  
~~~~~  
  
    Life on the road, while still wild with monsters and hauntings and other annoying supernatural phenomena, became a little easier for Dean to return to knowing Cas felt about him the way he did. For the most part, it was the same as ever: he and Sam traveling cross country, taking care of cases and throwing back beers together to celebrate a job well done. But now, there was the added comfort of - not just getting to hold someone at night - but feeling that there was someone he could give up some of the responsibility too, and to be held himself. He loved Sam more than he loved life, but there were just some things an older brother couldn’t burden a little brother with, no matter how much he respected the younger Winchester and his strength. That’s what older brothers did, they protected. So it was nice to have someone he could finally share the burden with.  
  
    And the routine they fell in to was just so easy. Most nights Dean spent hanging out with Sam, but at least twice a week Cas would visit Dean after the hunter had retired to his own room for the night and they would sit together, sharing conversation and occasionally a laugh. Castiel’s laugh was glorious and contagious, and his smile could cause Dean to grin like fool. If pressed, Dean would say he was happy. Sure, he and Cas would never have a normal life together, but what they did have was nice. It was hard not to wish every now and then that he could actually cook the Angel a meal, have a proper living space to sprawl out and watch TV together. But, these were really luxuries that he was okay with doing without, as long as he could have Cas at his side.    
  
    There was one odd thing about his relationship with Cas that he wasn’t expecting, and it was the surprising domesticity of it. And those little pangs of a “normal” life would crop up out of nowhere and he would laugh at himself, scoffing at the idea and push it back into the recess of his heart where it belonged with his other broken dreams. Cas was the new dream now; he just felt lucky to have what he had.  
  
    “We’re in Indianapolis,” Sam spoke from the passenger side of the Impala, pulling Dean from his thoughts.  
  
    “Hm?” Dean asked, turning to his brother. Sam shrugged, scrolling through information he was viewing on his phone as he repeated himself.  
  
    “We’re in Indianapolis,” he said. “We haven’t been in a while.”  
  
    “Guess not,” Dean agreed, his eyes scanning the traffic around him. “You want to stop for anything in particular?”  
  
    “Only if you do,” Sam replied, lightly. Dean gave a snort of laughter.  
  
    “What, like the zoo?” he asked. Sam shook his head.  
  
    “There is an amazing medical museum,” he pointed out. “Some really good historical sites.”  
  
    “You’re right,” Dean gasped, his hands closing on the steering wheel. “That sounds just like something I would want to go see...” he raised an eyebrow at Sam. The younger Winchester chuckled. “Or are you saying there may be a case?”  
  
    “No,” Sam answered, stowing his phone in his pocket. “Just wanting to know if you wanted to stop for the night... Hey,” he continued, abruptly. “I know you said you aren’t now, but do you ever talk to Lisa anymore?”  
  
    Dean’s brow furrowed and he glanced over at his brother.  
  
    “Lisa?” he asked. Sam nodded and Dean shrugged. “We email each other every now and then. I think the last time I heard from her was three months ago when she asked me if the estimate on her car repair was fair. It wasn’t, by the way. Dumb bastards just trying to take advantage of a girl.” he was quiet a moment before adding. “And Ben started little league. She sent a photo. Said he was getting some kind of wilderness badge this summer. Stuff like that.”  
  
    “You never told me that,” Sam said to him, a little surprised.  
  
    “Nothing to tell, really.” Dean replied.  
  
    Sam considered his brother’s words.  
  
    “It’s good that you keep in touch,” he said, casually. Dean grimaced from the odd comment, but didn’t respond. Sam was quiet a moment longer before speaking again. “We don’t have any leads if you want to just stop for the night.”  
  
    “Sounds good to me,” Dean agreed.  
  
    The brothers pulled up at a Texas-style barbecue joint near Monument Circle for dinner, and once with a menu in hand, Dean groaned about how starving he was. Sam watched him suspiciously as Dean eyed the menu. He wondered how much longer Dean was going to be keeping his secret from him. Because Sam knew his brother, and he knew he was hiding something.  
  
    Dean sighed, dropping the laminated menu on the table.  
  
    “I’m gonna hit the head, Sammy,” he said, rising from his seat. “Order me something quick.”  
  
    Sam nodded, watching the older man walk away. A waitress approached the table soon after Dean was gone.  
  
    “What can I get you, dear?” she asked, setting two glasses of iced water on the table.  
  
    “I’ll have the salmon salad,” Sam told her as she wrote the order. “And my brother will have the half slab of St. Louis ribs.”  
  
    “What sides with that?” she inquired.  
  
    “Um,” Sam’s eyes scanned the menu. “Potato salad and green beans.”  
  
    “You got it, sweetie,” she replied. “Be about fifteen minutes.”  
  
    Sam settled back in his chair, drumming his fingers on the top of the wooden table as he waited. It bothered him a little that Dean was hiding something, but he found it hard to be that disturbed when whatever it was seemed to be making Dean happy. Actually happy. So he was grateful, regardless. His duty as a little brother was to get to the bottom of it, though.  
  
    Dean returned to his seat a couple minutes later, dropping into the leather booth.  
  
    “Can you believe they don’t sell beer here?” he asked, disgusted. “What the hell?”  
  
    Sam shrugged, pushing Dean’s water glass closer to him.  
  
    “They have margaritas and wine,” he remarked. Dean grimaced, taking a drink from his glass. They didn’t talk much after that. Their food was delivered and they ate in silence, watching one of the overhead TV’s showing current sports news. Dean’s phone buzzed and something on the screen made the corner of his mouth turn up just ever so slightly, but he dismissed the message and pocketed the phone without responding. Sam’s eyes narrowed in interest, but he didn’t question.  
      
    Dean had a slice of blueberry pie for dessert, and seemed pleasantly content by the end of the meal. He stretched his arms above his head, sighing.  
  
    “I’m gonna go out and start the car if you want to get the bill,” he said to Sam. The younger man nodded, and Dean gave him a nod of appreciation and turned for the front of the store. Same waited in the small line to pay his tab, and walked out into the warm summer air, the parking lot already lit by the overhead lamps as the sun was sinking in the sky. He paused just outside the doors, spotting his brother across the lot standing beside the Impala. Dean had his phone to his ear, his hand in his pocket and he looking down at the pavement beneath his boots. It was the smile on Dean’s face that really gave Sam pause, but he continued walking. He was within ear shot of the conversation before Dean noticed him, but Sam only caught a few words before Dean looked up.  
  
    “See you soon... okay. Bye,”  
  
    “Who was that?” Sam asked, watching his brother disconnect the call and stow his phone in his pocket. Dean opened his mouth, but the answer wasn’t immediately forthcoming.  
  
    “Uh, it was ... Cas,” he replied, opening the door to the car and getting inside. Sam smirked, getting into the passenger’s seat.  
  
    “It was?” he asked. “Really?”  
  
    “Sure,” Dean replied, shrugging his shoulders and starting the engine. “Who else would it be?”  
  
    Sam frowned, watching his brother as the elder Winchester drove to the nearest inexpensive motel. When they parked, Sam spoke before Dean could leave the car.  
  
    “Why don’t we get a single room tonight,” he suggested, and Dean turned to him a little too quickly. “We can buy some beer, watch some pay per view. There’s supposed to be a good boxing match on tonight.”  
  
    “I dunno, Sam,” Dean sighed. “I kind of just want to get in bed...”  
  
    “You can watch from bed. It will be just like old times,” Sam replied. He felt bad doing this, but he felt that his brother’s reaction may just give him the final piece to the puzzle. “I mean, it’s not like we’re going out to a bar or anything, so there no chance that one of us is getting laid tonight.” Dean scoffed and grimaced as he considered the offer.  
  
    “Fine, Sam, whatever.” he agreed. “Sounds good.”  
  
    “Great,” Sam replied. “If you’re sure you’re okay with it,”  
  
    “I can sleep with you watching a game same as I can sleep anywhere,” Dean told him. “Just don’t get cheap beer.”  
  
    Sam agreed, and Dean went inside to book their room while Sam took the Impala on a beer run. Reluctantly, Dean took out his phone and dialed Cas’s number as he walked to the room he’d be sharing with Sam for the night. The Angel answered on the second ring.  
  
    “Hello Dean,” he greeted.  
  
    “Hey Cas,” Dean sighed. “Listen buddy, change of plans.”  
  
    “Oh?” Cas spoke, and Dean could almost see the narrow-eyed expression of concentration on his face. “Are you and Sam alright?”  
  
    “Yeah, fine,” Dean assured him, taking out his key and letting himself into the room. “Sam just wanted to spend some time with me, and I didn’t want to say no. He seemed really set on it.”  
  
    “Oh,” Cas spoke. “Well, I suppose I can sympathize with his desire to spend time with you,”  
  
    Dean gave a soft laugh, a grin spreading across his face.  
  
    “I’m a pretty popular guy,” he said. “So, do you mind taking a raincheck on tonight?” before the Angel had a chance to ask for a definition of “raincheck”, Dean continued. “Can we do tonight maybe some other day this week?”  
  
    “Of course,” Castiel replied.  
  
    Dean looked to his watch, before looking back at the closed hotel room door.  
  
    “Hey, you got about five minutes?” he asked his friend.  
  
    “I am available,” Cas told him. “What do you require?”  
  
    “Can you meet me at the Motel 6 on Shadeland Avenue? Indianapolis? Room 12.”  
  
    The words had just left his mouth when there was a soft wooshing of air and Castiel stood before him, phone still poised at his ear. Dean turned off his phone.  
  
    “Sorry about tonight,” he said, honestly. Castiel tucked his own phone down into the pocket of his coat, shaking his head.  
  
    “Don’t be,” he said. “Sam is very important to you. It’s necessary that you two spend time together.”  
  
    “Yeah, well...” Dean shrugged, stepping closer to the other man. “I do like hanging out with Sam. But... I mean...” he smiled, a bit shyly.  “I feel like we have some lost time to make up for.”  
  
    “I will always be here when you need me, Dean,” Castiel assured him. “We can spend our time together tomorrow, if you don’t find a case.”  
  
    Dean frowned slightly, his eyes traveling over the Angel’s handsome face. Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed to anyone. They, of all people, should know that.  
  
    “You have something to do tonight?” Dean asked, reaching out and nudging Castiel’s arm. The Angel nodded.  
  
    “There are infinite things to be accomplished,” he replied. Dean smirked.  
  
    “And you were going to spend the night bumming around with me?” he asked, incredulously. “When there is all this work to be done?”  
  
    Castiel gave a nod of assurance.  
  
    “I have nothing more important than you,” he told the young man, and Dean could feel the blush spread across his neck. “So when I’m not with you, it leaves plenty of to occupy my time. Just nothing as pleasurable.”  
  
    Dean scoffed, but reached out and cupped the Angel’s face in his hands.  
  
    “Pretty smooth, Cas,” he said softly, leaning in to kiss him. Castiel brought his hands to Dean’s waist, and they moved closer into the other’s space. They shared several soft, lingering kisses before Dean phone buzzed, and they pulled away with reluctance.  
  
    “Yeah?” Dean spoke into the phone, his eyes still on the Angel.  
  
    “What room are we in?” Sam asked him.  
  
    “12,” Dean told him. Castiel gave a small incline of his head in parting before disappearing. Dean turned to the door. “I’ll let you in.”  
  
    Sam grinned broadly at his brother, holding up the six pack of beer and walking in to the room when Dean opened the door for him.  
  
    “It’s cold,” he announced, taking one from the cardboard carrier and handing it to his brother before taking one for himself. placing the remainder in the fridge. “The fight starts at eight, so we have... just about nine minutes.”  
  
    “Cool,” Dean said, toeing off his shoes and pulling the flannel from his arms. He tossed the shirt over the end of one bed before twisting the top off of his beer, throwing the lid into the trash and settling onto the bed. Sam was standing in front of the television with the remote, programming the pay per view order.  
  
    “You think Cas would want to join us?” he asked in an off-hand way. Dean choked on the beer in his mouth, pressing the back of his hand to his lips to keep it from spilling. Sam turned to him, an amused expression on his face. “You okay?”  
  
    “Yeah, good,” Dean replied, wiping his mouth. “Down the wrong pipe. And no, I don’t think Cas will understand or enjoy boxing.”  
  
    Sam shrugged.  
  
    “I just thought since we were having a guys night, he’d want to hang out with us too.”  
  
    Dean grimaced.  
  
    “Are you still agonizing over the “lonely” comment I made three-hundred years ago?” he asked. He could tell by the kicked-puppy look on Sam’s face that this was an accurate assumption. “I’m sure he has more important angel things to take care of.”  
  
    “I’m sure he does to,” Sam told him, dropping down onto the other bed. “But wouldn’t it be nice for him to feel like he’s included in this?”  
  
    Dean stared at the younger Winchester for a moment. Did he really want temptation sitting feet away when he was in the same room with his brother? Sam took Dean’s reluctance for refusal.  
  
    “Oh come on, don’t be mean,” Sam told him, taking out his phone and tossing it to Dean. “Call him. Invite him over. It will be good for him.”  
  
    Dean picked up the phone, scrolling through the contacts and selecting the Angel’s. He wanted to close his eyes and sigh, but he thought Sam might find that reaction either odd or rude, so he simply placed the phone to his ear. After two rings, it connected.  
  
    “Hello Sam,”  
  
    Dean fought the desire to grin.  
  
    “Hey, Cas,” he spoke. “What are you up to?”  
  
    There was a short, confused silence on the other end.  
  
    “Dean?” Castiel asked. “Is everything alright?”  
  
    “Yep,” Dean replied. “Sam wanted me to ask you if you’d like to come over and watch a boxing match with us, maybe have a beer.”  
  
    Castiel was quiet again, and Dean wondered what he was thinking.  
  
    “Would you like me to join you?” he asked.  
  
    “Sure. It will be fun,” Dean told him. “Just don’t ask a lot of questions about the rules.”  
  
    “I won’t... if you’re sure this is okay,”  
  
    “It starts in two minutes,” Dean warned.  
          
    The curtains in the room billowed with the gust of wind from Castiel’s wings. Sam smiled warmly at the Angel.  
  
    “We’re glad you could make it,” he said. “Have a seat.”  
  
    Cas gave a nod in reply, accepting the beer Sam retrieved for him and sat in one of the chairs at the end of Dean’s bed. Sam stretched himself out across his bed, his head toward the end so he could watch the screen. Dean settled back on his mattress, fluffing the pillows at his back to rest comfortably against the headboard. He was in a perfect position to stare at Cas’s profile while appearing to be watching the TV.  
  
    It was an odd feeling, how quickly things could change. Dean wasn’t sure if it was because he had probably had a thing for Cas for longer than he had been willing to admit, but it sort of sucked to not be able to ask Cas to come sit beside him on the bed instead of way the fuck down there in a chair. But things hadn’t changed that much and Dean wasn’t ready to tell Sam. It wasn’t anything Sam needed to know yet, anyway. He had an imagine of Dean, and Dean wasn’t sure he would take the information. He couldn’t lose Sam, not when he just found Cas. Right now was good. It may not be perfect, but it was working. And Dean Winchester was used to making do with what he had.  
  
    Sam fell asleep before the winner of the match was announced and Dean pushed himself from his bed to gently pull his brother’s boots off and toss a blanket over him. Castiel watched him in silence, admiring Dean’s nurturing quality.  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow when he noticed the Angel was watching him, a smile on his face.    
  
    “What?” he whispered, picking up the empty beer bottles and taking them to the trash. He placed them gently in the bottom of the bin to keep the glass from clinking and disturbing Sam. Castiel shook his head, rising to his feet.  
  
    “That sporting event was interesting.” He spoke, his voice low. “Thank you for inviting me.”  
  
    Dean shrugged, pushing his hands down into his pockets as he moved to Cas’s side.  
  
    “Not the way I thought the evening was going to go,” he said with a small small. “But all things considered, not too bad,”  
  
    The two men stared at each other a moment, looking into each other’s eyes. In such close proximity, Dean felt his skin begin to grow warm and he licked his lips absently.  
  
    “You, um, have a safe flight home,” he smirked, giving a nod of his head toward the window. “Don’t fly recklessless. Wear a seat belt.”  
  
    Castiel’s mouth curved into a smile, and Dean’s own grin grew twice as wide. The Angel shook his head.  
  
    “Sleep well, Dean,” he replied. “I’ll see you tomorrow,”  
  
    “Gotcha,” Dean agreed.  
  
    They both acted without thinking, leaning in and pressing their lips together in a chaste, casual kiss. Dean’s eyes grew wide and he turned to look over his shoulder at where his brother lay sleeping, his breathing steady. Dean turned back to Cas, a grimace was on the other man’s face. Dean shrugged.  
  
    “Good night, Cas,” he spoke, reaching out and running a hand down the Angel’s arm. “See you tomorrow.”  
  
    Castiel gave a small nod in parting before disappearing in a soft rush of air. Dean sighed.  
  
    All things considered... not too bad a night at all.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After several more weeks on the road, Dean and Sam hit a dry spell on finding any leads that gave them a case to work. With nothing keeping them in any one town, they loaded the Impala and headed for Bobby's. They reached the salvage year near two am, but the old hunter was up to welcome them in and help bring their things in from the car. The three shared a beer together before Bobby sent Sam and Dean up to get some shut eye. It was an order.  
  
    When Dean finally woke, sunshine was pouring in through the window. He stretched out across the bed, yawning widely. It took him only a few seconds to realize he wasn't alone.  
  
    He sat bolt upright.  
  
    "Amariel," he greeted, but didn't sound pleased. "What are you doing here?"  
  
    The angel smiled at him, and he noticed for the first time how pretty she was without a scowl on her face. The vessel resembled Jimmy more than than Castiel, though.  
  
    "Castiel turned down the King of Hell's offer for assistance." she told him. "He has spoken with our brothers Gabriel, Joshua, and Balthazar and they are going with him to confront Raphael."  
  
    "Gabriel," Dean grimaced. "The trickster? And Balthazar..."  
  
    "They may not be the best of Angels," Amariel explained. "But they are devoted to Castiel. They can see he speaks of the importance of earth with new intensity now. Hopefully, Raphael will feel the same."  
  
    "No offense, but I'm not going to put my money on it," Dean told her. "Of all your brothers, Raphael seems like the biggest of dicks - well, aside from Lucifer, I mean."  
  
    Amariel's smile softened.  
  
    "I promised you rewards," she told him. "But I'm not sure what to gift you with..."  
  
    Dean shook his head, grimacing.  
  
    "I don't need anything," he told her, rising groggily to his feet and pushing a hand through his hair. She smiled brightly back at him.  
  
    "That is why it is so difficult to decide. I believe the sun is coming out on your journey, Dean Winchester. And while spring may bring its share of storms, I believe you have passed through the winter."  
  
    "What?" he asked. It was way too early in the morning for this cryptic angel shit. Amariel only smiled.  
  
    "I think I know what your gifts will be - but they will require preparations. Have a good day, Dean Winchester. May you always be watched over."  
  
    Before Dean could question her on what she meant, the angel was gone. With a heavy sigh, he crossed to the bathroom and relieved himself first thing, but didn't bother showering before pulling back on the clothes he had worn the day prior. He headed downstairs to the kitchen where Bobby and Sam were fixing breakfast.  
  
    "Well good morning Sleeping Beauty," Bobby said, turning away from the frying pan of bacon and cornmeal polenta just long enough to make the greeting. "What time did you finally fall asleep,"  
  
    "Not long after I turned in," Dean replied, taking the cup of coffee Sam handed him and adding just a splash of cream. "So.. three, I guess?" he looked to his watch. It was only 9:30.  
  
    "Well your idjit brother here has been up since the crack of dawn," Bobby told him, placing the skillet on low and laying a lid over it before turning to crack eggs into the second pan coming up to temperature on the range. "Scheming,"  
  
    "Not scheming," Sam defended, but was smiling. "I had a great idea."  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of the strong, bitter brew. The coffee warmed him.  
  
    "Well, I've been thinking -" Sam continued, with some of the old Sammy enthusiasm that Dean hadn't seen in a while. "It's not often that we hit a dry spell with monsters, so while we have the breathing room, and the 4th of July is coming up, why don't we have a barbecue?"  
  
    "Barbecue?" Dean repeated, letting the idea rattle around in his still waking brain.  
  
    "Yeah," Sam answered, looking to Bobby. "An actual 4th of July celebration. We'll get out the grill, watch some baseball, let off some fireworks. We can invite our friends. See if Ellen and Jo will come up. What do you say?"  
  
    "I dunno, Sammy," Dean spoke, looking past his brother to where Bobby stood at the stove. The older man shrugged, pulling the skillet from the fire and crossing to the table. He divided the eggs between their plates before going to get the second. Sam sighed, setting the plate of toast down in the middle of the table.  
  
    "I just thought it would be a good idea," he sighed. "But, whatever..."  
  
    Dean groaned, poking at his food before speaking.  
  
    "Fine," he gave in, Sam immediately perking up. "But you have to go buy the food. And make sure we get some huge fireworks. I'm talking huge!"  
  
    "Deal," Sam agreed, happily digging in to his breakfast. Bobby was giving Dean a sideways look and the young hunter shrugged.  
  
    "If I let him have his way once in a while, it keeps him content." Dean told him. Sam shook his head, but didn't respond. He didn't want his older brother to change his mind. Dean continued, hoping he sounded nonchalant. "Be sure to invite Cas. We don't want him cry babying about not being asked."  
  
    "No problem," Sam agreed. He got up from the table and retrieved a note pad and paper, returned to his seat and continued eating as he wrote. "I'll need to run into town. Can I borrow the Impala?"  
  
    "I think there are plenty of other cars you can borrow," Dean told him. Sam didn't seem to mind the rejection. He continued to write on his paper.  
  
    When Dean was done with his breakfast, he departed the room to shower and change. Bobby waited until he was out of ear shot before turning to Sam.  
  
    "What are you up to kid?" he asked. Sam smiled.  
  
    "Nothing," he said innocently.  
  
    "Scheming," Bobby responded. Sam grinned, leaning across the table.  
  
    "I think Dean is in a relationship," he told their mentor in a low tone. "He's been hooking up in almost every city we've been to the last month and a half."  
  
    "That just sounds like normal Dean," Bobby responded, pouring some maple syrup on to his plate. "What's news about that?"  
  
    Sam shook his head.  
  
    "I get the feeling it's the same woman every time," he replied. "This is a good thing Bobby, I can feel it. Dean's been more relaxed, he's sleeping better, he's drinking less..." he sighed. "I'm happy for him. And if I can give him one normal, family afternoon - I'm going to do it."  
  
    Bobby considered the young man's words. True, Dean did deserve a break. He'd been going full throttle since he was five years old. Sam had a point; maybe a laid back gathering was just what the doctor ordered.  
  
      
~~~~~~  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry," Dean said to them, tilting his head as if it would make more sense entering his ear at a new direction. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
>  "This little entanglement you have with our little brother," Balthazar clarified for him. Dean narrowed his eyes.  
>  "Are you seriously asking me my intentions toward a grown-ass man?" he asked, looking from one to the other. "Seriously?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy!

    Any time Sam could get Bobby alone, he would continue voicing his theory about how Lisa was the one Dean was secretly seeing. Bobby listened patiently, but didn't have any advice to add, except that he shouldn't meddle. Sam seemed thoroughly disinterested in any thought that he could be wrong. As the 4th drew closer, some of their hunter friends who lived nearby began to arrive. Ellen and Jo arrived just the day before.   
  
    "You boys look like you're doing alright," Ellen commented, hugging each in turn. "It should do you some good to have a bit of time to relax."  
  
    "I'm not really relaxed unless I'm ganking some monster, El," Dean told her. "You know that."  
  
    The group sat around talking and sharing tales at the dinner table. Sam kept his eyes on his brother, loving every second that the older man laughed, smiled, or seemed at ease. As the sun began to fall, Dean's interaction with the group was interrupted when his cell phone rang. He looked at the screen and excused himself, taking his bottle of beer and heading outside.   
  
    "Hey Cas," he greeted, an easy smile lighting his face. "I haven't seen you in a couple days. Would it kill you to learn to text?"  
  
    "I'm sorry Dean," the Angel replied. "We have been having very productive discussions with Raphael. At first, he acted as though he thought we came to take over with our combined numbers, but we convinced him that we only wanted to talk. To do what is best for Heaven and for Earth. It is very promising."  
  
    Dean smiled at the positive note in Castiel's deep voice.   
  
    "That's great, Cas," he told him, meandering through the junkyard as he spoke. "I hope he really listens. We're going to see you tomorrow though, right?"  
  
    "Yes, Dean." the Angel replied. "Although... I am apprehensive to be around so many hunters whom I do not know."  
  
    "Ah, they're good people." Dean to him, stopping to lean against a pile of half compacted cars. "They won't give you a hard time. Well, they'll give you a hard time, but they probably won't try to kill you." Dean smiled when he heard a hint of amusement in the Angel's voice.  
  
    "That's comforting,"  
  
    Both were silent a moment, and the realization sunk in to Dean how much he actually missed the literal, socially awkward Angel.   
  
    "What are you doing tonight?" he asked.  
  
    "I was going to stay in Heaven," Castiel replied. "I don't have anywhere else to go."  
  
    Dean grimaced, his brain trying to convince him that it wouldn't be a horrible idea to try and sneak a boy into his room in a houseful of people. He sighed.   
  
    "Well, don't raise too much Hell up there with your brothers," he advised. "I think Balthazar is a bad influence."  
  
    "He means well," Cas replied. Dean smiled, shaking his head. He could almost sense Castiel's hesitance before speaking again. "Dean..."  
  
    "Yeah?" the younger man asked. Castiel was quiet a moment longer.    
  
    "I... I was speaking with my brothers..." Dean's smile faded. He licked his lips nervously before taking a drink of beer.   
  
    "And?"  
  
    Cas took a deep breath.  
  
    "They have enlightened me on a few things,"  
  
    'Shit', Dean thought, digging the toe of his boot into the packed dirt beneath his feet as he waited for the axe to drop. "Yeah?"  
  
    "... Maybe this is something we should discuss in person," Castiel replied. "Are you alone?"  
  
    Dean looked around.  
  
    "Hold on,"   
  
    Dean jogged back to the house, lowering the phone and popping his head into the back door.   
  
    "I'm running down to the gas stop," he said, not giving anyone a chance to question him and not catching the “see what I mean”' look Sam turned on Bobby. He strode around the side of the house, pulling his keys from his pocket and getting in the Impala. He waited until he was out of sight of the house before answering the Angel. "Yeah, I'm alone. I'm at the corner, a block from Bobby's." The words were barely from his lips before Castiel was at his side. Dean felt his skin grow warm, but he closed his phone as did Castiel, and continued to drive until he was at the closest gas station. He parked in the corner of lot where there were no cars and the most privacy. "So," Dean said, turning slightly to look at his friend. "What did they say?"  
  
    Castiel's brow creased and he considered where to begin.  
  
    "First, they questioned my change in tactics concerning Raphael," he began, taking a breath. "And I told them that I felt empowered by your solidarity and affection,"  
  
    Dean gave a cheeky grin.  
  
    'That should have won me points,' he thought. By the grin and bravado faded with Castiel's next words.   
  
    "Then they questioned my faith in your profession to stand by me," he continued. "And I told them of my love for you, and your reciprocation, and that we had been physically intimate." Dean hung his head. "I have to say,” Cas told him, shaking his head in disbelief. “I was rather taken aback by how vocal and - _creative_ \- they were in their disparaging comments and desire to harm you,"  
  
    "Great," Dean sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair and over the back of his neck. "Was that the enlightening part?"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "No," he replied, his voice lowering. It seemed as though it was something he didn't want to say. It made Dean nervous. "After they calmed down, and asked me if I was sure about what we had done, they told me that..." he shifted his gaze to look at Dean. "That men like you do not find physical gratification with other men. That you find it abhorrent and repugnant. That you prefer females in every respect." he dropped his gaze, his voice sounding slightly sad as he finished. "I did not realize that it was such a deeply ingrained social convention..."  
  
    Dean scowled.   
  
    "That's bullshit, Cas," he growled, not sure which was making him more angry - that the other Angels were so narrow minded or that they would actually tell this to Castiel. The Angel's eyebrows raised in question. Dean shook his head. "Okay, yeah, I've always considered myself a heterosexual guy; I've only ever been with women. But I didn't fall in love with your junk, Cas. I fell in love with who you are on the inside. Balthazar and Gabriel are full of shit. And I don't know this Joshua well, but if he agrees with them, well he's full of shit too. I'm not a neanderthal. I can evolve."  
  
    Cas didn't respond right away. He worried the edge of the sleeve of his trenchcoat between his finger and thumb. Dean moved in closer, pulling his knee up onto the seat to turn more toward Cas.    
  
    "I didn't... have any undue influence on you, have I?" Castiel asked, reluctantly lifting his eyes to Dean’s "Because you know that I will always be here to protect and watch over you, even if you didn't return my affection."  
  
    "Cas," Dean frowned, shaking his head. "Don't listen them. They may know more about human beings than you do, but they don't know more about _me_. I've told one person in my life, other than you, that I love them," he raised a finger to illustrate his point. "And that was my mom. I'm not playing you Cas," he shook his head, the blush on his face not visible in the darkness of the car. He shifted uncomfortably. "... it would be impossible to fake what you do to me,"  
  
    Castiel turned his eyes down to the younger man's lap, before turning his gaze out the windshield. There was a forest bordering the parking lot, and he pondered it a moment before speaking.   
  
    "I miss your company," he began, softly. "When I am in Heaven."  
  
    "Yeah, well," Dean answered, rubbing the back of his neck again. "I miss you when you're not around, too."  
  
    Silence engulfed them again. Castiel was the one to break it.   
  
    "My brothers told me that our relationship is something that I cannot speak of with Sam or Bobby," Dean looked up at him as he continued. "And that I probably shouldn't allude to it with anyone else. That you want to hide it."  
  
    Dean groaned, dropping his head to the seat and closing his eyes. He didn't know what to say to the Angel. He wasn't even sure what their relationship was and where it was heading. Currently, all he knew was that thinking of Castiel caused a warm tidal wave in his belly and the sex was not only amazing, but emotionally satisfying. And ugh, to hear the Angel moan his name...  
  
    "Dean?"   
  
    Dean snapped out of his thoughts, turning back to Cas.   
  
    "I dunno, Cas," he said, "It's not that I'm trying to keep it a secret. It's just going to take some getting used to for them since I've never been in any sort of relationship with another dude. And besides..." he shrugged. "I like having something all to myself for a while."  
  
    One corner of Castiel's lips turned up in a shy smile. Dean wanted to cover it with his own mouth. He smiled, again moving a bit closer to the Angel. Castiel tilted his head to the side, watching the hunter. They stared at each other for a several long moments.   
  
    Neither was sure who leaned forward first, but neither cared when their lips met. Dean brought a hand to Cas's face, keeping him close so he could deepen their kiss. Castiel submitted, opening his mouth to Dean and letting the younger man coax his tongue to action.   
  
    "Dean," Castiel gasped, pulling away and shaking his head as if trying to dislodge a thought. "I can't - we can't do this."  
  
    "Why?" Dean asked, his eyes slightly glazed and his breathing already shallow. "Why?"  
  
    Castiel licked his lips, pulling his coat back over his shoulder where it belonged and trying to redo his tie; he wasn't even sure when it had become undone.   
  
    "Because you have guests and you have to get back to them."  
  
    Dean hung his head, frustration welling up in him. He didn't plan this damn get-together!  
  
    "Look," he suggested. "I'll tell them I had car trouble." He reached for Cas again, but the Angel caught his hand.   
  
    "I don't want you to lie for me Dean,"  
  
    The younger man gave an exasperated groan.  
  
    "Fine," he sighed, rubbing his palms against his thighs. He reached for the ignition, but Castiel's words made him pause for several reasons.   
  
    "It's not... that I don't want to," Cas told him. "And... you should probably purchase something or this trip will seem suspicious."  
  
    Dean gave another exasperated grunt before exiting the car and heading in to the store. Castiel waited quietly for his return. The younger man was only gone for a few minutes before he opened the door, sliding back into his seat and dropping a plastic sack on Castiel's lap. The Angel peered in to the bag, examining the items that it contained. There was a pack of beef jerky, a bottle of tequila, and bottle of headache medicine. Castiel looked up at Dean.  
  
    "Are you unwell?" he asked, concerned. Dean shook his head.   
  
    "Nope. I just needed an excuse to leave the house. The only thing Bobby keeps around for pain is more alcohol."  
  
    "I see," Castiel took a breath before turning to the hunter. "I guess this is good night, Dean," he said.   
  
    Dean tried to smile, but it came out tight.   
  
    "Good night Cas,"  
  
    Castiel set the bag aside, but before he could disappear, Dean spoke.   
  
    "Come visit me later, alright?" he asked. Castiel gave a soft smile, nodding his head.   
  
    "You have only to call,"  
  
    The Angel disappeared shortly after that, and Dean drove the Impala back to Bobby's to rejoin the group. Although he enjoyed the company, the time seemed to stretch on for an eternity. Dean used the purchase of the Excedrin to beg off early to sleep. When he got to his bedroom, he locked the door and pulled a chair beneath the handle. He turned back to the room and spoke to the air.   
  
    "Alright Cas," he said. "You said I had only to call so... I'm callin',"  
  
    There was the familiar rushing sound, and Dean turned to where Cas stood by the end of the bed. He was taken aback by the look of irritation and concern on the Angel's face.   
  
    "I did not agree to this Dean," he spoke quickly. "I'm so sorry,"  
  
    Dean's brows drew together in confusion, but he turned quickly and understood the Angel's manner.   
  
    "Hello Dean,"  
  
    The hunter frowned.  
  
    "Balthazar," he greeted, trying not to look over his shoulder at Cas. "Gabriel,"  
  
    "I didn't ask you to come here," Castiel spoke to his brothers, moving to Dean's side. "This is quite unnecessary."  
  
    Balthazar held up a hand, silencing the younger Angel.  
  
    "Thank you, Cassy," he spoke, never taking his eyes off Dean. "You can run along for a bit while we have a nice chat with Mr. Winchester here,"  
  
    Dean rolled his eyes, resting his hands on his hips as he glared at the unwelcome guests. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "I'm not leaving,"  
  
    Gabriel turned to him.  
  
    "Take a break Castiel," he said, smiling, but there was little humor in his expression.   
  
    "It's alright Cas," Dean told him, lifting a hand. "I got this."  
  
    Castiel looked from the young human, to his brothers, and back. His expression darkened and he sighed.   
  
    "Fine.” he told them sternly, “But I will return."  
  
    Dean felt a breeze on his neck as Castiel disappeared. He stared at the two Angels who remained.   
  
    "No shotguns?" he asked, sarcastically.   
  
    "Look Dean," Gabriel spoke first. "I like you-"  
  
    "I don't," Balthazar broke in, crossing his arms over his chest. "Cassy is naive, Winchester."   
  
    Dean frowned.   
  
    "He's like a thousand years old," he snapped, exasperated. Gabriel pointed to him.  
  
    "Yes, excellent point. He's young, too."  
  
    "What?!" Dean grimaced. Balthazar continued.   
  
    "How do you think this little tete'a'tete is going to end, hm?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're playing our little brother's heartstrings like a fiddle." Dean’s grimace deepened into a scowl. Gabriel broke in.  
  
    "We take exception to that," he said, pointing at the hunter.   
  
    "I'm sorry," Dean said to them, tilting his head as if it would make more sense entering his ear at a new direction. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
    "This little entanglement you have with our little brother," Balthazar clarified for him. Dean narrowed his eyes.   
  
    "Are you seriously asking me my intentions toward a grown-ass man?" he asked, looking from one to the other. "Seriously?"  
  
    "Listen," Gabriel began again. "I think you are missing the point here. Castiel is not exactly the most worldly of Angels." he explained. Balthazar frowned.   
  
    "He wears his sensitive heart on the sleeve of that dirty little trenchcoat of his. And while you two may have had an understanding in the past, we don't think either of you can comprehend the significance of the little understanding you have now."  
  
    "Significance?" Dean asked, watching Gabriel roll his eyes. "Cas told me that those human-angel relationships weren't really a bible crime."  
  
    Gabriel kicked back on the bed, crossing his ankles.   
  
    "Did you ever consider why it was such a no-no?" he inquired. Dean swallowed, looking uncomfortably from one angel to the other, trying to remember exactly what Cas had said.   
  
    "Because..." he began slowly. "men were... infant... jailbailt."  
  
    "Oh dear Father," Balthazar groaned. "Listen you flannel clad caveman," he pointed a finger into Dean's chest, and Dean resisted the urge to punch him in his face. "Angels will always outlive humans. You are bringing Castiel into something you can't possible finish. You are human. Human's want their human wants - house, car, 2.5 children and a dog. _Lives_. Castiel does not sleep, he does not age. And even if, by some stretch of the imagination, you manage not to dump our baby brother at the first sight of shiny human wants, he is going to outlive you. He is going to watch you shrivel and die." Dean could not ever remember seeing Balthazar so angry. He knew he should be pissed to be standing in his own home (sort of), being yelled at by a lazy, dandy of an Angel. But he understood their desire to protect their own. "And then where do you leave him? Wondering eternity with his grief."  
  
    Dean was quiet a moment, and he could feel Gabriel's eyes on him, waiting. Dean's voice was slightly dry when he spoke.  
  
    "Cas can sleep," he said. Balthazar grimaced.  
  
    "What?"  
  
    "Cas can sleep. He can do whatever he wants." he frowned, his irritation mounting. "Look, I don't know what you two want from me. But I'm not answering to you. I'm answering to Cas. So you can try to convince him to go with you to the Grey Havens all you want - but I'm in this." he pointed emphatically at the ground, his anger rising. "So you can try to intimidate me all you want. Go ahead. But until Cas tells me otherwise - I'm _in_."  
  
    Balthazar stared at him a moment, a look of utter disappointment on his face. He smirked.   
  
    "And here I thought you understood what it was to be a big brother," he shrugged. "I'm out,"  
  
    The tall angel disappeared, leaving Dean alone with the trickster. He turned slowly to where Gabriel still reclined on the bed.   
  
    "And?" Dean demanded. Gabriel raised his hands in a sign of surrender, pulling himself from the bed.   
  
    "Nothing. You've made your point, I leave you in peace," he stopped in front of Dean and looked up into his face. "But I'll leave you with this: at least think about what your putting Castiel through - especially since you have no idea what it is. And second, if you are so "in" and you claim to care about Cas..." he smirked. "Why haven't you told your family." he looked to the chair blocking entrance through the door. "Your conscience."  
  
    Dean scowled. How the hell was he supposed to come out and tell Sam and Bobby that he was... coming out? He grimaced then, as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. It wasn’t as if he were seeing just anyone - it was Cas. And everyone liked Cas alright...  
  
    He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, the heavy sigh he let out almost masking the sound of an Angel re-entering the room. He turned, his heart stilling at the site of his guardian. Cas looked repentant.   
  
    "I'm sorry Dean," he spoke. Deans anger and frustration begin to slip away as he looked into the Angel's face.   
  
    "It's not your fault that your family's crazy," he replied with a smile. Castiel nodded. "But let's not talk about that. I'm tired. I just want to go to bed."  
  
    Castiel stood awkwardly, watching Dean begin to undress. He spoke with hesitance.   
  
    "Do you... want me to go then?"  
  
    Dean paused, his shirt half raised. He frowned.   
  
    "No," he told him. "I want you to get your clothes off and get in beside me. Objections?"  
  
    Castiel shook his head, slipping out of his coat and jacket, before removing the rest of his things down to his boxers. He folded the clothing neatly and stacked them on a chair. Dean moved into the small attached bathroom, washing up for the night. The two didn’t speak.   
  
    Dean turned off the lights and moved to the bed, pulling back the sheet and blanket before sliding underneath. Cas lay down beside him, watching him in the darkness. Dean took a deep breath.   
  
    "Good night, Cas," he said, having every intension of leaving it at that. Of closing his eyes and falling asleep. Castiel's rough voice was soft when he spoke.   
  
    "Good night, Dean,"  
  
    The Angel turned on his side to face the young human, and Dean moved closer, wrapping his arms around Castiel and kissing his forehead. Cas smiled softly, returning the act of affection by brushing his lips against the other man's mouth. Dean closed his eyes, leaning forward to catch Cas's mouth again before the Angel could pull away. Castiel made a small sound of uncertainly, but slid his arm around the hunter and let Dean pull him in.   
  
    "Dean," Cas whispered, placing a hand on the back of Dean's head as the younger man trailed warm kisses down his throat. "Dean we... we should probably exercise a bit of self con... control."  
  
    "Right," Dean agreed, sighing as he settled slightly back from the Angel. He was quiet a moment before continuing. "But... I've learned over the course of my life that when you have something good, you enjoy it." his fingertips trailed over Castiel's jaw. "Because you never know when it's gonna be taken away..."  
  
    Castiel stared back into Dean's eyes, the light from the moon filtering in through the dark curtains was bright enough for them to just make out each other's features. Dean was right. Good things were to be cherished, to be enjoyed. He expressed his consent by leaning in again, pressing his mouth to Dean's.   
  
    "But, if you don't want to," Dean murmured, feeling a slight pang of guilt that his words unnecessarily influenced the other man.   
  
    "I do," Cas replied, kissing Dean again. "I do."  
  
    Dean chuckled, rolling over and pinning the Angel beneath him.   
  
    "I can tell," he spoke.  
  
    He couldn't see the Angel flush, and Castiel's first moan was swallowed by Dean's next kiss. Castiel shifted his legs, placing his feet flat on the mattress and letting Dean settle as close as he could. They kissed each other deeply, their slow, deliberate movements the antithesis of their frantic pace of the previous encounter. Dean could swear they spent more time on the foreplay that he had in most of the complete acts he had ever done with anyone before. Their was something about Cas that was different. Or maybe what was different was the way he felt about him.   
  
    "Sorry," Dean whispered, kissing Castiel quickly on the mouth before pushing himself up and getting out of bed. Castiel watched him move through the darkness; he felt dazed, his breathing heavy.   
  
    "What's wrong?" he asked, watching the young hunter kneel over his duffel bag and pick through the clothing. Dean shook his head to indicate nothing, pulling a rolled up pair of socks from the bag and unwrapping the bottle that it contained.   
  
    He returned to the bedside, stripping out of his boxers before sliding back beneath the sheet. Castiel followed his lead, ditching the last garment he wore before Dean resumed his place above him. Dean fell back into kissing the Angel, taking comfort in the feel and taste of him. He had a momentary epiphany of where the word 'sensual' came from.  
  
    "You alright with this?" Dean whispered, reaching between them and smoothing a palmful of warm gel over his erection. Castiel nodded.   
  
    "You don't have to ask that ever time," he told him, "I crave your touch,"  
  
    Dean groaned softly, pressing his lips to Castiel's and pushing slowly into his body. Cas was relaxed and ready for what was to happen this time, and he kissed Dean back with equal desire and passion as the younger man filled him. Dean moved slowly, building a steady rhythm, lulling the Angel slowly toward the summit of pleasure. He leaned up, resting his weight on his forearms, looking down into Castiel's half closed eyes. The Angel's face was the picture of contentment, his lips slightly parted and small sounds of gratification carried on each breath. Dean dropped his head and kissed him, before leaning back up to look down into Castiel’s eyes.   
  
    "...I do love you, Cas," he admitted, his voice husky with emotion. The Angel smiled, nodding.   
  
    "I love you too, Dean," he returned. He knew that Dean must be feeling a myriad of emotions after being confronted by his brothers, but he was relieved that their efforts hadn't scared him away, or deterred him from having with him what they could have today - even if the future held other plans.   
  
    The two continued to move together, slowly letting the waves of pleasure swell, trying to be as quiet as they could in the house that now sounded as though it were abandoned. Castiel was the first to reach completion, and he placed gentle kisses on Dean's throat, running his hands along the younger man's back until Dean thrust into him a final time. Dean didn't move immediately, kissing the Angel slowly until their heartbeats began to decline.   
  
    Dean pulled away, laying close to Cas's side as sleep began to pull him into darkness, feeling protected by Cas’s whispered prayer. Castiel watched him fall unconscious, envying the surrender to utter exhaustion. He had done it before, but he wasn't sure what the secret was. He closed his eyes, turning to curl close to the younger man, and Dean slipped his arms around him even in sleep. Castiel had a fleeting thought, wondering how long he had to pretend to be asleep before it would happen. But before he knew it, he was out.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
    He wasn't sure if it was the sunrise filtering through the window or the smell of coffee winding it's the way through the house that woke him, but Dean stretched out across the bed, groaning in deep satisfaction as his muscles lengthened. He turned to look at his companion, still sleeping soundly at this side.   
  
    A smile came to his face without conscious thought as his eyes moved over Castiel's face. The Angel looked more peaceful in sleep than Dean had ever seen him. The lines that seemed permanently etched across his forehead were smooth; he seemed at peace.   
  
    Dean put his arms around the older man, pulling him in close and resting his chin on the top of his head. Castiel moaned as sleep began to fall from him and he buried his face against the warmth of Dean's chest.   
  
    "Rise and shine, buddy," Dean sighed, giving the Angel a pat on the back.   
  
    There was a knock on the door and both men seemed to freeze.  
  
    "You up, Dean?" Sam called through the door. "Ellen's making French toast. You're gonna miss out."  
  
    "Uh.. I'll be down later," Dean called back. "I'm... I want to take a shower first. I'll be down."  
  
    "Alright," Sam replied, and they could hear his voice getting fainter as he moved away. "But there's a lot of people here who wouldn't mind having your share..."  
  
    Dean turned back to Castiel with a smirk. The Angel shrugged.   
  
    "I should probably go," Cas said, reluctantly pulling himself from Dean's embrace.   
  
    "You gotta come back though, got it?" Dean told him, sitting up and leaning back against the wall, taking the opportunity to admire the Angel's lean, bare muscles as he dressed. "Sam will be hurt if you don't show."  
  
    "I will be here," Castiel assured him. "What time?" Dean shrugged.   
  
    "Noon-ish?" he said. Cas nodded.   
  
    "I'll be here at twelve."  
  
    When the Angel disappeared, Dean sighed and settled back against the pillows. He thought about the events of the previous night. He had to admit, he had had many, many women in his time - even a few that he liked quite a bit - but few came close to rocking his world the way Cas did the last two times. Not that the first times weren't amazing in their own right, but the last two...  
  
    Dean got to his feet and made a beeline for the shower, standing beneath the cool spray and washing himself quickly from head to foot. When he got his body under control, he dressed and headed downstairs to join the group. Breakfast was a lively occasion, everyone sharing jokes and stories of past hunts. Even after the meal was finished, they sat around the table, talking about the highlights of their job. Close to 11:30, there was a knock at the door. Dean went to answer.  
  
    Once he pulled the door open, his heart stilled and he stared at the person on the front step.  
  
    "Lisa," he said, shifting uncomfortably. The woman smiled at him, but she too seemed slightly uneasy. "What... what are you doing here?"  
  
    Lisa pushed her long, brown hair off of her shoulder.   
  
    "Sam invited me," she told him. "He emailed me and said you told him I’d been in the area. He said... he said that it would mean a lot to you if I stopped by..."  
  
    Dean stammered for a moment, inwardly cursing his little brother.   
  
    "Of course, that's... that's great," he said, motioning her inside. "But, this is a long way form home, isn't it? Don't you want to spend the 4th with Ben?"   
  
    "Ben's at a summer wilderness camp until next Friday, remember? So... here I am." She gave an uneasy grin. “Didn’t you get my email?”  
  
    Dean grimaced unconsciously, giving an apologetic grimace.   
  
    "I... I haven’t checked it in a while.”  
  
    Lisa laughed softly, shaking her head.   
  
    “That explains why you didn’t reply,” she said. Dean gave a half-hearted chuckle.   
  
    “Sorry about that. But it’s great to see you!... It’s great," he said again, leaning down to give her a hug. "Um, here... come in," he lead the young woman through the house and out the back door where the group had since retreated as Bobby and Sam prepped the grill. "Hey Sammy," Dean called, his voice slightly tight through his clenched jaw. "Look who's here,"  
  
    "Lisa!" Sam smiled, looking up. "I'm glad you made it!"  
  
    "Hi Sam," she returned with a wave. "Thank you for the invite."  
  
    Sam jogged over to them, giving the woman a one-armed hug.   
  
    "No trouble. Thanks for coming.” he was beaming happily. “Do you want a beer or anything?"   
  
    "Yeah, thanks," she replied. Sam smiled at them both and moved off toward the kitchen. Dean took Lisa around the group, introducing her. Once he had a moment to get away, he grabbed Sam and pulled him into the house.  
  
    "What were you thinking?" he hissed. Sam looked surprised by his brother's anger.   
  
    "What?" he replied, his smile gone. "I thought you'd be happy."  
  
    Dean pursed his lips, trying not to raise his voice when he spoke again.   
  
    "I told you that this thing you think I have with Lisa is not what you think,"  
  
    Sam gave him an incredulous look.  
  
    "I still want you to have a good time today," he said, trying to maintain peace. "Please."  
      
    Dean opened his mouth to speak again, but they were interrupted from further discussion when Jo entered the room.   
  
    "Your angel is here," she spoke as she approached them. She gestured behind herself, and Sam and Dean followed her motion to the new arrival. Sam smiled and Dean's anger abated, being quickly replaced by a mixture of joy and unease.   
  
    "Hello Sam," Castiel greeted, turning from one Winchester to the other. "Hello Dean,"  
  
    "Hey Cas!" Sam said happily. "Thanks for coming. You didn't have to bring anything," he relieved the Angel of the brown paper bag he carried, looking down inside of it. Castiel explained.   
  
    "I did not want to repay your hospitality with nothing," he said. "But, it's not much."  
  
    "Well this ought to put you in a better mood, Dean," Sam said with a grin. "It's pie."  
  
    "Pie," Dean repeated with interest, peering down into the sack. There was at least three boxes of the pie from the same place Cas had gotten it last time. He turned to the Angel. "Thanks Cas,"  
  
    "It was nothing," he assured, looking from the men to the young blonde. Dean stepped forward.   
  
    “You remember Jo," he commented. "From our little adventure where Satan tried to kill us all."  
  
    Jo laughed at the comment, giving Cas a thump on the arm.  
  
    "Good to see you again, Castiel," she said. "I’m sure I look much prettier without trying to hold my guts in, right?" Castiel took her hand.   
  
    "You do look much healthier, yes," he told her, causing the other three to laugh. "I still thank the power of Heaven that I was able to find and heal you in time."   
  
    "You and me both, brother," she chuckled. "Here, let me take your coat."  
  
    Castiel looked alarmed as she pulled at the garment. Sam and Dean seemed just as taken aback.  
  
    "Really, there is no need-"  
      
    "Come one, say a while," Jo entreated, yanking the heavy fabric of both his trenchcoat and suit jacket from his arms in one motion. "Hm, Angel's dress pretty sharp." She commented. Castiel looked down at his dark suit.   
  
    "This is my vessel's," he explained. Jo grimaced.   
  
    "What?"  
  
    "C'mon Cas," Dean said quickly to him. "Let me get you a drink,"  
  
    Cas nodded, following Dean (who had commandeered the pie) to the kitchen.   
  
    "I feel exposed," Castiel grumbled to the younger man, looking down at himself.   
  
    "You look fine," Dean spoke quietly, taking the boxes from the paper bag. He let out a low whistle as he observed the desserts. "Oh Cas," he began. "You've outdone yourself." There was another of the original apple pies, but the second was a sumptuous looking black raspberry, and the third was a thick custard and cream. "Thank you,"  
  
    "You're welcome," Castiel said, trying not to smile at Dean's look of rapture.   
  
    "Hey Cas," Sam interrupted, coming into the kitchen. "Let me introduce you to the gang. C'mon,"  
  
    With reluctance, Castiel left Dean’s side and followed the younger Winchester out into the yard. Dean continued to stare at the pie, his thoughts on one track until he realized who was in the yard. He turned for the door.   
  
    By the time Dean hit the porch, Sam was already speaking to Lisa. He could see her smile at the Angel and the two shook hands. With dread, Dean could see Cas's shoulder's become rigid.   
  
    "I think 'girlfriend' is a bit of a stretch," Lisa said, after Sam's introduction of her as 'a former girlfriend of Dean's'. "We're friends, but I don't think our relationship could ever have been classified as boyfriend/girlfriend." Castiel narrowed his eyes.  
  
    "It was just a sexual relationship then?" he asked. Sam spoke quickly, panicked by Lisa's stunned expression.  
  
    "Cas is an Angel, Lisa," He explained. "He doesn't really get all of the human nuances yet."  
  
    "An Angel?" she questioned, her eyes moving quickly over his form. "Like... from Heaven?"  
  
    "Yes," he answered. "I am a Angel of the Heavenly Host. I am a soldier of God."  
  
    "Wow," she replied, her eyes wide as they once again swept over the Angel’s form. "You... you look different that I expected."  
  
    "My vessel is human," he replied. "You would not be able to look upon my true form without burning your eyes,"  
  
    "Well, anyway," Sam broke in. "Let's meet everyone else, Cas,"  
  
    "It was nice meeting you," he said to Lisa as Sam pulled him away.  
  
    "Geez Cas," Sam sighed, leading the Angel back toward the house. "Try not to freak Lisa out. She's very important to Dean."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed and he looked back over his shoulder at the slender, young woman.   
  
    "How so?"  
  
    Sam stopped, looking back at her as well. A small smile turned his lips.   
  
    "I think she might be 'the one'," he explained. Castiel repeated him.  
  
    "The one?" he said, an awkward feeling a unease rising in his chest.   
  
    Sam nodded.   
  
    "Dean can't be expected to be a hunter forever. He'll want to settle down, have a wife, kids - you know," he sighed. “I want that for him to, don’t you? A normal life.” Sam shook his head sadly, looking back to where Lisa was now speaking with Ellen. “Dean is my best friend and he’s done so much for me... I just want him to finally get some sort of reward. The life I know he was meant for. Being someone’s dad... not just mine.”  
  
    "Children," Castiel said quietly, looking back out into the yard.   
  
    "Yeah, so...” Sam continued, perking back up.  “Just be nice, please? Don't... don't mention the bible or anything. Here," he pulled a bottle of beer from the cooler on the back porch. "Take it easy. Enjoy yourself."  
  
    Castiel looked down at the drink, staring at the bubbles slowly rising up the side of the glass. He was pulled from his own thoughts when a voice close to him spoke.  
  
    "What's on your mind, Cas?"  
  
    He looked up at Dean, shaking his head.   
  
    "Nothing," he answered, opening the beer and taking a drink. "I'm just... trying to fit in here."  
  
    Dean frowned.   
  
    "You fit in, Cas," he said. He wanted to pat him on the back, rub a hand down his arm... to do _something_. "Just relax. Be yourself. Just try." Dean gave a small grin, tilting his head to catch the Angel’s eye. “For me, hm?”  
  
    Castiel nodded, giving a half-hearted smile.  
  
    “Of course,” he replied. Dean smiled in reply, and Cas took another drink as he watched Dean walk away. Castiel turned back, watching Lisa a moment before moving across the lawn to where she stood. She smiled at him, a bit nervously.  
  
    "I apologize for my bluntness," he spoke to her, sincerity in his tone. "As Sam said, I have little exposure to human beings. It was my duty to watch over them, not to... walk among them."  
  
    Lisa tilted her head to the side.   
  
    " _Was_ your duty?" she asked. Castiel gave a slight shrug.  
  
    "My duties were modified to be more... focused," he explained. "It's a very long story,"  
  
    Lisa smiled, nodding.   
  
    "Well, I'm glad Dean has an Angel on his side," she told him. "He's a good guy and he's been through a lot. He deserves someone looking out for him."  
  
    "Yes," Castiel agreed. "He has been through much, as you know..." he paused slightly before continuing. "Did you get to spend much time with Dean?"  
  
    Lisa shook her head, blushing slightly.   
  
    "Not really," she replied. "We met about ten years ago, spent a weekend together... then recently, we met back up when I found out what Dean really does for a living," she gave an amused laugh. "And now I'm talking to an Angel,"  
  
    Dean turned from the hunter he was speaking with, a lump rising in his throat as he looked out across the lawn where Lisa and Castiel stood chatting. Cas's back was turned to him so he couldn't see his face, but Lisa was smiling and laughing. She even reached out once and touched Cas on the arm. Dean couldn't imagine what they were talking about. His ex-lover and his new one... he wasn't comfortable with them getting friendly. He found it odd as he looked at Lisa - she was stunning, as beautiful as she ever was; everything he always looked for in a woman. But standing beside her, the tall, lean Angel was the one that made his heart beat a little faster. He'd been with both of them, and while Lisa really got his motor running once upon a time, Castiel made him feel things that he never imagined he could feel, and crave something he had always imagined to be tantamount to torture.  
  
    As he continued to watch them, he was oblivious to who was watching him.   
  
    "This is great, eh Bobby?" Sam spoke in a low tone, handing the older man a beer since he was busy tending the grill. "Everyone together, having a great time."  
  
    "It's a nice change," Bobby agreed, turning the burgers, sausages, and vegetable skewers. "But I think you're meddlin' in things you shouldn't be."  
  
    Sam smiled broadly.   
  
    "I'm not meddling." he explained. "I'm only facilitating what is already there. I mean, look Bobby," he said, giving a nod of his head toward his brother. "Look at his expression. Can't you see it?"  
  
    Bobby looked up at Dean before following his eyeline across the yard.   
  
    "Yeah, I see it." he replied. "But, I think you need to let Dean work out the way he wants to do this. You can't force him into things. You know your brother."  
  
    Sam sighed. He knew Bobby was right, but after these last several years, he was tired of seeing his brother miserable. And he hadn't seem him looking so well as he had over the last couple months. He wanted him happy.   
  
    It wasn't long before Bobby rang the supper bell and everyone gathered at the long table set out in the yard. Castiel sat on the opposite side of the table from Dean, thinking it would be best if they didn't spend too much time together in front of others. He was still feeling uncomfortable; trying to work out exactly what he felt about the information that Sam wanted his brother to settle down with Lisa. He was even more confused by the fact that he couldn't find any fault with her. She had a kind and gentle soul, and seemed to genuinely care for Dean.  
  
    At least they were serving beef. He did enjoy that.   
  
    Dean looked across the table to the Angel, and he fought the smile that came to his lips. The memory of Castiel's obsession with hamburger was funny, now that the danger of the situation was in his past. He tried not to ignore those around him in favor of looking over at Cas, and he had to consciously remind himself not to be too obvious.   
  
    Once dinner was completed and cleared, Dean enjoyed - more than was completely decent - the pie that Cas had brought. It pleased him to know that Castiel had made a conscious decision to bring what he knew would make Dean happy. As if it was his way of wordlessly speaking from his heart.   
  
    After pie and coffee, the group gathered while Dean and Sam set off a pyrotechnic display of fireworks that lit the sky with sparks of color, and as midnight neared and alcohol levels rose, the group began to turn in. Castiel approached the Winchesters and Bobby.   
  
    "Thank you for including me," he spoke to Sam. "I should be going now.... may I have my coat?"  
  
    "I'll get it," Dean told him, waiting for Cas to say goodbye before preceding him into the house. The Angel donned his coat and followed Dean out into the front yard. Cas could have left from anywhere, but he knew Dean must be leading him down the driveway and out of sight from the house for a reason.   
  
    Dean stopped at the end of the gravel drive, turning back to the Angel.  
  
    "Thanks for the pie," he said. Castiel nodded.   
  
    "You're welcome."  
  
    Dean felt a stab of irritation. He was frustrated by the situation, but not sure how to rectify it. The life he lead really didn’t lend itself to any sort of relationship, but he wanted to be fair to Cas. He sighed.   
  
    "Come here," Dean instructed and Castiel stepped forward. Dean hugged him. "I'm gonna figure this out," he spoke.  
  
    "Figure what out?" the Angel asked, curiously.  
  
    "Something," Dean assured him, setting him free. "You keep your ears open for me, alright?"  
  
    Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Always. Goodnight Dean."  
  
    " 'Night Cas,"  
  
    When the Angel disappeared, Dean trekked back up to the house. Sam was walking Lisa to the door.  
  
    "There you are Dean," Sam exclaimed. "Where did you go?"  
  
    "Oh," Dean shrugged. "I thought I had more beer in the back of the Impala, but... I was wrong." he looked to Lisa. "Can I walk you out?"  
  
    “Sure,” she agreed with a smile, saying goodbye to Sam and following Dean across the porch. "Your brother is sweet." she said, amused by Dean's expression of disagreement. "I can tell you weren't expecting me."  
  
    Dean forced a smile, shaking his head.   
  
    "I'm glad to see you're well though," he told her. "Tell Ben that I said 'hey',"  
  
    Lisa looked up at him, tilting her head to one side.   
  
    "You are well, right Dean?" she asked, concerned. "You seem well, but you also seem... I don't know."  
  
    "I'm very well," he told her. "I’m great. Don't you worry about me." he hugged her tightly, planting a kiss on the top of her head. "You just take care of you and Ben,"  
  
    She smiled back at him, nodding.   
  
    "I will," she said, walking down the steps of the porch. She stopped just shy of the final step, turning to look back up at him. "And whoever it is that is taking care of you now," she said with a knowing look. "I hope they realize how lucky they are."  
  
    Dean shook his head, bringing a hand to the back of his neck, but he didn’t refute her statement. He waved as her rental car pulled out of the drive and he turned back into the house. He joined Sam and Bobby in the kitchen, helping clean up the dessert dishes and dispose of bottles and cans. Sam asked him at least six times if he had a good time that evening,   
  
    "Yes, Sam, Yes. For the last time," he replied, his exasperated tone not hiding his amusement. Sam continued to grin. Dean shook his head. "Go to bed, Sammy." he told his little brother. "We're done here."  
  
    Sam clapped him on the back.  
  
    "Good night Dean, Bobby," he spoke before turning from the room. Dean sighed, taking a clean tumbler from the cupboard and filling it with ice.   
  
    "Nightcap, Bobby?" he asked the older man. Bobby shrugged, tossing down his dishtowel and taking the glass Dean offered.   
  
    "Why not," he replied. Dean filled another tumbler with ice, pulled a bottle of scotch from the cupboard and the two stepped out into the yard. They took seats in lawn chairs, and Dean poured the drinks. The men sat in silence for a moment before Bobby spoke.   
  
    "The kid means well," he told the younger man. Dean nodded in agreement.   
  
    "I know," he said. "I just wish he would... not worry about me,"  
  
    Bobby leaned back in his seat, looking over at the younger hunter.   
  
    "He wants you to get some happiness, Dean," he explained. "We all do."  
  
    "I am happy," Dean assured him, before taking another drink. "I am."  
  
    Bobby was quiet a moment before asking.   
  
    "Are you?"  
  
    Dean looked over at him, but Bobby had already looked back to the dark blue sky overhead. Dean licked his lips.  
  
    "Sure," he replied. "... why?"  
  
    Bobby took a deep breath before sighing, holding his glass out for Dean to refill.   
  
    "I know this ain’t none of my business, kid," he began. "I'm not your father, so I don't pretend to tell you how to live your life,"  
  
    Dean felt heat rising up the back of his neck. He wasn't sure where this was going, but he had two competing concerns. One was that Bobby didn't feel he was family.  
  
    "You're as good as, Bobby," he interrupted. Bobby smirked, trying not to smile.   
  
    "Then I want you to listen boy," he said. "I've learned a lot of things in my long life: how to deal with monsters, how to research when there is no information available, and how to read people. And while most people probably didn't pick up on it, it was pretty obvious how you were eyeing that Angel from across the yard."  
  
    Dean choked on his drink, setting forward as Bobby thumped him on the back.  
  
    "What?!" Dean spluttered, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Bobby shrugged.   
  
    "Am I wrong?"  
  
    Dean opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish out of water as he floundered for a response. He tried to deflect the question.  
  
    "You think I'm...you think I'm gay, Bobby?" he demanded. Bobby grimaced.   
  
    "Don't accuse me of that," he grumbled. "I don't give a damn what sort of equipment you use to play the game as long as you enjoy the sport,"  
      
    Dean couldn't help but laugh, but he knew his face must be burning red.   
  
    "C'mon," he entreated his mentor. "You really think... me an' Cas?"  
  
    "What’s important is whether or no _you_ think 'You and Cas'," he replied. Dean starred at him, stunned. For several long moments he just stared at the older hunter. His voice sounded slightly dry when he spoke.  
  
    "You don't think there is something wrong with that?" he asked, watching intently for any sign that his fears were correct. Bobby let out a heavy breath.   
  
    "Dean, I ain't wanted nothing more than for you boys to be happy. How'm I supposed to complain that you have an Angel in your corner? He's a little odd, sure but,... so are you."  
  
    Dean swallowed, shaking his head.   
  
    "I was afraid that you'd think I was... I don’t know..." he shrugged. Bobby raised an eyebrow, taking the bottle from the younger man and pouring them both another round.   
  
    "No, I think _you_ were afraid," he replied. “And there ain’t nothing wrong with that - or you - so put it out of your head right now.” He took another long drink, inwardly considering the information a moment before continuing. "Castiel, huh."  
  
    Dean nodded. There was a bit of relief in admitting it to someone else.   
  
    "As long as he makes you happy Dean, and you're doin' this for you," Bobby told him. "Not because you think you owe him for draggin' your behind out of the pit,"  
  
    "Bobby, please," Dean grimaced. "There wouldn't be any favor big enough someone could do me that'd make me make such a drastic 180 if I didn't..."  
  
    "Like 'im?" Bobby supplied, looking over at the younger man. "... love 'im?" he added quietly.   
  
    Dean leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes.       
  
    "I don't know how it happened," he sighed, "I don't know how it happened... it just... did,"  
  
    Bobby shook his head, finishing the glass of scotch.   
  
    "Those are sometimes the best kind," he said with a smile. Dean turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.   
  
    "Are you shitting me, Bobby?" he asked. Bobby grimaced, shaking his head.   
  
    "No," he retorted. "If you are looking for someone to give you a hard time and tease you over something like this, well..." he grinned. "You'll have to wait until tomorrow. Because tonight I’ve had one too many drinks and I need to rest my brain before I can think of an adequate joke."  
  
    Dean couldn't help but smile back, shaking his head and rising from his seat.   
  
    "Good night," he said, clapping the older man on the shoulder as he passed. He climbed the stairs to his room, feeling slightly unbalanced by the events of the evening, and not just the copious amount of alcohol. But Lisa showing up, her talking to Cas, Bobby figuring him out and being okay with it. It was almost too much for one night.   
  
    And Bobby was okay with it?! That just blew his mind. But, then again, Bobby always was the parent Dean needed him to be. Now, he could only hope that Sam would take it as well.   
  
    Dean locked his bedroom door, more so out of habit now, before pulling off his T-shirt and jeans and kicking off his socks before climbing in to bed. He lay there in the quiet, staring at the ceiling. He'd have to tell Sam soon, now that Bobby knew. It wasn't that he wanted to keep things from his little brother, he just... just didn't know how to admit it.   
  
    He was surprised when he heard the buzz of his cell phone and he leaned out of the bed to pull his jeans toward himself. He dug in the pocket and pulled out his phone. The name on the caller ID made him grin.  
  
    "Hey Cas," he spoke warmly into the phone. "You call to say goodnight?"  
  
    "Hello Dean," Cas replied. "I'm sorry to bother you so late..."  
  
    Dean shook his head, even though he knew Cas couldn't see the gesture.   
  
    "You're not bothering me,” he told the Angel. "What's up?" There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end. Dean's brow furrowed. "Cas?"  
  
    "I need to speak with you," Castiel explained. "I'm sorry that it can't wait until morning. I know you must be tired."  
  
    "Wide awake," Dean insisted, sitting up. "Come on over,"  
  
    Even with the Angel’s insistence that it could wait, the two extremely long minutes it took for him to appear told Dean that Cas had something heavy on his mind. Dean closed his phone.   
  
    "What's wrong?" he asked. Castiel sighed, setting on the edge of the bed.   
  
    "I'm sorry Dean," he said heavily. "I'm just... very conflicted right now."  
  
    "Conflicted?" Dean repeated, scooting closer and resting a hand on the Angel’s arm. "Why? About what?"  
  
    Cas looked up at him, a sad expression of pain on his face. He grimaced, shaking his head and looking away.   
  
    "I have long since felt an affinity toward you," he began, his voice low. "And when you reciprocated, I felt as though I were receiving recompense for the trials that we have faced. But now... I feel it is just the next trial."  
  
    Dean put his feet on the floor, moving to sit beside the older man.   
  
    "You're not making sense buddy," he said, concerned. He placed a hand on Castiel's back. "Try getting a little more specific."  
  
    Castiel looked back to him, and there were unshed tears of grief in his eyes. Dean felt his throat constrict.  
  
    "I love you, Dean," Castiel explained, shaking his head as if the very thought was mad. "I was a soldier, a warrior, and through you I came to experience friendship, and joy, and love..." Dean bit the inside of his cheek to keep from interrupting, but it was killing him to see his friend in pain. "And you loved me back. You showed me... so much about love that I didn't know. And for a moment, it felt real."  
  
    "It is real, Cas," Dean said tightly. "How could you think it isn't? Who's telling you it's not?"  
  
    Castiel sighed.   
  
    "You are a human man, Dean," the Angel replied. "You have human wants and desires. How are you going to live a life, have a family, if you are tied to an Angel?"  
  
    "Damnit, Cas," Dean snapped. "Don't talk like that. Besides-" Castiel held up a hand to silence him.  
  
    "Please don't say that your life was never going to be normal anyway," he pleaded, "That's just as painful."  
  
    Dean stood, running his hands through his hair, trying to get his thoughts in order.   
  
    "You listen to me, Cas," he finally said, stopping in front of the Angel and pointing at him. "I'm giving you a break because you don't quite get why humans do what they do, but you don't get to decide for me what I want out of life. Sure, I thought about having a wife and kids someday. People _think_ , Cas. People wonder. But, when you find what it is that makes you happy, even if it's not what you expect, you hang on to it and you let the rest just take care of itself. You upset because I'll never be a dad? Why the hell don't you let us see where this takes us first before you give up on me!"  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed.   
  
    "We're both male, Dean... It will never take us to parenthood."  
  
    "Cas," Dean spoke, exasperated, moving close to the Angel and cupping his face in his hands. "It is way too soon for us to worry about that. We may not even survive the year. But when I do die, it's gonna be after I loved you as hard as I could for as long as I could. And not just because you deserve it,"  
  
    Castiel swallowed, looking back up at Dean with such hope.   
  
    "Then why?" he asked. Dean's expression was stern, but his voice was calm.  
  
    "Because I deserve it." he told him. "You talk recompense - well this is mine."  
  
    He leaned down, pressing his lips against Castiel's and not letting up until the Angel had no choice but to submit. Dean pulled away, running his hand back over Castiel's hair.   
  
    "You love me?" he asked. Castiel nodded, but the concern was still etched across his face. Dean narrowed his eyes. "You love me, Cas? 'Cause if you don't, you've been leading me on and that's just cruel."  
  
    "Of course I love you," The Angel replied, looking stricken. "I wouldn't... I wouldn't be insincere."  
  
    "Then why don't you trust that this is what I want?" Dean asked. "Because, so help me Cas, I want you. Like I've never wanted anyone." he gave a embarrassed laugh. "And if you knew anything about the deeply ingrained social conventions you mentioned earlier, you'd know that this isn't something I take likely." he leaned closer, kissing Castiel once more. "I wouldn't be insincere."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dean told me that he loves Cas,” Sam said in an off-hand sort of way. “I have to admit, I was shocked at first. I mean, it felt like it came out of left field."  
> “Did it?” Bobby remarked, once again taking notes in his journal and not looking up at Sam. The young man considered the question, thinking back on their life since Cas had come in to it. Dean did seem to be different in Cas’s presence, obviously even more in the last several months. But when Sam really thought about it, was it really that shocking?  
> “I suppose not,” Sam replied, “But it was still unexpected.”  
> “That your brother would do one thing to make himself happy?” Bobby asked. “I’ll agree there.”  
> Sam smirked, shaking his head.  
> “Maybe it’s about time you started thinking about getting some happiness back in your life, too,” Bobby suggested, not even glancing up. “Instead of avoiding it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so as you know I wrote this just for myself, and as I am reworking it a bit for the consumption of others, I had to add in a couple pieces of the puzzle that I didn't need to include for myself - which is why this update took so long. I really, really hope you enjoy it. I've agonized over this chapter for so many days, I can no longer view it properly, so if you spot an error or an odd bit of phrasing, please let me know. Thanks! ~pita-b

    When Dean woke, Castiel was sitting by the window, waiting patiently for him. Dean still considered it slightly unsettling, but more because he felt sorry for Cas being awake all night while he slept. Since Castiel no longer had the heavy emotional weight of making deals with Hell and worrying about fighting heaven alone, it seemed he no longer had the ability to fall asleep as he had before. Dean made him promise to wait for him to get dressed before attempting to leave, so Castiel continued to wait. After Dean showered and dressed, he gave Cas a reassuring smile before unlocking the bedroom door.  
  
    Bobby was the only one in the kitchen when they entered. He looked up at them, almost disinterestedly, before speaking.  
  
    "Coffee's fresh," he said, taking a sip of his own as he continued to read the paper.  
  
    "Thanks Bobby," Dean commented, giving the older man a clap on the shoulder as he passed. He called behind to Castiel, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway. "You want some coffee, Cas?"  
  
    "Yes, please," the Angel replied, but didn't make any move to sit, or to look less awkward. Bobby used his foot to push a chair out from under the table.  
  
    "Sit down boy," he grumbled. Castiel took the offered seat, and Dean sat a cup of coffee in front of him. The three were silent.  
  
    "Good morning!" Sam announced, entering the room. He seemed surprised to see Castiel, but pleasantly so. "Hey Cas," he said. "You're here early. Everything okay?"  
  
    Castiel looked over to Dean, appearing hesitant to answer. Dean turned to his brother.  
  
    "I asked him over," he replied. Sam didn't question, setting down at the table next to Cas.  
  
    "So, what's on the agenda for today?” Sam asked, watching Dean pouring coffee into one more mug, “Did Jo and Ellen already leave?"  
  
    Dean passed his brother the cup and Bobby turned the page of the paper.  
  
    "Yeah, they left just after dawn," the older man replied. "They had quite a drive. Ellen told me she left you boys a bottle of stout whiskey... but I'm keeping it."  
  
    Sam and Dean both smiled. Sam poured the last tablespoon of milk from the container into his coffee.  
  
    "Do we need a supply run, Bobby?" he asked, setting the empty jug on the table. Dean spoke before the older man could answer.  
  
    "I'll do it," he said. "Make a list Sammy. We'll go together."  
  
    Sam nodded, missing the significant look that passed between Dean and Bobby, and the way Cas looked up. Bobby spoke to the older Winchester.  
  
    "I don't mind going," he told him. "Not if you want to just... take you time.. 'round here?"  
  
    Dean shook his head.  
  
    "No, we'll do it." he replied. "There's some things I got to take care of."  
  
    As confident as he tried to sound, the closer he got to the bottom of his mug, the more his palms began to sweat. Once Sam was finished with his own drink, he stood.  
  
    "You ready?" he asked his brother. Dean nodded, rising from his chair and rubbing his hands against the legs of his jeans. Castiel made a movement to rise, but Dean held up a hand. The Angel settled back into his seat.  
  
    "We'll be back," Dean spoke, patting Cas on the shoulder on his way past. Castiel turned back to Bobby, who only shrugged.  
  
    "The boy knows what he's doing," he spoke, rising from his seat and crossing to open the cupboard above the fridge. He returned with a bottle of bourbon, which he poured a stout measure of into his cup and then the Angel’s. "But while they're gone," he smiled. "Why don't you and I have a little chat.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean listened to Sam rattle off all of the things that he had on the list, giving a commentary about things he hoped they had versus things that they needed without question.  
  
    "And we're definitely not skimping on toilet paper again," Sam laughed, adding another item to the list. "I don't know why I even bother trying to buy the cheap stuff."  
  
    "Hm," Dean agreed, pulling the Impala to a halt in front of the big market store nearest the scrap yard. Before Sam could reach for the door, Dean spoke.  
  
    "Hold up, Sammy," he said, quickly. "Um..."  
  
    Sam looked over at him expectantly, intrigued by Dean’s hesitance to continue.  
  
    "Yeah?"  
  
    Dean felt a knot twist in his stomach and he licked his dry lips.  
  
    "I uh..." he began, settling back in his seat. "I need to talk with you about something first."  
  
    Sam's eyebrows drew together, but he settled back into his seat as well, turning so he could face his brother. Dean never wanted to talk, so it was a little bit of an understatement to say he was surprised.  
  
    "What is it?" he asked. "You okay?"  
  
    Dean nodded, taking a deep breath as he considered what he was about to say. He looked back into his brother's waiting face.  
  
    He looked away.  
  
    "Look," he began, picking at a thinning spot on the pant leg of his jeans. "This... this thing you think I got going on with Lisa," he couldn't see Sam's smile, but he could _feel_ it. "It's not happening." he looked over at the younger man. "It's not."  
  
    Sam sighed.  
  
    "Well, something's going on with you Dean," he replied. "You've been in such a good mood - for you, anyway - you're sleeping well, you're eating well. Did you know," he told him with a triumphant smile. "That I ordered you vegetables with dinner about nine times this last month. _And you ate them_." Dean shook his head, opening his mouth to reply but Sam continued. "You're not losing your temper as often. You just seem... I dunno... happy,"  
  
    "I am happy, Sam," Dean sighed, his nerves getting to him. "Could you please just let me freakin’ talk for a second?"  
  
    Sam looked slightly affronted, and he frowned.  
  
    "Yeah, sure..." he spoke. Dean sighed again.  
  
    "I'm sorry Sam," he grumbled, rubbing his eyes before pushing his hands back through his hair. "I'm just... I really don't know how to say it."  
  
    "Just say it," Sam said, supportively. He was now becoming concerned. Dean took another deep breath.  
  
    "Look, you were wrong about Lisa," he began again, crossing his arms and uncrossing them before bringing his hands up to drum on the steering wheel. "But... there has been... someone,"  
  
    Sam smiled broadly, adjusting in his seat to turn further toward his brother.  
  
    "That's great, Dean!" he said enthusiastically. "That's great. Why so on the down-low? Where did you meet?"  
  
    It was time to simply rip off the band-aid. Just one, quick motion. Just one quick, yet probably very painful, moment.    
  
    "It's Cas, Sam," Dean said wearily. Sam stared at him a moment. The silence between them was thick.  
  
    "What?"  
  
    Dean turned to his brother, his expression resigned and serious.  
  
    "It's Cas, Sam." he repeated. "Cas."  
  
    "Cas," Sam echoed, his eyebrows pinched together. He tilted his head to one side and raised a finger in question.  "Are... are we talking about the same thing here?"  
  
    Dean took another deep breath, embolden by having already spoken his secret twice now.  
  
    "Yep." he stated, simply. "Same thing. You think it was Lisa. But it was Cas. So...” he clapped his hands, rubbing his palms together before reaching for the door handle. “What we got on that list, huh?"  
  
    "Wait a minute, Dean!" Sam shouted, grabbing hold of his brother's shoulder before he could exit the car. "We need to talk about this!" Dean looked back at him, one eyebrow raised. Sam was grimacing, his eyes wide. Dean frowned. "Dean...are you serious? You just mean... you were _hanging out_ with Cas, right? I mean..."  
  
    Dean gave a heavy sigh.  
  
    "What do you want me to say, Sammy?" he asked, turning to look at him.       
      
    "Say?!" Sam exclaimed. "Dean... are you trying to tell me... you... and Cas? Castiel?"  
  
    "What other Cas'es do you know?" Dean asked, disgruntled. "Yes, Sam. Me and Cas."  
  
    "Why?" Sam exclaimed again. He became serious a moment before reaching for his bag. Dean growled at him.  
  
    "I swear to god, Sam, if you splash me with holy water-" Sam froze, turning back to him. Dean frowned. "I'm not possessed. I'm not a shifter. I'm just me. And I'm sorry to disappoint you, little brother, but... this is the way it is."  
  
    Sam was quiet a moment before he responded.  
  
    "I’m not disappointed... but... you don't owe him this, Dean," he spoke quietly. Dean was surprised by his words. "Look, I like Cas too, but-."  
  
    Sam's was surprised, once again, but this time by the tight, even words when his brother spoke, interrupting him.  
  
    "You're a little shocked, so I'm gonna overlook you making this seem like it's Cas's fault," he began. "But see, I’m doing anyone a favor here. I took the first step, this wasn't Cas's doing."  
  
    "Dean," Sam said quietly, his expression pained. "I don’t think this is Cas’s fault - I’m worried about him! What are you thinking? He cares about you a lot. And this hunting stuff, we're going to finish it someday. And what then? When you want to settle down and have a family? You just going to dump Cas and be on your way? Don't start what you can't finish. It's not fair to either of you."  
  
    Dean could only think of one thing to tell his little brother to show him how serious he was.  
  
    "He's already tried to talk me out of this for my own good," he began. "But I love him, Sam. I got used to it. I know that I kept this from you, but you just need to get used to it too."  
  
    Sam's stunned expression remained. He couldn't remember ever hearing his brother say he 'loved' anyone. He slumped back in his seat, starring ahead of him but not seeing anything.  
  
    "How long?" he asked, quietly. He heard Dean shift, but he didn't turn his way.  
  
    "About five months," Dean replied quietly before he gave a small laugh. "Longest relationship I've ever been in."  
  
    "Relationship?" Sam asked, "Relationship?" his expression fell and he turned back to his brother. "Oh my god, are you sleeping with him?"  
  
    "What does that matter?" Dean asked, shifting in his seat again. Sam's mouth fell open.  
  
    "Oh my god, you're sleeping with him! You're sleeping with him?" he grimaced. "How... how can you sleep with ... with Cas?"  
  
    Dean felt his defensiveness start to kick in. There was nothing wrong with Castiel. He snapped back at his brother.  
  
    "I can’t believe you’re being such a bitch about this," he growled. "What the hell does that matter?" he opened the car door and got out. Sam scrambled out behind him.  
  
    "Dean!" he called, catching up with his brother and grabbing his arm. "Dean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Dean stopped, turning to glare up at his brother. Sam still looked uneasy, but slightly repentant. "I'm sorry. This is just... unexpected."  
  
    "You think it didn't shock the hell out of me?" Dean asked him. "I didn't plan this. Cas sure as hell didn't plan this. But you both got to quit obsessing on some sort of... of... societal norms that somehow exclude me and Cas from being happy. I just want to be happy Sam..." he shook his head, his shoulders slumping. "And I'm happy." he gave a weak laugh, shaking his head again. "I'm happy, Sam."  
  
    Sam nodded, unsure of how to respond.  
  
    "I'm.. happy for you Dean..." he said quietly. "Wow... you and Cas..." the two started walking toward the store in silence, both distracted by their own thoughts. Before they hit the entrance, Sam stopped short. "Oh god," he stated, his expression turning sour. "So that hotel in Tonkawa - that was Cas?!" he looked uneasy. "I thought you had a girl in there! Ugh..."  
  
    "The girl was Cas's sister," Dean replied. He frowned as Sam continued to grimace. "Why, what did you see?"  
  
    Sam made a small guttural noise.  
  
    "Enough." he replied, honestly.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
      
    Laden down with shopping bags, Dean and Sam made their way back into the house. The living room was empty, but there was the clanking of dishes coming from the kitchen.  
  
    "Bobby?" Dean called. "Cas? We're back."  
  
    Upon entering the kitchen, both Sam and Dean came to a halt. Bobby stood in front of the sink, elbow deep in soapy water. Cas stood at his side, shirt sleeves rolled up and an apron tied around his waist, drying the dishes Bobby placed in the drainer. His coat and jacket lay over a chair. Dean gave a snort of laughter.  
  
    "Well ain’t this cozy," Dean smiled, dropping the bags onto the table. "You didn't happen to also bake me a pie, did you?" he asked.  
  
    "I'll put you to work too," Bobby threatened, pointing a soapy spatula at him.  
  
    Dean continued to chuckle as he and Sam unpacked the bags, moving around the kitchen to put groceries away. Sam moved past Castiel to place a can of coffee in the cupboard. Cas looked to him with uncertainty. Sam gave him a reassuring smile, patting him on the shoulder before moving back to the table.  
  
    Dean smiled at the look of relief in Castiel's eyes. Things were certainly looking up. Now that this was out in the open, things could possibly settle down for a little bit and he and Cas could just get used to their new relationship. Dean really liked the idea of that. Life had always been so hectic, things so crazy and unexpected, it might be nice to just have something normal for a bit.  
  
    Well, as normal as being in a relationship with an Angel could be. But, he’d take it.    
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    In the weeks that followed, the Winchesters spent the time at Bobby's when they weren't working what cases they could. Cases were in short supply on the West coast, and all the decent East coast leads were taken by other hunters. Dean couldn't say he wasn't happy for the sparse work. It gave him plenty of time to spend under the Impala, and on top of Cas.  
  
    Even though Sam and Bobby now knew exactly what was going on between him and the Angel, they still kept their interactions neutral when in company. But at night, Dean couldn't sleep alone that now he knew he didn't have to. The rest of the house just did what men normally do - they pretended nothing was different at all. Even when Cas was there for dinner, and then for breakfast the next day. It didn’t take long for Sam to start getting used to the idea. After all, he sometimes got the feeling Cas had a little crush on Dean, and Dean was happy - appeared genuinely happy - and that was all he had wanted for years.  
  
    With work scarce, Sam helped Bobby field the phones and research lore for other hunters across the country. Dean preferred to stay out in the yard, tinkering with the cars.  
  
    “Hey Dean!” Sam called, leaning out of the back door. His brother looked up from where he was hunched over the Impala’s engine, the hood propped open so he could tune her up.  
  
    “Yeah?”  
  
    “Bobby and I are heading to the city library,” Sam replied. “They’ve got some books were going to see if we can photocopy some pages out of. We’ll be back.”  
  
    Dean waved him off, returning to his work. The confidence Dean had with cars, coupled with the blasting rock and roll music, was just the right combination to be meditative for him. As he checked connections and blew the dust off of the ends of connectors, he moved his hips in time to the music and began to sing along. He wasn’t aware for quite some time that Castiel was watching him.  
  
    “Geeze, Cas!” He exclaimed, knocking his head on the hood of the car as he stood, blushing furiously. “You could warn a guy, you know?”  
  
    “I’m sorry,” the Angel replied, but it was obvious from the barely concealed smile on his face that he was certainly less than. “I will announce my presence louder next time. When you are not singing.”  
  
    Dean gave a huff of indignation, walking over to a workbench and turning down the radio he had blaring classic rock.  
  
    “I didn’t hear you at all,” Dean told Cas, dusting his hands on the legs of his jeans before dropping the hood to the car. “How long were you standing there?”  
  
    “About six and a half minutes,” Castiel replied, looking around the workshop with interest. He turned back to Dean, his expression serious. “You sing rather well.”  
  
    Dean gave a grunt of disagreement but didn’t speak, and he did turn his slightly pink face away from the other man. He tossed the wrench he had been using back into the tool box and he leaned on the car. Dean watched Castiel picking up items and examining them before putting them back.  
  
    “What’s on your agenda for today, Cas?” Dean asked, taking a bandana from his pocket and wiping the sweat from his brow.  
“I haven’t see you in a couple days.”  
  
    Castiel shook his head, leaning against the bench opposite Dean.  
  
    “I have no immediate plans,” he replied. “My brother has told me that he needs time to reflect, and he will call for my return when he had decided whether or not he will stand down from causing any more tragedy to earth.” Castiel sighed. “I can only hope he will see reason... he believes our father is gone, so there is no telling how he will respond. If he thinks there will not be consequences to his actions... if he thinks our father no longer cares for this creation...”  
  
    Dean pushed himself from the car, crossing to the Angel. He gave Cas a reassuring smile, reaching up and resting his hands on the shorter man’s shoulders.  
  
    “No point in thinking the worst until you know,” Dean advised. “And on the plus side, this gives you some free time, hm?”  
  
    Castiel nodded, a softly pleased smile warming his handsome face.  
  
    “Yes.” he agreed. “I find I have become rather fond of “free time”...”  
  
    Dean grinned, mirroring Cas’s nod.  
  
    “Well,” Dean began. “Let me just get some of this cleaned up and we can go in and grab some lunch, hm?”  
  
    “I’d like that,” Cas replied. Dean’s smile widened, and Castiel felt a swelling of pride in his chest at having been the cause. He watched the hunter pick up the rest of the tools and begin packing them away. As Dean cleaned up, Castiel continued his examination of the work shop. He picked up a small electronic device of wires and knobs. “What is this?” he asked, turning to Dean. Dean grimaced.  
  
    “Uh, oh... that’s just an EMF detector I made a hundred years ago.” he replied. “We bought a real one a while back, so...”  
  
    Castiel examined the device, turning it over in his hands. Dean watched him in silence.  
  
    “This,” the Angel began slowly, turning one of the dials. “is quite clever. It is very well made.” he looked up at Dean. “Your ingenuity knows no bounds, does it?”  
  
    Dean gave a self-conscious laugh, running a hand over his hair before realizing how grimy his palm was. He grimaced.  
  
    “Nah, not really.” he said, shrugging. “Was just desperate for a device I didn’t have the money for at the time. It got the job done, I guess, but the one we got now is really cool...”  
  
    Castiel narrowed his eyes.  
  
    “Don’t minimize your gifts, Dean,” he said, seriously. “You are the most incredible creation. So strong and resourceful and kind and generous...”  
  
    “Kind and generous?” Dean laughed, a bit of color rising once again to his cheeks. “How do you reckon that?”  
  
    Castiel tilted his head, considering Dean a moment before responding.  
  
    “No one can do what you do for people without being so,” he said, simply. The two stared at each other a moment before Dean dropped his gaze.  
  
    “Alright, Angel,” Dean sighed, crossing to Castiel and placing a hand on his back, guiding him out of the workshop. “I’m not gonna fight with you. Let’s get inside.”  
  
    “You can’t fight with me,” Castiel replied, allowing Dean to push him toward the house. “Because I’m right.”  
  
    Dean’s laughter was music to the Angel’s ears, and he smiled, a pleased feeling fluttering in his stomach. Dean opened the back door and motioned Cas inside.  
  
    “I’m gonna grab a quick shower,” Dean told him, dragging his hand down Castiel’s back and over his hip as he pulled away. “And then we can have some lunch, hm?”  
  
    “I’d like that,” Cas replied with a nod.  
  
    Dean grinned, turning from the kitchen and taking the stairs two at a time to the next floor. He showered as quickly as possible, scrubbing the grime from his skin and the leftover grease from his hands and under his nails. There was just a bit of urgency to his movement, and he tried to tell himself it wasn’t the desire to spend as much time alone in the house with Cas as possible before Sam and Bobby returned. He was a big boy, not a giddy teenager with his first crush. But he ignored his internal chastising, dressing quickly in a pair of faded blue jeans and a soft, T-shirt. He grabbed his phone from the dresser and tucket it in his pocket  before returning back down stairs.  
  
    The footfalls of Dean’s bare feet were silent on the worn carpet, and he came to a halt just outside the kitchen. A smile spread across his face as he watched the Angel who was still within. Cas had shed his coats and was standing at the counter, his brow creased and his eyes narrowed as he read the back of the bread packaging, two slices sitting on a plate before him. Carefully and thoughtfully, Castiel assembled a sandwich from the items he found in the fridge.  
  
    “You gonna cut the crust off for me, too?” Dean asked with a smile, coming to stand beside the other man. It was a natural reaction to touch the Angel’s back and lean down to place a kiss on his shoulder, but Dean blushed directly afterward. If Cas noticed, he didn’t comment.  
  
    “Why would I do that?” he asked, looking down at the food. “Do you dislike them?”  
  
    Dean gave a small laugh, shaking his head.  
  
    “It’s not that,” he assured. Castiel tilted his head, handing the plate to Dean.  
  
    “Then what?”  
  
    “Uh,” Dean hesitated, turning toward the table to sit down. “It’s nothing... I was just joking around.”  
  
    Castiel grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and sat it beside the hunter.  
  
    “How is it a joke?”  
  
     Dean took a bite of his lunch to put off having to respond right away. He shrugged, trying to sound casual when he spoke.  
  
    “My mom used to cut the crust off my sandwiches,” he said as Cas took the seat at his side. “It’s a joke because it’s things a parent does for a kid, and...” he smirked,  “you and I definitely don’t have that kind of relationship.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, appearing thoughtful a moment before responding.  
  
    “Maybe it is not simply a parent/child activity,” he said. “but something that you do for someone you love.” Dean blushed again as the Angel continued. “It was certainly my intention as I prepared your food; to convey my affection for you.”  
  
    Dean shook his head, but couldn’t stop the please smiled that turned his mouth. He bumped his knee against Castiel’s under the table, but he didn’t make any further acknowledgement of the sentiment. He was saved from having to comment when his phone buzzed.  
  
    “Hey, Sam,” he greeted, dropping his eyes from the warm, affectionate expression on the Angel’s face. “Hows the library?”  
  
    “Not there yet,” San replied. “We stopped for gas and Bobby wanted to top off the oil. We were thinking of stopping for lunch on the way home and I wanted to know if you wanted anything? Or if that’s too long for you to wait?”  
  
    “No worries,” Dean told him. “Cas and I are having lunch right now, so you and Bobby don’t have to worry about me.”  
  
    “Oh, cool,” Sam said, glancing over to Bobby in the driver’s seat beside him. Bobby raised an eyebrow in question. Sam continued. “I didn’t know Cas was going to stop by.”  
      
    “Yeah,” Dean said, feeling just slightly flustered. “I guess he’s got a couple days off from hoofing it for heaven, so I thought he could just hang out with us for a while. Maybe we’ll hit a case that he’d want to help with.”  
  
    “I’d like that,” Cas replied to Dean’s comment, and the hunter smiled.  
  
    “Well cool,” Sam said again. “We’ll definitely stop and get more beer on the way home then. See you soon-both- see you both, soon...” Sam grimaced at his sudden strike of awkwardness.  
  
    “Good bye, Sam,” Dean smirked, shutting off the phone and setting it aside. He smiled at Cas. “So, since you’re stuck with us down here for a while, what do you want to do?”  
  
    “I am very much looking forward to just... being part of the Winchesters,” he admitted, a bit self consciously. “To spend time with you all.”  
  
    Dean nodded, taking a bite of his sandwich to keep himself from grinning like a fool.  
  
    “Me too,” he agreed, his voice muffled from the food. “...Me too.”  
  
    They kept their conversation neutral, but the continued brush of Dean’s leg against Castiel’s was a separate, affectionate conversation all on it’s own. Once Dean was finished eating, they went into the living room together, sitting on the couch side by side. Dean turned on the TV out of habit, flipping through the limited stations - Bobby wasn’t one to need cable.    
  
    “Oo!” Dean exclaimed, clicking back to a station he had just passed. “Ugh, I love this movie. You’re gonna love this movie, Cas.”  
  
    Castiel looked to the television with piqued interest, not only from Dean’s assurance that he would enjoy it, but moreso because he wanted to experience something Dean enjoyed. Cas turned to the screen, watching what appeared to be an assembly of Roman soldiers.  
  
    “What is this about?” he asked as Dean settled more comfortably into the sofa.  
  
    “It’s “History of the World: Part 1”. It’s a classic,” Dean replied with a wide smile, giving the Angel a pat on the thigh. “It’s awesome.”  
  
    Castiel raised his eyebrows in interest. He enjoyed history, and it would be made even more pleasant with the weight of Dean’s hand where it lingered on his leg. They didn’t watch long before Dean was laughing heartily and Castiel was squinting at the screen in confusion. The Angel turned to the young man at his side.  
  
    “Dean,” he said, seriously. “This is not historically accurate.” The statement only made Dean laugh harder, and Castiel watched him with concern. “I was _there_ , Dean,” he informed the hunter. “I can assured you, none of ... of _this_ happened.”  
  
    “Oh my god, Cas,” Dean sighed, wiping at his eyes. “It’s a movie, not a documentary. It’s all made up. For entertainment.”  
  
    Castiel’s expression relaxed, and he looked back to the television.  
  
    “Oh... well, I can see that is quite humorous then,” he agreed. Dean smiled at him, leaning in to the Angel’s side. Cas lifted his arm and wrapped it around the younger man, and Dean tensed a fraction of a second before relaxing in to him.  
  
    Dean felt there was something very comforting and safe in Cas’s arms, even though a part of him berated himself for being such a wuss - he was a man after all. It was his job to do the holding, right? He didn’t need protecting, he was supposed to do the protecting. Still... it was nice. It was so easy to feel comfortable, especially when they were alone. It was so easy to see all of the little things between them that Dean had been denying for so long. He realized a little more every day that he had just been denying, and that one average day that he made one decision to give in... it may just have been the best decision he’d ever made.    
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Two hours and forty six minutes after Dean unceremoniously hung up on his brother, the younger Winchester sat in a booth at a local Sioux Falls bar and grill across from Bobby. The older hunter was pouring over the photo copies of the old tomes they had found in the library and nursing his second cup of after-lunch coffee.  
  
    Initially, Sam had been intrigued by the ancient texts, but after an hour he wasn’t sure how much more he could get out of them.  
  
    “Hey Bobby,” he asked, leaning onto the table. “Are we heading back any time soon?”  
  
    Bobby turned over one page, keeping his eyes on the printed words when he spoke.  
  
    “Why don’t you order yourself some dessert?” he suggested. “A growing boy can’t live on lettuce.”  
  
    Sam gave a small laugh, reaching over for the dessert menu that was tucked between the condiment bottles and the napkin dispenser.  
  
    “I can’t imagine growing any more,” Sam told him, opening the laminated card. “But if I didn’t know any better... I would say we were stalling...”  
  
    Bobby didn’t respond immediately. He underlined something on the page he was reading, making a note in the leather journal at his side. He picked up his coffee cup and drained the remaining bit before raising a hand and motioning for the waiter.  
      
    “Can I get another cup?” Bobby asked the young man who came to his call. “And my friend here will have something for dessert.”  
  
    The teen waiter took out his notepad, and Sam quickly looked back down to the menu. He asked for a slice of carrot cake and a cup of coffee for himself, and the waiter left to retrieve their order. Once they were alone, Sam turned back to Bobby, hoping for an explanation. He was made to wait until the waiter returned with their order. Bobby took a drink before speaking.  
  
    “When I was married,” he said, leaning back against the soft leather of the booth seat. “You know what some of my favorite times were?” Sam shook his head, intrigued by how the conversation was starting. Bobby didn’t often talk about his departed wife, so he knew this must be something important. Bobby sighed. “We’d have these lazy Saturday afternoons. Sometimes we’d take a drive out in the country and pick around some yard sales or home grown fruit stands. That woman could always turn whatever we bought into a piece of art - whether it was for decoration or for dessert.” He gave a fond chuckle, and Sam smiled. “But sometimes we’d just putter around at home... I miss those times...” he cleared his throat, taking another sip of coffee before asking Sam. “You know what I mean?”  
  
    Sam nodded, picking at the slice of cake on his plate.  
  
    “Yeah...” he grinned, the same melancholy fondness that Bobby must have been feeling was welling up in him. “Jess and I used to eat cereal in bed on Saturday morning and read the paper.... she would read me the comics page and then we’d do the crossword together...” he sighed, hoping it didn’t sound as wistful as he felt. “I miss those times, too...”  
  
    Bobby nodded and returned to his reading. He didn’t need to say more. Sam understood. Dean never really had a chance to have lazy, relaxed afternoons with the person he... Did Bobby just compare Cas to Karen and Jess?  
  
    “Dean told me that he loves Cas,” Sam said in an off-hand sort of way. “I have to admit, I was shocked at first. I mean, it felt like it came out of left field.”  
  
    “Did it?” Bobby remarked, once again taking notes in his journal and not looking up at Sam. The young man considered the question, thinking back on their life since Cas had come in to it. Dean did seem to be different in Cas’s presence, obviously even more in the last several months. But when Sam really thought about it, was it really that shocking?  
  
    “I suppose not,” Sam replied, taking a large forkfull of cake and putting it in his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully a moment. “But it was still unexpected.”  
  
    “That your brother would do one thing to make himself happy?” Bobby asked. “I’ll agree there.”  
  
     Sam smirked, shaking his head. He got halfway through the cake when Bobby spoke again.  
  
    “Maybe it’s about time you started thinking about getting some happiness back in your life, too,” he suggested, not even glancing up. “Instead of avoiding it.”  
  
    Sam stopped chewing, swallowing with difficulty past the lump that suddenly welled up in his throat.  
  
    He wasn’t avoiding happiness, he was just pretty sure it wasn’t what life had in store for him. He had tried. Several times he had tried.  Lori was just so soon after Jess, and he had definitely felt a connection with Sarah and also Madison. But it didn’t take him long to realize that he was never going to recapture what he once had with Jessica Moore. And after Ruby... he was done trying.  
  
    Sam reached across the table, picking up one of the copies that Bobby was done with and opened his own notebook back up. Both were silent, and continued to research without further discussion. After another half an hour, when their absence may start to seem suspicious, the two hunters packed up their work and headed back to the salvage yard. Surprisingly, they found Dean napping on the couch, his feet in the Angel’s lap, and Castiel was watching a re-run of Project Runway.  
  
    “Well this is cozy,” Bobby remarked.  
  
    Cas looked slightly uncertain down at Dean, as if he were unsure if this was an okay situation in which to be discovered. His moments with Dean now all seemed so very intimate, and he knew that Dean viewed intimacy as a private thing. Cas pulled his hands discreetly from where they rested on Dean’s bare feet. The action caused the hunter to stir.  
  
    “About time,” Dean mumbled, stretching his arms above his head before pulling himself into a sitting position. “We thought maybe you two had been arrested for defacing library books.”  
  
    “Nope,” Bobby replied, dropping a pile of papers on the coffee table in front of Dean. “Just had to make enough photo copies to bring back so your lazy ass could help out.”  
  
    Dean smirked, turning to Cas and shrugging before rising to his feet and grabbing the research.  
  
    Sam started a pot of coffee for his brother, and the four men sat around the table to pour over the pages and discuss the lore. After a couple hours, Dean rose from the table and cooked dinner for the group, so Sam offered to do the washing up. Without hesitation, Castiel got up to help him and they washed and dried the dishes together.  
  
    As the sun began to set, the group moved back into the living room to watch a bit of the evening news. The programming was preempted for a baseball game, and Dean stared at the screen with a frown. It’s not that he wasn’t the biggest sports fan, but for the past half hour he was starting to get the beginnings of a headache - and that was the last thing he was in the mood for. He rose from the sofa, going into the kitchen to down a couple aspirin and when he returned to the living room, he stood for a moment behind where Cas sat on the sofa. Since no one was looking his way, he reached out and touched the back of the Angel’s hair before speaking.  
  
    “I think I’m going to turn in, guys,” Dean announced, earning both Sam and Cas’s attention. “I’m beat.”  
  
    “Good night,” Sam said to him, offering a smile before turning back to the television.  
  
    “Good night, boys,” Bobby added, not looking away from the game.  
  
    Castiel looked up at Dean, and the young man shrugged, giving a nod of his head toward the staircase. Castiel stood, bidding good night to Sam and Bobby, before following Dean to the bedroom. Sam and Bobby sat in silence, watching the end of a baseball game. They were quiet a long time before Sam finally spoke.  
  
    "This..." he began hesitantly. "Really didn’t surprise you, Bobby?"  
  
    Bobby shrugged, taking a drink from his beer.  
  
    "Nope." he replied, his eyes never leaving the TV screen. "As long as your brother's happy, I couldn't care less who he's choosing to play naked twister with."  
  
    Sam grimaced, shivering a bit at the thought of what Dean and Castiel were doing upstairs. He never wanted to know what Dean was doing with his partners, but Cas was his friend too. He took a long drink of beer.  
  
    There was a thud overhead from the vicinity of Dean's room. Both Bobby and Sam stared at the ceiling a moment, neither commenting. When the second thud sounded, Bobby cleared his throat and turned up the television. It wasn't loud enough to drown out the call that came next.  
  
    "Sam! Help me!"  
  
    It was Cas.  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While setting alone in the living room, drinking his coffee, and watch the sun rising through the living room window, Dean had plenty of time to reflect on how drastically his life changed in the last 12 hours. Only hours. Not even a full day. Not to mention the way his life had changed in the last several months. He couldn't really complain, of course; something inside of him had been humming with happiness. Circumstances were crazy and confusing, but also wonderful and miraculous. And now... maybe he'd get a chance for the life he'd always wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this. This story is long, I know! There is so much more to come. I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter specific warning: potential trigger for anxiety/description of anxiety.**

 

    Sam and Bobby both scrambled to their feet, thundering up the stairs. Sam flung open the bedroom door, and he and Bobby pushed themselves through the narrow door way.  
  
    Castiel was kneeling on the floor beside the bed trying to soothe Dean, who was clutching his head and growling in agony. Cas looked to them, panic and fear on his face.  
  
    "He said his head was hurting," he explained quickly as Bobby pushed the younger Winchester aside to walk to the bed and kneel beside the Angel. Castiel’s voice was shaking as he continued. "I tried to heal him, but it only made it worse."  
  
    "Dean," Bobby spoke, trying to pull the younger hunter's hands from his head. "Dean, look at me."  
  
    "Hurts," Dean grunted, his face screwed up in a mask of pain. Castiel rose, worriedly running his hands through his hair and moving to stand by Sam's side. Both men looked helplessly down at Dean. Sam was so frightened by the sight, that his brother's state of half undress - in nothing but jeans - and the Angel's disheveled appearance - tie undone and shirt untucked - went completely unnoticed.  
  
    Dean howled in pain, choking back tears. "Cas-"  
  
    "I'm here Dean" Castiel answered him, moving back beside the bed. "I'm going to Heaven for help. I will be-"  
  
    "Don't!" Dean grunted, before opening his mouth to scream out his pain. Bobby turned to them.  
  
    "Sam," he ordered. "Go down to the library and bring me the green ammunition case in the safe behind the tan chair. The combination is 09-16-64." Sam nodded and rushed from the room. Bobby turned to the Angel. "Cas, before you hoof it skyward, go get some towels and a bowl of cool water. Now!" Castiel obeyed without question. Bobby turned back to the young man writhing in agony on the bed. "We're getting you some of the good medicine, boy," he spoke calmly, running a hand over Dean's hot, sweaty forehead.  
      
    Dean next howl of pain rent the air, but Bobby's voice called louder over the sound.  
  
    "Cas! Sam! Get back up here - now!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean felt as though he'd been worn in a meat-suit marathon by all of Hell's demons in training. He was hot, sweaty, and exhausted - and not in the good way. The damn headache had ruined a beautiful moment he's been attempting to have with Castiel. It started out as just an ache, something he could ignore in favor of tasting his way down Cas's throat and listening to the music was was the Angel's moan.  
  
    By the time his shirt came off, the ache was a definite pulse of pain. But he ignored it, in favor of running his finger's through Castiel's dark, wavy hair as the older man trailed cool kisses down his abdomen, testing out the ways his tongue could make Dean squirm. Before Cas could even unzip his jeans, however, the pulse became downright pain.  
  
    Concerned, Castiel had brought his fingertips to Dean's forehead, and Dean had felt the warm rush of healing energy that flowed into him. Instead of soothing the pain, it seemed like a dark vortex inside of him sucked the healing energy away leaving nothing but agony in its place. He could see Castiel's panicked face, hear him call for help, see Bobby and Sam come crashing into the room. And the pain became worse, unbearable. He called for Castiel, heard the man reply, and the blackness consumed him; crashing up over him in unbearable torment. Then the blackness became searing white hot light and left him spent. His hearing was starting to return, his eyes blinking in the dim light of the room, and he took in the faces of the three men standing around him.  
  
    Bobby's mouth hung open, and he was looking down on Dean with concern. Castiel was pale, his blue eyes wide with shock. Sam's face was unreadable, and he stood holding a bundle of towels smeared with blood.  
  
    Dean spoke, his voice rough and sounding loud in his own ears.  
  
    "What the hell just happened?"  
  
    No one moved. Dean narrowed his eyes, looking between the three in turn, who all turned to each other as if asking the same question.  
  
    "What?!" Dean demanded, attempting to sit up. Bobby reached out to stop him and Castiel set at his side.  
  
    "Lie still, Dean," the Angel pleaded. "Please lie still,"  
  
    "I'm fine," Dean insisted, turning to Sam. "Sammy, you okay? What happened?... Whose blood is that?"  
  
    "It's yours, Dean," Sam answered robotically. "...It's yours,"  
  
    "Mine?" Dean questioned, bringing a hand to his damp forehead and bringing it back down to look at the moisture on his fingers. It was sweat. He scowled at the lack of information being provided to him, and his tone was a little irritated when he spoke. "What happened?"  
  
    "I don't know," Castiel told him, his voice oddly quiet. "I... Dean..."  
  
    A rushing sound filled the room, and the group turned to the angel that stood at the end of the bed. She smiled around at them.  
  
    "Hello Castiel,"  
  
    Castiel's eye grew wide with surprise.  
  
    "Amariel," he replied. "What... what are you doing here?"  
  
    She smiled, turning from Castiel to the elder Winchester.  
  
    "I came to talk to Dean about his gifts -" she paused, turning to look over at Sam. She crossed to him, peeking into the bundle of soiled towels. "This is early," she said happily. Castiel grabbed her arm.  
  
    "You knew about this?" he demanded. Amariel looked hurt.  
  
    "Didn't you?"  
  
    "What the hell is going on here!?" Dean raged. His raised voice was followed by a sad, mewling sound. He turned to Sam, his expression fearful as he asked. "What's in the towel?"  
  
    Sam didn't reply. He slowly moved to the side of the bed and sat down next to his brother, carefully transferring the towel into Dean’s arms. Dean took the bundle awkwardly, peering down into the fluffy terrycloth. Looking back at him through squinting, brilliant blue eyes, was a baby.  
  
    "Son of a bitch," Dean breathed. He was transfixed momentarily by the infants face. Pale eyebrows and dark lashes framed the  beautiful blue eyes, and Dean found it was hard to look away. Once he lifted his head, he addressed Amariel.  "Did you do this?"  
  
    Amariel held up her hands, shaking her head.  
  
    "No," she said pointing to the child. "Castiel did that.” a grin spread across her face. “You were there too, I believe." Sam made a miserable gurgling sound. Amariel continued. "My gifts have yet to arrive... I suppose I should have brought something for this though..."  
  
    "Where did this come from!" Dean demanded, lowering his voice when the baby gave a pitiful whimper. " _Tell me_."  
  
    Amariel frowned, turning to look at her older brother.  
  
    "Didn't you explain this to him?" she asked. Castiel balked.  
  
    "I have no idea what happened!" he insisted, desperately turning to Dean. "I didn't Dean; please believe me."  
  
    "I believe you," Dean grumbled, looking back down at the infant in his arms. The baby's cherubic, chubby face was ruddy; blue eyes tracking his face. The top of its head was covered in a downy layer of wavy, dark-honey colored hair. He stared a moment longer. "So..." he turned back to Amariel. "Explain this."  
  
    "It's a baby," she said. "A nephilim, actually." she turned back to her brother. "Your negotiations with Raph may go a little south when he finds out what you did. Rebelling, fighting against him, and lying with humans is one thing. Creating a nephilim..." she sighed, turning back to Dean. "That's a whole other story."  
  
    "What's a nephilim?" Dean asked. It was Bobby who answered.  
  
    "It's the child of a human and an angel." he said, his voice sounding a bit rough with shock. "The bible says they were giants... abominations..."  
  
    " _Lies_ ," Castiel insisted, looking helplessly to Dean. "Warnings from our Father when man was young."  
  
    Amariel sighed.  
  
    "Some still take it literally." she said. "Especially those who are less than fond of humans."  
  
    The room turned at the unexpectedness of Sam's question.  
  
    "So this baby," he began slowly, staring into his brother's face. "Is Dean and Castiel's?" he looked to Bobby. "Where did it come from?"  
  
    Bobby shook his head, taking off his hat to run a hand through his hair before settling it back.  
  
    "There was this bight light,” the old hunter began, his expression grim. “I couldn't look right at it. It just sort of burst out of him. Then when it cleared, this wee thing was laying beside him, covered in blood, but still as night. That's when you two came back in and... and that's all I know."  
  
    Dean looked to his brother. As shocked and confused and unbalanced as he was feeling, he was worried what his little brother was thinking.  
  
    "Sammy?" he asked hoarsely. The younger Winchester slowly sat at his brother's side, pulling back the towel to reveal the child's tiny face.  
  
    "I'm an uncle..." Sam murmured, turning his eyes up to Dean. He smiled at his older brother, eyes glassy with tears. "I'm an uncle." Dean gave a relieved huff of laughter until Sam continued. "That makes you a dad."  
  
    Dean's smile faded and he looked down at the baby. Its wide blue eyes were now blinking sleepily; its tiny, pink mouth opening in a yawn. Dean’s heart felt heavy, like it was thudding in his chest. After all he'd been through... this would have never been what he was expecting. He looked up at Castiel, who still wore an expression of apprehension and slight fear.  
  
    "This is ours, Cas?" he asked, partly for confirmation that he didn't spontaneously create it on his own, partly to let the Angel hear him say it. "Right?"  
  
    Castiel nodded, sinking onto the bed opposite Sam.  
  
    "Dean,” he answered, his voice strained. “I'm so so-"  
  
    "Don't you dare," Dean warned gruffly, tears stinging in his eyes. "Don't you dare be sorry."  
  
    Castiel closed his mouth, swallowing the lump in his throat and shaking his head. Bobby turned from the scene.  
  
    "You're all a bunch'a sissies," he announced as he left the room, but his voice was unmistakably thick. Sam smiled, jumping to his feet.  
  
    "I'll go to the store!" he announced, leaning down to kiss Dean theatrically on the forehead. "We need stuff - diapers and stuff! I'll be right back." he leaned over to lay another kiss happily on the top of Castiel's head before dashing from the room. Amariel sighed.  
  
    "I should leave you two," she spoke, smiling down at the new family. "Congratulations brother," she said, well aware that they were ignoring her. "I'll return later, with gifts as promised."  
  
    The rushing of wings went unnoticed as Castiel scooted in closer to Dean to look down upon the child. Dean shook his head slowly.  
  
    "I'm freakin' out right now," he whispered, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the baby’s perfect, pretty face. "I think I'm having an out of body experience..."  
  
    "I had no idea, Dean, really," Castiel explained, watching as Dean moved the towels to reveal tiny arms, and tiny fists ending in perfect tiny fingers. Cas watched as the younger man ran a finger over the baby’s chubby hand and amazed that the little fingers reflectively reached to close over his at the touch. "I am woefully ignorant in a lot of things and it is inexcusable that I put your life in danger..."  
  
    "It doesn't matter, Cas," Dean told him, awed by the now sleeping face of his child. His child. It was an amazing realization. Maybe not planned, certainly not expected, but could he really complain? Dean sighed, getting a better hold on the baby in one arm so he could reach down and touch Cas’s hand. "None of it matters... Just this. This and Sam and Bobby... and you."  
  
    Castiel's jaw tightened, moved by Dean's sentiment. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Dean's cheek. Dean turned, catching Cas’s mouth before he could pull away and kissing him back with intense emotion. When he pulled back, Cas settled closer to Dean's side and they both stared down at their sleeping child. Dean kept the baby cradled in one arm, the other reaching back to stroke Castiel's neck as he lay his head on Dean's shoulder.  
  
    Dean was exhausted, shaken, and confused, but he felt a fierce, overwhelming surge of protective anger course through his veins. It wasn't just Sammy that he had to protect now. He had to protect them all. And he'd be damned if he failed as a father. He would not not be like his own.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Sam returned to the house a half hour later, talking animatedly about all of the things he saw and bought, and saw but didn't buy. The first thing out of Dean's mouth was:  
  
    "But you bought diapers, right?"  
  
    "I bought two sizes," Sam told him happily, setting the second load of bags on the floor. "There was newborn size zero and newborn size one. Not sure what the difference is."  
  
    Dean grimaced, ripping open the first pack of diapers and pulling one from the bag.  
  
    "Whichever size is "pees-through-a-terrycloth-towel-and-onto-my-Metalica-‘Monsters of Rock ‘88'-tour-t-shirt," he replied, before looking to his brother. "D'jyou get those wet wipes?"  
  
    Sam dug through four bags before pulling out the wet wipes and opening them for his brother. Dean gently lay the towel-swaddled baby down on the sofa, shh’ing softly when the motion caused the beginnings of a cry. He plucked a couple wet wipes from the container Sam held out to him, and he gently cleaned the naked infant. The other three men looked on as though he were performing open heart surgery.  
  
    "D'jyou get a hold of Jody, Bobby?" Dean asked, awkwardly sliding the diaper under the naked child and fastening it closed. It looked like the baby was wearing a lumpy, baggy trash bag.  
  
    "Already on her way." Bobby replied, watching Dean re-do his work. "She's dead curious what the emergency is. I thought it better to tell her in person, rather than sound like a loon over the phone. Didn't want her to call 911 'cause she thought I was having a stroke.” Dean nodded in agreement. "How you feeling anyway, kid?" Bobby asked.  
  
    Dean sighed, shrugging as he took the white onsie that Sam handed him next. He suppressed a grin at the way Sam crawled to the side of the sofa, his eyes full of adoration for the tiny infant.    
  
    "I feel fine.” Dean told Bobby, delicately lifting the baby to hold against his chest. “Certainly not like I birthed a baby out of frontal lobe an hour ago..."  
  
    "Well that's something," Bobby laughed, handing a beer to Castiel. The Angel sat silently at Dean’s side, still looking a bit shell-shocked. He took a drink, but kept his eyes on the child. Bobby gave his shoulder a gentle nudge. "What about you, boy?"  
  
    Castiel looked up at the hunter.  
  
    "I am mortified,” he admitted. “but faring considerably well considering that I have made Dean happy, and that makes up for my error."  
  
    Dean grimaced and Sam threw back his head and laughed.  
  
    "Spare us the details, Cas," Sam told him. "Let's just appreciate the miracle."  
  
    Dean took the bottle from the Angel's hand and set it on the coffee table before gently shifting the tiny baby in his arms. The infant fussed, little arms and legs flailing. Castiel seemed to sink back, but he held out his arms obediently as Dean brought the child closer to him. Cas cradled the baby stiffly against his chest, looking down into its face. He had to admit, the child was beautiful;  his eyes, Dean's mouth, hair just a bit lighter than Dean’s, but wavy like his. Perfection.  
  
    Dean leaned down and kissed the baby gently on the forehead before picking up Cas’s beer.  
  
    "I think we should have a toast," he announced, looking down at the child. Sam smiled broadly at the intense look of pride in his brother's eyes. He raised his own bottle, as did Bobby. Dean continued. "To family." he didn't look over at Bobby or Cas as he continued, but they knew his words were for them as well. "Including family not bound by blood. And to my daughter," he reached over and smoothed his hand over the baby's blonde curls. "Mary Winchester."     
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Jody stood dumbfounded, looking down at the sleeping infant in the middle of a blanket draped over the sofa cushion. Once she had arrived at the salvage yard, she was inundated with an introduction to the story of angels and the backstory that lead up why she was standing there know. She looked up at the men standing on the opposite side of the couch. Bobby wore the neutral expression of "so what?" that he always did, Dean looked nervously conflicted, and Castiel looked nervously guilty.  
  
    Sam looked as though he were having the _best week ever_.  
  
    "Where'd you get it?" Jody asked. "Rescue it from some job?"  
  
    "She's not an 'it'!" Dean exclaimed, his voice dropping when the other three men 'shh'ed him. He grimaced, looking at the baby for any signs of waking. When he was satisfied that she remained sleeping peacefully, he continued. "She's a 'she'. And her name is Mary."  
  
    "Mary," Jody repeated. "How old is she? Days?"  
  
    "Hours," Castiel replied.  
  
    The sheriff narrowed her eyes, looking from Cas to Dean to Bobby.  
  
    "Look Jody, it's a long story," Bobby told her.  
  
    “It gets _longer_?” Jody said with a snort of amusement. Bobby frowned.  
  
.     "We just thought, of all the people we knew who know about babies,” he told her. “well, it wasn't any of us."  
  
    Jody narrowed her eyes, staring cooly at them a moment more before speaking.  
  
    "So... you were there when she was born?" she asked. All of them nodded. Jody sighed, rubbing a hand through the back of her short hair. "Have you fed her yet?" The looks on their faces told her they hadn't even considered it. "You didn't feed her?" she asked, shocked.  
  
    "Don't they cry when they're hungry?" Dean demanded, embarrassed by his apparently lack of knowledge. "She hasn't cried yet!"  
  
    "She may not even need food," Castiel added. Jody gave him a dry look.  
  
    "Babies need food, Castiel," she explained. "Especially newborns. They should eat every two to four hours. You definitely should have fed her by now."  
  
    " _I_ don't eat," Cas replied. "So it's not irrational to think-"  
  
    Dean raised a hand that silenced the Angel at once. Jody didn't need to hear any more to make the right conclusion.  
  
    "Is she an Angel? Is this your daughter, Castiel?" she asked. Castiel looked to those around him, waiting for a cue. Dean gave a subtle nod.  
  
    "Yes," Cas replied, looking down at the baby on the sofa. "She is... my daughter."  
  
    "Well that's a different story," Jody sighed, setting down next to the infant. She placed a hand on the child's belly and watched her breathe a moment. She turned back to Cas. "Where's her mother? What happened."  
  
    Castiel stammered a moment before Dean placed a hand on his arm.  
  
    "Sheriff," he spoke resignedly. "Look, I’m really thankful and grateful for you coming out - you can't even know how much. But, even though this situation is probably as weird as any hunt any of us has ever been on, you know way more about babies than the four of us put together. So... if you could please just take a look at her and tell us she's okay?"  
  
    Jody watched him a moment the same as she had with Cas. Finally, she nodded.  
  
    "Come here, sweetheart," she cooed, lifting the baby up into her arms. Mary began fussing, unhappy with being taken from the comfy cushion. Jody didn't miss the way both Cas and Dean made movements toward her, but restrained themselves. "Well, I'm no pediatrician, certainly not for angels, but she looks healthy. Color's good." she held the baby for a few moments, rocking her gently. A smile turned Jody’s lips, and she l looked back up at Castiel. “She is certainly a pretty little thing.”  
  
    Castiel nodded in agreement, and Dean smiled proudly. Several seconds later, Mary's fussing became full blown wails.  
  
    "That's the first time she's cried!" Sam exclaimed, setting down next to the Sheriff where the baby once lay. "Is she hungry? Wet? Cold?"  
  
    Jody chuckled, readjusting the baby's position in her arms.  
  
    "Well, doesn't appear wet. And it's pretty warm in here," she looked up at Castiel. "You boys buy any baby formula?"  
  
    "Baby what?" Cas replied with a frown. Sam reached forward and pulled one of the shopping bags toward himself.  
  
    "Yeah, we did." he replied quickly. "I got Similac, Infamil..." Jody looked at the cans of formula that Sam held. She pointed to the one formulated for newborns.  
  
    "Mix up six ounces of that in a bottle. A baby bottle." she clarified, just in case.  
  
    Sam nodded, jumping to his feet and digging through another bag for a bottle before dashing from the room.  
  
    "He's pretty gung-ho," she commented with a laugh. "You sure this ain't his baby?"  
  
    Both Castiel and Dean looked mortified by the question. Jody laughed harder at their reactions, not understanding the significance. Sam returned.  
  
    "I did it. And I checked the temperature on my wrist - it's just warm," he reported to her.  
  
    Jody smiled.  
  
    "Good boy," she remarked, taking the bottle from him and pressing it to the inside of her forearm to test the temperature as well. "Well, Castiel," she said to the Angel. "This is your little girl's first meal. You think you should be the one to do this?"  
  
    Castiel looked stunned, and he turned his eyes to Dean. Dean gave a nod of his head and Cas moved slowly around the front of the sofa and sat down beside the hunter. The sheriff slowly transferred the baby into his arms, making sure he was holding her properly before handing him the bottle.  
  
    "Just make sure you hold the bottle upright enough... that's it,"  
  
    Dean smiled, looking down at Cas and Mary. For a moment, there was no one else in the room.  
  
    Jodi crossed her arms over her chest, watching the Angel a moment as he held the baby rigidly in his arms, as if afraid to move.    
  
    "Can I talk to you guys a moment?" She asked, looking to Bobby and Dean. She gave a nod of her head to the kitchen, and they followed her from the room. She stopped by the back door, turning to them with narrowed eyes. "What's going on with Castiel?" she asked. "I’m new to all this angel business, but did he take that baby from Heaven? Was he supposed to?"  
  
    "It's a long, long story," Bobby replied, leaning back against the sink and crossing his arms. Dean was watching the living room, only half paying attention. After a moment, he turned.  
  
    "Jody, we don't know exactly what or how this happened, but Cas didn’t take this baby from Heaven, she was born here... on Earth." he explained. "But that baby doesn't exactly have a _mother_." Jody’s eyebrows raised in surprise. "So, whatever you can do to help us get through this... I'd appreciate it?"  
  
    Jody was quiet a moment, staring at Dean as she tried to figure out exactly what these boys had managed this time. She wasn’t sure they even knew what was going on.  
  
    "So this baby is only half-Angel?" she asked, getting nods in response. "Which makes her half-human, I guess? So, there should be some things familiar enough then.” she rested her hands on her hips, pursing her lips as she considered the situation. “First thing, then, If you all intend to raise her on Earth, she's going to need vaccinations and she’s going to need a birth certificate.”  
  
    Bobby frowned, scratching the side of his chin.  
  
    “Been a while since I forged a birth cert,” he commented thoughtfully, ignoring the Sheriff’s disapproving grimace. “It’s not going to be easy, especially since they've become so high-tech,"  
  
    Dean gave a groan of frustration, running a hand through his hair. Bobby turned to him.  
  
    "You'allright, boy?" he asked. Dean grimaced, looking back out into the living room.  
  
    "I don't want her to have a forged birth certificate," he sighed heavily, a look of utter misery on his face. Bobby gave him a pat on the back.  
  
    "There's not a whole lot of options in situations like this, son," he said sympathetically. Jody tapped her chin, thoughtfully.  
  
    "I may know a guy who can get you a legitimate birth certificate," She said, causing Dean to look up hopefully. Jody held up a hand. "Now, I'm not promising anything," she continued. "He’s a doctor who moved into town about six or seven years ago. He’s a bit odd; an old country doctor-type. He’s issued birth certs for families when they didn’t want to name exactly who was mom or pop,"  
  
    Dean grimaced, looking slightly ill.  
  
    "I might just rather have a forged document," he grumbled. Dean considered the options a moment before sighing. "So this doctor... he's a legit doctor?"  
  
    Jody nodded.  
  
    "He's legit,” she assured him. “I didn’t mean to insinuate he’s helped cover up something immoral - he's just has his own share of dealing with the unusual or supernatural. I'll give him a call," she returned to the living room to get her phone. Dean turned to Bobby.  
  
    "I'm sorry about all this trouble, Bobby," he said, sighing. “You probably think we’re never clearing out of here...”  
  
    Bobby shook his head, waving Dean's words away.  
  
    "This ain't no trouble, son," he told him. "You all stay as long as you like. We need to get you boys on your feet and keep you there before we worry about anything else." Dean gave him a look of gratitude.  
  
    "Thank you,"  
  
    When Jody returned to the room, Castiel was with her. Dean raised his eyebrows.  
  
    "The baby done eating?" he asked. Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "Sam wanted to do it," he explained. "What are you calling a doctor for? Do you think there is something wrong with Mary?" his voice was concerned, matching the expression on his face.  
  
    "No," Dean assured him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Jody here knows a doc that can get us a legit birth record; so Mary can.. you know, eventually go to school and get a passport."  
  
    "I see," Castiel replied. He turned to the sheriff, his eyes narrowed. "So this doctor, he can help us?"  
  
    "I’m pretty sure he can," Jody replied. "He said he's make sure she has all her vaccinations and is healthy, and he'd issue you a birth certificate."  
  
    "That's really great, Jody," Dean said, relieved. She shook her head.  
  
    "Well, unfortunately, he's on the East coast right now so it will be a few days before he can get here-"  
  
    "But my baby needs a doctor tonight," Dean exclaimed. Castiel was the one to calm him with a raised hand.  
  
    "Where is this doctor?" he asked. Jody showed him the location that the doctor had texted her. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "I will return,"  
  
    Before anyone could stop him, Castiel disappeared into thin air. Dean took the sheriff’s phone, but before he could make a call, Castiel had returned. With him, was a dark-haired young man in a panama hat.  
  
    "Forgive me for this inconvenience," Castiel spoke, to the man at his side. "But, as I said, this is urgent."  
  
    The doctor waived him off, removing his hat.  
  
    "Please, that's not even in my top twenty of weird relocations." he turned to the others, smiling warmly at them. "Hi Jody,"  
  
    "Marty," she returned, smiling and accepting his hug. "Thank you for coming on such short notice and... so abruptly"  
  
    "Not at all," he replied with a smile. “I’m happy to help. Evening, Bobby.”  
  
    Bobby gave the man a nod, and Jody continued the introduction.  
  
    “This is Dr. Martin Riggs,” she began, and the doctor move his black bag to his left hand so he could shake Dean’s with his right. “Marty, this is Castiel, and Dean Winchester.”  
  
    “Pleasure,” Dr. Riggs spoke, shaking Castiel’s hand as well "Now, I hear you have a special little one here?"  
  
    "Very special," Castiel told him.  
  
    Dean directed the doctor toward the living room and Bobby, Cas, and Jody followed behind. Sam was holding Mary over his shoulder, gently patting her back. Sam didn't want to give Mary up right away, but the group watched with baited breath as Dr. Riggs listened to her heart and lungs, completing as full of a check-up as he could when not in a medical office. Once he checked her over as thoroughly as he could, he handed her back to her uncle. The baby was crying piteously from having the vaccinations, and Sam cuddled her against his chest to soothe her. The doctor dug through his bag and removed a blank certificate of birth for Minnehaha County, South Dakota.  
  
    "I'll have to estimate the birth weight," he told them as he filled in the other information. Castiel interrupted.  
  
    "She weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces at birth," he told the doctor. "I'm certain."  
  
    Dr. Riggs gave an impressed nod.  
  
    "I was going to say 7-3," he replied, noting the weight on the certificate. "So, her full name?"  
  
    "Mary Samantha Winchester," Dean told him, watching the doctor write the information across the blue tinted page, while Sam grinned broadly.     
  
    "Parent number one?" he asked, looking up. Dean cleared his throat.  
  
    "Dean Jonathan Winchester," he replied, his stomach turning uneasily as he saw Jody’s eyebrows raise. She didn’t comment, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Dr. Riggs looked back up.  
  
    "Parent number two?" he asked. Dean turned to the man at his side. He looked into Cas’s eyes, his mouth turning up at the corner as he replied.  
  
    "Castiel Winchester."  
  
    Sam watched the doctor write out the names before handing the document to both parents to sign. He held the baby close to himself, as if protecting her from the outsider.  
  
    Dean spoke to the doctor.  
  
    "I'm sorry if this seems rather... shocking."  
  
    Dr. Riggs smiled broadly, placing his hat back on his head.  
  
    "This? Please," he replied with a laugh, "Did you miss the time zombies were in town? So this?” he clicked his pen closed, stowing it in his bag before grinning around at them. “I don't even think you really tried."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Once Dr. Riggs gave Mary a clean bill of health and a certificate to prove she existed, Castiel took him back to the East and dropped him where he found him. It was approaching midnight when Jody decided to return home, and after walking her to her car, Bobby excused himself to turn in for the night.  
  
    Sam sat on the floor beside the sofa, watching the baby transfixedly as she slept. Dean sat at her side, with Cas beside him. Sam was the first to speak.  
  
    "She needs a crib," he said, sighing. "You think there's any place open this late that sells them? I mean, good ones?"  
  
    Dean shook his head, stretching the kinks out of his neck.  
  
    "She'll sleep easy enough right here tonight," he said. "I'll go out first thing. Why don't you hit the sack. You can go with me tomorrow."  
  
    "Sure," Sam agreed, but there was reluctance in his eyes as he looked upon the baby. Dean's mouth pulled in a smile as he watched Sam lean forward and gently kiss the baby on her head before rising to his feet. "Good night Dean," he reached out for his brothers hand, squeezing it before letting it go. "Good night Cas,"  
  
    "Good night, Sam," Castiel responded, looking up at the younger man. Sam stood in front of him, waiting patiently with his hand outstretched. Castiel looked at it. Hesitantly, he reached out and lay his hand in Sam's. Sam smiled, squeezing the Angel's hand before letting him go and walking down the hall to his room.  
  
    Dean relaxed against the couch, leaning his head back and running a hand over his eyes. Castiel watched him closely. He was quiet a moment before speaking.  
  
    "Dean... how are you feeling?" he asked quietly. Dean sighed heavily, dropping his hand and rolling his head to the side so he could look at the Angel.  
  
    "Like I told Bobby," he said, his voice gruff with exhaustion. "I feel fine. Pain's gone, like it never was." he watched Cas who turned his eyes to look down at their daughter.  
  
    "That's... not what I mean," Castiel continued. Dean sighed again.  
  
    Sam paused in the hallway, having been on his way back into the living room to get his phone that he had left on the floor by the couch. When he heard the Angel's question, he stopped, standing still. From his place at the end of the hall, he could see his brother and Castiel setting in the dim light of the living room. Sam waited for the answer, concerned to hear the answer as well.  
  
    "I don't know what you want me to say, Cas," Dean told him. "I don't have anything to add to what I've already said."  
  
    Castiel's deep voice was soft as he answered.  
  
    "I just want the truth." he said to the younger man. "I just want to know that... we're okay,"  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed and he lifted his head, looking straight at the Angel.  
  
    "How could we not be okay?" he asked. The tone in his voice announcing how serious he was. Castiel dropped his eyes.  
  
    "This... this is so very sudden. I'm not sorry," he added quickly. "I'm not sorry. I just feel... responsible. That I... that I somehow..."  
  
    "Cas," Dean spoke, his voice gentler than it had been before. "Look. I know this is weird for you," Castiel tried to interrupt, but Dean held up a hand. "This is weird for both of us. But Cas, I wouldn't change one damn thing at this moment. Not a damn thing." both of them turned to the little girl sleeping peacefully at their side. Dean turned back to the Angel and smiled. "Not every day a guy get's to knock up Dean Winchester," he laughed, slipping a hand behind Castiel's head. "You should count yourself as lucky,"  
  
    Cas shook his head as Dean pulled him close.  
  
    "I... I don't know what that means," he said before Dean silenced him with a kiss.  
  
    Sam grimaced. It was insanely surreal to watch his brother kissing Castiel. But the way he cradled the back of the Angel's head; the slow, soft kisses he placed on the other man's lips... that was love. He'd never seen Dean touch someone like that. Hell, he'd only ever touched one person like that himself. He was happy for Dean, but he wasn't going to hang around and watch him make-out with Cas. He'd get his phone in the morning.  
  
    Dean pulled Cas closer, forcing him to turn where he sat in order to slip his arms around Dean's neck.  
  
    "Dean," he said, and the tone in his voice caused the younger man to pull away. Castiel settled back at his side, his eyes warily watching the newborn as she began to squirm.  
  
    "You wanna grab me a diaper?" Dean asked.  
  
    Castiel stood and retrieved the items Dean would need, watching the young hunter gently turn the baby onto her back and unfasten the onesie to remove her diaper. He took the items from Cas, neatly cleaning her up and doing a much better job on the diaper than he had the last time.  
  
    "Just like riding a bike," Dean announced happily, grinning at the Angel. "It took me a few, but I remember all right," he pulled the baby into his arms, cradling her against his shoulder. Cast settled back at his side.  
  
    "You _remember_?" he asked. Dean gave a smirk.  
  
    "I've been taking care of Sammy since he was six months old," he explained. "I've changed a fair few diapers in my day."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to one side.  
  
    "But..." he began slowly as his mind worked out the math that seemed to be incomprehensible. "You were... just a child." Dean's expression faltered a fraction of a second, but he only shrugged.  
  
    "Yeah, well... someone had to be the adult, take care of Sam," he replied, casually. "I learned a lot."  
  
    Cas looked mortified. Dean had never seen that particular expression on his face. It was slightly funny, until he spoke.  
  
    "You were _a child_ ,"  
  
    Dean gave him a warning look.  
  
    "Drop it, Cas,"  
  
    Castiel was quiet, staring across at Dean. The younger man knew that expression, had seen it on Sam's face too many times to count. It was the expression of 'this is not the end of this conversation' look. He sighed, ignoring Cas's face in favor of cuddling his cheek against Mary's soft hair. His heart felt full. He just couldn't explain it any other way.  
  
    "You think Cas is still givin' me that look, even though I told him to let it go?" he murmured to the baby. He could hear the Angel's soft exhale of exasperation, but he didn’t respond. Dean cuddled the baby against his throat, bringing her tiny hand to his lips. “Let me tell you what, Cas,” he said, looking over at the other man. “I kind of can’t give a damn about all that right now. I mean... I freakin’... made a baby!” he chuckled a moment, looking down at the little girl. “I’m too busy trying to figure that out.”  
  
    “I’ll make inquiries,” Castiel said softly, “I just never meant to harm you, Dean...”  
  
    Dean gave a snort of amusement.  
  
    “You didn’t hurt me,” he said, turning to look back at the Angel. “Quite frankly, I don’t know what you did, but you didn’t hurt me. And I can’t say I was blameless in this. It takes two to tango, hm?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “But... we’ll get through this, right? I think we’re together in this?”  
  
    “For as long as you desire,” Castiel told him. Dean smirked, blushing slightly. He moved to lay back against Cas, forcing the Angel to put his arms around him. He heard Cas kiss the baby, and Dean smiled. "I'm gonna fall asleep," he told Cas, closing his eyes. "Don't let her fall out of my arms, okay?"  
  
    "I won't," Castiel assured him. "...I won't."  
  
    Dean relaxed into the strength behind him, pulling his feet up onto the sofa and crossing his ankles. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, kissing him once just below the ear. The action made Dean moan softly and tilt his head to the side.  
  
    "I'm sorry," Cas spoke quietly, "I see that is probably inappropriate at this moment."  
  
    "Ya think?" Dean replied with a smile, his eyes still closed. Castiel blushed, resting his head on the back of the couch.  
  
    "Good night, Dean," he said. Dean reached down, resting his hand on the Angel's thigh and giving it an affectionate squeeze.  
  
    "Good night, buddy,"  
      
    Castiel smiled, letting the young man fall asleep in his arms and watching over him until the sun began to rise.  
  
    Just before the first occupants of the house began to wake, Cas gently disentangled himself from beneath the hunter and lay him back onto the sofa. He looked down at the baby girl sleeping soundly on her father's chest. He tilted his head, unaware of the smile that came to his lips. But just as quickly as it came, it faded. He reached down, laying a hand on her back and concentrated his mind on etching the appropriate sigils into her bones. The baby whined, and Dean was immediately awake.  
  
    "What are you doing?" he demanded, pulling himself up and holding the child to his chest. He was staring at Castiel in incredulous horror.  
  
    "Protecting her from Raphael," Cas replied grimly, "I can't be certain that what my sister says isn't true. That Raphael, or others, may feel that this child is... is an abomination. I want to hide her from them. Until we can be sure."  
  
    "You think we should have talked about that first?" Dean snapped, gently repositioning the infant into the crook of his arm.  
  
    "I didn't hurt her," Castiel spoke, almost defensively. Dean sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  
  
    "I know," he replied, blinking his tired eyes and stifling a yawn.  
  
    "Go back to sleep, Dean," Castiel advised. "Just sleep,"  
  
    Dean shook his head.  
  
    "Nah, I just need some coffee. Take her a minute," he stood up, holding out the baby. Castiel took a step back.  
  
    "I'm... I'm not good with this..."  
  
    "Get used to it, champ," Dean replied, forcing Castiel to accept the infant into his arms. "She's your daughter, too."  
  
    Castiel stood motionless, wishing he were sitting but afraid to make a move toward the couch. He waited until Dean returned with a mug of coffee. He shook his head in disbelief at the Angel.  
  
    "Dude," he spoke, setting down, placing the coffee on the end table and holding out his hands. "They're stronger than they look."  
  
    Castiel frowned, moving slowly to place the baby into the hunter's grasp.  
  
    "I am an Angel of the Lord, Dean," he grumbled, seemingly relieved when she was safely in her father's arms. "I'm stronger than I look, too.'"  
  
    "Touche," Dean agreed. Castiel retrieved another diaper and the wipes as Dean lay her at his side. He watched silently as Dean changed her. Dean was aware of the silence of the house,  
  
    "I need to see my brothers," Cas told the younger man, solemnly. Dean looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "I have to find out the climate in Heaven. I need... information."  
  
    Dean considered his words carefully, before shrugging.  
  
    "You do what you gotta do, Cas," he replied. "You give them a word from me, why don'tcha."  
  
    Cas took a deep breath, nodding. He didn't need to know what that word was; he was pretty sure he knew.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Castiel left Dean's side and returned to a quiet corner of Heaven, summoning his closest brothers in silent prayer. Gabriel was the first to arrive, followed reluctantly by Balthazar. Both appeared uninterested in Castiel's call, but were quite enthralled once he began talking.  
  
    "Brothers," he entreated them. "I need your council,"  
  
    Balthazar raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his torso.  
  
    "From what I hear, little brother, you need no one's council." he said smoothly. "You're doing just fine,"  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed.  
  
    "What have you heard?"  
  
    Gabriel was the one to reply.  
  
    "We've heard you finally gave up your halo. To Dean Winchester,"  
  
    Castiel turned to him.  
  
    "I still have my halo." he replied, confused. After a a second, he shook his head, understanding. "Ah - I gave him my virginity. That is what you meant. I already told you that."  
  
    Gabriel stifled a laugh with his fist and Balthazar rolled his eyes.  
  
    "Yes, Castiel," he sighed, setting back on a bench that magically appeared behind him. "And what didn't you understand about it?"  
  
    Castiel shook his head, holding up a hand.  
  
    "I understood it.” he replied, matter-of-factly.  “Dean is... quite masterful,"  
  
    "Brother," Balthazar groaned. "Please just get on with it,"  
  
    Castiel nodded, settling down on the bench between his older siblings. He took a deep breath.  
  
    "We inadvertently created a nephilim," he announced, looking from one shocked face to the other. "Inadvertently," he reiterated. "She's quite harmless and lovely. We've named her Mary."  
  
    Gabriel grabbed Cas by his tie, pulling him around.  
  
    "Are you insane?!" he asked. "Why would you do that?!"  
      
    Castiel tried to extricate his tie from the other angel's iron grip.  
  
    "Did you hear that it was inadvertent?" he asked. "I have no idea what we did to produce such a result."  
  
    "Don't you?" Balthazar asked. Castiel turned, intrigued by the normally cool angel's pale pallor. "Castiel - not that I'm a stranger to fornicating with the lesser races - but, you can't just do the horizontal tango with a human and not expect consequences."  
      
    Gabriel nodded.  
  
    "Sometimes there's burning,"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "I'm sorry, I don't understand." he replied. "You seem to be inferring that we procreated through physical intimacy, but... I just don't see how that is possible."  
  
    Gabriel sighed.  
  
    "Didn't you read that book we gave you?" he asked. Castiel stood and moved away from them.  
  
    "Brothers, please," he begged, "What could cause this? How is this possible? And what... what can prevent it?"  
  
    Balthazar and Gabriel exchanged curious looks before turning back to the younger Angel.  
  
    "Intent," Balthazar replied simply. Castiel tilted his head, his brows drawing together.  
  
    "Intent?"  
  
    His brother nodded.  
  
    "Which of you was the nephilim drawn from?" Balthazar continued. He waved his hand dismissively. "You, I'm guessing,"  
      
    Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "It was Dean," he replied, missing the significant look that passed between the two other men. "She... she sort of projected out of his head. In a blaze of light and heat..."  
  
    Gabriel raised his eyebrows.  
  
    "Huh... I take back everything I thought about him. Well," he amended. "Most of it." Castiel sighed heavily, prompting the trickster to continue. "Angel's procreate by their intention, Cas, not by accidental combination of bodily fluids, but by will of spirit." he could tell by Castiel's expression that he didn't understand. "You have to _want_ it, Cas. You have to have conscious desire."

   The younger Angel blinked.  
  
    "...what?"  
  
    Balthazar leaned back, crossing his long legs and shrugging.  
  
    "Apparently, that means your Mr Winchester had a conscious desire to create a family with you during your... "coupling"... that's why the child was born of his spirit, and not yours."  
  
    Castiel stood quietly, staring fixedly at the grass beneath his feet but not seeing any of it. It was such a revelation. A beautiful, impossible, overwhelming revelation.     
  
    "Dean... wanted a family with me...?" he asked awed.  
  
    Gabriel nodded.  
  
    "Appears so.”  
  
    Castiel shook his head.  
  
    “How is that even possible? I am an Angel, he is a human man.”  
  
    Balthazar put a hand to his eyes and shook his head. Gabriel sighed.  
  
    “This is a very, very old type of magic, Cas,” he replied, wearily. “Ancient and very powerful. The intent of spirit. The will of soul... It transcends the physical. He couldn’t have done it alone, of course. It was something that you must have wanted as well.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, looking back into his brother’s solemn faces.  
  
    “I’ve never willfully concealed my affection for Dean,” he replied. Balthazar shrugged.  
  
    “And It’s been tolerated up until now,” he told the younger Angel.  “But it won’t make our big brother very happy. Once he finds out... it won’t be good."  
  
    "I've hid her from him." Castiel explained. "Our talks have been going so well I... I don't want to lose what ground we've taken. Peace in Heaven is crucial to peace on Earth and I need that even more now. For.. my family. All of you,"  
  
    Balthazar stood, reaching out to take hold of the younger man's shoulder.  
  
    "Do you even know what you are doing, little brother?" he asked, gravely. Castiel nodded. His deep blue eyes looked imploringly from one to the other.  
  
    "I want to live with my family." he told them. "I want to raise my daughter with Dean. I... I want to live my life with them. Please, brothers..."  
  
    Gabriel and Balthazar looked to each other. As much as they wanted to live on the outskirts of heaven, even they knew where to draw the lines to avoid undue scrutiny. It would take a lot of effort to hide Castiel's secret for as long as they could. But, there wasn't another Angel that they would do it for. Balthazar nodded.  
  
    "Fine." he agreed, giving Cas a light slap on the cheek. "But once you get found out, we'll deny knowing anything."  
  
    "I understand," Castiel agreed. "Thank you," he hesitated a moment before continuing. "Brother... do you know..." he sighed. "How do I ... What if we don't want..."  
  
    "This," Gabriel smirked, taking Cas by the hand and producing a sharpie from out of thin air. He drew a sigil on his brother's palm. "Just etch that where it counts. It will keep away that dreaded flitter-flutter of little wings." Castiel's look of gratitude made both older men laughed. He thanked them again before turning to leave. He stop suddenly, looking back at them.  
  
    "And it can be removed?" he asked, his Angelic face solemn once again. "If needed?..."  
  
    Gabriel spread his hands.  
  
    "You put it on, you can take it off," he replied. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Thank you... both of you. Please, come see Mary. She..." he smiled, warmly. It gave him a radiance that the other Angel's had never experienced from the usually serious, battle hardened Castiel. "She is beautiful."  
  
    He didn't seem to take their noncommittal replies as declinations, and Castiel disappeared. Balthazar sighed heavily.  
  
    "He hasn't fallen, so much as flung himself away, hasn't he?" he asked, collapsing back onto the bench that Gabriel sank onto. "How long does he think he can hide this from Heaven?"  
  
    "Who knows," Gabriel replied. "But... if anyone deserves a bit a time out of the spotlight, it's him... damnit."  
  
    The angels sat silently together, weighing their options, trying to determine the best course of action to help their wayward brother. He needed protection. Dean Winchester may be a pain in their collective asses, but he was important to Castiel, and therefore important to them.  
  
    "Maybe it's a phase," Balthazar reasoned, "I went through that virgin sacrifice phase during 710... remember that?"  
  
    Gabriel smiled in spite of himself, but shook his head.  
  
    "This is Cassy we're talking about." he reminded his brother. "Puritanical, rule-following, order-of-Heaven Castiel. Who, in the last several thousand years, has failed to be tempted by nymphs, seraphs, and devout, trusting souls. Who strode forward to volunteer to lead the charge and pull the Winchester boy out of the fiery pit," he shook his head sadly. "Nothing but the most steadfast devotion could turn Castiel from one of the leaders of the Heavenly Host to lying on his back for a human. And he loves that human, Bal. You can practically see the worship _rolling_ off of him."  
  
    "Disgusting, I know," Balthazar remarked. "I think it's safer all around if we do our best to hush this up,"  
  
    "Couldn't agree more," Gabriel said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
    While setting alone in the living room, holding his daughter, drinking his coffee, and watch the sun rising through the living room window, Dean had plenty of time to reflect on how drastically his life changed in the last 12 hours. Only _hours_. Not even a full day. Not to mention the way his life had changed in the last several months. He couldn't really complain, of course; something inside of him had been humming with happiness. Circumstances were crazy and confusing, but also wonderful and miraculous. And now, with Mary... with Cas... maybe he'd get a chance for the life he'd always wanted.  
  
    Of course, he didn't know how to reconcile that with the life he had.  
  
    Dean scowled, shifting and moving the baby from one arm to the other. When he looked down at her, the scowl disappeared. Mary was awake and looking up at him with the same wide, blue eyes as Cas. He ran a hand over her hair, before leaning down to kiss her forehead. The baby yawned, bringing a tiny fist up to her mouth. Dean touched her hand with his finger, amazed by how soft, and perfect, and pretty she was. He didn't realize how quickly you could fall in love with someone - Cas or Mary. But he loved them. Fiercely. He wanted to protect them, to provide for them. To given them everything... everything he never have.  
  
    Well, _had_... but had been stolen from him.  
  
    He wanted to give his child the kind of life his mother had given him. Not the life his father had. But the life of John Winchester was the life he knew. It was all he had in him. But Mary deserved better. So much better. To have a proper family. A proper life. Not to be squatting in a friends house, sleeping on a blanket over a sofa cushion. Not fed and clothed from stolen money. The very thought made him sick inside and he sat forward, trying to catch his breath while keeping his daughter securely in his arms. His chest felt like it was enclosed in an iron cage, and he was finding it difficult to draw a deep enough breath.  
  
    "Morning kid," Bobby greeted as he entered the room. "Where's yer Angel?"  
  
    "Oh," Dean replied, being pulled from his thoughts. He tried to force his voice to sound even, and not as though he couldn’t breathe. "Mornin' Bobby. Uh, Cas went to chat up his brothers for something. He'll be back."  
  
    Bobby shrugged, passing through the room to the kitchen to pour himself some coffee. He called to Dean, asking if he were hungry.  
  
    "Nah, Bobby, I'm good," he replied, taking a long drink from his cup.  
  
    "Good morning!"  
  
    Dean looked up at Sam as he came striding into the room, still in his pajamas. He sat down beside his brother, smiling eagerly.  
  
    "Can I hold her?" he asked. Dean gave a smirk, handing the baby over.  
      
    "Watch her head there, Sammy," he cautioned, keeping his palm beneath Mary’s head.  
  
    "I got her," Sam insisted, holding her close. Dean smiled, rising from the sofa and going into the kitchen with Bobby. The older man watched him as he prepared a bottle with cool precision, letting the formula drip across his inner arm to test the temperature. "Yeah, just like a bike," he murmured, returning to Sam's side. "Can you do me a favor Sammy?" he asked, handing his brother the bottle. "Can you feed her while I run an errand? I'll be back quickly."  
  
    "Of course I can!" Sam answered immediately. "No trouble."  
  
    Dean nodded.  
  
    "Just make sure you burp her after every ounce or so or she'll throw it all back up on ya," he said. Sam nodded, staring raptly down at the baby in his arms.  
  
    "I got it," he replied.  
  
    Dean watched them a minute more before shrugging and retreating to his room to shower and dress. When he returned, Sam was still dutifully tending his niece, so Dean went to join Bobby.  
  
    "Hey, I got an errand to run, so... I'll be back."  
  
    Bobby eyed him suspiciously.  
  
    "Don't be out too long. Specially since we don't know when Cas will be back."  
  
    "I won't," he answered, grabbing his coat and keys. "Sammy, if Cas isn't back in ten minutes, you summon his feathery ass right back here, got it?"  
  
    "Uh-huh," Sam replied, scrutinizing the formula level in the bottle before setting it aside and gently turning the baby over his shoulder.  
  
    Dean left the house, stepping out into the cool morning air. He crossed to the Impala, getting in and staring the engine before he even knew where he wanted to go. He just knew he needed to do something. _Something_.  
  
    After driving into town, Dean parked in front of a series of shops, staring at the signs in the windows. He signed, twisting the ring on his finger as he considered what he wanted to do. With a sigh, he exited the car, moving around to the trunk. He dug through the weapons, pulling out three or four and shoving them into his duffel bag. He slammed the trunk, hefting the bag over his shoulder and striding into the store. His dad would kill him for what he was about to do, but he didn't fucking care. He was a dad now, and he had to do what he had to do.  
  
    The shop owner looked up as he approached, crossing his arms over his chest as he scrutinized Dean.  
  
    "Can I help you?" he asked. Dean nodded, dropping the bag on the counter.  
  
    "Yeah," he answered, unzipping the green canvas. "I'm looking to sell some things."  
  
    The owner looked down at the antique guns and specialized knives.  
  
    "You legit, kid?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow at the hunter. Dean held out his hands.  
  
    "Totally legit," he replied, his expression resigned. "Just a guy with mouths to feed. Times ain't exactly easy right now, so... I sure hope you can give me a fair deal,"  
  
    The man stared at him a moment longer, before turning his eyes back down to the arsenal laid out before him.  
  
    "I think we can do that,"  
  
    Twenty minutes, five weapons and several hundred dollars later, Dean left the shop with an empty duffel bag and a full wallet. As if on a mission, he purchased a local paper from the corner stand and returned to the Impala. Castiel was home when he got back to the house, and Dean gave him a small smile - but it was the way he shifted his eyes away that raised both Castiel’s and Sam's suspicions.  
  
    "Where have you been?" Castiel asked, watching the older Winchester as he kneeled down beside his brother and kissed Mary on the top of her head. The tone in Castiel's voice caused a hush to fall over the house. Dean looked into the kitchen where Bobby was seated at the table. Dean gave a small shrug.  
  
    "Just getting a paper," he replied, holding up the Sioux Falls Gazette. "Sam wanted to go shopping this morning and I thought I'd get the ads..."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed and Sam was looking at him with a curious expression.  
  
    "Anything good?" Sam asked him. Dean shook his head.  
  
    "Didn't have a chance to look." he answered. "But, if you get ready, we can get out of here and get some stuff." Dean look across the room to Bobby. "You wouldn't mind if we leave Mary here with you while we go out?" Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but Dean's eyes silenced him.  
  
    "Of course not," Bobby replied. "You boys get what you need."  
  
    "Thank you," Dean said. "Cas, why don't you take the baby so Sam can get dressed."  
  
    Without question, Castiel moved to sit next to Sam who delicately handed the infant over. Castiel was watching Dean with a look that was part worry, part deference. After an awkward silence of about twenty minutes, Sam came jogging back into the room, hair wet and shirt untucked.  
  
    "I'm ready!" he announced, grinning sheepishly at his excitement to shop for the baby. "... I'm ready."  
  
    Bobby came into the living room, folding a blanket and laying it on the couch cushion. Castiel gently transferred the baby onto it.    
  
    "If you boys are buying baby things," he said to them as Dean retrieved the paper from the couch. "You might want to take a look at carseats - if you ever intend on taking her anywhere."  
  
    Dean nodded.  
  
    "Good call. Thanks," he replied. "We'll be back shortly. I really appreciate this."  
  
    Not a word passed between the three of them as they walked toward the Impala and got inside. Dean lay the paper across Sam's lap and his brother immediately pulled out the ads. Once they were out of the drive, Cas spoke.  
  
    "What troubles you?" he asked, looking at Dean's profile from the back seat. He could see the muscle in Dean's jaw flex and relax. His voice softened as he spoke again. "Dean?"  
  
    Dean looked into the rearview mirror, his eyes meeting Castiel's.  
  
    "I'm giving up the hunt," he announced, without trepidation in his tone. "I'm out. I can't make a living off of it, and it's no way to raise a family. I'm done." Sam turned to his brother, staring in disbelief.  
  
    "When did you decide this?" he asked. Dean gave a shake of his head.  
  
    "When the universe handed me a seven pound baby girl, Sam. That's when." he replied seriously. "I'm sorry, but I sold some of the weapons that dad left us - nothing you were partial to, but I should have asked you first. I just...." he swallowed. "I just couldn't stomach buying my child's bed on money I didn't earn."  
  
    "Dean," Sam spoke quietly. "You're being too hard on yourself. It's not like you had time to prepare for this."  
  
    Dean glanced in the mirror again, seeing Castiel's downcast eyes.  
  
    "Cas?" he said, glancing between the mirror and the rode. "Talk to me."  
  
    "I'm processing this," Castiel replied evenly.  
  
    Dean frowned, turning to look at his brother.  
  
    "Sammy?"  
  
    Sam opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He shrugged.  
  
    "I don't know what to tell you Dean," he replied. "I mean... it's your life. I don't care about the guns. I care about you and Cas and Mary."  
  
    "No 'I told you so's?" Dean demanded with a scowl. Sam shook his head. “No ‘I always told you hunting was dumb’?”  
  
    "No, Dean," he replied. "I mean...I can see why you'd want to have an ordinary life now. I want that for you. I’ve always wanted that for you. I want that for Mary. But Dean... we're not going to get there overnight."  
  
    "I'm going to do right by my child, Sam," Dean said with a tone of finality. He looked once more into the rear view mirror. "Cas? Talk to me."  
  
    "I don't know what to say you, Dean," the Angel replied. "I never expected you to give up your way for me."  
  
    Dean gave one shake of his head,  
  
    "Cas, I love you so don't take this wrong, but I ain't doing this for you." he replied. "If it was just you and me, I'd probably hunt until I couldn't anymore. This is for Mary... for the life a child _should_ be raised in. And come hell or high water, I’m going to give her that life."  
  
    "I understand," Castiel replied as the car pulled to a halt. Dean turned off the engine and Cas exited the car. Dean turned to Sam, sensing the younger man was staring at him.  
  
    "What?" he asked, confused by Sam's smile.  
  
    "You love Cas," he laughed. Dean grimaced, wrinkling his nose at his brother's remark.  
  
    "Shut up... bitch."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What are you doing here?" Sam asked, hearing Dean call from upstairs.  
>  "Sam? Is someone here?"  
>  Sam ignored the call, waiting for the angel's answer.  
>  "I'm here for your brother," Amariel replied. "I bring the first of his gifts."  
>  Sam's brow furrowed.  
>  "Gifts? What do you mean gifts?"  
>  In answer, Amariel stood to the side. Sam's eye's grew wide and his mouth dropped open as his gaze fell upon the person standing behind the angel. He took a step back, stunned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you still reading, I hope you are enjoying this. Please let me know if you'd like me to continue. I got a ton of this. :) 
> 
> Oh, this chapter is a little smutty...

**Chapter specific warning: possible trigger for anxiety/minor mentions of anxiety**

 

    Jody came to visit the salvage yard later that day to check and make sure that the four men hadn’t started a new apocalypse in the their effort to care for the newborn. She didn’t observe them long before deciding she was quite comfortable in the fact that Dean knew what he was doing and Sam was more than eager to assist. Castiel, she determined, was a long project that was Dean's responsibility to oversee. Still, Jodi offered her assistance to Dean any time he needed her.   
  
    Over the next several days, the guys fell into a steady routine structured around Mary's needs. Dean and Sam were forcing Castiel to take a more hands-on approach with the baby, much to the Angel's dismay. It wasn't that he didn't love her - as he assured Dean several times - he just did not have the confidence that he wasn't going to hurt her. Even with four men on the job, at the end of the day they were all exhausted.  
  
    A couple weeks after little Mary had arrived, Bobby left the boys to help out an old friend with a hunting job a couple states over. Sam had offered to go with him, but Bobby could tell the young man really wanted to stay behind with his beautiful baby niece. It wasn’t a big job anyway, so three hunters would have been overkill.   
  
    When he wasn’t taking care of the baby, Dean spent his time looking for work. He wasn’t having much luck, but he wasn’t going to get roped back in to hunting just to work through his frustration. The night after Bobby left, Dean and Castiel sat in the living room, side by side on the sofa; Dean was reading the paper, scouring the employment ads and Castiel had the baby laid across his lap, gently patting her back. The TV was on the local news, but neither of them were watching it. Dean sighed, folding the paper and tossing it to the floor.   
  
    "Well that's another wasted day," he sighed in frustration, running his fingers through his hair. He looked down at the baby before lifting his eyes to the Angel. "I... I may have to go job searching out of town. It might keep me away a few days at a time, depending how long it takes." Castiel didn't look pleased with this news, but he nodded. Dean couldn't help but pick up on his less than enthusiastic response. "C'mon, don't look at me like that, Cas," Dean groaned. Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "I cannot pretend to anticipate your absence," he said, and finished quickly before Dean could react. "But I understand that you do this for our family. I will be patient."  
  
    Dean nodded, settling back against the back of the sofa.   
  
    "Thank you," he said. "It's just... money's tight and babies are expensive." he reached out toward Mary, and Castiel moved his hand so Dean could placed his on her back. "Wonderful, beautiful, and expensive."  
  
    "Why can't I help?" Castiel asked. The question made Dean roll his eyes.   
  
    "Cas," he sighed. "We can't both be out pounding the pavement for work." he looked over at Castiel, catching his eye. Dean smiled. "It's a load off my mind though knowing that Mary get's to spend her day with her dad. It's better this way, for now... and it's just for now."  
  
    "I know," Cas replied. Dean reached over, touching Castiel's cheek and urging him closer.   
  
    "I do miss you, though," Dean murmured in between kisses. Cas nodded in agreement, bringing his hand up to cover Dean's.  
  
    "I do too,"  
  
    The sound of Sam's boots in the hallway forced them to move apart and they turned to look at him as he entered the room. As expected, he only had eyes for the baby.   
  
    "Did you give her her last bottle yet?” Sam asked, kneeling down next to the sofa and peering into the baby's sleeping face.  
  
    "Yeah, Sammy," Dean smirked. "We remembered to feed her."   
  
    Sam ignored the sarcasm.  
  
    "Ugh, she's so cute,"  
  
    Dean smirked, amused by his brother's devotion. Sam leaned back on his heels and looked up at them.   
  
    "Hey, I was going to watch the Royal’s game if you guys don't mind." he told them. "If you want, I can watch Mary if you two... you know, have other things you need to do?"  
  
    Dean's eyebrows raised and he felt a slight heat rise up his neck.   
  
    "That's awful kind of you Sam," he said. "But, I dunno..."  
  
    Sam frowned.   
  
    "Look. You guys haven't had two minutes of downtime in the last couple weeks," he observed. "Let me take Mary. We can have an uncle/niece evening. You two... " he shrugged, pulling the baby from Castiel's lap and into his arms. "You two just go talk or make plans or have a drink. Whatever," he pushed himself to his feet, bouncing the baby gently as he paced the room. He turned to the men still sitting on the couch staring at him. "I’m sure you guys have things you have to work out... Unless you want to watch the game with us?"  
  
    Dean turned to Castiel.   
  
    "You like baseball?" he asked. The Angel shook his head.   
  
    "Not particularly," he replied. Dean nodded.   
  
    "Well then, I'll grab us some drinks and we can go upstairs and... talk. I'll meet you up there."  
  
    Castiel stood, stopping next to Sam to lay a gentle kiss on the baby's hand before he continued on upstairs. Dean kissed the baby as well, giving Sam a pat on the back.   
  
    "Thanks man," he mumbled before moving on into the kitchen. Dean grabbed two tumblers and a bottle of scotch from the cupboard, taking the stairs two at a time to meet Castiel in the bedroom. The Angel was seated in a chair by the window, where he usually sat with the baby if she woke in the middle of the night. Dean smiled at him, shutting the bedroom door and holding up the bottle he carried. "Want one?" he asked, setting the glasses down on the night stand and pouring the amber liquor into one glass.   
  
    "Just a bit," Castiel replied, rising from his seat and accept the glass Dean offered. He took note that Dean had poured only half the measure he usually would. Getting drunk was apparently another of life's luxuries that died when a baby was born. Just like spending time alone. It was almost like before they were together - longing gazes, unfulfilled tensions, unspoken desires. Castiel drained the glass in one. Dean seemed to savor the first sip. "What did you want to talk about?" Cas asked him, setting the empty glass on the stand beside the bed. Dean smirked.   
  
    "Take your coat off," he said. "Stay a while. A baseball game is like three hours long."  
  
    Cas nodded, removing his trenchcoat and the suit jacket from underneath. Dean was watching him through narrowed eyes. The younger man cleared his throat.   
  
    "You mentioned, some days back, that your brothers gave you the heads-up on how we came to be so 'blessed'," he began, taking another drink of his scotch. "We never really got to discuss that,”  
  
    Castiel nodded.  
  
    “I felt it was something that you would want to talk about when we were alone,” he began. “...and we so rarely have any time alone now, so...”  
  
    Dean sat his glass down, crossing to the Angel.   
  
    “We’re alone now,” he commented. “What’d they say?”  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath, dropping his gaze to the floor.  
  
    “I was told it was a really ancient form of magic, of creation. They didn’t really explain at length...”   
  
    Dean gave a smirk of amusement.  
  
    “I don’t suppose they mentioned if there is anything we can do to put it off happening again?" he asked with a laugh. "I got a feeling it ain't gonna be as simple as a spending a couple bucks on a strip of latex.”  
  
    Castiel shrugged, setting on the side of the bed. Dean settled at his side.   
  
    "It's not difficult," the Angel replied. "It only requires the branding of a sigil on the organ responsible for procreation." Dean grimaced.   
  
    "That sounds _horribly_ difficult," he said, tugging at the leg of his jeans. "Is it painful?"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "It is the same for the angel-proofing sigils I placed on your ribs," he told Dean. "... If you want me to, I can do it now."  
  
    Dean was quiet a moment as he contemplated.   
  
    "These sigils," he began, slowly. "If you ever needed to take them off... could you?" Castiel gave him a soft smile.   
  
    "Of course." he answered. "There are few things that can be done that cannot be undone."  
  
    Dean nodded, relieved. Although Mary was more unexpected than anyone would ever know, now that he had her... something in the back of his mind, something not even too far back, told him he could have more. Maybe even one day have a son... another daughter... He took a deep breath and stood, beginning to unbutton his jeans.   
  
    "Alright then, Cas," he said. "Lay it on me-"  
  
    Castiel stood, bringing his fingertips to Dean's forehead. Dean looked up into the Angel's bright blue eyes as he felt a tingling rush of warmth in the front of his head. His eyebrows drew together.   
  
    "What was that?" he asked, hands stilled at his fly. Castiel blinked.   
  
    "Angels procreate out of the will of their souls," he explained. "The "heart", where love is stored, is actually the mind. The sigil is placed on the brain." his eyes narrowed. "Where did you think I'd put it?"  
  
    Dean gave a huff of laughter, smirking down at the older man.   
  
    "I thought, you know... since it was a sexual thing..."  
  
    Castiel nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Dean's.   
  
    "I see." he spoke, his deep voice was low and quiet. Dean's eyes moved involuntarily to the Angel's mouth, watching as the words were formed. "Even though it's not necessary for the sigil," Cas told him. "I still want to touch you,"  
  
    Dean felt every inch of his skin warm instantly, aching for the Angel's cool touch. The few inches between them was quickly closed and Dean pulled the other man into him, their lips finding each other even with closed eyes. For a moment they just stood, relishing the moment; mouths exploring, hands roaming in a way they hadn't been able to for what felt now like forever.   
  
    Dean raised his hands, pulling at the tie around the Angel's neck, sliding the long strip of fabric through his collar and dropping it on the floor. His fingers worked each button open before pressing into Castiel's bare skin, gliding over his chest and down his ribs, moving around to his back as Dean pulled the shorter man in, pressing his entire body into the other's. Castiel moaned, his mouth relaxing and letting Dean's tongue probe deeper as they kissed, getting lost in each other.   
  
    Castiel pushed Dean's flannel overshirt off of his shoulders and Dean let it fall from his arms, breaking away from the Angel in order to pull his T-shirt over his head. Dean's breathing was already heavy and shallow, and he didn't let their bodies be apart long before pulling Cas back to him. He groaned at the feeling of their flesh meeting, Castiel's cool skin causing Dean's hot flesh to tense.   
  
    "I've missed you so much," Dean murmured to Castiel. The Angel shuddered from the feeling of Dean's tongue tracing the contours of his ear, his warm breath cooling the trail his tongue had taken. "I want you so bad,"  
  
    "I want you, Dean," Castiel replied, rolling his head to the side to allow the younger man to complete the path from his ear to his shoulder before Dean concentrated hungrily on the taut skin of Castiel's throat. He knew now where Castiel's hot buttons were, and he could feel the Angel's knees falters from the contact. Dean slipped his arms around Cas's waist, holding him securely as he continued to ravage the tender flesh. Castiel let out a gasping moan of pleasure, his hands coming up to Dean's hair and raking across his scalp. Dean brought his lips back to Castiel's, delving deeply into the sweetness of the Angel's mouth as he pulled the dress shirt from his torso.   
  
    Castiel reached between them, his hands working each button on the fly of Dean's jean's until he could peel back the denim and push it away. Dean took over for Cas, pushing the stiff fabric over his hips and thighs. Castiel licked his lips as he watched Dean shed the last remaining garment he wore, revealing the thick muscles of his legs and the prominence of his erection. Dean sat on the side of the bed, pulling the jean's from his feet and tossing then away. He held a hand out to Castiel, pulling the Angel to stand between his thighs as he unbuckled his belt and slid the leather strap from around his waist. Before he could make another motion, Castiel sank to his knees. He looked up at Dean with such love and desire and want in his eyes. Dean kissed him.  
  
    Dean cupped his hands around Castiel's face, feeling the Angel's hands stroking his thighs. Castiel pulled away, and this time he was the one to lave a hot trail of kisses down the other man's chest. Dean bit his lower lip, watching Cas move further down, his mouth and hands traveling over his tense abdomen. He hadn't realized he was holding his breath as he watched the Angel, and he opened his knees wider as Castiel's tongue drew along the underside of his navel.  
  
    "Cas," he whispered hoarsely, bringing a hand to the Angel's shoulder. He didn't want to guide him, or to pressure him, but in his mind he was chanting for the older man's next move. Castiel lifted his eyes to Dean's face, watching him beneath the fringe of his lashes and he gently brushed his fingers along the hunter's shaft. Dean exhaled sharply, his eyes closing a moment.   
  
    "If... if I do this incorrectly," Castiel began hesitantly, but Dean shook his head.   
  
    "There's no wrong," he assured him, running a hand softly through the Angel's hair. "Really... no wrong,"  
  
    Castiel nodded, seemingly relieved, and returned his gaze the apex of Dean's thighs. He let out a even, steady breath before lowering his head.   
  
    Dean's eyes slid closed again. With a very loving delicacy, Castiel drew his lips down the side of Dean's erection before letting his tongue make the return trail back to the tip. Cas drew his tongue over the head, catching the bead of fluid already leaking in anticipation. He swallowed, letting the taste burn into his senses - it was salty, like sea spray. This was the taste of his lover; of Dean. He dropped his head again, taking the hunter's shaft into his mouth, mimicking what Dean had done to him before.   
  
    Dean breathed steadily, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of Castiel's head, his mind reeling from the erotic imagery of the Angel's mouth working him with such care. He'd had a lot of blow jobs in his day, but never did he watch someone perform the act as though it were an honor to touch him. Dean groaned, the pressure building beneath his shaft was mounting. He wasn't ready for this to be over.  
  
    "Cas," he whispered, gently stroking the back of the Angel's neck. Castiel moaned at the contact, the vibration from the sound sending waves of pleasure down Dean's length, and the younger man had to tense every muscle in his body to keep his release in check. "Cas!" he hissed, his features pinches in an expression akin to pain. But Castiel wasn't stopping; he brought his fingers around the base of Dean's shaft, using his hand in conjunction with his mouth to increase the sensation tight, wet heat. As much as Dean tried to fight it, the tension in his groin only increased until it became too great and he came unexpectedly into Castiel's mouth. The Angel choked back the warm, salty liquid as he lifted his head, a look of uncertainty on his face. "Cas, I'm so sorry," Dean laughed, reaching out and wiping the pearly fluid off the other man's chin before leaning in to kiss him. "I'm sorry... I shoulda... shoulda warned you,"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "That was adequate, then?" he asked, licking his lips and wiping the wetness from the corner of his mouth. Dean was transfixed a moment by the action. The knowledge that the shiny moisture on the Angel's lips was drawn from his cock revived his waning erection.    
  
    "Oh yeah," he replied, feeling the stirring of desire re-igniting in his groin. "First rate,"  
      
    "Good," Castiel replied, a slight undertone of relief in his voice. "I... I want you to be happy Dean,"  
      
    Dean's brow creased as he looked down at the Angel. He felt concern and confusion by Cas's remark. Was there something he was doing that would lead Castiel to believe that he wasn't happy?  
      
    "I am happy," he told him firmly, stroking the Angel's face. "You make me happy Cas, got that?"  
  
    Castiel nodded, leaning up to press his lips into Dean's. Dean pulled Castiel into him as he stood, his arms wrapping around Cas's bare torso and holding him tightly. Their kisses were deep and passionate, Dean trying to show in his actions that which he feared Cas may not feel secure in knowing. Dean loved him.   
  
    Dean stepped back from Castiel, reaching down and undoing the button and zipper of Cas's pants. Cas removed the slacks and his boxers, watching Dean pull back the sheets from the bed. Dean turned back to the Angel, giving a smile and a nod of his head toward the bed.   
  
    "Join me?"  
  
    Castiel smiled back, a light blush coloring his face that Dean thought was pretty cute, especially considering this was no longer virgin territory for them. Castiel sat down on the bed, Dean leaning over him, kissing him until they were laying back against the pillows. He let his hands roam over Cas's lean, muscular frame while he turned his mouth to tasting the flesh of his throat. Castiel moaned, squirming beneath the hunter as Dean caressed, licked, and bit all the places he knew the Angel found arousing. Cas's fingers dug into Dean's back, his hips pressing up against the body above him.   
  
    Dean reached for the drawer of the nightstand, retrieving the bottle of lubricant that was sadly more full than Dean would have liked. He leaned up on his forearms, looking down into Castiel's flushed face. Dean raised an eyebrow.   
  
    "You, uh, got a preference for how you want this to go down?" he asked, hesitantly. Cas's brow furrowed as he stared back at the younger man.   
  
    "There's something else?" he asked, confused. "I... I don't know what else there is."  
  
    Dean smiled, kissing the Angel's lips.   
  
    "I mean," he tried to clarify. "You want me to... or do you want to... you know?"  
  
    Castiel stared back at him, his expression clearly indicating that there was _no_ clarification and he still did not understand what Dean was asking. Cas spoke, resignedly.  
  
    "I don't understand.."  
  
    Dean felt the heat of embarrassment mingling with the heat of arousal on his skin. He cleared his throat, wondering how long it would be before he wouldn't be uncomfortable talking outright.   
  
    "What do you want me to do next, Cas?" he asked softly. "... what do you want?"  
  
    Castiel looked back at him evenly, still confused by the conversation.  
  
    "I want to have sex with you," he told the younger man plainly, before amending. "The slow kind."  
  
    Dean's smile returned, and he pressed his lips to Castiel's, deciding that answer was good enough for him. Cas brought a hand to Dean's face, kissing him back with equal passion. Cas took the bottle from Dean's hand, turning a measure out into the younger man's palm. Dean shifted, rolling the liquid in his hand to bring it up to body temperature before bringing it down between them and smoothing it over his erection. He brought his lips back to the Angel's, kissing him deeply as he pressed forward. Castiel moaned against his mouth, relaxing until the hunter was fully sheathed inside him. Aiming to please, Dean moved slowly against Cas, making each thrust long, deep, and deliberate.   
  
    "Hows this?" Dean murmured against Castiel's ear. The Angel nodded, unable to articulate his feelings under the intense sensation of Dean moving inside him. But he brought his mouth to Dean's, sliding his hands around the hunter’s back and up through his hair. Every kiss, every touch, every movement speaking volumes of how much they had missed the luxury of being intimate on their schedule, and not someone else's. Dean turned his attention back to Castiel's throat, leaving the Angel free to moan and sigh without impediment. The sound was music to his ears. And as the fire burning inside of the Angel began to rage, it elicited one of the most beautiful sounds Dean had ever heard - his name on Cas's lips.   
  
    "Dean," Castiel gasped, his hands tightening on the younger man's arms. Dean adjusted the angle of his forward ascent, giving a more direct stimulus that had Castiel moaning with each thrust. " _Dean_ ," He cried again, shifting beneath him in an effort to increase the contact.  
  
    "Talk to me, Cas," Dean grunted, running his hand down Castiel's thigh, pulling it higher up against his hip. Cas gave a huff of exasperation.  
  
    "You want to talk?!" he asked, incredulously. Dean tried not to laugh, shaking his head.   
  
    "No," he said, kissing the Angel's face. "No. Just want to hear what you want." he watched Castiel's eyes narrow, wonder playing out in his dark, shining eyes. Dean leaned his forehead against Cas's. "Tell me what you want, baby,"  
  
    Castiel sighed,   
  
    "I just want you to be happy,"  
  
    Dean's smile faded and he kissed Castiel desperately. There was a palpable change in the intensity with which Dean moved against his partner, pulling a steady stream of moans from Cas. Dean continued to drive in to him, kiss him, to touch him until Castiel called his name one last time. As Dean reached his own completion, he was happy that Castiel had placed the sigil on his brain - because he could see nothing but a beautiful, long life stretched out before him with the Angel.   
  
    Dean continued kissing Castiel as he pulled away, laying at his side and putting an arm around him. Castiel gave a heavy sigh of relief, staring up at the ceiling as he absently ran his hand over Dean's arm. Dean leaned up on his elbow, looking down at the Angel beside him.   
  
    "I am happy, Cas," he spoke quietly, threading his fingers through Castiel's and holding tight to his hand. "I'm... I'm only gonna say this once, you know, 'cause I ain't really one to go on about feelings. But even before Mary, I wanted to be with you. I hunt because I can, not because I want to. What I want is to have a normal life with a family, with a house, with kids... and you gave me that chance."   
  
    Castiel looked away from Dean's eyes, focusing on their hands.  
  
    "We're never going to be exactly 'normal', Dean..." he said softly. Dean gave a smirk.   
  
    "Hey, it's more mainstream than you think." he replied. "We can even get married in, like, six of fifty states. That's progress,"  
  
    Castiel looked back up at him. There was a strange look in his eyes.  
  
    "I meant because I'm an Angel," he replied. "Not that we're men"  
  
    "People's people." Dean answered. "And... if you want it it, I mean... we're gonna have a life together, you and I. With Mary. With... who knows. But, I've needed you since the moment we met, Cas. I've wanted you since pretty soon after. You do make me happy. You do."  
  
    Castiel was quiet, lost in his own thoughts for a moment before replying.   
  
    "I don't want you to worry about money," he said. Dean sighed.   
  
    "That's temporary. I'll find a job. It's just a little difficult right now because I have the skills, but not the education to back it up. I just need to find someone to give me a chance. And then we'll be able to get a place of our own." he smiled, and the joy in his eyes from that statement made Castiel smile as well. "The whole deal, right?” Dean said. “Suburbs. Sidewalks. White picket fence, okay?"  
  
    "I have faith in you, Dean," Castiel replied evenly. Dean's smile faltered a moment, but he leaned down and pressed his lips to the Angel's.   
  
    "Thank you." he murmured. He took his hand from Cas's to reach up and run his fingertips down his cheek. "You really do make me happy. If I have you... I... I know I can get through this. And then I'll make _you_ happy."  
  
    "Already done," Castiel told him softly.   
  
    Dean shook his head.   
  
    "No, the whole deal.” he said softly, his hand once again finding Cas’s. “Castiel Winchester good and proper. You want that?" Castiel nodded, but found he could not speak. Dean smiled. "Good. Me too."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~      
  
    Sam sat in the living room, rocking his baby niece in his arms as he listened to the sports game recap on the nightly news. He mostly stared transfixed by the baby, and she looked back at him with her wide blue eyes. He couldn't help but smile as he marveled at how this child looked so much like Cas and so much like Dean, but so much like the cutest angelic doll he had ever seen. He was so happy for his brother, he wasn't sure how to process it. Of course, true to form, Dean figured out another way to put pressure on himself by quitting the job and looking for a real one. He knew he wanted to provide a good life for Mary, but it would be many years before she was even aware of what life was - let alone whether or not her father hunted monsters. But he was going to help Dean in any way he could; with finding a job, with taking care of the baby,... with giving him time alone with the man he loved.   
  
    At first - even as much as Sam cared about and liked Castiel - he truly thought Dean was just settling for the Angel because Cas told him he loved him, and because of all Cas had done for them over the years. Cas's affection had always seemed to be obvious, but Dean's not so much. But now that Sam thought about it, there were so many little, non-verbal things that he should have questioned at the time, but he had taken for granted that his brother was a raging heterosexual. After seeing the way the two touched each other when they thought were alone sealed the deal - Dean loved the Angel, and Sam was going to support them with all he could.   
  
    Sam shifted the baby up over his shoulder, rising from the sofa and pacing the floor. She liked to be walked before she fell asleep, and he was happy that she seemed to fall asleep easiest in his arms. Dean joked that it was from lack of oxygen. Castiel offered that it was because she preferred Sam's nurturing touch. That made Sam happy. And now that Dean was going to settle down, he began to wonder if he could too. That maybe one day he would be walking his own baby around the living room. Of course, will all he'd been through, he wasn't sure he could find someone to settle down with. That maybe... he was too broken.   
  
    After a half hour, the baby was deeply asleep and Sam settled back onto the couch with her. She was wrapped in a downy, yellow baby blanket and cuddled into the crook of his arm. Sam sat that way for over an hour, watching TV blankly and looking down at the sleeping baby most of the time. Just as the late show was ending and the repeat of the nine o'clock news was starting, Dean came down the stairs. Sam looked up, giving him a shifty smile as he noticed his brother was freshly showered and now in his pajama pants and a T-shirt; his hair was still damp.   
  
    "What happened to the game?" Dean asked, peering down at the sleeping infant. Sam shrugged.   
  
    "Rained out," he replied. "So I watched the MLB recap on the local station."  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow but didn't question.   
  
    "Oh, well....You could have come and got me,"  
  
    Sam shook his head, leaning down to gently kiss the baby.   
  
    "Nah, you and Cas needed the alone time." he told his brother. "I mean, you guys just got together and now this. I mean, I'm thrilled, but... you two didn't get a chance to really date."  
  
    Dean smirked, resting his arm across the back of the sofa and pulling one knee up onto the cushion.   
  
    "I can't say we were ever really 'dating' but, I get your meaning..." he sighed, running a hand through his wet hair. "You're being right awesome about this Sam," Dean admitted. "I appreciate it."  
  
    Sam smiled.   
  
    "Would you like some nice chamomile tea?" he asked. Dean shook his head.   
  
    "Shut up." he groaned, wanting to punch him but not wanting to disturb Mary. "I can take her up to bed now," he offered. Sam sighed, reluctant to give her up.  
  
    "Alright,"  
  
    He handed the sleeping infant over to her father, grimacing as she began to whine.   
  
    "Its'alright sweetheart," Dean spoke soothingly, cuddling the baby to his neck. "Good night, Sammy,"  
  
    "'Night Dean,"  
  
    Sam watched his brother and niece until they disappeared up the stairs. He sighed, rising from his seat and turning off the TV. Before he could turn toward his own room, a soft knock sounded at the door. Sam frowned, wondering who would be calling at this hour - or at all. Hesitantly he went to the door.   
  
    "Who is it?" he called through the heavy wood, waiting for an answer. A female voice answered from the other side.   
  
    "It's Amariel," the angel replied.   
  
    Sam was surprised, but he unlocked and unchained the door, pulling it open. The angel, who's vessel resembled her brother's more as siblings than cousins, smile back at him. It was unnerving.   
  
    "What are you doing here?" he asked, hearing Dean call from upstairs.  
  
    "Sam? Is someone here?"  
  
    Sam ignored the call, waiting for the angel's answer.   
  
    "I'm here for your brother," she replied. "I bring the first of his gifts."  
  
    Sam's brow furrowed.  
  
    "Gifts? What do you mean gifts?"  
  
    In answer, Amariel stood to the side. Sam's eye's grew wide and his mouth dropped open as his gaze fell upon the person standing behind the angel. He took a step back, stunned. Dean and Castiel came down the stairs.    
  
    "Sammy?" he asked, walking up behind him. "Sammy, Cas say's there an Angel here-" he stopped, dumbfounded, causing Castiel to bump into him. Dean stared as transfixed as his brother, but he quickly found his voice. "... dad?"   
  
    John Winchester stepped forward, smiling at his sons. He reached Sam first, pulling the young man into an embrace. He moved to his older son next, hugging him tightly as well.   
  
    "Boys," he said, looking from one to another. "I've heard so many things about the great things you've done."  
  
    "How...?" Dean began, looking at his father in disbelief. John smiled.  
  
    "There are Angels, Dean." he replied. "And this one," he indicated Amariel. "she said that you earned gifts from heaven. One of them was my life."  
  
    "Amariel,"   
  
    The group turned to Castiel as he spoke. He stepped forward. He did not look pleased.   
  
    "The souls in Heaven should not be returned to the earth," he admonished her. Amariel smirked at him.   
  
    "Yet they can be plucked from Hell if they are pretty enough?"  
  
    Dean flushed and he and Sam looked to one another, but John didn't seem to catch the reference. Castiel answered.  
  
    "Heaven is a soul's final reward."  
      
    Amariel shook her head.   
  
    "That is for the soul to decide." she told him. "I asked if he would like to return. He said yes." she turned to Dean. "A gift for your selfless service to Heaven." she smiled, speaking one final thought before disappearing. "I'll return."  
  
    The four men stood in silence, staring at the spot the angel vacated. John turned back to his children.   
  
    "It's good to see you, boys," he said, reaching out and putting a hand on Sam's shoulder. "I've missed so much. But, you boys have done great." Sam nodded vaguely, and Dean remained still. "Would it be possible to get a beer?" he laughed. "It's been quite a day."  
  
    "Yeah," Dean replied, moving into the kitchen. John followed. Sam turned to Castiel.  
  
    "Cas," he began quietly. "I... um, I don't know how well this is going to go down. But, we should probably let Dean do most of the talking."  
  
    "I understand," Cas replied, following the young man into the kitchen. John was setting at the table and Dean was pulling the cap off a bottle of beer. Dean looked up at the new arrivals with some trepidation in his eyes. John took a long drink, sighing when he sat it down.   
  
    "How've you boys been?" he asked, smiling at them. "aside from saving the world."  
  
    Dean nodded absently, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the sink.   
  
    "We've fared alright." he replied. "With a little help from our friends."  
  
    "Even before I left, I'd heard about how good you boys had gotten," John continued, turning to Sam. "I can't wait to hear how you've improved. About what you've learned. The things you've done." his eyes moved on to Castiel. "About the people you've met."  
  
    "This is Castiel," Dean answered, his eyes looking upon the Angel as well. "He's helped us get through a lot of those things you probably heard about. He's an Angel, like Amariel." John gave him a nod in greeting.  
  
    "It's good to know you guys exist." he commented. "Would have been nice to have an Angel on my side when I was hunting. Would've made things much easier."  
  
    "The Heavenly Host serves Heaven," Castiel explained. "We did not walk among men until we had a need. But it was Dean and Sam that helped us and we are indebted." his eyes caught Deans and he fell silent.   
  
    "Of course," John said, looking to his boys. "They've learned a lot."  
  
    "It's good to have you back, dad," Dean told him. "We... we have a lot of catching up to do." before John could reply, Sam spoke.  
  
    "Tonight?" he asked. "I mean, I'm really happy you're back too dad, but it's late. You’re probably exhausted and I have some research I have to complete tomorrow at the main branch of the county library and that's a hour drive. Do you mind if we do the catching up tomorrow?"  
  
    Dean looked stunned by the request, but John shook his head.   
  
    "Of course Sam," he replied. "I did turn up awful late, and I see you two were already to turn in for the night. I don't suppose you have somewhere your old man can crash for the night?"  
  
    Sam nodded.  
  
    "I can get some blankets from the linen closet." he said. "The couch is free."  
  
    "I should be going then," Castiel spoke, pushing his hands down into the pockets of his coat. "Call if you have need of me-"  
  
    "Cas, wait," Dean spoke, moving away from the sink. Everyone in the room stilled except for John, who turned to Dean expectantly. Dean stared at the Angel, his eyes boring in to him as if willing him to read his mind. Castiel looked evenly back.   
  
    "I have a small, yet important, matter to attend Dean," he spoke very deliberately. "I might be missed. I hope that I can return tomorrow. I would love to speak with you Mr. Winchester. It has been an honor to meet you,"  
  
    John thanked him and in a rush of sound, Castiel was gone. Dean was still staring at the spot he vacated. John stood.   
  
    "He's a little odd, that one," he commented. Dean turned to him, but it was Sam who responded.   
  
    "He's family," he said, his voice sounded slightly perturbed. "I'm going to get those blanket." he paused in the doorway before turning back. "I'm glad you're alive dad,"  
  
    John turned to Dean.  
  
    "Is everything alright? Where's Bobby?"  
  
    Dean sighed, placing his hands on his hips.  
  
    "He's off on a job," he replied. John's brow furrowed.  
  
    "By himself? And you boys are here? Why aren't you with him?"  
  
    Dean felt slightly overwhelmed by the questions. He could feel his breath catch in his chest. How was he supposed to tell his father he quit hunting? That he was trying to go legit? That he was in love with Castiel? That they had a child together?...That, compounded by the guilt he felt over wondering how in Hell this was supposed to be a gift, caused Dean to feel slightly lightheaded.   
  
    "It's, um... a long story.” Dean began with some hesitance. “Things are a little... complicated right now."  
      
    "Complicated?" John asked, curiously. "Your friend is out hunting monsters and you're relaxing in his house drinking beer and having friends over?"  
  
    "It's not like that," he replied. John shook his head, looking to Dean.   
  
    "Then what is it..." John’s voice trailed off, and he pointed across the room. "Are those baby bottles?"  
  
    Dean turned to the sink and the draining board beside it. Four six-ounce baby bottles sat upside down, drying on a towel. He closed his eye, taking a deep, cleansing breath before turning back to his father.   
  
    "You've been gone a long time, dad," he began. "Things have changed."  
  
    "Like what?" John asked.   
  
    Sam returned to the room, a stack of blankets and an extra pillow in his arms. He didn't speak when he saw the look on Dean's face.   
  
    "Sammy," his older brother spoke, "Could you tell Cas to bring his 'small, important matter' to the living room please?"  
  
    "Dean," Sam replied. "Are you sure about-"  
  
    "Please, Sam," Dean sighed. "Please... just... just go."  
  
    Sam turned his narrowed eyes to his father before turning on his heel and exiting the room. He dropped the blankets on the sofa before running up the stairs. He knocked softly on the door of Dean's room.  
  
    "Cas?" he spoke quietly. The door opened and Castiel look at him, his head tilted in curiosity.  
  
    "What is it, Sam?"  
  
    Sam grimaced, running a hand through his hair.   
  
    "Dean wants you to bring Mary downstairs."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed and his brows drew together.   
  
    "Right now?" he asked. Sam shrugged.   
  
    "That's what he said." he followed the Angel over to the cradle she lay in. They looked down at her, sleeping peacefully beneath her fluffy yellow blanket. "I can do it," Sam told him. "If you don't want to."  
  
    "No, I can do it," Castiel said, leaning down and gently pulling the baby into his arms; holding her securely against his chest. "I am not ashamed of my daughter, or my love for your brother. I just don't want to cause your family any pain."  
  
    "If dad has a problem with Mary, or you and Dean, that's his problem - not ours." Sam told him fiercely. "Like I told him before. You're family."  
  
    As John and Dean waited downstairs, John turned to his son.   
  
    "What is going on Dean?" he asked. "You're acting like you have this horrible, dirty secret - but I have it on good authority that I was brought back to life as a reward for your saving all of Heaven and Earth."  
  
    "It's not a horrible, dirty secret," Dean retorted, rubbing the back on his neck nervously. "It's not a secret. And I didn't do anything. I told Amariel that I didn't need rewards, I was only doing what I would normally be doing." John shook his head.   
  
    "Well, I'm pretty glad that they didn't listen," he remarked. Dean shook his head.   
  
    "Yeah..."  
  
    They turned when Sam and Cas returned to the room. John’s eyes immediately landed on the child in Castiel's arms. He turned back to Dean.  
  
    "Whose is she?"   
  
    Dean cleared his throat, but his voice was still thick with unspoken emotion.  
  
    "She's your granddaughter, dad," he replied. "Her name is Mary."  
  
    John turned back to Castiel, moving toward the Angel and looking down at the baby. Cas adjusted the little girl in his arms so that the elder Winchester could see her face. Jon looked down at the baby, easily able to see his own son in her features. The baby yawned, opening her wide blue eyes and looked up into her grandfather's face. She focused on him a moment before turning her eyes to the man who carried her and she began to coo softly with happiness. John looked up to Castiel's face, meeting the Angel's wide, blue eyes. He turned to his son.   
  
    "Explain,"  
  
    But it wasn't Dean who answered.   
  
    "I think you get it dad," Sam told him. "It's a little obvious, although it's a little incomprehensible. There's no reason to get into the particulars right now. Isn't it enough that your son is happy and that you have a grandchild?"  
  
    Dean looked to Sam. For the first time in his life he envied his younger brother's bravery. Dean looked back to his father, who was watching him.  
  
    "Congratulations, Dean," he said honestly. "She's beautiful."  
  
    Dean nodded.   
  
    "Thank you,"   
  
    John took a deep breath.  
  
    "Well," he began again. "You probably want to get her back to bed and turn in. We can catch up in the morning."  
  
    Dean nodded, and everyone returned to their respective rooms for the night. Castiel placed Mary back in her cradle, turning to look at Dean who was pacing the room. Neither spoke for several long, tense moments. Castiel watched Dean warily.   
  
    "Is there anything I can do?" he asked, his words bringing Dean to a halt. Dean shook his head.   
      
    "No, Cas. There's nothing wrong,"  
  
    Castiel tilted his head.   
  
    "You look like something is wrong,"  
  
    "Damnit, nothing is-" Dean caught himself, lowering his voice. "Nothings wrong. I'm happy my dad is back - hell, he only died in the first place to save me. That was my fault,"  
  
    Castiel narrowed his eyes.   
  
    "Now that you have a child, Dean," he spoke, quietly. "Don't you see that it was his job?"  
  
    Dean stared back at him, dumbfounded. He looked to the cradle.   
  
    Yes, he could see how Castiel was right. His shoulder's sagged and he ran a hand through his hair.   
  
    "I just... Damnit, what was your sister thinking?!"  
  
    "I'm sure she meant well," Castiel replied, watching Dean arrange his pillows and lay down on the bed. Castiel moved to set at his side. Dean was glowering. Castiel looked away from him. "Are you angry with me?"  
  
    "No Cas," Dean sighed, reaching over and resting his hand on the Angel's thigh. "It's just... my relationship with my father is... complicated."  
  
    "Isn't everyone's?" Castiel asked with a small smile. Dean looked at him, before turning back to the cradle by the far wall.   
  
    "I hope not," he answered.   
  
    "I have faith in you Dean," Castiel told him. "I always have,"  
  
    "Thank you, Cas," he ran his hand over the Angel's thigh, before raising his hand and taking hold of his tie. Cas didn't need much coaxing to lean down and accept the younger man's kiss. Dean closed his eyes, letting the Angel lay more, soft kisses across his cheek, his fingertips smoothing over his brow.   
  
    "Father," Castiel murmured, pressing his cheek to Dean's. "Please watch over and protect this man. Keep him in the safekeeping of your will, in the light of your love. Bring unto him the peace and prosperity that he has given unto your creation. Show him the favor and grace that you have bestowed upon me. For he is loved and cherished and held in the highest honor among your children. Make his blessing ten-fold of his suffering, for he the most worthy of such recompense. This I pray unto you, my Father, for it is your will to provide these that I beg. Amen."  
  
    Dean had tears in his eyes by the time Castiel was done speaking, and he looked up at the Angel as he sat.  
  
    "That was beautiful, Cas," he said, quietly. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "This is what I have prayed for you since the day I raised you from hell. You are a worthy man, Dean. You are a good man. You will be a great father. I am honored to share my life with you. And I believe that my prayers have been heard, and that it is their time to be answered."  
  
    Dean wished he could believe him. But, even if he couldn't, just knowing the depth of Cas's hopes for him was comforting and empowering. Whether or not he had to look his father in the face and tell him all the things that would possibly let him down, he felt he could do it. Because he had Cas on his side. He had Sammy and Bobby on his side.   
  
    And he had love.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    The next week was an exercise in perseverance through awkward situations and control over one's temper. Sam was on the defensive with everything John said, and more than a few squabbles had broken out - especially after Bobby returned. Dean wasn't sure what the argument between his father and the man who practically raised him was, but it was intense. No one seemed to be happy.  
  
    Dean was doing worse then ever. The constant tension in the house was getting to him. When he told his father that he was no longer a hunter, that started an argument about Dean being ungrateful and not knowing how much John had sacrificed for them. When Sam got involved, Bobby and Castiel had to physically restrain the oldest and youngest Winchester. Cas tried to keep Mary in the middle of the room as often as possible, because at least when she was present, everyone seemed to be on their best behavior. Even though John seemed to be getting on poorly with everyone at this point, he did show affection for the beautiful baby, treating her as though she were adored.   
  
    Castiel was growing concerned about Dean, and even considered asking his sister to revoke her gift. But he knew he wouldn't be very popular if he did that, so his only option was to be as patient and supportive as he could. Dean continued to search for jobs, moving from scouring the paper to searching online. But, he was becoming discouraged.   
  
    "Hey Bobby,"  
  
    Bobby looked up from his reading to the young man leaning in the doorway.   
  
    "What is is Dean?" he asked. Dean moved into the room, dropping into a chair by the desk.   
  
    "I wanted to ask a favor," he began. Bobby could tell by the look on his face and the beer in his hand that it was something serious.   
  
    "What is it, boy?" he asked. Dean sighed.   
  
    "I know that it's been pretty inconvenient for you to have us all here," he began, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "But I just want you to know that Cas and the baby and I will get out of your hair as soon as possible."  
  
    "Don't be an idjit," Bobby grumbled, shaking his head and returning to his book. "You kids are welcome here as long as you need. No skin off my back." Dean's voice lowered as he replied.   
  
    "You gotta admit there will be a lot less tension around here when Cas and I do split," Bobby didn't seem swayed by his words. "Look, I just wanted to ask you if you mind if we stay a while longer. I've got a couple things lined up, but even if I get a job it will be a while before I can save enough to get us a place. I may have to live alone for a while, and I want Cas and Mary to have a safe place to be. I don't want him to be tempted to take her to Heaven." Bobby gave a snort of contempt.   
  
    "Pretty sad day when Heaven is not considered a safe place for an Angel,"  
  
    "Well, we're not sure Cas isn't going to get in trouble for making Mary, so... it's best this way, for now." Dean replied, sighing. He took a long drink from his beer. "So, is that alright?"  
  
    "Of course it is," Bobby replied. "I love having you kids here, you know that. And Mary... she's like a granddaughter."  
  
    Dean smiled.   
  
    "That's because you're her grandpa," he said, rising from his chair and leaving the room. Bobby pretended his wasn't touched, mumbling 'idjit' under his breath. Dean passed through the living room, taking the stairs two at a time and finding Cas sitting by the window with the baby in his arm. Dean shut the bedroom door. "Can I talk to you?" he asked, sitting on the bed across from Castiel. Cas nodded.  
  
    "Of course, Dean. Is everything okay?"  
  
    "Yeah, yeah," he replied, reaching over and patting the Angel on the knee. Castiel could feel the younger man's hesitation. He waited. Dean took a deep breath. "I, uh... I have to go out of town soon," he began, watching the baby instead of the expression on Cas's face. "I have a couple job interviews in California. I'm gonna have to drive, so I have to leave a couple days early. I want you to stick close by in case Sam and Bobby need you."  
  
    "I won't leave Mary," Castiel told him. "When do you have to go?"  
  
    "I'll leave Friday," Dean explained. "It's about an 18 hour drive, so I get there no problem by Sunday night so I'm ready to go Monday morning. I have one interview on Monday and one on Wednesday. I'll leave Wednesday afternoon and be back by Friday - Thursday if I drive straight through,"  
  
    "Don't do that," Castiel told him. "I want you home, but in one piece." he sat forward, cradling the baby. "What type of jobs are these?" Dean shook his head.  
  
    "Nothing special," he replied. "One is in a garage rebuilding engines. The other is in metal work. Not glamorous, but the pay is decent and there are health benefits." he reached out and brushed his fingers across the baby’s tiny hand.  
  
    "If you get one of these jobs," Castiel began. "Will we live there?"  
  
    "Not right away," Dean sighed. "California is expensive and it will take a while to save up - especially if I'm living out there and sending money back here."  
  
    Castiel's brow creased with concern.   
  
    "Why can't we live there with you?"  
  
    Dean grimaced, rising to his feet.   
  
    "I'll be living out of a hotel, Cas," he explained with a sigh. "And a crappy one at that. The one I found is only three hundred dollars a month, and believe me, it's going to be disgusting and small. I don't want Mary to live in that. I don't want you to live in that."  
  
    "But you will?" the Angel asked, his eyes narrowed. Dean shrugged.   
  
    "I'll do what I have to."  
  
    Castiel didn't look satisfied, but he nodded.  
  
    "I understand,"   
  
    Dean frowned at the look of sadness on the other man's face.   
  
    "You know I wouldn't do this if I could find work locally," he told him.   
  
    "I know," Castiel replied. Dean sighed, looking out the window at the bright blue sky. He was feeling a little sick to his stomach at the thought of leaving them behind, but this really was for the best. He was running out of money quickly, and he wasn't sure what he would do when he was down to nothing. The very thought seemed to rob the oxygen from his lungs.  
  
    Castiel stood, drawing Dean's eye. The Angel had a pensive look on his face.   
  
    "What is it?" Dean asked. Castiel spoke quietly.  
  
    "There is an Angel here,"  
  
    Without another word, Dean turned from the room and headed for the living room. He arrived just in time to hear the knock at the door. Castiel was right behind him.   
  
    "I got it," Dean said to the group, striding across the room and pulling open the front door. He frowned at the angel on the other side.   
  
    "Hello, Dean!" Amariel greeted. "I told you I would return,"  
  
    "What are you playing at," Dean hissed at her, his green eyes narrowed in irritation. "If you've come to deliver another 'gift' or 'reward' or whatever, you can..." His words trailed off and Sam and Castiel who were standing behind him could see Dean's shoulder's square and his body tense. He pushed Amariel to the side, and took one uncertain step outside. Sam and Cas moved closer to the door, watching Dean move purposefully across the porch. Castiel could hear Sam's breath catch in his throat, and he turned to see the younger man had tears in his eyes. Castiel turned back to Dean, who had run down the drive and threw his arms around a very pretty woman with blonde hair. Sam took off after his brother, crashing into them and embracing them both.  
  
    "Mom," Dean said, his voice breaking with emotion. Mary hugged him back, holding tightly to her son, pulling her arm away only to encompass Sam when he slammed into them. Sam was openly crying, tears running down his face and repeating 'mom' over and over again. "I missed you so much," Dean told her tightly. Mary pulled away to look into the handsome faces of her now grown boys - just babies when she had been taken from them.   
  
    "Not as much as I missed you," she told them, her own face wet with tears. "Dean, Sam... my boys..."  
  
    Castiel viewed the scene from the porch, his heart hammering as he watched Dean show such emotion from being reunited with his mother. Amariel leaned closer to him.   
  
    "I did this one right, yeah?" she asked, smiling. Castiel nodded. He turned as John Winchester came out of the house. He stopped on the porch for a moment, as if stunned, but just as Dean had, he rushed toward the woman, sweeping her into his arms.   
  
    The family stood in the yard for a long stretch of time, hugging and kissing each other.   
  
    "How did this happen?" John was asking her. Mary motioned toward the female angel.   
  
    "Amariel came to me in Heaven," she explained, her right hand grasping Dean's and her left was holding Sam's head to her shoulder. "She said that Dean had did a great service to Heaven, that he had earned the highest reward. That I could return to him if it was my wish," she looked up into her oldest son's face. "It's been my greatest wish."  
  
    Dean hugged her again, tightly.   
  
    "I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Mom," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut to stem the flow of tears. Mary touched her son's face, shaking her head.   
  
    "You were four years old, Dean," she told him. "There is nothing you could have done. I'm so sorry I had to leave you. I've heard stories of the things you've done. I never wanted this life for you-" she turned to Sam. "For either of you,"  
  
    Dean sniffed back his tears, suddenly quite aware of the potential these conversations had of going south very quickly.   
  
    "Let's go inside," he said, keeping his hand in his mother's grasp. "I want you to meet someone."  
  
    Mary nodded, and the four returned to the porch where Cas, Amariel, and now Bobby stood. Castiel was transfixed by the raw emotion in Dean's eyes, now red-rimmed and shiny with tears. Dean rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes before he spoke.   
  
    "Mom, this is Bobby," he said, indicating the old hunter. "He's saved our bacon more times than I can count. He's letting us live here while we try to get on our feet."  
  
    "Bobby," Mary spoke, but she didn't extend her hand - she moved forward and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. Thank you so much for taking care of my boys." Bobby blushed.  
  
    "It'snothin'," he mumbled.   
  
    When she pulled away, her hand moved back to Dean's and she turned her eyes to the tall Angel standing beside Bobby. Dean reached out and lay a hand on Cas’s shoulder.   
  
    "This is Castiel," he said, "He's an Angel."  
  
    "Castiel," Mary repeated, her voice soft. She let go of her children's hands and brought them to Cas's face. "I will never be able to thank you enough," she told him. "I remember the day Heaven was alight with news of you saving my son from hell. I will never forget it. I will never forget that you saved my son."  
  
    "It was an honor," Castiel told her, slightly embarrassed by the praise, especially considering who it was coming from. "Dean has been the one to save me, I think,"  
  
    Mary smiled at him, and to Dean, but her eyes were drawn naturally to the cherubic infant in the Angel's arms. Dean, intoxicated with joy, put his arm around Castiel before he spoke again.   
  
    "And this, mom, is our daughter." he told her, looking down at the beautiful baby. "We named her Mary. Mary Samantha."  
  
    Mary's face lit up with the same unbridled joy as Dean and she brought a hand to her heart.   
  
    "She is beautiful, Dean. You're so sweet." She smiled down at the baby. "You're really going to have to explain the logistics of this, but I am so happy for you." Sam gave a snort of laughter that became half a sob. Mary turned and ran a hand over his cheek, pulling him down to kiss him on the forehead. Sam was only slightly older than the baby the last time she saw him, and now he was a full grown man. New tears sprang to her eyes, but she blinked them away, turning back to Castiel. "May I hold her?" she asked. Castiel nodded.   
  
    "Of course," he insisted, letting her take the child from his arms.   
  
    The group followed Mary into the house, all except for Amariel who called a parting to Dean, but he did not hear what she said. Once inside the house, Mary settled on the sofa and her boys dropped to the floor at her feet. While she cradled her granddaughter in her arms, Sam rested his head in her lap.   
  
    "Dean," Mary told him, holding a hand out for Castiel and pulling the Angel down into the seat at her side. "She is perfect. She looks so much like you did when you were a baby."  
  
    "Really?" Dean asked, not really comprehending anything anyone said to him. It was all just a beautiful fantasy. He had missed his mom so much, and he couldn't believe he was sitting here with her right now.  
  
    "Yes. You were a beautiful baby too,"   
  
    The group talked and shared stories long into the night. Bobby and Castiel took the opportunity to cook supper so that the Winchesters could have some time alone to hug and cry on each other with some privacy. Castiel watched Dean from the other room, so happy that Dean could have this moment. This was much better than the last time.   
  
    After supper, Mary sat on the sofa giving the baby her last bottle of the night. Dean sat at her side, smiling broadly at them both while Sam resumed his seat on the floor, his head on his mother's knee.   
  
    "Where's her crib?" Mary asked Dean, as she sat the empty bottle aside and turned the infant over her shoulder, gently patting her back.   
  
    "We have a cradle in the guest room upstairs. But I can bring it down here." her oldest son replied. "You're going to need somewhere to sleep. Cas and I can bunk out here."  
  
    "I'm not taking your room," she told him. "You were here first."  
  
    "You can stay in my room," Sam added. "I'll sleep in the panic room." Mary looked even less happy with this idea.   
  
    "No, you boys are going to sleep in your own beds."  
      
    "Tell ya what," Bobby offered. "I'll sleep in the panic room, and you can sleep in my room. Since this is my house, I get to make the rules and the guests get to accept it."  
  
    Mary smiled at him.   
  
    "Thank you, Bobby." she turned to Dean, placing the infant in his arms. "You should take her to bed. You don't want to throw her schedule off." she looked down at Sam, running a hand over his hair. "You need to sleep too, mister." Sam nodded, reluctantly rising to his feet.   
  
    "Good night mom," he said, hugging her when she stood. He held onto her tightly for a long moment. When he let go, he turned and hugged Dean, before leaning down to kiss the baby. Dean hugged his mother as well, the same long, tight hug of someone afraid it would be their last.   
  
    "Good night Dean," she spoke to him, smiling at his low response of " 'night mom". Before he and Cas could leave the room, Mary hugged the Angel as well. "Good night Castiel," she told him. "And thank you again. For everything."  
  
    "I've done nothing," Cas insisted, but Dean was grinning at him and it caused him to flush.  
  
    "C'mon, Angel," Dean told him, clapping him on the back and ushering him ahead to the stairs. Once inside their bedroom, Dean lay the baby on the middle of the bed and began to undress her while Castiel brought over her pajamas and a new diaper. The baby didn't wake as he changed her and dressed her in a pair of footie pajamas. Dean lifted the baby into his arms and took her over to the cradle, laying her gently inside before tucking the blanket around her.   
  
    Satisfied that the baby was comfortable and sleeping soundly, Dean crossed to the bathroom to clean up himself for bed. Once he was in his own pajamas, he returned to the room and dropped onto the bed, exhausted. He brought his hands to his face. Cas lay down at his side, looking at Dean with a mixture of concern and sympathy.  
  
    "Are you alright, Dean?" he asked the younger man. Dean nodded, but did not reply. Cas leaned over him and could see the fresh tears rolling down from his eyes. Castiel kissed his forehead. "Sleep well..."  
  
    Before Castiel could raise his fingers to Dean's forehead, the younger man stopped him.   
  
    "I'm okay, Cas, really." he said, wiping the tears away. "These are happy tears. I just... I just can't believe my mom is back... I just feel... " he placed a hand to his chest. "Really, really happy.... and that scares me."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed and he looked down in to Dean's face.   
  
    "Why would that scare you?" he asked. Dean sighed, bringing a hand up and absently stroking the Angel's jaw and throat.   
  
    "Because whenever things are going good, something bad comes along to take it's place."  
  
    "I see," Castiel mused, considering the younger man's words. He rested a hand on Dean's stomach, his fingers gliding over the area of skin exposed when his shirt rode up. "Did you ever consider that when bad things happen, good things come in to make up for it?"  
  
    Dean looked up into Cas's blue eyes.  
  
    "No," he said quietly. "I never considered it that way..."  
  
    Castiel leaned down, brushing his lips across Dean's forehead.   
  
    "Continue to have faith," Cas spoke to him. "I don't want you to worry. Live for this moment... every moment."  
  
    "Live for the moment," Dean repeated. "... live for the moment..."  
  
    He had his eye on the future. He wanted his daughter to have a normal life. He wanted to have a home, to sleep in his own bed. He wanted to have another child someday. To have backyard barbecues with Sammy and his family.   
  
    Castiel seemed to understand what he was thinking.   
  
    "I want you to have faith in the future Dean," he told him. "But the only thing we truly have is this moment right now. Use the memory of those bad times to appreciate the good."  
  
    Dean smirked. He knew Castiel was right, but it didn't stop him from feeling a small sense of foreboding.   
  
    "What makes you think you're so smart?" he asked, "I think I've had more experience on this planet."  
  
    "I'm a warrior of Heaven, I have experience in the _universe_ ," Castiel told him. He leaned forward, narrowing his eyes, but there was affection and levity in them. "You should show me... some respect."  
  
    Dean felt his mouth go dry, and warmth rise up his neck. A thrill of excitement, tempered with a measure of shame, coursed through him as his brain made a connection. There was something incredibly hot about assertive - maybe even aggressive  - Castiel that Dean found arousing. From the original time he spoke those same words, not out of humor but out of deadly seriousness, to the many times he's seen the Angel fight - he now recognized the feeling he had. It was straight up desire. It was possibly why he enjoyed their encounter in the Impala more than he thought he should have.   
  
    Castiel tilted his head as he watched Dean staring back at him.   
  
    "Dean?" he said, uncertainly. "I'm... I'm being facetious."  
  
    Dean shook his head.   
  
    "Sorry, Cas, it's not that. I was... thinking of something else." he replied. "I wasn't in the moment." Castiel's expression seemed to tell him that the Angel was curious as to what he had been thinking. Dean cleared his throat. "Is the baby still sleeping?"  
  
    Castiel rose from the bed, crossing the the cradle and kneeling beside it. Dean stood as well, turning on the bedside lamp and crossing the room to turn off the overhead light and make sure the door was locked. When he turned back, Castiel was standing.  
  
    "She is asleep," he said as Dean came to his side and looked down into the cradle as well. Dean looked down at his sleeping child, a smile coming to his lips. He brought a hand to Castiel's back.  
  
    "Is she sleeping through the night yet?" he asked. Cas shook his head.   
  
    "Not completely. She mostly wakes around one a.m.," he replied. "Usually she just wants to eat and lay against my neck."  
  
    "Sounds good to me," Dean replied, smiling at the way the Angel blushed. "And sounds to me like we have," he looked to his watch. "four hours."  
  
    "Four hours to what?" Cas asked. Dean turned, walking back to the bed and pulling his t-shirt over his head.  
  
    "Take your clothes off and I'll tell you."  
  
    Castiel's eyebrows raised and he looked hesitantly back at the cradle.  
  
    "Is... is that okay?" he asked, but obediently began unbuttoning his shirt. Dean rested his hands on his hips.   
  
    "Cas," he began. "She's probably going to be sleeping in our room for a long time, maybe a year. And I'm not going to limit the times we get to have sex to when Sam is feeling generous. We'll just have to... be quiet."  
  
    Castiel looked conflicted.   
  
    "How quiet? Do you think we are loud?"  
  
    "No," Dean replied, embarrassed to be speaking so frankly about it. "We'll just... just get in bed."  
  
    Castiel complied, stripping down to his skin before sliding beneath the sheet to join Dean. The hunter pulled him into an embrace, and Castiel accepted his kiss, his hand's roaming over Dean's warm, muscular flesh. Dean loved the juxtaposition in Castiel's touch, being both intrigued and practiced, soothing over the back of his shoulders, the swell of his bicep and the angle of his hip. He had never been with someone so utterly in awe of his body, wanting to test every nerve. He was beginning to wonder why he ever had an issue with being with a man.  
  
    "Cas," Dean murmured, kissing along the angel's jaw, beneath his ear and down the tendon of his throat. "You got the wheel on this one, buddy,"  
  
    Castiel stilled a moment, his gruff voice was quiet when he responded.   
  
    "I don't know what that means," Dean dropped his head to Cas's shoulder, but lifted it again after Castiel spoke. "You're angry with me."  
  
    "No," he replied, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice. "I just meant... I want you to..." he sighed. He couldn't bring himself to say it. "Just... just come here,"  
  
    Dean pulled Castiel back into a kiss, wrapping his arms around the Angel and pressing in against him. Castiel returned the kiss hungrily, pursuing Dean's lips as the younger man lay back on the the pillows beneath his head. The action forced Cas to lean over him, and it took little coaxing for him to move his body over Dean's, settling between the hunter's thighs. Dean moaned at the contact, his hands sliding down Castiel's back and resting on his hips. Castiel leaned up on his forearms, looking down into Dean's face.   
  
    "This is what you meant?" he asked, quietly. Dean didn't respond, he just stared up into Castiel's face. Castiel leaned down to kiss him and Dean slid his tongue along the Angel's, bringing his hand's up to his face. He sighed when Cas pulled away again, sitting up on his knees between the younger man's open thighs. Dean watched him lean off the bed, reaching into the nightstand. He turned his focus onto the taut muscles of Cas's torso, sliding his hand over the hard, cool surface of his skin. Castiel was beautiful. And a fast learner.   
  
    Dean felt the heated flush of arousal spread across his chest and up this throat as he watched the Angel slowly stroke the clear lubricant over his erection. He wanted to cover his eyes, but he kept them on Castiel, watching the way the Angel was watching him. The light in the room was enough for there to be no mystery about what was happening, every hard line of the Angel's muscle was visible where he kneeled. Dean could only imagine what he must look like to Cas, laying on his back, his legs open in invitation. His blush deepened.   
  
    "Cas," he whispered, his hands reaching out to touch the Angel's arms, beckoning him forward. Castiel leaned down, resting his forearm above Dean's head, using his other hand to guide himself to the younger man's entrance. Dean closed his eyes, letting out a steady breath, pushing back against the mounting pressure and with maddening slowness, Castiel sank into the warm body beneath him. Dean sighed, letting his legs fall farther apart, allowing Castiel in as close as possible. The Angel gave several long, slow thrusts, gauging Dean's reaction to the sensation. Somewhere, there was a magic spot that seemed to set the hunter on fire, and he wasn't yet familiar enough with his body or the act to find it straight off. But he knew what pleasure it could bring - Dean seemed to have no trouble finding it. He tilted his hips, adjusting the angle in which he pressed into Dean again. The younger man gave a sharp exhale and closed his hands over Castiel's biceps. Cas looked up into Dean's face.   
  
    "There?" he asked, thrusting into him again. Dean trembled and he shook his head in the affirmative. Castiel's next thrust had Dean moaning, gritting his teeth in an effort not to cry out. The Angel's pace was driving him crazy, stroking that spot inside just long enough to light him up before moving away to let him cool.   
  
    "God, Cas," Dean hissed, pulling the Angel down against him in an effort to get closer. Castiel slid his hands under Dean's back, resting his weight in his arms so he could accommodate Dean's desire without crushing him. Dean swore; the new position giving him better access to the Angel's mouth, but leaving him unable to move his hips. "Cas, please..."  
  
    "Is this painful?"    Castiel ask, pausing in his movement. Dean sucked in a breath, shaking his head. Cas tilted his head to the side. "...are you sure?"  
  
    "Yes," Dean gasped. "Just... don't... stop..." he pressed his forehead to the Angel's shoulder, his face burning with embarrassment at the thought of how much he enjoyed what was being done to him. Sure he loved Castiel, sure he wanted to see him happy, but he wasn't supposed to like this... not this much. And there was no escaping the pleasure that was surging through him with every forward thrust of the Angel's hips. His own erection felt thick and tense, and a low groan escaped him at the telltale sensation of tightness just beneath his shaft. "Cas," he grunted, dropping his head to the pillow. Castiel quieted him with a kiss, but Dean turned his head away, unable to concentrate on anything but the swelling pressure inside. "Cas, please," he whispered, "please... so close..."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed and he pushed himself up onto his palms.   
  
    "Is this better?" he asked. Dean gave a huff of laughter that ended in a moan. Castiel's new position allowed him deeper penetration, and pressed the head of his erection almost painfully on target.    
  
    "Yes!-fuck- yes," Dean hissed, screwing his eyes shut and driving a hand into his hair. "Just... faster... please,"  
  
    Castiel complied, increasing the frequency of his thrusts until he felt Dean's body tense beneath him. Dean grimaced, trying to keep his mouth pressed shut as his orgasm ripped through him. The muscles in his thighs and abdomen clenched tightly, his release spilling onto his stomach. He heard Castiel give a quiet groan as the rhythmic pulsing of Dean's muscles drew him in deeper. Dean relaxed against the mattress, sighing heavily as the final wave of pleasure washed away. He tried to breath steadily, keeping new arousal at bay as Castiel continued to move inside him. Dean brought his hands up to stroke the Angel's back as Cas sank back to his elbows. Dean leaned up to kiss his face and neck, and he could feel the tendon's in the Angel's throat tense a second before he thrust deep, his release washing over him. He collapsed against the hunter, who wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead.   
  
    Once Cas's breathing slowed, he pulled away from the younger man and lay at his side. Dean lay an arm above his head, but reached down to run his fingers through Castiel's hair. Both were quiet for several long moment. Castiel spoke first, hesitantly.  
  
    "Was that satisfactory?"  
  
    Dean smirked, nodding, making a small sound of affirmation. Castiel was quiet again before speaking.   
  
    "Is this shameful... what we do?" he asked. Dean turned to him, seeing true curiosity in the other man's blue eyes. He felt his skin grow warm and a odd twisting wrenched his stomach.  
  
    "No," he replied. "No. Why would you ask that?"  
  
    Castiel shrugged.   
  
    "Because. You never actually come out and say what you mean. There is a lot of allusion and I don't understand."  
  
    Dean sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.   
  
    "It's not because it's shameful," he explained. "It's because it's... new. It's unfamiliar territory." he rolled over onto his side and leaned up on his elbow. "Do you know how long it was after I'd been with women before I could say the word 'breasts' and keep a straight face?" Castiel's eyebrows rose. "like seven years. There are just some things that... that take a while to get used to." he sighed. "Human culture, especially American culture, just insists that it's something you don't say outright." he shook his head, looking back into Cas's eyes. "It's not... not because I'm ashamed." a blush rose to his face as he continued with a laugh. "We will be together fifty years, and I'll still not be able to ask you outright if you want to be on top."  
  
    Castiel considered that.  
      
    "So... you would be uncomfortable if I said what I desired... outright."  
  
    Dean shook his head.   
  
    "Hell no," he answered, watching Castiel's brow furrow. "That'd be hot. I want you to tell me what you want. Spell-it-out." he grinned, giving a nod. "You do that."    
  
    "I... don't understand."  
  
    Dean touched Castiel's cheek.  
  
    "I want you to be... fulfilled," he responded. "I want to hear what you want, so I can do what you want."   
  
    "That makes no sense," Cas told him, a frown on his face. "I want the same things." Dean raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "Well, you weren't raised with the taboo, so... you're free to ask away."  
  
    Castiel sighed more heavily than Dean had ever heard him, and the amount of exasperation in the Angel's demeanor made him laugh. He could have sworn her heard the other man mumble something about 'humans'.   
  
    "Tell you what," Dean spoke, earning a sideways glance that warmed his heart. "I'll tell you this..." he swallowed, his chest tight suddenly. "I would love... to put my arms around you... and hold you until I fall asleep. Hm?"  
  
    Cas's expression softened and he nodded.   
  
    "I would like that too," he agreed.   
  
    "Good," Dean murmured, moving in close behind Castiel and wrapping his arm around him. He lay his cheek against the cool surface of Cas's shoulder. As much as it pained him to have Cas question the appropriateness of their relationship, he still felt he was ahead of the game. He'd told the Angel he loved him at least a handful of times - and that was a record with any other being. And wasn't admitting such a vulnerable emotion more risky than asking someone to fuck you hard? He wasn't sure. Loving Cas came easily. Corrupting Cas was hard. Maybe that's what felt shameful.   
  
    He knew that was only part of it. He was a man, sleeping with another man. That, quite frankly, was the problem. That, as much as he loved Cas, at the end of the day - he was banging Jimmy Novak. Dean sighed, pressing his forehead to Cas's shoulder.   
  
    "I love you, Dean," the Angel spoke, in his deep, even voice. Dean smiled.   
  
    "Me too,"   
  
    Their quiet moment was interrupted by a mewling whine from the cradle. Castiel pulled away from Dean, retrieving his pants from the floor and pulling them on before crossing to the bathroom and washing his hands. Dean gave a snort of laughter as Cas moved to the baby's bed. Dean leaned up on his elbow, watching the Angel lift the baby to his shoulder and bouncing her gently in his arms.   
  
    "What troubles you?" he asked the baby, running a hand over her hair and laying a kiss there. "You need your sleep. At least, I think you do... you are half angel... maybe you only need half your sleep. Hm? Maybe you should just half sleep?"  
  
    A smile spread slowly across Deans face as his eyes moved from Castiel's face, the baby snuggled to his throat, down the long, lean frame of his bare torso. Okay, so he was banging Jimmy Novak. Jimmy Novak was a damned fine vessel. But he was in love with Castiel. And he would never consider any of this a bad thing. 

    Dean lay back on the bed, watching Cas. The last month was so surreal, and he wasn’t sure what he could have done to have such good fortune. Even though Cas tried to convince him that the good was just to make up for the bad, he still had a sinking feeling that this was the universe setting him up for the big fall. He wanted to believe that this was real. That he was in love, and was a father, and had his mom back. He couldn’t think about it too long or he couldn’t breathe or see straight. He cleared his throat, holding out his hand.   
  
    “Bring her over here,” he said to Castiel. “Bring yourself, too.”  
  
    Cas smiled, carefully rising from his seat and crossing back to the bed. Dean moved in close to them both, laying his arm across Castiel’s waist and placing a kiss on the Angel’s bare arm.   
  
    “Go to sleep, Dean,” Castiel murmured, adjusting the baby against his chest so he could free his hand to rest on Dean’s back. “You’ll feel better in the morning,”  
  
    “I feel fine now,” Dean replied, his voice muffled against the Angel’s side. “Really. Fine.”  
  
    Castiel looked down at him, brushing his fingers gently through the younger man’s hair. After a couple minutes, Dean spoke.  
  
    “Are you mojo’ing me to sleep?” he asked, tiredly. Castiel smiled softly, continuing to stroke his fingertips over Dean’s scalp.   
  
    “Absolutely not,” he replied.

  
~~~~~~~~~~


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How're you going to tell that child one day that she doesn't have a mother?" John asked. Four pairs of eyes turned his way; three angry, one confused.  
>  "I don't have a mother," Castiel spoke, his head tilting. "Just one father. Mary has two."  
>  John sighed, shaking his head.  
>  "That's a little different, Castiel - if it's even the case." he replied, but he turned to Dean. "How will you tell that little girl why she doesn't have a mom?"  
>  "Well," Sam snapped, a smirk on his face. "He did a good job explaining it to me,"  
>  John's expression darkened and he turned to the younger boy.  
>  "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.  
>  "Really?" Sam shot back, slamming his hand down on the table. "Really?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sick in bed, so I have nothing to do but update. I hope you all like it. Again, this story wasn't really written for anyone's reading but my own, so I appreciate all the lovely feedback you all have given me. This isn't supposed to be a great novel, just a bit of fluff and happiness (with a side of angst). But mostly fluffiness. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> FYI - this chapter contains a bit of smut.

**Chapter specific warning: minor mention of anxiety**

 

    Dean wasn't sure if it was his nerves or his excitement, but he was awake after only a little more than his usual four hours - which wasn't his usual nights sleep since starting this relationship with Cas. It was only five am when he woke. Cas was setting in the chair by the window, wearing his dress pants and Dean's T-shirt, and holding the baby against his chest. Dean smiled, stretching out across the bed and groaning with almost indecent satisfaction before pulling himself from the bed. Castiel watched him, his eyes traveling the length of Dean's muscular, naked body as the younger man pulled on the jeans from the floor.   
  
    Dean meandered around the bed to kiss the Angel on top of his head before heading in to the bathroom. Cas could hear the shower turn on, and he waited patiently while he held the baby. The infant cuddled close to Castiel's neck, cooing softly as she tried to keep herself awake. In a matter of minutes, Dean returned to the room, a towel slung low on his hips, beads of water still clinging to his skin.   
  
    "What a beautiful morning," Dean commented, grinning over at Castiel as he pulled a pair of boxers from his duffel bag and pulling them on. "And we're up in time to see the sunrise."  
  
    Castiel sat forward and placed the baby gently in the cradle as he looked out the window at the strip of orange light breaking the horizon. Dean pulled on a pair of blue jeans and came to stand by his side. Instead of watching the sky, he looked down at his child.   
  
    "Beautiful," he murmured. Castiel turned to him, following his eye-line down to their daughter. He nodded in agreement.   
  
    "Dean," he said lowly, tilting his head to the side. "May I... ask you something?"  
  
    Dean's brows drew together and he tilted his head up, looking down at the Angel.   
  
    "What?"  
  
    Castiel sighed; he knew that look. The look that said "whatever you're thinking is stupid, Castiel". He crossed his arms over his chest.   
  
    "If it wasn't for Mary," he began,  
  
    "Ah, ah, ah," Dean exclaimed, raising his hands and bringing them down on Cas's face. "Don't say another damn word." he moved closer to the Angel. "Before you ask me if it weren't for Mary - would we still be together, would we still have a life together, would I still love you - know this:" he leaned down, his forehead almost touching Castiel's as he leered. "I was lost from the first time you touched my inner thigh,"  
  
    "Dean," the Angel groaned, rolling his eyes skyward as the hunter laughed. Dean kissed Cas's face.  
  
    "You can't piss me off this morning, Cas," he said humorously. "I just woke up to a beautiful sunrise, to my beautiful daughter, and to my Angel - who's not too hard on the eyes," Castiel shook his head and blushed. Dean continued. "And in an hour or so, I'm gonna go downstairs and my mom is going to make me breakfast," his voice seemed to catch with emotion, and Castiel looked into his eyes. "And that is going to be a damn fine day."       
  
    Castiel nodded, understanding Dean's exuberance; feeling the younger man's joy. Dean gave a wag of his eyebrows, sliding his hands down Castiel's torso and resting them on his hips and pulling him closer.   
  
    "This is a kinda sexy clothing combination," he murmured, "What would it take to get you out of them?"  
  
    "You... you just took a shower, Dean," Castiel spoke lamely, his eyes closing as Dean began to kiss him along his throat.   
  
    "But you haven't," he replied. Cas groaned again, his knees feeling slightly weak.   
  
    "Dean, I..." his words died away under Dean's mouth and he slid his hands over the younger man's bare back. Dean pushed him back toward the bed, and they collapsed on the mattress. Once they were laying together on the bed, Dean's kisses became less frantic and more deep, lingering. Dean settled in between Castiel's thighs, sighing contentedly as he took refuge in the Angel's lips. He had to say, he was finding this relationship with Cas to be very fulfilling. He could even imagine talking to him about all his feelings... someday.  
  
    The deep, soulful kisses soon became short and sweet, Dean barely brushing his lips against the Angel's. He sighed again, brushing the hair back off of Castiel's forehead as he looked down into his face.   
  
    "I..." he began hesitantly, licking his lips as his gaze moved between the older man's blue eyes and his mouth. "think... that I love you...very much,"  
  
    "I think," Castiel replied, his hands resting on Dean's hips. "that that makes me very happy. No matter what happens, I'm glad I've had this time with you,"      
  
    "Don't ruin the moment, Cas," Dean grimaced, leaning back in and kissing him again. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "Sorry. I didn't mean it that way," he replied. "I just mean, regardless of what the future has in store, this... this has been beautiful."  
  
    Dean frowned, watching the Angel as he looked up into his eyes. His voice was rough when he spoke.  
  
    "You're beautiful, Cas," he said, a tightness in his jaw. "You. And I don't know why it took me so long to see it."  
  
    Castiel didn't respond, he just stared back up at Dean, awed by the sentiment. He brought a hand to Dean's cheek, and Dean leaned down and kissed him deeply one more time, before simply pulling him into his arms and hugging him tightly. They lay together quietly as the sun continued to creep over the horizon. Soon, the sounds of others rising in the house carried up from downstairs and with reluctance Dean pulled away from Castiel. He pulled a T-shirt from his bag and pulled it over his head.   
  
    "I'm gonna take the baby down to feed her," he told the Angel. "You coming down?"  
  
    "I will," Castiel told him.   
  
    Dean grinned, collecting the infant into his arms and leaving the room. Just as he anticipated, his mother was in the kitchen preparing breakfast at the stove. She smiled broadly at him as he approached.   
  
    "Good morning, Dean," she greeted, and he leaned forward so she could kiss his cheek. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
    "Okay, considering that life has become a dream,"  
  
    She smiled and touched his cheek before he moved away to open the can of formula and place a measured scoopful into a bottle. Mary Winchester watched her son as he cradled the baby in one arm while preparing the bottle with the other.   
  
    "You're awfully good at that," she praised him, "And she's only two weeks old?"  
  
    Dean felt a bit of a heat on his neck.  
  
    "I'm a natural, I guess." he replied.   
  
    "Good morning!" Sam greeted as he came bounding into the room. He stopped by their mom, having to squat down to hug her. Dean noticed that his eyes were shiny as he turned to him. "Hey! Can I feed the baby?"  
  
    Dean chuckled, waiting until Sam settled in a chair before placing the baby in his arms. Sam cuddled the tiny infant, holding the bottle precisely at the angle he was shown. Dean draped a tea-towel over his brothers shoulder before crossing to his mother.   
  
    "Can I help with anything?" he asked. "I'd like to help."  
  
    Mary smiled at him, shaking her head.   
  
    "You sit down. I want to make breakfast for my boys."  
  
    The third of the Winchester men joined the kitchen next, followed by Bobby. The atmosphere in the room seemed to shift slightly, but it may have just been Sam and Dean's imagination. John ruffled Sam's hair before settling into the chair at the end of the table, next to his youngest son. Dean could see the grimace that changed his brother's expression. Dean sat down beside Sam, taking a napkin off the table and placing it on his lap. Just as Mary sat a plate of pancakes onto the table, Castiel appeared in the doorway. All eyes turned to the Angel, who paused awkwardly. Mary beamed at him.   
  
    "You're not leaving, are you Castiel?" she asked. Castiel looked back toward the door, his brow furrowing.  
  
    "I... don't believe so," he replied. John spoke to the Angel without turning to him.   
  
    "I think the overcoat makes it look like you're trying to beat a hasty retreat," he said. "But, we understand if you have to go."   
  
    "Come sit down, Cas," Dean spoke, pulling out the chair beside himself. Castiel approached cautiously, setting stiffly next to Dean. Mary gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder as she sat a cup of coffee in front of him and settling in the last empty chair at his side. As soon as she sat, the Winchester boys made a move toward the food. Mary's next words stopped them.   
  
    "Would you mind saying grace, Castiel?"  
  
    Castiel looked around at the blank faces on the other men, before stopping on Dean. Dean nodded, holding out his hand. Mary, at his other side, was holding out her hand as well. Castiel took hold of their hands before lowering his head and closing his eyes.   
  
    "Father," he began, his normally rough voice sounding smooth and even. "I thank you for the many blessing you have bestowed upon this good family. We thank you for the good fortune you have shown, returning those whom we love, providing for us in lean times and in time of plenty. We ask that you please bless this meal of which we are to partake, so that we are nourished by your holy favor and are strengthened by your divine purpose as we continue in your service, and we may bring glory to your name. Amen."  
  
    A quiet murmur of 'amen' echoed after the Angel finished speaking and he turned to Dean for approval. The young hunter smiled, giving an almost imperceptible squeeze of his hand before he let go.   
  
    "So what are you boys doing today?" Mary began, seeming unable to take the smile from her face. "Anything interesting?"  
  
    Sam shrugged, setting the bottle on the table and positioned the baby over his arm.   
  
    "I'm going to kidnap Mary and spirit her away," he said in an amused tone that made Dean chuckle and Castiel narrow his eyes. "Only joking, Cas," he finished. Mary turned to her oldest son.   
  
    "And you Dean?"  
  
    Dean finished swallowing a mouthful of pancakes before speaking.   
  
    "I'm doing a bit of work on the car," he explained. "Making sure she's road ready. I, uh, I gotta little road trip to take tomorrow and I want to make sure i get there okay."  
  
    "Where are you going?" Mary asked. "Can you put it off for a bit?"  
  
    Dean looked repentant, but shook his head.   
  
    "Sorry mom, but I can't. I have um..." he glanced to his father before looking back to his plate. "I have some...job interviews lined up. Good jobs. Don't want to miss the chance. I was supposed to leave this morning. I’ve put it off a day already."  
  
    "What kind of jobs?" Mary asked, turning in her seat to look past Castiel to her son. Dean took a deep breath.   
  
    "Garage jobs, mom. But good ones."  
  
    Mary's brow furrowed and she looked down at Sam.   
  
    "What do you do, Sam?" she asked. Sam didn't look up as he continued to feed the baby.  
  
    "I'm between jobs right now."  
  
    Mary looked around at all of the downturned face. The only one looking back at her was Castiel.  
  
    "And what do you do, Castiel?" she asked with a grin, twisting one golden strand of hair before tossing it over her shoulder. Castiel gave a soft smile.   
  
    "I watch over Dean. And now the baby."  
  
    There was a clatter of silverware as the fork in Dean's hand slipped. He gave a weak smile as he picked the fork back up, shoving a large bite of pancake into his mouth. Castiel turned to Sam.   
  
    "I should probably take the baby upstairs to bathe her." he said, standing. Both Sam and Mary looked wistfully at him. Dean spoke before Castiel could make another move.   
  
    "Cas," he said, stopping the Angel in his tracks. "Maybe you could let mom do that?"  
  
    "Of course," Castiel replied, turning back to the woman. "Please,"  
  
    Mary smiled even wider, rising from her chair. She gave both Cas and Dean a pat on the head as she passed to take the baby from Sam's arms. She whispered soft, sweet words to the child as she carried her from the room. Sam sighed, pulling three now cold pancakes onto his plate and covering them in maple syrup. There was a long moment of silence before John spoke.   
  
    "How're you going to tell that child one day that she doesn't have a mother?" he asked. Four pairs of eyes turned his way; three angry, one confused.   
  
    "I don't have a mother," Castiel spoke, his head tilting. "Just one father. Mary has two."  
  
    John sighed, shaking his head.   
  
    "That's a little different, Castiel - if it's even the case." he replied, but he turned to Dean. "How will you tell that little girl why she doesn't have a mom?"  
  
    "Well," Sam snapped, a smirk on his face. "He did a good job explaining it to me,"  
  
    John's expression darkened and he turned to the younger boy.  
  
    "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.   
  
    "Really?" Sam shot back, slamming his hand down on the table. "Really?"  
  
    "Look, it's alright," Dean interrupted, holding up a hand toward Sam. "Family's family, okay? Mary's got two parents - who love her - and that's all that matters, okay? Dad, really..."  
  
    John shook his head, and Sam continued to seethe. Dean seemed to be having a hard time bringing air into his lungs. Castiel stood.  
  
    "If you will excuse me," he spoke robotically, moving from the room. Dean watched him go, unable to go after him - that would seem too after-school-special. And... he just couldn't in front of his dad.  
  
    A loud scraping of chair legs against the wood floor drew everyone's attention to Sam. He stood, throwing his napkin down on his plate and glaring at his brother and father before striding from the room. John shook his head.   
  
    "Damn that boy's gotten tall," he commented. Dean rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.   
  
    Sam took the stairs three at a time, following the Angel up to his room. His mother was just lifting the baby out of the tub, wrapping her in a thick, cotton towel. She smiled at the two men.   
  
    "I guess I'm being greedy," she admitted. "She is such a precious thing, Castiel,"  
  
    Castiel nodded, taking the bundled baby from her.   
  
    "Please," he told her. "Call me... Cas."  
  
    Mary smiled at him.  
  
    "Of course, Cas," she told him. "I'm going to go clean up the kitchen." Mary patted Castiel on the arm as she passed, reaching up to touch her son affectionately on the cheek as she left the room. Castiel turned to Sam, surprised to see him.   
  
    "Did you want to dress the baby?" he asked, carrying the child to the bed and laying her at the end. Sam shook his head, sinking to the floor beside them so he was on the baby's eye-line.   
  
    "You gotta ignore my dad, Cas," he spoke quietly, watching the Angel gently dry the water from the baby's skin. "He's a real ass."  
      
    "He is you father," Castiel replied, but he did not elaborate. Sam sighed.   
  
    "Well, he's being an ass. You're a good guy Cas, Angel or no. And..." he shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "Dean loves you. Who cares?"  
  
    "I've brought your brother pain," Castiel said darkly, staring down at the little girl looking raptly across to Sam. Sam reached across the bed and took her tiny hand in his. "He worries about things he's never had to worry about before. He has his father back, yet there is discord. I... I am not sure what to do."   
  
    "There was discord before," Sam told him with a sigh, rubbing his thumb over the baby's soft fingers. "Dean just... Dean just doesn't know how to deal with dad. He's always been... I don't know."  
  
    "I know," Cas said quietly, turning from Sam and collecting a diaper and an outfit for the baby. He handed them to the younger Winchester without a word. Sam sat up on his knees, dressing the baby in her diaper and a tiny pink jumper. He could feel Castiel's silence, like a separate presence in the room. He looked up at him covertly and could see the Angel staring pensively out the window.   
  
    Sam scowled, feeling a tightness in his chest. True, he had his own doubts when Dean told him about Cas, but he accepted it because he loved Dean. He knew his brother, he knew his brother loved the Angel. And he was 100% certain that Castiel loved his brother. And he would be damned - again - if he let anything ruin the fact that Dean was finally happy.   
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean walked out into the yard, acutely aware that his father was following him. With cool efficiency, he gathered the tools he would be needing to work on the Impala, and he and he father began working in silence: checking the oil, coolant, and steering fluid. After twenty minutes of quiet, John Winchester spoke.   
  
    "So," he said, not looking to his son. "Where and when did you meet this Angel?"  
  
    Dean sighed, feeling a knot form in his stomach.   
  
    "Well..." he began, grabbing an oil pan and sitting down on the rolling board. "... I was in a bind and he showed up to help me out."  
  
    "A bind?" John questioned, handing his son a torque wrench. Dean took the tool, laying back and sliding beneath the car.   
  
    "Yeah, a bind." he replied, popping the gasket keeping the oil inside and letting it spill into the pan. "A big, hellish, tortuous bind."  
  
    John was quiet a moment before responding.   
  
    "The rumor is he pulled you out of the pit,"  
  
    Dean closed his eyes, taking a measured breath.  
  
    "Yeah, something like that."   
      
    Once the oil was drained, Dean replaced the gasket and slid out from under the car. He wiped his hands on a rag and grabbed the bottle of oil and a funnel. John took them from him and began to replace the oil in the car.   
  
    "He's a bit... average, for an Angel. I thought they'd have wings and halos,"  
  
    "He does," Dean shrugged, absently brushing some gunk from around the battery. "They just can't be seen with the human eye. You can just see the vessel."  
  
    "Vessel?" his father asked, finally turning to him. "Like, possession? Like demon possession?"  
  
    "No!" Dean scoffed, swallowing the lump in his throat. "No..."  
  
    John turned to him, folding his arms over his chest and staring down at his son.   
  
    "So you're telling me that that Angel is not wearing the body of a normal human man?"  
  
    Dean frowned, but didn't speak. His father gave an exasperated sigh.  
  
    "Damnit Dean," he said harshly. "Who is the poor guy? What was his life? Did he have a family?" Dean felt his jaw tense and he was unable to speak. John continued. "So this vessel has to give up his life so an Angel, who doesn't even belong on earth, can play house?" Dean's eyebrows drew together. His father lay a hand on his shoulder. "Look Dean, I'm sure a lot has gone south since I left. But, you need to be straight with me. This man... who was he."  
  
    Dean stared back at him, his voice low when he finally found it.   
  
    "Jimmy Novak... from Pontiac, Illinois."   
  
    John asked the next question calmly.   
  
    "Did he have a family?"   
  
    Feeling a sick heat rising up his throat, Dean nodded but couldn't speak. John sighed, placing both hands on Dean's shoulders.   
  
    "That little girl is yours, that can't be changed. But you can't ask an innocent man to give up _his_ life and _his_ family. Angel's don't have a place on this planet. They're realm is heaven... ." he shook his head. "What happened to you, boy?... Did you... make some sort of deal or something?"  
  
    "Cas isn't like that," Dean insisted. "I... I don't know what happened."  
  
    "That sounds supernatural to me," John insisted. "I know the exact moment I looked at your mother and realized I loved her and what I loved about her. I didn't have to be convinced."  
  
    Dean felt lightheaded, and unable to take a deep enough breath. He narrowed his eyes, pretending to consider his father's words but he was really trying to keep tears from forming.   
  
    "What're you talking about?"  
  
    Both men turned to the sharp voice that spoke and it was Sam striding across the salvage yard toward them. His expression was menacing. Dean turned toward him, putting himself between his brother and father.   
  
    "Just catching up," John told him. "Why don't you join us?"  
  
    Sam turned to his brother, ignoring his father's words.   
  
    "I was going to make a beer run. You wanna go with?"  
      
    Dean nodded, turning back to his dad.   
  
    "We'll, uh... be right back." he pulled the funnel out of the engine and dropped the hood on the Impala. But instead of taking the Chevy, he followed Sam to the side yard where the running cars sat. They got in a beat up, tangerine colored Festiva and started out toward the road. Dean gave a curious look to his brother, who was still scowling and breathing tightly.   
  
    "Dean, I don't mean to be a jerk or hurt your feelings or anything," Sam started, his voice almost harsh. "But dad hasn't been here for you. _Cas_ has been here for you. So whatever bullshit dad is throwing at you about you being with Cas, you just tell him to shove it." he added as an afterthought: "Mom likes him."  
  
    Dean rubbed the back of his neck, before running a hand through his hair.   
  
    "Sam," he began wearily. "What do you want me to say?"  
  
    "What do I want you to say?!" Sam demanded, turning from the road to gape at his brother. "I want you to say that you're not going to dump Cas because you've been browbeaten by a man - who frankly, has never been a father to either of us - because his archaic view of masculinity doesn't fit with the love you've found."  
  
    "Really?" Dean grimaced, looking back at his brother. "Because you were so on board from the go?"  
      
    Sam shook his head, staring out at the road ahead.   
  
    "I'm not going to say I wasn't. But I'm not an idiot. I'm not blind. I... I've seen the way you look at him, Dean."  
  
    Dean closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the seat.   
  
    "You think it's the same way Amelia used to look at him?" he asked. Sam's brow furrowed.   
  
    "Amelia?" he asked. But, as soon as the name was out of his mouth, he understood. "Dean..."  
  
    Dean shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms and turning away from Sam.  
  
    "I never considered that, for me to be happy, I had to destroy someone's family."  
  
    "Oh my god," Sam groaned. "It's not like that."  
  
    "Jimmy has a daughter too, Sam," Dean snapped, "He has a wife and a child. A ten year old who Cas never thought about when he bargained the poor guy out of his skin."  
  
    Sam balked.   
  
    "You're blaming Cas for this?" he demanded, shocked.  "Really? Because the way I see it, Cas made a legitimate deal with Jimmy to use him as a vessel. It was the demons fault that Jimmy couldn't go back to them. They ruined his life, Dean. Cas did the best he could."  
      
    "But what if he's still alive in there?" Dean asked. "I never once considered that this whole time..." his groaned. "How selfish does that make me?"  
  
    "Not selfish," Sam replied, shaking his head. "This isn't really an everyday situation...I'm just saying: don't let dad get in your head. You two aren't trying to hurt anyone."  
  
    True, Dean told himself. He wasn't _trying_ to hurt anyone. However, that never stopped anyone from actually getting hurt.   
  
    He and Sam bought the beer, returning to the house in silence. Dean returned to the car and Sam retreated to the library, absently surfing the internet. When the older Winchester brother finished with his work, he trudged upstairs to take a shower. He stopped dead in the doorway of his room. Castiel was sitting on the side of the bed, his face expressionless and his eyes hollow.   
  
    "Where's Mary?" Dean asked, entering the room and shutting the door. Castiel's voice held no inflection when he spoke.   
  
    "You're mother is taking a nap with her." he replied. "I didn't think you would object."  
  
    Dean shook his head, rubbing his hands across his pantlegs. He felt uncomfortable.   
  
    "I'm, uh... going to take a shower," he said lamely, earning nothing but a blank look in response. He retreated to the bathroom, showing and changing into a fresh pair of jeans and T-shirt before returning to the room. Castiel hadn't moved. "You okay?" he asked the Angel. Castiel looked away.  
  
    "... I thought you were praying to me..." he spoke. When he did not elaborate, Dean prompted.   
  
    "And?"  
  
    Castiel stood, moving away from the younger man to stand by the window.   
  
    "You were only talking _about_ me... second guessing my motives." Dean's eyes slid closed and he groaned inwardly. Castiel continued before Dean could speak. "I didn't listen long. I wasn't trying to intrude."   
  
    "Look, Cas," he began, but the Angel interrupted.   
  
    "I regret what my actions have caused to an innocent and devout man," he told Dean. "I was unable to complete my mission in my true form, and I needed a vessel. You are right. I never considered what damage I could cause. That I would rob a child of her father. I never considered what would become of his life."  
  
    "I know that Cas," Dean sighed. "I know you were only doing what you had to do. Jimmy... you warned him of the possibilities. He knew."  
  
    "Did he?" Castiel asked. "Because, I'm not so sure. Humans... sometimes their realm of understanding can be so narrow."  
  
    Dean frowned.   
  
    "Like me?"  
  
    Castiel's shoulder's seemed to sag.  
  
    "You want to be angry. I don't blame you."  
  
    "I don't _want_ to be angry," Dean insisted, crossing to the Angel but having a hard time reaching for him. "I just... I'm mad at myself for..." he gave an exasperated sigh. "For not thinking. For never wondering if this is what... what he wants..."  
  
    Castiel tilted his head, watching Dean a moment through narrowed eyes.   
  
    "Jimmy Novak is in Heaven, Dean," he said gently. "He has been for quite some time. When my vessel was so damaged that even my powers as an Angel were compromised, his soul departed. This vessel was recreated for me so I do not need another human host. I promised him that I would never occupy Claire, and that is a promise I intend to keep."  
  
    Dean stared at him in disbelief.   
  
    "He's... dead?"  
  
    "His soul departed and is in Heaven...yes."  
  
    Dean took a deep breath.   
  
    "So... it's just you in there?" he asked. Castiel nodded.   
  
    "Yes." he looked away again, turning his back on the hunter. "I'm sorry I've disappointed you. I... I can see how you could see me as selfish and cold."  
  
    "I don't," Dean told him, crossing to where he stood and touching the Angel's shoulder. "I didn't know about Jimmy," he said gently. "That had to be hard on you."  
  
    Castiel gave one slow nod.   
  
    "I cared for him, yes." he replied. "When I arrived on this planet, I fully intended to return him to his life when my mission was complete. But the demons... then he left... and..." he turned to Dean, his eyes now full of tears and shame. "And I was already in love with you... so I fooled myself into thinking I could stay."  
  
    "I want you to stay Cas," Dean told him tightly. "I need you. Look," he grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing Cas to look at him straight on. "We can't change what happened to Jimmy. He was a decent guy and he did a selfless thing. But giving up what we have isn't going to bring him back. Or fix his life." Dean found it funny that it took Castiel's sorrow to talk him out of his own. He couldn't change what happened to the Novaks by punishing himself. Sometimes, you just had to roll with the punches - even the ones you throw. "Come here," he said, pulling the Angel close and wrapping his arms around him. It took a moment, but Castiel relaxed back against him, bringing his arms around Dean's back.   
  
    "I don't understand these feelings," he heard Castiel murmur against his shoulder. "I feel guilt and shame, yet... I don't."  
  
    Dean gave a half-hearted laugh.   
  
    "You don't understand it, because it's human. I feel that daily." He pulled back, looking down into Castiel's face. "Look, it's not going to be like this much longer. I promise." he could see Cas's eyes narrow slightly, and he continued quickly before he was interrupted again. "I'm going to get a job. I'm not coming back from this trip without one - no matter what. Then you and Mary and I are going to pack up and get the hell out of here."  
  
    "But... your family,"   
  
    Dean took a deep breath, bringing his hands to Cas's face.   
  
    "We have a family too," he told him. "We're not cutting anyone out of our lives. We're just making sure we get to have our life. Look Cas, I... I love you. Like... like I ain't never felt for anyone. But beside that - we got a little girl that we have to care for. We don't have the luxury of crying about our mistakes and trying to make them right. We gotta suck it up. It's not about you and me anymore. It's about Mary. Got it? And neither of us is going to do anything stupid to jeopardize the life we're going to make for her."  
  
    "I understand." Castiel replied. He took a deep breath as well, as if cleansing his lungs of the earlier pain. He nodded. "I understand, Dean. You're right."  
  
    "Damn right I'm right." Dean said with a self assured nod. "We're going to be great parents and have a great life. Jimmy's got my gratitude and he's just gonna have to work it out with me when I meet him in the afterlife... if I get to meet him."  
  
    "Probably not," Castiel answered, causing Dean to balk. "Heaven is individual. You probably won't meet again. You'll go on to your own heaven."  
  
    Dean smirked, happy that his words didn't go the way he was originally thinking.   
  
    "I'd rather be right here," he said, his hands sliding down to the Angel's hips, pulling him close. "Heaven on earth."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    In honor of Dean's last day at Bobby's before his road trip, Mrs. Winchester made a special dinner, ending in what had to be the best lemon cream pie Dean had ever consumed. It was almost indecent the way he moaned over every mouthful. Sam couldn't keep from chuckling over the way Castiel was watching his brother eat, as if he was incredibly confused by the sensation a simple slice of pie was supplying the elder Winchester brother. Bobby kicked the younger man under the table and Sam laughed harder.   
  
    After supper, the group retired to the living room to do nothing more than chat and enjoy each other's company. Mary and Sam sat side by side, fawning over the tiny baby with her honey-colored curls.   
  
    "It's going to be so hard for you to be away, Dean," his mother spoke, smiling at him. "You may think you'll be fine, but the first time away is the hardest. You should stay,"  
  
    "Gotta do what I gotta do, mom," he said, smiling back at her. Mary turned the baby in her arms so she was facing out toward the room and to where her fathers sat across from them.   
  
    "Look at this face?" she said to them with laughter in her voice. "How can you leave this face,"  
  
    "I'm not saying it ain't hard," Dean told her with a grin, watching as she let Sam take the baby from her arms. Mary stood and crossed to Cas and Dean. She put an arm around the Angel, leaning her head against his.   
  
    "How can you leave this face?" she asked him. Dean flushed, but chuckled and took a long drink of his beer.  
  
    "That's a little easier," he said, earning a boo from his mom.   
  
    "He doesn't mean it, Castiel," Mary laughed, walking over to her son and cupping his face her hands to kiss him on the forehead. "How long have you two been together, by the way?" she asked, settling between them. "You never told me how you met. I love those stories." she took Dean's hand in hers. "And falling for an Angel - that has to be quite a story."  
  
    Dean was saved from answering when Castiel spoke.   
  
    "It was I who fell," he spoke, earning the attention of everyone in the room. "Your son is the most brave, selfless, and determined human I have ever met. When I first came to earth, I thought it was my mission to help him. But, he has given so much to me... I am indebted."  
  
    Mary brought a hand to her heart.  
  
    "That's beautiful," she told him. "I'm so happy for you both. I have to say I may be biased, but I agree that you Cas. You have a good man here,"  
  
    Dean caught Castiel's eye and the Angel blushed, looking back across to his baby. Yes, he knew how lucky he was. Mary continued.  
  
    "You should have seen him as a baby - so sweet," she turned to her husband. "Did we lose all of the baby photos?"  
  
    John seemed started to be addressed, but recovered quickly, ignoring the eyes boring in to him from his youngest son.   
  
    "I'm afraid so," he answered with a frown. Mary sighed.   
  
    "I was afraid of that," she said. "At least you should have plenty of Sam as a baby, and Dean when he was young, right?"  
  
    The atmosphere in the room tensed. Sam settled back into the sofa as if preparing to watch his favorite film. He raised his eyebrows, interested in the answer. John shook his head.   
  
    "We've moved around a lot, so, I'm not sure where the photos would be. I'll have to take a look in storage."  
  
    Bobby could see the mischief in Sam's eyes, so he spoke quickly before the younger Winchester boy could start up.   
  
    "I think I have some photos, Mary," he said. "Lemme go get 'em."  
  
    Both Sam and Dean were surprised by the set of albums Bobby brought out and Sam handed little Mary over to the old hunter so he could settle on the floor between Dean and his mother. The group poured over every page and the photos of the young Winchester boys over the years and during their many visits and extended stays with Bobby. There was plenty of stories and laughter, but also a bit of tears as the boys and their mother had tangible evidence of how much they had missed. Castiel stood and crossed to Bobby, using the excuse of giving Mary her last bottle of the night to leave the recently reunited family to have a moment alone. He had a feeling that there would be many moments in the coming months that he would have to step away.   
  
    In the kitchen, Castiel picked a bottle and set it on the counter so he could read the back of the formula can. With a frown, he read the instructions, wishing he had paid more attention to Dean or Sam when they made the bottles. Opening the can, he dredged the small clear scoop out from within the starchy powder and scrutinized it, reading the measurements off the side.  
  
    "Let me do that,"  
  
    Cas looked up at Dean as he took the scoop from his hand. Dean gave him a smile, and Castiel watched him as he added one level scoop to the bottle and filled it with hot water from the tap before shaking it up. He tested the liquid on the inside of his forearm and, satisfied with the temperature, he held his arms out for the baby. Castiel handed her to him.   
  
    "You're hopeless Cas," Dean smirked. "What are you going to do without me,"  
  
    "I don't know," the Angel answered, honestly. "I suppose I will have to rely on Sam until I am not so hopeless. I assume your mother will assist me as well." Dean chuckled, leaning against the counter as he watched his daughter drink. She stared back at him with the same bright blue eyes as her father. Cas frowned. "You were not being literal, were you?" he asked. Dean merely smiled. Castiel leaned against the counter at his side. "What are you going to do without me?" he inquired. Dean sighed.   
  
    "Probably wear the hell out of my right arm," he mused, giving the Angel a sideways look. Castiel's eyes narrowed, but he didn't respond.   
  
    "You two flirting?" Sam asked as he entered the room, crossing to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water. Dean smirked and Castiel continued to look confused. "I see," Sam laughed, coming to stand in front of his brother and leaning down to kiss the baby. "Ugh, you guys are so lucky."  
  
    "Oh?" Dean asked, giving a sideways glance to the Angel.   
  
    "Yeah," Sam replied. "I mean, after all the shit we've been through, to get a gift like this... it just... just makes up for everything, doesn't it?"  
  
    Dean and Cas looked down at the little girl, whose blue eyes were moving back and forth between her father and her uncle. Dean smiled.   
  
    "Definitely." he replied, looking over at Cas and nodding. "Definitely."   
  
    "Hey," Sam spoke casually, watching his brother adjust the baby over his shoulder. "I know you need your sleep tonight since you have a long drive ahead of you tomorrow. So, would it be alright if Mary slept in my room?"  
  
    "She wakes up at one in the morning to eat," Dean warned him, patting the little girl's back. Castiel nodded.   
  
    "And she is usually very wet. _Very_." he stressed. Sam waved a hand, dismissively.   
  
    "So what?" he replied. "I know how to make the bottles and change diapers." he didn't want to admit that he liked taking care of the baby because he now wanted his own so badly. And it wouldn't hurt to give his brother and Cas a night alone before Dean was gone for a week. "Please? Don't you trust me?"  
  
    "Of course I trust you," Dean replied. "I just don't want you to think we like pawning her off."  
  
    "It's not pawning!" Sam insisted, taking the baby from his brother's arms. "I enjoy it. Really." he smiled down at the tiny infant, melting when she yawned. "I'm going to go get her ready for bed," he told them, carrying her from the room. Cas and Dean watched him go.  
  
    "Well," Dean sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking back at the Angel. "Sam took our kid. What do you think we should with our night?"  
  
    Castiel looked contemplative.  
  
    "I suppose, since you have at least a ten hour drive tomorrow," he told the younger man. "You should probably get some sleep. I can watch over you, make sure you sleep well." he shook his head, sadly. "I will be unable to be by your side for the following week. It is regrettable... I will... miss your company."  
  
    Dean stared at him a moment, his gaze trailing from Castiel's beautiful blue eyes down to his lips and back. Dean pushed himself away from the counter and turned, stepping close into the other man's personal space. Castiel looked up at him.    
  
    "Or we could go upstairs," Dean spoke in a low tone. "And I can fuck you so good that you'll still feel me by the time I get back home."  
  
    The way Castiel's mouth opened in a mixture of shock and awe was almost comical. He flushed a light pink, his eyes moving quickly to the living room and back, as if he were nervous someone would overhear. He turned back to Dean and swallowed before speaking.   
  
    "...okay."  
  
    Dean gave a smirk.  
  
    "Good man," he spoke, turning from Castiel and walking back to the living room. He said good night to his parents and Bobby, giving an extra long hug to his mother before heading upstairs. Castiel was not far behind him.   
  
    After locking the door and dimming the lights, Dean turned to Castiel and approached him slowly, bringing his hands up to the older man's face and kissing him deeply, gently. Castiel sighed, closing his eyes and submitting to the hunters desire. His body was already warm and flushed in anticipation, but he delighted in each of Dean's slow, searching touches. Dean untied the strip of blue fabric at Castiel's throat and slid the material from around his collar, letting it fall to the floor. He turned to the buttons on the Angel's shirt next, slowly undoing each one, his lips following his hands and tasting the cool flesh as it was revealed. Castiel's next sigh sent chills down his spine and tightened his groin.   
  
    They made their way toward the bed, shedding articles of clothes along the way. Dean ran his hands over the Angel's bare flesh, every moan from Castiel's mouth a reward that spurred him onward. He moved over the Angel, settling between his thighs and pressing up against him. Castiel squirmed, his breathing fast and shallow as he waited for Dean to make the next move.   
  
    "Dean," he whispered, running his hands up the hunter's arms. Dean silenced him with a kiss; pouring all his feelings of love and appreciation into the action as he continued to use his hands and body to leave the Angel aching for him. And he was. "Dean," Castiel whispered again. "Please..."  
  
    Cas groaned as Dean pulled away, setting back on his heals. The Angel watched the younger man through half-lidded eyes, bringing a hand to his hip when Dean returned to lie over him. Dean leaned down to kiss the Angel, but pulled away to watch the expression on his face as he slowly pushed inside. Castiel's eyes slid shut and he bit his lip, pressing back against the sensation of being so intimately filled. Dean smiled before placing a kiss on his forehead.  
  
    "You're gonna miss me," he murmured, thrusting into Castiel with purposeful, deep strokes. The Angel only moaned in response, his hands twisting into the sheets as Dean quickly struck that place inside him that was already aching to be touched. Dean concentrated on Castiel, focusing his movements on what made the Angel squirm and moan. He wanted to hear him call his name, and he wanted it to last.   
  
    Castiel ran his hands through Dean's hair as the younger man kissed and bit at the skin of his throat. He was starting to tremble, the muscles in the back of his thighs beginning to tense. Dean was leaning on his left arm, and he brought his right hand down to stroke the flesh low on Cas's abdomen before moving further, wrapping his finger's around the Angel's erection. Castiel gasped, his breath catching in his chest and he groaned the hunter's name.   
  
    "Dean... Dean, I..." the sensation was overwhelming, intense. Dean continued to move with methodical purpose, pushing Castiel closer and closer to the brink of release. Castiel dropped his head on the pillow, his hand in his hair, unsure of how to react to the deluge of pleasure. "Dean..." he gasped, looking up at the younger man for direction. "I... I can't... I can't think,"  
  
    Dean shook his head, languidly stroking the Angel from without and within.   
  
    "I don't want you think, baby," he whispered huskily, laying a soft kiss on Cas's ear. " _I want you come,_ "  
  
    Cas's brow furrowed, and he exhaled heavily. He wanted to ask Dean to explain what he was asking, but the pressure in his groin was almost painful and Dean was pushing deeper inside of him, with an insistent force. Castiel groaned, his eyes sliding closed once again and he let Dean's actions drive him to the pinnacle of release. Dean's name was on his lips when his orgasm stuck, and Dean pressed into him, making small, concentrated movements to sustain the waves of pleasure that pulsed through him. When Castiel relaxed, Dean let his own release spill into the warmth beneath him.   
      
    Dean kissed Castiel deeply as he pulled out from inside him, but he stay laying over the Angel. Castiel sighed contentedly, relishing the warm, satisfied sensation coursing through him and the soft kisses Dean was placing on his lips, his jaw, his chin.   
  
    "Dean?" Cas began, his hands gentry stroking the hard muscle of Dean's back. Dean made a sound of acknowledgement, but didn't cease tasting as much of Castiel's skin as he could. Cas brought his hand to the back of Dean's head, stroking his hair as he pondered his question. "I... I thought you wanted me to stay here with Mary...?"  
  
    Dean paused, raising his head to look down at the Angel.   
  
    "What?" he asked. "I do."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed as he looked up at the younger man.   
  
    "You said..." his eyes looked off to the side as he recalled the words. "... you said you wanted me to come... So, you don't want me to stay?"  
  
    Dean closed his eyes, shaking his head and sighing. He reached down off the side of the bed, picking up his t-shirt and using it to wipe the evidence of release off of Castiel's stomach, and where it had smeared across his own.   
  
    "Euphemism," he explained, indicating the shirt before dropping it back to the floor. " _Come_."  
  
    Castiel stared off the side of the bed a moment, contemplating the hunter's words.   
  
    "Oh," he said, turning back up to look into Dean's green eyes. "You were wanting me to reach the point of ejaculation... from your methods."  
  
    "Sexy," Dean replied, moving to lay at Castiel's side. "Why didn't I just say that?"  
  
    "It was appreciated," Cas told him. "I... I enjoyed it very much. You're... quite skilled."  
  
    Dean smirked, draping his arm over Castiel's head and gently stroking his finger's through the Angel's hair. He had a strange moment of surrealism, looking down at the man at his side. A year ago -  hell, five months ago - if you had told him that he would be laying it to Cas, and letting the Angel have him in return, he would have punched you in your face before ganking your life away. He'd always felt an attachment to the Angel, but this... but he was fooling himself if he thought he could look back and not find any evidence that this was where the path would lead them. Dean leaned over and kissed Castiel, letting his tongue gently stroke the other's as he leaned back over him. Castiel was nearly breathless when he pulled away.   
  
    "I'm going to miss you," Dean spoke quietly. "But I'll be back before you know it. You just trust Sammy and Bobby and mom, and... you just steer clear of John. Don't talk to him, don't let him get you alone."  
  
    "Why?"   
  
    "Because he's being kind of a douche, that's why," Dean replied. "But he'll get over it. Just... just do what I ask, okay?"  
  
    "I will," Castiel agreed. "Just promise me that if you need me, you will call?"   
  
    "Sure," Dean nodded, his hand absently caressing Castiel's abs. The Angel sighed.   
  
    "That..." he began pointedly, looking down at the younger man's hand. "Is arousing."  
  
    "Oh?" Dean asked, a smile on his face. "Then I'll stop," he lifted his fingers, bringing them back down to stroke the Angel's returning erection. "This better?"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "It's... uh... worse, actually..." he replied. Dean's smirk spread into a smile as he pushed himself up and moved back over the Angel.   
  
    "Damn.... look what I've done," he gave a wag of his eyebrows. "Guess I'll have to make it better."  
  
    Castiel moaned as Dean settled back between his thighs. He looked up at the younger man.  
  
    "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" he asked.   
  
    "Damn right," Dean replied, kissing Castiel deeply. "I'm gonna be gone for a week. So, I'm going to make the most of tonight."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dean?"  
> "Hey buddy," Dean spoke, trying to calm the Angel. "How's Mary?"  
> Castiel was quiet a moment before replying.  
> "She's fine." he replied evenly. "We're all fine."  
> "Good," Dean replied. "Look, Cas, I'm sorry It's been longer than I originally thought."  
> "It's almost been two weeks, Dean," Castiel informed him. "... are you ever coming back?"

**Chapter specific warning: minor mention of anxiety, homophobic and racial slurs.**

 

    Early the next morning after breakfast, Dean packed his duffel and a garment bag and brought them downstairs. Everyone in the house had congregated to see him off, and he held his daughter for as long as possible before handing her over to Cas.  
  
    "I should hit the road," he spoke, picking up his things and grabbing the keys to the Impala. His mother hugged him and he gave a nod to Bobby and his dad. Castiel, with the baby in his arms, and Sam followed him out to the car. "I'll call you when I get to my first stop. It should be around nine or ten tonight, if I make good time." he loaded his things in the car and turned back to them, taking out his wallet. "Look, here is some money. It'll be enough for food and diapers for the baby while I'm gone." he handed the bills to Sam. "If it's not enough, sell the Lawrence .22 I have under my bed," he hesitated a moment. "Just, don't let dad know."  
  
    "This will be enough," Sam assured him. "We have two cans of formula and three packs of diapers. We should be good."  
  
    Dean nodded. He turned to the baby in Castiel's arms, reaching out and brushing his fingers over her cheek.  
  
    "Come here, sweetheart," he spoke, taking the baby from the Angel's arms. "You be good while I'm gone," he told her. "If you throw any while parties, bring the cops, raise hell... I'll be very proud of you," Sam chuckled and Castiel's brows drew together. Dean kissed the baby's head, snuggling her for a moment before handing her to Sam. "You two take care of her," he advised them. "Take care of each other." Sam could tell by the look Dean gave him that the request was 'take care of Cas'.  
  
    "We will," Sam told him. "Come on, M." he said, turning and leaving his brother and the Angel to say their goodbyes. Dean watched him go, waiting until his brother and daughter disappeared into the house before turning to Cas.  
  
    "You be good, too," he advised, raising an eyebrow.  
  
    "I will." Castiel agreed. Dean continued.  
  
    "You stick close to Sammy. Keep an eye on the baby and my mom. Don't... don't give your brothers any reasons to come poking around."  
  
    Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Okay."  
  
    "And like I said, I'll be back in a week - with a job. And we'll get on with our life." Dean took a deep breath, looking back toward the house, making sure the windows and doors were vacant of peering eyes. "Come here," Castiel took a step forward and into Dean's embrace. The hunter gave him an affectionate thump on the back. "Be good," he repeated, letting the Angel go. "I'll call you,"  
  
    "Dean," Castiel spoke before he could turn away. Dean looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. Castiel looked seriously back at him. "Have a safe journey. I wish you luck. But please know... regardless of what happens, we will have a life together. If that is what you truly want, because it is what I truly want. And even if it is difficult at times, we will be together."  
  
    Dean nodded.  
  
    "I know." he agreed. "But I wont give up."  
  
    "I know," Castiel told him, a small smile on his face. "I know you won't. And I have faith in you." Dean smiled back at him. Castiel took a step closer, bringing a hand up to lay on Dean's hair.  
  
    John Winchester peeled back the curtain and glanced down the drive to where his son and the Angel stood by the Impala. Mary swatted him away, but took a peek herself.  
  
    "What is he doing?" John asked, frowning. Sam turned to the window before turning back to his father, his tone was disdainful.  
  
    "He's praying over him, dad," he snapped. "That's probably the nicest thing anyone can do."  
  
    "It's alright, Sam," Mary said gently, touching her son's arm before she turned to her husband. "John, it's sweet. Castiel is a sweet man."  
  
    John nodded, but turned from the room. Mary turned back to Sam, watching him glare after the older Winchester.  
  
    "Hey," she said gently, gaining his attention. "What do you say, if when Castiel comes back in here, we take Mary to the park and have a nice picnic there? Hm? I think we could all use some time outside of the house."  
  
    Sam forced a smile, nodding. They both turned to the door when Castiel came back in. Mary smiled at him.  
  
    "We're going on a picnic," she told him. "What do you think?"  
  
    He nodded, moving to Sam to take his daughter from his arms. Both Mary and Sam watched the way the Angel looked sadly down at the little girl. Sam sighed, dropping on to the sofa. Mary put a hand on Castiel's arm.  
  
    "He'll be back before you know it," she said gently. "And she will never know he was gone."  
  
    "I know," Cas admitted, turning to sit down besides Sam. "I'm fine. I assure you."  
  
    Sam watched the angel, but didn't mention how totally un-fine he looked. It was a little heartbreaking, but nice at the same time - Castiel truly loved his brother. He patted the baby's head, before giving the Angel a pat on the arm.  
  
    "Pic-nic," he said, giving the older man a smile. "You'll like it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean returned to his hotel room, exhausted and frustrated. If he thought the first job interview was a bust - asshole union issues with him not having being certified in metalwork - the second one took the cake. It had started out so well too. The lead mechanic was impressed with the Impala and Dean's knowledge of classic domestic cars. He even gave Dean a chance to prove his skills on a junk engine they had, and Dean was able to get it humming. It all went south however, when they sat down to discuss the particulars of the job. When he heard Dean was from out of state, he assured him that California was a great place to live - except for the wetbacks and faggots. Dean had a feeling his relationship with a man wouldn't go over to well in the garage - Angel or no.  
  
    So Dean paced the threadbare carpet of the musty motel room, feeling sick and desperate. He pulled out his wallet, counting the bills he had left. If he considered how much he'd need for gas and food, he had a few dollars left over for a beer. Grabbing his coat, he headed to the bar just down the street. He walked the block, not wanting to waste any fuel just to drive the short distance. He ordered a local lager that was the special of the night, the price low enough that he could get two for the price of his usual preferred brand. He settled on a stool, sighing heavily and rubbing his weary eyes.  
  
    "Dean?"  
  
    Dean looked up, surprised to hear someone speaking his name. He turned to the man standing behind him, surprise on his face.  
  
    "Chuck?” Dean exclaimed, “What are you doing here?"  
  
    The writer smiled, taking the stool beside the hunter.  
  
    "There's a writer's convention in town. I'm a guest speaker."  
  
    "Awesome," Dean remarked dryly, taking a drink. Chuck ordered a beer of his own, turning to Dean.  
  
    "Don't worry, I'm not speaking about 'Supernatural'..." he replied. "I'm not sure that I even get an accurate reading on what going on any more..." he looked up at Dean. "How've you been?"  
  
    Dean shrugged.  
  
    "Oh, you know..."  
  
    Chuck was quiet and the two drank their beers in silence. Chuck spoke with hesitance.  
  
    "I've been... seeing some pretty... interesting things..." Dean felt his skin grown warn, and he shifted. "Do you... do you really have a daughter now?"  
  
    Dean took out his phone, opening his photo album and finding one of the many pictures of Mary. He passed the device to the man at his side.  
  
    "She's almost four weeks old," he replied. "She's pretty damn perfect,"  
  
    "Beautiful," Chuck agreed. The picture was of Sam, smiling broadly and holding the tiny baby in his lap. Mary was dressed in a yellow jumper, a headband with a white daisy held back her curls. The lighting of the picture really accented her blue eyes. Chuck handed the phone back. "Who's the lucky one getting to share this joy with you?" he asked. Dean thumbed through the photos, handing it back to him. Chuck examined the picture. The baby, who appeared to be very well loved and cared for, was sleeping peacefully across the Angel Castiel's arm. It seemed to be taken at a candid moment, the Angel didn't appear to know he was being photographed, and he held the sleeping child with such care. Chuck gave a small smile. "So, the visions... they were not just a crazy, drunken acid ride."  
      
    Dean gave a snort of amusement.  
  
    "For either us man," he said, sighing.  
  
    "So how did the job hunt go?"  
  
    Dean rolled his eyes, downing another mouthful of the cheap beer.  
  
    "You don't know yet?" he asked dryly. Chuck shrugged.  
  
    "I’d like to hear your side."  
  
    Dean shook his head.  
  
    "Horribly." he admitted. "It seemed promising, but... I crashed and burned."  
  
    Chucked motioned for the bartender, ordering two glasses of scotch. Dean thanked him.  
  
    "It's noble what you're trying to do, Dean," Chuck told him. "But, don't you think it's a little extreme to try and change your whole life in four weeks?"  
  
    "Whether or not I want to, my life has changed," Dean told him. "I'm a dad now. You don't know how that feels yet, but I'm not going to be a dead-beat." Chuck nodded, looking ponderingly into the amber drink.  
  
    "You seem a little overwhelmed, Dean," he spoke quietly. "Even with all the good things that have happened for you... you seem... pained."  
  
    Dean sighed heavily, knocking back the tumbler of scotch.  
      
    "Pointless to pretend with you I guess," he said, giving the other man a grimace. "You know all, see all, right?"  
  
    "I don't always want to," Chuck replied, ordering the next round. "But yeah..."  
  
    They were silent again, drinking the next tumbler in silence. As they started in on the third, Chuck spoke.  
  
    "Look, I know I'm just a prophet," he began. "That... I can't change anything. But... I do understand. I'll listen, if you want to talk."  
  
    Dean frowned, looking at his companion a moment before looking back to his drink.  
  
    "I don't know man," he replied. "As you know, I'm a mess."  
  
    Chuck shook his head.  
  
    "I've been watching you and your brother a long time Dean," he said plainly. "And I can tell you in all honesty, I don't see a mess. I see a man who's had some tragic experiences, who does the best he can for those he loves. And for strangers, as a matter of fact."  
  
    "I don't know," Dean said. "I think the man upstairs would have other ideas."  
  
    Chuck considered the words before responding.  
  
    "I thought you didn't believe in a 'man upstairs'?" he said. Dean gave a smirk.  
  
    "Yeah, well... someone created Cas..." he gave a lame laugh. "It's a little hard to end everyday with someone praying for you and not get infected by their faith."  
  
    Chuck nodded.  
  
    "You restored his faith, I think." he said.  
  
    "Not going to do either of us a whole hell of a lot of good," Dean replied. "Can't see the big guy very happy with gay human-on-Angel action." he laughed bitterly. "Were not even married."  
  
    Chuck smiled, dropping his head and shaking it at Dean's sentiment.  
  
    "I don't know Dean," he said, his laugh dying away. "When I look at all the shit that humans and Angels and demons do... I sometimes have to wonder... it's not what we do that makes god love us. It's who we are. Like you said - I'm not a parent yet so I can't understand, but I couldn't imagine your little girl ever doing anything that makes you turn on her. Even if you don't approve of what it is." Dean looked to him, slightly stunned. Chuck stood. "I mean, I've seen how you are with Sam so... I have it on pretty good authority." he gave the hunter a pat on the shoulder. "I'll be in town if you want to talk. And good luck with the job search. Just remember - you have tons of skills Dean. You just need to think outside the box. Do what you always do. No risk, no reward." he moved away, but called back over his shoulder. "And your tabs on me."  
  
    Dean raised his glass to him, calling his thanks to Chuck's retreating back. How was he supposed to think outside the box? The truth was he only had a GED. No college education, no trade school. Just hunting, his wits, and a way with firearms and women. And now Angels, apparently. He sighed, finishing off the glass of scotch before rising and leaving the bar. His brain was abuzz as he walked back to the motel. Once inside, he kicked off his shoes and took out his phone, collapsing on to one of the beds. The phone only rang twice before it was answered and the voice on the other end calmed him.  
  
    "Hello Dean,"  
  
    "Hey Cas," he replied, leaning back against the headboard. "How're you and Mary doing?"  
  
    "We're well," the Angel spoke, and Dean could hear the baby cooing in the background. "We miss you."  
  
    Dean smiled, closing his eyes.  
  
    "Right back atcha," he said. "How's Sammy?"  
  
    "He's well. Should I get him?"  
      
    "No," Dean insisted, "That's alright. I'll call him later. I... I just want to talk with you."  
  
    "You're coming home tomorrow, right?" Castiel asked him, laying the baby down in her cradle so he could hold the phone.  
  
    "Yeah," Dean replied, trying not to sigh. "I'll hit the road as soon as the sun comes up."  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before he spoke again.  
  
    "How did your interview go today?"  
  
    Dean took the phone from his ear and pressed it to his chest so Castiel wouldn't hear his sigh. He raised it back to his ear.  
  
    "It went great," he replied. He didn't consider this a lie, since the interview itself did go pretty well. "I think they really liked me."  
  
    "That's great, Dean," Cas told him, and Dean felt guilt at the relief in the Angel's voice. "Then you won't have to leave again, right?"  
  
    "Well, I don't know if I got the job," Dean told him, "If I don't..."  
  
    "Don't say that," Castiel asked him, looking over to the cradle. Five days away from Dean was hard enough. He had grown accustomed to being with him.  
  
    "You miss me then, huh?" Dean remarked with a smile.  
  
    "I've already told you so," Cas told him. "Do you miss me?" Dean made a small sound of consideration as he thought.  
  
    "...the bed's a little lonely..." he said with a smile. Cas didn't respond right away.  
  
    "...is that all?" he asked. Dean' s smile faded slightly, and he subconsciously leaned in to the phone.  
  
    "You know I love you, Cas," he said. "I do miss you,"  
  
    "Thank you," Castiel spoke quietly. "I look forward to your return."  
  
    "Not long now," Dean told him. "kiss the baby for me. I'll call you tomorrow."  
  
    Dean hung up after they exchanged goodbye's and he lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. There was a large crack in the plaster above him and he frowned as he looked around the room. He needed a job - not just any job. He supposed, if the garage offered it to him, he could keep his personal life secret until he had enough money saved up that he could risk looking for another place to work. He wanted to get a place that he and Cas could start their life in with Mary. He was just ready to move on - from the nomadic existence, from hunting, from not having a life. But he didn't want to drag those he loved into a constant struggle to survive. He didn't want that for his daughter. He didn't want that for Cas. He wanted to have more kids someday, to have a real life.  
  
    There was no way, with his background, he was going to find a good enough job to give his family what he wanted to. He didn't get a chance to prepare for this.  
  
    Dean felt a hot surge of anger welling up in him. And it wasn't at Cas. It wasn't the Angel's fault that they had fallen for each other and that their first night of physical intimacy resulted in little Mary not even 5 full months later. It was at John Winchester, who never stopped to consider that his sons may want families of their own some day. And to have families, you needed to be able to support them. All Dean had was... nothing. He had no real skills. Just hunting. Just what came with hunting.  
  
    He was desperate. He had to think of something. Something big. Like Chuck said - no risk, no reward. And he would risk anything for those he loved.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    "Sam?"  
  
    Sam looked up from the internet article he was reading, a smile coming to his face at seeing the chubby baby in Castiel's arms. He looked up at the Angel.  
  
    "What's the matter, Cas?" he asked, his smile fading at the look of concern on the other man's face. Castiel approached the table and settled in the next chair.  
  
    "I still haven't heard from Dean," Cas told him. "He promised me he would call this morning when he started his drive. It's already eleven. I've left several messages."  
  
    Sam frowned, pulling out his cell phone and dialing his brother's number. After four rings, it connected.  
  
    " _This is Dean. You know what to do_."  
  
    Sam closed the phone, clicking on a new browser tab. He connected to the cell company website and logged in to track the GPS in his brother's phone.  
  
    "This says he's still in California." he looked to Cas, trying to give a supportive smile. "Maybe he got the job and is getting all the particulars worked out. That's why he hasn't called. He hasn't started his drive yet."  
  
    Castiel looked only slightly comforted by this news.  
  
    "Yes," he nodded, looking down at Mary. "That's plausible."  
  
    "Don't worry about Dean, Cas," Sam continued. "He's been on his own a long time. He can take care of himself."  
  
    Castiel nodded in agreement, rising from his chair.  
  
    "You're right Sam, thank you,"  
  
    Sam watched the Angel stand, putting the baby over his shoulder, and walking from the room. He looked back to the GPS map, looking at the tiny dot that represented his brother. It was like Dean to make a impromptu change of plans as it suited him - but he would think that he would at least answer his phone. Especially now that Mary was there.  
  
    He wasn't alone long when Mrs. Winchester entered the room. She smiled him, running a hand over his hair as she passed to pour herself a cup of coffee. She returned to the table to set in the seat Cas had vacated.  
  
    "What are you reading?" she asked. Sam gave an uncertain smile.  
  
    "Just checking the headlines for anything... odd." he admitted. It's been a while since I've done anything productive.  
  
    Mary raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "And you think hunting is productive?" she asked. Sam shrugged, grinning sheepishly.  
  
    "It's just sort of... habit..." he replied. Mary nodded, looking down into the cream still swirling in with the dark coffee. She brushed her hair off of her shoulder.  
  
    "Didn't you ever want to go to college?" she asked. Sam leaned back in his chair, considering whether or not to tell the truth.  
  
    "I did, for a while." he told her, running his hand nervously through his hair. "I went to Stanford... pre-law."  
  
    Mary's face lit up and she leaned closer.  
  
    "Sam, that's wonderful! Why did you stop?"  
  
    Sam looked uneasily out of the room toward the living room. It was empty.  
  
    "Dad disappeared and Dean needed help looking for him." he began. "And the demons... they... well, let's just say they made it so I couldn't go back. So I just helped Dean look for dad."  
  
    Mary shook her head, bringing a hand to her throat.  
  
    "How did you learn it? How did you manage if your father was gone?"  
  
    Sam swallowed, licking his lips as he watched his mother's expectant face.  
  
    "It's all we knew mom," he told her. "It's how we were raised."  
  
    He didn't mean to do it, but sitting there at the table with his mother, it just sort of fell out of him. When the topic became too emotional, Mary took his hand and led him out into the yard. They sat quietly on the back step while Sam told her everything Dean would have been horrified that he uttered. Mary rubbed his back consolingly.  
  
    "I'm sorry mom," he said, sadly. "I'm not trying to cause trouble."  
  
    "Of course not, darling," she told him, running a hand over his face. "You aren't causing trouble. It's okay."  
  
    Sam exhaled sharply, nodding his head. His mother's words didn't assuage the guilt. He was saved from further confession when his cell phone rang. He looked at the screen, not recognizing the number, but he recognized the area code. He answered quickly.  
  
    "Dean?"  
  
    "Hey, Sammy," came his brother's voice. Sam spoke before he could continue.  
  
    "Dean, where are you? Cas has called you, like, ten times this morning."  
  
    "Uh, yeah," Dean began, wiping the fingerprinting ink off his fingers with a paper towel. He looked around before speaking. "Sorry about that. My cell is dead."  
  
    "Really Dean?" Sam asked, "You didn't think to charge your phone when you have a baby at home?" he sighed. "What's taking you so long in Cali, anyway?"  
  
    "I, uh, got another lead on a job here so... it might take me a little longer than I thought. You got enough money for a few extra days?"  
  
    "Of course we do," Sam assured him. "I told you we'd be fine. Just call Cas-"  
  
    "I can't Sammy," Dean told him, watching the people around him warily. "I can't find my charger. I don't have the cash for another one. Look, I have to make this quick. Just... just tell Cas I'll be back in a few more days and I'll call as soon as I can borrow another phone."  
  
    "Dean-"  
  
    "He ain't gonna be happy about it, I get that," Dean butt in. "But you remind him I'm doing this for our family. And..." as he saw the man approaching, Dean spoke quickly. "You just tell him I love him, alright? And I'll be back as soon as I can. You take care of my family, Sammy, please? And take care of you."  
  
    "Dean!" Sam spoke quickly, before the phone went dead. He looked at his cell in disbelief, before raising his eyes to his mother. She looked concerned.  
  
    Dean hung up the phone he was on and turned to the man approaching.  
  
    "Done with your one call, Winchester?" he asked, unlocking the handcuff that kept Dean by the phone.  
  
    "Yep. No luck," Dean replied with a smile.  
  
    "That's too bad," he replied, turning Dean toward the back of the station and guiding him along. "Because we've got the big wigs coming down to talk to you, Winchester. You are the most wanted of wanted men,"  
  
    "Well," Dean said with a smile. "That's what the ladies tell me. Awful kind of you to say."  
  
    The officer pushed him into an interview room, and Dean stumbled forward, catching himself and gracefully setting back into the chair.  
  
    "Well, too bad you couldn't get your call in. Maybe we can find you a public defender..." the cop smiled. "Not sure how good'a  one you'll get on such short notice."  
  
    Dean kept the smile on his face until the door was closed. He wasn't sure what he had been thinking to get himself in to this mess. He was just hoping he could get himself out.  
  
    No risk... no reward.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
    When the phone rang, Castiel reacted as though it were a gunshot, turning it on.  
  
    "Dean?"  
  
    "Hey buddy," Dean spoke, trying to calm the Angel. "How's Mary?"  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before replying.  
  
    "She's fine." he replied evenly. "We're all fine."  
  
    "Good," Dean replied. "Look, Cas, I'm sorry It's been longer than I originally thought."  
  
    "It's almost been two weeks, Dean," Castiel informed him. "... are you ever coming back?"  
  
    "Yes," Dean insisted, feeling his stomach clench uncomfortably as he scratched the area of his wrist being rubbed by the metal cuff. "I know this isn't what we want, but I did tell you that this might happen."  
  
    Castiel was quiet for a long stretch of time. Dean spoke his name.  
  
    "I'm here," Cas replied. "I just... Dean, just tell me where you are. Let me come to you,"  
  
    "Cas, you're over reacting," Dean gave a laugh, trying to sound convincing. "I'm going to be back home-"  
  
    "Before I know it," Castiel finished for him. "That's what you said every time you've called... which isn’t often..."  
  
    Dean hung his head, bringing a hand to his eyes.  
  
    "Cas," he sighed, "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. You know I'm doing this for you. For Mary."  
  
    "I know," Castiel replied softly. "I just... I'm just worried about you,"  
  
    Dean could hear another voice behind the Angel's.  
  
    "Is that Dean?" Sam exclaimed. "Let me talk to him,"  
  
    There were muffled voices, as though Cas was covering the phone while he and Sam spoke. Dean narrowed his eyes.  
  
    "Cas?" he said. But it wasn't Castiel who responded.  
  
    "Dean, what they hell is going on?" his brother sounded more than a little perturbed. "What is happening? Did you get a job or didn't you? You know what, who cares. Just get back here."  
  
    "I did find a job, Sammy," Dean told him, and the tone in his voice made Sam pause. Sam looked over at Castiel, before he walked to the other side of the room.  
  
    "Are you on a hunt?" he hissed into the phone. Dean sighed, shifting his weight. "Dean?"  
  
    "Yeah, I am," Dean admitted, "It's nothing I can't handle. Just hold down the fort and I'll be home soon."  
  
    "Dean," Sam insisted, turning his back on Castiel who watched him suspiciously. "Tell me where you are. I can help. Get you home faster. Come on."  
  
    "I gotta do this alone," Dean told him, his voice heavy with emotion. "You just..."  
  
    "Tell Cas you love him," Sam finished blandly. "You need to tell him that in person Dean,"  
  
    "I know," Dean agreed. "Soon. I promise."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    It was late on the 16th day of Dean's absence. Castiel sat in the living room, holding Mary on his lap and feeling quite superfluous. He had given up on trying to contact Dean on the phone; so he simply left one voice mail daily, telling Dean how the baby was doing, how his mom and brother was doing, and that he was loved. Sam was the last one to hear Dean's voice.  
  
    Cas looked down at the baby, her face sweet and angelic in sleep. She resembled Dean more than himself, he thought, more like a Winchester. He knew he had to be patient, that Dean was out there working hard to provide for them, and that he would be home eventually. But it was hard. He didn't realize how difficult it was to be away from someone when you knew that you could be together.  
  
    "How're you doing?"  
  
    Castiel looked up at Sam as the younger Winchester came in to settle next to him on the sofa. Cas gave a weak smile, shrugging slightly.  
  
    "I'm well," he replied, watching Sam reach over to stroke the baby's chubby cheek. "I wish there were something I could do. You have all been so kind-"  
  
    "Cas," Sam interrupted, shaking his head. "We're family. Family takes care of each other. You've done tons for us. Let us take care of you for a couple weeks while you focus on the baby."  
  
    "That's kind of you," the Angel replied. "But, I think we both realize how truly worthless I've been."  
  
    "Cas," Sam sighed, rubbing a hand over his neck. He looked over at the Angel, concerned by the strained, tired look on his usually stoic face. He reached over, laying a hand on the older man's shoulder. "Hey, Dean's going to be back... You should... let me tell him what's going on."  
  
    "Sam," Castiel replied, giving him a wary look. "Dean is under a lot of pressure and he is trying to find work so that we can be together. The fact that we are separated right now will be inconsequential. I have faith in him."  
  
    Sam frowned, but didn't respond. Both men looked up when John entered the room.  
  
    "We heard from Dean today?" he asked, crossing the room on his way to the kitchen. He got a beer and returned, looking down at the Angel and his son. "Or is he still MIA?"  
  
    "It's fine, dad," Sam answered, tightly. "We've heard from him."  
  
    John took a long drink from his beer before continuing. "He's probably found a hunt... or a women. Two things your brother can't resist."  
  
    Castiel looked up, his brow furrowing in irritation. Sam was saved from retorting when a soft voice spoke.  
  
    "John," Mary spoke to her husband from where she stood at the base of the stairs. "Could I speak to you, please?"  
  
    Sam and Cas watched the elder Winchester as he crossed back to the opposite end of the room. Castiel cleared his throat, moving Mary from his lap to lay over his shoulder. Sam was quiet a moment.  
  
    "Hey Cas," he said gently, turning in his seat and pulling a knee up onto the sofa. "I owe you an apology."  
  
    "You needn't apologize for your father's statement," he told him. "I trust in your brother's fidelity. He will not betray me while he proclaims we are family." he cleared his throat again, shifting self consciously. "He will be honest with me if his affections decline."  
  
    "That's just it Cas," Sam insisted. "I owe you an apology because, when Dean first told me you two were...together, I wondered what the hell you two were thinking. I doubted that this was anything other than something... physical." Castiel turned to him. Sam continued. "But, I was wrong. My brother loves you. Like crazy loves you. He's been with a lot of women, but I have never, ever seen him look at or talk to anyone the way he does with you." he laughed out loud, shaking his head. "When I think about your interactions before all this, it's so stupid that I didn't see it before. Just the way he looks at you,"  he sighed, wistfully. "I had someone I looked at like that once. We were going to get married - well, I was going to ask her to marry me..."  
  
    Castiel looked sad for Sam's sake.  
  
    "I'm sorry. I wish that things had been different."  
  
    "Yeah,..."  
  
    Sam reached out and touched the baby, smiling at the way she snuggled closer to Cas's neck.  
  
    "Dean loves you Cas," he said quietly. "I know my brother."  
  
    "I don't doubt him," Castiel told the younger man. "I don't worry that he won't come back. I worry that he feels he can't."  
  
    Sam sighed. Yeah, that sounded like Dean. Once he put his mind to something, he was a man possessed. And if he had taken a job hunting... it just didn't make sense. What was Dean thinking? He stopped hunting because it didn't help his family, it wasn't the life he wanted for them. But, he supposed, old habits die hard and the hunting life was not easy to disentangle yourself from.  
  
    He looked back up at Castiel, who had his eyes closed and his head resting against his baby daughters. Maybe he was living vicariously through Cas and Dean now. They were going to have the life he had always wanted. He couldn't think about that though. Dean left his family in his care. And he was going to take care of them - no matter how long it took.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean joined the family downstairs where they sat around the table. He took Mary from Sam, holding the baby in his arms as he ate. Sam leaned on the table, fixing him with an interested stare.  
> "So what gives?" he demanded. "Tell us about the trip."  
> "Yes Dean," his mother replied, refilling Castiel's coffee. "Did you find a job?" Dean sat down his fork and picked up his napkin, wiping his mouth as he swallowed the bite of frittata he was chewing.  
> "Yep," he replied proudly. "But it took some work,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing, but I'm going to hope those reading a story about fictional men having a supernatural baby can forgive that I don't know some details about other things lol. This story was made just to give the warm fuzzies, not to be technically accurate. I hope you all enjoy!

    It was the middle of the night when Dean trudged into the motel room. He looked to the bed, even its thin, questionably stained blanket looked inviting as tired as he was. Instead, he showered and dressed, packing all his things into the car. He would call Sam and Cas once he started back - he really wasn't looking forward to getting his ass reamed for staring back so many days late. Especially since he wasn't able to call in the last three.  
  
    He sent a few emails before packing up his laptop, settling his bill, and heading back to the car. His cell phone had actually died while it was being kept from him, so he plugged it in to the lighter and started for the highway. Once the smallest spark of life returned, he hit the power button, called up his voice mail and put it on speaker.  
  
    " _Hello Dean... this is Castiel..._ " Dean smiled upon hearing the voice, but also felt a pang of guilt. The Angel sounded weary. He certainly couldn't be missing his that much, could he? " _I hope you are well. Mary is doing fine. She's almost nine pounds and her eyes are still very blue. A book Sam read to me said her eyes might change color... but they haven't... You mother is also doing well... she's very helpful with the baby, as is Sam... Bobby likes to make faces at her when he thinks we're not looking..._ " Dean smiled, but it faded quickly as the message came to an end. " _Take care of yourself, Dean... we miss you._ "  
  
    Dean sighed, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand as the next message started.  
  
    " _Dean, it's Sam. I need you to call me. Just call, okay?_ "  
  
    Dean frowned. His brother sounded a little agitated - of course, that was how he sounded the last several times they spoke. The next message was equally brief.  
  
    " _Call me, bitch. I need to talk to you._ "  
  
    Dean's foot pressed unconsciously harder on the gas pedal and his hands gripped hard to the wheel. The next message made his heart still in his chest before it began to hammer.  
  
    " _Dean, it's Sam. You have got to come home! Things are crazy here! Mom and Dad've been fighting non-stop. Bobby kicked dad out - told him to go cool off._ " he paused, and Dean could hear the younger man swallow. " _And then Raphael came. He knows about Mary, Dean._ " Dean floored the accelerator, suddenly finding that he was not tired at all. " _He came for her. Cas wouldn't have any of it. He took Cas back to heaven and.. and when he came back... Dean, please come home. Cas is not doing so well. We need you here. Please. Please._ "  
  
    The impala flew down the highway, rocketing past other cars. Dean took his eyes of the road for a fraction of a second to make a call, his heart nearly bursting when it connected.  
  
    "Hello?"  
  
    "Cas?!" Dean exclaimed, holding the phone close to his ear. "Cas, buddy, are you okay? What's going on?"  
  
    There was a slight pause on the other end before the Angel spoke.  
  
    "Dean, it's five o'clock in the morning... what are you doing?"  
  
    Dean gave a huff of laughter.  
  
    "What am I doing?!" he asked, "I'm coming home. I'm on the road right now. I'm not yet an hour in, but I'm coming home."  
  
    "It's dangerous to talk and drive," Castiel admonished him. "Call me back when you've stopped for the day."  
  
    "No, wait Cas!" Dean said quickly before the Angel could hang up. "I got a message from Sam. He said something bad happened."  
  
    There was another measured pause on the other end. Castiel spoke hesitantly.  
  
    "Your father left," he spoke, as if considering if that were truly bad. "He and your mother had an argument. He's staying in town. Everyone else is well. Mary is well."  
  
    "And you, Cas?" Dean asked, licking his dry lips. "How are you?"  
  
    He could hear Castiel's soft exhale before he spoke.  
  
    "You're coming home, Dean," he said. "I couldn't be better." Dean smiled, his chest aching. He wanted to pull the Angel into his arms, to kiss him, to hold him... he only had 17 hours left to go. "Call me when you are someplace safe. Good bye, Dean,"  
  
    Dean was stunned when the phone went dead. He drove another three hours before calling again, getting Sam this time. His brother was equally evasive.  
  
    "Oh, the message..." Sam spoke. "I was... being a little dramatic... that was days ago."  
  
    "That was two days ago Sammy," Dean told him. "What the hell happened? You said Raphael came for my family?"  
  
    There was a pause, and Sam replied.  
  
    "Cas say's I can't talk to you if you're driving so... I should go."  
  
    "Damnit!"  
  
    Five more hours in and it was Mary Winchester who answered the phone.  
  
    "Dean, everyone is fine," she assured him. "Just concentrate on getting home safely. I'm going to bake you a nice apple streusel. Would you like that?"  
  
    Dean scoffed, exasperated, but answered her with:  
  
    "Yeah, I'd like that."  
  
    "Good," Mary replied with a smile. "Now, be safe. What time are you planning to stop for the night?"  
  
    "Not sure," he grumbled. "I'll call."  
  
    He didn't call. He drove through the day and into the evening. Fatigue and worry were burning on his eyes when he drove into Sioux Falls. When the landmarks started to become more and more familiar, an antsy, excited energy began to course through him and he heaved a sigh of relief as he turned into the gravel drive of Singer Salvage.  
  
    Sam had the baby resting peacefully on his shoulder when he heard the familiar rumble of the Impala and the crunching of tires of rock. He stood from the sofa, peeling back the curtain to look outside. The moon was reflecting off the shiny body of the car and he could see his brother emerge, pulling his duffel bag from the trunk. Sam unlocked the door and opened it to greet him.  
  
    "What are you doing here?" Sam asked, surprised. "You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow?"  
  
    "Funny," Dean laughed bitterly, letting his brother pull him into a one-armed hug. "I thought all the belly-aching was because I was supposed to be home last week."  
  
    "Not cool, man," Sam advised, letting Dean take the baby from his arms.  
  
    "Hey beautiful," Dean breathed, cradling the little girl in the crook of his arm. Mary yawned widely, blinking up at him. "god, she's gotten so big... She looks a lot like Cas," Sam smiled, taking the duffel bag from his brother and locking the door.  
  
    "Where've you been, Dean?" Sam asked him, looking concerned at his brother. "I mean... you've been gone a long time. What were you hunting?... Why're you in a suit?"  
  
    Dean looked down at his dress shirt, slack and tie. He shrugged.  
      
    "It's a long story that's pretty cool but not the most important thing right now. Where's Cas?"  
  
    "He's upstairs," Sam replied, setting back onto the sofa. "He uh... isn't feeling well."  
  
    Dean grimaced, looking down at the younger man.  
  
    "What?" he settled onto the couch at Sam's side. "Be straight with me, Sammy. What went down?"  
  
    Sam sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
    "He asked me not to say anything. He didn't want to worry you while you were looking for work."  
  
    "Well I'm home now," Dean insisted, finding it hard to concentrate on both Sam and Mary, but his heart was divided. "So pony up. What did the teenage mutant ninja dick want?"  
  
    Sam rubbed his hands through his hair a couple times, leaning back against the cushion.  
  
    "He showed up out of the blue a little over a week ago," he replied, ignoring the gaping look of shock on Dean's face. "He told Cas he was a sinner and that Mary was an abomination. Cas didn't take that too well, but he told Raphael to leave him in peace. That he wouldn't fight. Raphael said that Cas had to answer to him, to heaven, and he took Cas away with him. He came back a couple hours later, looking a little off..." he shook his head. Dean felt a sick feeling welling up inside him. "I forced him to tell me what happened. He said Raphael offered him immunity if he would stay in heaven and do what he was told. That he'd leave you and Mary be. Cas said he told him to stick it, that he wanted to live with his family. Raphael said that he couldn't have his cake and eat it too, pretty much. Said he couldn't believe that Cas was willing to sacrifice everything for a human. Said that Cas could either stay in heaven or rot on earth."  
  
    "What's that mean?" Dean broke in, unable to contain himself. Sam sighed.  
  
    "He said it was either living as an Angel or living as a man. That it was his grace, or Mary's." He looked over at Dean. "Cas chose you two... Raphael took his grace and threw him back to earth. He was pretty shaken up, but did okay the first couple days. Until he got sick, then... that was pretty scary. He's doing better though, but still not himself..."  
  
    Dean felt his skin heat up and sweat began to rise on his neck. He was angry and scared, but more pissed fit to gank an archangel. Sam could see the tendon's standing out sharply on his brother's neck.  
  
    "Look, Dean," he said calmly. "Just leave Mary with me. She's been sleeping in my room until Cas is back on his feet. I'll watch her. You just get some sleep. After all, you just drive 18 hours straight. It's late..." he reached over, gently taking the little girl back into his arms. "I got this."  
  
    "Thanks, Sammy," Dean said, rising to his feet. He brushed his hand gently over the baby's honey-blonde curls before turning for the staircase and taking them quickly to the next floor. His mouth went dry as he reached his bedroom door. He'd missed Cas so much, it was a physical ache, but this isn't how he imagined his homecoming.  
  
    Gently, he turned the knob and pushed open the door, slipping quietly inside. The room was dark, the only light from the nightlight in the bathroom. Castiel was laying in bed, on his side and facing the far wall. Dean could see the slow rise and fall of his breath. He was sleeping.  
  
    Carefully, Dean pulled off his shoes and socks, trying his best to keep the clank of his belt buckle from disturbing the Angel as he removed his belt and pants, laying them over a nearby chair. He removed his tie and shirt next, leaving them with the pants before he crossed to the bed. He gently lifted the sheet, sliding into the bed behind Castiel. His body reacted almost immediately to being in such close contact with the Angel, and he slipped and arm around him and hugged him.  
  
    "Hey Cas, baby," he murmured, laying a soft kiss on his ear. "How're you feeling? I'm home, so don't worry. I'm so sorry I didn't come back sooner. Everything is going to be better now."  
  
    Castiel stirred, trying to stretch his weary muscles in the small confine of Dean's arms. His voice was muffled when he spoke.  
  
    "I'm not dying Dean," he said, dryly. "I have a headache,"  
  
    Dean propped himself up on his arm to look down at the Angel. Cas turn to look at him, and Dean could see the soft light reflected in his blue eyes. Castiel spoke again.  
  
    "I'm sorry Dean," he said quietly. "I... Sam probably told you,"  
  
    "That's not your fault," Dean insisted. "Let's not talk about it now. I've missed you. I just want to enjoy this moment. I'm sorry I didn't come back earlier." Dean was stunned by Castiel's next words.  
  
    "Not me," he replied. "You missed the two days of vomiting - that was pleasant. And you never told me how much mucus humans have to deal with on a daily basis. Frankly, I'm _disgusted_ by myself. I don't know how you do it."  
  
    Dean smiled, even thought he wasn't amused. He was livid at Raphael.  
  
    "Once you come to terms with being gross, it's all downhill from there," Dean assured him. "You... you have a fever though," he commented, laying a hand on Castiel's forehead. "You're burning up."  
  
    "No," Cas assured him. "This is normal human body temperature. You feel cool now."  
  
    "Huh," the younger man replied. He'd almost forgotten what human skin felt like. Castiel was watching him, both of their eyes having adjusted to the dim light.  
  
    "I've truly missed you, Dean," Cas told him, turning onto his back to look up at the hunter. "I can't believe you're finally home."  
  
    Dean smiled down at him, running a hand over his forehead to push back the chestnut colored waves of hair.  
  
    "For good," he said happily. "I got a job - a great job. In a couple weeks, we'll be able to get our own place. But, we can talk about that tomorrow."  
  
    "I'm glad," Castiel told him, his hand absently stroking Dean's bare arm. He spoke again, hesitantly. "You... you don't want to be intimate, do you? Because, at this point, I'd almost rather set myself on fire than exercise that much physical exertion."  
  
    Dean chuckled, pulling the Angel in tightly against him, tucking his head down against Castiel's warm throat.  
  
    "Good night, baby," he murmured, some of the anger sweeping away to be replaced by a happy, contented feeling. The last thing he heard was Castiel's deep tone.  
  
    "Good night, Dean..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
      
    It was almost seven a.m. when Sam decided he needed to brave waking Dean and Cas to retrieve diapers from the bedroom. While he thought he had some in the diaper bag in the living room, sadly, he was wrong. He waited outside of the door for a moment, listening intently to the silence within. Dean had to have been pretty exhausted driving 18 hours straight, and Cas was still not feeling so well when he went to lie down, so the odds that they were still sleeping was actually quite high. Of course, Dean was never much of a sleeper... but lately, since he'd been seeing Cas, he'd been sleeping rather well. The last thing Sam wanted to do was to wake Dean when he was finally get some much needed rest.  
  
    The real last thing he wanted was to walk in on Dean not sleeping.  
  
    Taking a deep breath, Sam gripped the door handle, turned it gently and silently pushed it open. The room was still and quiet. Sam paused in the doorway, looking to the bed where his brother and the Angel lay. Cas was sleeping on his side, facing the wall, and Dean was pressed up against him, his arms wrapped around the older man and his head rested on Castiel's. It was odd, as much as he knew that Cas and his brother were together, he'd even seen them kissing, but it was just odd to see them in bed together, practically occupying the same space. Sam grimaced, looking away and padding across the room to where the baby's things were. As he picked up the pack of diapers and turned, he noticed Dean was watching him.  
  
    "Uh.. sorry to wake you," Sam whispered, clutching the package to his chest. "I was just... just getting... these..."  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow, giving a bleary eyed look to the diapers before giving a nod and tucking his head back down against the back of Castiel's neck. Cas stirred from the movement and Sam shot for the door, pulling it shut behind himself.  
  
    Castiel groaned, stretching out and forcing Dean to pull away. Dean sighed, leaning up on his elbow and watched as Cas rolled onto his back, looking up at him.  
  
    "Good morning," Dean grinned, running a hand over Castiel's forehead. "How're you feeling?"  
  
    "Emotionally or physically?" Cas asked, rubbing his eyes with his hand. He squinted up at Dean. "I'm happy you're home. Really. But physically.... I have to urinate and I want to shower."  
  
    Dean chuckled, letting the Angel pull himself from bed, his hand tracing the contour of Castiel's back until he was too far away to touch. He curled into the spot Cas vacated, pulling the other man's pillow under his head and closing his eyes. After fifteen minutes, Castiel returned to the room, soaking wet and running a towel over himself. Dean leaned back up, watching the Angel appraisingly. Once sufficiently dry, Cas pulled on a pair of boxer briefs. Dean's eyebrows raised at the way the fabric accentuated the Angel's perfect backside.  
  
    "Well, that's nice," Dean commented, rolling out of bed and moving into the bathroom. Castiel looked down at himself, his brow furrowing.  
  
    "Your mother bought them," he commented. Dean grimaced, pulling the toothbrush from his mouth to remark:  
  
    "That's... weird,"  
  
    Cas shrugged, putting on a pair of blue jeans.  
  
    "I'm not an Angel anymore, Dean," he told the younger man, pulling a T-shirt over his head. "I have no grace."  
  
    "So my mom's gotta buy you underwear?" Dean asked, spitting into the sink. "Where's that written?"  
  
    Castiel shrugged, leaning against the frame of the door.  
  
    "Your family has taken care of me now that I can't take care of myself," he replied, folding his arms over his chest as he watched Dean rinse his toothbrush and run a towel over his mouth. "Things are different now. I'm different now."  
  
    Dean turned to him, bringing his hands up to the Angel's face. He leaned down, kissing Cas slowly and deeply until the older man uncrossed his arms and held on to the hunter. Dean pulled away, licking his lips.  
  
    "You're the same to me," he replied, his hands running down Castiel's arms and slipping around his waist. "Just... casual Castiel..." he grinned, tilting his head to the side and he pulled Cas closer. The Angel took a deep breath. "I still want to get into your pants."  
  
    "Dean," Castiel breathed as the younger man leaned down and began kissing his throat. "Dean... I missed you... so much,"  
  
    "I missed you too, buddy," Dean murmured, holding him close. "I'm sorry I was gone so long. It's going to be better now, I promise."  
  
    "It already is," Castiel assured him, pulling away. "I mean, aside from losing my grace,"  
  
    Dean caught his hand, keeping him from moving too far.  
  
    "Grace or not, I love you," he told him seriously. "We'll find a way to fix this, if that's what you want. But the way I see it, I have you. That's all that matters."  
  
    Castiel looked both pained and comforted by those words. He smiled weakly.  
  
    "I'm even less usefully than before," he spoke quietly. Dean shook his head.  
  
    "I need you," he told him, stepping closer and ridding them of the distance Cas had created moments ago. "When I was away, all I could think about was getting back to you. Getting to see you again. I don't need you to do anything other than be here for me."  
  
    "I'm here," Cas told him. Dean pulled him in for another kiss, desperately gripping the older man against him. Castiel submitted, his hands delving into Dean's hair. He was breathless when the younger man pulled away.  
  
    "What are the odds we'd be missed for another twenty minutes?" Dean asked, pulling Castiel's hips close to his. Castiel sighed.  
  
    "I'm going to need more than twenty minutes," he answered, pulling away from Dean. "I haven't see you in almost three weeks. It's best we not start this now." Dean sighed as well, turning resignedly toward the shower. "I'll see you downstairs," Castiel told him, as Dean turned on mostly cool water.  
  
    After showering and dressing, Dean joined the family downstairs where they sat around the table. He took Mary from Sam, holding the baby in his arms as he ate. Sam leaned on the table, fixing him with an interested stare.  
  
    "So what gives?" he demanded. "Tell us about the trip."  
  
    "Yes Dean," his mother replied, refilling Castiel's coffee. "Did you find a job?" Dean sat down his fork and picked up his napkin, wiping his mouth as he swallowed the bite of frittata he was chewing.  
  
    "Yep," he replied proudly. "But it took some work,"  
  
    "I'll say," Bobby commented. "Since you were gone three damn weeks. What kind of interviewing does a mechanic have to do these days?" the group looked at Dean expectantly.  
  
    "Those jobs were a bust." Dean told them. "I was ready to come home Wednesday night. But, I went out for a drink and I ran in to Chuck Shurely."  
  
    "Really?" Sam asked, laughing. "Did _he_ offer you a job?"  
  
    "You gonna let me finish?" Dean asked. He paused in his story to look down at the happy baby in his arms. He smiled, leaning down to kiss her face. "No, he didn't," he continued. "He told me not to give up and to do what I know. So, I did some research. Found a news article out of Palo Alto where two kids went missing, but turned up a couple days later."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed as he listened, forgetting his food in favor of watching Dean.  
  
    "What was the angle?" Bobby asked. "What made it odd?"  
  
    Dean smirked, pointing toward the older hunter with his fork.  
  
    "Less than a week after the kids came back, the mother was hospitalized - psycho ward."  
  
    Sam nodded.  
  
    "So you took a hunting job?" he asked. Dean shook his head.  
  
    "Not quite." he replied. "I turned myself in to the FBI."  
  
    There was a commotion of talk as everyone tried to speak at once, stunned by Dean's admission. Dean held up a hand.  
  
    "Hey, hey," he warned, bringing the hand down to gently cover the baby's exposed ear, "Simmer."  
  
    "Are you crazy?" Sam asked, his expression one of extreme disbelief. "You turned yourself in?"  
  
    Dean tried not to look at the look of confliction on Castiel's face.  
  
    "I had a plan," Dean explained. Sam didn't look comforted. "You see, the article mentioned that the kids father was Norman Dreskal - the western regional director for the FBI." he told them. "I made a snarky ass comment that they couldn't make any charges on me stick because their own director couldn't find two lost kids, 'cause he couldn't even be sure he found the right kids... I knew that it would get to him. And I was right,"  
  
    Sam shook his head.  
  
    "So, you pretty much egged on the man who could put your ass in prison?" he asked. "How did you get out of it?"  
  
    Dean smiled, looking around the table.  
  
    "I didn't at first," he replied. "I was in lock-up for six days." Cas closed his eyes and shook his head. Dean continued quickly. "On the seventh day Dreskal paid me a visit." he noticed his mother, Sam, and Bobby leaned in to hear the rest. Castiel had his eyes open, but he did not look happy. Dean cleared his throat. "I told him I knew what took his kids. What sent his wife to the bin. He threatened me with all the usual stuff - waterboarding and whatnot. I told him that monsters were real and I was the only one who could fix why he couldn't bring himself to tuck his little tykes in at night."  
  
    "Changelings," Bobby spoke, awed. Dean nodded. Sam swore softly under his breath, leaning back in his chair.  
  
    "Did he believe you?" he asked. Dean laughed.  
  
    "No. Not at first. He left me to stew for another day, but came back to ask me more. I told him that I could help. That I came to help. Finally, he let me." He turned to Cas then, hoping to see something other than irritation in those blue eyes. Cas's expression was unreadable. Dean continued. "It took me two days to find the kids - alive, thank goodness. Dreskal cleared out the nest with me. There was a least six kids in there, but all safe. The mother was pretty nasty, one of the worst I've ever encountered. Dreskal almost bought it, but I was able to keep him from getting snuffed."  
  
    "What did he do when he knew you were telling the truth?" Sam asked. Dean shrugged.  
  
    "Threw me back in the clink," he said. Mary gave an exasperated huff.  
  
    "That's gratitude," she said with a frown. Bobby was the next to speak.  
  
    "You obviously got out though," he observed. "What changed his mind."  
  
    Dean smiled, adjusting the baby up on his shoulder.  
  
    "He came to visit me the next day - told me his wife had been released from the hospital, that she was grateful to get her kids back. He had this box full of files. He asked me to have a look." he turned to Sam. "Cold cases, some obviously our line of work: vamps, tulpas, wendigo. I mean, there was a few others that had the human brand of crazy on them, but I told him what I could of the others. He was a little freaked out - stunned, I guess. But he knew by then I wasn't just full of shit. He asked me where I learned it, told him I'd been doing it all my life. That it took years of getting it right. So... " he shrugged. "He let me go. Told me to keep up the good fight. Thanked my for helping his family."  
  
    "That's sweet, Dean," Mary smiled. "But... you can't charge people for what we do. It's just... not right,"  
  
    Dean shook his head, a mortified expression on his face.  
  
    "Gah, no," he said, rising from his chair and moving into the living room. He rummaged in his duffel bag before coming back. "I got a much better deal than charging people to save their skins from the unknown." He handed a standard, white business envelope across to his mother. She opened it, pulling out a thick white paper from inside and unfolded it. Sam scooted in closer to read over her shoulder, but she read the contents allowed.  
  
    "Dear Mr. Winchester," she began. Dean watched Castiel as the Angel focused on the women reading. "We have completed adjudication of your recent application. The processing of the investigation into your background is complete and returned a positive response. In light of the favorable determination on your criminal and financial background, we are please to extend the offer of Special Agent at our Palo Alto Field Office. Please respond via email of your acceptance or declination of this offer by close of business on August 31st. Acceptance of this offer will result in the granting of an Entry on Duty (EOD) date of no later than September 30th. We look forward to a positive response. Welcome to the Federal Bureau of Investigation."  
  
    The entire table look up shocked at the elder Winchester brother. Dean was smiling broadly.  
  
    "Chuck told me to do what I always do," he said happily, looking from his mom to Sam. "We've been playing agents for years so I thought  - what the hell?!"  
  
    "You got a job with the FBI!?!" Sam exclaimed, his eyes wide. "What the hell?! Seriously!?"  
  
    Dean laughed, unable to contain his good spirits.  
  
    "Yep," he said proudly. Sam shook his head.  
  
    "H... How? You're a wanted man!"  
  
    Dean continued to grin as he spoke.  
  
    "Dreskal came to my hotel the same day he let me loose, said that I could do a lot of good for the United States and blah blah blah. I told him to put his money where his mouth is - that I had a family of my own to support. He gave me a thick manual and told me if I could pass an entrance test on FBI procedure, he'd arrange some things. I studied my ass off - most of it we'd already learned off the internet. Took the test," he grinned at Castiel. "Aced it. Next thing I know, I can't find one record on me in the national crime index and my fingerprints are unidentified." he shook his head. "So now, not only will I make enough money to take care of my family, but." he looked to Sam. "He said you had a job too, if you wanted it."  
  
    Sam laughed.  
  
    "Hunters? For the FBI?" he asked, amused. "Like real life X-files?"  
  
    "Real life X-files," Dean replied. Bobby shook his head.  
  
    "That's an awful lot of nice," he said. "You sure he isn't just trying to lure you and Sam in,"  
  
    "Could be," Dean replied. "But his kids are six and four, Bobby. You should have seen the look on his face... and when we found 'em, and he helped me fight that mother... I don't know..." he looked down at his own beautiful daughter. "Ain’t nothing a man wouldn't do to save his own."      
  
    "Special Agent Winchester," Mary said happily. "Dean, this is wonderful. We should celebrate!"  
  
    Dean turned to Castiel, who was still looking oddly pensive. He tried to catch his eye.  
  
    "What do you say, Cas?" he asked. "I got a job. We'll have to move to California, but you'll like it there. It's warm and near the beach."  
  
    Castiel looked up at him.  
  
    "Why couldn't you tell me you were doing this?" he asked. "Why... why keep it a secret? We were so worried about you."  
  
    Dean sighed heavily.  
  
    "Better worried than disappointed in me if it didn't pan out. Look, Cas, I'm sorry..."  
  
    "Your safety is worth more than money," Castiel told him. "Much more."  
  
    Dean didn't know what to tell him. He was an Angel, he didn't understand these things. Dean stood.  
  
    "Sammy," he said. "Will you watch Mary a sec?"  
  
    "Uh, yeah," Sam answered, rising from his seat and taking the baby from his brother. Dean gave a nod of his head to Castiel and the Angel followed him back to their room.  
  
    "Look Cas," Dean told him. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to let you down," he spoke over him quickly before the Angel could respond. "Okay, I was wrong. But it worked out alright, didn't it?"  
  
    Castiel took a breath.  
  
    "I want you to promise me that there will be no more secrets."  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "Secrets? Like hiding the fact that Raphael stole your grace?"  
  
    Cas blushed, looking away.  
  
    "That was different," he answered lamely. Dean smiled, shaking his head as he pulled the Angel into his arms.  
  
    "We're quite pair," he observed, pressing his lips to Castiel's. "This is going to be one long day," he murmured, his hand roaming down the Angel's back and over his behind. Castiel sighed.  
  
    "Dean," he whispered, his hands resting on the hunters hips. Dean leaned in to kiss him again, but Sam's voice called to him from the first floor.  
  
    "Dean!"  
  
    Both Dean and Castiel turned, more concerned by the tone in his voice.  
  
    "Dean, get down here! There’s.... there's someone at the door for you..."  
  
    Dean and Cas left the bedroom, taking the stairs the living room. Once Dean hit the landing, he stopped short, staring at the man standing in the threshold of the doorway. His sudden stop caused Castiel to slam into him, and the Angel grabbed on to Dean not only to steady himself, but to keep his knees from giving out. Both men stared, transfixed at the visitor.  
  
    "Hello Dean... Castiel."  
  
    There was silence for a long stretch of time before the Angel finally spoke.  
  
    ".... Jimmy?"  
  


~~~~~~~~~~


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy sighed heavily, looking down at the phone in his hand before steeling himself and dialing. He brought it to his ear, wiping his damp palm on the front of his shirt as the ringing filled his ear. With each ring, his stomach felt more queasy, but it was nothing compared to the knot that clenched in his gut when it stopped.  
> "Hello?" Jimmy felt his mouth had gone dry and he was unable to speak. The woman's voice spoke again. "Hello?"  
> "Amelia?"  
> There was silence on the other end for a moment, and when Amelia finally spoke, her voice had a uneasy note to it.  
> "Yes... who is this?"  
> Jimmy felt emotion tighten his throat and jaw, but he forced out his response.  
> "It's Jimmy, Ames... it's me."  
> She didn't answer right away, but he could hear her unsteady breath over the phone.  
> "J... Jim?" she replied, her tone slightly higher than normal. "Jimmy?"  
> He could feel the tears roll down his face as he nodded, running a hand over his hair.  
> "Yeah, honey, it's me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some more Dean/Cas smut. Sorry - or not sorry, depending on how well you like it! :)

        Dean turned back to look at the Angel behind him, then turning his stunned gaze back to the man in the doorway. His brow was furrowed in confusion and he shook his head.  
  
    "Jimmy?" he asked. "Jimmy Novak?"  
  
    "Hello Dean," the new arrival spoke. Dean recoiled a bit, hearing such familiar words from a different voice. And not only that... he didn't even really look like Cas.  
  
    "What... what are you doing here?" Dean asked, walking further into the room. Jimmy shrugged, looking from the elder Winchester to the Angel behind him. "Is... is that the way I look?" he asked, distracted.  
  
    "No," both Sam and Dean replied together. Castiel tilted his head to the side.  
  
    "How are you here, Jimmy?" he asked. Jimmy shook his head.  
  
    "I was in Heaven," he explained, "And an angel came to me. She asked me if I wanted to return to my family..."  
  
    "What?" Dean asked, stunned. Mrs. Winchester stepped in, speaking to the group.  
  
    "I'm not sure what this is about," she began. "But maybe we should sit. Jimmy, is it?" he nodded. "Would you like some coffee?"  
  
    "Yes, please," he replied. "As strong as you can make it,"  
  
    Mary smiled, leaving the room as Jimmy sat down on the sofa. Sam sat in a chair across from him and Dean and Cas remained standing.  
  
    "Go on," Dean asked the new arrival. Jimmy sighed.  
  
    "This angel," he began again. "She said that she could take me back to earth, back to my family." he laughed. "I asked her what the catch was. She said nothing, that it was for Castiel," Dean looked at Cas and the Angel looked back at him, equally confused. "to be honest, I had to think about it for a while. I mean, I remember what happened last time I tried to go home. I didn't want to put Claire and Amelia though that again. But the angel, she said they would be fine. That the demons would no longer connect me to Castiel and that I could go home..." he looked down at his hands. "She said Amelia hadn't remarried or anything... that she... was still grieving the loss of me." He looked over at Sam, finding it easier to look at him than Dean or Cas. "I took into consideration how this would disrupt your lives. I mean, I know that Castiel had become a friend. But she assured me that Castiel wanted this, that this wouldn't change things for him. And as much as I like heaven, I... I missed my family. So I said yes."  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, placing his hands on his hips and turning away, running a hand through his hair. Castiel spoke.  
  
    "And how... how did you come back? I... my vessel..."  
  
    Jimmy shrugged again.  
  
    "I don't know," he answered, honestly. "She touched my shoulder and suddenly we were standing down the driveway... I asked her where we were, but she just said I had to come here first. That the people inside would get me where I needed to go. She... she seemed to think she wouldn't be welcome."  
  
    "Meddler," Dean grumbled. "We're pleased for you Jimmy, really," he said. "We'll get you back to your family."  
  
    "Thank you," the older man replied. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you," he said again, taking the coffee from Mrs. Winchester. Mary set down at his side.  
  
    "Are you two related?" she asked, speaking to Jimmy but turning to Castiel.  
  
    "You could say that," Sam replied, with a smirk. Jimmy turned to the younger Winchester, his eyes drawn to the infant in his arms.  
  
    "She's beautiful," he said, watching the little girl holding on to her uncles hand. "It's been a long time since my daughter was that small. How old is she?"  
  
    "A month," Sam replied, shifting the baby so she was leaning back against his chest so she was facing the room. Jimmy smiled.  
  
    "She yours?" he asked. "she has your chin,"  
  
    Sam chuckled nervously, leaning down to kiss the baby on the top of her head.  
  
    "I wish, but no..."  
  
    Jimmy turned to Dean.  
  
    "So she's yours? I guess you have the same chin,"  
  
    Dean smiled in spite of himself, looking over to his baby girl.  
  
    "Yeah, she's mine." he admitted, crossing the room and taking the baby from his brothers arms. The baby gurgled happily, watching her father raptly. Jimmy turned to Castiel, taken by the way the Angel was looking upon the man and his daughter. He frowned, turning back to Sam who addressed him.  
  
    "I sure hope everything works out for you and your family, Jimmy," Sam said, a look of apprehension on his face. "I mean... did Amariel give you a back up clause?"  
  
    Jimmy's brow creased, and it was the first expression that made him look even slightly like Castiel.  
  
    "How did you know the angel's name?" he asked. Dean gave a snort of amusement.  
  
    "We've met." he explained. Jimmy turned back to the younger Winchester.  
  
    "I never thought about a 'plan B'," he answered, honestly. "If Amelia won't," his voice faltered a moment, as if he hadn't considered the possibility. "won't take me back I... well, I can't go back to Heaven. It won't be the same anyway. I'll just have to find a new life down here. I'm still Claire's father. I want to be in her life."  
  
    Mary Winchester reached over and placed her hands around Jimmy's.  
  
    "From what I've heard of the sacrifices you've made," she told him assuredly. "Your wife loves you and is missing you greatly. Castiel told me what you did to protect your family, not to mention the whole of creation." she squeezed his hand tightly, and he looked to her with emotion and gratitude in his eyes. "I'm sure you are the kind of husband and father that is hard to find. She will run into your arms the moment she knows you have returned."  
  
    Jimmy pressed his lips together, but nodded in reply. Dean looked to Sam, the brothers exchanging a look of tense understanding. The group was diverted from their thoughts when Bobby entered the room. He took one look at the new arrival and sighed.  
  
    "This man's been here how long and you haven't salted, holy watered, or at least try to knife him once?" he asked, disgusted. Dean and Sam made sounds of apology, and Dean handed his daughter to his mother. Jimmy patiently submitted to their tests. "Idjits," Bobby grumbled, shaking his head. "Anyway, Dean - can I speak with you a moment? You too, Sam,"  
      
    When Dean and Sam followed the older hunter from the room, Mary stood.  
  
    "Are you hungry, Jimmy?" she asked, gently transferring the child into Castiel's arms. "There is some frittata left over from breakfast that heats up nicely. Or I could make you a sandwich."  
  
    "Whatever is easiest, thank you," he answered. She smiled at him before turning from the room. Jimmy and Cas set side by side in silence for a long, awkward moment.  
  
    "How are you doing, Castiel?" Jimmy asked, turning to the Angel but focusing on the baby in his arms. The child had the Angel's hand gripped tightly in hers, he eyes watching him. "How have things... been here?"  
  
    Castiel sighed.  
  
    "One of my older brothers stole my grace a couple weeks ago," he answered blandly. "Other than that, I can't complain." he felt guilty telling Jimmy how happy he'd been in his commandeered vessel. Not when Jimmy had missed years of his daughter's life. Jimmy tilted his head.  
  
    "Stole your grace?" he asked, confused. "What does that mean?"  
  
    "It means the part of me that was an Angel, is no longer contained in this vessel. It is just human now." he explained. "Hunger, pain, cold, fatigue, sickness... I can experience that now."  
  
    Jimmy swallowed, asking with some hesitance.  
  
    "What about the good emotions?"  
  
    Castiel gave a soft smile.  
  
    "Those are not emotions, just physical sensations."  
  
    "Angel's can't feel physical sensations?" Jimmy asked before he could stop himself. He clamped his mouth shut, horrified and curious that the Angel may respond.  
  
    "Yes," Castiel told him. "But it is different. The major difference is that I cannot fly, I cannot heal, I am not sustained by my grace and must therefore intake sustenance."  
  
    "You've had quite a year, I guess," Jimmy responded, reaching out to smoothing down the baby's curls. His voice was quiet when he spoke. "I... I'm so sorry Castiel..." he said. "This must be hard on you."  
  
    Castiel looked over at the man - feeling an odd sensation of looking at himself, yet as if the image was reversed, or of his look-alike younger brother.  
  
    "I will manage. Dean believes we will find away to get my grace back. It is something I must endure, and learn from."  
  
    Jimmy shook his head, a smile finally coming to his face, but it was slightly pained.  
  
    "I'm not talking about your grace," he said quietly, looking over his shoulder through the dining room to where Mrs. Winchester was preparing him a plate of food. "I'm talking about Dean..." he looked down at the baby. "Settling down with someone... starting a family..." Castiel's brows pinched together in confusion when Jimmy spoke his final words. "Having a baby."      
  
    "What?" The Angel asked. Jimmy looked back again, making sure he had time to speak while they were still alone.  
  
    "You don't have to lie to me Castiel," he said, kindly. "We shared that 'vessel' for over a year. I... I know how you feel about him.. or... _felt_ about him. It was a little overwhelming at times," Castiel's eyes narrowed as he watched the man speak. "It made me miss Ames... To see him settled down with someone else, with a baby, well... well I know you, so I know you are happy for him - she seems really kind - but you... it must be killing you."  
  
    Castiel turned to look into the kitchen where Jimmy was once again focused. Mary smiled at them, calling out.  
  
    "It will be just a minute more. Do you want to sit at the table, or eat out there?"  
  
    "I'll be in," Jimmy called to her, turning back to Castiel. "There were a few times when I thought he may return your feelings but... I'm so sorry, Cas. Really."  
  
    "That's Dean's mother," Castiel spoke, flatly. Jimmy's eyes widened.  
  
    "What?"  
  
    "Her," Castiel indicated the kitchen. "That's Mary Winchester, Dean and Sam's mother. She was also brought back by Amariel. She died when Dean was just a child."  
  
    "Oh," Jimmy replied, frowning. "But... but her," he continued, touching the baby's soft hair once more. "Dean's daughter?"  
  
    Castiel looked down at the baby, pride in his voice as he answered.  
  
    "And mine as well. This child was born of Dean's love for me. From his honest intent to have a family with me." he looked up to the other man, who seemed stunned. "She is a miracle."  
  
    "Wow," was all Jimmy could say. "Wow... Cas... wow....wait," he looked down into the baby's face, and she starred back with her round, blue eyes. Jimmy's gaze took in the Winchester features, and those that looked like the Angel. Those that looked like him. "Genetically..."  
  
    "Yes," Castiel answered, nodding. "Genetically she is a Novak. But spiritually, she is mine. I... I guess it is I who should be apologizing. What I've been doing with your vessel-"  
  
    "It's okay!" Jimmy said quickly, holding up his hands. "It's.. okay. Just... just forget it." he ran a hand through his hair, looking back down at the child. "She really must be a miracle," he commented in a low tone. "It took us five years before we had Claire... the doctor's said she was a miracle. I... I don't work the way I should, I guess. Amelia had all the tests, but it turned out to be me..."  
  
    "One child is more than enough blessings," Castiel told him. "But, you mustn't give up faith. You have a new chance now. A new start."  
  
    "A new vessel," Jimmy laughed. "Ugh," he took a deep breath, pushing himself to his feet. "I don't know whether to bless or curse the day I met you, Castiel,"  
  
    Castiel rose, looking squarely at the human across from him.  
  
    "It was a blessing for me," he replied, turning back down to his daughter. Jimmy smiled, reaching out once more to touch the infant. She was adorable.  
  
    "Yeah... well... I'll try to weigh the good against the bad. I worry about what this has done to my own daughter."  
  
    Castiel looked upon Jimmy with sympathy.  
  
    "When I took your child as my vessel," he told him, the words making the other man cringe. "I was amazed by her maturity, and courage, and grace. I believe your daughter understands what had to be done. I don't deceive myself that she is sad to be parted from you, but I know she is aware of why it had to be. You raised your child to have faith, and she does."  
  
    "More than I did," Jimmy sighed.  
  
    "No. Your faith was more than enough,"  
  
    Jimmy stared at the Angel a moment before turning away.  
  
    "Thank you, Castiel. For... for everything." he murmured. Cas shook his head.  
  
    "No, Thank you. For without you the world would have lost so much. _I_ would have lost so much. Your faith and courage saved millions... it saved Dean." Jimmy looked back at the Angel, but he diverted his eyes. "I cannot ever sufficiently thank you."  
  
    Jimmy reached out, giving the other man a supportive squeeze to his arm, but nothing further was said. Mary had called to them, announcing that Jimmy's food was ready and that she had put more coffee on for Cas. They returned to the kitchen.  
  
    "I'm not sure you're feeling one hundred percent yet," she admonished the Angel, taking the baby back from his arms and reaching out to press a palm to his forehead. "You look a little peaky,"  
  
    "I'm fine," he assured her, setting down at the seat with a cup of coffee in front of it - dark roasted and containing just a splash of cream, the way he liked it. "You worry too much over me,"  
  
    "I'm a mom," she told him, kissing the top of his head. "That's my job,"  
  
    Jimmy watched the exchange with a grin as he started in on the toasted turkey club sandwich Mary had made. He would need to see his own family first to be sure, but seeing what his sacrifice had brought to this family - after all they'd been through - couldn't help but bring joy to his heart.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Jimmy soon found that, as much as he missed his family and ached to see them, he wasn't emotionally ready to speak with them. He made three phone attempts, but stopped mid-dial. The fourth he disconnected before it could ring. Mary gently encouraged him to take his time, to relax and let the moment come to him, for which he was grateful.  
  
    The day wasn't completely without its awkward moments, however. As cute as Mary was, Jimmy couldn't help but spend his fair share of time holding her, or assisting in her care. He was better at child care than both Sam and Dean combined, and vastly better than Castiel, but he was respectful of whose child she really was. Sam was more troubled by it than the child's parents. Dean was more disturbed by why he couldn't figure out why Jimmy and Cas looked nothing alike.  
  
    "I mean, didn't she think to give him the same face at least?" Dean whispered to Sam, watching the older man as he walked back and forth across the room, gently bouncing the baby in his arms. "I mean, Amelia is going to notice..."  
   
    "You know Dean," Sam replied, trying to stay neutral. "I think... I think they do look alike if you... if you squint... or if they squint, I'm not sure... But, they definitely have the same body shape."  
  
    "They do not!" Dean hissed, looking from Jimmy to Castiel, who was setting at the end of the sofa, his arms folded across his chest and his head leaning against the wing back. He was asleep. The conversation faded quickly from Dean's mind and he stood, crossing to the Angel.  
  
    "Cas, buddy," he spoke gently, taking hold of the older man's arm. "Come on, you need to head upstairs,"  
  
    Castiel woke with a start, looking confusedly up at Dean before turning to the others in the room.  
  
    "What?" he asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion and he brought a hand to his forehead.  
  
    "Your head still hurt?" Dean asked, standing back as Castiel stood. Cas nodded, turning obediently at Dean's direction and letting him lead him from the room. Jimmy turned to Sam.  
  
    "Is he going to be alright?" he asked, concerned. Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair.  
  
    "I'm sure he will be. Cas has been in worse situations than being human,"  
  
    "Hm," Jimmy said in agreement, looking back at the empty staircase the men had taken. "And he has Dean,"  
  
    Sam was quiet a minute before answering.  
  
    "Yeah. They're lucky,"  
  
    Jimmy looked back to the young man, and Sam was staring absently at his feet. Jimmy crossed to him, slowly lowering the baby into his arms.  
  
    "You're young, Sam," he said, pushing his hands into his pockets. "There's time."  
  
    "Oh, yeah, I know," Sam answered, nodding and setting up straighter as he cuddled the baby to his chest. "It's good. I'm okay."  
  
    Jimmy nodded, smiling at Sam although he could see the pain through the other man's eyes. He turned from the room, leaving the younger man and the baby and moving into the kitchen where Mary was preparing dinner.  
  
    "Mrs. Winchester," he began. Mary turned to him, a warm smile on her face.  
  
    "Call me Mary, Jimmy," she told him. Jimmy returned the smile.  
  
    "Mary... do we have any aspirin?"  
  
    Mary frowned, turning to the cupboard and taking out the bottle of pain relief medication that Dean had purchased many weeks ago.  
  
    "Will that work?" she asked. Jimmy nodded, thanking her and filling a class with water. He carried them to the second floor, stopping just outside of Dean's room. The door was slightly ajar, and Jimmy could see Castiel sitting on the side of the bed. Dean was kneeling on the mattress behind him, using his thumbs to stroke the tense muscles of the Angel's neck.  
  
    "Well, I can tell you what this is, buddy," Dean was saying softly, moving his hands down to the older man's shoulders. Castiel groaned from the sensation, the knots in his muscles so tight that the touch was almost painful. "This is stress, pure and simple. What's got you so worked up?"  
  
    "Stress?" Castiel repeated, leaning his head forward as Dean moved his fingers back up his spine.  
  
    "Yeah, what's troubling you?" Dean asked. Castiel was quiet for a long moment.  
  
    "I'm fine, Dean," he spoke quietly. "I don't know why I have stress..."  
  
    Dean took a deep breath and sighed, deciding now was not the time to give the Angel the third degree. He leaned down, laying a gentle kiss on the back of his neck.  
  
    "I want you to rest," Dean told him, moving to stand. He arranged the pillows, helping Cas to his feet and pulling back the sheet. "In," he instructed. Castiel lay back and Dean pulled off his shoes before bringing the sheet back over him. He leaned over, kissing the Angel on the forehead. "Sleep baby," he murmured, before his attention was drawn to a knock outside the room. Dean crossed the room and opened the door enough to see Jimmy standing there. The older man gave a nervous sort of smile before holding out the bottle and glass that he had with him.  
  
    "For Castiel," he explained. "I... I thought it might help... I hope he feels better."  
  
    "Thanks man," Dean replied, taking the offered items. Jimmy turned, heading back downstairs. He had a strange conflicted feeling; it was strange to see his body in any sort of intimate setting with another person, but having experience with how much the Angel loved this man, it was nice to see that he was finally requited. He continued down into the living room, returning to where Sam sat.  
  
    "Sam?" he asked, gaining the younger man's attention. Sam looked up, his smile faltering at seeing the serious expression on Jimmy's face.  
  
    "Yeah? You okay?"  
  
    "Yeah," Jimmy assured him. "I was wondering if I could... borrow your phone?"  
  
    Sam's brow furrowed, but realization dawned quickly and he pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it over. Jimmy thanked him and stepped out on to the front porch. He sighed heavily, looking down at the phone in his hand before steeling himself and dialing. He brought it to his ear, wiping his damp palm on the front of his shirt as the ringing filled his ear. With each ring, his stomach felt more queasy, but it was nothing compared to the knot that clenched in his gut when it stopped.  
  
    "Hello?" Jimmy felt his mouth had gone dry and he was unable to speak. The woman's voice spoke again. "Hello?"  
  
    "Amelia?"  
  
    There was silence on the other end for a moment, and when Amelia finally spoke, her voice had a uneasy note to it.  
  
    "Yes... who is this?"  
  
    Jimmy felt emotion tighten his throat and jaw, but he forced out his response.  
  
    "It's Jimmy, Ames... it's me."  
  
    She didn't answer right away, but he could hear her unsteady breath over the phone.  
  
    "J... Jimmy?" she replied, her tone slightly higher than normal. "Jimmy?"  
  
    He could feel the tears roll down his face as he nodded, running a hand over his hair.  
  
    "Yeah, honey, it's me."  
  
    Amelia sob was muffled by her hand, but she spoke again.  
  
    "Are you alright? Where are you?"  
  
    "I'm in South Dakota," he replied with a laugh, wiping the tears from his face as he paced the front porch. "I'm with Castiel and the Winchesters."  
  
    "And you're safe?" she asked him. "You're not... hurt?"  
  
    "I'm safe," he assured her. "Everything is fine. I... Amelia," he took a deep breath, placing a hand on his stomach. "I'm no longer Castiel's vessel," he told her.  
  
    "What?" she asked, her hand rising to her throat as he held the phone tightly to her ear. "What does that mean?"  
  
    "It means," he began softly. "That Castiel has a... another vessel to inhabit. The demons won't come looking for me now that I'm not with him. I... I can go back to my own life now... if... if you will have me back," before she could answer, he spoke quickly, emotion overcoming him. "I've missed you so much Amelia. I'm so sorry for doing all this to you and Claire."  
  
    "Jimmy," she interrupted. "Please don't cry," he could hear the tears in her own voice as she spoke. "I... I love you. I've miss you too. I've missed you."  
  
    Jimmy brought his hand to his face, unable to speak as he cried.  
  
    "Ames," he spoke, "I miss you."  
  
    "Where are you, Jimmy?" she asked, desperately. "Where are you? I'll come get you. I'll come right away."  
  
    Jimmy caught his breath, swallowing the lump in his throat.  
  
    "We need to talk first," he told her, sadly. "Things... things are a little complicated."  
  
    He could hear her bitter laugh before she spoke.  
  
    "Of course it is," she told him. "But the Angel has moved on and now... now you can come home, right?'  
  
    "Right," he agreed, and she spoke again before he continue.  
  
    "That's all that matters to me," she assured him. "I don't care how complicated. I don't' care how scary. I don't care how weird and supernatural. I want you home Jimmy, I... I want my husband back."  
  
    Jimmy felt a weight lift from his shoulders, but he was still tense and concerned. He dropped his head.  
  
    "I'm at a place called Singer Salvage," he gave her the exact address.  
  
    "I’m going to take Claire to my mother’s," she told him. "South Dakota is not even a day from here. I’ll start out as soon as I can."  
  
    "Ames," he told her. "It's almost seven now. Why don't you wait until tomorrow." Amelia was quiet a moment for she replied.  
  
    "Fine. But first thing in the morning, okay?"  
  
    "Okay," he agreed. "Could you... could you bring me a few things to wear?  
  
    "Of course," she said with a teary laugh. The both held the phone, listening to the silence, but unable to hang up. Finally, Jimmy spoke.  
  
    "I love you, Amelia," he told her. She sniffed back tears, her voice thick with emotion when she spoke.  
  
    "I love you, too."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    "I feel bad eating without Castiel," Mary spoke, setting a serving bowl in the middle of the table. "Are you sure he's okay?"  
  
    "He's fine, mom," Dean assured her, placing a napkin on his lap and leaning his arms on the table. "I'll make sure he eats when he gets up."  
  
    "The poor thing," Mary sighed, ruffling her eldest son's hair on her way back to the stove. She returned with a platter of pork chops and set them in front of Sam before setting in her own chair. She turned to their guest. "Would you like to say grace, Jimmy?" she asked.  
  
    Jimmy looked stunned a moment, looking around at the other men. Hesitantly, he reached out for Dean's and Mary's hands as they were the closest to him. He lowered his head, taking a deep breath.  
  
    "Um... Dear Lord, please bless this food," he began "...and us, your children, so that we may always continue to serve your will in a way which is pleasing to you...  um... amen."  
  
     "Amen," the group echoed. Dean pulled his hand away, and the group began to serve each other from the dishes closest. When everyone had taken what they wanted, Sam spoke.  
  
    "Did... did you get a hold of Mrs. Novak?" he asked Jimmy. The other man nodded, swallowing the mouthful of mashed potato he had just eaten.  
  
    "Yeah," he answered, unable to keep the smile from his face. "She's coming out tomorrow to come get me."  
  
    Dean grimaced.  
      
    "That's crazy," he said. "We could have called Amariel's ass back here to angel you home, save you some gas money."  
  
    "It's better this way," Jimmy assured him. "This will give us some time alone to talk, for me to explain. For her to..." he shrugged, shaking his head. "To see Castiel. I'm not going to keep anything from her. She deserves to know everything."  
  
    "Everything?" Bobby asked, raising an eyebrow. "You sure that's wise?"  
  
    Jimmy looked back to the hunter.  
  
    "She's my wife. I'm not going to keep something from her. It's the same as lying. I won't lie."  
  
    "No one's asking you to lie," Dean told him. "We just don't want things to be more difficult than they already are."  
  
    Jimmy sighed, leaning back in his chair.  
  
    "Temporary peace can't make up for loss of trust." he said. "It's better to just put all your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. My wife loss faith and trust in me once. I won't do anything to lose it again, not if I can help it."  
  
    "Honesty is the best policy," Mary said. "I think it's only fair to Mrs. Novak that she hears the truth. The whole, crazy, unbelievable truth." she shook her head, self-consciously picking up her knife and taking Sam's fork from his hands, cutting up his pork chop. Sam just smiled, watching her do it. "I always wonder what would have happened differently if I had told John-"  
  
    "Don't, mom," Sam said firmly. "Don't..."  
  
    She looked up and smiled at him, handing him back his fork.  
  
    "Eat up, boys," she said with a laugh. "For dessert, I made pie,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Jimmy elected to take the sofa for the night. Mary put down some sheets for him and Sam loaned him some pajamas. Dean stood in the kitchen, feeding the baby her last bottle of the night, watching the older man as he arranged the pillows on the couch. Dean's eyes traveled over Jimmy's dark, wavy hair, down the lines of his neck and the planes of his torso. He resembled Cas, that was true, but there was nothing in the man's shape or manner that had the least affect on him. For a moment, he even tried to imagine that the man was sexy - but the thought just made him give a snort of laughter and he looked back down at his daughter.  
  
    He had a fleeting thought of how he would have felt if Castiel had taken a female vessel instead - a shapely, busty vessel with long, dark wavy hair. He entertained the idea for a fraction of a second before he realized that, while he may have slept with him as a girl pretty quickly, he probably wouldn't have given the relationship enough time to turn to love. But who knows. It didn't matter. He had Cas and he loved him, just as he was - Angel or human, man or woman, he didn't care. But he didn't want him any other way than the way he was.  
  
    Once Mary had finished the bottle, he dropped it in the sink and walked to the living room.  
  
    "Have a good night, Jimmy," he said to the other man. Jimmy looked up and gave a nod.  
  
    "You too. Sleep well." he smiled at the baby, moving to Dean's side to touch the baby's face. "Good night, little one."  
  
    Sam came out to say good night to Dean and Mary too, and afterward Dean took the stairs back to his room. He was surprised to see the bed was empty, but Castiel appeared to be in the bathroom since the door was closed. Dean collected the baby's things for bed before laying a blanket down on the bed and placing her in the center of it.  
  
    "Hey bud," he called to the closed door. "When you come out of there could you bring me a wet wash cloth?"  
  
    Dean could hear the sound of water running as he undressed the infant and moments later Castiel came back into the room.  
  
    "Here," he said, handing the damp cloth to the younger man. Dean took it, looking up at his Angel.  
  
    "Thanks." Dean said, accepting the cloth. He looked up at the Angel, taking inventory of his appearance. "How're you feeling?"  
      
    "Better," Cas replied, setting on the side of the bed and watching as Dean wiped the baby off before redressing her in a onesie. "My head doesn't hurt any more... but, I'm still tired. I don't know how you humans do it... so many competing needs... pain, fatigue, sexual frustration, hunger... it's overwhelming."  
  
    "You get used to it," Dean smiled, picking the baby up and holding her against his chest. He turned back down to look at Cas. He covered the baby's ear that wasn't pressed against his shirt. "Sexual frustration?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Castiel smirked.  
  
    "I haven't seen you for three weeks Dean," he replied with a sigh. "I used to never even think about sex. But now..."  
  
    "It's almost like a drug," Dean grinned. "Once you have that first hit, well..." he chuckled at Castiel's unamused expression. Dean reached out and ruffled the Angel's hair. "I told you you were gonna miss me." he said. "Why didn't you just... you know..." he made a gesture in mid-air with his hand. Castiel's brow creased and he narrowed his eyes.  
  
    "I have no idea what that means," he stated. Dean chuckled, pacing the room as he waited for the baby to fall into a deep enough sleep. Castiel watched him from the side of the bed, his look of irritation melting into one of contentment. When Dean was satisfied that the baby was ready to be put down, he carried her to the cradle and gently placed her inside. Dean moved back to stand in front of Castiel, reaching down and placing his hands on the older man's shoulders.  
  
    "Now," he said lowly, gently kneading the muscles beneath his palms. "Why don't you tell me what it is you got going on in that pretty little head of yours that's got your muscles in a bind."  
  
    Castiel placed his hands over Dean's, dropping his head against the other man's stomach. Dean pulled one hand away, bringing it up to stroke Cas's hair.  
  
    "I'm pretty much useless, Dean," Castiel told him blandly. "I've been human for two weeks and I've spent more time sleeping and vomiting than doing anything helpful."  
  
    "You got sick, Cas," Dean explained, stepping closer and letting the Angel wrap his arms around him. Dean ran his hand soothingly over Castiel's back.  "It happens. But there are only two things to think about - one, we get your grace back and all things well; two, you get used to being human and all things well. You've had a bad run, that doesn't make you useless." Dean could feel the muscle's in the Angel's back tense. He shook the older man slightly. "Hey, look at me." Castiel raised his eyes, looking up at Dean expectantly. Dean looked back at him, sternly. "Let me tell you what," he began. "I don't keep you around because you can heal people, or fly, or clean my clothes without a machine. I also don't keep you around because your nice to look at and you keep me warm at night," he smiled then, running his fingertips down Castiel's cheek. "But, you are nice to look at..." he shook his head, the grin not leaving his face. "I need you, buddy. Just because I do. Because you make me happy. Just you being here.... you're my baby daddy,"  
  
    "That's not proper grammar," Castiel responded, but he smiled softly. "But, I appreciate the sentiment. I... I just don't want to be a burden on you."  
  
    "You're not a burden, you hear?" Dean told him firmly. "You've done so much for me and Sammy... I got my parent's back because of you. I have a family because of you. We take care of each other, you got that?"  
  
    "Yes, Dean," Castiel replied, nodding. Dean ran a hand over Cas's hair, smoothing his fingers over the Angel's brow.  
  
    "Now.." he spoke, seriously. "How're you feeling. Be honest."  
  
    Cas nodded, looking up at Dean.  
  
    "I feel fine. There's no more pain."  
  
    "Good," Dean said, pulling Castiel to his feet. "So, why don't you welcome me home good and proper, hm?"  
  
    Castiel accepted Dean's kiss without resistance. Dean had intended the kiss to remain sweet and gentle, but for both of them, it soon became hungry and desperate.  
  
    "God I've missed you," Dean said breathlessly, pulling the Angel's shirt up over his head and attacking the newly exposed flesh of his chest.  
  
    "I'm not god," Castiel replied, gasping as Dean's tongue dipped into the hollow of his collar bone. Dean chuckled, his hands sliding up the muscular plane of Cas's back.  
  
    "You're better," he breathed, "Your the sun,"  
  
    Castiel pulled the hunter's shirt up, and Dean stripped it from his body, tossing it behind him. The moment he was free of the garment, Castiel was back in his arms. Dean guided the Angel to the side of the bed, gently leaning in to him and forcing the older man to sit. Castiel groaned as Dean turned his attention back to his chest, moving slowly down the Angel's torso as he sank to his knees. Dean's hand slid up to his chest, the pressure causing Cas to lay back against the mattress. Castiel sighed, biting his lip and twisting his hand in his hair as he felt Dean's warm lips working over the skin below his navel. Castiel lifted his hips at Dean's urging, and the cool air raised goose bumps on his skin as Dean slid the fabric of his pants down his legs.  
  
    "Dean," Cas moaned, bringing his hands to Dean's hair and raising his head to look down at his companion. "Dean this... this feels... different,"  
  
    Dean lifted his head, slowly stroking his hands down Cas's hips and across his thighs.  
  
    "Different bad or different good?" he asked quietly, one hand smoothing across the skin low on the Angel's stomach. Castiel's eyes slid closed.  
  
    "...different..." he murmured, "This vessel... these human feelings..." he spoke tightly. "... It's... different..."  
  
    Dean let out a slow breath, his mind working through what could be going on inside Castiel's new human form. As and Angel, he seemed perfectly receptive and responsive to Dean's attention; if as a human, his senses were more profound, he wasn't sure what that meant, because if pleasure was more intense, so would be pain.  
  
    "Hmm," Dean remarked, taking a deep breath. "well, I'll tell you what," he leaned up on the bed, kneeling over Castiel and kissing him deeply. "You let me know what you like, and what you don't like, okay?" he looked down into the Angel's blue eyes. "If you want me to stop, you tell me to stop, got it?"  
  
    Castiel looked back at him with lust in his eyes.  
  
    "I just want you, Dean," he said, his hands closing over Dean's arms. "I've missed your touch,"  
  
    Dean smiled, settling down at Castiel's side and kissing him languidly. Castiel moaned against his mouth, his grip on Dean's arm tightening as the younger man dragged his hand down the Angel's bare flesh and gently stroked his fingers across Cas's aching erection. Castiel shivered, and Dean could feel the other man's flesh harden against his touch. Dean pulled the Angel into his arms, deepening their kisses and letting his hands continue to roam over Castiel's body. With reluctance, Castiel let Dean's mouth break from his, and he moaned as the hunter blazed a trail of hot kisses back down the length of his body until Dean was once again kneeling between his knees on the floor beside the bed.  
  
    Dean could hear Cas's low, shallow breaths as he lay kisses on the inside of Castiel's thigh. The Angel whispered his name, and Dean gave in to other man's desire by dragging his tongue up the underside of Castiel's shaft. Cas moaned in appreciation, his hand once again finding Dean's hair. He closed his eyes, focusing on the wet heat of Dean's mouth. Castiel grimaced, twisting his hips uncomfortably from the pressure building in his groin.  
  
    "Dean," he said desperately. "Not... not yet,"  
  
    " 'Not yet' what, baby?" Dean asked, pushing himself to his feet but continuing to stroke Castiel's flesh with slow, steady motions.  
  
    "I need you," Castiel replied, his hand closing over Dean's wrist to slow him even more. "I can't... hold this."  
  
    Dean lay back down at Cas's side, nuzzling his throat.  
  
    "Don't hold back," he replied, his lips twisting into a grin. "If you come, I can bring you around again,"  
  
    Cas turned to him, his face flushed from desire.  
  
    "But... I want you inside me," he spoke, his voice rough with want. "...when I come."  
  
    Dean felt his mouth go dry and his own erection throbbed with longing. He kissed Castiel hard before pushing himself up and digging through the night stand for the bottle of lube. Castiel pulled back the sheet on the bed, righting himself back against the pillows as he watched Dean strip from his pants. The younger man returned to Cas's warm body, settling comfortably between his thighs. Castiel took the bottle from where it sat on the bed and poured the slick liquid into Dean's hand.  
  
    "Don't be shy," Dean commented, prompting Castiel to pour another measure into the first. Castiel frowned.  
  
    "That's quite a lot," he observed. Dean shook his head, shifting his weight so he could maneuver in the confines of the other man's body.  
  
    "No such thing," he grunted, stroking the gel onto his shaft before dropping his hand and letting the excess pour over Castiel's skin. The Angel grimaced, but the expression quickly turned to awe when Dean pressed his finger against his opening, firmly stroking the tight ring of muscles. "I don't want to hurt you, Cas," he spoke softly, kissing the Angel's slightly parted lips. Castiel let out a steady breath.  
  
    "We've done this before," he reminded the hunter. "I think I'l be fi-nnnn," the words turn quickly into a groan as Dean pushed with gentle force until Castiel's body opened to him. The Angel's muscles held tight to Dean's finger, and he eased slowly forward, spreading the lubricant as he withdrew before pressing in again. Castiel's hips twisted away at first, but as Dean quickly found a rhythm, driving as deep as he could, relaxing his entrance, Cas began moving back against him.  
  
    "Good man," Dean whispered against his ear, kissing Castiel's cheek as he pulled his hand away. Castiel groaned from the loss of contact and spread his thighs wider, tilting his hips toward Dean in anticipation of accepting him. Dean smiled, leaning down to capture the Angel's mouth as he nudged at his opening. Castiel gripped Dean's back, his muscles taut as he waited for Dean to make his next move. With only slight trepidation, Dean pushed into his companion's ready body, letting out a low moan of satisfaction as he sunk into the Angel's heat.  
  
    Oh, how he'd missed this man.  
  
    Dean was so aroused by this point, he couldn't find a steady rhythm as he fought his body's desire to simply spill his seed as quickly as he could. But Castiel was panting, a low moan issuing from his throat and Dean could focus on nothing more than that. He slid his hand under Castiel's hip, changing the angel of his thrust and feeling the head of his shaft brush against Cas's prostate on each pass. The Angel sucked in a breath, Dean's name dying on his lips and he held the hunter tightly. Dean pressed deep into the body beneath him, desperate to get Castiel to completion before he was gone.  
  
    "Cas," he grunted, pressing his cheek against the Angel's shoulder as he thrust purposefully into him. "You close, baby?"  
      
    Castiel didn't respond immediately, each panting breath a premonition of his answer.  
  
    "... yes..." He grunted, a whine escaping him and he gasped. "Yes, _Dean_ -"  
  
    Dean leaned up on his forearms, looking down into the Angel's face as his climax hit - he didn't think he would ever tire of the look on his face when he came. Castiel's breath caught in his throat and arched toward the hunter, pulling him desperately down against him. Dean increased the frequency of his thrusts, keeping the pulse of pleasure radiating through the Angel's body and he finally relaxed back into the mattress. It wasn't too far after that Dean drove into him one final time, emptying his release into Cas's body. He gave a heavy exhale of relief, dropping his head to Castiel's shoulder. He reached between them, gently disengaging himself before he rolled onto his side. Cas had a hand on his chest, breathing deeply.  
  
    "I... enjoyed that," he told Dean, turning to look at him. "...very much."  
  
    Dean smiled, exhaustion and satisfaction washing over him.  
  
    "Right back atcha," he said, reaching out and pushing the damp, curling hair off of the Angel's forehead. "You... feel alright?"  
  
    Castiel sighed.  
  
    "I am quite satisfied," he replied, "... and hungry."  
  
    Dean chuckled, shaking his head. Yes, Cas was a human man now.  
  
    "I'll go get you something," he offered, making a motion to rise but Castiel stopped him.  
  
    "No, Dean, please," he began, and the younger man paused, relaxing back onto the bed. Cas blushed. "I... I'm not ready for you to leave my side. I... I've missed... this."  
  
    "No problem," Dean answered, settling back at Cas's side, pulling him into an embrace. Castiel shifted down the bed in order to rest his head against Dean's chest, and Dean absently stroked the back of the Angel's neck. They were quiet a moment, enjoying the closeness. Castiel was the first to speak.  
  
    "I'm proud of you," he said. Dean looked down at him, but couldn't see his face. Castiel continued. "You are brave and dedicated. And to think that you took such a risk for your family-"  
  
    " _Our_ family," Dean corrected him. "And it ain't nothin', Cas. We have a kid. There are certain things you have to do when you have a child. If it was just you and me, that would have been different."  
  
    Castiel leaned up, resting his arm across Dean's chest and looking down into his face. He narrowed his eyes as he spoke.  
  
    "I may not be able to look into your mind, as a human, but as someone who loves you, I don't find it difficult to see into your heart." he shook his head. "You are going to be a great father, Dean. You already are a great father. The errors in judgment your father made-" he felt the hunter shift slightly, and Dean dropped his eyes to where his free hand was now stroking the Angel's throat. "You will not make those same errors. You understand the importance of family, and what it is to lose it. I don't foresee you taking it for granted."  
  
    "Thank you, Cas," Dean replied, hugging him slightly with the arm he had wrapped around the Angel's back. He smiled, trying to mask the slightly bitter feeling that was starting to well up in him. "But, talking about my parents is not really the most sexy pillow talk after gettin' it on."  
  
    "Forgive me," Castiel spoke, nodding in understanding. "What is appropriate post coital conversation?"  
  
    "Anything that doesn't mention parents or the word 'coital'," Dean replied with a grin. Castiel blushed and it made Dean smile wider.       
  
    "I have erred twice," Cas observed. Dean brought a hand to the back of Castiel's head and pulled him down for a kiss.  
  
    "Make it up to me by telling me how much you missed me while I was gone," he murmured, moving on to kiss the Angel's throat as he waited for the response.  
  
    "Um..." Castiel began, his eyes closing as he felt a rekindling of desire. "I... greatly missed you..."  
  
    "Hm?" Dean commented, gently tilting Cas's head so he could nibble the sensitive smooth skin beneath the Angel's ear.  
  
    ".. yes..." he breathed, "... I missed your eyes... and... your smile..." Dean made a sound of interest, and the hand he had wrapped around Castiel slid down to settle in the curve of his lower back. "I missed... waking up with you in the morning..." Castiel continued. But Dean was surprised when Castiel pulled away.  
  
    "You'alright?" Dean asked. Castiel was looking pensive.  
  
    "I'm very aroused by what you are doing," he spoke, looking down at the hunter. Dean was amused by the almost concerned look on his companion's face. "my vessel... it... aches... where it wants you to be."  
  
    Dean licked his lips. He felt guilty working him up again, but he had missed the Angel too. And he ached as well, wanting to bury himself in the comfort of Castiel's body.  
  
    "Come here, babe," Dean spoke, sliding his hand down Castiel's side and pulling his thigh up over him. Castiel looked confused, but he straddled Dean's hips as directed, pushing himself up onto his palms to stare down at the hunter. Dean's hands were running over his hips, and he looked evenly back up into Castiel's blue eyes. "You trust me?" Dean asked. Castiel's brows pinched together, but he nodded.  
  
    Dean looked down, moving his hand to envelope Castiel's erection and he stoked him lightly. Castiel groaned, and he tried not to rock back into Dean's palm.  
  
    "Dean," he breathed, his eyes opening when Dean pulled his hand away. Cas watched him interestedly as the hunter reached out for the bottle of lubricant and poured more into his hand.  
  
    "Up just a bit," he murmured, and Castiel lifted his hips, allowing Dean to reach between them and spread the lubricant on his shaft. Dean breathed steadily, centering himself at the Angel's entrance.  
  
    "Dean," Castiel began, confused. "What... do I do?"  
  
    "You do what feels good," Dean advised, bringing his knees up so he could get leverage beneath his companion.  
  
    "I don't know what you - oh," Cas mouth paused in mid-speech as Dean pressed up into him. Castiel relaxed back against the intrusion and once he was  seated back against Dean's body, the hunter moved his hands to Cas's hips.  
  
    If Dean had thought looking down into Cas's face was satisfying, looking up at the Angel as he took his pleasure, even though it was hesitant, was overwhelmingly arousing. Castiel kept his eyes closed, focusing on the sensation, testing the angles until he found the one that caused the the pleasure to bloom like fireworks inside of him. Dean could feel the subtle shift in Castiel's movements.  
  
    "There?" Dean asked, moving back against Cas, driving into the spot that was making the Angel tremble. Castiel nodded, a blush spreading over his chest and up his throat as he rocked his hips to sustain the warm pulses of pleasure coursing through his groin.  
  
    "Dean, " Castiel moaned, his movements faltering. Dean flexed his hands against the Angel's hips, keeping a steady rhythm even though the other was losing his focus.  
  
    "You got this, babe," Dean encouraged him, "Don't stop,"  
  
    "Dean, I can't," Cas grunted, dropping his forehead to Dean's shoulder but continued move against the the hunter's steely erection. Dean heard his Angel give a huff of frustration, and he felt a odd twist of emotion in his chest. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas's back, pushing his other hand into the mattress so he could reverse their position on the bed. Castiel gasped, but it slid into a moan as Dean thrust directly into the spot that was setting the Angel's nerves humming. It didn't take many strokes before Dean felt Cas shudder, finding release for the second time.  
  
    Dean moaned with satisfaction, feeling the warmth of Cas's orgasm spill between them. Dean grunted, shortening his thrusts to quicken his own end. Castiel was moaning softly as Dean moved urgently against him, and the frame of the bed began to click from the movement. Dean grunted as the shock waves of pleasure jolted through him, grinding deeply into the warmth of Castiel's body as he came. He sighed, kissing his Angel lazily as he pulled away, dropping onto his side. Castiel was still breathing heavily, and he looked raptly at the hunter.  
  
    "Welcome home, Dean," he said, blinking as his eyelids grew heavy from exhaustion. Dean smiled, leaning over and pressing his lips to the Angel's.  
  
    "And a great welcome, too," he agreed. He ran a hand over Cas's dark hair. "How about that food now?"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "No, thank you, I just -" he yawned. "- want to sleep."  
  
    Dean had to agree. He was pretty worn out himself now. He reached off the bed to grab his t-shirt, using to clean up himself and Cas as best he could before pulling the Angel into his arms. Castiel was asleep.  
  
    When Mary woke sometime after two, Dean let his companion sleep. He pulled back on his pajama pants and after cleaning himself up a bit, he carried the baby to the kitchen to make her a bottle. He paced the kitchen, his eyes tired as he let the little girl eat. After a few moments, he was joined by the visage of Cas, dressed in oversized sleep clothes and with bed tousled hair. Dean smirked.  
  
    "Sorry if I woke you, Jimmy," he spoke quietly. "I tried not to bang things around too much,"  
  
    "Oh, well," Jimmy replied with a bitter laugh. "The 'banging around' ending hours ago. I just haven't been able to sleep since."  
  
    Dean grimaced, feeling a heat rise to his face.  
  
    "I... er... gah, I'm sorry,"  
  
    "No," Jimmy replied, waving a hand dismissively. He crossed to the fridge and poked around inside, pulling the bottle of milk and pouring himself a glass. "It's fine. I mean, this house was built in - what? - the turn of the century? It's to be expected that it's not that insulated to sound." he placed the glass in the microwave, noticing the stricken look on Dean's face. "It wasn't that loud," he tried to reassure him. "But, I mean, your room is right above the living room,"  
  
    Dean groaned, wishing he could rub the back of his neck but he was holding the bottle with the hand that wasn't holding the baby.  
  
    Jimmy sighed, taking the warm milk out of the microwave and blowing the steam off the top. Dean shifted uncomfortably.  
  
    "This has gotta be weird for you, so... I'm still sorry." he spoke. Jimmy shrugged, leaning against the counter.  
  
    "Things haven't been not-weird for me since an Angel spoke to me through my television," he replied with a frown. He shook his head, taking a sip of the milk. "But, Castiel is a decent guy. I shared that... vessel... with him for a long enough time to know that he wasn't just taking my body for a joy ride." Dean's brow creased in discomfort. Jimmy lifted his cup. "I don't think you are either, if that helps."  
  
    "Uh, thanks." Dean groaned. Jimmy sat the cup on the counter, folding his arms over his chest. Dean felt compelled to explain himself. "You see, it's just, Cas and I have been apart for a while and he had a headache last night so..."  
  
    Jimmy laughed.  
  
    "Really Dean," he replied, simply. "You're making it worse."  
  
    "Oh," Dean said, embarrassed. Jimmy smiled again.  
  
    "But I get it," he returned with a small sigh. "I haven't seen my wife in years..." he shook his head. "I'd rather there not be a floor below us for the next couple months."  
  
    Dean smirked, nodding.  
  
    "Yeah," he agreed. "I guess..."  
   
    "Look Dean," Jimmy said, turning toward the younger man. "This is weird, okay? We both know it. Frankly, everyone knows it... except Cas. He may not truly get the gravity of the weirdness."  
  
    "He's got other things on his mind," Dean agreed. Jimmy shrugged.  
  
    "But, I will be going back to my family. I don't consider the skin that Castiel is wearing as "mine". I'm the soul that was in that body, but it belongs to Castiel now. I want him to be happy. He's... he's awfully sad."  
  
    Dean looked to the other man, his expression pained.  
  
    "He is?" he asked. Jimmy's smiled, softly.  
  
    "Not any more, I'm sure."  
  
    The two were quiet for a long moment. Dean crossed to the table, continuing to feed the baby as Jimmy drank his warm milk.  
  
    “That freaking gross, dude,” Dean finally laughed. “That’s one step away from what’s in this bottle.”  
  
    Jimmy dropped his head, chuckling.  
  
    “It’s supposed to help you sleep,” he defended himself. “And I can’t... I’m honestly feeling a little nervous about this.” he sighed, and Dean’s smile faded. “I know you guys think it was noble of me to say yes to Cas, but... now that it’s all said and done, I realize how selfish and stupid it was.” Jimmy shook his head, sadly. “I just wanted to be important, I guess. To feel like I had a purpose, you know? Not that I was... just some guy from the midwest selling ad time for AM radio...”  
  
    Dean frowned.  
  
    “Well, the jokes on you,” he stated, putting Mary’s bottle on the table so he could lay her over his shoulder. “Because you _were_ important. You had a purpose. Cas was able to help us save a lot of people because of you.”  
  
    “That sounds nice,” Jimmy replied, frowning. “But it’s really just the religious version of wanting to be a rock star...”  
  
    Dean gave a huff of laughter.  
  
    “Unless you did it to get groupies and money and chicks, it is the exact opposite of wanting to be a rock star,” he said. “And I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the reason.” Dean watched the other man staring blankly into his drink for a moment before speaking again. “I’m gonna give one guess that says this stems from something caused by your dad.”  
  
    Jimmy looked up at him, and Dean could tell by the grimace he struck a nerve. Dean sighed.  
  
    “We’ll get your membership badge all made up tomorrow,” he said, rising from his seat and taking a bottle of scotch from the cabinet. He took Jimmy’s cup from the table and tossed the milk into the sink before returning to fill it halfway with the amber liquid. “I guarantee that’s gonna help knock you out faster.”  
  
    Jimmy sighed.  
  
    “Thank you,”  
  
    "Nothing doing,” Dean replied. “And you’ll be fine. You’re doing the right thing. I hope your wife isn't too freaked out by all this," he told Jimmy, sincerely. Jimmy nodded.  
  
    "Thank you. Me too, but..." he sighed, setting his now empty glass in the sink. "We'll see. Have a good rest of the night, Dean."  
  
    "Thanks," Dean replied, watching Jimmy paused before he left, reaching out to touch little Mary's hand. "Good night, Jimmy."  
  
    Dean returned to his room soon after their chat, when the baby had finished her bottle. Mary had easily fallen back to sleep once placed in her cradle, and Dean removed his pants and slid back into bed beside his Angel. Castiel stirred, groaning as he was nearly roused from sleep as Dean pressed up against him and held him close. He held tightly to the other man, running his cheek affectionate across Cas's shoulder.  
  
    "You listen here, baby," Dean murmured softly, "I'm gonna make you happy if it's the last thing I do..."  
  
    He tucked his head down against the Angel's back, closing his eyes. Castiel took a deep breath, relaxing back against the warm body behind him. Dean was surprised when the other man spoke sleepily in reply.  
  
    "I am happy... Dean..."  
  
    When Dean finally drifted off to sleep, he had a smile on his face.  
  
    ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    When the sun began to rise early the next morning, Dean stretched out across the bed as he began to wake. It was only seconds before he realized that the warmth of Castiel's body was not next to him. He blinked his eyes open, turning to see the Angel setting on the side of the bed. Dean pushed himself up on his elbow, reaching out to run a hand down the other man's bare back.  
  
    "Good morning," he mumbled, and Castiel turned to look at him. "How long you been up? You okay?"  
  
    Castiel's tired eyes narrowed as he looked down at Dean.  
  
    "I just woke up." he replied. "And I think I'm okay...it's just..." he shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sore... all over..."  
  
    Dean was suddenly wide awake and he sat up.  
  
    "Where?" he asked insistently, turning Cas to look at him. Castiel winced, bringing a hand to his belly.  
  
    "Here," he answered, before dropping his hand to run along his thigh. "And here... particularly right here," he added, touching his inner thigh.  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow, a sheepish grin coming to his face.  
  
    "Sorry," he said, leaning down to lay a kiss on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel looked down upon him.  
  
    "Why?" he asked, curiously. Dean shrugged, running his hand over the Angel's thigh, massaging the muscle gently.  
  
    "I should have went easy on you. You're human now... I just... I just couldn't help myself."  
  
    Castiel considered the words a moment before asking with hesitation.  
  
    "... this is what sex feels like afterward... for humans?" he asked. Dean gave a contemplative look.  
  
    "If you're not used to it... and it's a little... rough..." he said, amending. "or intense, I suppose, is a better word."  
  
    "I see," Castiel looked down to where Dean was still rubbing his thigh. Dean spoke, softly.  
  
    "Was last night good for you?" he asked, curiously. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Very much so." he answered. "Worth the inconvenience of a few muscle aches,"  
  
    "Is it better than... than before? When you had your Angel mojo?"  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed and he thought on the question before answering.  
  
    "It's different... I don't know how to explain but it is not "better". Every experience with you is immensely satisfying." he seemed to pause for a moment, as if an idea came to him that he never considered. "It... is satisfactory for you?" he asked. Dean grinned, happily.  
  
    "Oh baby," he murmured, dropping his head to lay another kiss on the Angel's shoulder. "And how."  
  
    Cas gave an embarrassed smile, reaching out to stroke Dean's hair. His expression softened and he stared at Dean, his voice low when he spoke.  
  
    "Dean," he began hesitantly. "I will never be able to adequately thank you for how much you have given to me. How much love and acceptance you have shown me," A soft pink tinge came to color Dean's face and he dropped his head to Castiel's shoulder. "I'm being sincere. You did not have to return my affection. You didn't have to make any promises or declarations. You have changed everything you know to be with... me."  
  
    Dean felt the heat on his face from such affectionate praise and gratitude. He ran the back of his hand tenderly over the Angel's bare arm.  
  
    "Cas," Dean spoke quietly, focusing on the other man's bare skin than looking up into his eyes. "It is not hard at all for me to love you," he told him, with equal candor. "You don't have to thank me. You... you've seen me at my worst, and yet you kept loving me. I should be thanking you."  
  
    "No, Dean," Cas tried to interrupt, but Dean reached up and pressed his fingertips to Castiel's lips.  
  
    "I'm not gonna lie," he said with a smile. "there was a bit of time when I didn't know if I could be with another guy," Cas's brow creased and Dean continued. "But that lasted about ten minutes after I knew that you were game. 'Cause frankly, you rock my world, Cas. And if you don't know that reference, it's a good thing. A good," he kissed him. "Good," and again. "thing." Dean brought a hand up to gently stoke Castiel's cheek. "I mean seriously, man," he shook his head. "You... If we didn't have a baby, I'd never leave this room."  
  
    Cas smiled, but the two were interrupted from further discussion by a soft knock on the door.  
  
    "Yeah?" Dean called, watching with a bit of disappointment as Cas pulled his pajama pants on. A soft voice called from outside in the hall.  
  
    "I'm sorry to wake you, Dean," Mrs. Winchester called. Dean sat up, pulling the sheet around himself even though he was not within her line of site.  
  
    "No problem mom," he replied, quickly pulling on his own pants and tossing the sheet up over the bed. He crossed to he door and opened it. "We were already awake. Just woke up."  
  
    Mary smiled up at him.  
  
    "Good. Bobby and I are going up to the market for a few things. Do you boys or the baby need anything?"  
  
    Dean looked back to Cas, who shook his head. Dean turned back to his mother.  
  
    "Pie," he smiled. Mary laughed, reaching out to give him an affectionate pat on the cheek.  
  
    "Okay," she replied. "I'll see what I can do."  
  
    Dean grinned happily, shutting the door and turning back to the Angel.  
  
    "I guess we should get dressed," he said with a sigh. "I'd suggest we share a shower to save time, but god knows we'd been in there twice as long."  
  
    Castiel looked slightly green by the comment.  
  
    "Yes... He would know."  
  
    Dean grimaced.  
  
    "I'll let you go first," he offered.  
  
    Castiel disappeared into the bathroom and Dean returned to the bed, pulling the sheets off in one tug, wadding them up and dropping them in the hamper. He made a mental note to get to the laundry before his mom. After picking up the baby and changing her diaper, he left the room for the kitchen. Jimmy was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of oatmeal and reading the paper.  
  
    "Morning," Dean greeted, crossing to the dishboard were the bottles sat.  
  
    "Good morning," Jimmy replied, setting the paper aside to give the new arrivals his attention. "Your mother is an amazing person, you know," he commented. "She made me breakfast before she left this morning, and she laundered my clothes last night."  
  
    "She is the best," Dean returned with a smile. "... the best."  
  
    "Makes me miss my own mom," Jimmy sighed, "I can't even imagine what she's been thinking these last couple years. I have no idea what Amelia has told her."  
  
    Dean gave the older man a sympathetic expression as he started the warm water running and added a scoop of formula to the bottle. Jimmy stood and crossed to the hunter.  
  
    "May I?" he asked, holding his hands out toward the baby. Dean smirked, handing his daughter over and he continued to fix the bottle. Once he was happy with the consistency and temperature of the formula, he handed the bottle to Jimmy and let the other man settle back in his chair and feed the baby her breakfast. Dean crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter, watching them. Jimmy turned to Dean. "Do you know if you two can do this again?" he asked. Dean's smile faltered slightly.  
  
    "Not unless Cas get's his Angel mojo back..." he said. "But, if he does, yeah. I think we’d wait a couple years, but... I'd like to have more. I want Mary to have a sibling."  
  
    "Is it just you and Sam?" Jimmy asked. Dean nodded.  
  
    "Yeah,"  
  
    Jimmy looked back down at the little baby in his arms.  
  
    "I'd always wanted a big family. Three or four kids..."  
  
    "Well tonight," Dean instructed. "Get to work."  
  
    Jimmy gave a self conscious laugh, shaking his head as a deep blush came to his face.  
  
    "It's not just my decision," he replied. "And who knows... if this "vessel" is anything like the last one." he shrugged. Dean mirrored the expression. "I'll see what I can do," he laughed.  
  
    "Good-" Dean paused, swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth. "Good." he repeated. "You got a second chance. Make the most of it."  
  
    "Good morning!" Sam announced, brushing his long, damp hair off of his face as he came into the room. He paused for a fraction of a second, looking to Jimmy and the baby as his brain worked out that it wasn't Cas. "I'm too late," he frowned. "Damn,"  
  
    "You can take her," Jimmy offered, clearly embarrassed that he was holding her to begin with.  
  
    Sam shook his head, dropping into the free chair beside him. "You... probably won't get to see her again... for a while."  
  
    Jimmy grimaced, and Dean shifted uncomfortably. There was silence a moment.  
  
    "It will be weird to go back to my old life," Jimmy commented absently, setting the bottle on the table and turning the baby over his shoulder. Dean moved in behind him and placed a cloth over his shoulder. "Thanks... It will be nice though. Quiet and demon free - I hope."  
  
    "We should take you in to town and get you inked." Dean suggested. Sam smiled at Jimmy's mortified expression.  
  
    "Or we can make some amulets for you and your family. I can do that this morning."  
  
    "Thank you," Jimmy replied with a smile. "I appreciate it. I know one thing about going back to my life - there will be a whole lot more salt, silver, and holy water laying around the Novak household."  
  
    "As it should be," Dean agreed. "Well, if you two can handle the little one, I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower."  
  
    Both bade him goodbye and Dean returned upstairs to room. The bedroom was empty and the bathroom door stood open, and Dean tilted his head to the side when he noticed Castiel stood unmoving in front of the sink, clad in nothing but a towel. His hands rested on the sides of the basin and his head was down, water dripping down his bare skin.  
  
    "Cas?" he asked, gently. The Angel looked up, looking expectantly to the hunter.  
  
    "Yes, Dean?" he replied. Dean grimaced.  
  
    "You okay?" Dean asked, coming to his side and running a hand over his warm arm. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Yes, I am now."  
  
    "Now?" Dean questioned, "You weren't before?"  
  
    Cas turned toward him, a odd expression of contemplation on his face.  
  
    "I was feeling apprehensive about facing Jimmy's spouse after what my presence has caused her family," he admitted, causing Dean's brow to crease in concern. "So I prayed for the strength to receive whatever censure that was due me for my actions, and for the compassion to understand what my actions caused this family." He smiled. "And I feel better now."  
  
    Dean smiled back, pulling Castiel into an embrace.  
  
    "I'll be your strength, Cas," he murmured against his ear. "Since you've been mine."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia looked up at the house as she approached, seeing her husband coming down the steps toward her. Tears stung her eyes and her hand rose to her mouth as she began to jog toward him, reaching out for him when he was only feet away.  
> "Jimmy?!" she cried, running into his arms. Jimmy didn't speak, holding her tightly and burying his face against her neck. "Oh, Jimmy..."  
> "Amelia," he spoke, his voice choked with emotion. He pulled away, brushing the hair from her face and looking into her eyes. "Ames... I've missed you so much,"  
> Amelia reached up and touched his face as well, gently, delicately, as if she had done it too many times in dreams that faded with daybreak. She gave a tearful laugh, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close. They were quiet, simply enjoying the moment of holding each other.  
> "I thought I'd never see you again," Amelia whispered. "Never..."  
> "I'm here now, Ames, really," Jimmy told her, squeezing her tight. "For good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy Novak is my fave. ^_^ I hope you all enjoy this. 
> 
> Oh, and this chapter has some smut. >_

    Sometime after nine thirty the next morning, Amelia called Sam's cell phone to tell Jimmy she had arrived in South Dakota and was starting out for Singer Salvage. She hadn’t been able to wait until morning, starting out in the middle of the night instead. The tension in the house was palpable, and Jimmy did a lot of pacing. Dean decided to kill to two birds with one stone and had the older man hold the baby while he paced, effectively putting the infant out for a late morning nap.  
  
    At twenty minutes to twelve, Sam moved to the window as the sound of tires on gravel could be heard. A dark blue Ford Focus with Illinois plates parked behind the Impala. He turned back to the room where all eyes were on him. He cleared his throat.  
  
    "It's Amelia," he said.  
  
    Jimmy paled slightly, handing the baby back to Dean and he walked toward the door.  
  
    "I... I'd just like a minute if that's okay?" he asked. No one had any problems with the request. Jimmy approached the door, taking a deep breath before stepping out onto the porch.  
  
    Amelia looked up at the house as she approached, seeing her husband coming down the steps toward her. The last time she had seen his face, it was the cold and distant countenance of the Angel Castiel looking back at her. But this man, who was now quickening his stride toward her, was undoubtedly the young man she married nearly seventeen years ago. Tears stung her eyes and her hand rose to her mouth as she began to jog toward him, reaching out for him when he was only feet away.  
  
    "Jimmy?!" she cried, running into his arms. Jimmy didn't speak, holding her tightly and burying his face against her neck. "Oh, Jimmy..."  
      
    "Amelia," he spoke, his voice choked with emotion. He pulled away, brushing the hair from her face and looking into her eyes. "Ames... I've missed you so much,"  
  
    Amelia reached up and touched his face as well, gently, delicately, as if she had done it too many times in dreams that faded with daybreak. She gave a tearful laugh, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close. They were quiet, simply enjoying the moment of holding each other.  
  
    "I thought I'd never see you again," Amelia whispered. "Never..."  
  
    "I'm here now, Ames, really," Jimmy told her, squeezing her tight. "For good."  
  
    Amelia pulled away, rummaging in her pocket for a tissue that wasn't already cried though. She located one, using it to wipe her husband's tears before drying her own.  
  
    "What... what about the Angel... Castiel?" she asked hesitantly. "What if he wants to come back?"  
  
    Jimmy shook his head, taking her hands in his.  
  
    "He won't. He won't, I promise." he told her, sniffing back his tears, his expression turning serious. "Look, Amelia, we need to talk a moment. There are some... circumstances that I need to explain."  
  
    "Like what?" she asked, shaking her head. "I just want you to come home with us."  
  
    "And I will," he assured her, leading her to the porch and pulling her down onto the stairs at his side. "I will, but... listen... I know that you know that Angels and Demons are real, but that's not as unbelievable as it gets."  
  
    "You're kidding?" she asked, turning on the step she sat on so she could face him. Her hands never left his. "What else could there be?"  
  
    "Well," Jimmy took a deep breath, looking down at their clasped hands. "Angels aren't the sweet, winged cherubs we think of them as," he began, giving an amused and slightly bitter laugh. "They're soldiers. Warriors of Heaven. And Castiel was a warrior... but he began to question some of the orders."  
  
    "He questioned god?" she asked, incredulous. Jimmy shrugged.  
  
    "God wasn't giving the orders," he explained. "That night, the last night I saw you, Castiel wasn't with me because he had been ordered back to heaven to be punished for his disobedience. So much has happened since then... Cas fell,"  
  
    "Fell?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. Jimmy nodded, gravely.  
  
    "He wanted to protect earth, while most of the other angels wanted an apocalypse to destroy this planet so they wouldn't have to watch over it any more. And Cas he... he was in love with humanity. With..." he blushed, shaking his head and focusing on their hands. "Well, with a human."  
  
    Jimmy felt his wife's hands go still. Amelia was quiet for a long moment.  
  
    "In love?" she asked. Jimmy sighed.  
  
    "He fell in love with a human."  
  
    Amelia's brows pinched together.  
  
    "In your body?" she asked, stunned. Jimmy gently rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand.  
  
    "Ames..." he began gently. "Through some of the events - very dangerous events - that Castiel and the Winchester boys fought through, Castiel was in a dangerous battle. It devastated him, but it... it destroyed me." He looked up into his wife's confused face. "I died, Amelia. I died. And I went to heaven."  
  
    Amelia recoiled slightly, shaking her head in disbelief.  
  
    "But, you're here," she stressed. Jimmy took a deep breath. "If you died-"  
  
    "I died," he repeated. "...Castiel didn't. His being, whatever his 'essence' is, was still alive or was protected.... But I was in heaven, Ames. That is very important and I need you to understand that."  
  
    Amelia nodded, slowly.  
  
    "How... how did you come back to your body then? Why... why would you leave heaven?"  
  
    Jimmy considered her questions a second, forming his reply in his mind.  
  
    "Castiel was still here, amongst humans. Fighting side by side with Dean and Sam. The person he put his love and faith in gave it back to him and... and together they kept some pretty bad stuff from happening." he smiled, "True love conquers all, right?"  
  
    "I'm sorry, Jimmy," she interrupted. "But this Angel... used your body?"  
  
    Jimmy shook his head.  
  
    "I gave myself fully to him in exchange for saving you and Claire. And it was worth it. To see you again. To have this chance to see you again." he pulled her closer, speaking firmly. "Yes, Castiel used the vessel of Jimmy Novak to live his life. And that's okay, because I was in heaven. But, I was given the chance to come back. Given a new vessel. Given a second chance."  
  
    Amelia looked more confused than ever.  
  
    "A new... what?"  
  
    Jimmy's expression softened with compassion.  
  
    "Castiel is still on earth, living a life with... with his family. But he regretted that I lost my life and my chance to live it with you and Claire. So, I was brought back." He watched the myriad of emotions that flickered behind his wife's beautiful grey-blue eyes. "Amelia," he whispered in earnest. "It's okay. Please don't be mad at him. Don't be mad at me. These are just circumstances. Just... just don't let this come between us."  
  
    "Of course not, Jimmy," she agreed. "It's.. it's fine, it's okay," her eyes traveled over her husband, not one inch of skin giving any indication that the man before her was not the boy she met in middle school. She couldn't really care _how_ he was sitting there with her, just so long as he was.  
  
    "Good," he brought a hand to her cheek, pulling her to him and kissing her gently. Amelia closed her eyes, closing her fists into the front of his shirt and holding on to him as the tears fell anew. Jimmy smiled, rising to his feet and helping his wife to hers. "Just bear in mind," he told her as they approached the front door. "Most of what we thought we knew about the hereafter, was pretty much wrong."  
  
    Amelia looked bewildered by the comment, but let him lead her into the house. She immediately recognized the two Winchesters, but there was a woman and a man she had never laid eyes on before. However, it was the man at the far end of the room, standing by the staircase, that had her undivided attention.  
  
    "Castiel," she spoke in a hushed whisper. The Angel nodded, slowly taking a step toward her.  
  
    "Hello, Amelia," he spoke, his voice a pitch that she had never heard from her husband's lips. But, he didn't really look like her husband, but more like she was seeing someone a branch over on his family tree, the way that he looked the last time she saw him. She stared at him in silence for a few moments before tearing her eyes from his face, dropping her gaze to the infant in his arms. "This... is Mary," he told her, looking down at the baby as well.  
  
    Amelia looked back to Jimmy, the shock in her eyes plainly evident. Jimmy smiled gently.  
  
    "I'm happy for them, Ames," he told her. "You and I both know that this is a gift."  
  
    Amelia turned back to the Angel, her eyes moving to Mrs. Winchester. Her gaze only settled on the older women for a fraction of a second before moving on to the woman's oldest son. Amelia's voice was quiet, but sincere when she spoke.  
  
    "Congratulations, Dean."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After the initial shock wore off, Jimmy introduced Amelia to those present she had not yet met. No one asked how she had come to the conclusion about Dean. Castiel attempted to apologize, but she waved him off.  
  
    "I have my husband back," she explained to him. "That's all that matters now."  
  
    Mrs. Winchester made lunch for the group, and Sam and Dean gave the reader's digest version of how things had unfolded since their last visit to Pontiac. Once they were through, Amelia told her side.  
  
    "Well, we went home right after," she began, looking down at where her hand was clasped between her husbands. "Joan and Roger were gone...”  
  
    "I didn't cut him deep," Dean broke in quickly. "Did he make it?"  
  
    Amelia nodded.  
  
    "Yeah," she replied, taking a deep breath. "But they had called the police, so when I got there, we had to talk to the officers at the house.” Jimmy tightened his grip on her hands, whispering her name as she continued. "I told them that someone had broken in, and when Roger came over to check on us, he was attacked. Same for Joan." she glanced to Castiel, but turned back to Dean. "I told them that the intruder took Claire and me, but we escaped in their car. Since Roger and Joan couldn't remember much, they went along with it..."  
  
    "Did they ask about Jimmy?" Sam asked her. Amelia nodded once again.  
  
    "I told the police the same thing that I'd been telling our parent's and friends, that Jimmy was having a spiritual crisis and he went to a Christian retreat. They didn't seem to care, since Roger confirmed that he had left the year before. I told them that we spoke once a month, and I had some restaurant receipts to show that you had been in Montreal the month before."  
  
    The group turned to Castiel.  
  
    "It was only coffee," he explained, defensively.  
  
    "We'll pay you back," Dean said quickly, his expression turning serious as he continued. "We owe you so much."  
  
    Amelia shook her head, turning to her husband.  
  
    "No," she told him, her tone even. "Jimmy was chosen for a reason, by a higher power than Castiel. And because of you two and Castiel, the world has been saved for my daughter." she looked over at the Angel. "That's worth two or three cups of coffee, I think."  
  
    "Thank you, Amelia," Castiel replied solemnly. "You are a noble woman."  
  
    "No, I'm selfish," she sighed. "I just want my husband and my daughter to be safe."  
  
    "Doesn't sound selfish to me," Sam told her. He reached into the pocket of his shirt, and pulled out three metal amulets on leather cords. "Here, I made these for you."  
  
    "What are they?" she asked, examining the starburst pentagram symbol. Sam smiled.  
  
    "Protection. From demons. While you're wearing them, demons won't be able to inhabit your body."  
  
    Amelia examined the odd symbol more closely before she looked back up to the young hunter.  
  
    "Where is yours?" she asked. Sam pulled back the collar of his shirt, revealing the tattoo on his skin. When Amelia turned to Dean, he did the same. She took a deep breath.  
  
    "That's more foolproof," she observed, giving a firm nod of decision. "That's what we'll do too,"  
  
    "Amelia," Jimmy began, but his wife raised her hand, silencing him.  
  
    "I'm not taking chances with our family, Jim," she told him. "I want to feel safe that you are who you are. I've... I've had a demon inside me," her voice faltered, but she continued firmly. "I don't ever want that to happen to you or Claire. A tattoo can't be broken or removed or lost." she turned back to Sam, who seemed to have earned her trust the most. She remembered how helpful he had been the last time. "Does it have to be that big?"  
  
    Sam shook his head, pushing back his hair.  
  
    "No. Just big enough to be clear and distinct."  
  
    She nodded.  
  
    "Good. We'll get them before we leave, if you don't mind coming with us?"  
  
    "No problem," Sam agreed with a smile. "How long are you staying in town?"  
  
    "I thought we would go back tomorrow," Amelia replied. "I booked a room for the night at the Sioux Falls Sheraton."  
  
    Sam looked to his watch.  
  
    "We should go now," he told them, rising. "It can take a couple hours."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Five hours later, as the sun was starting to sink in the sky, Sam and the Novaks returned to the Singer home. Both seemed to have taken the recent inking with a brave face, but were gingerly moving when it came to sitting or standing back up, as both had opted to have the tattoo etched just above their hip instead of the prominent spot Sam and Dean had chosen. Although the tattoos were expected, what they weren't expecting when the trio returned, was that they had purchased gifts while they were out.  
  
    "We can't accept this," Dean stammered, refusing the bag that Jimmy handed out to him.  
  
    "Oh, come on," Jimmy goaded him. "It's not really for you anyway. Please, take it. It's the least we can do,"  
  
    Dean grimaced.  
  
    "I don't think you get how reciprocation works," he said sternly. "You let an Angel wear you as a meat suit for almost two years. You deserve your life back. You don't owe us a thing,"  
  
    "Maybe you don't understand how gifts work," Amelia replied, taking the bag from Jimmy and handing it to Dean with a no-nonsense expression. "The recipient doesn't get a say."  
  
    Dean grimaced and blushed, taking the bag from the woman and handing it to Cas. Castiel peered down into it, before reaching inside. Nestled in the tissue paper were an assortment of sweet little baby dresses and jumpers.  
  
    "Thank you," Castiel spoke quietly. "You are too kind,"  
  
    "You're welcome," Jimmy answered. “They grow so fast, so I’m not sure how long you can use them.”  
  
    Dean mumbled a self-conscious ‘thank you’ as well, and Mrs. Winchester called everyone in to the dining room to eat.  
  
    After dinner, everyone gathered on the porch to bid the the Novak's farewell. Jimmy carried the baby until they stepped outside, handing her over to Cas.  
  
    "Keep in touch, okay?" Dean instructed, shaking Jimmy’s hand.  
  
    “Absolutely,” Jimmy agreed. "I may need advice on demons or something,"  
  
    "No hunting," Dean warned. "Either of you. Stay in the suburbs.... but definitely keep in touch."  
  
    Amelia turned to look up at them after descending the steps to the front walk.  
  
    "Thank you again," she said to them. "For everything."  
  
    Hand in hand, Jimmy and Amelia walked to the car, parting at the last minute to get inside. The group on the porch waved, watching the car pull from the drive and move out of sight before they returned inside. Oddly enough, the house seemed emptier without them. Bobby had a fleeting thought about how lonely it would be once Cas and Dean moved out with their baby girl.  
  
    After saying good night to each other, Dean followed Cas up to bed, carrying his sleeping baby daughter with him.  
  
    "Well, this has been a long day," Dean sighed, laying the baby on the bed and gently undressing her. Castiel sat the bag of baby clothes on the dresser and found a pair of pajamas for the infant, taking them to Dean. He watched the younger man re-dress the little girl, leaning over her to gently kiss her face before he picked her up. Cas was frowning when Dean turned back from the cradle. He raised an eyebrow. "What's on your mind?" he asked the Angel.  
  
    Castiel shook his head, folding his arms over his chest.  
  
    "Humans... are complicated," he observed, following Dean into the tiny bathroom. Dean gave an amused chuckle.  
  
    “They are, huh?” he said, squeezing toothpaste out onto the toothbrush Cas held out to him. “Any particular reason behind the observation?”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment, thoughtfully brushing his teeth as he considered the question. Dean watched him in the mirror, and Cas rinsed his mouth before speaking.  
  
    “You’re very adaptable,” he said, “When I think of everything you and your bother have been through... all of the things that your mother has been through... and you all simply accept your circumstances and continue to thrive. Having Mary, for instance,” he continued, leaning against the sink as Dean washed up. “I can’t imagine a more unexpected event, and you have taken to parenthood so naturally, with so much determination.”  
  
    “Kind of don’t have a choice,” Dean shrugged. “Besides, Mary is easy to accept.”  
  
    Castiel smiled at the sentiment.  
  
    “Jimmy and Amelia Novak were also very accepting,” he said. “Their kindness only compounds my feeling of shame. I know Jimmy is a good man, but I didn’t expect such generosity.”  
  
    “He’s a pretty good guy, I’ll agree.” Dean said, snapping off the bathroom light. Castiel followed him back into the bedroom, watching Dean turn back the sheets on the bed. “I got to talk to him a bit, when he wasn’t pacing a rut in the living room floor. That dude certainly knows how to adapt. But hey, you’re doing pretty good at adapting yourself, you know.”  
  
    Castiel looked up at Dean as the taller man came to stand in front of him.  
  
    “Do you really think so?” Cas asked.  
  
    "Yep," Dean replied, bringing his hands up to Cas's arms, running his fingers over the Angel's biceps. "You’re doing a great job handling all this human business. Getting the hang of it pretty well. A-plus adaptation.”  
  
    “Sam helped me,” the Angel admitted, sighing heavily. “I didn’t realize how many intricacies there are to the human routine. I am trying my best, though. I want to fit in .... I want to please you.”  
  
    “Geeze, Cas,” Dean said, “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. I’m easy to please,” he gave the other man a soft pat on the cheek. “You'll get your Angel juice back one of these days, and you'll feel better. No more annoying human ‘intricacies’."  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before he replied.  
  
    "I... I don't think I need to be an Angel anymore," he admitted, much to Dean's surprise. Cas sighed. "I don't... I want to be human - like you and Mary... I... I want to live with you... I want to grow old with you..." he paused for a minute before finishing. "Even though it is tedious and depressing."  
  
    Dean laughed, even though he was touched by the sentiment. He brought his hands up to Castiel's face, kissing him deeply. A warm, contented feeling spread through him. Every now and then, when he actually thought about it, the idea that he was getting this life - this beautiful, happy life - was too good to be true. When he looked at Castiel, and knew that this was the person he was getting to share that life with, he couldn't remember why he ever had a problem with Cas being a man. He couldn't imagine having this life with anyone else.  
  
    Dean slipped his arms around the Angel's neck, leaning his body into the other man's as Cas wrapped his arms around his waist. They kissed each other slowly, enjoying the sensual intimacy of the act. Dean pulled away, licking his lips as his gazed moved from Castiel's eyes to his lips and back.  
  
    "Why, uh," he began, a light blush rising to his skin. "Why don't you take me to bed," Castiel's brow creased, but before he could question, Dean spoke again - slowly. "Why don't you take me... to bed."  
  
    Understanding dawned in Castiel's blue eyes and he nodded, leaning back in to capture Dean's lips. As they moved back toward the bed, they helped the other remove each piece of clothing keeping skin from skin. Dean sighed heavily, letting Castiel take the lead and reveling in the sensation as the Angel's lips moved to travel over his jaw and throat, tasting each inch of flesh. Cas continued his attention down the hunter's chest and abdomen as he sank to his knees, working the fastenings of Dean's blue jeans and dragging the fabric down his strong legs. Dean chuckled as the Angel stripped each sock away after divesting him of the jeans, but his smile faded as the older man dropped his head and lay gentle kisses on his thighs.  
  
    "Cas," Dean breathed, running his fingers through the Angel's soft, wavy hair. Castiel moaned softly at the hunter's touch, the sound vibrating against Dean's nerves and sending a electric jolt directly through his groin. "Cas," he said again, and his plea did not go unnoticed.  
  
    Castiel stood, looking down upon the younger man with desire in his eyes and he undid the closure of his pants. Dean kept his eyes on Castiel's as he pushed himself back on the bed, reaching out for the Angel as Cas moved to lay over him. Dean closed his eyes, driving his hips up against his companions, groaning as his erection slid along Castiel's. Cas returned the motion, slowly rocking his body against Dean's as he brought his lips to cover the hunter's.  
  
    As they moved together, kissing lazily, hands roaming over bare flesh, Dean could feel the heat of embarrassment rising to his face as he realized that "ache" Castiel had mentioned last time they were intimate was pulsing in his own body. He wanted Cas inside of him, to feel the Angel's slick and hardened shaft press into him, to touch him deep.  
  
    "Come on, babe," Dean moaned. Castiel gave him another deep kiss before pulling away, and Dean sighed, running his hands through his hair as he watched the Angel stroke the clear lubricant over his erection. Cas leaned back over the younger man, letting Dean cup his face in his hands and kiss him. Castiel slid his left arm up under Dean's shoulder, resting his weight on his forearm as he took hold of his shaft with his free hand. His eyes were closed as he kissed his companion, relying on nothing but memory and touch to bring the sensitive head of his shaft to Dean's entrance. Dean groaned, feeling the slick, steely flesh of Castiel's erection sliding against his opening, spreading the lubricant before seeking entrance. Dean tilted his hips to meet the Angel's advance, moaning with satisfaction as the pressure of their joining bodies filled him. Castiel slid in deep, pulling away almost immediately before filling him again. Dean gasped, rocking back against the Angel's long, purposeful thrusts.  
  
    "Dean," Castiel breathed, kissing across the hunter's jaw and running his tongue over the curve of his ear. His next words were spoken with almost reverence. "Dean... it is incredible... how you feel... inside..."  
  
    Dean gasped, the tone of the Angel's voice combined with the intimately erotic statement caused a pulse of pleasure to bloom in his belly and tighten the straining pressure beneath his shaft. Dean slid his hands down the hard planes of the Angel's back and gripped the tense flesh of his glutes. Dean could feel muscle beneath his palms flexing with each thrust, and he pulled him closer as he moved back against the older man with increased urgency.  
  
    The quiet of the room was punctuated by panting breath and flesh meeting flesh. Dean dropped his head to the pillow, closing his eyes and biting his lip as he let the sensation overtake him. Castiel seemed to have already committed to memory how deep and at what angle to move inside of him in order to stroke the fire smoldering within. And it was not just the physical sensation, but the love and emotion felt by the Angel was palpable.  
  
    "Oh, Cas," Dean breathed, feeling his approaching release. The Angel moaned his name in reply, moving with purpose to bring Dean to his end. He leaned up on his forearms, looking down into Dean's face. The hunter looked back up into Castiel's deep blue eyes, a never before experienced level of vulnerability overwhelming him as Castiel watched the emotion in the young man's face as he stroked inside of him. Dean's felt his throat constrict and his thighs began to tremble. "I love you, Cas," he spoke, brokenly. "I - _uhn_..."  
  
    Castiel kissed Dean's face, showering him with affection as he felt his companion reach his release. He loved this man so much, more than he would have ever thought possible. He was so happy to spend the rest of his life with him, this human life full of love, of family, of raising their child. Castiel grunted, his movements faltering as his body tensed, his orgasm washing through him and into his lover's warmth. Dean's hands were on his face again, and they were kissing each other softly as Castiel moved to lay at his side.  
  
    Dean sighed, relaxing into the mattress but keeping his fingers entwined with Cas's. He shook his head, swallowing hard.  
  
    "You're gettin' too good at this, buddy," he murmured, taking a deep breath. "Really..."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed, and he leaned onto his arm to look down at Dean.  
  
    "How is that possible?" he asked. Dean gave a tired laugh.  
  
    "I don't know, babe," he admitted, running his cheek against Castiel's shoulder, moving in closer to the Angel's chest. "But you get it done." he gave a heavy exhale, trying to get his breathing to settle. Castiel wrapped his arms around the hunter, and they lay quietly together. Castiel felt the younger man give a small huff of laughter, and he tilted his head to see if he could see the other man's expression.  
  
    "... Dean?" he asked, curiously. Dean sighed, stretching out and folding his hands behind his head.  
  
    "It's nothing," he admitted, shaking his head, but there was a grin on his face. "I just never realized that when you walked into my life three years ago, that this is where we'd end up."  
  
    Castiel tilted his head to the side, and there was a slight smile on his lips.  
  
    "That _is_ amusing," he agreed, running his hand over Dean’s arm. "But, it wasn't long before this was where I was hoping we'd end up."  
  
    "I shoulda' came to my senses sooner," Dean grumbled, returning to his position against Cas's chest.  
  
    "Our journey brought us to where we are," Castiel spoke calmly, his fingers stroking softly along Dean's back. "I wouldn't change a thing... you were worth the wait."  
  
    Dean blushed, letting Cas pull him in closer and hold him tight. It didn't matter that he wasn't an Angel anymore; Dean felt safe and loved in his arms. An nothing mattered anymore except this feeling, except this new life. But a small voice in the back of his mind persisted in asking him... was this all too good to be true?  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
    When Dean and Cas woke the next morning at just before dawn, there was a scramble to untangle limbs and jump out of bed to answer to the insistent cries of their baby daughter. Castiel, whose side of the bed was closest to the cradle, hit the floor first and stumbled slightly in the darkness as he pulled on his pants before reaching the child. Dean snapped on the lamp, watching the older man gently lift the flailing, angry infant into his arms.  
  
    "There, there," Castiel murmured, tucking the baby into the crook of his arm as he tried to soothe her with his words.  
  
    "This is late for her," Dean commented, rubbing his tired eyes. "She should have woken up nearly three hours ago."  
  
    "I'll feed her," Cas told him, tucking a blanket around the baby as he crossed the room. "Go back to sleep."  
  
    "You sure?" Dean asked. Making baby formula wasn't the Angel's strongest skill.  
  
    "Yes, Dean," he said with a smile. "Sleep."  
  
    Dean shrugged, pulling the sheets back around himself as he spread out into the space Cas had vacated. Castiel made his way down to the kitchen as quietly as he could with the fussing baby, padding softly across the hardwood floor and not turning on a light until he reached the kitchen. He snapped on the task lamp above the sink, turning to the small basket Bobby had bought that held nothing but baby dishes.  
  
    "She alright?"  
  
    Castiel turned to Sam's voice as the younger man shuffled into the room, running a hand through his sleep-disheveled hair.  
  
    "Yes, she's just hungry," the Angel replied. "She slept past her one a.m. feeding, and I'm afraid so did Dean and I."  
      
    "That's probably a good thing," Sam remarked, taking the baby from her father's arms as Cas moved on to make the bottle. "Maybe this means she's getting closer to sleeping through the night.  Ugh, that's a thought..."  
  
    Castiel frowned, looking over at Sam as added a scoop of formula powder to the bottle.  
  
    "What do you mean?"  
  
    Sam sighed, settling down on one of the kitchen chairs.  
  
    "First she was newborn, now she's trying to sleep through the night, next thing we know - she'll be starting kindergarten. Then junior high. Then high school! Then going off to college, getting married..." his words trailed off as he looked up at the concerned look on Castiel's face. "I mean, that's a really, really a long way off." he added quickly. Castiel took the seat to his side, taking Mary back from her uncle and encouraging her to eat.  
  
    "I know," Cas replied. "But I get what you mean... the relative timeframe will make it seem like a heartbeat. Why... wasn't it just a short time ago that we shook hands for the first time?" Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair. Yeah, that seemed like just yesterday - and yet so long ago. Castiel continued. "And since Mary is likely to be an only child, that feeling may be compounded."  
  
    "Hey," Sam spoke comfortingly. "You don't know that." Castiel shrugged. Sam was quiet a moment before he spoke. "Having one child is a blessing. Having any size family is a blessing."  
  
    "I know that Sam," he assured him. He turned his eyes to the ceiling as the sound of water coming on upstairs could be heard. "I am not unaware of how blessed I am to have your brother and our daughter. That ever second is precious... and fleeting, and so very, very worth it," he sighed, looking down at his child before turning his eyes to the younger Winchester brother. "If I had one prayer that I was certain would be answered, it would be that you would find a similar happiness."  
  
    Sam smiled tightly, but couldn't respond. He had a similar wish.  
  
    "Thanks Cas," he said, rising from his chair. He reached out to tousle the older man's already disheveled hair. "I'm going back to bed. Get some more sleep."  
  
    Castiel watched him go, sighing heavily once he was alone. Being a human was certainly hard. Things were so uncertain and unfair. He just wanted his family to be happy. His whole family, including Bobby and Mary and Sam.  
  
    When the baby was halfway through her bottle, Castiel was joined in the kitchen by Dean. The younger man was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, his hair still damp from his recent shower. He kissed Castiel on the top of the head on his way past to the coffee maker.  
  
    "I thought you were going back to bed?" Cas asked him. Dean smiled, shrugging.  
  
    "No point staying in bed when you're not there."  
  
    Castiel smiled, looked back down at the baby as Dean started the coffee brewing. The hunter came up behind him, looking down over Cas's shoulder at the baby. He leaned down, running a hand gently over her hair before slipping his arm around the Angel's chest, hugging him. In Dean's mind, he couldn't have asked for a better way to start the day.  
  
    As the sun began to rise, and the household began to wake, Castiel turned Mary's care over to her father so that he could take his own shower. Mrs. Winchester made breakfast for everyone - a feast of eggs, ham, potato hash and toast - and the group gathered around the table together talking happily, mostly about the baby.  
  
    At noon, Bobby brought in the mail, calling to Dean as he flipped through the ads and envelopes.  
  
    "Something for you kid," he announced, holding out a long while envelope. "From the Bureau."  
  
    Dean's eyebrows raised in interest and he stood from his seat on the sofa, opening the envelope, fully aware of the eyes on him. There were two pieces of paper inside, which he read quickly. A shy, happy smile spread over his face as he looked back up to his family.  
  
    "My welcome letter," he explained, "telling me when I start, about training, where to report...and, uh, " he handed the papers to his brother, setting back down next to Cas. "My signing bonus."  
  
    "Holy sh-" Sam exclaimed, turning to his brother in disbelief. "What?! Are you serious." he handed the papers to Castiel, who had reached out in silent request to see. "Dean that's.... that's amazing!"  
  
    Dean leaned back on the couch, running his hands over his face and through his hair.  
  
    "You're telling me," he replied. Castiel turned to him.  
  
    "Is this.. a lot of money?" he asked. Sam answered before Dean could make an attempt.  
  
    "Yes, that's a lot of money!" he informed the Angel. "Dean, how did you get this much for signing on?"  
  
    Dean shrugged, resting his arm across the back of the sofa.  
      
    "It was so much a year," he began, "and you could sign up to a five year contract. So, I thought, what the hell? This is a great opportunity, I got nothing to lose and quite a chunk of change to gain." he glanced to Castiel before turning back to Sam. "That's definitely enough to put first and last month down on an apartment or a small house."  
  
    "And not only that,” Sam continued. “But to furnish it, and still have some leftover to save. I'm so happy for you Dean," Sam stated, a smile on his face. He added quickly as he realized. "You're going to need to get a bank account!"  
  
    "Wanna go with me today to do that?" Dean asked. Sam shook his head eagerly. "Well, let's get on it."  
  
    "Dean," Castiel's voice caused the hunter to pause after he rose. The Angel had a look of concern on his face, holding the letter in his hand. "This says you have to go away for six weeks of training..."  
  
    Dean gave a cursory look around the room at his family before looking back to Cas.  
  
    "I know," he answered, taking the papers back from the other man's hand. "Hopefully the training will be in California and it won't be like I'm going away. It's all good."  
  
    Castiel nodded, but Dean had a feeling they would be discussing this more in depth later. Ah, domesticity.... he couldn't say he was opposed to it.  
  
    Dean and Sam left shortly thereafter, driving to a large bank chain and setting up a bank account in Dean's name. As he signed the appropriate paperwork and received some of his money up-front in cash, he spoke hesitantly to the bank agent.  
  
    "I'm, uh, getting married soon," he told the young woman, taking the envelope and debit card she gave him, putting them inside his jacket pocket. He could see Sam turn to him. "What do I need to add someone to my account?"  
  
    The girl smiled, taking a card from inside the desk drawer and passing it to him.  
  
    "Just bring her by the bank," she explained. "She'll need a government issued photo ID. We'll have her fill out a signature card like the one you did today, and that will be it."  
  
    Dean smiled uneasily.  
  
    "That simple, huh." he commented. "Thanks."  
  
    The brothers left the bank in silence, neither speaking until shutting the doors of the Impala. Sam turned to his brother.  
  
    "Marriage?" he asked. Dean sighed, taking the money out of the bank envelop and putting it in his wallet.  
  
    "You surprised?" Dean asked. "You think we were just gonna play house or something?"  
  
    "No," Sam insisted, shaking his head. "I just... It's just weird to hear you say it. I mean... 'marriage'... you and Cas... married..." he smiled. "I think it's awesome, really."  
  
    Dean nodded, settling back in his seat. He was quiet a moment before speaking.  
  
    "Do you think I'm trapped in some sort of Djinn fantasy world?" he asked, concerned. "Like, this... I mean, c'mon Sammy. Love, kid, money, job... Doesn't it seem too good to be true?"  
  
    Sam considered his brother's words for a moment. He could see how he could feel that way, but Sam knew something he didn't: that in Dean's fantasy life, he would want his brother happy. And he was - for Dean - but he was also jealous and sad for himself.  
  
    "This is real, Dean," he assured him. "In your fantasy world, Cas wouldn't be human and cut off from Heaven, because you wouldn't want that for him. And mom and dad... well...."  
  
    Dean frowned, shaking his head.  
  
    "Yeah... that..."  
  
    Since John Winchester had vacated the Singer home, no one had mentioned the fight that went down between him and Bobby - or between him and Mary. Mary had been livid when she learned of how John had spent the insurance money on hunting supplies and information instead of providing a stable home life of love and support for her children. Neither of them were sure if she had spoken to their father since. But, she seemed happy and didn't bring it up...so neither did they.  
  
    "Hey Sammy," Dean spoke, a nervous grin coming to his face. "Will you, uh, do me a favor?"  
  
    Sam grinned back, in spite of himself, raising an eyebrow in question.  
  
    "Yeah?" he replied, turning slightly to listen to what his brother was about to ask. Dean shook his head, sighing a bit.  
  
    "Well, money's been tight lately, and I've been trying to focus on the things we need versus things we might want, you know?" he began, rubbing the back of his neck. "But, now that I got some extra cash, I'd kinda like to ... you know... get Cas out of the house for a bit..."  
  
    "Like a date?" Same smiled. Dean rolled his eyes.  
  
    "He doesn't get out much, at home taking care of Mary..."  
  
    Sam's grin widened.  
  
    "You want me to watch Mary for a night so you can take Cas out on a date?" he clarified, watching his brother frown.  
  
    "So, will you?" Dean asked. Sam laughed.  
  
    "Of course I will." he answered. Dean started the Impala.  
  
    "Thanks," he replied, without looking to his brother's broad smile. "And stop looking at me like that."  
  
     Sam laughed, turning his eyes to the road ahead. Yeah, he was happy for Dean. So happy. It was almost worth the pain in his heart.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel's brow furrowed as he too scrutinized the online photos of the condo.  
> "... this won't work," he spoke, looking to the brothers. "It's... very small."  
> "It's a condo, Cas," Dean explained. "It's not like a house. It's like an apartment... on growth hormone." Castiel didn't look as though that clarified anything. "What's the trouble?" Dean asked. Castiel looked back to the listing.  
> "If it is only two bedrooms... and one is ours and one is Mary's..." he seemed confused, as if the question was odd to ask. "... where will Sam sleep?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is a little short. It was supposed to be part of chapter 12, but that made 12 too long. I hope you enjoy. Soon, there will be a wedding! *throws glitter* Kind of, sort of wedding. :)

    That evening, Dean and Castiel left their daughter in the capable hands of her uncle and drove half an hour to the closest area of the city that had something akin to fine dining. Dean actually felt slightly giddy, dressed in slacks and a button down shirt, his first real 'date' of his adult life that he could remember. Every other outing he'd had with someone else was being picked-up in a bar or the like and a one-night stand to finish it off. But this, even if it was a tad behind schedule, was a proper date. Cas was dressed slightly more dressy than usual, but not enough to be formal; dark blue slacks, a white collared shirt and a thin, grey sweater that seemed to make his eyes even more blue than usual. Dean thought he was adorable.  
  
    Once seated in the restaurant, Dean ordered two glasses of white wine and they read the menu in silence. Finally, once the waiter had taken their order, Dean leaned across the table to his Angel.  
  
    "So, Cas," he began, with a warm smile. "tell me something about yourself that I don't know."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed as he considered the question.  
  
    "I think you know everything about me, Dean," he replied, taking a sip from the water glass nearest him. "I'm an open book."  
  
    "Really?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well... how old are you?"  
  
    Castiel looked thoughtful a moment.  
  
    "I believe that my father created me more than twenty-one thousand of what you would consider years." he replied. Dean choked into his wine, lifting the glass as if in a toast.  
  
    "You cradle robber," he laughed, wiping his mouth on a napkin. Castiel looked confused.  
  
    "That is not a literal reference, correct?" he asked. Dean smiled, shaking his head.  
  
    "No," he replied. "So, tell me what you did for fun in your spare time - you know - upstairs."  
  
    "In Heaven?" Castiel asked. Dean nodded. The Angel thought a moment. A soft, happy expression of reminiscence crossed his face before he spoke. "Our job was the watch over creation, so a lot of our day was trying to manage the little dangers that were not in proper time."  
  
    "Not on Death's list?" Dean guessed. Castiel nodded and moved on.  
  
    "Angels do not have 'spare time', as humans know it. But, in the moments between specific corrections and just watchfulness, we took the time to have fellowship together - to pray and to sing." Dean's eyebrows raised.  
  
    "You sing?"  
  
    Castiel's face flushed a light pink and he dropped his eyes from Dean's gaze.  
  
    "All Angels sing, Dean," he spoke quietly. Dean grinned at Cas's modesty.  
  
    "Well, I've never heard you sing," he replied. "Why not?"  
  
    Castiel shifted, his hand rising to the top button of his shirt.  
  
    "This vessel..." he began, self-consciously. "It is difficult to find a register in the vocal chords that is complimentary to how my voice generates in this form."  
  
    Dean smiled, taking another drink of his wine.  
  
    "Blowing out windows and mirrors?" he asked. Castiel shook his head, his smile shy.  
  
    "Not that bad," he admitted. "But... not good, either,"  
  
    "I think your exaggerating," Dean told him. Castiel shrugged.  
  
    "What do you do for fun, Dean?" he asked, clasping his hands in his lap to keep them still. Dean took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair.  
  
    "I don't know," he answered honestly. "I guess I like to ... watch movies... I like to read - as long as the book is interesting - I like to listen to music and take naps." he considered a moment before adding. "I like to watch sports sometimes. But... I never had much time to do any of that, except listen to music. I can do that while driving. I haven't read or watched movies much since Sammy was little. Every now and then I’ve caught part of a movie on TV when we’d crash at a hotel."  
  
    "Your skills as a brother to Sam are what makes you such a great father to Mary," Castiel told him. It was Dean's turn to blush.  
  
    "Thank you," he replied.  
  
    The waiter brought their food, and Dean and Castiel began to eat the rather artfully prepared dishes. It was fancier food than Dean had ever eaten, but he decided that it was worth the expense. He gave a nod toward the steak that Castiel was eating.  
  
    "Whaddaya think?" he asked. "Does it taste better as a human?"  
  
    Castiel concentrated on the bite in his mouth as he thought about his answer.  
  
    "It is very good," he replied. "But, food does not taste better as a human. Food tastes the same. The only difference is that as a human, you have time to develop a hunger. Since Angels don't have to eat, they do not hunger for food."  
  
    Dean chewed slowly as he digested what the older man just said, a stray thought occurring to him.  
  
    "Is it like that for all human experiences?" he asked, casually. "Say, thirst or exhaustion..."  
  
    "No," Castiel answered, looking evenly into Dean's green eyes. "Not for all of them."  
  
    Dean felt a slight warmth rise up his neck and he nodded, shifting in his seat and returning to his meal. They ate in silence for a few moments before Castiel spoke.  
  
    "How soon do you think it will be before we move?" he asked.  
  
    "Hopefully, not long," Dean replied. "I emailed my new boss and got my start date postponed so we could find a place and get moved... we should start looking online for places tomorrow. There's also some odds and ends we need to get taken care of - getting you some identification, for starters - because we want to have the stuff out of the way before I start my new employee paperwork.... so we can get insurance and things like that."  
  
    "I see," Cas replied, looking thoughtful. "I'm not looking forward to having you leave for six weeks,"  
  
    Dean sighed.  
  
    "Nothing I can do about that, babe," he replied, shaking his head. "It's just six weeks. And even if it's out of town, I'll do my best to get home on the weekends. I don't want to miss out on Mary growing up. I already missed the second month of her life. And... Look, it's not like I want to be away from you. I like what we have going."  
  
    "I do too," Castiel agreed. "I hope that I make can make you as happy as you have made me,"  
  
    Dean leaned onto the table, speaking firmly to his Angel.  
  
    "I couldn't be happier, Cas," he told him. "As long as I have you... I have what I need."  
  
    Castiel smiled again.  
  
    "I think that I like dates," he said decidedly. "Since it means spending time with you. What else do you do on dates besides eat?"  
  
    Dean shrugged, returning to eating his food.  
  
    "Depends," he answered. "Different things. We can go to a movie. We can go to a bar that has a live band playing, listen to some music. Or we can go park somewhere and make out... enjoy each other."  
  
    Castiel nodded.  
  
    "I don't know what 'making out' means," he told Dean seriously. "But I want to be with you more than anything else."  
  
    "Oh, well you're going to find out." Dean said with a cheeky grin.  
  
    The pair finished their meal with pie and coffee, and after paying the check, left the restaurant into the warm evening. The part of town they were in was quaint and upscale, so they decided to walk through the city before heading back to the car. Castiel had asked Dean to tell him some of his favorite childhood stories, and the Angel listened with mixed emotions as the hunter recanted his tales of watching Sam, of learning to hunt, and the one or two vague memories he had of his mother.  
  
    "It wasn't perfect," Dean explained, but he didn't look unhappy as he turned to his companion. "At least I know what I want for Mary. She's going to have everything I didn't, no matter what I have to do."  
  
    "I will be by your side," Cas assured him. "You won't have to do it alone."  
  
    "I'm pretty sure my parents didn't foresee what split them," Dean commented, "I just want you to know, Cas, that if something happens... I _will_ put Mary first. And, and I hope you will do that for me too."  
  
    "Of course, Dean," Castiel told him. "I know it is Mary who is my first priority. I couldn't say that I love you, if I didn't love our daughter more. I would move Heaven and Earth to assure her well being."  
  
    Dean stopped walking, taking hold of Cas's arm. Castiel was surprised by the serious look on his face.  
  
    "Thanks, Cas," he said, "That's... thank you. That's exactly what I need to hear."  
  
    Cas's response was just a heartbeat in coming.  
  
    "I'm her father too, Dean. This may be a new experience for an Angel, but it _does_ mean something to me. I want to be a good father... I think we both know what we don't want to be."  
  
    If they weren't standing on a public street, Dean would have kissed him. While he had been hoping for a light, and fun date night with Cas, they were too far along in their relationship to pretend they didn't already have so much connecting them. They were coming up on six months together, a little over two of which they were parents of a little girl. Two years of friend ship, six months of love. Well, six months of _admitting_ love.  
  
    Dean swallowed the lump in his throat, reaching down and taking Castiel's hand in his. The rest of their walk around the shopping plaza was in silence, hand in hand, until they reached the Impala. Dean drove one handed, resting his right hand on the Angel's thigh.  
  
    "Are we going home?" Castiel asked, watching the mountain scenery outside the window. Dean turned to him, before looking back out at the road.  
  
    "Do you want to go home?" Dean asked. Castiel placed his hand over Dean's.  
  
    "....Not yet."  
  
    Dean smiled, taking a turn down a nearly hidden country lane, finding a secluded lake very similar to the one they had been setting by when Dean had first confessed his attraction to the Angel. He cut the engine and leaned back against the seat, resting his arm across the back of it as he looked over at his companion. Cas looked back at him. Dean licked his lips, scooting closer but speaking seriously.  
  
    "Hey Cas," he said softly, dropping his hand to the back of the Angel's neck and running his fingers gently across his skin. Castiel tilted his head expectantly. Dean continued. "Just so you know, in case I haven't said it like, a million times," he grinned, and Castiel mirrored the expression, infected by Dean's emotions. "But, these last months... this is the happiest I've ever been in my life. And I know you kind of got steam rolled into this, but I'm glad that you stuck with me. I'm glad that we're together. And... and as soon as I can get you ID'ed up... you'll marry me, right?"  
  
    "Yes, Dean," Cas said with a nod. "I'd like that. I'd like that very much,"  
  
    Dean smiled wide and leaned down to kiss the Angel. Castiel turned in his seat, slipping his arms around the younger man. There was a sensual, unhurried pace to their actions, and in the following half hour never moved beyond the deep, soul searching kisses and lazy caresses. Castiel stroked the side of Dean's face, enjoying the soft, gentle kisses that the hunter was now bestowing upon him. When Dean pulled away, Cas was watching him through narrowed eye.  
  
    Dean smiled. Castiel was the one person Dean simultaneously knew could protect him, and yet he wanted to protect in return. And he could spend all night branding him with his lips and memorizing the lines of his body. And that was a little funny, but not so much anymore. He loved this man.  
  
    "I think I would like," Castiel spoke to him, squinting his eyes a bit more. "many more nights like this one."  
  
    Dean smirked, leaning back in to kiss him one more time.  
  
    "Me too," he agreed.  
  
    With reluctance, Dean moved back behind the steering wheel and started the car. Cas seemed to be in his own mind on the ride home, staring solemnly out the window. When they reached the house, Dean took the Angel's hand once again as they walked to the door.  
  
    "I'm glad you had a good time tonight," Dean commented, stopping beneath the porch light to look down at the other man.  
  
    "Thank you, Dean." Castiel responded, unconsciously stepping toward the hunter as Dean moved to close the distance. "You make being on earth very, very desirable."  
  
    Dean leaned down, cupping his hand at the back of the Angel's head to pull him close for one last, deep kiss. He could feel Cas's hands close on the fabric of his shirt, and Dean slid his other hand down to press into the small of his back, pulling the other man closer against him.  
  
    "Oh geez, sorry!" Sam exclaimed, turning awkwardly in the now open doorway.  
  
    Dean and Castiel stepped away from each other. Dean wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, a slight scowl on his face.  
  
    "Damnit, Sammy," he grumbled, motioning Cas into the house. Sam grimaced, sheepishly.  
  
    "Sorry," he repeated, shutting the door and looking anywhere but into either of the other men's faces. "I thought you were mom and Bobby... they made a store run for Tylenol-"  
  
    "Why'd we need Tylenol?" Dean demanded, turning from Sammy to the cradle in the middle of the room. Without waiting for a response, he reached down to the baby and touched the backs of his fingers to her forehead. Castiel watched him, a concerned look on his face.  
  
    "Mom said it wasn't bad," Sam told him. "That's why we didn't call you. And it just started a little over an hour ago..."  
  
    "You should've called me, Sam," Dean grumbled, taking the infant from her bed and cradling her in his arms. She whined, a small cry escaping her as she adjusted to the change in her sleeping arrangement.  
  
    "Mom said not to," Sam reiterated. "And I had to listen, 'cause... it's mom. She said you and Cas needed the alone time."  
  
    "Cas and I have our whole life together ahead-"  
  
    "I knew you'd say that," Sam butt in, shaking his head. "But mom said... that you never know..."  
  
    Dean frowned, unable to think of a retort. He turned to Castiel, who was looking stricken.  
  
    "What?" he asked. Castiel reached out, gently touching the baby's cheek.  
  
    "She'll ill... and I cannot help her..."  
  
    "You heard Sammy, Cas," Dean told him supportively. "Mom said it wasn't bad. Mom had two kids, so she knows. They're gonna bring some Tylenol home and this will be gone in no time."  
  
    "'No time' is not instantaneous," Castiel replied, sadly, closing his eyes. "... brother... if you can hear my prayer..."  
  
    The room turned as the whooshing sound of wings filled the air. Gabriel stood smirking at the far end of the room.  
  
    "How could you call me?" he demanded, holding out his hands in disbelief. "I was about judge the final round of Vesterlaag's Swedish oil wrestling competition!"  
  
    Dean turned glaring eyes to Castiel.  
  
    "He's not touching our baby," he said, seriously. Castiel frowned.  
  
    "Gabriel," he spoke, ignoring the hunter. "My daughter is ill... please... please heal her."  
  
    Gabriel raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer and peering semi-curiously down at the little bundle in Dean's arms.  
  
    "So..." he began, blandly. "This is the little cherub that caused Raphael to rip you a new one..."  
  
    Dean looked back to Castiel, who was watching his brother. Dean turned to the archangel.  
  
    "Can you get Cas's grace back?" he asked, causing Castiel to finally look back at him. "Can you get it back from Raphael?"  
  
    Gabriel sighed.  
  
    "I'm not even sure it's still in one piece," he replied, dryly, his eyes still watching the baby in Dean's arms. "Raph was pretty pissed. Letting Cas jump from on high caused quite a stir on the other side of the pearly gates. There are some who took dad's instructions a little too literally. He had to make an example."  
  
    "Don't worry about me," Castiel interrupted. "Can you make Marry well? Please?"  
  
    Gabriel sighed, reaching over and hesitantly placing the tip of his finger against the baby's forehead. Dean quickly pressed the back of his hand to her cheek.  
  
    "She's cool," he spoke, amazed. He looked up at Gabriel, and spoke grudgingly. "...thank you."  
  
    "I am her uncle," Gabriel reminded him. He stared down at the baby for another moment before asking. "... may I...l hold her?"  
  
    Dean instinctively frowned, looking from Sam to Cas. Castiel looked expectantly.  
  
    "You gotta sit down first," Dean demanded, gruffly. "I don't know if you know how to hold babies."  
  
    Gabriel rolled his eyes, dropping down on the sofa and letting Dean drop a pillow in his lap before gently laying Mary across it. Gabriel brought his arm around her, keeping the infant securely in his arm.  
  
    "Not bad," Sam observed, crossing his arms over his chest. Gabriel kept his eyes on the baby's wide, blue eyes.  
  
    "I have little siblings too, you know," he said to Dean. Castiel set down at his brother's side.  
  
    "She is beautiful, is she not?" he asked quietly. "I... I didn't do wrong, Gabriel. You are on my side, right?"  
  
    Gabriel sighed, glancing up at Dean before looking back to his brother.  
  
    "Of course I'm on your side," he agreed. "A lot of us are. There just isn't much we can do right now."  
  
    "I can't believe this Raphael dick is so all powerful," Dean grumbled. "Certainly if you guys got together-"  
  
    "You think we haven't thought of that, General Patton?" Gabriel asked, sarcastically. "Unfortunately, he thought of it too."  
  
    "Dean," Sam broke in, taking his brother's arm. "Let's go in the kitchen and get a beer, hm? Let Cas talk to his brother alone."  
  
    Dean glared at the angels, but moved on into the kitchen at Sam's urging. Castiel and Gabriel waited until their grumbling died away before speaking.  
  
    "How are you hanging in there, Cas?" Gabriel asked him. Castiel nodded his head as he answered, as if trying to reinforce his response.  
  
    "I'm well. I am enjoying being part of this family. Of being a father... of being with Dean."  
  
    Gabriel rolled his eyes, giving his brother an unamused smirk.  
  
    "Cas," he began wearily. "I partly blame myself for not taking you down to earth to sew your wild oats when you were a fledgling," Castiel blushed and made an impatient huff of irritation. "But brother, you can't sell the farm to the first milk maid that comes to squeeze the teets,"  
  
    "What does that even mean?" Castiel asked, repulsed. Gabriel raised a hand.  
  
    "It means: Dean Winchester is not the only comely human on Father's creation. Now, I... I can't say that I get what you see in him, but I have heard that he's considered attractive."  
  
    "I don't love Dean just because he is pretty to look at," Castiel defended himself. "I love Dean for who he is, the measure of his character."  
  
    "Oh?" Gabriel asked, raising an eyebrow. "So you haven't spent the last six months spreading your legs for him? And I'm including the times you got between his."  
  
    Castiel's face burned hotly, and he scowled at the other angel.  
  
    "If you've come to torment and insult me-"  
  
    "I came to answer your prayer," Gabriel corrected, smoothly. "The tormenting is gratis," he brought his hand to Castiel's cheek, giving his a gentle pat. "We're worried about you Cas," he said. "Playing house is one thing. Giving up your grace... you do realize that you will age and die - or possibly just die in some tragic human accident - and then that's it for you? No Heaven. No Hell. No nothing?"  
  
    Castiel sighed, looking down at his little girl.  
  
    "Right now there is Mary. And there is Dean. I won't trade that for eternity."  
  
    Gabriel sighed as well, turning his eyes to the baby girl.  
  
    "She is beautiful, Castiel... her grace... it resonates like yours...." he turned, slipping the baby deftly into his younger brothers arms before standing. "She's special." he gave one last glare to the duo in the kitchen before continuing. "That ape better treat you well."  
  
    "He does," Cas assured him. "Thank you, brother, for heeding my call. For helping my child."  
  
    "What're brothers for, hm?" Gabriel replied, placing his hands in his pockets. "Now, I'm off to Sweden."  
  
    "Of course," Castiel spoke, the words barely leaving his mouth before he was alone. Dean and Sam returned to the room. Dean took the spot Gabriel had just vacated and rested his arm across the back of the couch.  
  
    "What did he say?" he asked, curiously. Castiel leaned back against the sofa, leaning in to Dean's side and the younger man brought his arm around the Angel's shoulder. Sam gave a light smile.  
  
    "He said she was beautiful," Castiel replied.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean, Cas, and Sam spent much of the next several days scouring online realty sites looking for homes for rent in the Palo Alto area. Many were too small, too pricey, or too far away for Dean's commute - which Dean couldn't believe was even something he had to be concerned about. Sam laughed at his brother's behavior, telling him it was one of the prices you pay for going legit - suits were real work clothes and no longer a costume, commuting was an every day part of your job, and that he’d better look into a nice retirement account in addition to any type of 401k plan the government sets up for you, possibly an IRA.    
  
    "I don't even know what half those letters and numbers mean," Dean grumbled from his seat at the end of the kitchen table, where he held his baby daughter over one shoulder. Castiel and Sam were at his side, huddled over the laptop.  
  
    "Here's one that sounds perfect," the younger Winchester announced. "This spacious feeling, recently renovated condo has two bedrooms - one for a nursery - one and a half baths, open concept living/dining area with covered patio and sixty square feet of lawn - well that's a little small, but it's just a starter. Your commute would be about 45 minutes each way...."  
  
    Dean looked at the pictures of the empty home when Sam turned the monitor his way. He shrugged.  
  
    "Add it to the list," he suggested. "It's the only thing on the list right now, though, right?" he chuckled, bringing Mary's tiny fist to his lips and kissing it.  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed as he too scrutinized the online photos of the condo.  
  
    "... this won't work," he spoke, looking to the brothers. "It's... very small."  
  
    "It's a condo, Cas," Dean explained. "It's not like a house. It's like an apartment... on growth hormone." Castiel didn't look as though that clarified anything. "What's the trouble?" Dean asked. Castiel looked back to the listing.  
  
    "If it is only two bedrooms... and one is ours and one is Mary's..." he seemed confused, as if the question was odd to ask. "... where will Sam sleep?"  
  
    Dean's eyebrows raised and he turned to his brother. Sam gave a nervous laugh.  
  
    "I won't be living with you, Cas," he explained, gently. "I'm going to stay here with mom and Bobby..."  
  
    The crease in Castiel's forehead was joined by another.  
  
    "But... this is too far away..." he said, looking to Dean for assistance. "... Mary... needs you..."  
  
    Sam's face morphed from sympathy to misery in seconds.  
  
    "Oh, Cas," he sighed, "Don't say that! It's not that I want to be away from you guys-"  
  
    "Then I don't understand," Castiel spoke, looking between the two. "I don't want Dean to have to sacrifice his family just to live a life with me,"  
  
    Dean reached out, placing hand on Castiel's arm.  
  
    "Babe," he said gently, earning the Angel's attention. Sam blushed slightly, never hearing an endearment leave his brother's lips for anything other than the sleek American made car in the front yard. "It's okay. Sammy doesn't want to live with us."  
  
    "I never said I didn't want to," Sam replied, turning to Dean. "I just don't want to be a fifth wheel."  
  
    "You're not a fifth wheel!" Dean insisted. "I thought you didn't want to go legit with me. I thought you wanted to... you know... finally have your own life."  
  
    Sam grimaced, looking back at his older brother. Didn't Dean realize that he and Cas and Mary were his life? That he wasn't likely to have anything more?  
  
    "Dean," he said. "Of course I want to stay with you guys. I just thought... you'd want some time to be a family... by yourselves."  
  
    Dean pointed to the laptop.  
  
    "Keep searching," he instructed, pulling out his phone as it began vibrating in his pocket. He looked at the display with pleasant surprise before answering. "Why Jimmy Novak," he spoke, grinning. "How's the fam?"  
  
    "Hello Dean," Jimmy answered, and Dean was happy to hear lighthearted joy in the other man's voice. "We're all well. Amelia sends her love."  
  
    "Back at'er." Dean commented.  "And how's Claire?"  
  
    "She's great," Jimmy told him. "Of course, now that we let her get a tattoo, she thinks we have to let her stay up past nine thirty - and that's not happening."  
  
    "No sir," Dean laughed.  
  
    "How're Cas and Mary?" Jimmy asked, happy to hear that they were well. "So, I guess you're wondering why I called," Jimmy continued. Dean gave a short laugh.  
  
    "We're always happy to hear from the Novaks," Dean told him. "But, sure... what's going on. Nothing bad I hope?"  
  
    "No, nothing bad," Jimmy assured him. "It's just... recently, I had a really, really interesting visit form my cousin Sandra..."  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed, something in Jimmy's tone and words sparking an odd memory.  
  
    "Sandra?" he asked, wondering if he should get the implication.  
  
    "Yeah," Jimmy said with a sigh, "But I believe you know her as Amariel..."  
  
    "Sonofabitch," Dean frowned, earning a "what, what?" from his brother. "What did she do?"  
  
    "Nothing," Jimmy insisted, setting back on the love seat in the den as he spoke. "I haven't seen her in a while, and she stopped by... wanted to tell me what she knew about Cas. And me and Cas. So, we had a nice little commiseration of being tethered to an angel."  
  
    "Well, misery loves company," Dean reminded him. He could hear the other man laugh.  
  
    "Understatement. So, I - hold on a second Dean," Dean listened to the sounds in the background, hearing Jimmy say "Daddy's on the phone right now, honey,". It made Dean smile. He was glad Jimmy was getting back to his life - without depriving himself of Castiel. "Sorry about that. Claire wants to know if you are going to send more pictures of Mary?"  
  
    "Absolutely," Dean replied. "I'll do that tonight."  
  
    "Thank you," Jimmy replied. "Anyway, after talking with Sandra about our experience, she convinced me that we had to tell my family - my parent's and Amelia's. She said it wasn't fair that my in-laws thought I was a raving lunatic or a deadbeat for the last couple years..."  
  
    "Wow," Dean commented, sitting up in his chair. "Did you tell them?"  
  
    "Yep," Jimmy answered. "And my mother wanted to call our reverend and my father in-law tried to throw me out of the house. But, Amariel paid a little visit and now... well... My mom would sure like to meet Cas." he laughed uncomfortably a moment, before sighing. "I got to tell you Dean, that's been the hardest part for everyone on my end to work around."  
  
    Dean rose from his chair, walking nonchalantly into the living room under the guise that he was lulling Mary.  
  
    "That Cas has your... your first body?" he asked, a sick twist in his stomach. Jimmy spoke quickly before the feeling had a chance to sit in.  
  
    "Oh no!" he insisted. "Not that. I think my being here in the flesh - any flesh - is all anyone is concerned about in that respect. It's just Cas... Cas in general - that he, or at least his body, is a Novak. My mother thanks him for choosing me, for protecting me and my family. But, she knows that, at least on some part, he is... you know... still her son." he laughed again. "And Claire needed us to explain twice why she wasn't Mary's big sister."  
  
    "I'm sorry," Dean said softly, unconsciously hugging his child tighter.  
  
    "Don't be," Jimmy told him. "If, uh, Amelia and I can help it, we'll do our best to make her a sibling."  
  
    "I'm rooting for you," Dean remarked, a smile returning to his face. "I'm glad to hear your getting back to a life."  
  
    "It's all thanks to you," Jimmy reminded him. "My family knows that. I mean, Amariel didn't get in to all the details, but she told me it was due to your faith and your strength that Castiel was able to keep destruction from raining down on us all. I'd like to think it wasn't just because you had him artfully distracted." Dean blushed, shaking his head but was slightly amused. He didn't attempt to clarify - anything would have sounded lame, even the truth. Jimmy continued. "So, we do thank you both. And we want you to know that. Amelia and I want you both to know that if there is anything we can ever do, we'd be more than happy to."  
  
    "You don't owe us a thing, man," Dean told him. "We owe you, and you just need to accept that."  
  
    Jimmy laughed lightly, switching the phone to his other ear.  
  
    "Tell you what," he said. "You want to do something for us? Invite us to the wedding." Dean smiled, holding Mary tighter as he sat back on the couch. "There is going to be a wedding, right?" Jimmy asked.  
  
    "Yeah - well, I mean, we're getting married," Dean explained. "Just, nothing big... at the courthouse, probably... just mom, Sam and Bobby..." he sighed, heavily. "None of that's going to happen until I find a way to get some identification for Cas. I don't want to... you know... do something shady, like forgery..."  
  
    "Well, if you find something, will you at least consider inviting us?" Jimmy asked.  
  
    "Of course," Dean replied, still blushing.  
  
    "Good. Well, it was nice chatting with you, Dean. Give your family our love."  
  
    "Will do," Dean agreed. "You tell your mom not to worry about Cas. He's being taken care of... and you tell Claire she's getting pictures of her sister soon."  
  
    "Thank you, Dean," Jimmy spoke, his voice reflecting his gratitude. "Oh, by the way, I fedex'ed you a gift this morning. Text me when you get it."  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed, but he replied evenly.  
  
    "Okay," he said. "Thanks, Jimmy."  
  
    After speaking their goodbye's, Dean pocketed his phone and pushed himself back to his feet. He returned to the kitchen where Sam and Cas were discussing one of the properties on the internet.  
  
    "Dean, look at this one," Sam spoke to him. "I think it's perfect - if you're sure you want me hanging around,"  
  
    "Stop it," Dean warned, coming up behind his brother and ruffling his hair. Sam smiled, reading the information on the site.  
  
    "This newly renovated town home is located in an established neighborhood with tree-lined streets and off street parking. Two stories; two bedroom; two and a half baths;... converted third bedroom/office on lower level...hardwood floors, open concept living and dining area with gas fireplace; eighty square foot back garden; close to shops, parks, and highway access." he looked to his brother for his opinion. "It's not too pricey, but... if we can go in together it’s not too bad. Besides, your commute will be about 35 minutes each way..."  
  
    Dean looked at the pictures of the cozy little town house, easily able to imagine him and Cas living their life their.  
  
    "So, you want the room on the first level?" he asked. Sam nodded.  
  
    "Yeah, it's be perfect," he replied. "It's got a bathroom and it’s own entrance... And, c'mon let's be honest, I'm not going to live there forever, and neither are you two."  
  
    Dean considered it, looking from his brother to Castiel.  
  
    "What do you think?" he asked the Angel. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "I think it's fine. What's important is that we're together."  
  
    "Awww!" Sam gushed, dramatically to cut the tension between him and Dean. He wondered vaguely if Dean would ever feel comfortable with feelings. Dean cleared his throat.  
  
    "Submit the application and tell them we have cash up front," he instructed. Sam began clicking, starting the online application.  
  
    "I got it,"  
  
    Dean turned to Castiel, giving a nod of a his head toward the living room and the Angel stood, following Dean into the next room.  
  
    "Jimmy called," Dean began casually, setting down on the sofa next to Cas.  
  
    "Is he well?" Castiel asked, looking at his companion.  
  
    "Yeah," Dean replied, "Yeah, they're great. He told his family about you, about us... not sure how much, but they're all okay. They want us to be happy."  
  
    "The Novak's are a very kind family," Cas spoke, turning his eyes skyward as if reminiscing on his view of them from far above. "Very devout, very faithful and humble. Charitable."  
  
    "Sounds like them," Dean replied. He sighed, laying back onto the sofa and resting Mary against his chest. He pulled his feet up and placed them on Castiel's lap, giving him a smirking smile. Castiel smiled back, shaking his head as he rested his hands on Dean's ankles. "I love you," Dean whispered happily as the Angel began to massage the muscles beneath his palms. Dean groaned, blessing the Angel's strong hands. Within minutes, he was pleasantly relaxed and he fell asleep.  
  
    Mary Winchester came through he living room on her way to the laundry room, smiling broadly at the site of her son on the couch, sleeping with his beautiful baby daughter on his chest. She motioned Sam into the living room and forced the younger Winchester to take several pictures before she took the baby into her own arms and handed her to Cas. She took a quilt off the back of the sofa, laying it over her son.  
  
    "Cas?" Dean murmured, stirring slightly. Castiel reached up, taking hold of the hand the hunter was holding out to him.  
  
    "I'm here, Dean," Castiel spoke quietly. Mrs. Winchester smiled at the boys, touching Castiel affectionately on the cheek as she passed.  
  
    Dean slept soundly for close to two hours, eventually curling onto his side, but keeping Castiel's hand tightly in his. He wasn't disturbed until a knock sounded and he turned his blurry eyes to the door, watching Sam taking a flat envelope parcel from the delivery man.  
  
    "That for me?" he asked groggily, looking down at Castiel's hand as he sat up. The corner of his mouth turned up in a slight grin. While Sam was reading the side of the envelope, Dean brought the Angel's hand to his lips before rising to stand.  
  
    "Yeah," Sam told him. "It's from Jimmy."  
  
    Dean frowned, taking the envelope and looking at the address label. His brain couldn't even imagine what it could contain, but the address to "Dean and Cas Winchester" brought a smile to his lips. He pulled the parcel opened, pulling out the two slips of paper inside.  
  
_Dean,_  
  
_I wanted to give you and Castiel something with some meaning to show our appreciation for all you've done for us. There will really never be enough words to express it, but I'm hoping that this will help you live the life that you two deserve. So, we thought this would be a good way to express our gratitude. Sandra works in the Livingston County registrar's office, after all... Do you think Amariel knew that?_  
  
_Sincerely and with love,_  
  
_The Novaks_  
  
_P.s. Seriously, invite us to the wedding_  
  
    Dean furrowed his brow at the smiley face punctuating the end of the letter as he turned to the second sheet of paper pressed flat in the envelope. It was grey and blue, with neat type in the center and a raised dry seal in the corner. It took his only seconds to realize what it was.  
  
    A birth certificate. For Castiel Novak; born the second of twin sons in Pontiac, Illinois.  
  
    Castiel was slightly concerned by the look of stunned shock on Dean's face.  
  
    "What is it?" he and Sam spoke at once. Dean looked up, his jaw tight as he took two steps toward the Angel, pulling him tightly into his arms.  
  
    "It our ticket to get married," he spoke, kissing Cas quickly on the mouth without thought to those around him. "It means we're getting married."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When do you know you love someone enough to marry them and start a family?" Claire asked. Jimmy shrugged, turning to his wife.  
> "It's different for everyone. Some, know right away. Others are a little more stubborn. Most take quite a while to find the right one."  
> Claire considered this information before asking.  
> "How old were you and mom when you got married?" she asked. Jimmy paled slightly, looking upon his daughter who was only two years younger than he was when he met his wife, and just shy of five years younger than when he married her.  
> "Age isn't important," he replied. "What's important is that we were adults, we graduated high school and we went to college."  
> "But what if I miss my true love because I went off to college?" Claire asked. Dean answered this question.  
> "True love is worth waiting for," he told her. "If he really loves you... he'll be waiting. And that's a good feeling."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I think this story is set in 2011 (wonky timeline warning was real!), but I wrote it in 2015. When I was writing it just for myself, I didn't care about the accuracy of which states did or didn't allow same-sex marriage. I was going to try to rework the story to make it more accurate, but I just couldn't make it work out. So, please forgive the inaccuracy. I know California didn't allow same-sex marriage in 2011, but let's pretend they weren't in the dark ages. :)

    The next several weeks seemed to go by in a blur for those in the Singer house. Cas and Dean didn't have much to pack, their entire household together consisting of two duffel bags of clothes and toiletries, a box of baby items, a cradle, a car seat, and an odd assortment of weapons. It was the things outside the home that were taking their time. Dean, Sam, and Cas purchased a few furniture items online, and Dean drove to California on a weekend to sign the lease, accept the furniture delivery, and pick up the marriage license. Since South Dakota did not yet allow same-sex marriage, they decided to get married in California. No one made any indication that this was an inconvenience, and Dean was grateful for it.  
  
    Happily, Dean had enough money to send three plane tickets to the Novaks, but they insisted on paying for their hotel. Dean was slightly nervous about marrying Castiel in front of Jimmy and Amelia, but he wasn't about to refuse their request to be there.  
  
    Ten days before Dean was scheduled to start his new job, Bobby and the Winchesters loaded up the Impala and one of Bobby's best running cars and headed to Leighton, California - a small suburb of Palo Alto. With Dean, Sam, Mary, and Bobby rotating the driving duties, they arrived at the town house in the early hours of Sunday morning. They had planned on arriving Saturday, but had seriously underestimated both Castiel’s and the baby’s ability to stay in the car for long periods of time. Apparently, mundane car travel didn’t bother Cas as an Angel, but as a human, it made him claustrophobic and sick. Everyone was relieved when they finally pulled to a stop in the driveway of the little town home that would be their new home.    
  
    "Oh Dean," Mary breathed, looking up at the pale yellow, two story structure as they got out of the car. "This is darling."  
  
    Dean put his arm around her and she hugged him as they both looked toward the house.  
  
    "You sure you won't live with us, Mom?" he asked quietly, watching Castiel and Sam trying to extricate a sleeping baby from the car seat with as little disturbance as possible. "We'd really like you to..."  
  
    "Oh, honey," she sighed, reaching up to touch his face. "I'd love to, but a young married couple doesn't need a mom living with them. Besides, someone needs to take care of Bobby."  
  
    Dean frowned, looking down at her.  
  
    "Have you... talked to dad lately?" he asked. Mary nodded, but didn't look pleased.  
  
    "I spoke to him yesterday," she replied. When she didn't elaborate, Dean continued.  
  
    "What did you talk about?" he asked. "Did you tell him... that I'm getting married?"  
  
    Mary's expression was sympathetic.  
  
    "Why haven't you?" she asked. Dean turned back to look at Castiel, who was holding the baby in his arms and leaning against the car. Dean spoke quietly.  
  
    "I didn't want to be disappointed." he explained. He turned back to his mother. "Mom, you and dad are married. Do you think you'll ever make up?"  
  
    Mary sighed again, patting her son gently on the chest.  
  
    "Dean, I don't want you to worry about this." she smiled brightly at him. "You have so much to be happy about. So much to be thankful for. Don't worry about this one little thing."  
  
    "Little?" Dean asked. Mary gave him a faux stern look.  
  
    "Stop," she insisted. "Let's get inside."  
  
    Dean couldn't help but smile, taking the keys from his pocket and leading the group into the house. The inside was sparsely furnished and had that slight echoey feeling of a new home, but everyone was happy with the charm of the place. Dean took everyone from room to room, giving a tour.  
  
    "There is still a lot we need, obviously," he explained as they reached the last room of the house - the master bedroom. "We pretty much only have the beds, the couch, and the dining room table. But, I guess we'll get stuff as we go."  
  
    "It's adorable, Dean," Mrs. Winchester told him. "I think you boys are going to be happy here."  
  
    "We'll do out best," he replied. He took a deep breath, letting it out in a heavy sigh. "Well, I still got some things to get done, so-" he looked to Castiel. "I'm going to go out and pick some things up for tomorrow. If you need anything, you give me a call alright?" he looked at his watch. "I'll be back around one or so. I'll pick up some stuff for the kitchen so we can have dinner here tonight, but you all may have to order out for lunch. Amelia called and said they got in last night, so I hope we can get together later."  
  
    "We'll be fine here," Bobby assured him. "You just get what you need to get done,"  
  
    "Thanks, Bobby," Dean replied. "Sam, you want to come with?"  
  
    Sam shrugged, jumping to his feet.  
  
    "Yeah, of course,"  
  
    Dean kissed his baby on the forehead and gave Castiel a thump on the back.  
  
    “Get some rest,” he instructed the Angel, “If you think of anything you want or need, call me,”  
  
    “I’ll be fine, Dean,” Castiel assured him. “I’m sorry I’ve inconvenienced the time line...”  
  
    “Nah,” Dean replied, shaking his head. “We’re in good shape. Plenty of time before tomorrow.” he grinned at the Angel, giving him another pat on the back. Castiel smiled at his words. Tomorrow, they were getting married. “I’ll be back.”  
  
    Dean followed his brother back to the Impala.  
  
    "So," Sam began, sliding into the passenger seat beside his bother. "What are we getting?"  
  
    Dean tilted his head from side to side, stretching out the tension he held in his neck from so much driving. He backed out of the driveway before answering.  
  
    "Well, thought we'd stop by the first Sears or Target  we find to get some pans and dishes - you know, forks and stuff..." Sam nodded and his brother continued. "Then I need to find somewhere to get Cas a tie for tomorrow. We got him a suit last week, but I still need to find a tie, you know?" Sam nodded, listening as he began to search on his phone for nearby stores. He didn't miss the nervous tone in his brother's voice, but he didn't point it out either. "And I, um... I gotta get wedding rings."  
  
    Sam looked over at him, giving his brother a supportive smile.  
  
    "We can get that done no problem," he answered, "I think we may even have time afterward to have a beer, you think?"  
  
    Dean grinned, and some of the tension disappeared from his face.  
  
    "Yeah..."  
  
    The brothers stopped at the closest retailer, buying dishes, glasses, enough flatware for the eight place settings, and a variety of odd and ends for cooking utensils. Dean had purchased all of the household items, such as dish soap and toilet paper, the last time he was in town, so the boys were ready to leave relatively quickly. The only impulse buy was a swing for the baby. They jammed the items into the car, before heading to a high-end menswear store in the same shopping area. One dark navy silk tie later, and the two hesitantly entered the jeweler next door.  
  
    Dean followed Sam's lead, walking behind his younger brother as the taller man made a bee line for the wedding jewelry.  
  
    "I'm gonna guess you want something simple?" Sam spoke quietly, leaning over the glass counter at the ring sets inside. Dean frowned.  
  
    "Well, for Cas, yeah.” Dean scoffed, looking around the showcases of jewelry. “But I was hoping for something over the top like a total gansta' pimp for myself."  
  
    Sam snorted, trying his best not to laugh. Dean grinned.  
  
    "Can I help you gentleman?"  
  
    The soft voice drew both of their attention, and both sets of eyes slid over the woman's deep cleavage before rising to her face. She smiled warmly at them, laying her hands on the edge of the case.  
  
    "Uh, yeah," Sam answered. He cleared his throat before continuing. "My.. um... my brother is getting married and he.. um... would like to look at some wedding bands."  
  
    The woman turned her eyes to Dean, smiling sweetly.  
  
    "Do you have a metal preference?" she asked, pointing to the ring on his right hand. "That looks to be two tone steel. Is that the look you were going for?"  
  
    Dean looked down to the ring he already wore. It was such a habit, he forgot he had it on. It was nothing but a simple iron band, used as a ward for spirits. He twisted the metal on his finger a moment.  
  
    "No," he said with certainty. "I want something totally different."  
  
    The woman kept her smile, not realizing the weight behind those words. Sam furrowed his brow, trying to keep his expression neutral.  
  
    "Well, there is titanium," the sales woman began, opening the case and removing the velvet tray containing the wedding sets. "This one has an inlay of white gold." she handed Dean a ring and he slipped it on, flexing his fingers at the odd feeling of it on his left hand.  
  
    "It's alright..." he commented. "What's the difference between 'white gold' and 'silver'?" he asked. The woman's smile widened.  
  
    "The strength," she said brightly before continuing. "...and the price,"  
  
    "Gotcha," Dean replied, smiling in return. Sam shook his head. His brother was a natural flirt. "What about this one?" Dean asked, pointing to a band that was a brushed silver tone and a deep grey.  
  
    "This is tungsten," she replied, "Tungsten is one of the strongest metals there is. This is tungsten and titanium, satin finish."  
  
    Dean made an impressed nod, putting the ring on and flexing his hand again. He wondered if it would hold up to repeated strikes against the barrel of a shotgun. He removed it and placed it to the side, turning to Sam.  
  
    "You think Cas would like that?" he asked. Sam made an amused grunt.  
  
    "Like I would know?" he asked. "I'm pretty sure he'll like whatever you pick out. You could get him a freaking princess cut solitaire and he'd wear it."  
  
    "A what?" Dean asked, grimacing. The sales girl reached into the case, producing a beautiful, shimmering square cut diamond set on a silver toned band. Dean raised a brow. "That is nice... but, I don't think so."  
  
    The sales woman laughed, placing the ring back in the case.  
  
    "What color are his eyes?" she asked, reaching back into the case for another square cushion of men's bands.  
  
    "Blue," Dean replied, unable to stop the smile that lit his face. " _Blue_ blue."  
  
    Sam put a fist to his mouth, trying to keep his own smile in check. The sales woman handed another ring to Dean.  
  
    "This one is Tungsten and ceramic, hard-wearing yet elegant."  
  
    "Oh, that sounds like Cas," Sam laughed. Dean frowned at his brother, turning the ring over in his hand.  
  
    "I like the darker color," he replied. "You got this other one in a color closer to this?" he asked, pointing in turn to the original ring he sat aside and the one he now held.  
  
    "Of course," she produced a fourth ring, this one tone in two slightly different shades of deep, grey-blue. Dean slipped it on. There was something about the color that reminded him of Cas.  
  
    "I like this one," he stated, before hesitantly asking. "Do you... do you do engraving?"  
  
    "Absolutely. The first nine characters are free, usually the wedding date, and every additional character is ten dollars." she explained.  
  
    "Cool," Dean replied, to which Sam asked.  
  
    "What are you going to engrave on it?" he asked. Dean frowned,  
  
    "None of your damn business." he replied. Their soon to be bickering was cut short when the sales girl asked.  
  
    "Do you know what ring size you'll need?"  
  
    Dean turned to her, confusion on his face.  
  
    "What do you mean?" he asked. Sam shook his head.  
  
    "Are Cas's hands the same size as yours Dean?" he asked. "You don't want to engrave a ring they'll have to resize."  
  
    Dean looked stunned by the thought. Wasn't men’s jewelry, by it's nature, supposed to be simple? Sam rolled his eyes but smiled, pulling out his phone. Dean waited patiently as he dialed.  
  
    "Hey, it's Sam," the younger hunter spoke into the phone. "Can you meet us at Hershfield's Jeweler on Palm Street? We need to know your ring size... Yes... awesome. Thank you - see you soon."  
  
    Dean turned back to the case, leaning over to examine the ring he had picked. The sales girl sized his ring finger, finding the style ring he wanted in the right fit. Dean took the receipt form from her, writing out the message for the engraving on the inner band of Cas's ring. When she took it back, she let out a long "aw" of emotion.  
  
    "That is so sweet," she gushed, bringing a hand to her chest. "You got a lucky guy. If you weren't engaged, I would totally hit on you."  
  
    Dean grinned, part of him wanting to flirt back, part of him wanting to respect his Angel.  
  
    "Thanks," he grinned, blushing.  
  
    Sam leaned over the case beside him, looking down into the engagement rings. He took a deep breath, sighing before he spoke.  
  
    "That's just like the one I bought Jessica." he commented, pointing through the glass at the diamond the sales girl presented him with earlier. "She commented once when we were first dating how the princess cut could make even the most imperfect stone look amazing, and that's why it was her favorite." he smiled. "She said it was like having the best hair cut, but for stones." Dean smiled back at him, but he knew what pain his brother must be feeling. This had to be hard for him. Sam went on. "I didn't have a lot of money, so I could afford a big stone, but I got the best quality I could and had it cut so it'd look it's best..."  
  
    "You never got to give it to her?" the girl asked, quietly. Sam shook his head.  
  
    "No, she uh... she passed away," he replied, standing. The sales girl apologized and Sam spoke heartily. "It was a long time ago, it's alright. And tomorrow," he turned to Dean, clapping him on the back. "My big brother is getting married to an amazing person whom he loves more than anything and I get to be there for it. I'm so happy for you, Dean,"  
  
    "Are we having a Kodak moment, Sammy?" Dean asked, trying to add some levity. "A Kleenex moment? A _Midol_ moment?"  
  
    "Shut up," Sam grimaced, shoving his brother. Before they could continue their antics, the sales girl spoke.  
  
    "You weren't kidding about the _blue_ -blue," she breathed. Dean and Sam turned, seeing the man she referenced as he walked toward them.  
  
    "Dean," he greeted. "Sam,"  
  
    "Hey Jimmy," Sam returned, reaching out to take the other's hand. "Thanks for coming. I didn't know how else to get the measurement without leaving to go get Cas and this is, well, rather convenient." Jimmy chuckled, amused by both Sam's words and Dean's dumbfounded expression.  
  
    "Anything for the Winchesters," he replied. "Anything for Castiel. Which one did you pick?"  
  
    "Uh, thanks Jimmy," Dean spoke finally, stepping aside as the older man came up to the counter at his side. "I got, uh, this one," he pointed to the dark, two toned ring. There was something odd is Jimmy's expression as he turned it over in his hand. "What?" Dean asked. "Does it have the writing of Mordor or something?"  
  
    Jimmy laughed.  
  
    "No," he replied, taking off his own wedding band and slipping the new one in it's place. "No, I was just thinking that... that it's perfect." he took it off and handed it back to the sales girl. "Do you have a half size smaller?"  
  
    "Sure," she replied, placing the ring back in the case and handing him another from the lower stock. "So... you're not the fiance?" she asked. Jimmy shook his head.  
  
    "I'm the future brother-in-law," he told her, putting the new ring on his finger. "This is perfect."  
  
    "Thanks, Jimmy," Dean said again. He paid for both of the rings and the three of them decided to head to a bar and grill down the block while they waited for the engraving to be complete. They settled at a small table on the perimeter and ordered a round of beer.  
  
    "You nervous?" Jimmy asked before taking the first drink from his bottle. Dean shook his head.  
  
    "I don't think so." he replied, absently peeling the corner of the label from the glass. "Just say a couple vows, sign a couple papers, and that's it, right?"  
  
    Jimmy shrugged, thinking back to his own wedding day. Sam leaned on the table, raising his eyebrows as he asked.  
  
    "Were you nervous on your wedding day?" he addressed the older man. Jimmy laughed, nodding. Sam grinned. "Understatement?" he asked.  
  
    "And how," Jimmy said. "I was sick to my stomach - excited, though. Amelia and I, gosh, we were young. Just eighteen, right out of school."  
  
    "Virgins?" Dean smirked, lifting his bottle to his mouth. Jimmy sobered a bit, nodding his head.  
  
    "Yeah," he told them without a hint of embarrassment. "It wasn't easy, but it's the way we were raised. Well, it was the way _I_ was raised. Ugh, I couldn't imagine how my father would have laid into me if I had gotten her pregnant before we got married," he shuddered. "But, I had a full track scholarship to Illinois State - go Redbirds - we had money for a small apartment while I got my degree. We both worked on campus. I majored in Business Admin, with a minor in Religious studies. Amelia got her undergrad in music and I guess it was timed pretty well because we had Claire the year after I graduated, even though, to be honest, we were trying our best. We just wanted to be together and have a family, so... we got married young so we wouldn't get in trouble."  
  
    "You could have just gone off to college and lived together without your parents knowing," Sam told him. "That's what I did."  
  
    "Yeah," Jimmy said wryly. "But GOD would know. That was always hanging over my head. _God_ would know... and he'd somehow tell my father." he laughed, taking another drink. "I wouldn't change it for the world, though. I never wanted to be with anyone other than Amelia. We've been together since I was fifteen years old... our wedding night was special."  
  
    "It was probably a disaster," Dean commented, with a smirk. "Two virgins. Geeze."  
  
    "It got better," Jimmy chuckled. "Please don't tell her I said any of this,"  
  
    "Not on your life," Dean agreed, clanking the neck of his bottle against Jimmy's.  
  
    "Thank you," Jimmy replied. "And, I wish you and Cas the best, Dean. Marriage... it's not always easy, even when you love each other. Stupid things make you mad, and even when you think you know the other person, sometime they do odd things that throw you off."  
  
    "Like inviting an Angel into their meat suit?" Sam asked. Jimmy nearly spat out his beer, and he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.  
  
    "Touche," he remarked. "But no, it's usually not the big things that wear on you. It's the little things. My advice," he said, turning to Dean. "Never go to bed angry, even if you have to stay up late.  And wake up every day and remind yourself why you love him."  
  
    "Sounds easy enough," Dean agreed. Jimmy watched the hunter a moment before speaking.  
  
    "This may not be my place to say," he began. "But, of all the bits and pieces of things I remember from my time with Castiel, the thing that stands out the brightest and most intense was his affection for you. I knew it was love before he did, and when he realized it too... man... it was overwhelming. There isn't anything he wouldn't have done for you, even if it was pulling the whole world down with his bare hands. More than anything, he wants to make you happy."  
  
    Dean blushed faintly, nodding his head and looking down at the bottle in his hands.  
  
    "Yeah, well..." he mumbled. "I want Cas to be happy too," he replied. Jimmy smiled.  
  
    "I guarantee you, his is. He feels selfish about it, but he's happy. And tomorrow, will be one of the best days in creation for him." his smile softened and he shook his head. "And the ring... he's going to love it."  
  
    "Well, something about it reminded me of him," Dean commented. Jimmy looked up at him.  
  
    "And he'll love that - not just for the cheesy inscription." Dean blush deepened. "But, because of your intuition."  
  
    "What do you mean?" Sam asked. Jimmy smiled again.  
  
    "That cobalt like dark grey blue," he told them both. "Is the color of his wings."  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
    When Dean, Sam, and Jimmy returned to the jeweler for the rings, Dean stared at the deep blue metal with a new sense of awe. Cas's wings, which he no longer had now that he was human, had been this color. And he was slightly jealous, knowing that Jimmy had seen his Angel's true form and he, even if Cas got his wings back, would never get to lay eyes upon them.  
  
    Jimmy returned to the hotel after ensuring Dean and Sam that his family would be around for dinner, and the Winchesters returned home. Bobby and Mary helped them bring the purchases into the house, and Dean sat on the living room floor, building the musical swing for his daughter.  
  
    "What do you think?" he asked triumphantly, standing back to observe his work after the last screw was tightened. Bobby looked over from his seat on the sofa, the tiny infant laying against his shoulder.  
  
    "Doesn't matter what we think," he commented. "It's the little one here whose vote counts. You certainly don't think we're gonna take turns trying it out?"  
  
    Dean smiled, pushing himself to his feet and taking the baby into his arms. He whispered theatrically in the baby's ear as he walked her back to the swing.  
  
    "Gran'pa Bobby is an idjit," he said with a smile. Bobby chuckled, trying not to look too pleased with the comment. Dean called out to those who were in the kitchen taking dishes out of the dishwasher and putting things away. "Cas, come here and see this."  
  
    Castiel, followed by Mary and Sam, came in to the living room to watch Dean place his daughter in the swing. Sam sat on the side of the couch, watching his brother with a grin on his face. Castiel was smiling as well, watching Dean with serene affection. Dean gently tucked the baby into the swing, making sure her feet were placed comfortably and she was buckled in before turning on the mechanism that set the cradle in motion. Dean stepped back next to Cas, and the group watched quietly as the baby was lulled by the rocking of the swing. When she yawned, her tiny perfect mouth making a little "o", the group couldn't help but be awed.  
  
    "I know someone else who needs a nap," Mrs. Winchester commented, patting her eldest son on the back. "You did a lot of driving in the last 20 hours. You should go lay down. I'm going to the store to get some things for tonight."  
  
    "We have a list," Sam told her, taking a folded sheet of paper from his pocket. "I can go with you, mom,"  
  
    "Thank you dear," she replied. Sam continued to grin. Mary turned back to her other son and his Angel. "You should both take a nap. There's a busy night ahead and a _big_ day tomorrow."  
  
    "I'll watch the munchkin," Bobby assured them. "You're not going to be any help to anyone drunk and exhausted."  
  
    "I'm not drunk," Dean defended himself. Bobby laughed.  
  
    "Yet," he scoffed. "Go on. Don't worry about a thing,"  
  
    "I think we're being dismissed, Cas," Dean said in mock offense. "I think I'm leaving,"  
  
    Castiel smiled, following Dean from the room and up the stairs to their new bedroom. Dean waited until Castiel entered the room before shutting the door behind them.  
  
    "So," Dean spoke, watching the Angel as he removed his shoes and settled back on the bed. "You like the place, now that we're here?"  
  
    Castiel nodded.  
  
    "It's very comfortable, yes," he answered. He paused a moment, before amending. "California is quite warm."  
  
    Dean chuckled, stripping down to his boxers and t-shirt before climbing into bed beside the other man. He felt sorry for the Angel, whose body temperature was normally a cool fifteen degrees lower than a human's. He had to admit, he missed that himself.  
  
    "I'll do my best not to heat you up too much," Dean told him, drawing in close to Castiel. Cas blushed faintly, shaking his head.  
  
    "Don't worry about me, Dean," he replied. The hunter smiled, slipping his hands over Castiel's hips and pulling him tighter.  
  
    "I love it when you say my name," Dean told him, leaning down to press his lips to the Angel's neck. He heard the older man sigh, and strong arms wrapped around him.  
  
    "Dean," Castiel spoke, but his voice held a bit of warning. "We were instructed to nap... that means sleep."  
  
    Dean sighed, pulling away and rolling onto his back.  
  
    "Spoil sport." he grumbled, but he was smiling. His eyes traveled over Castiel's face, and he realized at that moment why some people were sentimental. "I love you," he spoke quietly, reaching out and touching the Angel's cheek. "You know..." his lips twisted into a slight grin. "I think I'll marry you."  
  
    "You don't want to change your mind?" Castiel asked him. Dean's eyebrows raised.  
  
    "You're going to ask that of a man who just bought a wedding ring and tried to get into your pants, but you turned down?"  
  
    Castiel's expression became wondrously curious, his brows pulling together.  
  
    "You.. you bought me a wedding ring?" he asked. Dean grinned, rising from the bed and picking up a bag from the floor by the door. Castiel sat up and watched him.  
  
    "I bought you a couple things," Dean answered, taking the tie from the bag and handing it to Cas. "Since your suit is dark grey, I thought this would look good on you."  
  
    "Thank you, Dean," Castiel spoke, folding the strip of silk delicately in his hands.  
      
    Dean took the next item from the bag and returned to the bed. Castiel sat the tie aside and looked to the box in the younger man's hand. Dean opened the box, taking out one of the dark grey bands and placing it in Cas's palm. The Angel turned the metal over in his hand, examining the blue undertone of the color. Dean watched him closely, wondering if he would see the inscription. When Castiel's hand's paused, and he raised the band closer to his eyes. Dean bit his lip.  
  
    "... _always your Angel_?" he asked quietly, raising his blue eyes to Dean's. "Even though... I'm not?"  
  
    "Always _my_ Angel, Cas," Dean assured him, a slight blush rising to his face. "You’re my friend... tomorrow you'll be my husband. But you will always be my Angel."  
  
    Castiel sighed, shaking his head.  
  
    "Some days, this doesn't feel real." he said softly. "That... that I must be in Heaven."  
  
    "You and me both, babe," Dean assured him.  
  
    Castiel resisted the urge to put the ring on, placing it gently back in the box and Dean sat it to the side. They lay back down, and Castiel settled into Dean's embrace. The two were quiet a moment and Dean pulled Castiel tighter against him.  
  
    Cas was right - this did feel too good to be real. True, the last thing he would have thought as his dream life would be married to a man, but he loved Castiel with all he had in him now. And that feeling just seemed to be growing every day. He didn't know what he would do if he lost this life, this man.  
  
    It was only a matter of minutes before the two, exhausted from the day's activities, were both asleep. They only got an hour nap before Mrs. Winchester was tapping lightly on the door, beckoning them to wake and get ready for dinner. Dean lay clutching Castiel to him, resistant to wake but knowing that they couldn't stay in bed.  
  
    "Dean," Castiel spoke quietly. Dean groaned, tucking his head down against the Angel's neck.  
  
    "Five more minutes," he grumbled. Castiel smiled, stretching out in spite of Dean's insistence to stay put. Dean's hands pulled at the Angel as he rose from the bed, and when he slipped out of reach, Dean snuggled into the spot he vacated. He stay nestled on the bed, listening to the water in the shower until it stopped. Dean turned to the bathroom, watching as the Angel came back into the room. "How's the water pressure?" he asked, leaning up on his elbow. Castiel gave a small smile.  
  
    "Heavenly," he replied.  
  
    Dean smirked, rising from the bed. He pulled the Angel in toward him to kiss him on the neck as he passed, heading in to take his own shower. He tried not to think about the possibility of this being some sort of fantasy. He wasn't sure he would care if it was.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    "Thank you," Jimmy spoke quietly, lifting his wife's hands to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of it. Amelia gave an amused smile to her husband, shaking her head.  
  
    "What for?" she asked. "For going with you to the grocery store?"  
  
    Jimmy smiled, letting their hands drop but keeping his fingers entwined with hers.  
  
    "No, for... this." the word was vague, but she got his meaning. He continued. "With all of this. With Cas and Dean and... and Mary. With coming out here with me. With... with accepting them."  
  
    "Those boys saved our lives, Jimmy," she spoke resignedly. "Castiel took care of us the best he could. I'm grateful to them. Missing out on two years of our life is better than losing you altogether. And as for Mary," she sighed. "Well, that is a little odd. That she is, or could be, biologically yours..." she sighed. "To be honest, I just don't think about it that way. I think it's easier to think of Castiel as your brother and as Mary as your niece."  
  
    "Well, I don't consider her a daughter," he assured her. "Once I died-"  
  
    "Jim," Amelia spoke, stopping him. Jimmy looked apologetic. "It's okay. You know I don't think you..."  
  
    "Thank you," he laughed, lifting her hand to kiss it once more.  
  
    "Mom," Jimmy and Amelia looked up as their daughter jogged toward them. "I found the fruit trays. They also have fruit salad." she fell into step at her father's side, taking his free hand in her. Jimmy smiled, grateful his daughter didn't consider herself too old to hold his hand. "Can we go to the baby section and get something for Mary?"  
  
    "I knew we shouldn't have stopped at a Super Target," Jimmy commented. Amelia spoke to her daughter.  
  
    "We've already bought gifts for Mary," she explained. "She's only three months old, she doesn't need very much as this age,"  
  
    "But, I didn't get to help pick out the clothes," Claire tried to explain. Jimmy quieted her with nothing but his tone of voice.  
  
    "You heard your mother, Claire" he said, but not unkindly.  
  
    The girl fell silent and looked expectantly to her mother. Amelia looked to her watch.  
  
    "You may pick out _one_ thing," she instructed, and Claire immediately beamed with joy. "Then we really have to go or we'll be late."  
  
    Jimmy and Amelia followed Claire around the infants and toddlers section of the store as the pre-teen rushed from rack to isle, trying to find the perfect gift for her almost-sister. After ten minutes of searching, she selected a package of assorted hair bands and barrettes for newborns and the family returned to the grocery section to buy a fruit salad to take with them to the Winchesters.  
  
    Dean and Castiel's new town house was only fifteen minutes from the store they were shopping at, and the trio approached the house.  
  
    "This is nice," Jimmy commented. "For as expensive as California is, they got a nice piece of property. The neighborhood seems nice."  
  
    Amelia nodded in agreement, taking in the facade of the cute, suburban home on the quiet, shady street. She was actually happy for Dean Winchester. She'd heard enough stories from Jimmy in the last month to know that Dean and his younger brother had a difficult life. She didn't wish them ill, she was grateful to them. And if having them in her life made Jimmy and Claire happy, she would welcome them with open arms.  
  
    After Jimmy knocked, the door was answered quickly by Sam. He smiled widely at them.  
  
    "Welcome!" He embraced Jimmy like a brother and extended a hand to Amelia. "Please, come in."  
  
    "We brought something for desert," she explained, handing him the bowl. "It's just fruit,"  
  
    "It looks amazing," Sam insisted, "One of the better things about California is the variety of produce!" he turned next to the young woman behind the Novaks, and his smile softened. "Hello Claire. It's nice to see you again."  
  
    Claire blushed lightly, edging just slightly closer to her father.  
  
    "Thank you, Sam," she replied. "Is the baby awake?"  
  
    Sam's smile grew wider once again and he motioned them in.  
  
    "You all remember my mom and Bobby," he spoke, quickly darting in to the kitchen to put the fruit in the fridge. He returned as the four adults were finished shaking hands.  
  
    "This is our daughter, Claire," Jimmy spoke, putting his arm around the young blonde. "Claire, this is Mrs. Winchester and Mr. Singer,"  
  
    "Ah, you can call me Bobby," the old hunter spoke. Claire grinned, nodding her head. Mrs. Winchester spoke to her next.  
  
    "Mary's dad just took her up to get changed. She'll be back down in a moment." she turned to the girl's parents. "Would either of you like something to drink?"

    Sam piped up before either could answer.  
      
    "We have bottled water, fruit punch, wine, and beer."  
  
    "Water is fine," Amelia replied, and Jimmy nodded in agreement.  
  
    "Would you like something, Claire?" Sam asked the girl. Claire shook her head, softly thanking him for asking. Jimmy raised an eyebrow and looked to his wife. His expression clearly saying "when did this happen?". His shock at her blushing at Sam was short lived. When he heard her speak next, her voice slightly awed.  
  
    "Castiel,"  
  
    The group turned to the staircase where the Angel appeared, carrying his infant daughter in his arms. Claire finally let go of Jimmy's hand and crossed the room, stopped at the base of the stairs. She smiled happily up at the Angel.  
  
    "Hello Claire," he spoke quietly. "I hope you are well,"  
  
    She nodded, leaning up on her toes to look at the baby.  
  
    "I brought her a gift," she spoke, "May I hold her?"  
  
    Castiel looked up to Jimmy and Amelia, and Jimmy stepped forward.  
  
    "Come sit down next to me buddy," he said to her. "Cas will let you hold her, but you have to be sitting."  
  
    Claire smiled, moving quickly to the sofa to sit at her father's side and looking expectantly up at Castiel. Cas set down beside her and gently lowered the infant into the older child's arms. Amelia folded her arms over he chest, one hand moving up to her mouth. It was quite an odd sight seeing her husband and daughter, with her husband's former body and his daughter...  
  
    "You get used to it," Mary Winchester spoke quietly at her side. Amelia turned to her and Mary smiled. "When you know hunters."  
  
    Amelia nodded.  
  
    "I think I might actually like to try the wine," she said. Mary laughed, putting a motherly arm around the woman (even though she was physically younger) and steering her toward the kitchen.  
  
    "What's this!?" Dean spoke jovially, joining the group downstairs. Jimmy stood, crossing to the younger man to hug him the way he had Sam.  
  
    "The girls are getting acquainted," Jimmy told him, looking to the kitchen where Mary was pouring both herself and Amelia a glass of wine. "All of them."  
  
    After close to an hour of chatting and getting relaxed, Mary and Sam set to preparing dinner for the group and they gathered around the table to have a family meal. Dean had placed Mary's swing at the end of the table next to Claire, so she could play with the baby as she ate. Toward the end of dinner, the conversation inevitably turned to weddings.  
  
    "And it was full seventies fashion of the time," Bobby was telling the amused group. "Luckily, my wife had some sense to tell me I couldn't wear the powder blue suit and to stick with basic black. But it had ruffles."  
  
    "Pictures or it didn't happen," Sam laughed, pointing to his mentor. Bobby smirked, shaking his head and responding before taking a drink from his glass.  
  
    "They're _are_ pictures because it did happen, but I'm not showing your idjits."  
  
    Sam and Dean laughed hardest of the group. Mary spoke next.  
  
    "What about you two," she said to Amelia and Jimmy. "Any style regrets from your wedding."  
  
    Jimmy and Amelia exchanged questioning looks.  
  
    "You go first,"  Jimmy suggested, earning more laughter from the group. Amelia smiled.  
  
    "It wasn't that long ago, so I sure hope we didn't chose anything too dated," she said sheepishly. Jimmy shrugged.  
  
    "Our parents also had a lot of say in it; it was really traditional. Church wedding." Jimmy smiled at his wife and she smiled back as he put his hand on hers.  
  
    "What did your dress look like?" Mary asked the younger woman. Amelia pulled her eyes from the man sitting next to her to address Mrs. Winchester.  
  
    "It was beautiful. Long sleeved with a lace overlay. My bridesmaids dresses were rather unfortunate." she laughed. "Ruffled sleeves and three quarter length skirts - and they were fuchsia! I don't know why any of them still speak to me. There was probably no one looking at me because those dressed were so outrageous."  
      
    Jimmy shook his head.  
  
    "There was no one else in the world that day but you,"      
  
    Mary "awed" and Sam smiled. Dean rose from the table, thumping Jimmy on the back as he passed.  
  
    "Making us all look bad, Jim," he commented with a smirk. "Anyone want another round?"  
  
    "I shouldn't," Jimmy replied. "I'm driving."  
  
    "I can drive," Amelia assured him. "Go ahead."  
  
    "No, I'm good. Thank you Dean," Jimmy said. Dean shrugged.  
  
    "Alright, Just me and Bobby then," he said, taking the older man's glass. Claire looked up to the group when the conversation lulled.  
  
    "Why aren't Castiel and Dean having a wedding?" she asked. The silence thickened a moment before Mrs. Winchester broke the tension.  
  
    "Good question," she demanded. "Why not you two?"  
  
    Castiel looked genuinely stumped. Dean tried to appear nonchalant as he returned with two bottles of beer.  
  
    "Weddings take too long to plan," he told the pre-teen."Besides, neither of us are the wedding type," he turned to Cas, suddenly a little unsure. "Right?"  
  
    Castiel smiled.  
  
    "Yes, Dean," he agreed.  
  
    "Weddings take to long too plan?" Sam chuckled. "How long have you two been engaged?" he teased. Claire turned to the younger Winchester.  
  
    "It's not how long you've been engaged," she said, turning to Castiel. "It's how long you've been in love, right?"  
  
    Castiel turned to look up at Dean. Dean was already watching him.  
  
    "That's true," Dean commented, returning to his seat. Claire smiled, turning to her parents.  
  
    "When do you know you love someone enough to marry them and start a family?" she asked. Jimmy shrugged, turning to his wife.  
  
    "It's different for everyone. Some, know right away. Others are a little more stubborn. Most take quite a while to find the right one."  
  
    Claire considered this information before asking.  
  
    "How old were you and mom when you got married?" she asked. Jimmy paled slightly, looking upon his daughter who was only two years younger than he was when he met his wife, and just shy of five years younger than when he married her.  
  
    "Age isn't important," he replied. "What's important is that we were adults, we graduated high school and we went to college."  
  
    "But what if I miss my true love because I went off to college?" Claire asked. Dean answered this question.  
  
    "True love is worth waiting for," he told her. "If he really loves you... he'll be waiting. And that's a good feeling."  
  
    Sam spoke quickly before too much attention could be drawn to his brother's accidental sentimentality.  
  
    "Besides," he told Claire, rising from his seat and crossing to the baby. "You may find your true love _at_ college." he leaned down and removed Mary from the swing. "Want to help me get her ready for bed?"  
  
    Claire nodded, looking to Amelia and Jimmy for permission. Amelia nodded and the pre-teen stood, following Sam from the room. Bobby smirked, turning to the Novaks.  
  
    "I wish you luck," he said grimly, turning to Cas and Dean. "You too. That's your future when your little tyke grows up."  
  
    "Don't remind me," Dean groaned.  
  
    Sam and Claire returned to the living room with the baby dressed in a cute, floral onsie. Sam lay his niece on a blanket on the floor, and Claire lay down at her side, wiggling her fingers over the baby to get her attention. Sam returned to the kitchen and took his seat beside his mother.  
  
    The conversation changed to more neutral topics - how much they would enjoy California and all of the perks, how they planned to furnish the back patio, and if they planned to stay in this house long. Mary Winchester stood and began to clear the table, and both Sam and Amelia rose to help.  
  
    "Don't you dare," Mary told the other woman. "Sit, relax. This is supposed to be a break for you."  
  
    "We should probably be going," Jimmy commented, looking to his watch. "We're meeting here in the morning, right?"  
  
    "Right," Dean agreed as the group began to rise. "Thank you for coming over."  
  
    "Thank you for having us," Amelia replied. They moved from the dining area into the living room, where both Mary and Claire were sleeping on the floor. Jimmy gave an amused sigh, stepping gingerly over the girl and kneeling beside her.  
  
    "Come on, buddy," he spoke, shaking his daughter gently by the arm. "Were going to go now. Come on,"  
  
    Claire made a small sound of reluctance, but rolled over and sat, reaching for her father to help her to her feet. Jimmy steadied the child, wrapping an arm around her and guiding her to the door.  
  
    "You all have a good night," he said again, handing his keys to his wife as they approached the door. "Thank you again,"  
  
    "Nothing doing. Thank you," Dean replied, walking them to the door. He glanced to Castiel, who was picking their daughter up from her blanket on the floor. "See you in the morning."  
  
    "Wouldn't miss it," Jimmy assured him. "Good night,"  
  
    "Drive safely," Sam called after them. Jimmy and Amelia waved from the car and Mrs. Novak drive them away. Dean shut the door, securing all the locks before turning to his family.  
  
    "Well, I'm gonna hit the hay," he commented, and Castiel turned toward the staircase. Mrs. Winchester stopped them before they would get far.  
  
    "Wait," she said, with a smile. "It's not lucky to spend the night before your wedding together. Dean, you should sleep downstairs with Sam."  
  
    "What?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows incredulously. "Mom, we have a kid together. I don't think one night -"  
  
    "It's tradition," she reminded him. Dean stared at his mother a moment. His beautiful, sweet, lovely mother - who wanted nothing more than to have the traditions of a non-hunter's family. Normal, everyday traditions. He nodded.  
  
    "Okay, that's fine." he turned to Castiel. "You fine?"  
  
    "I will manage," the Angel assured him.  
  
    "Aren't you going to ask me if I want you bunking with me?" Sam asked with a grin.  
  
    "Nope," Dean announced. "Don't care. I'll be back. Gonna get my things."  
  
    Dean followed Castiel upstairs and washed himself up for bed while the Angel was putting Mary down for the night. He returned to the bedroom, leaning over the cradle to kiss his daughter good night.  
  
    "Don't forget to set the alarm on your phone," Dean suggested, turning to Castiel. The Angel nodded.  
  
    "I won't forget. I... I feel I won't be able to fall asleep at all."  
  
    Dean grinned slightly, crossing to the other man.  
  
    "I know what you mean. But try," he ran his hands over Castiel's arms, his eyes roaming over the shorter man's handsome face. "Sleep well, buddy," he murmured, leaning forward and kissing him. Castiel kissed him back, letting Dean pull him into an embrace. "I love you,"  
  
    "I love you too," Cas replied. "Good night."  
  
    With reluctance, Dean pulled away, taking his pillow from the bed and heading downstairs. He said good night to his mom and Bobby, making sure all of the doors were secured before moving down the hall to Sam’s room. Sam was already in his pajamas, turning down the sheet on the bed.  
  
    "I hope you don't mind," Dean commented, tossing his pillow onto the side of the bed that was vacant. Sam smiled, shaking his head.  
  
    "If it makes mom happy," he laughed. His next words were spoke with exaggerated exasperation. "It _is_ only one night,"  
  
    Dean gave a huff of laughter, pulling his socks off and getting into the bed. Sam turned off the lights, climbing in beside his brother. They both lay in the silence, staring up through the darkness at the ceiling.  
  
    "Hey, Dean," Sam spoke softly, knowing his brother was still awake. He received a sound of response, so he continued. "Tomorrow... you are marrying Castiel..."  
  
    "Really?" Dean asked, dryly. Sam gave a small laugh.  
  
    "No, I mean... are you nervous at all?"  
  
    Dean considered the question. He was not nervous in the slightest to take that man as his spouse, for the rest of his life. He was nervous that it was too good to be reality.  
  
    "Nope." Dean replied. "I know it may seem weird, or rushed, or just... weird to you Sammy... but, really... I couldn't be happier."  
  
    Sam was quiet a moment before speaking again.  
  
    "And... don't get mad when I ask this... but..." Dean rolled his eyes, waiting for the inevitable. "I know that you love him... but... are you...I mean..."  
  
    "Are you trying to ask me if I'm okay with Cas being the only person I get it on with for the rest of eternity?" Dean asked with a sigh. Sam's silence answered for him. "I'm as surprised as you are, Sammy," he said. "Just know I'm totally cool. Cas and I are happy. You don't have to hear all the gory details."  
  
    Sam rolled onto his side. He could just make out his brother's profile in the dark.  
  
    "Dean," he said quietly. "If there is anything you need to talk about... you know I'm here for you. I know you don't like to talk about feelings, but that never stopped you from telling me every hard and wet detail of your past encounters, no matter how much I covered my ears and screamed. " Dean chuckled. Sam gave a small laugh. "So... if you need to talk... I dunno..."  
  
    Dean could feel the heat on his face and was glad for the darkness.  
  
    "You want to hear all about how this human lays it to an Angel of the lord?"  
  
    "No," Sam scoffed. "I just... I just know you don't have anyone else to talk to. Who are you going to discuss your relationship with? Bobby? Jimmy? Possibly Amelia?"  
  
    "Why do I need to talk about it?" Dean asked. Sam sighed, rolling onto his back again.  
  
    "I'm just saying if you do," he replied.  
  
    Dean thought about it. Yeah, he loved to share all the horny details with Sam for every conquest he had. But those things... that level of detail, would just seem disrespectful to Castiel. It made him feel slightly guilty for all of the girl's he possibly hurt running his mouth the way he did. A sick feeling in his stomach pulsed at the thought of his Mary meeting a man like him some day.  
  
    "Sammy," he spoke, his tone serious. "I get what you mean, but I just... . But just know that I love him. That all the... "needs" are met... I'm happy, he's happy...” Dean smiled, weakly. “those funny little domestic things that I never thought were important like... like making someone's coffee or picking up their laundry, I dunno... even that makes me happy." Sam smiled, listening to his brother speak without interruption. This was what he needed to hear. That his brother was just as happy as he'd hoped. Dean sighed. "I like the idea of having this life with Cas... making breakfast and mowing lawns and watching tv... taking Mary to her first day of school and going to the park and getting a pool..." he rubbed his neck, a grin on his face now that didn't want to leave. "I get he's not what I thought I wanted at first, but when I think about it... he's got really pretty eyes... and when he does smile," Sam grinned at the sound his brother made at the idea of Castiel's smile. "That sounded a little gay," Dean said soberly, hearing his brother chuckle. "But really... don't worry about me Sammy. Cas and I are good. Real good."  
  
    "Good," Sam said, "I'm glad. I mean, I can tell you love him, but it's good to know that you... you know... are happy."  
  
    "Oh Sammy," Dean responded, rolling onto his side to face the opposite side of the room. "Happy doesn't begin to cover it. Best damn sex I've ever had.   I mean, oh my god!"  
  
    Sam laughed out loud, pushing his brother in the back and rolling over in the opposite direction. There was quiet between them a moment before Dean spoke again.  
  
    "I getting married tomorrow, Sam," he said softly. Sam smiled, trying to fully experience his brother's happiness without mourning his own.  
  
    "I know Dean," he replied. "It will be perfect."

 

~~~~~~~~~~


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cas," he began gently. "You okay?"  
> Castiel took a deep breath.  
> "I have my grace back," he said. Dean's eyes grew wide and reached out for Castiel, touching his face.  
> "That's... are you sure?"  
> "Yes," Castiel replied, holding out his hand and showing him the crystal phial. "It's right here,"  
> "Oh," Dean said with a laugh. "I see... why haven't you opened it up?'  
> Castiel shook his head.  
> "I wanted to talk with you about it first," he explained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this. Please let me know if anything is kooky. :)

    Dean slowly blinked his eyes open. They were hot and sticky, and he wasn't able to see right away. The room was still dark, and he could feel air on his exposed skin, but he felt suffocated.  
  
    Squinting in the dark, the room slowly came into focus. There was a amber glow that reflected off of the angles and planes of objects in the room, but he couldn't make out what those objects were. The heat seemed to swell around him, and he struggled to move. His body felt heavy, and a deep ache was just beginning to grow in his right shoulder. He wasn't sure why he couldn't move. He turned to look for Sam at his side.  
  
    "Sleep well?"  
      
    The soft lisping voice struck Dean's ear and he bristled, feeling his gut clench painfully. A rush of flame ignited the room, bringing sudden exposure to his surroundings. Metal and wood stood out before him and he looked up at the chains threading through his flesh, holding him against the wall. A moan of despair escaped his lips before he could stop himself.  
  
    "Well, well, well..." Alistair moved out from the shadow, strolling over to where Dean hung. "I have to say, when I concocted this new little torture, I didn't realize it would be so effective." the demon reached out and stroked his hand across Dean's face. Dean recoiled, turning his face away. "But you fell for it. My strong little hunter - so tough, so independent, so resolute... and at the first thought of salvation you crumpled like a used tissue."  
  
    Dean felt the tendon's in his throat tense and he could feel the sulfur burn his sinuses. He couldn't respond to Alastair's words, he was stunned, in shock. Even though it hurt to breath, his lungs were rising and collapsing like bellows, and he was almost hyperventilating. A small voice in the back of his head, more sickening and sarcastic than Alastair could ever dream, called to him:  
  
    " _You should have known_..."  
  
    Alastair ran his fingers lovingly over one of his torture instruments, turning back to Dean.  
  
    "Did you really think that it was that easy to get out of your contract? To get out of Hell?" he laughed, moving back to the hunter and turning his face so they were eye to eye. "Did you really think god would want to save you?" he sneered."Did you really think angels exist? And if they did, they would rescue you?" he clicked his tongue in admonishment, dropping his hand and trailing his fingers down Dean's chest. Dean twisted away, his jaw tensing as he failed to think of any retort. The demon continued. "Although, I have to say Dean," he said softly, shaking his head. "I had no idea this little device of mine would reveal the ways in which I could _reward_ you for your services well rendered." he leaned up, his breath tickling Dean's ear as he finished. "If I had known how hard you could cum getting fucked in the ass, I wouldn't be saving that for punishment."  
  
    "Get off me!" Dean growled, tears stinging in his eyes as the chains pulled painfully at his skin. His heart ached for Cas and the life he had only imagined. But the thought that Cas didn't even exist... there was nothing to live for. Why would he create a life centered around a man he never met?  
  
    Alastair chuckled.  
  
    "Tsk tsk... Don't worry Dean, I plan to try you out properly, and not in a daydream." he spoke leisurely. There was a loud clank and the chains holding Dean upright clattered to the floor, dropping Dean with them. Dean felt his heart begin to hammer in panic. The demon continued. "Don't get hard just yet," he advised, dragging Dean to his feet. "No time for play when there's work to do."  
  
    Dean felt sick; his body heavy with disappointment and regret. How could he have been so stupid?  
  
    As he staggered toward the cleaving table, the dread welled up in him just as it had every time. Why had he given up so soon? This was certainly a sin not worthy of redemption. How could he have ever dreamed that god would send an angel to save his soul... to save his life?  
  
    The table seemed empty as he approached, looming like a behemoth rising from the stone floor. Dean's hands balled into fists, wondering what poor soul would be laid before him this time.  
  
    His heart stopped beating.  
  
    Laying in the middle of the stark metal table, was a naked, helpless baby girl.  
  
    Her chubby arms and legs shook from exposure and she consoled herself by sucking on her hand. She turned her wide, blue eyes to the hunter, and Dean felt something inside him break, something that would make him different for the rest of eternity. He heard the demon's voice whisper in his ear.  
  
    "You know what to do, Dean..."  
  
    He knew what to do.  
  
    He knew what to do.  
  
    Dean reached out, his hands slipping under the tiny infant, pulling her securely to his chest. The baby curled against the warmth of his chest, and he cradled her gently. Alastair's next words were more insistent.  
  
    "You know what you have to do, Dean," he hissed. Dean nodded.  
  
    "I know what to do," he spoke assuredly. "...I'm going to have faith."  
      
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean jerked awake so violently, Sam rolled out of bed and assumed a defensive posture on the floor.  
  
    "Dean!" he exclaimed, rushing to turn on the light and returning quickly to his brother's side. "Are you okay?"  
  
    Dean exhaled sharply, sitting up and burying his face in his hands. Sam placed a hand on the older man's back, patting him gently.  
  
    "Dean?" he asked quietly. "You okay?"  
  
    His brother took a deep breath, sitting back up straight and letting the breath out slowly. He nodded.  
  
    "I'm okay, Sammy," he said, his voice hoarse. Dean cleared his throat, dragging a hand over his chin. "I'm okay."  
  
    Sam watched him quietly a moment.  
  
    "Bad dream?" he asked. Dean sighed heavily, turning his red rimmed eyes to his brother.  
  
    "Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah... but... I know it's not real. I'm okay."  
  
    Sam nodded, watching Dean rise from the bed and cross to the bathroom. The older man turned on the cold water, cupping it in his hands and bringing it to his lips. Dean refilled his hand and splashed the water on his face. He placed his hands on the side of the sink, leaning over the basin for a moment. He straighten up, looking at himself in the mirror before he grabbed a hand towel and drying his face. When his breathing had returned to some semblance of normal, he returned to the room.  
  
    "I'll be right back," he told his brother. Sam didn't attempt to stop him or reply, and Dean moved silently through the house and up the stairs to the room he shared with Castiel.  
  
    The Angel was sleeping on his stomach, his arms beneath the pillow. Dean watched him just a moment before moving over to the cradle and kneeling at its side. Mary was peacefully asleep, looking the picture of heaven. Dean reached into the cradle and touched his daughter's soft honey colored hair, his fingers trailing down her chubby cheek. She was so beautiful. The physical embodiment of the love he and Cas had for one another. And she was real. And this life was real. He had faith. He had faith in Cas.  
  
    "Dean?"  
  
    Dean looked up and Castiel was sitting, his hair adorably disheveled. He narrowed his eyes, his head tilting to the side as he looked upon his fiance.  
  
    "Sorry babe," Dean whispered, rising to his feet and crossing to the bed. He sat down on the edge of the mattress, reaching out to run his finger's through the Angel's hair. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was up, so I thought I'd check on the baby."  
  
    Castiel nodded solemnly.  
  
    "Did you have to urinate?" he asked darkly, understanding in his tone. "One of the more inconvenient parts of being a human."  
  
    Dean smiled, leaning forward and hugging the other man. Castiel was warm and solid, and Dean held him tightly for a moment. Castiel's voice was soft when he spoke again.  
  
    "Are you alright, Dean?" he asked. Dean slipped his other arm around the Angel, moaning with contentment as Cas returned the embrace.  
  
    "I'm great," he murmured. "I'm great... I can't wait until tomorrow."  
  
    Castiel smiled, leaning back from the hunter.  
  
    "It's already tomorrow, Dean," he told him. "It's one a.m."  
  
    "What do you know," Dean remarked. Castiel looked to him, hopefully.  
  
    "Will you stay with me?"  
  
    Dean sighed, reaching out to draw his finger's across Castiel's cheek.  
      
    "You heard mom," he said, reluctantly, his fingers trailing over the Angel's jaw. "It's tradition. Just a few more hours. Go back to sleep."  
  
    Castiel sighed, letting Dean kiss him on the forehead before he rose.  
  
    "See you soon," Dean commented, pulling the blankets back over his Angel. "Sleep."  
  
    "You too, Dean," Castiel requested. Dean gave him a small smile before he left the room, returning to the basement where Sam sat on the bed waiting for him.  
  
    "You okay?" Sam asked immediately. Dean held up a hand, taking a moment to use the restroom before coming back in to answer Sam's question.  
  
    "I'm fine," he insisted. "I just had a nightmare. I... I needed to check on Mary and Cas,"  
  
    Sam frowned, concerned for his brother.  
  
    "... you want to talk about it?" he asked. Dean sighed, laying back on the bed and pulling the pillow under his head.  
  
    "Not really, Sam, to be honest." he replied. Sam lay down next to him, mirroring his posture. "It was horrible and awful, but it's just a nightmare...I'm good. I just want to get some sleep."  
  
    "Okay," Sam agreed, leaning behind himself to turn the light back out. "If... if you want to snuggle-"  
  
    "Shut up," Dean snorted, shoving Sam in the shoulder. He could hear Sam chuckle and then there was silence. Dean couldn't get his brain to settle, pieces of the dream assaulting his mind. He felt ashamed and worried, but unable to reconcile why he should exactly. He sighed heavily, refolding the pillow and adjusting his position. "Hey Sammy," he spoke. Sam could tell by his tone he was serious.  
  
    "Yeah,"  
  
    Dean's next words were a moment in coming.  
  
    "Sam... are you... creeped out by me and Cas?"  
  
    Of all the things Sam was expecting Dean to say, that was not one of them.  
  
    "What?!" he asked, making a motion to move. Dean stopped him.  
  
    "Don't turn on the light, just... just answer."  
  
    "Of course not," Sam insisted. "Dean, I don't know what you were dreaming about, but it was just a dream. I love you, and I love Cas. I'm happy for you. What.. what you and Cas... do... I mean... That's... that doesn't matter to me."  
  
    Dean pressed a hand to his eyes, his next question muffled slightly.  
  
    "You think less of me?"  
  
    "Dean," Sam repeated with a slight smile. "You're not the first guy who's graduated from the school of 'if it feels good, do it'. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I mean...there is a reason people do it,"  
  
    Dean nodded in agreement, shrouded by the blackness. That was an understatement - it was fucking amazing. He could feel Sam shift on the bed, and he could feel the younger man looking at him in the dark.  
  
    "I'm going to tell you something," Sam began quietly, earning Dean's attention. "And you can't give me any shit."  
  
    "Yeah?" Dean asked, curious to see where this was going. Sam cleared his throat.  
  
    "When I was in college-"  
  
    "Isn't this how these stories always start?" Dean asked wryly, "College? That den of debauchery."  
  
    "Just shut up and listen," Sam laughed. "Well... Jess was studying to get her nursing degree, so she used to use me as a guinea pig for the things she was learning - taking heart rate and pulse and blood sugar, things like that."  
  
    "I already like where this is going," Dean commented, trying to smile. Sam laughed nervously.  
  
    "Anyway," he continued. "One October, Jess bought this sexy nurse's costume; she said it was her last chance to wear it without it being weird. Well, about two weeks before Halloween, Jess was trying in on and was giving me a hard time - she used to say I was too uptight, so she was joking that she was going to examine me and find out how to loosen me up..." Dean smiled at the laugh in Sam's voice. "Uh, anyway, one thing lead to another and um... she, uh, taught me a little something about the prostate..."  
  
    "You're kidding?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow. "Go Jess..."  
  
    "Yeah, well," Sam said, running a hand through his hair. "I wouldn't of said no if she wanted to do it again, so - there you go. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Pleasure's pleasure..." Dean was quiet for longer than Sam felt he would normally be with this topic. He narrowed his eyes, trying to make out more of Dean's features in the dim light. "Dean?" he prompted, hoping for some response.  
  
    "That was the October I showed up, wasn't it?" his brother asked quietly. Sam didn't have time to answer when Dean spoke again. "I should never have come after you," he said with regret.  
  
    "It wouldn't have changed anything," Sam told him.  
  
    "It would have given you a few more days with the girl you loved," Dean explained.  
  
    "It's not your fault," Sam said quietly. "Don't feel guilty."  
  
    "It's hard not to," Dean replied. And Sam knew why - Dean had everything he needed to be perfectly happy. But there was two things Dean couldn't see - that his happiness felt too perfect because he couldn't see others unhappiness, and that happiness felt unnatural to him, because growing up, he didn't know the feeling.  
  
    "Well, my point is-" Sam said firmly. "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It matters that you're happy. That Cas is happy... I'm happy for you, Dean."  
  
    "Thank you, Sam," Dean spoke. He would have normally ended with a joke of some sort, but he felt sobered by Sam's misfortune. He reached up, ruffling his brother's hair before closing his eyes and trying to sleep.  
  
    Sam sighed, closing his eyes as well. He was happy for Dean and he knew that happiness could happen for him too again, someday. He couldn't dwell on it now that Dean was so happy. Tomorrow would be an amazing day, and he was going to make sure Dean enjoyed it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    At six a.m. the next morning, the Winchester household began to stir. Castiel was up first, rising with the hungry cry of his daughter as opposed to his alarm. Dean and Bobby were up next, years of a hunter's life being an internal wake-up call. Bobby made a pot of coffee, taking a cup and setting out on the back porch to watch the sunrise. Dean passed him on his way out, getting an affection pat on the shoulder as he passed. Dean was already smiling when he entered the kitchen, seeing Cas and his daughter just made the smile wider.  
  
    "'Morning," Dean greeted, leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead. He leaned over and kissed the Angel as well.  
  
    "Good morning," Cas returned. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
    "The second half was pretty good," he replied, pouring a cup of coffee for himself. "You?"  
  
    "It was fine," Castiel responded. "It was a little lonely."  
  
    "It'll be the last time," Dean told him, resting a hand on the Angel's hip as he leaned in to lay a kiss on the exposed area of skin above his t-shirt collar where his neck met his shoulder.  
  
    "Until you go to training," Castiel reminded him. Dean was placing another kiss on his Angel's neck, murmuring against his warm skin.  
  
    "Don't start,"  
  
    Both men pulled away when a light voice spoke.  
  
    "Now, now boys,"  
  
    They turned to see Mrs. Winchester, smiling brightly as she entered the kitchen.  
  
    "Morning mom," Dean greeted, a slight blush to his face as he kissed her cheek.  
  
    "Good morning to you, too," she returned. "What would you boys like for breakfast?"  
  
    "I don't think I could eat," Castiel admitted. "My stomach is... not well."  
  
    "Aw," Mary said sympathetically, patting his arm. "That's just nerves. I'll make you some toast."  
  
    The group was joined shortly by Sam. He staggered into the room, yawning widely and taking a seat at the table next to Dean.  
  
    "Morning," he spoke, leaning across the table to touch the baby's cheek. "What's for breakfast?"  
  
    "What would you like?" Mary asked. Dean spoke before Sam could reply.  
  
    "A haircut?"  
  
    Sam grimaced.  
  
    "How about French toast?" he responded. Dean turned excitedly to his mother.  
  
    "Yeah!"  
  
    Mary laughed, patting Dean on the head.  
  
    "I think I could do that,"  
  
    Bobby returned in time for the presentation of French toast. Mary forced a slice of plain toast on Castiel before she would let him leave the table, and he left the baby with her father so he could go up to dress.  
  
    Castiel couldn't understand the odd, twisting feeling in his stomach. He was happy and looking forward to being Dean's spouse - officially, by human standards - so he couldn't explain why he felt a little nauseous. After showering and brushing his teeth, Castiel pulled on his boxers and socks before using the hair dryer to banish most of the moisture from his hair. He returned to the bedroom, donning the dress shirt that Mary had ironed for him the night before. He took a deep breath, wishing that the nervous thrum in his stomach would cease.  
  
    On instinct, Cas crossed to the window where a warm patch of sunlight was cast onto the floor. He dropped to his knees, closing his eyes and turning his face up into the light.  
  
    "Father," he spoke quietly, but confidently. "I'm not sure if this is your will or not, but I know that all that is in heaven and earth is within your sight. I hope that my life so far has been more pleasing to you, than displeasing. And I hope, more than anything, that my love for Dean and his love for me, is pleasing to you. For I am so happy, Father. Happier than an Angel should be allowed. I thank you for this opportunity, for blessing me so much..." Castiel took a deep breath, licking his lips and tightening his eyes closed. "And as grateful as I am, I know that I shouldn't be allowed any other blessings, but Father, if I am allowed just _one more_ , please hear my prayer." he brought his hands up, clasping them in front of his heart. "I know that Dean is happy with our good fortune, but I know that he cannot be truly happy until Sam has a measure of his own good fortune. So this is what I pray of you Father, that you please find it in your will to share some of these bountiful blessings with my brother Sam. For he is good and kind and is not responsible for the misfortunes brought upon him by Azazel. If it within anyone's power to remedy, it is within yours. Please Father... amen..."  
  
    "Touching,"  
  
    Castiel turned sharply to the voice behind him, his mouth falling open as he looked upon the men behind him.  
  
    "Brothers," he spoke, surprised. "What are you doing here?"  
  
    Gabriel was standing with his hands on his hips and Balthazar was setting on the bed, leaning back on his hands.  
  
    "So, is this what humans wear on their wedding day?" Balthazar asked, giving his younger brother an appraising look. "Quite daring. But black socks?"  
  
    Castiel looked down at himself.  
  
    "I'm not dressed yet," he explained, crossing to the closet and pulling on his pants. "But, what are you doing here? How... how did you know I was getting married?"  
   
    Gabriel gave him an unamused smirk.  
  
    "Funny we didn't hear that from you," he said dryly. "Had to hear it through the grapevine."  
  
    Castiel dropped his eyes, feeling slightly ashamed. He tucked his shirt in, self consciously.  
  
    "I... I didn't think you approved."  
  
    Balthazar scoffed.  
  
    "Of course we don't approve," he told the younger Angel. "But you're our brother. We love you. You think once Raphael tossed you from Heaven that we gave up on you?"  
  
    Castiel looked up, touched.  
  
    "Forgive my lack of faith," he asked them, "I... I didn't think you would want anything to do with my human life. I... I am human now..."  
  
    Gabriel lay a hand on his shoulder.  
  
    "Does it look like we've ever shied away from hanging around humans?" he asked. Castiel raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "I can't provide the type of human companionship you usually seek out," he told them. Both older men laughed. Castiel looked from one to the other. "Honestly, I thank you for coming to see me. I appreciate it."  
  
    "Well," Balthazar told him, uncrossing his long legs and rising to his feet. "We aren't just here to wish you well." he explained. "We've also come with a gift." Castiel watched with narrow eyed curiosity as Balthazar reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out a small crystal phial.  
  
    "My grace," Castiel breathed, shocked. Gabriel clapped him on the shoulder.  
  
    "Sorry it's not a blender," he said, with a sigh. "And it wasn't on your registry."  
  
    Castiel ignored the sarcasm, reaching out and taking the phial in his hands. Both of the older angels watched him quietly as he turned the glowing crystal over in his palm. Castiel looked up at them.  
  
    "What... what happened to it?"  
  
    Gabriel sighed.  
  
    "We don't know. Raphael claims it wasn't him. It was... damaged somehow."  
  
    "How did you get him to return it?"  
  
    "Joshua," Balthazar answered. "He told Raphael that the command cam from 'on high'. He was pretty convincing."  
  
    Castiel's eyes widened.  
  
    "Did it?" he asked. Balthazar looked regretful.  
  
    "We don't know. But, Joshua was pretty convincing and you've had stranger intervention in the past... aren't you going to open it?"  
  
    Castiel turned back to the grace in his hands. He shook his head.  
  
    "I don't know..." he replied. "I... I want to live my life with Dean. I... I want to grow old with him." he looked up at his brothers. "I don't want to be an Angel... if it means that I am separated from him."  
  
    Balthazar closed his eyes, shaking his head. Gabriel brought his hand back to his brother's shoulder.  
  
    "Cas," he said, gently. "I'm not sure your grace is stable enough to return you to a full Angel. But, it is who you are. If Dean loves you, he'll want to be with you."  
  
    Castiel looked back down to the phial, considering those words.  
  
    "I'll think about it. I'll discuss it with Dean," he told them. "Will you two not come to see me get married?"  
  
    "I don't know Cas," Balthazar began, but Gabriel cut him off.  
  
    "We'll be there."  
  
    Castiel smiled at them, his expression barely registered before his brothers were gone.  
  
    After donning his shoes, Castiel picked up his tie and returned downstairs. Mary was the only one of the household still in the kitchen, but she was now joined by the Novaks. Jimmy was holding Cas's daughter, but he smiled broadly when he saw the Angel.  
  
    "You clean up pretty nice," Jimmy said to him. Castiel looked down at himself.  
  
    "That you," he replied. "I just took a shower."  
  
    Both Jimmy and Amelia grinned at Castiel's naivete. Castiel turned to Mary.  
  
    "Where is Dean?" he asked.  
  
    "He's downstairs with Sam, dear," Mary told him. "You two need to hurry up. We need to leave in twenty minutes."  
  
    Castiel nodded, hearing Jimmy offer to help get the baby ready as he took the stairs to the basement.  
  
    "Dean?" he spoke, stepping in to Sam's room. Sam was setting on the edge of the bed, putting on his dress shoes. Dean poked his head out of the bathroom.  
  
    "Hey," he grinned, looking the Angel over. "Need help with your tie?"  
  
    Cas looked down at the strip of fabric in his hands before turning back to the hunter. He didn't answer the question, instead speaking what was at the forefront of his mind.  
  
    "You look handsome," he said. "And I need to talk to you."  
  
    Sam gave a snort of laughter, rising from his seat and crossing the room.  
  
    "I'll be upstairs," he spoke. Dean watched Castiel curiously, something in his expression concerning him.  
  
    "Cas," he began gently. "You okay?"  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath.  
  
    "I have my grace back," he said. Dean's eyes grew wide and reached out for Castiel, touching his face.  
  
    "That's... are you sure?"  
  
    "Yes," Castiel replied, holding out his hand and showing him the crystal phial. "It's right here,"  
  
    "Oh," Dean said with a laugh. "I see... why haven't you opened it up?'  
  
    Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "I wanted to talk with you about it first," he explained. Dean's brow furrowed and he took the tie from Castiel's hand and brought it around his neck.  
  
    "What's to talk about?" he asked. "Your an Angel, that's your mojo. Don't you need it?"  
  
    "Dean," Cas spoke softly, "There is more." Dean paused, looked into Castiel's blue eyes. "My grace has been damaged. Even if I rehabit it inside of me, I may not be an Angel."  
  
    "Damaged?" Dean demanded. "Damaged how? Who did it?!"  
  
    "I don't know," Castiel told him, "It doesn't matter. I don't need to have my grace to be happy."  
  
    "Cas," Dean told him firmly, placing his hands on the Angel's arms. "Grace or no grace, it's all the same to me. But you're an Angel, you've given up so much to be with me. So what if you only have a little mojo? You're not as happy as you could be being a human. And if..." he sighed. "If having your grace back means someday... someday we can have more kids..." he shrugged, bringing his hands to the Angel's face. Dean kissed him, gently. "And if I ever find out who hurt one atom of you," he said grimly. "I will gank them, no question."  
  
    Castiel had not considered children. He got a faraway look in his eyes as he imagine his life with Dean, with several little Winchesters to keep Mary company - brothers and sisters, like he'd had.  
  
    "You're right," he said. "I will open it. But Dean," he looked directly into the hunter's face as he spoke. "If it prevents me from growing in this life with you, if it causes you to out-age me, I will pull it back out myself."  
  
    "Don't talk like that, Cas," Dean insisted. "Things are going to be fine." he adjusted the tie around Cas's neck, expertly crossing one end over the other and knotting it neatly at his throat. He fixed Cas's collar before bringing his hands up to cup his face. "It's you and me, buddy," he spoke quietly. "Whatever happens, okay?" Castiel nodded. "You coming up?"  
  
    "I will in a moment," he replied. Dean gave him a quick kiss on the mouth before heading back upstairs. Castiel turned to look down at the phial in his hands, turning it slowly over as he examined the injured grace. What if the damage was only to the part that would allow him and Dean to have more children? What if that was Raphael's punishment to him? Would it ever be fixable?  
  
    Taking a deep breath, Cas pulled the stopper from the crystal bottle and watched as the silver-blue mist rose out of the container and began winding its way around him. He breathed steadily, letting the cool energy slip past his lips and fill him with its power. When the last of the grace had joined him, Cas brought a hand to his chest, feeling a odd surge of familiarity. His wings stretched in the confining space and shook to divest themselves of the ache of disuse. He couldn't feel exactly what was off, what was no longer a part of him. He supposed he would find out one day.  
  
    He turned toward the stairs, realizing that he no longer needed to use the mundane human travel method of walking from place to place. However, he had grown accustomed to it. When he re-joined the group in the living room, he paused for a moment to look at their faces - such happiness for him and Dean.  
  
    Dean turned to Castiel, his eyes sweeping over the other man as if he would be able to tell from sight alone if he had opened the grace. It didn't matter to him, so long as he was just Cas. Dean smiled.  
  
    "You ready to go?" he asked. The question drew everyone's eyes to the Angel, and he nodded.  
  
    "Yes," he answered. "I am."  
  
    The group gathered their things, leaving the town house and piling into two cars. Mrs. Winchester and Bobby rode in the Impala with Dean, Cas and Mary, while Sam went with the Novak's. The courthouse was only a twenty minute drive and soon they were entering the grand, echoey building. Dean turned to his brother, concern on his face.  
  
    "You got the rings?" he asked, his hand's searching his own empty pockets.  
  
    "Yep," Sam assured him, taking the box from inside his jacket. "And the license. It's fine." Dean nodded, letting out an unsteady breath. Sam grinned. "You're okay," he added. Dean nodded again, looking to Castiel who was holding their daughter. A bit of his anxiety ceased. Mary was dressed in a fluffy white dress embroidered with red hearts, tiny red satin bows on each puffy sleeve. She looked the part of an angel, while Cas... Cas looked like a god. Dean smiled to himself. When that had happened, when he could look at the other man and feel that visceral swooping sensation in his gut, he wasn't sure - but Castiel was handsome, watching Dean with curiosity.  
  
    "I'm going to go check on the time," Dean told them. "I'll be right back."  
  
    He left the group and walked into the clerk’s office. It was mostly empty; two other couples who had just completed their own nuptials were filling out papers. Dean approached the desk, waiting his turn behind a short, thin man with bushy hair.  
  
    "... Chuck?"  
  
    The prophet turned to him, a look of pleasant surprise on his face.  
  
    "Dean!" he greeted, "What are you doing here?" the woman at the counter drew his attention back and Dean waited until he turned back to address him.  
  
    "I could ask the same of you," Dean replied. "Another writer's conference?"  
  
    "No," Chuck replied excitedly. "Comic-con." Dean frowned. "I'm getting my vendor's license for a booth."  
  
    "What are you selling?" Dean asked grimly. The shorter man laughed, a bit too nervously for Dean's liking.  
  
    "Nothing to worry about," he assured him. "What are you doing here?"  
  
    Dean blushed slightly.  
  
    "Getting married," he replied. Chuck smiled widely as Dean turned to the clerk. "Um, I'm just checking on the schedule."  
  
    "Last name of the couple?" she asked. Dean cleared his throat.  
  
    "Winchester and Novak,"  
  
    The girl checked the computer and smiled up at him.  
  
    "Judge Kimble is running on schedule. You can enter the courtroom at five till ten."  
  
    "Thanks," he turned back to the prophet who was still smiling.  
  
    "Congratulations Dean. I forgot that was today."  
  
    Dean gave a self satisfied grin and he and the older man walked away from the counter together.  
  
    "Will you... " Dean shrugged. "Will you stay and join us?"  
  
    An odd looked passed through the man's eyes, but he smiled and nodded.  
  
    "I would be honored, Dean," he answered. "Yeah, I'd love that."  
  
    As they stepped back out into the hall, Dean called to the group.  
  
    "Look who I found!" he announced. Castiel looked the most surprised.  
  
    "Chuck Shurley,' he spoke, awed. "The prophet,"  
  
    "Prophet?" Amelia repeated, to which Jimmy murmured.  
  
    "Don't ask,"  
  
    "I hope you don't mind; Dean invited me to witness your vows," Chuck spoke to Castiel. The Angel shook his head.  
  
    "No, I don't mind. I am honored."  
  
    Chuck smiled at Castiel's reverence, but his eyes moved down to the infant in his arms.  
  
    "So... this is Mary?" he asked, tilting his head as he looked down into the little girl's cherubic face.  
  
    "Yes," Cas replied. "We love her very much, but she is a nephilim... god may not approve."  
  
    Chuck shrugged, reaching out to touch the back of the baby's tiny fist.  
  
    "I wouldn't know, but..." his eyes took in the child's features, the mix of Winchester and Novak, but oddly enough more like Cas than Jimmy. "I don't see how he could disapprove of something so cute. Something born of nothing but love."  
  
    "Thank you," Castiel replied. "Would you like to hold her? Most people enjoy that."  
  
    "Uh," Chuck responded, taking a step away. "I.. I don't think-"  
  
    "It won't kill you," Dean assured him, taking the little girl from Cas and turning to the writer. "Come on, arms out,"  
  
    Chuck continued to stammer a weak refusal, but Dean heard none of it. He placed the baby into the shorter man's arms. Chuck froze, but held the infant securely, looking down into her wide, blue eyes. He was quiet a moment, the group watching him.  
  
    "She's beautiful Castiel," he spoke quietly. "I'm... I'm truly happy for you,"  
  
    Cas smiled proudly, looking from Mary to Dean.  
  
    "Thank you," he said.  
  
    "Guys," Jimmy interrupted looking to his watch. "We should go in,"  
  
    Dean and Castiel turned to each other, both had the same nervously pleased expression. Dean raised an eyebrow, addressing his soon-to-be husband.  
  
    "It's show time,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dean," Castiel spoke, his rough voice quiet. "When I first met you, I never imagined that this is where life could bring us,"  
>  “You and me both, baby," Dean laughed, thinking back to that day. He ran his fingers over the Angel's chest where so many scars should be. But the Angel’s skin was smooth, tan, and perfect. "I mean, I stabbed you in the heart."  
>  "It's alright," Castiel assured him, gently caressing the hunter’s back. "You fixed it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I just want to note that I saved all the people that died after season 4 in case you recognize faces that shouldn't be there... I hope you all enjoy this. :)

    The group walked in to the large courtroom, moving down the rows of dark, wooden benches and taking seats down front before the judge's desk. The judge, a pretty, middle aged woman with red hair, was clad in a long black robe and set at the reporters desk off to the side.   
  
    "Winchester-Novak?" she asked, looking up from the paperwork in front of her.   
  
    "Yes, ma'am," Dean answered, taking the marriage license from Sam's hand and approaching her. "Yes ma'am. I'm Dean Winchester. This," he motioned for Cas to join him. "This is Castiel.. um, Novak. Castiel Novak."  
  
    The judge peered over her glasses at the paper, taking Dean's driver's license and Castiel's state ID.   
  
    "This seems in order," she said, smiling up at them. "Castiel? That's not a name you hear every day."  
  
    "His parents were real bible beaters," Dean laughed nervously. Castiel's brow creased, but he didn't respond. The judge stood up, handing the identification back to Dean.   
  
    "Well, are you ready?"  
  
    The line in Cas's brow relaxed and he and Dean looked at each other.   
  
    "Yes, ma'am," Dean replied. She motioned them to the center of the room where a podium stood, and Dean and Castiel took their places in front of it. Cas looked out at the gallery to where Bobby sat with Mrs. Winchester and the prophet; Claire, Jimmy, and Amelia set together beside them; and Sam stood just in front of the first row of seats, holding his niece proudly. It was then that Cas noticed in the last row of seats were his brothers Gabriel and Balthazar. Cas smiled warmly at them and both angels raised a hand in acknowledgement.   
  
    "I didn't know they were going to be here," Dean whispered, following Castiel's gaze to where the other angels sat.   
  
    "Is that bad?" Cas replied in an equally low tone. Dean shook his head.   
  
    "Of course not.” he said, giving the Angel a warm smile. “I'm glad you got family here."  
  
    Castiel smiled back at him, his blue eyes shining with affection. Dean reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly and not letting go until the judge came to stand before them. The assembly was called to order when she spoke.   
  
    "Good morning, all." she began, turning a page in the book that sat open on the podium. There was the slight sound of movement as everyone settled to listen. "If you are here today, you are here to witness the union of Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak." the group turned smiling faces to each other, the happiness in the room almost a presence unto itself. "Who are my witnesses?"  
  
    "Here," Sam spoke, and Jimmy rose from his seat.   
  
    "Here, ma'am." he replied.   
  
    The judge smiled at them, nodding approvingly.   
  
    "Alright, could I please get you to stand on either side of our grooms here."  
  
    Sam, grinning widely, went to stand beside his brother as Jimmy stood next to Cas. Just as they took their places, the sound of the courtroom doors drew their attention. Dean heard Sam swear softly before his eyes found the reason.  
  
    John Winchester entered the room. He gave a nod of greeting toward those at the front by the podium before moving to take a seat in the last row, but on the opposite side of the isle from the two angels.  
  
    Dean's expression tightened and it was easy to see the tension in his jaw. He turned back to the judge when she continued speaking.   
  
    "In my twenty years of serving as a county court judge, I have had a lot of people come before this bench." she told them. "Not many of them willingly," smiles returned to the faces before her, and she continued. "Being able to join people in matrimony is one of the perks of what I do, and I am honored to be able to perform this service for you both today."  
  
    Dean grinned, turning to look at Castiel who was watching the judge attentively.   
  
    "First," Judge Kimble said, looking past the couple to those in the gallery beyond. "I an obligated to ask those present, that if they know of any reason to object to this union, that they address the court at this time."  
  
    Castiel turned to look back at his brothers. Both men simply smiled in return, even though there was the slight hint of uncertainty in their eyes. Dean didn't bother looking around; he didn't give a damn what anyone else thought - or at least, he didn’t gave a damn what anyone who didn’t want him with Cas thought. When no one spoke up, the judge continued.   
  
    "Well then," she said, looking from Castiel to Dean. "Dean, is it your intention, to come before the court on this day, to declare your solemn oath to take this man, Castiel, as your husband?"  
  
    "Yes ma'am," Dean told her, his voice slightly less steady than he would have preferred. He was feeling nervous, but not so distracted that he couldn't hear the subtle clicking of a camera somewhere behind him. The judge spoke to him again.  
  
    "And you fully understand that this declaration binds you in legal matrimony, with all of the rights and responsibilities therein - that you will love and honor this man, care and provide for him, with the intention that you have taken him solely as your partner while you are legally wed?"  
  
    "Absolutely. I understand," Dean agreed. He could hear the Angel's halting breath and he turned to Castiel, smiling at the look of awed emotion in the Angel's eyes. The moment was made less sentimental by the wide grin on Jimmy's face just behind him. Dean shook his head, turning back to the official as she addressed Castiel.   
  
    "Castiel,” as she spoke his name, the Angel turned to her, his brow furrowing in concentration as he listened to every word. “is it your intention, to come before the court on this day, to declare your solemn oath to take this man, Dean, as your husband?"  
  
    "Without reservation," he told her assuredly. She smiled at his tone.   
  
    "That's good." she agreed. " And you fully understand that this declaration binds you in legal matrimony, with all of the rights and responsibilities therein - that you will love and honor this man, care and provide for him, with the intention that you have taken him solely as your partner while you are legally wed?"  
  
    Castiel nodded.   
  
    "I do," he replied, turning to the man at his side. "I will love him until my final breath," Dean looked touched by his words. The judge turned to the witnesses.   
  
    "If there are rings, please present them at this time."  
  
    Sam shifted Mary, pulling the ring box from his pocket and handing it to his brother. Dean opened the box, hoping that his hands weren't visibly shaking as badly as they felt. He placed his own ring in Castiel's right hand before taking his left. The cool feel of the Angel's skin against his sent a warmth up the back of Dean's neck. Castiel watched transfixed while Dean slipped the ring on his finger, knowing what secret words were pressed forever against his flesh. He then took Dean's hand in his, placing the ring on his finger.  
  
    Judge Kimble took a deep breath, closing the book on the podium and looking up at the two men who only had eyes for each other.  
  
    "The exchanging of vows and rings, before these witnesses, presents a binding contract between these two that they have taken each other as partners in marriage." the judge announced. "And it is my honor, bestowed upon me by the state of California and Santa Clara County, that I pronounce these two married. You may now seal this vow with a kiss,"  
  
    Dean bit his lip nervously, looking at his Angel. Castiel also looked hesitant, but when Dean smiled at him and Cas smiled back, the rest of the world seemed to slip away. The hunter brought his hand up to Castiel's face, brushing his warm fingertips over the other's cool cheek and leaned in to kiss him gently. Their was applause from somewhere, but Castiel closed his eyes and focused on nothing by the feel of Dean's lips on his, the hand on his cheek, the metal of Dean's wedding ring against his skin.   
  
    They were _married_.   
  
    As Dean pulled away, he used his thumb to brush away the tear that had yet to fall from Castiel's eye and he blinked to keep his own in check. The judge spoke once again to them, diverting their attention.  
  
    "Could I get you both to sign here?" she asked, handing Dean a pen and pointing to the line on the marriage certificate. Dean signed his name, handing the pen to his companion.   
  
    "You can sign it 'Winchester' now," he murmured. Castiel took the pen and Dean watched as the Angel wrote his new name in his small, neat script. Dean’s chest felt a little tight and he wanted nothing more than to kiss Cas again, but he refrained.   
  
    The judge took the pen back from Castiel and added her own signature before asking Sam and Jimmy to sign as well. Once the task was completed, she reviewed the certificate and addressed the room.  
  
    "Those of you who are seated before the court today have the pleasure of being introduced for the first time, to Dean and Castiel Winchester. Congratulations," she added to the couple.   
  
    The assembly clapped again at the announcement, those in the front of the gallery rising and adding their congratulations to the newlyweds. Mary wouldn't let the judge leave until she had pictures of her with her son and his new husband, she forced them to take several more with Jimmy and Sam and one of the couple by themselves, and one with the baby.   
  
    Dean saw his father slip from the room after the first picture was taken, but Gabriel and Balthazar waited patiently until Castiel approached them.  
  
    "It's all over for you now bro," Gabriel said sadly, shaking the younger man's hand. "I think that judge said no more eating out since there's food at home."  
  
    Castiel grimaced.   
  
    "She didn't mention food," he replied. Balthazar rolled his eyes.   
  
    "What he means is,” he said, placing a hand on Cas’s shoulder. “that you're stuck with one measly lover for the rest of time, so... so sorry for you," Castiel's brow furrowed deeper and he tilted his head to the side.   
  
    "Dean satisfies me quite well, you needn't be sorry..."  
  
    "I could have gone two eternities without hearing that," Balthazar groaned. Castiel shook his head dismissively.  
  
    "We are going to celebrate now," he told them, an earnest look in his eyes that both were quite wary of. "Will you join us? Please?"  
  
    Gabriel grimaced, folding his arms across his chest.   
  
    "We don't eat, Cas, you know that." he replied. "You go and have your reception. We'll spread the news up above and throw you a party there."  
  
    "Yes," Balthazar agreed. He threw an arm around Cas’s shoulders and waved his hand through the air. "We'll ring the bells in your honor, blast the trumpets, pour the wine... just not on earth."  
  
    Castiel's mouth turned down, but it wasn't exactly a frown, his brows rising.   
  
    "You don't eat, but that doesn't mean you can't," he told them. "Besides, there will be alcohol."  
  
    "Where's it at?" Balthazar inquired. "Just quit making that face. We'll be there."  
  
    Castiel smiled.   
  
    "It's at a restaurant called 'The Garden Villa'. It's in the Stanford shopping center plaza."   
  
    Gabriel sighed heavily, nodding in agreement.   
  
    "We'll meet you there,"   
  
    The two angels took that opportunity, as no one was watching them, to disappear. Castiel turned back to his new family.  
  
    "You ready?" Dean asked, approaching him with their daughter cradled in one arm. "I twisted Chuck's arm, he's coming too." Cas nodded.   
  
    "Yes but, wasn't your father here?" he asked. Dean took a deep breath.  
  
    "Yeah. I'm going to go see what he wants." he handed the baby over to Castiel. He paused a moment, brushing his thumb across the Angel’s cheek and giving him a small smile. “I’ll be right back and we’ll go have lunch.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, and Dean stepped out of the room and into the hall. John was waiting just a few feet away.  
  
    "Congratulations, Dean," he spoke before Dean had a chance to question him. "You look really happy."  
  
    "I am," Dean replied, pushing his hands down into his pockets. "...I didn't think you'd want to be here..."  
  
    John gave a small laugh.  
  
    "Is that why you didn't invite me?" he asked, "Dean, you're my son. Of course I'd want to be here on the day you get married."  
  
    Dean felt a prickling sting of guilt. He rubbed the back of his neck, nervously.   
  
    "I... I didn't think you approved of Cas." he spoke quietly. John shrugged.   
  
    "I'm not marrying him,” he said with a laugh. “That's your business. If you're happy, Dean... I'm happy for you. And it's not that I don't approve of the guy, it's just..." he shook his head. "After you hooked up with him, you've acted like everything I've done for you over the years didn't amount to garbage. That hurt, Dean,"  
  
    Dean stared back at his father, at a loss for words. He was saved from speaking when his mother came to his side.   
  
    "You came," she said to her husband, her tone incredulous. "I can't believe it."  
  
    "I wanted to be here." John assured her. "My oldest boy getting married. How often does that happen?"  
  
    "Once," Dean answered resolutely. John nodded in understanding.   
  
    "Well," Mary spoke, still eyeing the older man warily. "I want to get a few more pictures before we go to the restaurant. That's okay, right honey?" she beamed at Dean. Dean nodded.   
  
    "Yeah. Sure mom,"  
  
    Dean gave a small nod to his father, turning to follow his mom back to the group. Mary herded them to the marble stairs at the front of the building. After several more pictures in front of the beautiful Santa Clara County court house, in every different combination of people Mary could think of - even one of her and Bobby with the young couple - she reluctantly followed the group to the cars. There was a bit of tense silence when she told them she would be driving with John to the restaurant, but no one mentioned it during the drive.  
  
    To Dean and Castiel's surprise, the restaurant's event room was decorated in blue and white streamers and wedding decorations. More surprising was that quite a few of their acquaintances were present there too. Although Dean was slightly embarrassed by the idea, deep down he was pleased to be having a proper wedding reception with Cas - and for Cas's sake.   
  
    "How could you think of getting hitched without asking us?" Ellen demanded, pulling Dean in for a hug and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.   
  
    "I... I honestly didn't think anyone would care..." he replied, dumbfounded by the support as Jo threw her arms around him as well.   
  
    "Are you kidding?" Jo teased. "We've all had money riding on who would tame the infamous Dean Winchester."  
  
    A different, yet happily familiar female voice spoke next.   
  
    "They didn't believe me when I put in my vote," Pamela told him, pulling him in for a hug also. "But I said, hey - _I'm psychic_!" she blinked her non-seeing eyes, smirking at him. "Not that I'm a fan of your hubby, you hear?"  
  
    "Oh, god, Pamela," Dean groaned. "I'm so sorry..."  
  
    "Forget about it, I don't hold a grudge," she insisted. She elbowed him in the ribs and whispered to him. "And to prove it, I'll give you this lifesaving piece of advice -" Dean leaned down as she finished.  " _don't open my gift in public_." She laughed heartily as he stood back up. Pamela reached up and patted his cheek. "Oh darlin', even without these eyes I can spot the blush on you,"  
  
    Dean laughed nervously and made a beeline back for Castiel, joining him by a large wall of windows at the front of the hall where a table was set for the happy grooms. Even with a stomach twisting with nerves, Dean smiled broadly at the Angel and the baby he carried in his arms. They received their guests, side by side, Dean making introductions to the one or two Cas wasn’t familiar with. He kept a hand on the Angel’s back, nervously rubbing small circles against Cas’s spine. Castiel didn’t object.     
  
    The group set down to lunch soon after, and the meal was punctuated with lively talking and laughter. Gabriel and Balthazar were playing some sort of drinking game with Pamela, Jo and Claire were chatting at the table beside Dean’s, and Mary and Ellen were talking quietly together. Halfway through lunch, Sam stood, clanking his knife on the side of his glass. The conversation settled and all eyes were on the tall, young man.   
  
    "Uh, hi," he addressed them, clearing his throat and pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I'd like to really thank everyone who is here to support my brothers, and celebrate their wedding day." he turned to Dean and Castiel raising his glass. Dean smiled, but looked a little leery of what Sam would say. "So, as my brother's best man, it's my duty to give them a toast. So, here it goes:" he took a deep breath, all eyes in the room on him. "When I was a little kid, I looked up to Dean as a hero." he told them. "Even though I knew I'd never be as cool or popular as my brother, that never stopped me from wanting to be like him - until I grew up, that is, and realized Dean is mostly cool and popular in his own mind." there was laughter and Dean grinned, shaking his head. Castiel turned and looked upon the older Winchester brother, curiously. Sam continued. "And like any siblings, we had our ups and downs. There were days we liked each other, and days we didn't want to be on the same continent. But, one thing that never changed is that I look up to my brother as a hero. He's taken care of me my whole life and he deserves this happiness that he's found.  
  
    “So it’s only fitting that my brother should marry a hero,” Sam raised his glass to Castiel, and the Angel seemed surprised to be addressed. “I don’t even want to think where we’d be if you hadn’t come into our lives, Cas. You have stuck by our side, you have been unfailing in your dedication, and your patience is certainly appreciated. You make my brother a little more manageable.” he said with a smile, and the words brought new laughter from the group. “We should all be so lucky to find someone we love as much as my brother loves Cas. And we should all be so lucky to find someone who love us, the way Castiel loves Dean. So, congratulation guys." He held his glass up to them, and those around the table followed his example. "To a long and happy life together. I already know what a great father you will be Dean, so I'm confident you'll be a great husband too. I love you both. Cheers."  
  
    Dean couldn't drink, knowing that if he didn't keep his lips firmly pressed together he might cry. He rose from his seat and walked to Sam and embraced his brother.   
  
    "Bitch," he whispered tightly. Sam smiled, hugging him tighter.   
  
    "Jerk,"  
  
    "You suck, man," Dean told him, trying discreetly to wipe the moisture from his eyes, but there was laughter in his tone. "You seriously suck."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Much to Dean and Cas's surprise, at the end of the meal they were presented with a small but beautiful wedding cake. Mary enjoyed getting to take pictures of them trying to figure out who should cut the cake first and their amused expressions as they served each other. After the party, Dean and Cas thanked everyone as they left, the last of whom were the Novaks.   
  
    "You keep in touch, alright?" Jimmy told them after hugging Castiel. "Don't be strangers."  
  
    "Why are you acting like we aren't going to see you tomorrow?" Dean laughed, hugging the man next. "Unless you and the misses are going to ditch us to take in the sites."  
  
    "Oh, no," Jimmy told him. "I'm just saying...Well, good night guys."  
  
    Dean grimaced at the other man’s shifty behavior, but with a sudden blushing warmth on his skin, he realized it might have something to do with the fact that tonight he was certainly going to be getting in on with the vessel formerly known as Jimmy Novak. Not that Dean was complaining. He was looking forward to christening their new room and their new bed at the first chance he got. He no longer gave a second thought to the skin on Castiel having been originally created for someone else. That was just Cas to him, and he wouldn’t change one hair on his beautiful head. And he certainly didn’t see him as anything similar to Jimmy - but he didn’t delude himself that it may take Jimmy a while to feel the same.   
  
    After loading up the Impala with their gifts - none of which were opened in public, just to save bringing attention to Pamela's - they returned to their house. Dean spirited the psychic's gift to his room quickly before anyone could question, and he and Castiel opened the others in the dining room.   
  
    "This was awfully kind of your friends," Castiel remarked, reading the back of the box the blender came in. "To buy us these things."  
  
    Dean leaned in behind Castiel, wrapping an arm around his chest and kissing him on top of the head.   
  
    "Yeah, it's pretty nice. I can't believe Jimmy and Amelia bought us a gift, after everything they've done for us so far."  
  
    Castiel leaned to the side, allowing Dean to place another kiss on his cheek. The Angel made a contented sigh, turning his left hand to catch Dean’s, admiring the way their wedding bands looked together.   
  
    Mary, Bobby, and Sam came into the dining room, and Dean stood, moving across the room to pour himself a cup of coffee.  
  
    "We're already on to you boy," Bobby told him. "Having just attended your wedding and all, I think we've caught on you got a bit of a thing for him."  
  
    Dean grinned, shaking his head.   
  
    "What are you three up to?" he asked, eyeing the trio suspiciously. Mary grinned widely, holding out an envelope to him.   
  
    "Our gift," she told him. Both Dean and Castiel looked confused.   
  
    "Mom," Dean said, not making a move to take the envelope. "You've already done so much for us. All of you... we couldn't accept anything else."  
  
    "But you're going to," Bobby told him, taking the envelope from Mary and pushing it into his hands. "So just be grateful."  
  
    Dean took the envelope and opened it, Castiel stood and looked over his shoulder. Inside was confirmation for a three night stay at the Palm Resort hotel in Los Angeles. He looked up at them dumbfounded.   
  
    "What is this?" he asked. Bobby smirked.   
  
    "It's a five hour drive, so you better get on the rode," he advised. Sam laughed sheepishly, crossing his arms over his chest and shrugging.   
  
    "It's so you and Cas can have a bit of a honeymoon. It's only four days total, and it's just here in California. But," he reached over and took the brochure from the envelope. "It's on the beach and your room faces the ocean."  
  
    Dean starred down at the glossy pamphlet showing the tall, ivory building facing the jade blue water and white sand. Each page contained more photos of luxury rooms, crystal clears pools, champagne, and decadent meals.   
  
    "You guys," Dean spoke softly. "This is... this is too much,"  
  
    "Well, it's already paid for so you might as well take it," Bobby told them, matter-of-factly. "We'll hold down the fort until you get back."  
  
    "Are we going somewhere?" Castiel asked, turning to Dean. Dean looked back at him, and the thought of spending four days alone with his Angel brought a beautiful montage of ideas to his mind.  
  
    "Yes we are," he announced resolutely, winking at Cas. "Let's go pack,"  
  
    "That's the spirit!" Mary cheered as Castiel and Dean left the kitchen and went upstairs to their room.   
  
    "Where are we going?" Castiel asked, watching Dean take a suitcase from the closet.   
  
    "On a honeymoon," Dean replied, opened the bag and moving to the dresser. Castiel’s head tilted to the side as he mouthed the word.   
  
    "What's a honeymoon?" Castiel asked, setting on the side of the bed and watching Dean as he placed pajamas and underwear into the open case. Dean paused, turning to the Angel.   
  
    "It's when a newly married couple goes away for a few days to spend time alone together and have lots of sex." he explained. Castiel looked surprised by the explanation, a slight pink tinge rising to his face.   
  
    "...That sounds nice..." he commented. Dean grinned, moving closer to the Angel and leaning down to kiss him.   
  
    "Doesn't it?" he asked with a pleased grin. Dean went back to filling the suitcase with enough clothing for four days, and their personal toiletries. Castiel sat quietly watching him, his eyes falling on a small gift bag beside the bed. He picked it up and peered inside.   
  
    "What is this?" he asked, reaching into the bag and pulling out one of the two wrapped packages in contained. Dean glanced over to him.  
  
    "Oh, that's from Pamela," he told the Angel, pausing from refolding shirts to look curiously at the square present Castiel held. "She told me not to open it around everyone else, so it's probably something dirty. Open it up; see what it is."  
  
    Castiel carefully peeled the paper from the edge of the package, and removed the paper from the thick, square object. Inside, was a book.   
  
    "What's it say?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "I'd rather not read from it," he said. "The written word can be dangerous, and I'm afraid I have not endeared myself to your friend..." he passed the book to Dean, who read the title out loud.  
  
    " _The Kamasutra for the 21st Century_ ," he raised an eyebrow, opening the book and flipping through it. There was a sticky note tucked inside that caused the pages to open directly to that section. Dean's eyes bulged and he uttered involuntarily. "Holy sh-"  
  
    The sticky note had a small heart drawn on it, with the words ' _congrats_!' scrawled inside. The pages marked were the 'male/male' section of the book. Dean blushed hotly.  
  
    "What is it?" Castiel asked. Dean handed him the book.  
  
    "Don't worry about reading it," he advised. "There's pictures." he paused a moment before adding. "We're going to pack that."  
  
    Dean watched Cas's face turn successively darkening shades of red as he turned the pages of the book.   
  
    "I... I never thought..." he murmured, closing the book and handing it back to Dean. Dean tucked it down between pajama pants and jeans. Cas looked up at his husband. "Have I been boring you?" he asked. Dean shook his head, returning to Cas’s side and kissing him deeply once again.  
  
    "Not on your life," he replied. "Not for a second. What else was in the bag?" Dean asked. Castiel picked up the bag and removed the second box. Dean was suspicious of the shape of the second package, so before Castiel could open it, he plucked it from the other man's hands and placed it back in the bag, rolling it up in the paper and tucking it into the suitcase as well. "That'll just be a surprise," he commented with a grimace.   
  
    After putting everything he could think they would need in the next four days, Dean and Cas returned downstairs to say goodbye to the family. Castiel watched with a smile as Dean snuggled and kissed the baby before handing her over to Sam.   
  
    "If anything happens," Dean instructed, stepping out onto the porch with Cas. "You call me. None of this ' _we didn't think it was very bad_ ' crap, you got me?"  
  
    "Yes, Dean," Sam replied, rolling his eyes. "You two have a good time. Relax."  
  
    Mrs. Winchester kissed both Dean and Cas before they got into the Impala. They made the trip without a stop, and Dean was impressed by the hotel as they pulled in to the parking lot.   
  
    "Wow," Dean breathed, getting out of the car and looking up at the place. "Pretty swank,"  
  
    An attendant rushed up to them and took the bag from Dean's hands.  
  
    "Welcome to the Palm Resort," the attendant spoke, preceding them into the lobby and toward the registration desk.   
  
    "Yeah, thanks," Dean grimaced, recognizing the sycophantic behavior as the tip-whoring that it was. The girl at the front desk beamed at him.  
  
    "Welcome to the Palm Resort," she spoke. "Do you have a reservation?"  
  
    "Um, yeah," Dean replied, "Winchester."  
  
    The girl checked the computer, turning her smile back to him.   
  
    "The honeymoon suite," she grinned. "Let me just get you your room cards,"   
  
    Dean signed in and picked up the keycards for the room. He relieved the now dejected bellhop of his suitcase and Castiel followed him to the elevator. As they waited, they both turned toward the dining room at the back of the hotel, where the wall was made of floor to ceiling windows and gave an impressive view of the beach just beyond. Dean felt a surge of gratitude for his family - for their generosity and acceptance, and giving him and Cas so much.   
  
    The elevator rang as it opened and Dean and Cas took it to the forth floor.   
  
    "Wow," Dean said again, seeing the suite in which they were staying. It was a huge room, with French doors that lead to a balcony overlooking the white sand beach and turquoise ocean beyond. The bed was king sized, covered in a multitude of pillows and a thick, plush comforter. He turned to Castiel. "Wow," he said again. The Angel nodded.   
  
    "It _is_ lovely," he agreed.   
  
    Dean set down the suitcase, placing the keys on a nearby table. A huge bouquet of roses in a vase stood on a small cafe-style dining table in the middle of the room. Dean approached it, taking the card that was nestled within the blooms. It was from Sam.  
  
    "Aw," Dean said, reading from the card. " ' _Congratulations on getting gay married_ '... that Sam..."  
  
    Castiel came to stand at his side, looking down at the card.   
  
    "We _are_ very happily married," he agreed. Dean chuckled, and turned to his husband.   
  
    The moment seemed surreal just then, looking upon Castiel. This man was the Angel who pulled him out of hell, who fought by his side during the apocalypse, who pissed him off more than once with his stubborn ways. This was also the man who cared enough about Dean to accept him as-is, faults and all, who Dean felt comfortable being vulnerable with. This was the man he chose to give his life to, to raise a family with...and they had just gotten married. He was married to Cas.   
  
    Dean smiled seductively, wrapping his arms around the Angel.   
  
    "So, _Mr._ Winchester," he said, causing Castiel to grin shyly. Dean liked the way the words felt on his tongue, and he grinned happily. "What would you like to do first?" he asked. "It's only a little after nine... you want dinner or do you want to go out or... or what?"  
      
    Castiel's brow furrowed as he thought.  
  
    "I'm... not hungry," he said said slowly, taking a moment to appreciate the lack of such sensation in his vessel. "I would... just like to spend time with you - unless _you_ are hungry,"  
  
    "Not at all," Dean replied, leaning in to press a kiss to Castiel's throat. Castiel moaned softly, letting his head fall to the side as Dean continued to kiss along the side of his neck.   
  
    "Dean," he sighed, and the younger man pulled him tighter at the sound.   
  
    There was a knock on the door.   
  
    Dean growled, pulling away and glowering at the door.   
  
    "This better be good," he said, stalking to the door and opening it.  
  
    "Room service," the man on the other side greeted, pushing a cart past and into the room. "Compliments of the house,"  
  
    Dean examined the cart containing a bottle of champagne in a silver bucket of ice, two champagne glasses, and a tray of strawberries, half of which were dipped in chocolate. Dean took out his wallet, taking out a couple bills and handing them to the young man.   
  
    "How late do you serve room service?" Dean asked.   
  
    "Room service is 24 hours, sir," the man replied. Dean grinned.  
  
    "Awesome. Thank you," he followed the delivery man back to the door, placing the 'do not disturb' placard on the handle before he closed it. He turned back into the room, stopping to pull off his shoes and socks. When Dean put his bare feet on the carpet, he sighed. "Oh my god, this carpet is ah-mazing." he told Cas, shrugging off his suit jacket and walking back to the bucket of champagne.  
  
    Castiel removed his own jacket, taking Dean's from the floor and hanging them both in the closet.   
  
    "Good god, take your shoes off," Dean told him, twisting his foot in the thick pile carpet as he poured the beverage into each glass. "It's like heaven."  
  
    "I doubt that," Castiel replied, amused, but he complied by taking off his shoes and socks as well. He also removed his tie for good measure, folding the blue silk gently and dropping it into the open suitcase. Dean held out a glass to him, and Castiel crossed to the hunter, accepting the champagne. "... it is very soft," he commented, taking the glass. "But, not quite like heaven."  
  
    "Maybe," Dean agreed, clinking his glass against Castiel's and taking a sip. "I do know something pretty damn close," he said, taking hold of the Angel's shirt and pulling him closer. Castiel closed his eyes, tilting his head as the younger man leaned in to him. Their lips met and Castiel set his glass aside, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck.   
  
    Dean sat his glass down as well, freeing his hands to pull Castiel's shirt up and working each button free. Castiel mirrored the hunter’s actions, unbuttoning Dean’s shirt and pulling the tie from his neck. They backed slowly toward the bed as they kissed, shedding clothes and worshiping each inch of newly bare flesh.   
  
    Castiel settled on the side of the bed, reluctantly letting go of Dean as the younger man went to pick through the suitcase, grabbing the bottle of lubricant and returning to the Angel side. Castiel smiled up at him, moving back into the center of the mattress and letting Dean settle between his thighs. Dean looked down into Castiel's face, pushing the hair off of his forehead.   
  
    "I love you," Dean whispered, kissing him gently. Castiel’s expression was blissfully content as he looked up at the younger man, loosely wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck.   
  
    "Dean," he spoke, his rough voice quiet. "When I first met you, I never imagined that this is where life could bring us,"  
  
    “You and me both, baby," Dean laughed, thinking back to that day. He ran his fingers over the Angel's chest where so many scars should be. But the Angel’s skin was smooth, tan, and perfect. "I mean, I stabbed you in the heart."  
  
    "It's alright," Castiel assured him, gently caressing the hunter’s back. "You fixed it."  
  
    Dean chuckled, leaning down to kiss him, pouring all the emotion that he could into each sweet press of their lips. He wanted Castiel to know how much he loved him, to know how much this day meant to him, to feel what he was feeling when Dean thought about sharing this life together.  
  
    Castiel ran his hands over Dean’s warm, hard muscles and up into the hunter’s hair. It was like a dream that he was now married to this beautiful human being, and he loved him more than was comprehensible. He never imagined that giving everything to Dean would provide such an immeasurable return in happiness. Love and happiness now seemed like such inexhaustible, renewable resource, never to be depleted, only to be multiplied. He wanted eternity with this man.    
  
    They moved slowly together, taking their time to enjoy each touch of skin against skin, getting lost in the pleasure of the other’s mouth. There was something different about this time, something more profound. Dean took the initiative, making love to Castiel until the Angel was gripping hard into his back and moaning his name. Their bodies worked so well together, building each other up, coaxing the other to completion. Castiel was the first to reach release, and murmured sweet words of encouragement as Dean sought his own. He came with the Angel’s name falling in reverent whispers from his lips, lips that continued softly kissing Castiel’s even after they were both spent.   
  
    Castiel was breathing heavily, his eyes closed as Dean pulled away and dropped at his side. Both men were quiet, basking in the perfection of the moment.   
  
    "Oh my god," Dean gasped, running a hand over his hair as he stared up into the glittering chandelier over the bed. "Cas, baby..."  
  
    Castiel turned to look up at him, his pupils wide and his hair disheveled.   
  
    "Yes?" he asked. Dean gave a huff of laughter, rolling over to kiss him again.   
  
    "This is just... too amazing," Dean told him, laying back against the bed, tucking one hand beneath his head. "I just... man... wow."  
  
    "I'm glad I please you," Castiel spoke, taking hold of Dean's free hand and threading his finger in with the other man's. "I don't know if I will ever be as pleasing as a woman, but I'm-"  
  
    "Whoa, whoa, _whoa_ ," Dean said, propping up on his side and leaning over the Angel. "Cas, jeez. Why would you say that?"  
  
    Castiel looked confused, and his brow furrowed as he looked back at the other man.  
  
    "Dean, it's an established fact that you have greatly enjoyed physical intimacy with women and, as a general rule, prefer them to all men."  
  
    "But I married _you_ ," Dean reminded him. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Because you love me," he clarified. "That doesn't mean you prefer the arrangement of my anatomy."  
  
    "Yes," Dean nodded, "Yes, I do."  
  
    Cas stared at him a moment, before responding.   
  
    "You do?"  
  
    Dean shook his head, leaning down and kissing the Angel.   
  
    "Damn right," he insisted. “I wouldn’t change one thing about you.” He pressed his lips to Cas’s, punctuating his words with several slow, deep kisses.   
  
    When he pulled away, Castiel was smiling, a look of self-satisfaction spreading across his face. Dean chuckled, rising from the bed and walking across the room to the bathroom. He called over his shoulder.   
  
    "I'll bring back a towel,"  
  
    Castiel sighed, looking down at the damp mess across his abdomen, could feel the wetness between his legs. Out of curiosity, he lifted his hand, focusing his energy on cleaning away the organic matter. To his surprise, it worked and the bedding was just as clean as it was when they lay down. Dean returned, handing a towel to the Angel.   
  
    "I took care of it," Cas replied. Dean shrugged.   
  
    "Convenient," he replied, picking his boxer up from the floor and pulling them on. "What else of your Angel powers do you think you got back?"  
  
    Castiel sat up, stacking the pillows up behind himself and leaning back against them as he watched Dean pour more champagne.   
  
    "Well," the Angel spoke, thinking about the questions. "Since my grace returned, I haven't noticed any sensation to eat or eliminate anything," Dean smirked, taking a drink of the champagne before picking up Castiel's glass. He juggled both in one hand, carrying the tray of strawberries over to set on the bedside table. Castiel took the champagne flute and continued. "I haven't noticed anything else, but I did get my wings back."  
  
    Dean looked impressed, his eyes moving over the Angel's bare torso.   
  
    "How come I can't see them?" Dean asked, setting on the side of the bed. "I can only see the shadow?"  
  
    "Your eyes can't perceive them," Cas said shaking his head. He gave a wistful smile afterward. "This may be vanity, but... I am rather partial to my wings. Their color, it's rather rare even amongst angels."  
  
    Dean smiled, watching him look down at his wedding band.   
  
    "Well, I'm glad you got 'em back, buddy. I'd hate to think you were stuck as a human on my account."  
  
    Castiel tilted his head to the side, regarding Dean with a curious expression.   
  
    "Being human was difficult for me only because I came into it as an adult. But I was adjusting; learning. And it was a small price to pay to be with you and Mary." he sighed, looking down at the tiny bubbles rising up the side of his glass. "Yes, there are aspects of humanity that are inconvenient, but I would take them gladly to be with you."  
  
     Dean reached out and touched the Angel's cheek. Cas looked up at him.  
  
    "Well," Dean told him, smirking. "You're stuck with me... Oops, I forgot to call Sam and tell him we got here" he grinned. “Got a little distracted.”  
  
    Castiel smiled back, watching Dean stand and drain the glass that he had. He crossed to the closet, taking his cell phone out of his jacket and dialing Sam's number. His brother answered on the third ring, surprise in his tone.   
  
    "Dean, did you get to LA?"  
  
    "Yeah, we got here okay," Dean replied, crossing back to the bed and sitting on the edge. "Thanks for the flowers, by the way."   
  
    Sam chuckled.   
  
    "You're welcome. How's the room, is it nice?"  
  
    Dean nodded, even though Sam couldn't see, and he picked up a strawberry and bit into it.   
  
    "Yeah, it's pretty swank. The carpet it like heaven for feet."  
  
    Sam laughed loudly, moving his phone to his other ear so he could more comfortably hold the baby that was sleeping in his arms.   
  
    "That sounds awesome," he agreed. "Just be sure to get out a least once,"  
  
    "That's not what a honeymoon's for, right?" Dean asked him. "Aint that why the rooms so nice. 'Cause you aint seein' much more?" He listened to Sam chuckle a moment before he continued. "I was just callin' to let you know we got here okay, to check on the baby and say good night."  
  
    "She's great," Sam replied, looking down at the beautiful infant with adoration. He ran his hand over her soft blonde hair, affectionately. "She's sleeping. She ate about an hour ago. So, Bobby and I are watching baseball and mom's taking a shower. Jimmy and his family just left about fifteen minutes ago; we had dinner together. So, things are good here. Don't worry about a thing. Just... just have a good time."  
  
    "Thanks, Sammy," Dean replied. "You have a good night. Oh, and when you see Jimmy again, you tell that sneaky bastard I said thanks. I should have known he was already in on this."  
  
    "I will," Sam agreed, smiling. "Tell Cas I said good night,"  
  
    "Sammy said good night, Cas," Dean said, looking over at the Angel.  
  
    "Good night, Sam," Castiel replied seriously, making Dean chuckle.   
  
    "Alright, Good night Sammy." He spoke. "You take care of my little girl, okay?"  
  
    "I will Dean," Sam told him. "Good night."  
  
    Dean shut off the phone, setting it aside and turning to the Angel. He looked at Castiel for a moment before moving to his side,  slipping his arms around him and laying his head on Cas’s chest.   
  
    "So," he asked, sighing. "What do you want to do now?"  
  
    "Well," Castiel replied, returning Dean's embrace. "I think I'd like to drink champagne, eat strawberries, and make love to my husband."  
  
    "That is an excellent plan," Dean laughed, laying back on the bed and letting Castiel lean over him. The Angel leaned down and Dean's expression of levity quickly faded, his temperature rising with each word Castiel whispered roughly in his ear.   
  
    "Then why are you still wearing clothes?"     
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ""May I ask you something, Dean? If... If I have enough of my powers as an Angel left, and we are able to conceive another child together..." Dean paused, waiting with baited breath for the Angel to continue. "How many children do you want?"  
>  "Wow... I never thought about it," Dean answered, shifting his position under his husband, trying to make the other man more comfortable. "I guess there's plenty of things we haven't discussed..." Castiel turned to look up at the hunter, who kissed his forehead. Dean smiled down at him, imagining their idyllic future together. Dean and Castiel Winchester, and all the little Winchesters they could have. Mary had come to him as a shocking surprise, but was worth every second of cell-shattering pain. "I guess I'd want... a couple boys, maybe, like me and Sam... another girl... I dunno... I'd be happy with whatever we get. I'd like at least one more, though... so Mary can have a sibling."  
>  "Four children," Castiel replied, considered the composition of their life with four little Winchesters. He smiled. "That sounds nice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically all smut, with a side of fluff. I'm so sorry. :D

    Dean fell asleep relatively quickly that evening, mostly due to his poor night’s sleep the previous night coupled with an early morning - but the physical exertion of the last two hours before he fell asleep were definitely contributing factors. He lay comfortably against Castiel's chest, and the Angel lay awake, holding the hunter in his arms. Castiel had time alone to consider how odd it was to not sleep, now that he had been used to it for the last several weeks. The thought of falling asleep with the man he loved seemed like bit of a fantasy now that he couldn't seem to do it.   
  
    Castiel stared up at the crystal chandelier above him, listening to Dean's deep, even breathing. Today was a beautiful day, and he spent part of the evening replaying it in his mind - hearing Dean make a vow to him, signing their marriage certificate in his new name, celebrating their joy with family and friends, and hearing Sam’s heart-felt tribute to them. He couldn't believe how blessed he was, how much he had to be grateful for. He could now understand Dean's concern that this wasn't the real world - it was a like a dream.   
  
    Cas closed his eyes, pulling Dean closer and settling into the thick, down bedding. He didn’t realize when his thoughts of his now dream-like life with Dean became actual dreams, as he fell asleep sometime past two in the morning.   
  
    Dean was the first to wake, moaning contently as he pulled closer to Castiel. He lay there for several moments before the pressure in his bladder forced him to his feet. He scanned the floor for his boxers, unsure of where they had been tossed last, so he crossed to the bathroom in nothing but his skin. After relieving himself, he decided to take a shower since he was already there. He dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist and returning to the room.   
  
    Dean's phone indicated that it was just shy of five a.m., but he was already too awake to return to sleep. The room contained a coffee pot and complimentary gourmet coffee, so Dean started a pot while he considered if he should order breakfast this early. Walking over to the bed, Dean looked down at the Angel sleeping there. Castiel looked calm and peaceful, and Dean watched him, his eyes moving slowly over the Angel's face.   
  
    " _Hows this not creepy, Dean_?" he chastised himself, but he stood for several more seconds, admiring his handsome husband. With a sigh, he turned back to the coffee pot, which now contained a full carafe of coffee. He poured himself a cup, and crossed to the door, taking the newspaper off of the floor outside. He returned to the bed, settling carefully back against the headboard and flipped through the news, distractedly reaching over to run his hand through Castiel's hair as he read. The Angel stirred, blinking his eyes as he looked up at the hunter.   
  
    "Good morning," Dean grinned, leaning over and pressing his lips to Castiel's forehead. "Sleep well?"  
  
    "I didn't realize I fell asleep," Cas replied, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "But yes, I slept well."  
  
    "You hungry?" Dean asked, folding the paper and tossing it aside. Castiel narrowed his eyes as he took inventory of the sensations inside his body.  
  
    "... Yes," he nodded, his voice slightly confused. "I'm very hungry,"  
  
    "Not a problem," Dean said, leaning over to kiss the Angel once more before getting to his feet. "Go get in the shower if you want, I'm going to order breakfast up,"  
  
    Castiel nodded, pulling his weary body from the bed and walking toward the bathroom. Dean admired his retreating form before picking up the phone and dialing down for room service. When Castiel returned from the shower, the table was set with French toast, ham, and hash browns. Dean poured him a cup of coffee, and they settled in to dine together.   
  
    "So," Dean began, leaning on the table. "What do you want to do today?"  
  
    Castiel considered the question, but shook his head.  
  
    "I'm not sure..." he replied, hesitantly. "I don't know what type of activities are customary for honeymoons."  
  
    Dean chuckled, giving a tilt of his head.   
  
    "Well, other than what we did last night," he explained, causing Castiel to grin and drop his gaze. "There aren’t any rules... We can just go out into the city and walk around... Or, we could go down to beach... or... I dunno, Cas... I've never really had the chance to develop any type of preference for spare time."  
  
    "I enjoyed walking around the city on our date," Cas commented. "Can we do that?"  
  
    Dean grinned broadly.   
  
    "Absolutely,"  
  
    After they ate and dressed, Castiel and Dean drove into one of the shopping districts and walked around the city. While walking was the intention, they used the time to talk and found that they had plenty to say to each other. They discussed how much they enjoyed their wedding day, their plans for their house, and Dean's upcoming job. Without intending, they were diverted by a baby store and made several purchases for their little girl.   
  
    They had lunch out a local beach-side bistro, enjoying the warm California weather before returning to the hotel to relax. A chilled bottle of wine was waiting for them in the room, and they they took advantage of the large balcony and the beautiful summer day to lay in the lounge chairs and drink while they basked in the sun. They only lasted minutes in sperate chairs before Dean beckoned the Angel to his, and he placed his arms around his spouse as Cas lay against his chest. Dean grinned - the Angel's skin perfectly cool in the warmth of the sunlight.   
  
    "I'm conflicted," Castiel spoke after several moments of silence. Dean frowned, tilting his head to look down into the other man's face.   
  
    "Conflicted?" he asked. "About what?"  
  
    Castiel sighed.   
  
    "I'm enjoying this time alone with you," Cas told him. "I am. We haven't really had much time by ourselves to just... be with each other," Dean had to agree.  
  
    "But?" he prompted. Castiel looked up at him.  
  
    "But, I miss our baby,"   
  
    Dean smirked, hugging the Angel closer.   
  
    "I miss her too," he admitted. "I got an idea," he nudged Castiel up, and Dean pulled his phone from his pocket. He wrapped his arm around Castiel's chest, holding him against himself as he pulled up the video chat on his phone. There was only a second of ringing before the screen came to life.    
  
    "Hey Dean!" Sam greeted with a grin. "Hey Cas! How are you guys? What's going on?"  
  
    "We miss our daughter," Castiel spoke bluntly. "Can I see her?"  
  
    Sam chuckled, turning the phone just a bit to reveal the infant in his arms. They could hear Sam say: "There's your daddies!" to the baby and Dean smiled.   
  
    "How's she doing, Sammy?" Dean asked, leaning his chin on Cas's shoulder as he watched the baby on the screen.   
  
    "She looks pale, Sam," Cas added. "Is she pale? Does she have a fever?"  
  
    "No Cas, she's fine," the younger man insisted with amusement in his tone. "She just ate, had a lovely full diaper surprise for me, and I'm trying to get her to take a nap. Her temperature feels fine and she's doing well." he was going to mention that he thought she definitely missed her parents, but he didn't want to cause any more angst. "How are you two? Having fun?"  
  
    Castiel turned back to Dean.  
  
    "Do we answer that?" he asked, concerned. Dean gave a nervous laugh and he shook his head.   
  
    "Yeah, we're great," Dean answered his brother. "We saw a bit of the city today, bought some stuff for the baby, and now we're drinking wine!" He held up his glass for emphasis.   
  
    Sam chuckled, turning the phone back to orient on himself.  
  
    "Well, you two look happy." he commented. "Enjoy yourselves. You'll be home before you know it. And don't worry Cas - Mary is fine."  
  
    "Thank you, Sam," Castiel replied, hesitating before adding. "Can I see her one more time?"  
  
    Sam turned the phone back around and the baby's eyes tracked the screen, her pale brows furrowing as she watched the picture of her fathers. Dean laughed at how much it made her resemble Cas.   
  
    "Thanks, Sammy," Dean spoke. "We'll call back later to say good night,"  
  
    Sam turned the camera back on himself, smiling at his brother and new brother-in-law.  
  
    "Don't worry about the baby, guys." he insisted, gently. "I'm taking good care of her,"  
  
    "We know Sam," Dean replied. "I wouldn't trust anyone else."  
  
    "We miss you too, you know," Castiel told him. Sam's expression was taken aback for a moment and he smiled.   
  
    "Thanks, Cas." he said, embarrassed. "I'll talk to you guys later."  
  
    They said their goodbye's and Dean sat the phone to the side.   
  
    "Happy?" he asked, free now to wrap both arms around his husband. Castiel nodded, wrapping his arms around Dean's.   
  
    "Very," he replied.   
  
    Dean grinned, leaning down and pressing his lips to the back of Castiel's neck. He could feel the Angel's body tense, and it made him want to do it again. Dean turned his head, running his chin against Cas's shoulder before kissing the side of his throat. Castiel sighed softly, his head tilting to the side.   
  
    "Why are you laughing?" Castiel asked, feeling the vibration of Dean's chuckle against his back. Dean placed another soft kiss behind the Angel's ear before answering.   
  
    "I just love how something so simple turns you on so much,"   
      
    Castiel blushed, closing his eyes as Dean continued to lay soft kisses on his shoulder and neck.   
  
    "What... what turns you on, Dean?" he asked, having a hard time concentrating on anything other than the warm lips moving over his skin.   
  
    "You," Dean replied, his hand slipping under Cas's shirt.  
      
    "What about before you loved me?"  
  
    Dean set back, licking his lips as he considered.   
  
    "Um," Absently, he rubbed his hand across the Angel's abdomen. He had never actually thought about it. It was pretty much just women in general - curvy bodies; lots of cleavage; tight clothes. But Cas was the antithesis of these things - muscular, angular, and very, very male. And as for the ways he wanted to be touched, just being touched was awesome; although nothing really revved his engine like it did with Castiel. "I don't know, babe." he answered.   
  
    Castiel turned where he sat, raising an eyebrow.   
  
    "I've read the writings of the prophet," he said, seriously. "You've had a lot of experience,"  
  
    Dean sighed, laying back against the chair. Castiel was watching him expectantly.   
  
    "I don't know," he said again, reaching out and touching Cas's arm. "It doesn't matter anymore. I've.. you know..." he shrugged. "I've never been in love before. Not like this."  
  
    Castiel was quiet as he watched Dean, his eyes starring into the hunter’s.   
  
    "Sometimes, I can't believe you love me," Castiel told him, his voice a bit grim. Dean shook his head, pulling the Angel back down into his arms.   
  
    "Believe it," he murmured, "Like I said last night; you're stuck with me now. You're a Winchester. You're my husband.... You're the father of my child. You're _mine_."  
  
    "I am in Heaven," Castiel said, leaning up to accept Dean's kiss. "You've made so many concessions for me. I..."  
  
    "Not another damn word," Dean murmured gruffly, kissing Castiel once more before pulling him in close. Castiel lay his head back against Dean's chest, and the men lay quietly together in the sunlight. It wasn’t long before Dean returned to kissing along the side of Cas's neck and around his ear. Cas spoke quietly.  
  
    "May I ask you something, Dean?"  
  
    "Hm?" Dean responded, his lips never leaving the Angel's skin.   
  
    Castiel sighed, pulling Dean's arms tighter around him.  
  
    "If... If I have enough of my powers as an Angel left, and we are able to conceive another child together..." Dean paused, waiting with baited breath for the Angel to continue. "How many children do you want?"  
  
    "Wow... I never thought about it," Dean answered, shifting his position under his husband, trying to make the other man more comfortable. "I guess there's plenty of things we haven't discussed..." Castiel turned to look up at the hunter, who kissed his forehead. Dean smiled down at him, imagining their idyllic future together. Dean and Castiel Winchester, and all the little Winchesters they could have. Mary had come to him as a shocking surprise, but was worth every second of cell-shattering pain. "I guess I'd want... a couple boys, maybe, like me and Sam... another girl... I dunno... I'd be happy with whatever we get. I'd like at least one more, though... so Mary can have a sibling."  
  
    "Four children," Castiel replied, considered the composition of their life with four little Winchesters. He smiled. "That sounds nice."  
  
    Dean smiled as well, resting his head against' Cas's.  
  
    "I got a question for you," he spoke. "I've been a little preoccupied with getting a job to take care of you and Mary, but I never consider what _you_ would like to do. Now that you live on earth, is there something you want out of life?"  
  
    "That's an easy question," Castiel replied, looking up into the vibrant blue sky. "I want to care for you and our children and Sam. I'm sure I can learn how to properly maintain a human home."  
  
    Dean shook his head, his smile growing wider.  
  
    "I love you," he spoke softly, "But, you let me know if you ever think of more lofty goals."  
  
    Cas shook his head, reaching back to stroke his hand across Dean's cheek.   
  
    "There is nothing more fulfilling than to care for your family." he said confidently. "I couldn't want anything more."  
  
    Dean hugged him, tucking his head down against the Angel's neck. If he had any second thoughts left about taking Castiel as his partner for the rest of his life, they were wiped away. Cas was everything he had ever wanted, not just the things he had thought he wanted - he was kind, caring, loving, selfless, and committed. The idea now that Dean would have ever considered his gender as a disqualification, was not only laughable, it was pitiful. He was glad he came to his senses. He didn't want to be with anyone else, ever again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Sam hung up the phone with his brother, a smile still on his face as he set it aside. Mary gurgled happily, her hands reaching up where the phone had just been. Sam looked down at her.  
  
    "Your dads are crazy," he told her, leaning down and letting her grasp at his hair. "Just crazy!"  
  
    "Was that Dean?" Mrs. Winchester asked, walking into the room with a stack of picture frames.   
  
    "Yeah," Sam replied, setting back up and watching his mother set the frames onto the coffee table. "What's that?"  
  
    Mary smiled widely, looking up at her son with delight in her eyes.   
  
    "Bobby and I went to the local drug store and printed up some of the pictures from the wedding to put in the frames that Jimmy and Amelia bought." she told him, turning the silver frames toward him so he could see. Sam's smile widened as he looked at the photos.  
  
    "Wow, mom, when did you take these?"  
  
    "Oh, here and there," she replied proudly, looking down at the photos as well. The moments she managed to capture between Castiel and Dean were candid and intimate, but managed to still show the underlying friendship between the two men. There was one of Dean and Cas watching each other as the judge was explaining their commitment; one of their entire wedding party; and one of the newlyweds and their infant daughter. It was the fourth and fifth pictures in the sleek silver frames that made Sam sit forward to get a better look. One was a picture of him and Dean embracing after his toast - the photo bringing back a wave of emotion from that afternoon. The second was as amazing in a different way; it was of Cas and Dean with their foreheads touching; Dean's eyes were crinkled with laughter and Castiel had a smile on his face that made him look the most happy and human that Sam had ever seen him.   
  
    "When was this?" he asked, pointing to the picture. Mary smiled wistfully, turning the picture toward herself.   
  
    "That was right after they kissed." she replied. "Your brother looks so happy here. I couldn't have asked for more for him." she touched the photo, her fingertip tracing Dean's cheek. "And he's blushing." she said with a laugh.  
  
    Sam watched his mother carefully a moment.  
      
    "Mom," he began quietly. "Are you... are you okay?" he asked. Mary looked up at him, her expression intrigued.   
  
    "Of course I am," she replied. "What do you mean?"  
  
    Sam shrugged, changing the baby's position in his arms.   
  
    "I don't know, I mean... It has to be hard for you since we were so young when..." he couldn't bring himself to continue. "And, this thing with dad... I mean, I wish you were happy, mom,"  
  
    "Oh, Sam," she said softly, coming to set at his side, cupping his face in her hands. "You're very sweet." she kissed his forehead, before setting back. "I did miss out on a lot of your life, but it's not what I missed out on that bothers me - it's what _you_ missed out on." she took his free hand, holding it in both of hers. "I can't dwell on what I missed out on now that I have a second chance - because I have now. I have you and your brother, and Cas and Mary," she smiled down at the baby. "And as for your father... well..." she patted his hand. "You don't' worry about that. I'm going to go get a hammer."  
  
    Sam watched her leave, not sure if he felt better or worse after hearing her answer. He turned back to the photos, looking at the frames that were not the silver frames from the Novaks. There was three or four of baby Mary in various adorable outfits, one of Mrs. Winchester and her boys, and one of little Mary and Bobby. Sam smiled, finding it comforting how his mother had understood how important Bobby was in Dean's life.   
  
    He sighed, sitting back and cuddled his niece against his chest. His mother was an amazing woman, and he wished he had her outlook and attitude. He seemed to remember a time when he did have that kind of optimism, but he wasn't sure when it was that he lost it.   
  
    The baby began to fuss, and Sam leaned down and kissed her head, holder her closer.   
  
    "Yeah..." Sam spoke, giving her another kiss on the top of her blonde hair. "I miss them too..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After dinner, Dean ordered another bottle of wine to their room and after changing into his pajamas, settled back on the downy bed flipping through the book that Pamela had bought them. He whistled lowly, turning the pages - a blush on his face.   
  
    "Hey Cas," he said, looking over to the Angel who was pulling a T-shirt to wear to bed out of the suitcase. "You should look at this I think - whoa! That's creative..."  
  
    "What?" Castiel asked, turning to the hunter as he stripped from the shirt he was wearing. Dean looked to him, taking a moment to appreciate the Angel's bare flesh.   
  
    "This book," Dean clarified, holding it up. "I mean like - ooh, this," He grinned, wagging his eyebrows at the other man. "Come here - I'm doing this to you."  
  
    Cas smiled shyly at Dean's leering smile, folding up his shirt and placing it in the laundry bag they had in the suitcase. He paused, picking up the rolled up gift bag that was tucked down behind the jeans.   
  
    "Dean," he spoke, turning toward the bed. "Can we open this now?"  
  
    Dean licked his lips, feeling a slight nervous anticipation as he watched the Angel pull the wrapped box from the bag.   
  
    "Um..." Dean shrugged, "Sure. Why not?"  
  
    Castiel set on the side of the bed, meticulously peeling the paper from the gift. Dean took the paper, setting it aside as Cas looked at the box inside   
  
    "There's a note," Castiel observed, pulling off the small yellow sticky note and handing it to Dean. The familiar, sassy handwriting, coupled with the message, made him groan.   
  
     _\- The batteries are included, sugar! XoXo_   
  
    Dean closed his eyes, chuckling as Castiel began to read from the box.  
  
    "Three speed personal massager," the Angel announced, continuing on to the small print. "Three variable speeds to please anyone's desire. Reduce stress, aids in relaxation. Specially designed for both men and women... BPA free... " he looked up at Dean. "That's kind,"  
  
    Dean gave a snort of laughter, taking the box from the other man's hand and giving it a once over. He shook his head, feeling a mixture of amusement and embarrassment.   
  
    "How does it work?" Castiel asked. Dean raised his eyebrows, opening the box and slipping the massager into his hand.   
  
    "Remind you of anything?" he asked, with a smirk. Castiel narrowed his eyes at the sleek, purple plastic device.   
  
    "No," he replied. "Should it?"  
  
    Dean turned the item over in his hand, turning the dial at the base and it buzzed quietly.   
  
    "Let me give you a hint," Dean told him. "It's not really for _external_ use."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed deeper and he looked back down at the vibrating cylinder. It only took a moment before he leaned back, nodding slowly in understanding.  
  
    "I see," he said plainly. "It resembles a phallus."  
  
    Dean chuckled, turning the dial again thinking he was shutting it off, but only succeeding in making it buzz harder.  
  
    "Jeez," he said, quickly deactivating it. "That's packs a bit of a punch.. you, uh," he grinned. "you want me to massage you?"  
  
    Castiel narrowed his eyes, looking warily to the vibrator.  
  
    "You want to..." he began hesitantly. ".. to put that inside me?"  
  
    Dean grimaced.   
  
    "Not when you put it that way," he replied, grimly. He sat the gift aside, turning back to his Angel. "I got better plans for you, baby," Cas was still staring at the massager in distasteful curiosity.   
  
    "Do people actually do that?" he asked. Dean sighed.   
  
    "Yes. Yes they do," he said wearily.   
  
    "Why?" Castiel continued. Dean picked the item back up and turned it on.  
  
    "Here," he said, bringing the gently vibrating plastic to the side of the Angel's neck. It tingled, but didn't feel unpleasant. Cas unconsciously leaned in to the sensation. "There ya go," Dean laughed, turning it back off and setting it back on the nightstand. "I wouldn't do anything weird to you, Cas," he assured him, rising from the bed and turning off the main overhead lights, dimming the bulbs in the chandelier until the room had a soft glow. "I wouldn't do anything to you that I wouldn't want you to do to me." In his mind, Dean actually considered quite a few scenarios that he would want Cas to do to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to imagine doing to the Angel.   
  
    "I trust you, Dean," Cas replied, watching his husband open the drapes in front of the balcony doors. The lights on sailboats glimmered in the distance, sparking like stars against the darkening sky. Dean walked back to the bed, touching the Angel's face as he kissed him deeply.  
  
    "You ready for bed?" he asked. Cas nodded, bringing his hands up over Dean's. Dean kissed him again, and Cas lay back as Dean crawled over him onto the bed. They did nothing but kiss for many long moments before Dean sat up, pulling his shirt off over his head and tossing it behind him. Castiel sat up, running his hands up the hunter's muscular torso, bringing his lips to taste the bare flesh. Dean ran his hands though Castiel's hair, watching in awe as the Angel worshiped over his body. Dean urged the shirt up over the Angel's head, tossing it to join his. Pants were quick to follow, and Dean and Castiel settled beneath the thick down comforter, kissing and caressing each other with a calm, comforting passion. Dean's hand traveled over the firm muscles of Castiel's back and glutes, pulling the Angel closer. "You trust me?" Dean murmured, before continuing to lave his tongue across the older man's throat. Castiel’s answer came in a breathy sigh.   
  
    "Of course I do,"  
  
    "Good," Dean replied, but continued to kiss the other man without further comment. Cas felt a stirring of curiosity, but it faded quickly to be replaced by the delicious friction of Dean's erection sliding against his own. He was breathless when Dean pulled back, kissing his forehead and whispering in his ear. "Turn over, babe,"   
  
    Castiel's brows drew together, but he didn't question Dean's request, heeding his gentle direction to move. Castiel turned away from the hunter, and Dean moved in behind him, slipping his arm around the Angel waist and sliding his hand over the taut muscles of his abdomen. Castiel moaned, the sound deepening in his throat when Dean began to press warm kisses to the back of his neck.   
  
    "Oh, I ... I see what you're doing" Castiel breathed, shuddering at the jolts of pleasure that the actions sent through him. Dean smiled, brushing his lips over the Angel's cool skin.   
  
    "I haven't even gotten started," Dean said with a smile, kissing the older man's jaw and ear as he leaned up on his elbow. He pulled one of the extra pillows from the top of the bed. "Here, put this under your knee."  
  
    "What?" Castiel asked, but took the pillow. "Why?"  
  
    Dean kissed him on the mouth since he had the opportunity when Castiel turned to him.   
  
    "Because I want you to be comfortable," he replied, moving the comforter so Cas could place the cushiony pillow between his knees. "And the book said it would be extra comfortable..." Castiel didn't question him further, letting Dean returned to kissing his neck and stroking his abdomen and hips. Cas leaned back against Dean, enjoying the attention his husband was lavishing on him.   
  
    Dean leaned away and there was the familiar click of the lid of the lubricant bottle and Cas turned back to watch the hunter. Dean smiled at him, kissing him and leaning back into his husband's body. Castiel put a hand back on Dean's hip, waiting with baited breath as he felt the younger man guiding himself to his entrance. Dean continued to kiss the Angel's neck, burying himself in the warmth of Castiel's body. Castiel groaned, his eyes sliding shut as he focused on the combined sensation of Dean's lips on his skin and the hard length surging inside of him.   
  
    "How's this feel, babe?" Dean asked, wrapping his arm back around Cas, holding him close as he struck a gentle rhythm with his hips.   
  
    "Um... ah... it's..." Castiel twisted his hips, pushing back against Dean's advances. "it's nice... I... yeah."  
  
    Dean chuckled, resting his forehead against the Angel's shoulder.   
  
    "Yeah?" he asked, his breathing starting to become shallow as he moved.   
  
    "Yes," Castiel moaned. "Dean..."  
  
    Dean brought his mouth back to Cas's shoulder, nipping and sucking at the skin. Castiel closed his eyes, feeling slightly vulnerable in his inability to provide any pleasure back to Dean, but he knew that was Dean's point - that this was for his enjoyment. There was something very erotic about hearing the hunter's sounds of effort so close to his ear and feeling the flex of his abdomen against his back. Dean rested his forehead against the back of Castiel's head, slipping his hand down and wrapping his finger's around the Angel's erection. Castiel sucked in a breath, reaching back to grip Dean's hip once again.   
  
    "Dean, please..." he gasped, "That's... uhn..."  
  
    Dean pulled his hand back, resting it on Cas's abdomen. He assumed that he was causing a bit of a sensory overload to the poor Angel, so he turned his focus to the spot inside that he knew would bring him to the most satisfying end. Tilting his hips forward, he drove deep into the older man's body, rubbing the taut bundle of nerves with the head of his shaft. Castiel leaned back into him, his fingers once again digging in to Dean's hip in silent instruction. Dean smiled, concentrating on that one spot until his husband was moaning.   
  
    "I gotcha, baby," Dean murmured, "Tell me what you need,"  
  
    "...don't stop," Cas whispered in reply. Dean complied, continuing to intimately massage Castiel inside until the Angel gasped, spilling his release onto the sheet. Dean waited until all of the small spasms of Castiel's orgasms subsided before pulling away. Cas lay back onto the bed, and Dean moved over him, settling back into his warmth and kissing him deeply. He didn't last much longer before he met his own end. He didn't move away immediately, laying in his spouse's arms and enjoying the comfort he found there.   
  
    When Dean did pull away and drop at the Angel's side, Castiel cuddled close to the hunter's chest and let Dean place an arm around him and pull him close. They were quiet a moment, letting their heart rates settle and their breathing slow down.   
  
    "I think I know what turns me on," Dean commented, causing Cas to look up at him. Dean grinned. "Making you moan my name before you come,"  
  
    Castiel blushed, turning his face back down against the hunter's chest.   
  
    "I thought you were just being kind," he spoke. Dean chuckled, shaking his head.   
  
    "No, I was being selfish - I guess the pillow was my kindness... Did it do any good?"  
  
    Castiel yawned.   
  
    "I was quiet comfortable," he answered, "But... I do like seeing your face."  
  
    Dean smiled. Yes, that was the one draw back of the position - not getting to see Cas's face when he was moaning his name. Minutes of quiet passed between them, and Dean could feel the Angel's breathing become deep and even. He leaned down to look at the other man's face, and confirmed that he was now asleep. Dean kissed his forehead, running his fingers through the Angel's wavy hair. After a moment, he reached out for his phone and dialed his brother's number. Sam answered on the second ring.   
  
    "Hey Dean," Sam whispered into the phone. "Hold on, just a second. I'm putting the baby down to sleep."  
  
    "Kiss her for me," Dean whispered back. He could hear the baby's tiny fussing cries as Sam placed her in the cradle, and he could hear his brother's soothing words as he calmed her back to sleep.   
  
    "Hey, I'm here now," Sam spoke, setting back on the bed. "What's up?"  
  
    "I told you I'd call and say good night, check on the baby,"  
  
    There was a second of silence before Sam replied, with laughter in his tone.   
  
    "Dean, I know you have other things going on. You don't have to call every day. Just call before you head back home... Where is Cas?"  
  
    "He's asleep," Dean answered, looking down at the Angel. Sam looked to the clock.   
  
    "It's only nine... Good job, brother..."  
  
    Dean chuckled, leaning down to kiss Cas's wavy hair one more time.  
  
    "I'm pretty talented," he boasted, sarcastically. Sam shook his head.   
  
    "Gross," he replied. "Well, anyway... Mary is fine, she's down for the night. I hope you don't mind, I'm sleeping in your room so it's more familiar for the baby,"  
  
    "That's fine," Dean replied. "Cas and I haven't had a chance to try that room out properly anyway."  
  
    "That's comforting," Sam said with a grin. "Well, have a good night Dean. I'll see you when you get home."  
  
    "Good night, Sammy."  
  
    Sam smiled, setting back on the bed.   
  
    "Good night, Dean,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean and Cas made the most of their next two days together, managing to see a bit more of the city and managing to see a lot more of each other. On the last night of their honeymoon, there was very little pretense and they went to bed shortly after seven but didn't make any effort to sleep. By nine, both men were sweaty and exhausted from effort. Dean had a hand on his chest, feeling the thudding of his heartbeat and he breathed deeply.   
  
    "Oh my god," he sighed, "That... that was awesome." he groaned, shifting on the bed. The wet, sticky sensation both slightly uncomfortable yet erotic. "I'll be surprised if my ass isn't sore tomorrow..."  
  
    Castiel lifted his head, looking to Dean with concern on his face.  
  
    "Was I too rough?" he asked, sitting up and looking down at his partner. "You kept saying 'harder'.. I was just trying to please you,"  
  
    Dean blushed scarlet, shaking his head.  
  
    "You did good, babe," he insisted, "It felt good."  
  
    "What if I hurt you?" Castiel continued, sitting up beside him. The Angel ran a hand through his damp hair as his eyes moved over Dean's body. "I do not have a human's strength."  
  
    "Cas, I'm - Hey!" Dean's blush deepened, but he feebly resisted as the Angel spread his legs to examine where he had been pounding into just moments ago. "Cas, jeez..."  
  
    Castiel gingerly examined Dean's opening, looking for any indication that he had harmed the other man. Dean breathed unsteadily, watching the Angel, unconsciously spreading his thighs wider.   
  
    "Is this tender at all?" Castiel asked concerned, his cool fingertips softly stroking the ring of muscle. Dean let out a shaky breath.  
  
    "No," he said, his voice rough. "Cas..."  
  
    Castiel continued to stroke the puckered flesh, glancing up to watch the way his actions made the younger man's shaft twitch with want.   
  
    "This arouses you?" he asked softly, looking up into Dean's flushed face. Dean licked his lips, nodding slightly. Castiel considered this information before speaking again. "Is it unusual... to have sex three times in one evening?"  
  
    "I never have," Dean told him, his mouth dry from desire. "But, It's not _wrong_..."  
  
    Castiel tilted his head, watching Dean's manhood slowly returning to an erect state as he continued to softly probe the other man's opening.   
  
    "I don't' want to harm you," he commented absently, but he adjusted his position, settling in between Dean's thighs, his knees on either side of the hunter's hips. The position spread Dean wider before him and the younger man groaned, tilting his hips toward Castiel in silent invitation, his face burning with embarrassment at the wantonness of his posture.   
      
    "Cas," he breathed, "You're making me crazy."  
  
    Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "I shouldn't penetrate you again," he explained, the words causing Dean to groan again. "I wouldn't want to cause further irritation. You should rest."  
  
    "Cas," Dean began again, feeling the heat on his face as he looked up at the Angel. Castiel's fingertips were causing a desire inside him that wanted to be relieved. "Cas please, just.." he sighed. "Just touch me."  
  
    Castiel's brows drew together, and he looked down on his husband with concern.  
  
    "When I am less than gentle with you," he asked, curiously. "Does that 'turn you on'..."  
  
    Dean's immediate reaction was to deny it, to scoff at the idea, but the man he was looking up at was his husband now, and he realized anything but the truth was pointless.   
  
    "Yeah..." he admitted. "it does."  
  
    Castiel sighed, feeling conflicted between concerns for his spouse's physical well being and the providing the erotic discomfort he desired.   
  
    "Dean, I..." Castiel paused, reaching for the lubricant and rubbing the clear jell over his fingers before dropping to smooth the now warm liquid over Dean's opening. Dean let out an unsteady breath, pressing back against the sensation. Castiel circled his fingertips, spreading the lubricant and building Dean's arousal. "Would you like..." he began, uncertainly. "to try the massager?"  
  
    Dean licked his lips, his voice quiet as he responded.   
  
    "Sure..."  
  
    Castiel leaned across him, taking the massager that had been returned to it's box and relegated to the bedside drawer. Dean watched him open the box, his face growing warm with the idea of what he was about to let Castiel do - it shouldn't have embarrassed him as much as it did, considering what he had let Castiel do only minutes ago. But the thought that he was about to let anyone put a vibrator in his ass, that was just something different altogether.   
  
    Castiel set the box aside, putting another measure of the lubricant into his palm to coat the exterior of the massager. He turned the knob at the base, getting a feel for the intensity of each setting before turning it off.   
  
    "Please tell me if you are uncomfortable," he requested of the hunter, before bringing the curved tip of the toy to run gently along the smooth expanse of skin beneath his testicles. Dean moaned, shifting in anticipation as the tip of the massager met his opening and Cas gently pressed it inside. The smooth plastic combined with the lubricant ensured an easy entrance and he eased the device in and out of Dean's body to acclimate him to the sensation. Dean closed his eyes, one hand rising to work itself into his hair, the other resting low on his abdomen. He bit his lip, feeling the gentle vibration begin to thrum through him. When it crossed that spot inside that struck a nerve, he gasped. "Is this painful?" Castiel asked, concerned. Dean shook his head, reaching down to guide Cas's hand, pressing the vibrator deeper inside until it connected with his already sensitive prostate.   
  
    "There," Dean hissed through gritted teeth. "Just... there..." He collapsed back onto the pillow, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. Castiel did as instructed, moving the massager just enough to keep from desensitizing that spot inside his spouse. Dean began to moan, rocking his hips back against the Angel's hand. Castiel increased the speed of the vibration and the hunter swore.   
  
    "Fuck - _ah_!," his hands fisted into the sheets, his thighs trembling. "Cas - nnn..."  
  
    "Is this too much?" Cas asked, backing off on the intensity. Dean shook his head.   
  
    "No. No..." His voice trailed off as he Castiel returned the speed to the second setting, slowly working the massager in short, thrusting strokes. Dean was squirming under his ministrations, biting his lip in frustration as he tried to move his hips to get the sensation he was craving. "Cas," he spoke, a plea in his tone. "Cas, you... I want you."  
  
    "Dean," Castiel sighed, unsure if he should comply. "Aren't you enjoying this?"  
  
    "Yeah, it's nice," Dean replied, his jaw tight as the vibration kept him just on the edge of release, and just when he thought he would get closer, caused him to feel more numb than anything. "But it's not you. C'mon baby, I'll be fine."  
  
    Castiel's expression showed that he was complying against his better judgment and he withdrew the massager, laying it aside as he picked up the lubricant and spread a satisfactory amount over his shaft. He lay a hand on the back of Dean's thigh, using the other to taking himself in hand and carefully push the head of his erection into Dean's body. Dean moaned, reaching out for Castiel, but the Angel didn't move to lie over him; instead, he kept his hands just behind Dean's knees, kneeling between the hunter's spread thighs and watching where their bodies met.   
  
    "Really, Cas?" Dean grunted, an embarrassed flush starting in his chest and rising up his throat as he watch the other man watching him. The Angel began a steady rhythm, trying to reignite the fire inside of Dean, thrusting as hard as he felt comfortably could. Dean's embarrassment quickly slipped away and the blooming, pulse of pleasure inside him took its place. Castiel brought one hand to his husband's shaft, heightening the sensation Dean was experiencing. Dean moaned, closing his eyes and rocking back against Cas as the Angel moved inside him. It was only moments before the hunter gasped, his release running over Castiel's fingers and dripping onto his belly.   
      
    Dean sighed, his body relaxing and he felt Castiel pull away.   
  
    "Oh my god," Dean groaned again, placing a hand on his chest. "I'm so tired, but I want to take a shower." he turned to the man at his side. "... thanks..."  
  
    Castiel leaned over, kissing Dean on the mouth and resting the flat of his palm on the hunters chest. It felt as though the cool temperature spread out from the Angel's hand and through his body, and the sweat and bodily fluids that were causing the discomfort seemed to disappear.   
  
    "How is that?" Cas asked, leaning down to kiss Dean once again.   
  
    "You didn't have to do that," Dean responded, stifling a yawn. "I don't want you to use your powers to... fix things. I just want you to be you... powers or not."  
  
    Castiel looked down at the hunter a moment, watching Dean look back at him with such acceptance.   
  
    "I understand." he said, laying close to Dean as the younger man was falling asleep. "I love you..."  
  
    "Oh Cas," Dean murmured, resting his head against the Angel's shoulder. "I'm not sure love is even the word for it..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You love him," Sam teased. "You are in love with Castiel."  
> Dean grinned, shaking his head and he threw the top sheet to his brother.  
> "Just help me," he said. Sam chuckled, unfolding the sheet and shaking it out over the bed.  
> "I just still have a hard time thinking about Cas in a romantic context," Sam explained. Dean gave a snort of amusement.  
> "I should hope so," he said. "I don't want you thinking about Cas in a romantic way."  
> Sam made a snort of laughter.  
> "You know what I mean..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, so I apologize. It just seemed to break in a nice place. More (omg, so much more) to come!

    The next morning, Dean pulled Castiel into the shower with him, disregarding the fact that he was probably clean enough to forgo the shower at all. After a leisurely breakfast, they got all of their belongings back into the suitcase, save the two shopping bags of baby items and souvenirs they had acquired during their stay. They checked out of the hotel, putting their bags into the Impala and heading for the highway. Dean dialed Sam's number, handing the phone to Castiel who had been eyeing him disapprovingly for using the telephone behind the wheel. Sam answered with a jovial tone.  
  
    "Hi guys!" he spoke, "I'm guessing you are heading our way?"  
  
    "Hello Sam," Cas replied, placing his hand over Dean's which was now resting on his thigh. "Yes, we are on our way home. Dean say's we should be there by half past two."  
  
    "Awesome - you hear that Mary? Your daddies are on their way home," Castiel smiled at Sam's words. Sam continued. "You guys drive safely, okay?"  
  
    "Dean drives very safely, Sam, you should have no reason to worry." Cas assured him. "We will see you shortly."  
  
    "I'll have lunch ready for you," Sam replied.  
  
    As promised, the Impala pulled into the driveway just shy of two thirty. Dean hadn't realized until that moment, seeing his brother emerge from the house with a wide grin on his face and his beautiful infant daughter in his arms, how much he had missed them both.  
  
    "Hey!" Sam called, stepping off of the porch and holding out the arm that wasn't securing the baby. Dean walked into his brother's embrace, giving him a hearty thump on the back before turning his attention down to the infant.  
  
    "Hello beautiful," Dean said warmly, pulling the baby into his arms. "Oh my god, you're so big! Was she this big when I left? Cas, look how big our baby is!"  
  
    Castiel smiled at the baby, leaning over to kiss her face.  
  
    "I missed her," he said, and the truth in his words was evident in his face. "May I hold her?"  
  
    Dean transferred the baby into the Angel's arms, turning to hug his brother again.  
  
    "I'll help you with you stuff," Sam offered, going to the car with Dean as Castiel continued into the house. "So, how was it? Did you have fun?"  
  
    Dean grinned, pulling the shopping bags from the back seat and handing them to Sam as he went back in for the suitcase.  
  
    "Yeah, it was great," he answered. "I mean, I'm sure you don't want to know how great but _oh my god it was great_." Sam chuckled, blushing a bit, but there was definitely a true underlying joy in his brother's joking expression. "How was it here? I hope it wasn't too much trouble."  
  
    "Gosh, no!" Sam replied. "Mary is the best baby ever. We pretty much spent all day fighting over who got to hold her and feed her and bathe her. We had a good time."  
  
    "Sounds like a good time," Dean agreed, following his brother into the house. Mrs. Winchester was there to greet him, hugging him tightly.  
  
    "Welcome home!" she said, taking the suitcase from his hands. "It's so good to see you,"  
      
    "You too, mom," he replied. "I can get the suitcase..."  
  
    "No problem," she said, waving him off. "I'll just take it to your room,"  
  
    "I got it," Sam broke in, relieving his mother of the suitcase and giving Dean a grin. Dean's grinned as well, and it widened into a smile when he turned to embrace his mentor.  
  
    "Hey, Bobby," Dean said, hugging the older man. "Thanks for holding down the fort,"  
  
    "Nah," Bobby told him. "We we're just kind of slaves to your little girl. So, you should probably just accept that's how it's going to be."  
  
    "Oh," Dean laughed, turning to where Castiel stood in the living room with the baby. "I think I've already got that figured out."  
  
    "Dean, look," Cas spoke, turning to the hunter and beckoning him closer. Dean moved to his side, awed by the collection of photos on the mantle and decorating the wall. Dean turned back to his mother. Without a word, he crossed back to her and hugged her tightly.  
  
    "Thank you," he whispered,  
  
    "You're welcome, baby," she replied, leaning back and cupping his face in her hands. "I'm so happy that you're happy," Dean nodded, but was unable to reply. She saved him from having to speak. "Let's get some lunch, huh?"  
  
    The group gathered around the table, settling in for a home cooked meal. Much to Dean's relief, Castiel kept to the neutral topics of their honeymoon, talking about how comfortable the room was, the view from the balcony and the interesting shops in the city. The Angel didn't do much of the talking, focusing instead on the baby in his arms. Dean couldn't blame him, he wanted to hold her himself.  
  
    "I think it was probably the best hotel room I've ever stayed in," Dean said, shaking his head as he thought. "And I've been in a lot of hotels. The carpet was ridiculous."  
  
    "Dean bought us the bedding," Castiel added, looking up from the baby in his arms. "There was a book by the bed that sold things they had in the room,"  
  
    "Yeah," Dean shrugged, "the single most expensive thing I think I have purchased to date. I should have bought that carpet..."  
  
    "That's sweet," Mary commented. "Did you boys take any pictures?"  
  
    "A few," Dean told her. Bobby smirked.  
  
    "Any you can share?" he asked. The comment caused laughter from everyone except Castiel. The Angel answered in a deadpan tone.  
  
    "Some of them."  
  
    The room erupted in laughter, Dean included even though he blushed hotly.  
  
    "Well," Mrs. Winchester spoke, rising from the table and giving Dean a supportive pat on the shoulder. "If you boys want to gather up your laundry, I can take care of that for you. I'd like to get you as settled as possible before Bobby and I head back to the salvage yard."  
  
    The levity came to a sudden quiet and Sam and Dean both turned to their mother.  
  
    "What do you mean?" Dean asked. "You really aren’t going to stay with us?"  
  
    Mary gave them a sympathetic look, running a hand over Sam's hair.  
  
    "Boys," she said. "I can't stay here. Bobby has offered to let me stay with him while we figure out how I can get back to some sort of life. I'm supposed to be dead."  
  
    "But," Sam stammered, looking from Mary to Dean and back. "Mom..."  
  
    "I won't be far away," she assured him. "And as soon as we think of a way to get me some sort of legitimate identity, I'll move closer."  
  
    "We should have settled in South Dakota," Dean replied grimly, shaking his head. Castiel turned to him.  
  
    "Is there an FBI office there?" he asked. Dean shrugged.  
  
    "I'm sure there is," he replied.  
  
    "Then we can move back someday, right?" Cas continued, turning to Bobby. "I want Mary to have grandparents."  
  
    Castiel wasn't aware of the emotional tsunami he just caused, but Bobby excused himself to the restroom. Dean stood, helping his mother clear the table, and he kissed the Angel on the top of the head as he passed behind him. After their meal, Dean gathered the laundry while Cas and Sam went into the living room to do nothing but obsess over the baby. When Dean returned, he settled at Castiel's side and the Angel relinquished the baby to her father.  
      
    Dean loved his mom, his brother, and Bobby, and falling in love with Castiel was a different and intense feeling. However, nothing compared to how much he loved the tiny little girl in his arms. He hoped it was enough to make him a better man, to make him the father that she deserved. As he looked around his house - which was slowly but surely shaping up into a proper home - he felt a twinge of hope. He tried to push away the feeling of dread that was always on hope's heels. He was going to enjoy every second of his good luck, without looking back.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    When evening came, Castiel took the baby up to bathe and dress her for bed, while Sam helped Dean put the new down filled mattress pad on the bed. It wasn't on the mattress more than seconds when Sam threw himself in the middle of it.  
  
    "Oh my god, this was worth every cent," Sam exclaimed. He looked up at his brother. "How much did this cost?"  
  
    "Too much," Dean replied, unfolding the fitting sheet and tossing half to the younger man. "But, Cas said it reminded him of heaven, so... what could I do?"  
  
    Sam could see the ghost of a smile that turned the other man's lips as he rose back to his feet to help dress the bed.  
  
    "You love him," Sam teased. "You are in love with Castiel,"  
  
    Dean grinned, shaking his head and he threw the top sheet to his brother.  
  
    "Just help me," he said. Sam chuckled, unfolding the sheet and shaking it out over the bed.  
  
    "I just still have a hard time thinking about Cas in a romantic context," he explained. Dean gave a snort of amusement.  
  
    "I should hope so," he said. "I don't want you thinking about Cas in a romantic way."  
  
    Sam made a snort of laughter.  
  
    "You know what I mean..."  
  
    Once the bed was made, Dean unfolded the comforter and lay it out across the top of the mattress. Sam lay back out across the bed, and Dean settled at his side. Sam folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling before speaking.  
  
    "So,"  he said, glancing to his brother. "Hows married life treating you?"  
  
    Dean sighed, adjusting the pillows behind his head and folding his arms across his chest.  
  
    "I don't know how the day to day stuff is going to go, but so far... it's pretty damn good." he admitted. "I dunno Sam," he shook his head, as if unable to come right out and say what he wanted to. "I just... you know, when I've heard people talk about this kind of stuff, I always thought they were full of shit... but... Damnit Sammy, I do love him."  
  
    Sam grinned, but both stayed silent as the Angel in question entered the room, carrying his daughter.  
  
    "Does she feel warm to you, Dean?" he asked, bringing the infant to the bedside. Dean sat up and pressed him palm to the baby's forehead.  
  
    "A bit," he answered, taking the child from his arms. "But, I think she always feels a little warm."  
  
    "Well," Sam sighed, leaning over to kiss the baby before rising from the bed. "I'll let you guys get to bed," he embraced Castiel. "Welcome home, brother. And you know, she is always a little warm. You’re cool now."  
  
    "Thank you, Sam," Cas replied, smiling. He felt honored by Sam’s hug and being addressed as ‘brother’. "Sleep well,"  
  
    Sam nodded, leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind himself. Dean rose from the bed, walking the baby around the room in an attempt to get her to sleep. Castiel watched him a moment before crossing to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When he returned, dressed in his pajama pants and t-shirt, Dean was laying the baby gently in her cradle.  
  
    "We need to get her a real crib soon, " Dean told the Angel as he tucked a thin blanket around the infant.  
  
    "Will the crib be in the room across the hall?" he asked, setting onto the newly made bed. Dean smirked, kicking off his shoes and undoing his jeans.  
  
    "Well, that is the nursery," he informed the Angel. "That's the baby's room."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed as he pushed back the comforter and got beneath the sheet.  
  
    "But, she doesn't have to sleep in there right away," Cas commented, watching his husband strip down to nothing but his boxers and toss his clothes into the hamper. "We can wait until she's a bit older, right?"  
  
    "Like five?" Dean asked with a laugh, crossing into the bathroom. Castiel shrugged, looking over at the baby in her cradle.  
  
    "She's only three months old, Dean," he reasoned. "She is awful little to be alone." He waited until Dean returned to the room to continue. "Shouldn't we wait until she's at least eight months old?... a year?"  
  
    Dean smiled, crawling onto the bed over Castiel and looking down at him.  
  
    "Because eventually," he said lowly. "It will change from her keeping us up at night, to us keeping her up. And she's a baby - she needs her sleep."  
  
    Castiel blushed, shaking his head but letting Dean kiss him. He sighed as Dean moved away, crossing the room to turn off the overhead light before returning to the bed to slide in beside his husband. Dean wrapped his arms around the Angel, settling comfortably in the bed, embracing him. They lay quietly together a moment before Castiel whispered into the darkness.  
  
    "I had a good time while we were away. I really enjoyed being alone with you. But, now that we are home... I feel like our life together has really started," he said, and Dean smiled. "And that makes me happy. I'm really looking forward it."  
  
    "Me too, baby," Dean murmured, kissing Cas lightly on the mouth. Castiel smiled against Dean's lips, accepting the next kiss with more enthusiasm. It didn't take long before Dean was on top of the Angel, settled between the older man's thighs, and kissing him passionately. Castiel moaned with desire as Dean rocked his hips against him, and slid his hands up under the Angel's shirt. "Cas," Dean spoke, breaking away.  
  
    "Yes?" Castiel replied, breathlessly. Dean grinned.  
  
    "I want to undress."  
  
    Castiel's chuckle was swallowed by Dean's lips, and they only broke again when Dean pulled the shirt over his Angel's head. Their breathing was becoming heavy but shallow, and Dean turned his attention to Castiel's throat as he dropped his hand to push Castiel's pants down his hips. He was forced to sit up to help his husband strip from his pajama pants, but as soon as the cotton fabric hit the floor, Dean was over him and kissing him deeply.  
  
    Dean pressed his forehead to Castiel's, sighing as he spoke.  
  
    "Cas... I love you,"  
      
    Castiel closed his eyes, resting his hands on Dean's hips.  
  
    "I'll never tire of hearing that," he spoke. Dean smiled. He didn't think he would tire of saying it - and that was an odd thought for him. But Castiel made him want to be involved in all those emotional responses that he always considered not very manly. Being a father now may have had just a little bit to do with it too.  
  
    "I love you," Dean repeated, leaning down to plant warm kisses on the Angel's throat. Cas ran his hands over Dean's lean, muscular torso, pulling him close. Dean reached out for the bottle of lubricant, already tucked back into the bedside table drawer. Castiel took it from his hand, opening the top and pouring the clear gel into his own palm. Dean's brow creased only slightly as he considered that Cas may be wanting something different than the direction he thought they had been going in, but the older man lowered his hands between them, using one hand to push Dean's boxers down his hip. Dean reached down, tugging the other side of the fabric away and groaning as he felt Castiel take hold of his erection and slowly stroke the lubricant over his shaft.  
  
    Dean closed his eyes, biting his lip as he focused on the smooth friction and he resisted the urge to thrust into Castiel's palm.  
  
    "I got it, babe," he murmured, taking his shaft in hand and guiding himself to the Angel's entrance. Castiel tilted his hips toward Dean's advance, but relaxed under his husband, enjoying the sensation of being so intimately touched. Dean brought his lips back to Cas's, moving slowly and purposefully into the warmth beneath him. Dean couldn't remember ever being with someone that actually made him feel like he was 'making love', but he truly gave himself into every motion, every kiss, every breath when he was with this man.  
  
    " _Dean_ ," Castiel moaned, his fingers digging into Dean's back as his climax loomed.  
  
    "I'll never tire of hearing that," Dean replied, the rhythm of his hips pushing Cas over the edge of release. The Angel gasped, groaning in relief as the last of the spasms subsided and he was spent from the intensity. Dean wasn't far behind him, letting go as he buried himself into Castiel's warmth. He lay over his husband, waiting for the feeling of release to fade before pulling away and adjusting his boxers back over his hips. He then pulled the Angel close, holding him in his arms.    
  
    Much to Dean's surprise, Castiel was asleep not long after, but he kept his arms around him, unable to stop placing soft kisses on the other man's temple and forehead. After many long moments, Dean disentangled himself from his husband and went into the bathroom to relieve himself and clean himself up a bit. He then slipped from the room into the dark house, making his way down into the kitchen, being careful not to wake Bobby who was asleep on the sofa.  
  
    The house was quiet, and Dean stepped carefully onto the cool tile, opening the fridge and peering inside. He grabbed a beer, opening the bottle and taking a a large drink. He leaned back against the counter, running a hand through his hair. He took another drink. It didn't seem exactly fair that he was having such good luck when both Sam and his mom were still in limbo. And whenever he enjoyed that good fortune, it was followed by a measure of guilt.  
  
    There was a sound from the back of the house that put Dean on edge, but he relaxed when he Sam came into view.  
  
    "Dean?" he asked, his brow creasing, surprised at seeing his brother there. "What are you doing? Is everything okay? I thought you went to bed an hour ago."  
  
    "I wanted a drink," Dean replied, indicating the bottle in his hand. "I was just about to head back up."  
  
    Sam looked as though he were considering the excuse, and he shrugged, crossing the fridge and getting his own beer before moving to lean against the counter by his brother.  
  
    "Cas expecting you back?" he asked before taking a drink. Dean shook his head.  
  
    "Nah, he's out." he answered. Sam smirked.  
  
    "Like, asleep?" he asked, "I thought he got his Angel mojo back and didn't have those human needs anymore."  
  
    Dean sighed.  
  
    "Something happened to his grace - he told me it was damaged somehow. Now..." he made a helpless sort of gesture with his hands. "Now things come and go  - mostly just eating and sleeping. But... it doesn't matter."  
  
    Sam had concern on his face upon hearing this answer.  
  
    "Is he okay? I mean... does that make him... sad?"  
  
    Dean frowned. He never thought to ask Castiel if he was sad by his grace being damaged. The thought of Castiel sad... it was physically painful. Sam could tell by the look on his brother's face that it was something that hadn't been discussed. He wasn't sure if it was because Castiel had already assured him it was fine, but one thing he knew for sure - and that was that Dean would not be afraid of talking feelings with the Angel. Not anymore.  
  
    "He's probably just happy to be with you, Dean," he added, comfortingly.  
  
    Dean sighed, turning to look into the cupboard for snacks and he heard Sam snort out his beer. Dean turned back to him.  
  
    "What?" he asked, watching his brother wipe his mouth on the back of his hand.  
  
    "Um, yeah," Sam said, laughter in his voice. "I wouldn't have come down here without a shirt on..."  
  
    Dean rolled his shoulder forward, trying to look at his back. He sighed, catching a glimpse of the deep pink marks on his skin where Cas had held him when he was overtaken with his passion. Dean chuckled self-consciously.  
  
    "Um... huh..."  
  
    Sam smiled at him, but spoke in a teasing way.  
  
    "What if I had been mom?" he asked. Dean shook his head, taking another long drink from his bottle.  
  
    "I'm married to him, Sammy," he replied. Then he sighed. "I married Cas. _Cas_..." he shook his head again. "I feel pretty stupid that I didn't know what love was before this. I thought I did. Man, was I wrong."      
  
    "I should have known you loved him," Sam told him. "I mean, when I think about how you two always looked at each other... that was serious 'fuck me' eyes..."  
  
    "Shut up," Dean chuckled, pushing his brother in the arm. Sam laughed harder, and he motioned his brother to follow him.  
  
    "Sit down with me for a minute,"  
  
    Dean followed Sam through the living room and down the small flight of stairs to his brother’s room. They settled on the floor next to the bed. Sam held out his bottle and Dean clinked his against the side and they shared a drink in silence.  
  
    "So," Sam began. "How did getting married feel?"  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, looking around the room before he answered.  
  
    "Pretty good," he replied, smiling at the framed picture of baby Mary on the nightstand. It was Sam’s sole decoration so far. "I was a little nervous, but not to marry Cas. Just... to marry him in front of people. Everyone's been so nice though...And you know, for so long 'family' has just meant you and me, and now..." he looked over at his brother. "We got more family." he was quiet for a moment before adding. "I'm glad you're still with me."  
  
    Sam raised his beer to his brother.  
  
    "Wouldn't be the same without you," he said. "Which reminds me - I got you 'thank you' cards for your wedding gifts. The wedding etiquette blogs I've looked at said you should send them out within a month."  
  
    Dean grimaced.  
  
    "How do I know who even gave us stuff?" he asked. "Aside from you guys?"  
  
    Sam grimaced, laughing slightly.  
  
    "I wrote it all down," he informed him. "What and from who. The only one I didn't get was from Pamela. What did she get you?"  
  
    Dean choked on his beer, and the very reaction made Sam blush. Sam's mortified expression actually made it easier to answer.  
  
    "Sex position book," Dean laughed at Sam's 'oh my god' expression. "It was such a sweet gift." Dean told him. He gave a smirk, raising his bottle to his lips. "Put it to damn good use,"  
  
    "Okay," Sam spoke, turning in his seat and lowering his voice. "I got to ask - and you don't have to answer - but..." he stared at Dean for a moment before continuing. "Is it that different? I mean -" he stammered a moment. "I guess, it depends on what you're doing, but-"  
  
    "Sam," Dean interrupted, giving a bit of a laugh as he raised a hand. "It's not that different. It’s still awesome."  
  
    Sam shook his head in disbelief, but he knew his brother was serious. That look in Dean's eyes, that was love.  
  
    "Well, it's obvious Cas feels the same about you," he tease. "From the state of your back," Dean sighed.  
  
    "I hope so." he replied, running a hand over his hair. "I just want him to be happy."  
  
    Sam reached over and gave his brother a supportive pat on the shoulder.  
  
    "I'm sure he is."  
  
    The sound of the footfalls of the stairs drew their attention. Castiel called quietly down into the room.  
  
    "Dean?"  
  
    "I'm here, babe," Dean called back, getting to his feet. Castiel came to stop in the doorway, his pajamas rumpled and his hair disheveled from sleep. His eyes were narrowed from fatigue and he looked from Dean to Sam.  
  
    "Is everything okay?"  
  
    "Yeah," Dean assured him, moving to his side. "We were just talking. Having a drink."  
  
    "Oh," Castiel nodded, his eyes narrowing a bit more as he processed the answer. "I'll return to bed,"  
  
    "I'll come with you," Dean replied, turning back to his brother. "Good night, Sammy,"  
  
    "Good night, guys," Sam called back, watching Dean place a hand on the small of Castiel's back and lead him back toward the stairs. He sighed, keeping his place on the floor for a moment as he continued to drink in silence. When he reached the bottom of the bottle, he rose to his feet, crossing to the door and closing it.  
  
    He couldn't articulate how happy he was for Dean, for finding someone who loved him and someone he could love. Hearing Dean call the Angel 'babe', seeing the way he touched him, seeing the look on Dean's face when he talked about him - it made Sam feel like he could almost quit worrying about his older brother. It also wasn't a bad thing that Dean was apparently putting Cas though his paces enough to leave bruises on his back, and that was nothing to complain about. Dean always had a big appetite, so it was lucky they were sexually compatible. Not that he wanted to know that, but part of his was glad to know - for Dean's sake.    
      
    Sam put the beer bottles on the side table and pulled back the sheet to return to bed. Clicking off the lamp, he rolled onto his side and starred wide-eyed into the darkness. It seemed like, if Dean and Cas were married, the odds of him finding someone to share a life with didn't seem too impossible. Of course, Dean and Cas seemed meant to be. And his 'meant to be' was dead...  
  
    Sam closed his eyes, pulling the extra pillow into his chest and holding tightly to it. Sure, there had been others since Jess - others that filled that base need for sexual release, but truth be told, when all things were considered, he probably should have just taken that comfort in his hand - he would have felt less guilty... and dirty. Because no one could fill the gaping hole in his heart. The way Cas was for Dean, Jess was for him. And he was beginning to realize it was only her, that anything else would be settling. And he wondered if that would be fair to some other women, to be the one he settled for; to be the one who would always be second choice.  
      
    Jess was everything. When he thought about happy, normal life, he thought of Jess. Not just for her beauty - and she was perfect - but for her courage, her goodness, her compassion, and her spirit. She came into his life just when he needed her to, after his dad practically disowned him for wanting more out of life, after leaving his brother who desperately tried to make him stay, and he set out for the first time alone and penniless, without many skills for living in the real world. And Jess took his hand, like a lifeline, and giggled at his inexperience in the world, but kept hold of his hand as she lead him through it. And she loved him, just as he was - shy and awkward and slightly broken.  
  
    Sam groaned, pressing his face to the pillow as his body began to react to thoughts of the willowy blonde. He wasn't drunk enough to try and manage the tightness that was now building in his groin. The last time he tried, calling out Jess's name as he came, he spent the next half hour crying his shame into the sheets. He missed her, not just her body, but the way she made him feel, the way she touched him, the way she looked at him... and he missed her. He just missed her.  
  
    Sam brought a hand to his eyes, wiping away the wetness that pooled on his lower lashes, surprised that he still had tears left after all that he'd shed over her in the last five years. It made him feel like a jealous jerk to cry over his loss because of Dean's fortune. He wanted happiness for Dean. More than anything.  
  
    There was a sudden breeze and a whooshing sound that caused Sam to roll over and look into the darkness. It sounded as though Cas had entered the room. Sam reached out and snapped on the light, sucking in a gasp of surprise.  
  
    "Amariel," he said, sitting up. "What are you doing here?"  
  
    The dark haired angel smiled, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
    "I came earlier to see my brother but, well..." She laughed uneasily and blushed. "He was busy... really busy."  
  
    Sam groaned, sliding his long legs off the side of the bed.  
  
    "What do you want, Amariel? Is Cas okay?" he asked.  
  
    Amariel smiled, taking a step closer to his bedside.  
  
    "Cas is _fine_ ," she answer with a grin, causing Sam to be the one who blushed. "He's doing great, and I'm happy for that."  
  
    "I am too," Sam told her, looking back up. He wondered for a moment if Jimmy's cousin knew her meat suit was out this late at night. "Cas is a great guy. My brother is a great guy. They deserve to be happy together."  
  
    "I know," she said. "You're brother did a great thing, letting go of his pride to pull my brother back from the brink of damnation. It's a beautiful thing when love actually does conquer." Sam smiled blandly. "So, I'm here to deliver his final gift.” she explained. “Well, this one is actually for both of them."  
  
    Sam's eyebrows raised and he stood.  
  
    "I'll go get them. They'd want to be awake for this,"  
  
    "No," Amariel said, holding up a hand to stop him. Sam's brow creased in confusion. Amariel smiled. "The gift is technically for your brother and mine - something they both want very much - prayed for even."  
  
    "Another baby?" Sam asked. Amariel's smile softened.  
  
    "Indirectly, maybe," she said, causing Sam's expression to become confused. "It's for them," she explained. "But the one who will really benefit, is you."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean stood, turning glaring eyes to the angel behind him. His lip curled in anger.  
> "What is your fucking scheme, Amariel?" he demanded harshly. "What is going on?"  
> Amariel grimaced, taking a step away from the man who towered over her vessel by a good six inches.  
> "I gave your brother the gift he'd been praying for," she explained, looking at him as though he'd gone mad. "That you'd been praying for too, as a matter of fact. Why are you so angry?"  
> "Because it doesn't make any damn sense," Dean hissed back, jabbing the air with his finger. "You say I've done something good to deserve all this, but what, huh?" he demanded, the darkness of the night covering the heated blush on his bare skin. "You expect me to believe that one night I - I finally take you brother to bed and heaven then grants wishes and rainbows and happiness?"  
> Amariel frowned, her nose wrinkling in irritation as she glared at the human.  
> "This was never about sex, Dean," she told him humorlessly. "It was never sex. You could have remained platonic with my brother to this very day and all these gifts would have still been yours."  
> "Why?" he demanded again. "Why? What did I ever do for this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot going on - A LOT. But, I hope you enjoy. This is probably my last update today. I got some homework to do. Blah... Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!

**Chapter specific warning: mentions of anxiety**

 

    Sam blinked at the angel.  
  
    "What?"  
  
    Amariel smiled, reaching out for his hand.  
  
    "Let's take a journey together, Sam," she told him. "This last gift - for Dean, for Castiel - is for you,"  
  
    Sam wasn't sure what she was telling him, but he reached out anyway, taking her hand. The moment his skin touched hers, the room around him was gone and he was standing in the sunlight. He pulled away, looking around him. He knew this place.  
  
    "This is the Palo Alto arboretum and botanical garden..." he looked in awe at the beauty around him, before it dawned on him that he was still in his pajamas. "How are we here it's..." he looked up into the blue, sunny sky. "it's the middle of the night,"  
  
    "We're not really in Palo Alto," Amariel told him, clasping her hands behind her back. Sam looked back to her, his eyes narrow.  
  
    "Are we... in heaven?" he asked. Amariel smiled warmly at him, turning to look at the garden around her.  
  
    "What makes you ask that?" she said. Sam shrugged, turning to view the area around him as well.  
  
    "It's beautiful." he began. "It's what I would think of for heaven."  
  
    Amariel prompted him.  
  
    "Why?"  
  
    Sam drug one large hand through his hair before rubbing the back on his neck.  
  
    "Because... this is where I took Jess on our first date," he said, a light pink tinge coloring his face. "It's where I'd want to spend eternity."  
  
    Amariel's smile grew wider, and she beamed at him.  
  
    "Funny you should say that," she commented. Sam didn't have time to question her statement, as a soft voice behind him spoke.  
  
    "Sam?"  
  
    Sam felt a hot wave of fear and excitement burst from his belly and travel up his body and he turned, desperate to see the face that he knew, knew like he knew his own name, that belonged to that voice. His eyes settled on the women that he hadn't seen for five years, yet saw every time he closed his eyes.  
  
    "Jess..." the word came out of his mouth almost broken with emotion. The blonde smile at him, lifting her arms and he walked into them without question. "Jess," he said again, tears falling unrestrained as he held her tightly. "This is a dream, this has to be a dream."  
  
    Jessica tightened her grip around Sam's broad shoulders, watching Amariel turn and disappear. She ran her hand through his hair.  
  
    "Haven't cut your hair since I saw you last?" she asked, and Sam could hear the smile in her voice. He pulled back, letting her brush the tears from his cheeks.  
  
    "Jess... how can this be real?" he said. She smiled up at him.  
  
    "You hunt witches and vampires and demons, and you're wondering how this can be real?" she returned, taking his hand and leading him to a wrought iron bench. He sat at her side, keeping her hand in his.  
  
    "That's different," he insisted. "That stuff, it's all... pain. This..." he shook his head. Jessica gently patted his hand.  
  
    "The angel told me that you've been through a lot these last few years," she told him, her eyes finally leaving his, focusing on his hands and his gaze followed. "As if you hadn't been through enough," there was slight bitterness in her tone that made Sam look back up at her face. "But she told me, well," she gave a small laugh, "This odd story about her brother and your brother, and how somehow they earned rewards from heaven... and how, on your brother-in-law's wedding day, he got down on his knees and prayed with all his heart - not that his marriage would last or that your brother would love him for eternity -" she smiled, "but that you would be happy. And the angel seemed to think that the thing that would make you happy... is me."  
  
    Sam felt the hot tears threatening at the back of his eyes again, not just because he was sitting with his Jess, but to hear that Cas's prayer was for him.  
  
    "You do make me happy, Jess," he told her, but there was regret in his tone. "Would make me happy. But... I'm not the man you knew. He's... he's gone." the muscles in his throat contracted with emotion, but he fought it to continue. "I've done things... things that I'm not proud of... things that make me... not worthy of you,"  
  
    "Sam," Jessica spoke, stopping his speech as she reached for his face, forcing him to look into her eyes. "I don't care about what you've done. I care about who you are." the tears began to roll silently down his face once again, and both ignored them. "An angel came to me and asked if I wanted the chance to live a life with you again, and I said 'yes'. When she asks you the same thing..." she shook her head, the corners of her lips twitching as she swallowed. "what will your answer be?"  
  
    "How can you still want me?" he asked, bringing a hand up and gently brushing his fingers along her cheek. "After what happened to you because of me. After what-" he broke off, closing his eyes and shaking his head, the memory of the last time he had seen her, the look of shock frozen on her face as flames engulfed her. "... and the things I've-"  
  
    "Sam," she said once more, soothingly, as she pulled him down into her arms. He cried unabashedly against her shoulder for a moment, clutching her against him. Jessica stroked his hair and his back, resting her head against his. "It's okay, Gee," she cooed. Sam laughed, in spite of himself, at the term of endearment - a shortened version of the word 'giraffe', which she's called him before she even knew his name.  
  
    He sat up, wiping his eyes and looking down at her.  
  
    "I can't believe you're here," he said, touching her face. "I can't believe... I miss you."  
  
    Jessica smiled, placing her hand over his, holding it against her cheek.  
  
    "I miss you." she said. "And I like it here, but it's not the life I want. The life I want to be living with you." she smiled warmly, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear. "But I can wait, if I have to. If that's what you need. I just want you to be happy."  
  
    Sam looked down at her, wondering if this could be true. Because it felt too good to be true.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After Dean and Cas returned to bed, Dean spooned in behind his husband and the Angel fell quickly back to sleep. It took Dean a bit longer, but soon he too was in a deep slumber. It was past one a.m., the moon in the sky casting a bluish light across the room, when Dean was softly shaken awake.  
  
    Instinctively, he put out an arm across Castiel, as if he could protect him from whatever was trying to wake them as he turned toward the intruder. Blinking against the darkness, Dean could soon see the figure of his brother becoming more defined in the moonlight.  
  
    "Sammy?" he spoke, but as he became more accustomed to the dim light and could make out the wet sheen in his brother's eyes and the tear tracks on his face, he sat up quickly. "What's wrong?"  
  
    "Come downstairs with me," Sam whispered, rising from where he knelt by the bed. "Please."  
  
    Dean looked back over his shoulder to where the Angel continued to sleep, and gently move to place his feet on the floor. The motion caused Castiel to stir, and he turned to look at the brothers. Before he could speak, Dean leaned back across the bed.  
  
    "Go back to sleep, baby," he spoke, brushing a kiss across the other man's forehead. "I'll be right back. Everything's okay."  
  
    Cas nodded, but lay on his back to watch the two brothers leave the room. Dean moved quietly behind Sam, wondering for a moment how someone so big could be so graceful as they passed through the living room and down the stairs.  
  
    "Sam, what's going on?" Dean whispered, following the younger man into his room. He stopped dead in the doorway, watching as Sam crossed to the bed where a young, blonde woman sat. She stood, smiling warmly at Dean and taking the hand that Sam held out to her. "... Jess?..." Dean spoke, cautiously.  
  
    "Hello again, Dean," she replied.  
  
    Dean looked from her to Sam, his mouth agape as he tried to find the words. The next thing from his lips was:  
  
    "Amariel?"  
  
    Sam nodded.  
  
    "She didn't say why," Sam began. "I mean, she said it was the final gift. That Cas prayed for this on your wedding day - I mean, not specifically this, but for me to be happy. And Dean..." the younger man stammered a moment, looking from his brother down to the woman at his side. His voice was a harsh, whisper of emotion when he finished. "I'm so happy..."  
  
    Dean nodded, swallowing the lump that rose up in his throat.  
  
    "I'm glad. Jess, I'm glad.. that you're safe. That... that you chose to come back." he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know you had a choice."  
  
    "No choice," Jessica replied, looking up at Sam with such delicate affection. "or easy choice, I guess," she said with a laugh that thinly veiled tears. "I'm sorry for adding one more body under your roof. I know you just got back from your honeymoon-"  
  
    "Nah," Dean grunted, shaking his head. "No worries. I... I'm just sorry that we... we... jeez, Sammy - what is our plan?"  
  
    Sam shrugged.  
  
    "I don't know. We'll think of something." he replied. "Jess's parents will want to see her again. She'll want to get back to having a life, finishing school or whatever,"  
  
    Dean licked his dry lips, running a hand through his hair.  
  
    "Bobby'll think of something." he said, assuredly. He looked up at the two for a moment, before crossing and putting his arms around them both. "We'll think of something." he stepped back. "In the morning." he squeezed Sam's shoulder before crossing his arms over his chest, suddenly very aware he was in nothing but his boxers. "Get some sleep. We'll work out a game plan after some rest and breakfast, okay?"  
  
    Sam nodded, and Jess mirrored him. Dean took a deep breath.  
  
    "Okay," he said, looking to the blonde. "You need anything?"  
  
    She shook her head, smiling at him with gratitude.  
  
    "No. I can borrow something of Sam's to sleep in. And he always used such nice bath products that I don't mind sharing those either." Sam laughed, but sniffed back tears. Jessica slipped an arm around his waist and hugged him. "Thank you Dean. I should be fine."  
  
    "Alright," he reached out again for Sam, and the younger man moved toward him, hugging him tightly.  
  
    "Thank you, Dean," he whispered tightly. "Thank you so much. Thank you... and Cas. Thank Cas."  
  
    Dean thumped him on the back, nodding.  
  
    "Don't worry about it, Sammy," he insisted. "Get some sleep. Just... get some sleep."  
  
    The young couple bid him good night as he turned and headed back upstairs. He could hear their hushed voices and his brother's continued tears until he shut the bedroom door behind himself. For some reason, his chest felt tight and each breath became harder to take in. Instead of heading back to his own room, he moved though the house to the back door, stepping out into the yard for some fresh air.  
  
    The night was still and cool, and a gently breeze blew against his warm skin as he placed his bare feet on the cement patio. Things were too good to be true, something was wrong - too wrong. He knew it. He could feel it in his bones.  
  
    Dean squatted down, trying to gulp down air as the tightness in his chest increased. He couldn't figure out what the end game was in all this. What was the hook? It had to be something big, something bad - something to rain hell down on him to compensate for the joy he was feeling now.  
  
    "Are you okay, Dean?"  
  
    Dean stood, turning glaring eyes to the angel behind him. His lip curled in anger.  
  
    "What is your fucking scheme, Amariel?" he demanded harshly. "What is going on?"  
  
    Amariel grimaced, taking a step away from the man who towered over her vessel by a good six inches.  
  
    "I gave your brother the gift he'd been praying for," she explained, looking at him as though he'd gone mad. "That you'd been praying for too, as a matter of fact. Why are you so angry?"  
  
    "Because it doesn't make any damn sense," Dean hissed back, jabbing the air with his finger. "You say I've done something good to deserve all this, but what, huh?" he demanded, the darkness of the night covering the heated blush on his bare skin. "You expect me to believe that one night I - I finally take you brother to bed and heaven then grants wishes and rainbows and happiness?"  
  
    Amariel frowned, her nose wrinkling in irritation as she glared at the human.  
  
    "This was never about sex, Dean," she told him humorlessly. "It was never sex. You could have remained platonic with my brother to this very day and all these gifts would have still been yours."  
  
    "Why?" he demanded again. "Why? What did I ever do for this?"  
  
    "Don't you human's have an expression about gift horses?" she asked, wryly. Dean scowled.  
  
    "Do not bullshit me right now," he snapped. "I'm in no mood. You expect me to believe that this is real and not some epic set-up, then I'm going to need something to go on."  
  
    Amariel watched him closely a moment before she sighed.  
  
    "You showed faith, you know. And you restored my brother's faith. You may not realize it, but this was important."  
  
    "How?" Dean stressed, shaking his hands in frustration. "How did I do that? Why is it so important?"  
  
    "You listened," she replied. "You stopped thinking about _you_ for one moment." Dean looked affronted, but let her continue. "You stopped forcing you were right on everyone and actually took a moment to _show_ them that you were. When Castiel was walking a dangerous path, you didn't try to steamroll him off of it. You took time to notice his hardship and you talked to him; let him talk to you. Showed him that you cared and that there was another way."  
  
    "I get that," Dean told her, placing his hands on his hips to keep them from shaking. "I get that I stopped Cas from making a deal with Crowley. But... so what?"  
  
    Amariel laughed.  
  
    "So what?" she asked. "Do you really want to know?"  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed and a small part of him said 'no', but he replied.  
  
    "Yes."  
  
    The angel stepped forward, lifting her hand to Dean's forehead and pressing her skin against his.  
  
    It burned.  
  
    Dean's vision went white and his senses were assaulted with a barrage of sights and sounds. Cas and Crowley. Balthazar and Sam. Lucifer. He watched, stunned and shocked, unable to stop the flow of information. Sam without a soul. Samuel and the vampires. Purgatory. Leviathan. Cas becoming god. Dean felt his stomach churn at the face he loved so much showing such reckless cruelty. And it only got worse. Losing Cas to the monsters. Sam near insane with torment. The way he treated Castiel, even when he was hurt and broken. Sam's slow destruction during the trials to close hell. Cas being seduced by the schemes of Metatron. The angels falling. Letting Sam be possessed by an angel he knew nothing of. Allowing the man he loved to struggle hopelessly, to be deceived and used, and then throwing him out into the world, alone and unprepared. His own shady deal with the king of hell. The mark of Cain. The blood, the carnage, the raw rage that burned through him and set fire to those he loved. The deception that ruined his relationship with his brother, with his Angel. And all the while the pain and devastation that was ravaging the earth.  
  
    Dean sucked in a deep breath when the angel finally pulled her hand away from his face. He felt as though his heart had only now resumed to beat. He stared at her, stunned and shaken.  
  
    "There," she told him, sternly. "So when an angel tells you there is good reason, maybe you should just believe it. Have faith."  
  
    There was a rush of wind and wings and Dean stood alone, shivering in the cool California night.  
  
    So all of that would have happened? All of that was averted because one night, one regular, innocuous night, Dean chose to put his ego aside and talk feelings with Cas, to let the Angel have a shoulder to lean on without fear of judgment or rejection, and Dean steered him back into the light. And with love, kept him there.  
  
    Dean turned back into the house, locking the patio door securely and walking quietly back to his room. The lamp on his side table was lit and Castiel was setting on the edge of the bed, waiting.  
  
    "Dean," he spoke, concern in his voice as he watched the younger man shut the door behind him. "Are you alright? What's wrong with Sam?"  
  
    Without a word, Dean crossed to his Angel and dropped to his knees before him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Cas brought his hands to the hunters back, returning the embrace.  
  
    "Dean, please," he said, trying to look down into his husband's face. "Are you alright?"  
  
    "I'm fine," Dean murmured, "I'm fine I... I love you," he looked up into Castiel's eyes. His heart still hurt from seeing all those things that Cas may have been put through, and he pulled the Angel against him. "I love you so much."  
  
    "Dean, you're scaring me," Castiel told him honestly, pushing Dean's hair back and looking down into his face. "What happened."  
  
    "I got my last 'gift'," he answered. "Amariel asked Jess if she wanted to come back and be with Sam, and she said yes." he gave a huff of laughter, fighting back tears. "Sam just came up here to let me know... that she's here... and that he's happy..." he smiled, feebly, shaking his head and dropping his gaze.  
  
    Castiel gently ran his hand over Dean's hair, slowly, letting his fingers slip through the auburn strands.  
  
    "And you are happy?" he asked, quietly. Dean nodded.  
  
    "Of course," he replied. "My brother is happy. I have my mom. I have a baby. I have you." he looked up at the Angel. "Of course I'm happy."  
  
    Castiel's smile was soft, and he trailed his fingertips over the hunter's brow.  
  
    "And you trust me?" he asked, quietly. Dean's eyebrows drew together, but he nodded.  
  
    "Yeah, Cas," he said. "Of course."  
  
    Castiel continued to softy stroke his hand through his husband’s hair as he spoke.  
  
    "Then you don't have to be afraid to cry." he told the younger man, gently. "I can tell what you are feeling right now is profound... I'm here for you,"  
  
    Dean stared at the Angel a moment, dumbfounded, and he laughed - and was surprised that it came out as a sob. He dropped his head, letting his husband console him as wave after wave of joy and fear and relief washed over him. Castiel had no idea what had caused such a maelstrom of emotion, but he leaned over the younger man, holding him.  
  
    Dean's tears only lasted a few minutes, for as soon as he let the emotion roll off of him, it resonated with the infant sleeping just feet away. Mary began to fuss and cry, woken by the sound and realization that her stomach was empty. Both men looked up and actual laughter escaped Dean's lips this time. He didn't have a thing to cry about - he had everything he ever wanted. He took a deep breath, letting Castiel brush the tears from his face before he got to his feet, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand as he crossed to the cradle.  
  
    "Hey little one," he spoke as he lifted his daughter into his arms. "Did your papa wake you? I'm sorry," he cuddled the baby to his chest, grinning at Castiel.  
  
    "I'll go make her bottle," Cas replied, rising to his feet. He moved first to Dean's side, tilting his head up to kiss the human, softly touching his cheek. "I'll be right back."  
  
    Dean paced the room until the Angel's return, and the two men returned to bed with their daughter. Cas brought his arms around the hunter, who cradled their baby in his arms as she ate. Dean closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of happiness soak in as Cas lay soft kisses on his ear and cheek. Yes, this was still like a beautiful dream, but now he knew why it was real, and what it had cost. And he was going to love every second of it. Every second.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    The next morning, the group gathered around the breakfast table and had introductions before Sam recounted the events of the previous night. Even though it was unanimous that this was a good thing, no one had any ideas on how to reintroduce either of the women back into the real world. Jess was noticeably sad but understanding when Bobby told her it was probably best if she didn't contact her friends or relatives until the could think of a plausible excuse for her return. And after breakfast, she was thrilled to hold the baby and become just as smitten as the rest.  
  
    "And she just appeared?" she asked Dean, looking up from the infant in her arms. "Just... appeared?"  
  
    Dean smirked, crossing his ankle over his knee where he sat beside her on the sofa.  
  
    "Not without the worst migraine I've ever had in my life," he replied. "Worse than the worst hangover. Worse than getting a stiletto to the balls."  
  
    "Dean!" Sam exclaimed, his hands covering his niece's ears. "Jeez,"  
  
    "Sorry," Dean said, noticing the identical looks of disapproval from his mother and Cas. "But yeah, she just... appeared."  
  
    "What a blessing," Jess breathed, looking back down into the baby's sweet face. "She has Castiel's eyes," she observed, leaning over and touching her nose against the infant's. "She's just perfect." Dean smiled proudly, but didn't comment.  
  
    "Jessica," Mrs. Winchester spoke, gaining the young woman's attention. "I laundered the clothes you had with you so you have something to wear when we go shopping. We can get you some more things while we're out."  
  
    "That's really sweet of you all," Jess began. "But I couldn't-"  
  
    "Don't say another word," Dean said, getting to his feet and heading for the kitchen. "We take care of family 'round her, you get that straight."  
  
    Sam beamed at his brother, moving in to take the seat he vacated on the sofa. Dean watched the from where he stood in the next room, a grin coming to his face and he tried not to tear up. It was then that he noticed Castiel watching him from the living room. Dean smiled, winking at the Angel to signal he was okay. A soft smile tugged at the older man's lips.  
  
    Later in the morning, Jess, Sam, and Mrs. Winchester drove to the local shopping center to buy some provisions and basic things Jess would need. Jess begged them into a small thrift store, explaining her love for all things vintage, and left happily with quite a collection of items for barely any money at all. The only personal items she ended up purchasing at the store were undergarments, a pair of tennis shoes, some toiletries, feminine products, and lip gloss.  
  
    The follow day was hard on everyone as they packed Bobby and Mrs. Winchester into the older hunter's car and said their goodbye's. Dean held onto his mother the longest, trying to imprint the feeling into his brain.  
  
    "I'll be back, baby," she assured him, pulling away and gently patting his cheek. "You'll see. We'll think of something."  
  
    "I know, mom," he replied, giving a shake of his head. "I'll miss you,"  
  
    Mrs. Winchester smiled, brushing back the bit of hair that hung down over his forehead.  
  
    "You need a haircut." she mused. "Go get one today. You have to look nice your first day of work."  
  
    "I will," he assured her. He turned to give Bobby a quick hug as well. "Drive safely."  
  
    Mary gave her younger son and his girlfriend one last embrace, before crossing to Castiel. She kissed her granddaughter who was snuggled in the Angel's arms.  
  
    "Take care of my boys, Cas," she said, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "And take care of yourself."  
  
    "I will," he told her, letting the woman hug him. "You have my word,"  
  
    "We'll want pictures!" Mary called out of the window as the car pulled from the driveway.  
  
    "Okay!" Dean called back, a grin on his face. "But the bathtub shots are a little inappropriate at my age!"  
  
    Her laughter was the last thing they heard, and the group stood on the lawn, watching as the vehicle carrying their mother and mentor (the closest thing they had to a proper father) out of site. With reluctance, they headed back into the house.  
  
    "Is anyone hungry?" Jess asked, looking around at the guys. "I can fix some lunch."  
  
    "May I help you?" Castiel asked, allowing Sam to take the baby from his arms. Jess smiled broadly at him and the two moved into the kitchen while Sam and Dean retired to the living room. The brothers settled on the couch, watching their significant others work together in the kitchen to prepare their afternoon meal. Sam turned to Dean, smiling at the grin on his brother's face.  
  
    "You love him," he whispered, earning a smirk from Dean.  
  
    "Bitch,"  
  
    " _Jer_ -k,"  
  
    They laughed, turning back to the kitchen. Dean sighed. He never, not in a million years, thought it would be like this. That he would be living in a nice - albeit small - house, with a spouse, with a baby, with his brother who was also happily coupled. It was paradise.  
  
    "Hey Dean," Sam said, pulling his brother's attention back to him. Sam seemed slightly nervous. Dean raised an eyebrow. "When you go to work on Monday," he began. "Could you... could you see if they'll still take me on?"  
  
    Dean sighed, shaking his head.  
  
    "Sure, but Sammy, you need to go back to school. You shouldn’t worry about a job,"  
  
    "Dean," Sam spoke, his voice lowering. "If I can get a good job, I don't need to go back to school - or I can go part time." he licked his lips nervously, pushing his hair out of his face. "I... I want to have a family of my own someday, and I'm going to need to save up for that."  
  
    Dean's mouth pulled tightly in what he hoped didn't look like a grimace, but the thought of his little Sammy being a dad made his heart physically hurt. But also caused him joy.  
  
    "I'll do it," he insisted.  
  
    He start date at work was rapidly approaching, so after lunch he made true on his word to his mother and went into the city for a haircut. His nerves were getting the better of him as the weekend approached. Everyone in the house seemed to be feeling his anxiety, and all were a little on edge. On Saturday morning, Sam was up before the sun and he met Castiel in the kitchen. The Angel was setting at the table with a cup of coffee.  
  
    "You're up early," Sam commented, pulling a banana from the basket on the counter.  
  
    "Didn't sleep," Cas replied with a shrug. "Didn't feel the need to... I don't mind sleep," he continued, taking a sip of the still steaming brew. "I just wish it was... consistent."  
  
    Sam gave him a sympathetic look, peeling the banana and taking a bite. He chewed thoughtfully a moment before speaking.  
  
    "You worried about Dean going to work?" he asked. Castiel looked up at him, his expression a mixture of shock and relief - as if he couldn't believe Sam knew what he was feeling, and was grateful for the chance to talk about it.  
  
    "A little," he admitted, "I've grown accustom, over these last several months, of being by Dean's side. To know that he will have to spend a majority of his day away from me and Mary... and then go off for training for weeks at a time..." he shook his head, sighing. "I am apprehensive. I'm not used to this..." he motioned toward his chest, his brow furrowing as he searched for a word to describe the feeling. Sam helped him out.  
  
    "Anxiety?"  
  
    Castiel seemed to deflate slightly.  
  
    "Yes. I am anxious."  
  
    Sam watched him a moment, concerned for his brother-in-law. Jumping in to a human life; having your grace stolen and restored, only to find out that it is damaged;  wondering which human needs and feelings would be turned on each day; and the upset to his daily routine were probably types of stressors that the Angel had never had to deal with before now. Stress had to truly feel different in a human capacity.  
  
    "Come run with me," Sam suggested, causing Cas to look curiously up at him.  
  
    "What?"  
  
    "Run, with me," Sam repeated. "It's great. It's peaceful and calming - it's relaxing."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed.  
  
    "Human's run when something chases them. How is that relaxing?"  
  
    Sam grimaced, rolling his eyes.  
  
    "Trust me, okay? Besides..." he shrugged. "It's something you and I can do together... like brothers."  
  
    Cas's expression of concern changed to one of awe.  
  
    "Really?"  
  
    "Yeah," Sam smiled. "Go throw on some shorts and grab your sneaker. I'll wait. I'll write a note for Dean."  
  
    With some hesitance, Castiel rose from his seat and left the room. Sam grabbed a notepad from the drawer and scribbled a quick note to his brother, pinning it to the coffee maker. Once Cas returned, he and Sam left the house and into the cool, pre-dawn air.  
  
    It was just at sunrise when Dean woke, pulling on a T-shirt and wrapping his baby girl in his arms to carry her down for breakfast. He met Jess on the landing and they entered the kitchen together.  
  
    "You seen Cas?" he asked, his brow furrowed as he looked around the obviously empty rooms. The blonde shook her head, pulling two mugs from the cupboard and taking them to the coffee pot.  
  
    "Oh," she remarked, picking up the note and reading it through "It looks like Sam took him running,"  
  
    "What?" Dean laughed, leaning over her shoulder and reading Sam's scrawl. "That's going to be a mess,"  
  
    Jessica giggled, pouring the coffee for her and her (practically) brother-in-law as he prepared the baby's bottle. They settled at the table together. Jess watched him quietly as he looked down at the infant in his arms.  
  
    "She's beautiful," she commented, earning a grin from the hunter. "Sam is totally in love."  
  
    "Since day one," he told her, looking back down at the baby. "Never hesitated. Never questioned. Even when I wasn't sure what the hell was going on." he gave a small smile. "First thing out of Sam's mouth was 'I'm an uncle!'..." he looked down at the baby, his smile softening. "And he loved her like she was his own."  
  
    Jessica smiled warmly at the thought. She took a sip of coffee, tilting her head slightly as she considered how much she was safe asking.  
  
    "So you didn't know..." she began, hesitantly. "... that you were... expecting?"  
  
    Dean grimaced. No one had ever said it like that. He never thought about him being the one to actually give birth to Mary. She just appeared.  
  
    "No," he replied, shaking his head. "Cas and I... well," he laughed a bit nervously. "We'd only been 'seeing' each other for a couple months, so... it was a bit of a surprise. Not to mention we're both dudes, so that was the one thing I thought we didn't have to worry about."  
  
    Jessica giggled again, covering her mouth with a fist.  
  
    "Sam's told me a bit about your... friendship," she told him, biting her lip as she grinned. "It's very romantic, how it all happened." Dean looked up at her as she spoke. "A warrior Angel, on a mission through hell to pull you back to earth. First he tried to treat you like you were just another soldier in his command, and then became you friend... and then he fell in love." her smile widened. "And I can tell he adores you."  
  
    Dean blushed, placing the bottle on the table and gently turning the baby over his shoulder.  
  
    "I'm pretty fond of him myself." he replied. "What about you and Sammy?"  
  
    Jessica leaned back in her chair, the most radiant smile yet warming her pretty face.  
  
    "We met at orientation," she explained. "He was rooming with a guy I went to high school with, Kyle, and we were introduced when we were waiting in line for our IDs. I couldn't believe how tall he was! And I teased him about playing basketball and he dropped his books on the sidewalk." Dean couldn't help but smile with her. "He was so cute. We ended up being in a chemistry class together, and he sat by himself in the back of the room, so I sat with him." her expression soured slightly and she grimaced. "Kyle told him that we had a 'thing'," she explained using her fingers to quote the word. "So, Sam was a little distant at first. But, the more we talked and got to know each other over that first semester..." she sighed. "I just... I couldn't stop thinking about him. So, I asked him out."      
  
    "Wow," Dean remarked, impressed with her confidence.  
  
    "He asked me about Kyle, and when I told him that there was absolutely _nothing_ there, he finally gave in." her smile returned. "The next year we rented a little place and..." she shrugged, but continued to smile. Dean nodded.  
  
    "I can tell he adores you," he said. Jessica blushed.  
  
    "Thanks,"  
  
    Dean gave her a 'don't mention it' sort of grin and the two sat in silence until the front door opened. They turned to the two men who came inside, both panting and sweaty. Dean raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "Did you get away?" he asked. "Or is it still behind you?"  
  
    Sam shook his head, grinning.  
  
    "Ha ha," he remarked, kicking off his shoes by the door and crossing the room to kiss Mary on the top of her head before continuing on to Jess. "You should try it sometime, thin out those arteries." he kissed the blonde on the mouth, and they smiled broadly at each other. "Good morning,"  
  
    "You want breakfast?" she asked. "I'll make omelets,"  
  
    "Sounds good," Sam agreed. "I'm just going to take a shower."  
  
    Dean looked up at his husband, who was also shedding his sneakers by the door. The Angel's hair was damp and curling, his T-shirt soaked around the chest and arms. Dean licked his lips, trying not to be too obvious that the sight was attractive before he spoke.  
  
    "So, what did you think?" he asked.  
  
    Cas took a deep breath, filling a glass with water and taking a large drink before answering.  
  
    "Well... it was... centering..." he replied. "It's hard to focus on anything else but trying to breathe, so I can see how it can be quite meditative." Dean laughed. "But, we got to see the sunrise as we ran past the lake and the park, and it was truly inspiring. Sam let me stop to pray near one of the gardens, and he showed me how to stretch so I wouldn't be sore later. Then we ran back."  
  
    "Sounds lovely," Dean agreed, shaking his head as he turned to Jessica.  
  
    "You're probably starving then," Jess told him. "I'll make you an omelet too."  
  
    Castiel hesitated a moment before reluctantly speaking.  
  
    "I'm not hungry, please, don't go through any trouble for me." He gave Dean a weak smile. "I'm going to get changed."  
  
    Dean waited only a few beats before he excused himself to get Mary dressed for the day. Castiel was in the shower when he reached their room, his sweaty clothes folded neatly on the bathroom floor. Dean placed Mary's sponge bathing mat in the sink, and undressing her. He waited until Cas shut the water off in the tub before turning it on in the sink, and began to wash the baby.  
  
    "You alright?" he asked the Angel casually as Castiel stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. Castiel tilted his head to the side.  
  
    "Yes. Why do you ask?"  
      
    Dean shrugged.  
  
    "Because Sam forced you to run around the city before the sun was even up," he replied. "If I ran to the end of the block I'd need a nap."  
  
    Castiel smiled softly, coming to stand by the sink.  
  
    "I'm fine. It was nice to spend time with Sam."  
  
    "Good," Dean replied. "You're already wet, so help me with this. I'm going to get her clothes."  
  
    Castiel took the washcloth from Dean's hands and continued to gently rub the soapy cloth over the baby's chubby limbs, carefully turning her in his arms to get her back. She cooed happily, letting her father rinse her off before he wrapped her in a towel and carried her to the bed. Dean took her back, drying her off before putting lotion on her soft baby skin and diapering her before she could pee on the bed. Cas sat to the side, watching them.  
  
    "Dean," he began quietly, watching his husband put a pale green onsie on her. "I... I think my powers are failing."  
  
    "Don't you worry about that Cas," Dean said, firmly. "That's not important."  
  
    "Dean," Cas broke in, watching the hunter lift the baby back into his arms. "It is important if... if we want to have another child."  
  
    "Cas," Dean said, interrupting him. "Hold that thought,"  
  
    Castiel sat quietly on the bed as Dean left the room with the baby, returning in minutes to set by his side.  
  
    "Look, Cas," he began, taking the angel's hand. "I know you're worried about us having more kids, but let me tell you what," Cas looked to the hunter, concern on his face. "My main concern is you and Mary. If Mary is all we ever have, you know that I'll be happy with that, with our family."  
  
    "But," Cas broke in, his face taking on that lost puppy look at always broke Dean's heart. "We... we talked about this and we said four."  
  
    "I said four if it happened, it was just a suggestion," Dean clarified. "And one is fine, if that's what we're given. Cas... Castiel," the use of the Angel's full name got his attention. "We are so lucky to have Mary. If she's the only child we ever have, I'll be happy with that."  
  
    Castiel frowned, tightening his grip on Dean's hands.  
  
    "I think we should remove the sigils," he said. "If my powers are truly failing, we shouldn't wait until they've truly expired. We may be able to have another child before then,"  
  
    "Cas," Den said softly, his heart aching. "Baby... we really need to talk about this," he reached out, brushing his fingertips across the Angel's cheek. He didn't have the heart to tell him that they probably couldn't afford two babies at a time, nor have the energy for them - especially if Cas didn't have his Angel powers to help.  
  
    "...we _are_ talking..." Cas told him. Dean sighed, turning where he sat and pulling his leg up on the bed.  
  
    "I'll tell you what," he began, giving Cas's hand a squeeze. "When I start my job, after I see what my paycheck is going to look like month to month, get the rest of the house settled, and then we'll... we'll try... we'll try to have a baby."  
  
    Castiel's serious expression softened slightly, but his eyes narrowed.  
  
    "I'm sorry, Dean," he said quietly. "I'm not trying to add to the pressure you are feeling over starting a new job and being the one to support us,"  
  
    "Hey," Dean insisted, "It's not pressure. I... I know this has to be hard on you, with your grace the way it is. But, I'm here for you, buddy. And yeah, it sucks to be a human, but baby - I love you as-is, and we're going to get through this together."  
  
    "The being human part is not so bad," Castiel admitted. "Inconvenient and troublesome, but tolerable." Dean stifled a laughed, dropping his head. Cas continued. "And I love you, Dean. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy with you."  
  
    "We'll be happy," Dean assured him, leaning over to kiss Castiel on the mouth. "But we'll be happy with one baby or four. We're going to be happy with what we get, okay?" Castiel was quiet a moment, so Dean prompted. "Okay?"  
  
    "Okay." he agreed. Dean smiled, rising and thumping the Angel supportively on the arm. He thought a moment, before leaning down to kiss him as well.  
  
    "I'm going to take a shower," he spoke, turning toward the dresser, but he grinned widely. "You should probably get dressed before you need to take another."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean texted Sam and within twenty minutes he was standing on the sidewalk out in front of the bureau building. He paced, unable to contain the nervous energy inside of himself as he waited for his brother. Ten minutes later, the sleek black body of the Impala rounded the corner, and it was like a beacon to him.  
>  "How'd it go?" Sam asked eagerly, before Dean could even settle in to the car.  
>  "Fine," he replied, placing his empty lunch bag on the seat between them. "Pretty boring stuff. But, check this out," he reached into his inside jacket pocket, pulling out a black leather wallet and flashing his badge. "Special Agent Winchester, FBI."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short, quick chapter, but I hope you like it. I won't get to update again until probably friday night. I want to thank everyone who has commented or left kudos or bookmarked my little story. You all have made me so happy! I hope my story can return a bit of that joy. :) ~pita

    The weekend seemed to pass in a blur, and Monday morning dawned bright and clear. Dean slept better than he expected, assuming that Cas's mojo worked to put him into a peaceful slumber for the night. When he woke, Castiel took care of the baby and Dean set to getting ready for his first day of work.   
  
    Dean took a deep breath and let it out steadily, looking at his reflection in the mirror. It felt odd, putting on a suit when he wasn't going out to play FBI - he was actually going to work as an FBI agent. Sighing, he turned back into the bedroom, putting on his tie and dress shoes, before heading down into the kitchen where everyone else was gathered. Sam beamed at him, and both Jess and Cas looked up from where they sat at the table.   
  
    "Look at you!" Sam exclaimed, passing his brother a cup of coffee and giving him a hearty clap on the shoulder. "Agent Winchester."  
  
    "Special Agent," Dean smirked. Even though his voice held his usual bravado, he felt slightly nauseas. He took his seat at the table, reaching over to where Cas held their daughter, gently touching her hair.   
  
    "What would you like to eat?" The Angel asked him. "We made pancakes."  
  
    "Sounds good," Dean agreed, watching as Jess took the baby from Castiel so he could make Dean's plate. "You don't have to do that..." he said, trying to stand back up. Castiel held out a hand.   
  
    "It's no trouble," Cas assured his husband, placing the plate in front of him. There was a bit of nervous energy in his tone as he spoke. "I hope you like them."  
  
    Dean noticed the slightly apprehensive note in the Angel's voice. He settled back in his seat, tucking a napkin in his collar to protect his shirt and tie.   
  
    "You make these, Cas?" He spoke to Castiel before taking the first bite.   
  
    The Angel nodded, looking over to the young blonde at his side.   
  
    "Jessica showed me how,” he admitted. “But, she cooked the bacon..."  
  
    Dean smirked, placing a forkful of pancake into his mouth. They were pretty good.  
  
    "I'sgood," he replied, winking at the Angel who was now smiling softly. Jessica patted Cas on the shoulder. It made Dean's stomach feel a little better to know that Cas was being taken care of and accepted by his family.   
  
    "How long do you think they will keep you today?" Sam asked, setting down next to his brother. Dean shrugged, swallowing another mouthful.   
  
    "Not sure," he replied. "I have an orientation first thing, then some paperwork and whatnot. I'm supposed to get processed for a badge after that...Then I have a briefing. Then back to the orientation to wrap up.” he shook his head, digging back in to the pancakes. “Not sure how long this will take."  
  
    "Wow," Sam sighed, shaking his head and leaning back in his chair. "Real FBI... after pretending for so long... I wonder how different it will be?"  
  
    Dean shrugged.  
  
    "I'm sure there will be a lot more rules," he smirked. "I'll just have to adjust." he looked to his watch. "You ready?"  
  
    Sam nodding, getting to his feet.   
  
    "Yeah,"  
  
    Because they only had the Impala, Dean insisted that Sam keep the car in case they needed to do anything during the day. They decided Sam would drive Dean to work in the morning and pick him up in the evening until they could secure another car.   
  
    The group moved from the kitchen to the entryway where Dean pulled on his suit jacket and Sam put on his shoes. Dean was slightly disgruntled when Sam tried to take a picture of him, but his younger brother insisting that their mother had requested it. Dean submitted, giving a humoring smile at the phone. After the pictures, Mary was once again in her father's arms and Dean leaned down to kiss her little face.   
  
    "I, uh, made you lunch," Castiel told him, handing the hunter an insulated bag and taking the baby in return. "It's just a sandwich and vegetables." he explained. "Oh - and a love note. Jessica suggested that.” he smiled. “I hope you like it."  
  
    Dean gave a spluttering laugh, blushing as he turned to the widely grinning younger couple.   
  
    "Uh, thanks Cas," he said, feeling the blush on his face. "I, um, I'm sure it's great. Thanks."  
  
    Castiel smiled wider, a proud, self-satisfied look on his face.   
  
    "Have a good day at work, Dean," he said warmly. Dean smiled, resignedly.   
  
    "Thanks," he repeated. "I'll see you tonight,"  
  
     _'Kiss him goodbye'_ Sam mouthed, giving an encouraging nod of his head before speaking. "I'll warm up the car,"  
  
    Dean watched his brother head out the door and Jess return to the kitchen before he turned back to the Angel.   
  
    "You, ah, you have a good day, too, okay?" he said, "You don't worry about me,"  
              
    "I will try," Castiel replied. Dean smiled again, a more natural smile this time, bringing a hand to the Angel's cheek and kissing him softly. He leaned in again, the second kiss deeper, and more intimate.   
  
    "I love you," Dean assured him, rubbing the Angel’s arm affectionately before pulling his hand away. "See you tonight,"  
  
    Sam was waiting in the car and pulled away from the house once Dean was buckled in at his side. There was a long moment of silence between them before the younger man spoke.   
  
    "You excited?" he asked.   
  
    Dean grimaced, shaking his head slowly.   
  
    "If this is some sort of set-up," he began, causing Sam to look sharply over at him. "If this is some ruse to lure me in...You take care of my family, okay Sam? Please."  
  
    "Dean, are you serious?" Sam asked, concern on his face. "You really think this might be some sort of elaborate charade to arrest you?"  
  
    "Plan for the worst, Sammy," Dean replied humorlessly.   
  
    "But, expect the best," Sam replied. "They could have just re-arrested you after the changelings were taken care of." he reminded him. "I think this is legit, Dean. I mean, I know it seems to good to be true - a lot of this does - but, I think maybe this time... things are going in our favor." he glanced over to his brother. "I mean... it's about time..."  
  
    Dean shrugged, resting back against the seat.  
  
    "I'm just saying," he replied. Sam nodded.   
  
    "I know." he said, supportively. "If anything happens, I'll take care of Mary and Cas, I promise."   
  
    "Good," Dean said, taking his phone from his pocket and checking the message that was just received. It was a good luck wish from Jimmy. Dean grinned, texting a thank you in return before pocketing the device. Another twenty minutes passed and Sam pulled the Impala up to the curb in front of the FBI building. Dean took a deep breath, turning to his brother. "I'll call you when I need a ride," he said.   
  
    "Have a good day," Sam replied, thumping him on the arm. Dean grabbed his lunch bag and the papers that were sent to him as part of his hiring process and proceeded into the building. Sam watched him go with a smile on his face. He was so happy for Dean. This was the best job - legitimate job - that any hunter could ask for. And Dean deserved it.   
  
    Dean tried to breath naturally, walking in to the federal building like he belonged there. The lobby was bare and the footfalls of his dress shoes echoed around the tall entrance hall as he approached the security check point. A uniformed guard was stationed at the front desk and he stood as Dean approached. The large Department of Justice Seal was situated on the wall behind the desk, next to a small office. Another uniformed guard sat just within.    
  
    “Uh, hi,” Dean greeting, giving the guard a nod. “I’m here for orientation.”  
  
    The guard gave him a blank expression, taking a clip board from the desktop and setting it on the counter.   
  
    “Sign in here.” he said. “I’ll need to see an ID.”  
  
    Dean pulled out his wallet, took out his drivers license and placed it on the counter before picking up the pen and signing in. He could see the other guard just inside the office pick up the phone and speak quietly into it. Dean took a deep breath, trying to appear calm as he waited for the guard to look over his ID.  
  
    The officer placed Dean’s license back on the counter, placing a small bin beside it.   
  
    “Please empty your pockets into this: keys, cell phone, wallet, any change,” he instructed. “You’ll need to remove your belt and your shoes, if they contain any metal, before you step through.” he indicated with his hand toward the archway beside the x-ray machine conveyer. “Your lunch bag can go through on its own.”  
  
    Dean did as he was asked, emptying his pockets, removing his belt, and placing the items in the small plastic tub. He placed his lunch and the tub on the conveyor before walking through the metal detector to the other side. The guard got the items as they exited the machine and handed them back to the hunter.   
  
    “Someone’s on their way down for you,” the guard said. The words made Dean’s stomach twist uncomfortably, but he forced a smile and nodded as he put his belt back on and gathered his belongings.   
  
    Just as he was finished being processed, he was approached by a man dressed similarly to himself.  
  
    "Dean Winchester?" the man asked. Dean nodded, taking the hand the man offered. "I'm Special Agent Connor. I'm here to escort you today." He motioned toward the inner office doors and Dean followed him in to the building. The interior of the office was a lot less stark, with neutral toned carpet and warm colored paint. Surprisingly it wasn’t filled with offices, but five foot tall cubicles with grey-fabric covered walls. "I hear you were a special recruit,” Connor spoke, giving Dean an appraising look. “your file's pretty limited, though."  
  
    "Well, I have a particular expertise," Dean replied. The agent raised an eyebrow.   
  
    "Oh? Did you study at a traditional university or military?"  
  
    Dean opened his mouth, but was saved from thinking up a lie when a voice stopped them both.   
  
    "Winchester,"  
  
    Dean turned, taking the hand that was offered him by a well dressed older agent, smiling to see him.   
  
    "Director Dreskal," Dean replied, smiling back. "It's good to see you, sir,"  
  
    "Please," Dreskal replied. "It's our honor to have you on board, Dean. I would love to have lunch to catch up - I see you brought yours today?"  
  
    Dean grinned nervously down at the insulated lunch bag.   
  
    "Uh, yes sir,"  
  
    "No problem," the director continued. "We can eat in the cafeteria. I'll pick you up at noon,"  
  
    "Yes sir," Dean repeated again, shaking the man's hand one more time. Special Agent Connor seemed impressed by the interaction, and his attitude toward Dean lightened as he lead him to a large conference room. Dean's stomach was still slightly queasy as he waited for the orientation to begin, still waiting for the catch in the day.   
      
    A pretty brunette woman in a skirt and blazer entered the room and Dean watched her walk to the front, glancing back to the door to see if there were any officers behind her. Much to his surprise, and relief, the women - who introduced herself as Agent Jones - started the orientation program, explaining work site policy and benefits. Dean stared down at all the different forms he had to fill out, panic once again renewing in him over the fact that he'd never filed a tax return in his entire life.   
  
    After two hours of orientation, Dean went to get his picture taken and assigned his shield, credentials, and building badge. He also had to fill out the other building security related forms, which took another 45 minutes of his day. When they left the security office, they were released for an hour and a half for lunch. The director met Dean in the hallway and the men went to the cafeteria together.   
  
    "How's your family doing?" Dean asked, as the men settled at a table in the crowded cafeteria.   
  
    "Really well," the other man replied, "The children are still a little shaken, they have the hardest time at night, but my wife is doing much better." he looked the hunter straight in the eye. "We owe it all to you, Dean," he said. Dean could see the emotion that tightened the other man's jaw as he spoke and it made him drop his gaze. He knew that feeling now, as a father. "I would never have believed what had been going on, and if you hadn't shown up..."  
  
    Dean shook his head, stopping the director from continuing.  
  
    "Don't waste a thought on that," he suggested. "I get how you're feeling, you know I got a little girl of my own."  
  
    The older man placed a napkin on his lap, and picked up his silverware.   
  
    "How is your family adjusting to California?" he asked. Dean gave a tilt of his head, opening up his lunch bag and taking out the sandwich inside.   
  
    "Pretty well," he replied. "We got a little place in Leighton. We've only been here about two weeks. I, uh, actually just got married last week."  
  
    "Congratulations," Dreskal told him. "How old is your little girl now? Oh - Do you have an extra napkin?"  
  
    Dean handed him the paper napkin, before answering.   
  
    "She just turned three months last Thursday," Dean replied, a proud grin on his face. "She's doing real well."  
  
    "Sleeping through the night yet?" the other man asked with a laugh. Dean gave a resigned shrug.   
  
    "Almost," he replied. "I think we're more trained to get up in the middle of the night to feed her than she is getting up because she's hungry."   
  
    The director nodded, unfolding his napkin. The action caused Dean's heart to still as he noticed a piece of paper caught inside the fold. He nearly choked on the food in his mouth, unable to say anything as he watched the other man unfold the note.   
  
    "Oh, this is probably important," Dreskal said, closing the note back up and handing it to Dean. Uneasily, Dean took the paper, his heart racing as to what Castiel would put in a 'love' note. Hesitantly Dean opened it, looking down with dread.  
  
    It was in Enochian.   
  
    A huff of laughter escaped him before he could help himself. Sweet, sweet Castiel. He'd have to kiss him for that later.  
  
    "Is that a note from the wife?" Dreskal asked him, motioning toward the script. "She Russian? Is that is Russian?"  
  
    "No sir," Dean replied, shaking his head as he tucked the folded note inside the pocket of his jacket. "He's not Russian," He could see the subtle shift in the other man, but he tried to continue as though he hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. "At least his birth certificate says he's from good ol' Pontiac, Illinois. We're both just midwesterners. He's, ah, studied biblical languages. It was in, ah, Enochian."  
  
    "I see," Dreskal replied, giving a nod of his head. "Well, my wife and I would love to have you boys over for dinner sometime soon. We can tell you about all the secrets native Californians already know."  
  
    "We'd like that," Dean agreed, feeling a wave of relief wash over him.   
  
    They continued some small talk for the rest of the meal, after which Dean returned to the orientation room where he and the other 4 new agents had briefings from the current section chiefs. At the end of the day, the director returned and all five new agents took their federal oath of office.   
  
    "Congratulation," the director told them, looking out at the new recruits. "You are now officially Special Agents representing the United States of America."  
  
    Dean let out a shaky breath, the moment feeling quite surreal. The brunette who had lead their earlier meeting returned, offering to help them complete their paperwork. She stopped at Dean's table, smiling at him.  
  
    "Anything I can help you with?" she asked. "Or would you like to take them home to finish?"  
  
    "No, I think I'm good," Dean told her, meticulously placing each form with the appropriate documents. "I'd like to get these turned in today. I'd like to get the medical insurance cards as soon as I can."  
  
    The woman picked up the forms, scanning them for completeness, taking a peek at the documents he had attached - his marriage certificate and Mary's birth certificate.   
  
    "A new husband and a new father," she commented. "Congratulations. I can see why you're eager to turn these in. Well, they look complete. Let me just go make copies for you and you'll be free to go."  
  
    Relieved, Dean texted Sam and within twenty minutes he was standing on the sidewalk out in front of the bureau building. He paced, unable to contain the nervous energy inside of himself as he waited for his brother. Ten minutes later, the sleek black body of the Impala rounded the corner, and it was like a beacon to him.   
  
    "How'd it go?" Sam asked eagerly, before Dean could even settle in to the car.   
  
    "Fine," he replied, placing his empty lunch bag on the seat between them. "Pretty boring stuff. But, check this out," he reached into his inside jacket pocket, pulling out a black leather wallet and flashing his badge. "Special Agent Winchester, FBI."  
  
    Sam howled with laughter, taking the badge and giving it the best look he could while still focusing on the road.   
  
    "That's crazy!"  
  
    Dean chuckled, taking it back and tucking it away.   
  
    "Yeah. Strange to say 'Winchester' when I want to say 'Neil' or 'Osborn' or 'Jagger'..." he looked over at his brother. "It will be cool to be Winchester and Winchester though. The Director said you're welcome aboard. Just need to email him your request." Sam grinned until Dean finished. "Although, the real FBI has certain grooming restrictions..."  
  
    "Grooming restrictions?" Sam repeated. "Like?"  
  
    Dean shrugged.   
  
    "Sideburns and hair have to be certain lengths,"  
  
    Sam grimaced,   
  
    "I guess that's not too bad," he mused. Dean had to agree. He'd love to see Sam with a decent haircut.   
  
    "So, how was your day?" he asked his little brother. "Mary and Cas do okay without me?"  
  
    Sam smiled fondly at the mention of the baby.   
  
    "Mary did fine," he replied. "We played with her a lot, she ate, she slept..." he gave his brother a sideways look. "It was Cas who was crawling the walls." Dean's brow creased as he turned to Sam. The younger man continued, a smile on his face. "He tried really hard to be patient. Jess showed him how to sort laundry and run the machines, they did a bit of cooking in the afternoon. But, Cas really just seemed... bored."  
  
    "Poor guy," Dean said, frowning. It never occurred to him that Castiel probably had more exciting, Angel things to do during the day before he was stuck at home with a baby.   
  
    "Not like that, Dean," Sam told him with a grin. "I think he just missed you,"  
  
    "That's really sweet and all Sam," Dean told him with a wry smirk. "But, I don't want Cas to be bored all day long. I kind of thought Mary would keep him occupied most of the day..."  
  
    "Well, with three of us..." Sam said, but didn't bother finishing the thought.   
  
    Dean was quiet a moment before he spoke again.   
  
    "Hey Sam," he asked, trying to sound casual. "How... how close together do you think is too close for siblings?"  
  
    Sam glanced over to his brother, concern on his face.  
  
    "Um... Maybe Cas can just take up painting or something," he said with a nervous laugh. Dean frowned.   
  
    "It's not like that Sammy," he said, irritated. "It's just..." he sighed. "Cas is scared that if he loses his Angel mojo, we lose our... our chance to have another baby some day. He, uh... he wanted to try now while we still have a shot."  
  
    "Wow..." Sam breathed, thinking about the implications of his brother's words. "You think... you think having two so close together might put a strain on your relationship? I mean, Dean, you guys just got together. And don't get me wrong, I love Mary and I'm glad we have her, but normally people get a chance to get to know each other a bit before having kids."  
  
    "I've know Cas for almost three years Sam," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I just... I don't think it will change anything between us. I just... ugh," he sighed, heavily. "I just can't look in his face and see how sad he looks at the idea of not having another kid."  
  
    "Wow," Sam repeated, shaking his head. "I didn't really see Cas as the big family type,"  
  
    Dean sighed again.  
  
    "I think that was probably my fault," he explained. Sam raised an eyebrow. "We talked about how big of a family we wanted, and we talked about, possibly, four..." He didn't expect to see the smile on his brother's face. "What?" he asked. Sam shook his head.   
  
    "Nothing... It's just... you and Cas... 'family planning'..." he chuckled, earning a curse from his brother. "Stop, I think it's cute that you and Cas have this real relationship, this grown-up marriage."  
      
    "As opposed to what?" Dean grumbled, scowling. Sam smiled.   
  
    "Playing house," he replied. Dean wasn't happy with the response.   
  
    "We are actually married, Sam. You know that, right?"     
  
    "I know, I know," Sam replied. "Anyway, to answer your question... I guess, if you get.. I mean, if you have another baby as soon as possible, that’d be what? Three months from now, give or take? Mary'd be seven, eight months old... That's a lot of work. You'd have two toddlers at the same time."  
  
    "You think that's too bad?" Dean asked. "I mean, what if Mary had been twins? We'd be in that same boat."  
  
    "It's something to think about," Sam told him, honestly. "You know Jess and I will do whatever we can. But, eventually I'll start work and she'll go to school... I just wouldn't feel right leaving Cas at home all day by himself with two little kids and nothing else to do."  
  
    "He's a big boy, Sammy," Dean replied. "He think he knows what he wants. I just want to make him happy. It's not like we don't both want more kids. Yeah, I thought they'd be spaced out a bit, but so what? Besides..." Sam turned to him, noticing the change in his tone. "Nothing's guaranteed..."  
  
    Sam's frowned, looking to his brother sympathetically. He supposed that they would do what they had to do. There were lots of situations where couples are told to have their children as quickly as possible, so this shouldn't be any different. He just wanted Cas and Dean to have something normal.  
  
    They pulled into the driveway, and Dean and Sam got out of the car. Jess opened the door, grinning widely before they reached the front step.   
  
    "Welcome back," she greeted, stepping aside to let them pass. Dean gave her a smile, grateful for how well she been with Castiel since the day she showed up.   
  
    "Thanks," he said, pulling off his jacket the moment he hit the entrance. "Where's Cas?"  
  
    "He went up to change the baby," she replied with a slight grin. "As soon as the car pulled in, she spit up all over him and herself. It was pretty gruesome - and a little funny."  
  
    Dean gave a short laugh, hanging his coat in the closet.   
  
    "I'll go see how that's going," he replied, heading for the stairs and up to his room. A smile spread across his face as he saw his Angel, now shirtless, gently redressing their daughter where she lay on their bed. "Hey babe," he spoke, drawing the Angel's attention. Castiel smiled, turning back down to the infant he was dressing.   
  
    "I'm glad to see you," he said, trying to work the new onsie over the babies head. "How was your day?"  
  
    "Long and hard," Dean remarked, strolling over to where his husband stood and slipping his arms around the older man's waist. He lay a soft kiss on Castiel's exposed shoulder. "Remind you of anything?" he smirked.   
  
    "Calculus?" Castiel guessed. He could feel Dean's slight deflation before the hunter chuckled. Castiel took a breath. "Ah, you were alluding to your genitalia."  
  
    "Right," Dean sighed, kissing him once again on the back of the neck before pulling away. "How was your day."  
  
    Castiel thought a moment, before turning to the younger man. Dean prepared himself for whatever odd innuendo Cas would think up, but the Angel simply smiled warmly at him.   
  
    "It was fine. But, I missed you." his smile became slightly resigned. "I will adjust. Once I learn what my routine should be for the day, I imagine that I will have enough to occupy my time."  
  
    "I'm sorry things aren't as-"  
  
    "Don't," Castiel interrupted him. "Please don't say that. I love being here. I love taking care of our home and our family. These day to day things... they are such blessings." He watched Dean a moment before speaking. "Welcome home, Dean,"  
  
    Dean smiled, stepping close to the Angel and kissing him.   
  
    "Good to be home," Dean replied, slipping his arm around the Angel and pulling him close. "So good," he kissed the other man again, his hand sliding down the small of his back and over his hip. Castiel smiled against the hunter's lips, and Dean moved on to kiss his chin and nuzzle the side of his throat. "god, you smell good," he murmured.  
  
    "It's the soap," Cas explained. "I had to wash up a bit after I took my shirt off,"  
  
    Dean chuckled, turning Castiel free and turning to pick up his baby from the bed.   
  
    "Did you puke on your daddy?" he asked the little girl, and the baby smiled, watching his face. He leaned down and placed many kisses on her face, smiling at the gurgling noises she made. When he looked over at Cas, the Angel was pulling a shirt out of the dresser and pulling it on. Dean raised an eyebrow. "Pity," he said, delighting in the older man's blush.   
  
    Neither had another chance to speak when Sam called from the ground floor.   
  
    "Dinner's ready!"  
  
    The group gathered around the table, enjoying the meal that Jessica had prepared. They questioned Dean about his day, so he spent most of the meal talking about the mundane day of an FBI agent. When the meal was over, Jessica stood and took the empty plates, and Castiel took the serving dishes that were still full.   
  
    "Don't go anywhere," Jessica said to Dean, a grin on her face. "We have desert," Dean gave an impressed look, a small part of him thinking he was going to like this husband and provider gig. Sam rose to help clear the table as well, but everyone insisted Dean stay put.   
  
    "What is for desert?" Dean asked, leaning his elbows on the table as he waited.   
  
    "Something special," Jess replied, turning her smiling face to the Angel. "Cas made it, all by himself." Castiel blushed, placing a cup of coffee in front of the hunter.       
  
    "I didn't really make it all by myself," he clarified. "Jessica helped me,"

    Jessica gave a small laugh.   
  
    "I only helped with the aesthetics.” she replied. “He made it himself, start to finish."  
  
    Dean grinned, setting back as the Angel placed a plate in front of him.   
  
    "I... I hope you like it," Castiel spoke with hesitation, watching Dean as he looked down at his plate.   
  
    "Pie," Dean spoke, turning the plate to look at the confection. "It looks good," Dean picked up his fork, cutting in to the slice and bringing it to his lips. He knew Castiel was watching him, and he hoped that it was not horrible. Dean placed the forkful in his mouth, and his eyes closed involuntarily. "Oh my god," he moaned, opening his eyes and using his fork to push back the crust to inspect what was inside. "What is in this? It's amazing,"  
  
    Castiel gave a relieved sigh, setting back in his chair.   
  
    "It has apples and peaches and chopped pecans."  
  
    "Good lord," Dean groaned again, taking another bite. "Where did you get the recipe?"  
  
    "Your mother sent it to me," Castiel replied. Jessica spoke up next.   
  
    "But he made it by himself." she told the hunter. "I just helped him do the fluting around the edges of the crust.” Castiel looked a little perturbed.   
  
    "Because that is sorcery," he explained. "A recipe, I can follow. It's science. I can't follow 'pinch and press', that... that doesn't make sense."  
  
    The other three laughed, enjoying the moment of the Angel's irritation.   
  
    "Well, you're great at science," Dean stated, taking another bite. "This is delicious. Thank you,"  
  
    Dean couldn't have asked for a better first day on a new job. And the next several days were just as amazing. The first Saturday after he started, Dean and his family were invited to the director's house for dinner. Mrs. Dreskal welcomed them with open arms, literally embracing Dean like a son.  
  
    "Dean," she said, "Welcome. We're honored to have you." she looked to the group behind him, smiling warmly. "And who do you have with you?"  
  
    Dean turned to them to make the introduction.  
  
    "Mrs. Dreskal, this is my brother Sam and his girlfriend Jessica," she shook their hands, and they exchanged pleasantries. Dean reached over and took Castiel's arm, pulling him closer. Castiel gave an uneasy smile, resting the baby carrier over his arm and reaching out to shake her hand. Dean swallowed. "This is my husband, Cas," he said, watching the older woman take Castiel's hand in both of hers. "And our daughter Mary,"  
  
    Mrs. Dreskal looked down at the baby in the carrier.   
  
    "She's beautiful," she told them. "It's very nice to meet you, Cas, Sam, Jessica. Please, come in."  
  
    Mr. Dreskal came in to meet them next, and introduced them to their two children. They kids were happy to see Dean, and Sam was happy to see how his brother interacted with the children - he was a natural. The group started conversation on safe areas - California, work, and the Dreskal's beautiful home - but after dinner when the children left for the playroom, the conversation inevitably turned to hunting.   
  
    "I really don't know what we would have done if not for you Dean," Mrs. Dreskal spoke, touching a tissue to her eyes. Dean shook his head.   
  
    "I really wish it was all selfless, ma'am," Dean told her. "But part of it was in hopes of being able to protect my own family. My brother and I were raised in the hunter's life - living out of motels, eating on the road, never having a real home - and I wasn't going to rest until I was sure my family didn't have that life."  
  
    "Regardless of what your motives were," she told him. "We have our babies back. And that's all that matters. Who would know that there are really monsters in this world?"  
  
    "The good thing is," Jessica told her. "That are guys like Dean and Sam. And not all the supernatural is bad - like Cas,"  
  
    The room became quiet and all eyes turned to the Angel. Cas looked between the director and his wife.   
  
    "I may be an exception to this statement," Castiel admitted. "Some of my brothers and sisters have been quite disappointing. So, I don't think Angel's themselves are an exception."  
  
    "Angel?" Mrs. Dreskal asked. Castiel nodded.   
  
    "Yes. I am an Angel of the Lord."  
  
    The statement opened the gateway to a myriad of questions, and Dean and Sam found themselves telling a compressed, however honest, version of their life story. Their hosts were stunned by the stories, but having had their own encounter first hand, didn't question any of the tale. Especially after Cas turned the pitcher of water into a nice, deep Merlot.   
  
    By sundown, the Director was promising to do whatever he could to help them out, and Sam was told that he would be receiving his offer within the next week - contingent on nothing but a haircut. The Winchesters left for home feeling slightly exhausted, but feeling rather positive about having some people to rely on.   
  
    Castiel was rocking the baby in his arms as he sat in the bed, watching Dean who was standing in front of the sink finishing washing up before bed.   
  
    "It's weird, you know?" Dean spoke, turning off the bathroom light and returning to the room. "My whole life, I've had just two or three people I felt I could trust, but... it's really nice to have people in your corner."  
  
    "I think you'd be surprised that there are more good people than bad people," Castiel told him, letting Dean lift the sleeping baby from his arms. Dean brushed a soft kiss across her forehead before settling her gently into her cradle.   
  
    "Yeah, well," Dean grumbled, turning on his bedside lamp before turning off the overhead light. "When you grow up not even able to count on your own dad, it's kind of hard to extend that trust to someone that's not blood."  
  
    Castiel shrugged.  
  
    "Family doesn't end with blood, as Bobby says."  
  
    Dean turned to the Angel, smiling.   
  
    "Yeah." he agreed, leaning across the bed and kissing the older man. Dean made an involuntary moan of pleasure from the kiss, bringing his hand up to Castiel's cheek and kissing him more deeply. "You tired?" he murmured, standing back up to pull back the sheet and comforter. Castiel smiled softly.  
  
    "Yes, I'm incredibly tired." it wasn't until the Angel said it, that Dean noticed how tired he looked.  
  
    "Did you sleep at all last night?" he asked, laying down beside his husband and pulling the other man down beside him. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    "I wasn't tired last night," he replied. "My vessel is incredibly inconsistent."  
  
    Dean ran his hand over Castiel's throat.  
  
    "It's not a vessel anymore babe, this body is yours."  
  
    Castiel smiled, his voice deep and even, and held a slight hint of humor.   
  
    "I thought this body was yours?"  
  
    Dean groaned, leaning in to press his lips to Castiel's.  
  
    "You're killing me, babe," he moaned, sliding his hand down Castiel's muscular torso.   
  
    "I'm not that tired, Dean," Castiel assured him. Dean shook his head, not wanting to give in when he knew that the Angel was truly exhausted. But until he could decide what he was going to do, he continued to softly kiss his husband. "Dean," Castiel whispered, "Are you going to make love to me?"  
  
    Dean felt his heart miss a beat and an swift fluttering feeling swooped in his stomach. Had Castiel asked if they were going to have sex, or if they were going to make love, Dean might have been able to talk him into sleep - but the way he phrased it, are you going to make love to me, Dean couldn't turn him down.   
  
    Dean resumed kissing the Angel, helping him out of his pajamas until they were both down to nothing but skin. Dean settled over Cas, looking down into his face. Just when he thought he couldn't love this man any more, he would realize he was wrong. Castiel was trying his best to provide in the household what Dean couldn't since he worked, and Dean loved coming home to him. He wanted Cas to be happy.   
  
    "Hey, baby," Dean spoke, as he stroked lubricant over his shaft, trying to warm it to body temperature before entering the Angel.   
  
    "Yes, Dean?" he replied, his breathing heavy and his hands sliding over Dean's bare hips, trying not to show his impatience.   
  
    Dean licked his lips, pressing his forehead to Castiel's.   
  
    "You think you got the mojo in you to get rid of those sigil's?"  
  
    He could hear Castiel's breathing pause, and the Angel replied with hesitance.   
  
    "... you said you wanted to wait a few months?"  
  
    "I changed my mind," he explained, "We got one life. Let's live it. It will be easier to put the sigil's back than to waste time."  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before he raised his fingertips to Dean's forehead. Dean could see the Angel's brows come together in concern before relaxing when the wave of energy spread out from where his fingertips connected. He touched his own forehead next, before dropping his hand to Dean's shoulder. He nodded, indicating that he believed the attempt was successful.   
  
    "Well," Dean spoke softly, leaning down to gently brush his lips over Castiel's. "Since I'm keeping you up... we might as well try to make a baby."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Been on any jobs lately?" John asked.  
> "Uh, no...I got a day job," Dean replied. "Something to pay the bills. Let's me come home to my family at night."  
> He was just about to share the good news about his job when John frowned, narrowing his eyes.  
> "You mean to tell me you can live knowing what is out there - what could very well prey on your famil -and you can choose to look the other way?" he asked with disbelief. "What? For some pretense of 'normalcy'-well, of 'safety'?" Dean lowered his eyes, but could feel his jaw clench at the dig at 'normalcy'. "Look son," John continued. "There are humans, and there are the supernatural. You were born to hunt, Dean. This..." he waved his hand vaguely. "This isn't going to keep you sane long."  
> Dean didn't respond. The tension in his throat and the dryness of his tongue not lending themselves to speech.  
> "I know what I'm doing, Dad," he spoke quietly.  
> The older man raised an eyebrow.  
> "Do you?" he asked. "Because I've been with you more years than without you, and I've had to pull your ass from the fire more times than your feathered friend. You make rash decisions Dean, and you just end up getting yourself and those around you in deeper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the wonky timeline warning. It's so relevant in this chapter. >_

    Two weeks later, Dean was helping Sam load a couple bags into the used Ford Taurus they had picked up as a spare vehicle. Dean said he had died a little inside buying the sensible car, but the price was right and he checked the mechanics himself to be sure it was safe.  
  
    "We'll be back by Wednesday," Sam told his brother. "I'm really sorry Cas will have those weekdays by himself."  
  
    "He'll be fine," Dean assured his brother. "It's just three days - two and a half really, if you think about it. Besides,” Dean shrugged. “he’s a big boy. I think it will be good for him to have some time to work out being by himself."  
  
    "Yeah," Sam sighed. "But, he won't even have a car."  
  
    "He can't drive," Dean replied with a grimace. "But, he can fly. That's the one thing that hasn't show any signs of changing - he still has his wings, he can fly if he needs to. Besides, Jess needs to see her family and you need to get back here in time to start your new job."  
  
    Sam grinned broadly, nodding. Dean gave his brother a thump on the back. He was diverted by the buzzing of his cell phone, and he pulled it from his pocket, taking a look at the caller ID before pressing the answer button.  
  
    "Mr. Novak," he greeted, unable to help the smile that came to his face. He and Jimmy had kept in touch, and Dean had to admit that Jimmy was almost like a second brother to him now. There was certainly nothing like Cas in him, but that was actually part of what made it so easy to befriend him.    
  
    "Special Agent Winchester," Jimmy answered, "I just heard the weirdest story on the news - it blipped past so fast I almost missed it - that the FBI rescued two women who were victims of a serial kidnapper who used arson to cover his tracks...what a miracle!"  
  
    "You don't say," Dean replied with a smile, "I heard something about that myself."  
  
    "That's awesome, Dean," Jimmy told him. "It looks like you and your family can finally focus on living. Just... just living."  
  
    Dean smirked, nodding in agreement.  
  
    "Yeah...” he sighed. “If I knew Cas was going to be alright."  
  
    Jimmy was quiet a moment before he spoke.  
  
    "Only getting one child is not the worst thing that can happen to a guy, Dean.” Jimmy said. “Claire was my one and only for twelve years. I couldn’t have been more blessed with a better child."  
  
    "Was?" Dean asked. He could hear the other man chuckle.  
  
    "I mean, _is_. We... well, not that we’re “officially” trying, but no luck yet. Still... trying isn't a chore. I'm not going to complain."  
  
    "I hear ya," Dean agreed, leaning against the car as Sam returned to the house. He balanced the phone against his shoulder as he crossed his arms over his chest. "How's the job hunt?"  
  
    Jimmy sighed, heavily.  
  
    "I got a call back for a sales job for a local Christian magazine.” he replied. “I'll be selling ad space, which I'm used to but... I don't know - I'm not cut out to be anything like an FBI agent, but I don't know if I'm satisfied going back to sales."  
  
    "What's keeping you from going back to school?" Dean asked. Jimmy shrugged, running a hand through his wavy hair.  
  
    "That I still have a mortgage and I don't want to have to ask my parents for money," he said. "We've really dug into our savings, but I'm not touching Claire's college fund. I'll work this job if I have to. Hell, I’d work three jobs before I do that."  
  
    "Well, I'll keep my ears out for you," Dean told him.  
  
    "Thank you," Jimmy replied. "Hey, if you ever get some time off from work, there is plenty of family fun to be had in Illinois - particularly while you only have one baby to travel with."  
  
    "We'll try to work it in," Dean assured him.  
  
    After several more moments of chatting, Dean hung up when Jessica, Sam, and Castiel, who was carrying the baby, came out onto the front lawn.  
      
    "You guys have everything you need?" Dean asked.  
  
    "Uh, yeah," Sam nodded, pushing his hair out of his face. "We'll only be on the road for five hours, so it's not a big trip."  
  
    "Call as soon as you get there," Dean instructed firmly, accepting his brother's hug.  
  
    "We will, definitely," Sam agreed. He turned to Castiel, leaning down to kiss the baby in his arms. "Take care of my brother, Cas," he said, hugging the Angel. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Without question," he agreed. Jess hugged him next, before embracing Dean as well.  
  
    “Have a good time,” Dean said, squeezing her tight before letting her go.  
  
    “We will,” she told him, smiling up into his face as she pulled away. “Thank you so much, Dean,”  
  
    Dean shook his head, sure he was blushing.  
  
    “Don’t mention it.” he replied. Jessica continued to smile, patting his cheek before she and Sam got into the car. Dean and Cas waved from the driveway until the car was out of sight. Dean pushed his hand down into his pockets, looking over at his husband.  
  
    "Looks like it's just the three of us," he said. Castiel looked back at him, nodding.  
  
    "It will be odd without Sam at home," the Angel commented, looking down at the baby in his arms. "Mary will miss him."  
  
    Dean grinned, wondering if a bit of that was Cas missing him.  
  
    "He'll be back," Dean assured him, "So... What do you want to do?"  
  
    Castiel considered the question.  
  
    "I'm not sure..."  
  
    Dean smiled, thumping the Angel on the back.  
  
    "I think it's time we go get the baby a bed," he announced, reaching down to tickle the baby’s neck. Castiel didn't look convinced that a bed - in an entirely different room - was the best thing for their four month old, and this was a debate they’d been having for the last two weeks. "Lemme just grab her stuff and lock the door." Dean said, turning back toward the house.  
  
    With a sigh, Castiel opened the back door to the Impala, placing the baby in the car seat which was now a permanent fixture in the classic muscle car. By the time she was secured in place, Dean had returned. He placed the diaper bag down in the floor board of the back seat, before settling in front with Cas. The men had a hard time holding a conversation, as both kept looking into the back seat to check on the infant.  
  
    "Why the hell do they make it backward facing?" Dean grumbled, checking his rearview mirror and seeing nothing but the top of the infant seat. "I can't see a damn thing."  
  
    Castiel leaned an arm back over the seat, touching the baby's hand and feeling her grasp at his fingers.  
  
    "She's okay," he observed, settling back into his seat. "...I should have sat back there with her."  
      
    "We're almost there," Dean sighed, taking the Angel's hand and holding it against his own thigh. Castiel gave a small smile, looking out the side window.  
  
    "I love you," he said, squinting out at the scenery passing by. He could feel Dean lift his hand and place a kiss on the back of it. He felt warm and happy, and he liked that human feeling.  
  
    At the store, they spent much longer than anticipated looking for a crib. Dean read each word on the boxes, using his phone to search the internet for news on the model's safety. Castiel walked along behind the hunter, holding the baby against his shoulder. After an hour, they picked a white wooden crib that would convert into a toddler bed later.  
  
    On impulse, Dean also purchased a rocking chair that matched the crib - hoping to himself that they would get plenty of use out of it. The sales girl advised that there were several other things they may want to consider - such as bedding, mattress pads, and rail bumpers, and they spent more time then they would have imagined picking out sheets.  
  
    On their way to the register, Dean and Cas strolled through the carpeted section of clothing racks. Dean watched the Angel, who held their daughter securely against his chest, as he looked at the baby garments. As they passed a display with tiny infant sleepers that were designed to look like animals, Castiel stopped and ran his fingers over a fuzzy, brown sleeper with a hood that looked like a Teddy bear. Dean smirked, running a hand over Cas’s hair and resting it on his neck, guiding him back toward the front of the store.  
  
    “It’s on my mind too, buddy,” he assured the Angel, giving his shoulder a squeeze. He leaned down and kissed the baby’s curly hair. Mary was so perfect, he wondered if asking for another was just tempting fate. But, he was tempted. With Cas, he wanted everything.  
  
    The two men left the store several hundred dollars lighter than when they entered, and more than a little tired. Since neither piece of furniture would fit in the Impala, they got a delivery time and headed back to their car. As Castiel buckled the baby back in her seat, Dean opened the second of his impulse items - a mirror that attached to the back window and allowed the baby to be viewed from his rearview. As he affixed the mirror to the glass, a strange surreal feeling swept over him; this car had seen so much dysfunction of their life on the road, of his lost childhood, of his adult indiscretions - and now, it was toting his family. As he shut the door, he slid his hand along the roof of the vehicle and murmured softly:  
  
    "Look at us now, baby..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After returning home, Dean fed the baby a bottle while Castiel unpackaged and started to launder the new baby bedding. Dean was reclining on the sofa and snuggling the baby when Castiel returned to the room with a basket of sheets to be folded. They watched the news in silence, enjoying the domesticity of it.  
  
    Sam phoned when the two started supper, and Dean could tell from the sound of his voice that there had already been a tearful reunion with the Moore's. Dean turned the phone on speaker, setting it on the counter so Castiel could hear as well.  
  
    "Her parents are so happy," Sam was telling them. "It's just... I mean..."  
  
    "We know, Sam," Dean assured him. "You don't worry about a thing. You just call when you feel like it, but make sure you give us the heads up when you head back home."  
  
    "I will, absolutely." Sam said. "I will. How are you two doing?"  
  
    "Dean made us buy Mary a crib," Castiel told the younger Winchester indignantly. "She'll be lonely."  
  
    Dean took a measured breath as he replied.  
  
    "The cradle is for up to six months or twenty pounds, and she's already pushing sixteen. Our baby is a little butterball."  
  
    Sam chuckled, sounding slightly like he had a head cold.  
  
    "You'll be right across the hall, Cas," he reassured his brother-in-law, to which Dean gave him an 'I told you so' type look. Castiel did not appear amused. "Well, I'll call you guys tomorrow," Sam finished.  
  
    "You call if you have time," Dean told him. "Don't worry about us."  
  
    The trio said their good nights, and Dean and Castiel sat down to dinner together. They talked about their plans for the next day, and Dean delighted in the warm apple crisp Cas had made him for desert. He lamented about the prospect of his expanding waistline with every bite, spinning a humorous tale of trying to fight the supernatural while resembling a parade float. He had to quit talking when Castiel began laughing, and the beautiful sight and sound of Cas’s laughter had Dean laughing as well. The Angel took Dean’s plate before he could finish, but Dean scooped the last bit hurriedly from it before it was out of arm’s reach.  
  
    He continued to chuckle, rising from his seat and helping his husband clear the table and clean up. When the leftovers were put away and the dishes in the dishwasher, Dean and Castiel sat beside each other on the couch while Castiel fed the baby her last bottle of the night. Dean had his arm around the Angel, watching his daughter fall asleep in Cas’s arms. Once satisfied that she was deeply sleeping, Cas took her up to put her to bed, returning with the baby monitor.  
  
    "She out?" Dean asked, patting the seat beside himself so the Angel would return. Castiel settled back at his side, leaning into the hunter's embrace.  
  
    "Yes," he replied. "She had an active day,"  
  
    Dean made a sound of confirmation, turning to the TV as he absently ran his fingers through the top of Castiel's wavy hair. They sat in silence for a moment before the younger man spoke.  
  
    "You know..." he began, earning the Angel's attention. "We have the whole house to ourselves..."  
  
    Castiel nodded, his eyes dropping to where the hunter's knee nudged against his own.  
  
    "It's like our honeymoon again," the Angel replied with a shy grin. Dean grinned back, sliding his hand down the back of Castiel's hair, cupping the base of his skull and pulling him in for a kiss. The kiss was tender and sweet, comforting in its familiarity. Dean pulled the Angel closer into his arms, turning so that he could bring as much of his body against Castiel's as he could. They were lost to each other for several long moments, before Castiel pulled away.  
  
    "What's the matter?" Dean asked, his hand moving on its own to touch the Angel's cheek.  
  
    "Do you ever think..." Cas began hesitantly. "That you may... tire of me? Of being with me - only me?"  
  
    Dean tilted his head to the side, sighing at the question. He sat back against the sofa, taking a deep breath.  
  
    "Do you know how much I love pie?" Dean asked him. The Angel's brows pinched together, and the corner of Dean's lips turned up at the sight.  
  
    "You... you love pie." Castiel told him. "Yes, I know."  
  
    Dean nodded.  
  
    "I've had a lot of pie in my life - a lot of pie," he continued. "A lot. But you know, my all time favorite pie?" he paused and waited for Castiel to shake his head. "Cherry. Cherry pie. It is the best thing I have ever eaten. And if I could never have any other pie but one, for the rest of my life, I'd be happy with cherry." Cas tilted his head, his eyes squinting slightly. Dean grinned. "You see, Cherry pie is the best of both 'pie' worlds. It's got these big chunks of cherry in it, but also this smooth, creamy sauce that's like pudding. And it's mellow and sweet," He narrowed his eyes at the Angel, "but it's also kind of tangy and sour. Hot or cold, plain or with ice cream, whipped cream - it's pretty freaking awesome. It will always be my favorite pie... you get what I'm saying?"  
  
    Castiel's eyes remained half closed, and he nodded slowly.  
  
    "... You want pie right now." he guessed. Dean gave a short huff of laughter, but shook his head.  
  
    "Yeah... But, what I'm saying is, I could never tire of cherry pie; because it's everything I love."  
  
    Cas's eyes squinted further closed, before opening and he nodded.  
  
    "But, you don't _have_ to limit yourself to just cherry pie," he commented. Dean shrugged.  
  
    "If I promised to commit myself to it I would, no problem. I can't tire of you, Cas," he explained. "Because... you're everything I love." Dean blushed hotly at the admission, but he was pleased with the touched look on his husband's face. He cleared his throat. "So come back over here and kiss me,"  
  
    Castiel quickly closed the distance between them, his lips meeting Dean's. The younger man's hands gripped the front of the Angel's shirt, pulling him closer and Dean moaned with satisfaction when Castiel wrapped his arms around his neck. Dean ran his hands up and down the muscular expanse of Castiel’s back, meeting the increasing intensity of the Angel’s advances. He moaned again, letting his head drop back against the sofa as Cas pressed kisses to his jaw and throat, tasting each inch of skin from chin to shoulder.  
  
    Dean gave a gasp that was a mixture of surprise and desire when Castiel dropped his hand, groping the hunter purposefully between the legs. Dean felt the heat of excitement burn up the back of his neck, and he spread his legs wider and lay back on the sofa as Castiel moved over him. Dean pulled Cas’s face back to his and their kissing became hard and desperate. The Angel settled against the younger man, driving his pelvis against Dean’s. Dean groaned at the contact, threading his hands into Castiel's hair, rocking back against the deliciously rough friction. Castiel continued to thrust against him, one hand gripping the back of the sofa to hold his weight, the other gripping the hunter's hip. He was overwhelmed with the taste of Dean's lips, the pressure in his groin, the thump of Dean's knees against his ribs.  
  
    "Dean," Castiel gasped, breaking from their kiss and looking down into his face. "This... I..."  
  
    Dean brought his hands to the Angel's face, his own breathing ragged with want.  
  
    " _I want you to fuck me_ ," Dean practically growled.  
  
    Without further word, Castiel's hands were on his belt and Dean began undoing the fastening of his own pants, their eyes never leaving the other's. Dean grinned.  
  
    There was a knock on the front door.  
  
    Both men stilled, turning to the offending interruption. They didn't move until the knock sounded again. Dean groaned, re-buttoning his pants as the Angel moved from over him.  
  
    "If this is a fucking religious nut...," Dean grumbled, straightening the collar on Cas's shirt while the older man re-buckled his belt. The two moved to the door, and Dean pulled it open. His breath caught in his throat and it took him several seconds to find his voice. "Dad,"  
  
    "Hey, son," John replied, smiling at his oldest child. He turned to the man behind him, his smile only faltering slightly. "Hello Castiel."  
  
    Dean swallowed the lump in his throat, stepping back and motioning his father inside.  
  
    "What are you doing here?" he asked. John smiled warmly, clapping the young hunter on the shoulder on his way past.  
  
    "Can't a man stop by to see his sons?" he asked.  "And his one and only grandchild?"  
  
    "Mary is sleeping," Castiel spoke plainly, his eyes narrowing involuntarily. “And Sam isn’t here...” Dean continued quickly, a slight pull of tension in his chest as he looked between his husband and father.  
  
    "Yeah, Sam and his girlfriend are up north for a couple days and we just put Mary down," he said, nodding as if that would help the statement. “We were just shutting things down for the night ourselves..."  
  
    "I can't even take a peek at her?" John asked, disappointment on his face. "It's been weeks since I saw her last. She's getting so big, and I'm missing it."  
  
    Dean could see Castiel's lips part and he spoke hurriedly once again.  
  
    "Yeah, you can take a look at her, but... Don't wake her, okay?" he said, motioning John toward the stairs.  
  
    Castiel turned to shut the door and Dean looked back at him, giving an apologetic grimace as he followed his father to the second floor. Once they hit the landing, Dean moved past the older man and lead him to the bedroom that he and Castiel shared. He hesitated before opening the door, not even turning an eye to the large bed dominating one side of the room, covered in the thick down comforter and 'reminds Cas of Heaven' pillows. He walked directly and quietly to the baby's cradle.  
  
    Mary was sleeping peacefully, her tiny scrunched fists near her chubby, rosy cheeks. Her mouth moved almost imperceptibly as she breathed, and Dean stared down at her a moment, totally forgetting the reason he was there. Her mouth was definitely Castiel's. It made him smile.  
  
    "Well, I'll give you one thing," John spoke, shocking Dean out of his internal reverie. "You made a pretty baby,"  
  
    Dean nodded, turning back to look down into the cradle.  
  
    “Yeah, we did,” he agreed, watching the little girl peacefully sleep. “Thanks, dad.”    
  
    "Dean,"  
  
    The two turned to Castiel, who had joined them in the room. The Angel took a measured breath, but Dean could see the tension in his throat.  
  
    "It’s... late..." he spoke, hesitantly.  
  
    "Oh, right," Dean replied. "Sorry b- Cas, sorry." he turned to John. "Sorry she wasn't awake. This really isn't the best time..."  
  
    "I guess I can see her tomorrow," John replied. "Mind having a drink with your old man? We can get out of Castiel's hair and let him get to bed," Dean's mouth worked for a moment, but nothing issued. John continued. "Unless you have a set bedtime..."  
  
    "It's not that," Dean laughed nervously, turning to the Angel with a pleading look in his eye. He could see Castiel's shoulders fall slightly with resignation. Dean turned back to his father. "Yeah, we can have a drink."  
  
    "Good night, Castiel," Mr. Winchester spoke, as he walked back out of the room. Castiel nodded, and he and Dean locked eyes for a moment before Dean followed his father back downstairs.  
  
    "I can tell it's past the Angel's bedtime," John commented, leaning against one of the kitchen chairs as he watched his son take two beers from the fridge. "He's a little grouchy."  
  
    "It's been a long day," Dean replied, pulling the caps off of the bottles before handing one to the older man. "So... what brings you to town?"  
  
    John took a long drink, turning and moving into the living room. Dean followed.  
  
    "Hadn't left town yet. Not since, you know," he shrugged, motioning to the pictures on the mantle. "The courthouse,"  
  
    "Oh," Dean remarked, his beer untouched as he watched his father scrutinize the pictures that Mary had framed. "Where have you been staying?"  
  
    "Here and there," John replied, giving a smile before taking another drink. "Trying to make some sense of things,"  
  
    Dean nodded, nervously palming the bottle in his hand but not venturing a sip. He tapped on the glass, trying to think of something to say. John broke the silence.  
  
    "Been on any jobs lately?" he asked. Dean involuntarily grimaced, pressing his lips together and shaking his head.  
  
    "Uh, no... I got a... I got a day job," he replied. "Something to pay the bills... let's me come home to my family at night. I think you’d-"  
  
    He was just about to share the good news about his job when John frowned, narrowing his eyes at his son. Dean swallowed with difficulty.  
  
    "You mean to tell me you can live knowing what is out there - what could very well prey on your family - and you can choose to look the other way?" he asked with disbelief. "What? For some pretense of 'normalcy' - well, of 'safety'?" Dean lowered his eyes, but could feel his jaw clench at the dig at 'normalcy'. "Look son," John continued. "There are humans, and there are the supernatural. You were born to hunt, Dean. You're a natural. It's in your blood. This..." he waved his hand vaguely. "This isn't going to keep you sane long. You're going to get antsy. You're going to get the urge. Best to face that now, while you can make a change." he sighed. "I know you got yourself in a spot of trouble - it happens. And I'm not saying the Angel won't try to take good care of your kid. But it's dangerous - you don't know what the other angels will want with you all. What demons will want with you. You have to fight back, Dean,"  
  
    Dean didn't respond. The tension in his throat and the dryness of his tongue not lending themselves to speech.  
  
    "I know what I'm doing, Dad," he spoke quietly, raising a hand and rubbing the back of his neck. The older man raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "Do you?" he asked. "Because I've been with you more years than without you, and I've had to pull your ass from the fire more times than your feathered friend. You make rash decisions Dean, and you just end up getting yourself and those around you in deeper.”  
  
    Dean hung his head, closing his eyes a moment.  
  
    "Have you taken any jobs lately?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.  
  
    "I've had a few leads, but nothing's panned out," John replied. Dean made a sound of understanding, crossing back into the kitchen to the sink and pouring the contents of his bottle down the drain.  
  
    "You have somewhere to go tonight?" Dean asked, hoping it didn't sound like a dismissal. His father shook his head.  
  
    "I think there's one or two motels close by that haven't seen Mr. Edmund Tyler's credit card." he paused a moment before asking. "Unless you don't mind if kick back here for the night. It'll give me chance to see the baby in the morning, maybe bum your washing machine a bit."  
  
    Dean hesitated, before turning away.  
  
    "I'll get some blankets..." he said. "You can bunk on the couch."  
  
    After setting his father up in the living room, and making his rounds of the windows and doors, Dean trudged upstairs to his room. He waited outside the door for a moment, his hand poised over the handle. He wondered if Cas had already fallen asleep. Even if awake, he probably no longer had the desire to continue what they were interrupted from earlier.  
  
    Gathering his strength, Dean opened the door and stepped inside. The Angel was already in his pajamas, settled beneath the comforter with his pillows at his back, reading a magazine. Castiel looked up at him. Dean tried to give a roguish grin.  
  
    "You waiting up for me?" he asked, closing the door behind himself. Castiel shook his head, turning one of the glossy pages.  
  
    "I think that moment's passed," he remarked. "I was reading one of the magazines that Jessica left for me."  
  
    "Huh," Dean remarked, a slight irritation rising in him as he pulled off his flannel overshirt. He could see Castiel looking at him from beneath his lashes.  
  
    "I... I didn't hear the door..." Cas began, casually. Dean shrugged, looking away from the other man and heading into the bathroom. He could hear the Angel quietly speak his name.  
  
    "My dad is crashing on our couch for the night," Dean replied, squeezing toothpaste out onto his toothbrush and bringing it to his mouth. His next words were muffled. "He hasn't been in a real place a while, so I kinda told him he could use our washing machine to get some things taken care of tomorrow." He looked into the bathroom mirror, watching Castiel's reaction to his words. The Angel merely lowered his gaze back to the magazine.  
  
    "Oh," he said softly. Dean's eyes rolled skyward and he rinsed his mouth, wiping it on a towel. He turned back to the bedroom, pulling off his shirt and stripping from his jeans before moving to the bed.  
  
    "Oh?" he asked, pulling back the comforter and setting on the bed. " _Oh_?"  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed and he turned to the hunter.  
  
    "Yes?"  
  
    Dean grimaced, his brow creasing as he looked to his Angel.  
  
    "Why're you mad?" he asked. Castiel closed the magazine and set it aside.  
  
    "I'm not mad, Dean," Cas told him. "I just..." he stopped, shaking his head.  
  
    "You're acting mad," Dean told him, leaning against the headboard and crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not like I invited him over."  
  
    "It's not like you asked him to leave," Cas pointed out. Dean scowled.  
  
    "What was I supposed to do, Cas?" he growled. "Tell him "Sorry, Dad. You came at a really bad time. My husband and I were just about to have rough sex on the sofa. You wanna come back never?"."  
  
    "Would you have really said ' _My husband_ '?" Castiel asked, pointedly.  
  
    Dean leaned away, turning to look at the Angel. Disbelief and shock were plain on his face. Castiel blushed, dropping his gaze.  
  
    "I'm sorry, Dean," he spoke softly, his discomfort apparent. "That was petty..."  
  
    "Is that what you think?" Dean asked, his eyes moving over Castiel's expression and posture. The Angel seemed more uncomfortable then ever.  
  
    "No, Dean," he spoke, his voice still considerably lower than before. "I know that this will take time for you. I can be patient,"  
  
    "You _are_ mad," Dean observed, frowning. Castiel shook his head, but he couldn't meet Dean's eyes.  
  
    "I'm not mad," he reiterated. "I'm... I'm hurt."  
  
    Dean wished he were angry.  
  
    "Cas," he said softly, reaching out and touching the Angel's face.  
  
    "It's alright, Dean," Cas told him, shaking his head and attempting to smile. "I understand the difficult relationship you have with your father. I understand the convention that keeps you from being completely comfortable with what we have," before Dean could interrupt, he continued. "I love you. I know that you love me. I can be content. I'm just happy to be with you." Every word the Angel spoke was like a knife in his heart, and Cas could see the pain in his husband's eyes. "Dean?..."  
  
    "I didn't mean to hurt you," Dean said quietly. “I never want to hurt you,” Castiel tilted his head to the side, his expression softening and he turned to face Dean.  
  
    "You didn't hurt me, Dean," he told him gently. Dean's brows knitted together at the statement and Castiel looked away. "Your father did." The admission made Dean's gut clench like an iron beartrap snapped inside himself. Cas shook his head. "He does every time he's present."  
  
    "Cas," Dean said, his voice rough. "I didn't know you felt that way."  
  
    Castiel shrugged, looking down at his hands.  
  
    "I accept that he is your father." he replied. "I accept that you love him. I accept that he may never accept me. He is kind to Mary though, but..." he glanced hesitantly up at Dean. "We should just go to sleep,"  
  
    "But what, Cas?" Dean insisted. It was as if he was horrified of the answer, but needed to know. Castiel sighed.  
  
    "I'm just... don't be angry when I say this," he added before continuing. "But, I'm just not sure how comfortable I am having a man in our daughter's life who not only couldn’t take care of his own children, but willfully chose _not to_. To force a helpless child to care for an infant. To deprive you of the true love and devotion of a parent. To be so absent and controlling and harmful, that everyone except you acknowledges it as the abuse it was," the Angel did seem to be getting angry now. Dean swallowed hard, shifting uncomfortably. "And then he has the nerve to try and criticize _your_ life choices? To try and make you feel like you are inadequate? I'm sorry Dean, but it pains me to see the way he treats you. The way he treats our love. The way he questions our intentions. And you..." he sighed again, sadly, the anger washing out of him and his shoulders rounded in defeat. "And you let him. But I accept that this is because it is ingrained in you not to question. Because you love him more than he deserves. And I love you for that," he looked up into his husband's eyes, and Dean could see the tears there. "Because you know how to love the unlovable. Because your grace was always so much brighter than mine." he took a deep breath and let it out in a cleansing exhale. "I can be patient, Dean. I don't want my feelings to cause you grief. If you want your father in our life, I will gladly accept that. But, I don't know how much patience I can have for his behavior toward you. Or his comments about your feelings for me. It... it gives the impression that our daughter was conceived out of something other than the most sincerest of love and devotion..." his eyes strayed to the cradle near the end of the bed. "I cannot abide that... And I think if for a moment you considered the totality of your father's behavior and actions, and tried to apply them to how you would treat our daughter,... you would see it for what it was"  
  
    Dean's eyes followed Castiel's and he looked at the cradle. Could he ever leave little Mary for days - weeks even - at a time, to care for an infant, or another child? To bear the responsibilities of parenthood? And when she couldn't, to -- before the thought even had time to complete, Dean shook his head.  
  
    No. Resolutely, no. He would protect his child with everything he had in him. Even if he lost Castiel, he would raise their child properly. He would never be John Winchester. He could see what Cas meant, but a part of him still had a hard time hating his father. Dean sighed.  
  
    "I'm sorry," he said quietly, slumping against the headboard. "I never thought about... how his comments would make you feel."  
  
    "I'm not so worried about how his comments will make me feel,” Castiel told him honestly. “but how they will make our children feel when they are old enough to understand."  
  
    Dean grimaced, turning to the man at his side. Castiel's expression still appeared to be one of irritation and disappointment. He didn't want Cas going to sleep feeling that things weren't okay.  
  
    "You mad at me?" he asked again. Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "No. I love you." he reached out, brushing his fingertips over the hunter's brow before leaning up to gently kiss his lips. "Let's go to sleep. It's been a long day."  
  
    Dean nodded, and he leaned over to turn out his bedside lamp as Cas extinguished the one on his side. They moved beneath the blankets to find a comfortable position, and Dean pressed in to Castiel's back, molding his body to the Angel's. They lay there in silence together, neither speaking nor moving. Dean leaned his head against Cas's shoulder, closing his eyes as he breathed in the scent of his Angel. He had wanted nothing more than for this man to be happy, and shouldn't that come before making his father satisfied with him? Seeing as John Winchester was never satisfied with who Dean was or what he could do, the question seemed almost laughable. Why should he care what John thought?  
  
    The hunter lifted his head, pressing a kiss to the bare skin just above the collar of Castiel's shirt. He heard the Angel inhale, and he shifted slightly. Dean kissed him again, just above the last, bringing a hand up to rest on the Angel's hip. He pressed another kiss to the back of the older man's neck, wondering if the next one would be followed by rejection.  
  
    It wasn't.  
  
    Castiel made a soft moan when Dean kissed the side of his throat, so the hunter slid his hand around the Angel's side, resting on his belly. When the action was not met with resistance, Dean ran his fingers down the other man's torso, slipping beneath the fabric of his shirt and stroking the taut muscles beneath Castiel's navel. He heard the Angel sigh.  
  
    “Cas,” Dean spoke softly, looking down at his husband. “Is... is this okay? You okay?”  
  
    Castiel slid his hand down Dean’s arm, closing his fingers over Dean’s hand and guiding it further down beneath the waistband of his pajamas. Dean moaned, closed his finger around the Angel's shaft and stroked him gently as he returned to pressing warm kisses to the Angel’s throat. Cas groaned, turning his face down against his pillow as the younger man continued the onslaught of kisses on his neck and shoulder, and the soft stroking beneath his pants.  
  
    Dean pulled his hand away, gently tugging the cotton fabric of Castiel's sleep pants down just enough to free his erection and reveal the round, muscular landscape of his ass. The Angel shuddered from the exposure, but he didn't pull away or try to halt Dean's exploration of his flesh. Dean leaned over Castiel, retrieving the lubricant from the nightstand and pushing the comforter away to pour the clear liquid directly on to his own shaft before tossing the bottle aside. He licked his lips, stroking the gel over his erection as his eyes roamed over Castiel's perfectly shaped rear. Dean let out a steady breath, taking himself in hand as he scooted closer to his Angel, tilting his hips and gliding the head of his erection over Castiel's opening, spreading the lubricant. Cas's muscles tensed at the contact, contracting at first, but relaxing as Dean made a slow, firm request for admittance.  
  
    Castiel groaned, tilting his pelvis back to accept Dean inside of him, his thighs trembling with a desire to relax, yet open to the man behind him. Dean wiped his hand on his T-shirt before dropping it to slide over Castiel's hip and dip further below, curling his fingers against the Angel's inner thigh so that he could rest his leg comfortably while the hunter thrust languidly into him. Cas moaned softly, pressing his palm into the mattress to brace his body against Dean's steady strokes. The fire between them smoldered slowly, and Dean continued to place sweetly soft kisses on Castiel's neck.  
  
    Without much warning, Dean pulled back, leaving Cas feeling empty and aching. The hunter sat up, stripping the garment completely from the Angel's legs, and he was relieved that Castiel, without further direction, turned onto his back, pulling his knees up and letting Dean move over him. Dean slid easily back inside, pulling a moan of satisfaction from his Angel.  
  
    "I love you, babe," Dean whispered, kissing the other man softly on the mouth. "I'm so sorry. I love you."  
  
    "It's okay, Dean," Cas assured him, wrapping his arms loosely around the hunters neck. "I love you, too. I've always loved you. I will always love you."  
  
    Each slow thrust of Dean's hips was punctuated with a soft grunt of pleasure from the Angel's lips, and the hunter swallowed each one with a kiss. When he could feel the uneasy shifting of his husband's body beneath him, he rolled his hips to drive the slick, swollen head of his shaft against the Angel's prostate. Cas grunted, squeezing his eyes closed and arching his neck, the tension in his throat and jaw visible. Dean dropped his lips to the newly exposed flesh, laving his tongue over the cool skin, finding it oddly easy to keep his own passion in check as he edged the Angel gently toward completion.  
  
    " _Dean_ ," Castiel grunted, a small whine escaping him as his hips twisted desperately for more contact inside.  " _Oh...mmm... Dean...._ "  
  
    The Angel gasped, bowing against the hunter as his orgasm washed over him in warm waves of pleasure. Dean grunted, increasing his effort, giving several long stroked before emptying his own release deep into Castiel.  
  
    Dean pulled out, but didn't move away from laying in in the Angel's embrace. He rested his head on Castiel's shoulder, letting the older man gently stroke his hair and down his neck. Dean felt a tingling warmth spread through him from where Cas's fingertips brushed his skin, and sticky wetness between them faded. He closed his eyes, letting Cas continue to soothe him with his hands.  
  
    "I love you, Dean," the Angel spoke quietly, brushing his lips over the hunter's hair. "Never doubt."  
  
    "I don't," Dean assured him, pulling reluctantly away. It was Castiel that spooned in behind Dean this time, holding the younger man securely in his arms. Dean tried not to let the conversation they had bother him, closing his eyes and resting in his husband's strong arms. Castiel felt guilty for his part in Dean’s emotional discomfort, and he continued to gently stroke the hunter’s hair, soothing him with grace. Soon Dean was asleep, and it was Castiel who lay awake in the darkness. He wondered if he should have mentioned anything to Dean, or should he have remained silent. John Winchester had only stopped by on a whim, and he would be gone soon. He probably wouldn't be that present in their lives - he wasn't when Dean was a child, this should be no different.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    When Dean awoke the next morning, he was alone in the center of the bed. Groggily, he pulled himself up, peering over at the empty cradle. With a groan, he dragged himself from bed, and unable to find his boxers on the floor, continued into the bathroom. Once he washed up, he pulled on a T-shirt and the jeans he wore yesterday and went downstairs.  
  
    As he approached the kitchen, he could hear the low thrum of talking and he paused in the hallway to listen.  
  
    "She's meeting all the milestones for a full human infant her age," Castiel was explaining, but his tone was neutral. John spoke next.  
  
    "So the doctors can’t see anything different with her?" he asked. "They aren't worried that she's only been raised on formula and may not have all the immunities she should?"  
  
    "She was vaccinated very early," Castiel replied calmly, and Dean could hear a pan being moved on the stove. "And we gave her special formula specifically for bottle fed newborns. She's very healthy."  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, readying himself to back Cas up. Cas was who was important - Cas's happiness; Cas's approval; Cas's comfort. Not John's. How would he walk into that kitchen and how would he act if Cas were a woman; if he were Dean’s wife? Or better yet, if they were alone? Because it didn’t matter that Cas wasn’t a woman. He loved him, regardless. Dean steeled his nerve, pushing himself to walk out into the living room and into the kitchen.  
  
    Mr. Winchester was setting at the table holding the baby in his arms. Castiel was standing at the stove, a spatula in his hand as he watched what was in the skillet. Dean forced a grin on his face.  
  
    "Morning," he greeted John, reaching down to smooth his hand over the baby's hair.  
  
    "About time," John smirked, looking up at his son. "This sedentary life is making you soft."  
  
    Dean kept the grin on his face, as he walked over to Castiel.  
  
    "I wouldn't say that, dad," he remarked. Once he reached the Angel, he slipped an arm around his waist and pressed a warm kiss to his cheek. "Morning, baby," he said, earning a startled look from the shorter man. "Why didn't you wake me?"  
  
    "You..." Castiel glanced quickly from his husband to his father-in-law, who looked almost comically stunned. "You looked too peaceful. I... wanted to let you sleep..."  
  
    "Well, I hope you slept as well as I did," Dean replied, his hand sliding across Castiel's back as he moved away. Dean poured himself a cup of coffee, setting down at the table. He held his hands out to the baby and John handed her over. It was easier to ignore the tight pressure of panic in his chest with his daughter in his arms. "Good morning, beautiful," he murmured to the infant, rubbing his nose against the baby's. He looked up at Castiel, who was still watching him with stunned surprise. "What's for breakfast, Cas?" Dean asked.  
  
    Castiel recovered quickly, moving the contents of the frying pan onto a platter.  
  
    "Pancakes and fruit," the Angel replied, setting the serving plate of pancakes on the table. "I can also scramble some eggs, if you like."  
  
    "Pancakes are fine," Dean told him, holding the baby in one arm as he watched Castiel place several pancakes on his plate with a serving of fresh sliced berries. "Thanks, babe," he said softly, pouring syrup over the food and starting to eat. There was a moment of tense silence.  
  
    "I appreciate you letting me take care of my laundry here, Castiel," John spoke between bites. Cas shook his head.  
  
    "It's no trouble." he said. "I'm glad we can help."  
  
    John gave a grin.  
  
    "I don't suppose you would change out the washer while I take a shower, huh?" he asked. Castiel opened his mouth, an awkward hesitation to his manner, but it was Dean who spoke.  
  
    "Cas isn't going to do your laundry, dad," he said, but he chuckled warmly as if the original request was made in jest. Castiel turned to Dean, and the hunter could see the spark of admiration in his eyes. It made a feeling of pride and strength swell inside of himself. "Your welcome to the guest bathroom, and you can watch TV is you like afterward. Cas and I have some things we got to get done. We're expecting a delivery this morning for the nursery."  
  
    "Hm," John commented, but he didn't remark further. They continued eating in silence, and once the meal was done, Dean turned Mary over to her grandfather so he could help Castiel rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher. He could feel his father watching him, and he wondered if he were being judged 'less than a man' for not letting Castiel tend to the domestic chores alone. "Well," John announced, standing and giving the baby back over to her father. "I'll take that shower now, if you don’t mind. See you in a bit."  
  
    Dean nodded, snuggling the baby who cooed happily being back in his arms. Castiel watched the older Winchester disappear from the room before turning to his husband.  
  
    "I can't tell you how much that gesture meant to me, Dean," Castiel told him, looking with such devotion into Dean's eyes. Dean leaned down, planting a kiss on Castiel's cheek.  
  
    "I can't tell you how much it meant to me that you didn't turn me away last night," he replied. Castiel tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing, but having an amused smile on his lips.  
  
    "Why would I do that?" he asked. Dean shrugged.  
  
    "I thought you were mad at me,” he explained. “Sometime, when people are mad, they... you know, withhold that kind of attention..."  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed and the amusement disappeared from his expression.  
  
    "Withholding affection?" he asked, horrified. "Why would anyone do that?"  
  
    Dean shrugged again, shaking his head.  
  
    "To get their way, I guess."  
  
    "I would think," Castiel spoke pensively, considering the concept. "If you were angry with someone you love, the show of affection would help you to remember why you love them - that you still love them."  
  
    "You're too sweet," Dean smiled, keeping the baby securely tucked in one arm as he slipped the other around the Angel, kissing him deeply. "Oh baby," he murmured, holding him closer and brushing his lips against Cas's ear. "Tonight, I'm going to make love to you so slow and hard, you're gonna be hoarse from calling my name,"  
  
    Castiel blushed, letting Dean nuzzle his throat, a happy, contented sigh escaping him.  
  
    "Hey, Dean. Do you -"  
  
    Both Dean and Castiel looked up. John was quiet a moment, but continued as if he hadn't interrupted them.  
  
    "Can I get a towel?"  
  
    Dean could feel the blush on his throat, but he could see it all over Castiel's face. He handed the baby over to his Angel.  
  
    "Yeah, lemme get you one..."  
  
    Not long after breakfast, the delivery truck arrived with the nursery furniture, and Dean and Castiel sat in the baby's room while Dean worked to put the crib together. The rocker came assembled, so Castiel sat there with the baby, taking photos on his cell phone as Dean was on his knees on the carpet trying to make heads or tales of pieces of wood for the baby's bed.  
  
    "Why are you taking pictures of me?" Dean grumbled, but his irritation was not sincere.  
  
    "Sam told me to," Castiel replied. "He said he wanted to see them,"  
  
    Dean shook his head, picking up the instruction and scrutinizing the next step before acting. John came up to watch them as Dean was completing the final tightening of the bolts and putting the mattress down.  
  
    "There!" he said proudly, turning to Cas as the Angel stood. Dean lifted the baby from his arms and lay her down gently in the crib. "How's that sweetheart?"  
  
    Castiel and Dean stood at the side of the crib, looking down at the baby as she kicked and cooed, looking back at her fathers.  
  
    "Is this one of those convertible type?" John asked, placing a hand on the rail and testing the sturdiness of the structure.  
  
    "Yep," Dean replied. "Just a couple adjustments and it changes to a toddler bed with a side rail, and then you can get rid of the rail when she gets a little bigger."  
  
    "It's nice," John commented, nodding. "Good job, son,"  
  
    Castiel looked up, watching the way Dean turned to his father. His eyes held obvious pleasure at the praise.  
  
    "Thanks, dad," he replied, and he felt Cas's hand rest lightly on the small of his back.  
  
    "I'm going to go check the dryer," John spoke, leaving the two to alone with their daughter. Castiel slipped his arm further around Dean's waist, placing his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean turned, pulling the Angel against his chest and holding him.  
  
    "She'll be fine in here, Cas," he murmured, brushing his lips over the other man's wavy hair. "Trust me,"  
  
    "She's just an infant, though," Castiel remarked, turning his head and looking down at his child. The baby kicked happily, batting her hands toward her father's as she cooed. Cas reached down and touched her hand.  
  
    "You're pretty soft, feather-head," Dean chuckled, pulling away as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. It was probably Sam. "Hello?"  
  
    "Is this Dean Winchester?"  
  
    Dean frowned, not recognizing the voice on the other end. He considered that it may be a work call. Castiel looked up at him, his arm still around the hunter.  
  
    "Yeah, this is Dean," he answered. The young man on the other end of the phone sighed.  
  
    "Thank god," he said, sounding slightly exasperated. "I tried calling John's cell phone, but I never go through. It kept saying it was out of service."  
  
    "John?" Dean echoed, his brow furrowing deeper. "Who is this?"  
  
    "My name's Adam. Adam Milligan," the young man replied. "I'm John's son."  
  
    Dean felt all of the air pushed from his lungs. He stood, stunned.  
  
    "John Winchester?" Dean repeated, dumbly. Castiel looked up into Dean's face. "John Winchester... is your father?"  
  
    The young man on the other end gave a bitter laugh.  
  
    "A man who shows up a couple times a year and takes me to a baseball game on my birthday is not enough to make him my father," Adam told him. "But, my mom loves him and he was somewhat good to her. And she's missing - she told me that if anything ever happened, to ask him to come."  
  
    Castiel stared up at Dean, concerned by the way his husband's face grew pale as he listened to the call.  
  
    "Dean?" he said softly, placing a hand on Dean's chest. The hunter's heart was beating quick and heavy beneath his ribs. "Dean? What is it? Is it Sam."  
  
    Dean's jaw clenched tightly and he pulled the phone from his ear.  
  
    "Stay here, Cas," he growled, moving away from the Angel and walking toward the door. Cas made a sound as if to question, but Dean stopped, holding up a hand to him. "Babe, please." His expression was one Cas knew not to disobey. "Just stay here. Don't... don't come downstairs." he swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I'll be back up."  
  
    Castiel leaned on the door frame, watching the young man stalk down the hall and taking the stairs to the first floor. There was silence for a moment, but Castiel's sensitive hearing could pick up the conversation that followed.  
  
    "Adam's on the phone," Dean spoke tightly, and Cas could hear John audibly stop breathing.  
  
    "Who?" he spoke.  
  
    "Adam." Dean bit out again. "Adam Milligan."  
  
    There was another moment of silence, before John continued.  
  
    "Adam?... What happened?... When was the last time you saw her..." Castiel's brow furrowed as he listened to another series of questions from the eldest Winchester to the voice on the other end of the phone. "Okay. Sit tight. We'll be there as soon as possible,"  
  
    Castiel's heart skipped at beat at the word "we'll", but apparently the sentiment was reflected by his spouse.  
  
    "What do you mean 'we'll'?" Dean demanded, his voice deep and gruff.  
  
    "The kid's mom is missing Dean," John replied, firmly. "It sounds paranormal. She's not the type of woman to take off with her boy at home,"  
  
    Cas could hear Dean's harsh laugh.  
  
    "I wonder what that's like,"  
  
    There was only the slightest pause before John asked.  
  
    "What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
    "Are we really not going to talk about how _your son_ just called my phone and asked to speak with you?"  
  
    "You don't understand Dean-"  
  
    But Dean did understand, apparently, as he continued to rail at the older man without stopping. Detailing how he struggled to take care of Sam in the long absences of their father's, of trying to put food on the table and stealing so his little brother would have food in his belly, and how he often went without so that the things he did manage to steel stretched the days and weeks. John barely had a chance to get a word in, for every time he raised his voice, Dean would rail louder. The only time John's voice could be heard above his son's was when he shouted:  
  
    "I gave up my life for yours!"  
  
    There was a deadly silence that followed those words, and Cas leaned against the doorway, his fingers gripping tightly to the frame. He could hear Dean's sharp intake of breath.  
  
    "That a parent's fucking _job_ ," he spat. "But you didn't give up your life for mine. Let me tell you what you did do. You ran like a coward so that, once again, I would have to take care of what you were too chicken shit to face. The prospect of killing Sammy if he turned. You left that to me. Again, you left Sammy's life or death in my hands. And now, after all that, you expect me to leave my husband and daughter - the people I love - at home and follow you across the country to take care of _another_ child of yours?" he took another breath, and his voice was seething as he finished. "If you want to sway me with your sacrifices, I don't want your life. I want something actually worth a damn!"  
  
    "Dean,"  John attempted, weakly.  
  
    "Get the fuck out of my house," Dean snapped. "You've never been family to me... no matter how much I wanted it.... so just go."  
  
    There was quiet once again, before Cas could hear heavy footfalls across the wood floor and the front door opened and closed. Castiel moved from the nursery, nervously walking around the small section of floor in the hall. He wanted to go to Dean, see how he was doing, but he was told to stay put. Compromising, he sat down on the top step of the staircase and waited. He could see Dean's shadow cast into the living room, and he was pacing incessantly. After a few long, tense moments, he crossed from the kitchen into the living room and caught sight of Castiel sitting at the top of the stairs. The hunter's body was rigid with stress, but when he looked up at the Angel, his shoulders relaxed.  
  
    "What are you doing, Cas?" he asked, wearily. Castiel looked evenly back at him.  
  
    "You told me not to come down stairs... but I wanted to be close to you."  
  
    Dean's shoulders fell, and he trudged up the stairs, collapsing in front of his Angel and slipping his arms around Castiel's waist. He sighed, feeling the Angel enfold him in his arms and holding him securely. Cas leaned down, kissing Dean's head. They were quiet a moment, before Dean spoke, his voice muffled against the Angel's stomach.  
  
    "We still have to go grocery shopping."  
  
    Cas's brow furrowed and he tilted his head as he looked down at Dean.  
  
    "...what?" he asked. Dean looked up, and his eyes were red, but dry.  
  
    "Food, babe," he said, a small smile coming to his lips. Cas stared back at him.  
  
    "Yes, I know, but... are you okay?"  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, sighing as he leaned into Cas's legs.  
  
    "I'm mad," he admitted, shaking his head. "I'm pissed as hell. I don't know what to think. But, I do know this," his smile widened, but Castiel could still see the maelstrom of emotion in his eyes. "I'm going to put my baby in a carrier, I'm going to get in the car with my family, and we are going to go shopping for groceries - like a real family; like real, normal family."  
  
    Castiel leaned down, accepting the kiss that Dean leaned up for.  
  
    "And then," Castiel murmured, pressing his forehead against Dean's. "You said something about... making love..."  
      
    Dean chuckled, his lips meeting Castiel's once again.  
  
    "That's reminds me of something else we need to get at the store," he said with a wink,  standing and pulling the older man to his feet. "Come on, Angel. We better get there and back before the baby falls asleep."  
  
    "She'll fall asleep in the car anyway," Castiel commented, but he caught Dean's hand before he could walk away. Dean turned to his husband, raising an eyebrow in question. "Are you alright?"  
  
    Dean sighed.  
  
    "No, Cas, I'm not," he admitted, letting the Angel pull him into a tight embrace. "But I will be. My whole life has been leading up to that... I need to put that behind me now. This is what's important. This. You and me. Our baby."  
  
    Cas nodded, knowing he shouldn't say much more, that Dean was used to keeping feelings bottled up inside - and what he had just admitted was probably more than he wanted to share at the moment. Castiel would still be there to listen, little by little, when the hunter wanted to decompress.  
  
    "Do we have a list for the store?" he asked the hunter. Dean smirked.  
  
    "What are you? Sam?" he asked. "We'll know what we need when we see it."  
  
    He pulled away from the Angel, moving on into the nursery, laughing at Castiel's next words.  
  
    "But... Sam says we need a list..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Castiel watched, with mingling fascination and just a bit of jealousy, at the attention that Dean garnered holding their baby daughter in his arms. Almost every women they passed stopped them, cooing over how adorable the child was. But Cas let Dean enjoy the attention, happy to see a smile on the younger man's face. Since Dean was preoccupied, he allowed Castiel to steer them through the store, taking the route that he had learned with Sam - non perishables, fresh produce, frozen, proteins, then dairy. As they hit the end of the dry grocery isles, Dean buckled the baby back in the carrier.  
  
    "I'm heading to the pharmacy," he said, giving a wink and a click of his tongue. "We need anything?"  
  
    "Sam told me not to buy personal care items at the grocery store because they are more expensive," Castiel told him. Dean's eyes rolled back into his head slightly.  
  
    "Oh my god, Cas," he groaned. "I get it. Anything critical?"  
  
    Castiel considered the question, his mind making a quick inventory of what they had at home.  
  
    "... Soap," he replied. "For the shower."  
  
    "Gotcha," Dean replied. "I'll meet you in the salad isles,"  
  
    He felt a surge of joy by the smile that his words pulled from Cas, and he turned down and into the pharmaceutical isles. He browsed the medicine isle first, grabbing a bottle of ibuprofen before moving over to baby care for Q-tips. The soap isle was next, and he spent longer than he normally would, checking the scent to find the one he'd like the most when he was nuzzled against Castiel's throat. He select a new razor before taking the next isle to the odd mixture of feminine hygiene and family planning. The store had four times as many varieties of lubricants as the last store he'd purchased it in. He eyed the colorful bottles, picking a few up and checking the labels. He was intrigued by a bottle proclaiming "intense warming sensation to increase your partner's pleasure". For good measure, he bought a second that was the same brand and type as the happily nearly empty one at home.  
  
     Making a stop at the pharmacy counter to buy his items, he then met back up with the Angel in the produce section. He tied the bag up, setting it in the basket. Castiel raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment that the bag obviously contained more than lube and soap.  
  
    Shopping completed, they loaded the Impala and headed back for their town home. First putting the baby in the swing once they arrived home, Cas and Dean put their purchases away in relative silence. As Castiel was putting the last items in the cupboard, Dean slipped his arms around his husband, resting his head on the Angel's back. Cas closed his eyes, holding Dean's arms around him.  
  
    "Love you," Dean murmured, before pulling away. Castiel smiled, sighing, taking a moment to silently whisper a prayer of gratitude for the other man.  
  
    Dean was surprised that, by the end of the day, the altercation he had with John diminished with each tiny, domestic moment he had - bathing the baby, having lunch with Cas, loading the dishwasher together, cuddling on the couch for a lazy afternoon. He tried not to think of the horror he felt over discovering that his father had another child - while he and Sam were only children themselves - while he left them to fend for themselves. The betrayal didn't sting as much as he thought it would, he supposed since he had many years to get used to it. Or maybe it was because he had so much love and protection from his Angel, that he felt safe from the pain.  
  
    Or maybe he just no longer cared what his father thought.  
  
    After supper, Dean and Cas put the baby to bed, and returned to the living room to settle together on couch to watch the news. Since the evening was oddly chilly, the hunter started a fire in the fireplace, and it crackled warmly in the background. Dean let Cas hold him, and he appreciated the ability to rely on someone else's strength. Another perk of being with a man, if not just being with an Angel.  
  
    Dean rested his cheek against Castiel's chest, closing his eyes and sighing as the Angel began to stroke his fingers over his hair and down his neck. Castiel picked up the remote, turning off the news and pulling his husband closer. The firelight cast a warm glow into the dark room, and Dean looked up at the Angel. Without much pretence, he leaned up, kissing Castiel softly. Cas pulled Dean closer, his hands sliding up the younger man's back and back down. Dean turned, climbing up into Castiel's lap, never breaking from their kiss. They kissed each other tenderly, enjoying the sensual exchange. Dean moaned into the Angel's mouth as strong hands slid over his hips and closed over his ass.  
  
    Dean chuckled at Castiel's bold move, giving an appreciative nip at the Angel's lower lip, pressing another kiss to Cas's chin before he continued down his throat. Castiel sighed, his hands roaming up Dean's back as the hunter descended, lowering himself to the floor between Cas's spread knees. He watched Dean lick his lips as the younger man worked the fastenings of his jeans. Castiel groaned, closing his eyes as he felt Dean's warm lips brush the skin low on his abdomen. A heavy breath escaped him, and he lifted his hips as Dean pulled the denim down his legs.  
  
    Dean hummed against the Angel's bare skin, laying soft kisses on his thighs, dragging his tongue up the crease of his hip. Castiel's hand was stroking his hair and down over his shoulder, and Dean slid his palms over Cas's legs and across his abdomen, dipping his fingers down against the Angel's inner thigh. When he heard Castiel whisper his name, he smiled, lifting his head and blowing a gently breath across the other man's erection. He was rewarded with a moan, so he rewarded Castiel on his own, opening his mouth and drawing his tongue over the swollen head of his shaft.  
  
    Castiel gasped, groaning heavily as he dropped his head back against the sofa. Dean's fingers were now closed around his erection, the hunter's lips on the head, licking and sucking, before taking more into his mouth. The earthy sweetness of Cas's essence made him swallow slowly, savoring the taste on his tongue before closing his mouth around him once again. It brought back the memory of the first time he had done this; cramped in the Impala, frantic struggling just to get close to the Angel. To feel him inside. He wanted that now, but he also wanted to bring Cas to completion... maybe next time. He wanted to do this again. And again.  
  
    Cas lifted his head, tilting his hips toward his husband's attention. He was breathing heavily, but it was Dean who was moaning as he worked Castiel's shaft in and out of his mouth. Once the Angel's shaft was thick and hard, Dean pushed himself to his feet and pulled his shirt over his head, walking to the singular, tied grocery bag sitting by the base of the stairs, still waiting to be taken up. Castiel sat forward as Dean returned, reaching out to undo the hunter's pants and tugging the fabric down Dean's muscular legs. Dean took a moment to run his fingers through the Angel's hair as Castiel kissed across his abdomen and up his chest. Dean pushed Cas back, climbing over him and straddling his lap. He snapped open the new bottle of lube, pouring a small measure across his fingertips before dropping his hand between them, spreading the slick moisture across his opening. Castiel's hands smoothed over Dean's back and sides, his eyes watching Dean's face intently as the younger man took hold of his erection, centering it beneath his body. Dean grunted, shifting his hips and opening his thighs as he pushed down on the firm length. Castiel pushed back up against the hunter, enjoying the sensation of moist heat that engulfed his shaft.  
  
    Dean groaned, settling flush against Castiel's bare thighs. He slipped his arm's around the Angel's neck, kissing him deeply as he began to rock his hips. Cas moved back against him, limited in his movement, but earning small, grunting moans from the man above him. From his position, Dean was quickly able to maneuver the tip of Cas's erection to strike his prostate on every thrust, but he underestimated how overwhelming the sensation was when he was directing the action himself. He felt a small feeling of guilt for the time he asked Cas to take control of his own pleasure in a similar position, inadvertently frustrating his Angel. Dean tried to think back to every woman he'd ever had had ride him, ever porn he'd ever watched, as he began to move with greater purpose against Cas.  
  
    Castiel brought his lips to Dean's throat, kissing along the expanse of his neck and collarbone as he rocked back up into the warmth of his body.  
  
    "Ah, baby," Dean gasped, wrapping his arms tighter around Cas's neck, his finger's sinking into the Angel's soft, dark hair. The Angel's response was a groan, and pressed his forehead to Dean's shoulder. "Baby, baby," Dean moaned again, moving more insistently. "Cas," he spoke breathlessly, yet hesitantly, his hand's dropping to grip the Angel's shoulders. "Could you-"  
  
    "Yes," Castiel gasped, not needing to know what the hunter was going to say, for he knew he was going to ask for what they were interrupted from last night. Dean closed his eyes, letting the Angel wrap his arms around him and turn their position on the sofa. Dean grunted as his back hit the cushion and the action caused Cas to thrust sharply into him. Dean cried out, but the pleasure that bloomed inside of him was worth the initial jolt of pain.  
  
    Castiel braced his hand on the couch above Dean's head, rolling his hips and driving firmly into his husband.  
  
    " _Fuck - yeah_ ," Dean hissed, dropping his head back against the sofa, his hands sliding down Castiel's muscular frame and gripping his hips. Castiel's brow furrowed and he watched Dean's expression for indication of his pleasure, driving forcefully into the tight warmth around his shaft. Dean was biting his lip again, grunting with each thrust. Castiel's brought his lips to Dean's, coaxing the hunter's mouth into action. Dean couldn't concentrate on Cas's lips for long, no matter how pleasant, as Castiel was hitting the mark with the intensity of his thrusts. " _Uhh, baby_... don't stop," Dean moaned.  
  
    Castiel kept his weight resting on the hand near Dean's head, and he used the other to caress and knead the skin of his husband's shoulder and chest. Once Dean began to breathe harder, Castiel increased his pace, shortening his withdrawal before pushing back into him again. Dean gasped, his expression pinched as the immediacy of his climax loomed.  
  
    " _Cas_ ," he hissed, his hips twisting helplessly as the tension in his groin mounted. "Cas.... _Cas_!"  
  
    With a shout, Dean proclaimed his release and he felt the rush of wet warmth spill onto his stomach. He shuddered, the pulsing waves of pleasure rolling through him sustained by Castiel's continued movement inside of him. The Angel no longer moved with such intensity, slowing his pace and lengthening his withdrawals. The next time he sank deep into the hunter, his body tensed and Dean could feel the rush of warmth that belied his end. A shaky breath escaped the Angel and he relaxed against Dean's spent body.  
  
    They were quiet a moment, lazily kissing each other. Castiel sighed, leaning up to look down into Dean's flushed face.  
  
    "You work in the morning," he reminded the hunter. Dean closed his eyes, but he grinned.  
  
    "Damn normal life," she said, wrapping his arms around the Angel, his hand drawing slow circles in the dip of his lower back. "I guess I'll just get used to it."  
  
    Castiel gave a small smile, pushing himself up and helping Dean to his feet.  
  
    "Ah, the unromantic afterthought of picking up the clothes," Dean sighed, picking up his pants from the floor. "This is what porn doesn't tell you."  
  
    Castiel shook his head, gathering up the rest of their things. Dean plucked his shirt from the floor before Cas could take it, wiping it across his belly.  
  
    "Come on," Dean said, smacking the Angel on the ass on his way past. "Up to bed. I'm going to take care of the fire."  
  
    Castiel blushed hotly, going up to the bedroom and cleaning himself up before donning a pair of pajamas. He crossed the hall to check on the baby, happy to see she was sleeping peacefully. When he returned to the bedroom, Dean was in the bathroom getting ready for bed himself. The two settled into the bed together, and Dean pulled the Angel into his arms.  
  
    "I can't remember a time when I didn't love you," Dean murmured, nuzzling the other man's ear. Castiel smiled, snuggling down into the hunter's embrace.  
  
    "Neither can I," the Angel assured him.  
  
    Dean brushed his lips across Cas' temple, settling comfortably into the thick down mattress pad. He really couldn't remember life before this man, before this feeling. Well, he _could_ remember, but he couldn't recall why he ever thought that life on the road was preferable. Castiel was the best of all things in life. Regardless of what would happen, as long as he had Cas, as long as he could love and be loved by this Angel, he'd be okay.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dean," Cas said gently, bringing a hand to his husband's face.  
> Dean shook his head, covering Cas's hand with his own.  
> "I know you're sad to lose your Angel-mojo, but when you talk about being 'useless'.. all I hear is how you lost your grace because of me. And I don't want you to be sad, buddy..."  
> Castiel's expression shifted from concern, to regret.  
> "It's not that I'm sad about being human," he told the hunter. "It just... at least with my powers... it makes up for the fact that I'm an embarrassment of a human. I don't know how to do things, or how to read human situations... I don't want to be a burden."  
> Dean leaned up, gently guiding Castiel back against the bed. He brushed his hand over the Angel's hair, looking down into his bright blue eyes.  
> "I love you for how you are Cas,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Cas. I really do love him!
> 
> This chapter seemed odd and short and a weird transitional piece between the last and next chapter, so I thought I'd post it tonight. Enjoy. :)

    At five a.m. when Dean's alarm when off, he reached quickly for his phone and turned of the sound. He stretched, groaning at the sensation of feeling the tightness in his muscles give. He turned to look at the man at his side. Castiel was sleeping soundly, he soft lips slightly parted, his normally furrowed brow smooth and relaxed. The Angel's wavy, dark hair was tousled and the sight of him cause a funny flutter in Dean's stomach that he now knew was associated with love. The perfect kind of love that makes everything better and wonderful.  
  
    On a whim, Dean turned his phone to camera mode and took a picture of the sleeping Angel. It would comfort him later when they were separated for his FBI training and missed waking up at his side. For kicks, he flipped the camera function to video.  
  
    "Hey, baby," he murmured, reaching out and running the back of his fingers across Castiel's cheek. Cas stirred, taking in a slow, deep breath as he blinked his eyes. Dean grinned, keeping the other man in frame as he watched him. "'Morning," he greeted. Castiel squinted up at the phone before squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again.  
  
    "Good morning," he replied, before questioning. "What are you doing, Dean?"  
  
    "Making memories," Dean told him, ruffling his hair further, but drew his hand lovingly down the Angel's cheek. "Say something that will keep me going when I'm in DC for training."  
  
    Castiel's expression shifted slightly, as if he'd rather not think about that time apart.  
  
    "I love you, Dean... I miss you already."  
  
    Dean smiled, turning off the camera as he leaned down to kiss the other man.  
  
    "God, I love you too." he replied, turning his face down to nuzzle Cas' throat. With reluctance, he pulled himself from bed and crossed to the bathroom, showering and dressing for the day. When he returned to the bedroom, Castiel was no longer in the bed, which was now neatly made. Dean sighed, grabbing his shoes and tie and heading down into the kitchen. Cas in the kitchen, still dressed in a t-shirt and sleep pants, standing in front of the stove. Dean grinned, dropping his shoes to the floor and settling in one of the kitchen chairs. He slipped the tie around his neck, knotting it expertly as he watched the Angel cook.  
  
    "I hope you want eggs," Cas told him, turning and emptying half of the pan onto one plate before placing the rest on a second. "It's one of the two things I know how to make. And we had pancakes yesterday, so..."  
  
    "Sounds awesome," Dean told him, slipping into his shoes and tying them as Cas placed buttered toast on the plates and carried them to the table. Before he sat, he poured the hunter a cup of coffee and sat it before him.  
  
    "Thanks, babe," Dean smiled, starting in on his meal. After a few bites, Dean spoke. "What are you going to do today?"  
  
    Castiel shrugged, chewing thoughtfully before replying.  
  
    "I have laundry to finish," he began. "And I will take care of the baby. Monday is the day for dusting and vacuuming... Jessica made me a chart."  
  
    Dean gave a small huff of laughter. He could kiss Jess and Sam for how much they've tried to help Castiel adjust to his new human life. Of course, he felt slightly guilty for how boring it was.  
  
    After he finished eating, Dean gathered his things for work and Castiel made his lunch. By the time Dean was ready to leave the baby had woken, and Cas brought her down. She squealed happily at Dean, and he smothered her with kisses before leaning up to kiss the Angel as well.  
  
    "If you need anything, you call me." he insisted. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "I will. I'll be fine Dean."  
  
    Dean nodded, kissing him and the baby one last time before leaving the house. Cas held Mary's hand up to wave to Dean, and the hunter laughed, sliding into the Impala. He was struck with another of those odd, surreal moments - he was going to work, with a home made lunch, and at night he would come home to his family.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean called home to Cas more times than he probably should have, and twice his calls were answered with voice mail, prompting him to call back until he answered only to find Castiel was spending most of his day answering calls from him and Sam.  
  
    "It is good to hear your voice, Dean," Cas told him. "But, I am well and Mary is well, I assure you."  
  
    "Right, I know," Dean told him, leaning back in his office chair and tapping a pen on his desktop. "I just... miss you."  
  
    "I miss you too," Castiel assured him. "What would you like me to make for dinner?"  
  
    "Surprise me," Dean grinned. "See you at five."  
  
    "Yes, Dean,"  
  
    Dean smiled, turning off the phone. With a sigh, he went back to his day, shadowing his senior agent and learning the ins and outs of case prep, case note submission, and file maintenance.  
  
    "I know this seems pretty boring and basic right now," Agent Connor told him. "But, once your brother's on-board, the director is sending you to training together."  
  
    "Sounds good," Dean commented as they walked back to his cubicle. Connor leaned on the desk, reaching over and picking up the picture frame near the computer monitor.  
  
    "This your daughter?" he asked, his eyes scanning the picture of the happy, wide-eyed baby girl. Dean smirked, nodding. Connor cleared his throat slightly, putting the frame back where it was. "And that's your... husband?" he asked, referring to the blue-eyed Angel in the picture holding the baby. Dean nodded.  
  
    "Yeah." Dean replied, rubbing the back of his neck. The framed photo was his mom’s idea, and he had tried to turn it down, but once it was on his desk he was happy to have it there. "Yeah. His name's Cas.... are you married?"  
  
    "Yep," Connor replied, taking his phone from his pocket and scrolling through. He handed the phone to Dean. "Lauren. We've been married for about two years. We were friends in high school," he said with a laugh. "But, for some reason, we never went out. I had a hard time thinking of her as a girlfriend in high school because we had been friends for so long,"  
  
    "I know that feeling," Dean said, shaking his head. "Cas and I were friends for, I dunno, three years... I never dated a friend before." he gave another uncomfortable laugh. "I mean, I'd never dated... you know..."  
  
    Agent Connor's eyes widened and he looked back to the picture of Cas and Mary.  
  
    "No shit?" he asked, surprised. "And just one day... Bam?"  
  
    "Yep," Dean replied. "I mean, I don't know. I mean, I _do_ know... but..." he shook his head. "...Life’s a funny thing."  
  
    "Wow," Conner commented. "Well... he's cute."  
  
    Dean chuckled.  
  
    "A plus," he said. "But no, it's great. He's great. We've only been married about three weeks, but... it's good."  
  
    Conner nodded. Dean waited for the inevitable question about where Mary came from, but it never came.  
  
    "Well, we'll have to have lunch with the fams together sometime," Connor replied. "I guess I'll let you get on home. Have a good night, Winchester."  
  
    "Thanks,"  
  
    Relieved to have the day finally over, Dean closed down his workstation and gathered his things. He spent the commute home listening to classic rock on the radio, but stopped off at a grocery store on a whim. When he got home, he he was already smiling when he opened the door.  
  
    "Honey? I'm home!" He called. Castiel came down the stairs, carrying the baby in his arms. He smiled at Dean, a pleased blush rising to his face upon seeing the grinning hunter with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Mary squealed in delight upon seeing her father. "Hey beautiful," Dean said warmly, leaning down to kiss the baby. He handed the flowers to the Angel, taking the baby from his arms. He leaned over to catch Cas for a kiss before he spoke. "Hey,"  
  
    "Welcome home," Castiel told him. "This is very sweet, thank you. Did you have a good day?"  
  
    "Not bad," Dean spoke, following him into the kitchen. "You?"  
  
    "It was quiet," Castiel replied. Dean watched him search the cupboards for something to use as a vase. Dean sighed, setting down at the table.  
  
    "Sorry you were bored."  
  
    "I didn't say I was bored," Cas clarified. "I said it was quiet. I'm familiar with spending time in silence. It's good for prayer. I need more practice."  
  
    "Practice?" Dean asked with a grimace. Cas blushed.  
  
    "Not thinking about you." he admitted. "It used to be easier... before we were together."  
  
    Dean grinned, giving a wag of his eyebrows.  
  
    "What have you been thinking about me?" he teased. Cas shook his head, not taking the bait of Dean's comment, but he did blush.  
  
    The topic moved easily to Dean's day at work as Castiel prepared dinner and Dean fed the baby. They spent the remainder of the evening playing with and attending to Mary. When the sun went down, they took her up to bed.  
  
    "See, I told you she'd be okay in here." Dean told the Angel as they looked down at the infant falling easily asleep in her crib. "She's a brave girl."  
  
    Castiel reached down, running a hand over the baby's wavy hair before they moved away to their own room. They shared the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Cas glanced over at Dean who stood in front of the toilet, emptying his bladder.  
  
    "Elimination is my least favorite part of being human," he commented, grimly. Dean chuckled, shrugging.  
  
    "Being human has its perks," he said, slipping his arms around the Angel's waist and laying a kiss on his shoulder. Castiel gave a small smile, dropping his hand to touch Dean's hip.  
  
    "I'm well aware." he replied, turning in Dean's arms and wrapping his arms around the hunter's neck. Dean closed his eyes, kissing Castiel deeply, his mind humming happily. Yesterday might have started as a disaster, but today was beautiful. Waking up to his husband, having breakfast, going to work, coming home to his family... It was beautiful. The ups and downs - he'd take them. To have this.  
  
    "Let's go to bed," Dean murmured, sliding his hands along Castiel's sides and stroking along his hips. Castiel nodded, taking Dean's hand and following him into the bedroom.  
  
    It was probably going to be one of the last nights in a long time that they would be able to make love with the door wide open, but they didn't want to close it now with Mary asleep across the room. They actually were independently wondering how they would now make love at all once Sam and Jess returned, but for now, they put the thought away and focused on the moment.  
  
    Dean kissed the Angel deeply before moving his lips to touch as much skin as possible as they undressed. He moaned at the way Cas touched him back, hands firm yet stroking softly, traveling over his body as if he'd never tire of exploring the same flesh. Dean felt the same.  
  
    Castiel lay back on the bed, staring up at Dean with heavy lidded eyes. Those eyes that Dean didn't realize were so easy to get lost in. Dean leaned over and kissed the Angel, gently settling in between his thighs. Castiel reached up to cup Dean's face, opening his mouth to the hunter, moaning into their kiss.  
  
    "I love you," Dean whispered, grinding his body into the older man's. Castiel groaned, closing his eyes and pressing back against Dean's warmth. "Cas?" Dean said again, the smile obvious in his tone. He rolled his hips again, sliding his erection against the Angel's. "And?"  
  
    "I love you too," the Angel gasped, his hand's moving to delve into Dean's hair. "I love you too."  
  
    Dean chuckled, leaning down to nip and suck along the Angel's throat as he continued to move, rocking their bodies together. When Castiel began to pant a little too heavily, he pulled away, setting back onto his heels. He smiled down at the Angel who reached out to drag his fingers down the sharp angle of Dean's hips and smooth across his abdomen. Dean leaned across the bed, retrieving the bottle of lubricant. Clicking the lid, he squeezed some of the gel into his palm. It was thicker than the other brand, but it was warm in his palm and slid smoothly over his erection. He lay back over Cas, and the Angel brought his legs up over the hunter's hips, pulling him in close.  
  
    Their lips met once again in a deep and passionate kiss. Dean ran the head of his shaft against the Angel's entrance, spreading the smooth gel before pushing gently inside. Cas moaned, his thighs tightening around Dean's hips. Dean struck a gentle rhythm, bringing his hand's up to Castiel's arms, gripping the bulging muscle of his biceps as his muscles tensed with each deep thrust.  
  
    Dean brought his lips to Castiel's throat, dragging his teeth over the taught skin, leaving Cas' mouth free to moan and sigh without impediment. Soon, Cas began to squirm, his breathing coming in ragged gasps.  
  
    "Dean," he spoke, his hands coming to the hunter's shoulders. "Dean,"  
  
    "I gotcha, baby," Dean murmured, leaning up to look down into the Angel's face. "Just let go,"  
  
    Castiel's brow furrowed, and Dean had a fleeting thought that his expression resembled pain.  
  
    "Dean please, stop,"  
  
    The words not only brought the younger man to a sudden halt, he withdrew completely, setting back on his heels.  
      
    "Babe, you okay?" he asked quickly, his heart beat quickening at the look of intense discomfort on his husband's face. "What'd I do? What happened?"  
  
    Castiel swallowed with difficulty.  
  
    "It... burns."  
  
    Dean stared a him a moment, dumbstruck, before taking his hand and pulling him from the bed. Cas stumbled after him, making a small sound of irritation, but let the younger man usher him into the shower stall. Dean turned on the water, finding a cool temperature that wasn't too cold, before directing it on the Angel.  
  
    Cas sucked in a breath at the sensation, leaning his arm against the shower wall and placing his forehead against his arm.  
  
    "It's okay," he heard Dean speak soothingly, as warm hands gently stroked where the cool water flowed. "It's okay,"  
  
    "It hurts," Castiel replied, his voice tight and his face and torso flushed with embarrassment. "What happened?"  
  
    Dean shook his head, even though he knew Cas wasn't watching him.  
  
    "Don't know, babe," he replied, pulling a washcloth from the stack on the linen rack and added some soap to the equation. Castiel groaned at the contact as Dean tried to clean him up as gingerly as possible. "Either I didn't use enough or you had a bad reaction to it. How's it feel now?"  
  
    Cas grimaced. The burning sensation had somewhat faded, but there was a prickly ache in it's place.  
  
    "Not good,"  
  
    Dean sighed, directing the flow of water to against Cas's opening, placing a kiss low on his back.  
  
    "I'm so sorry, baby,"  
  
    Castiel didn't respond, he just continued to take deep, measured breaths. In a few moments, he declared himself acceptably tended and let Dean dry the water from his lower half. He was quiet as they returned to bed. Dean felt helpless. He wanted to ask if the Angel was mad, but he knew he wasn't. He knew he was just upset - upset by the situation, and the obvious and glaring fact that he couldn't heal himself. It brought the question of his damaged grace to the forefront.  
  
    Dean still pulled the older man into his arms, holding him while they lay in the dark. He wasn't sure how to help him, how to make things better.  
  
    "You know what?" Dean spoke, his lips brushing over Cas's soft hair. Castiel didn't respond, so he continued. "We get to spend the rest of our lives together... and every second of that is precious to me."  
  
    Castiel pressed in tighter, turning his face down against Dean's chest. Dean was grateful for the low, but muffled reply.  
  
    "To me as well,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    When Dean reluctantly left for work the next day, Castiel assured him that he was fine and that it was not necessary for the hunter to miss work on his account. The Angel didn't look particularly well, but Dean considered his expression was his usual pensive face, just with a layer of embarrassment. However, when he called at lunch time to check on things, Cas's response was like lead in his gut.  
  
    "I think I need to see a doctor, Dean,"  
  
    Dean sat forward, switching his phone to the opposite ear as if he didn't hear him correctly.  
  
    "What happened? What's wrong?" he demanded. He could hear the Angel sigh uncomfortably.  
  
    "It... it is very painful. It still... hurts."  
  
    "I'm on my way," Dean told him. "I'll drive as fast as legal. You just be ready to go when I get there."  
  
    The Angel's voice was small and defeated when he replied.  
  
    "Okay."  
  
    Dean shut down his computer, dropping in to tell his boss he had to take his husband to the doctor before rushing from the office. He drove like a Indy car driver, weaving in and out of traffic which was happily light for the time of day. When he pulled up in front of the house, he left the car running as he jumped out and jogged toward the door.  
  
    "I'm not dying, Dean," Castiel said irritably, handing the baby carrier to the younger man as they exited the house. Castiel locked the door, waiting for Dean to strap the baby in before uncomfortably settling in the seat at the hunter's side.  
  
    Dean reached out and gave Cas' thigh a squeeze when the Angel brought his hands wearily to his face.  
  
    "This isn't the end of the word, babe," Dean said. "You'll look back on this one day and laugh."  
  
    The look that Castiel turned on him was not amused. The rest of the short ride was in silence.  
  
    One of the things that Dean had arranged his week in town was to map the closest doctors and pediatricians, so he knew exactly where he wanted to go. It took only a few moment, and they were at the closest urgent care and family medical office.  
  
    "Uh, hi," Dean spoke to the nurse, glancing back to where Cas stood, holding the infant carrier and looking around at the other people in the waiting room. "My husband needs to see a doctor."  
  
    "Just fill out these forms here. I'll need to see ID and insurance card," the receptionist replied. "And a nurse will call you back shortly."  
  
    Dean quickly jotted down Castiel's information, before taking the insurance cards from his wallet.  
  
    "Babe," he called to Castiel. "I need your ID." The irritated look Castiel kept turning on him was making him nervous. He hoped against hope that the Angel wasn't somehow blaming him for this. Once they were checked in, Dean put a hand to the Angel's back. "It's going to be okay," he insisted.  
  
    "I know that, Dean," Castiel replied tersely.  
  
    Dean grimaced. He wanted to snap back and ask him to be less of a jerk, but he bit his tongue. He wouldn't be a ray of sunshine himself in this situation.  
  
    "Winchester?"  
  
    Dean and Castiel followed the nurse back to the exam room. Dean sat the carrier on the floor by the chair, but he leaned against the wall and watched as the young woman took his husband's vitals, wondering if any of them would be suspicious. She took his weight, pulse, and temperature without comment, but when she removed the blood pressure cuff, she commented on it being 'a little high'.  
  
    "But, that's to be expected when you aren't feeling well," she told him sympathetically before handing him a light greenish-blue gown. "Undress completely from the waist down and the doctor will be in in a moment,"  
  
    Dean bit his lip, watching the Angel's eyes close for a moment before he resignedly began to remove his shoes. Dean moved to his side, taking the items he removed and folding them. He placed them on the chair and returned to lean against the wall. Castiel gingerly sat on the exam table.  
  
    They waited in silence before a knock on the door sounded. A young woman came in, her white coat embroidered with the name "Dr. Stewart".  
  
    "Castiel Winchester?" she greeted, balancing a laptop in one hand as she extended the other to Cas. "I'm Dr. Stewart. It's nice to meet you."  
  
    "Thank you," Castiel replied, shaking her hand. She turned to Dean, who stepped forward and shook her hand as well.  
  
    "The other 'Mr. Winchester'," he told her. "Dean." She smiled and nodded, looking down at the baby carrier.  
  
    "And little Winchester, I presume?" they both nodded. "Well," she began, reviewing the data on her laptop as she set it on the counter. "What brings you in today?"  
  
    Dean bit his lip, but Castiel replied with calm composure.  
  
    "I have a severe discomfort in my rectal area."  
  
    The doctor nodded as though this wasn't shocking, placing her stethoscope in her ears and bringing the instrument to his chest.  
  
    "Deep breath," she said, listening to his heart a moment before continuing. "Was there a trauma? Or has it been developing over some time?"  
  
    "It was sudden," Castiel told her. "During intercourse,"  
  
    Dean wanted to leave the room, turning his eyes up to stare at the ceiling. He wasn't sure why he had come back to begin with. He and Mary should be in the waiting room reading Web MD and Highlights magazine.  
  
    The Doctor removed her stethoscope and placed it on the counter beside the laptop.  
  
    "Were you using a lubricant?" she asked. Castiel nodded, and Dean felt his stomach twist. As much as he wanted to run, he knew this was what he signed up for marrying a dude. The doctor asked another question. "Was your husband penetrating you with his penis, or some other object?"  
  
    Dean wanted to run again.  
  
    "Just himself," Castiel replied, looking over at Dean. "We've done it before, and it never hurt before."  
  
    "The, uh," Dean began, trying to be helpful and not look like he wanted to escape. "The lubricant was new."  
  
    The doctor nodded in understanding.  
  
    "What kind was it?"  
  
    Dean grimaced. He wasn't expecting a follow-up.  
  
    "...warming?" he said. The doctor tried to hide her smirk, but didn't do a great job.  
  
    "Oil based or water based, is what I meant actually," she told Dean. She turned then to Castiel. "Just lay back and roll onto your side. I need to examine the area."  
  
    Dean coughed into his fist, hoping that it covered his odd balking noise that he made hearing the instruction. Castiel looked un-fooled and unamused. Dean gave him a sympathetic look, but looked away again when the doctor put on a pair of latex gloves. He could hear the wheels of the stool slide across the linoleum and the click of the examining lamp.  
  
    Castiel grimaced as he felt a hand on his skin. It was odd, before he never would have had any second thought about this vessel, but now that he had some experience as a human, it felt weird to have someone touching him or looking at him where only Dean should.  
  
    "This looks like an allergic reaction," the doctor commented, examining the external area of his opening. "There is a lot of irritation."  
  
    "I agree," Castiel spoke.  
  
    "How long was there contact?" she asked next. Castiel considered.  
  
    "Thirteen minutes,"  
  
    "About," Dean added, so it didn’t' sound so precise. Precise sounded bad for too many reasons.  
  
    "Ok. Well, Castiel," Dr. Stewart said, and Dean turned back to her, thinking she was to the point of diagnosis. "I’m going to skip the internal exam because I don’t want to further irritate you." Dean actually thanked God. Dr. Stewart stood, pulling off her gloves. "That's a pretty bad reaction. There's some inflammation and swelling. I'll write a prescription for some antibiotic pain relief cream, as well as an oral anti-biotic." Castiel sat up, wincing slightly but listened patiently. The doctor picked up her laptop. "I'm going to bet that the lubricant you used was an oil based - allergic reaction is quiet common to certain oil based lubricants. Stick to water based and you should be fine. No penetration for at least two weeks. Give yourself some time to heal."  
  
    "I understand," Castiel spoke quietly. She smiled gently at him.  
  
    "Take care, okay? If you don't start to see some relief in a couple of days, or if it gets worse, come back in." he nodded. "Have a good day, guys. My nurse will get you that prescription."  
  
    Dean gave a nod, and the doctor left them alone. Castiel sighed.  
  
    "Well, now I am familiar with one more human emotion," he said blandly, taking the clothing Dean handed him. "Humiliation,"  
  
    Dean frowned, crossing to the Angel and pulling him into an embrace.  
  
    "Get used to that one, baby," he said, hoping to sound sympathetic, yet encouraging. "I'm so used to that feeling, I don't even feel it any more."  
  
    Castiel raised an eyebrow, but didn't refute the statement. He was quiet a moment before saying, softly.  
  
    "Two weeks..."  
  
    Dean sighed, pulling away.  
  
    "It's alright," he said, moving away so Cas could finish dressing. "We got the rest of our lives." Castiel looked touched by the words, and Dean leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. "C’mon buddy," he said. "I'm going to take you home and take real good care of you."  
  
    Castiel shook his head, stepping into his boxers.  
  
    "That sounds like a flirtation, but I know that it is an empty flirtation."  
  
    Dean chuckled, picking up the baby carrier.  
  
    "The flirtation is sincere, I assure you." But Cas was right. Any intent behind it was going to end in a fierce palm stroke in the shower. But his relationship with Cas wasn't just sex, but love. And he kind of loved that. He actually really loved that. "Come on, Angel," he said, motioning him out. "Let's go home."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Once back to the townhouse, Dean fed Mary and put her down for a nap while Castiel took a shower - since he suddenly felt he needed one. Dean paced the floor of the nursery, singing softly under his breath until the baby was asleep. He lay her gently in her crib, smiling down at the adorable baby before heading downstairs to retrieve Castiel's prescription and the release notes from the doctor. When he returned upstairs and turned into his room, Castiel was emerging from the bathroom, drying his lean, muscular limbs.  
  
    "Don't bother getting dressed," Dean advised him, causing Cas to raise an eyebrow in question. Dean continued in a business-like manner. "I'm putting you down for a nap too."  
  
    Cas sighed, drying himself off as Dean passed him. Dean walked into the bathroom and filled a cup with water, returning to the bedroom.  
  
    "First things first," Dean announced, handing the Angel the cup of water and opening the prescription bag. He read the instructions carefully before opening the bottle and handing two pills to Castiel. "Take these."  
  
    Cas sighed, putting the pills in his mouth and washing them down with the water. Dean took the cup and placed it on the bedside table, before pulling back the comforter on the bed.  
  
    "Hop in," Dean told him, waiting for the Angel to lay down before he sat at his side. Castiel watched him read the release instructions from the doctor, and he spoke quietly to the hunter.  
  
    "This is embarrassing, isn't it?" he asked, earning the younger man's attention. "This is something I shouldn't speak of."  
  
    "You embarrassed?" Dean asked, resting a hand on Cas’s hip. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "You once told me," he reminded the younger man. "That things related to the area beneath your undergarments should not be talked about. By extension, it seems that those areas are private and therefore any public exposure to something deemed intimate is embarrassing."  
  
    Dean sighed, lowering the paper in his hand.  
  
    "Medical things don't' count as embarrassing when you have to share it with doctors." he told him. "Or with those closest to you, like me. Never be embarrassed to tell me anything."  
  
    "What if Sam finds out?" Castiel asked, his eyes narrowing. Dean took a deep breath, considering the question before responding.  
  
    "Humans usually have people close to them that they share private things with." he told the Angel. "Brothers, best friends... Sammy's your brother now, too. If you feel that you want to trust personal information to Sam - or Jimmy - someone like that, you should and you shouldn't be embarrassed."  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before he answered.  
  
    " _You're_ my best friend, Dean," he told the other man. Dean grinned, leaning down to kiss the Angel.  
  
    "You better believe it," he said, huskily. Castiel smiled back, but Dean sat up. "Enough of that, now." the hunter said, returning to an all-business demeanor. "Let me take a look at what's going on here..."  
  
    Castiel grimaced, but brought his knee up so Dean could examine his wound. Dean made an involuntary hiss, but recovered quickly to shrug.  
  
    "No big deal," he assured the Angel, retrieving the prescription bag and taking out the instruction sheet. He read it through carefully twice before taking out the tube of pain reduction antibiotic. "Now, I'll try to be as un-sexy as possible with this," he told his husband with a smirk.  
  
    "I don't think that will be a problem, Dean," Castiel told him dryly, watching the younger man squeeze some of the clear gel out onto his fingertips.  
  
    "Alright buddy," Dean muttered, dropping his hand to smooth the cool gel over Castiel's skin. "This has some anti-inflammatory pain killers in it, so it may make you feel a little numb down here."  
  
    "Good," Castiel grunted, discomfort plain on his face. Dean spoke softly to soothe him.  
  
    " _Deep_ breath, baby," he spoke, his heart aching to cause Cas any more pain that he was already in, emotionally or physically. "Alright, let's let that do its thing," he said, rising to his feet and crossing to the bathroom. He washed his hands and took a washcloth from the pile, drenching it in cold water before wringing it as dry as he could. He returned to the bed, folding the cloth and handing it to the Angel. "Cold compress. Apply as needed."  
  
    Castiel gave a small laugh, watching Dean strip from his shirt, tie and slacks before he settled at the Angel's side. Dean slid in close to Castiel, slipping his arm under the Angel's head and laying a kiss on his shoulder. Castiel curled in to Dean's chest, and they were quiet a moment before Castiel spoke.  
  
    "I feel less than useless," he began, his deep voice low and quiet. "I used to be helpful... at least a little... usually less than I thought, but at least some...I can’t even heal myself..."  
  
    Dean sighed, pulling the Angel tighter.  
  
    "Let's play a little game," he spoke, tucking Cas' head back down against his neck when the Angel attempted to look up at him. "I'm going to give you a scenario, you tell me how you'd feel about it, okay?"  
  
    There was some hesitance, but Castiel responded.  
  
    "...okay,"  
  
    Dean cleared his throat, settling more comfortably before he continued.  
  
    "Let's imagine, the one night, you and I are getting kind of frisky," he grinned at the very idea, "and we're kissing and touching, and things get pretty heated - clothes flying, hands roaming, there's licking and biting...." Castiel shifted, so Dean moved quickly to the point. "And we start grinding into each other, and I've got my hands on your ass and I'm sayin' ' _harder, baby - harder_ ,"  
  
    "Is this supposed to be helping?" Castiel asked. Dean gave a small chuckle.  
  
    "I'm getting there," he explained. Castiel responded humorlessly.  
  
    "So am I..."  
  
    Dean grimaced, a warmth rising up his neck. He cleared his throat again.  
  
    "Yeah, so anyway, just when things are getting to the end - _bam!_ \- I feel something snap," Castiel looked up at him concerned. Dean went on, staring at the ceiling. "And holy shit does it hurt. Thing go immediately south. I'm writhing in pain."  
  
    "Are you okay?" Castiel asked, concerned. Dean smirked.  
  
    "It's not looking like it. You get dressed, and you help me back into my clothes as best you can, we get to the hospital ER. And after they poke and prod and grope me, they let me know I pulled a groin muscle."  
  
    "That sounds painful," Castiel observed. Dean nodded.  
  
    "Hell yeah. So they put me on muscle relaxers and pain meds and tell me not to get my groove on for a while. And since I'm drugged and needing to keep an ice pack on my junk, I have to miss work and you have to wait on me hand and foot. So... would this be embarrassing for me and make me useless?"  
  
    Castiel grimaced as the story came to a close, seeing where Dean was getting.  
  
    "No, it would not," he replied. "I should have been able to use my powers to cure you before we went to the ER. I'm the useless one."  
  
    Dean groaned, running a hand over his hair.  
  
    "Well, you're a human now, babe, for all intents and purposes" he said plainly. "And I'm fine with that. But being human doesn't make you useless. You love me, I think, for who I am. Why can't you see that's how I feel about you? You take care of me Cas, on your own, without power. And that you do that for me, I... I can't tell you how much it means to be. All those things you do, like making my lunch and leaving me notes and taking care of our baby... Is it worth a small, albeit pretty awful, rash to disregard all those wonderful things you do? Because I think you underestimate how guilty I feel about what happened. I mean, I was the one who bought the damn stuff without looking at the ingredients and I was the one not paying attention to your cues - you were probably uncomfortable for a while before you stopped me, and I didn't notice. Damnit, why didn't I notice..." the last words were mostly to himself, and Castiel looked up into his face.  
  
    "Dean," he said gently, bringing a hand to his husband's face.  
  
    Dean shook his head, covering Cas's hand with his own.  
  
    "I know you're sad to lose your Angel-mojo, but when you talk about being 'useless'.. all I hear is how you lost your grace because of me. And I don't want you to be sad, buddy..."  
  
    Castiel's expression shifted from concern, to regret.  
  
    "It's not that I'm sad about being human," he told the hunter. "It just... at least with my powers... it makes up for the fact that I'm an embarrassment of a human. I don't know how to do things, or how to read human situations... I don't want to be a burden."  
  
    Dean leaned up, gently guiding Castiel back against the bed. He brushed his hand over the Angel's hair, looking down into his bright blue eyes.  
  
    "I love you for how you are Cas," he reiterated. "I've been human all my life. You've been human not even a couple months. You'll learn. It won't change how I feel about you... I'm proud to have you in my life." he seemed lost in Castiel's eyes a moment. "... my beautiful Angel..."  
  
    "Dean," Cas breathed, leaning up to kiss the hunter. They kissed softly a moment, but as the heat began to rise, Dean pulled away.  
  
    "Steady there, Cas," he chuckled, shifting back to Castiel's side instead of partially over him. "It's nap time, remember,"  
  
    Castiel nodded, letting Dean collect him back into his arms. Dean held the Angel tightly, laying kisses on his hair until he became too sleepy to keep his eyes open. Both men fell into a deep, warm and happy sleep, secure in each other's affection, and grateful that those affections were returned.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Castiel's mood perked up quickly, having a little to do with the pain relievers in his medication. There was a little bit of disappointment that they couldn't take advantage of their remaining two days home alone, but both were actually surprised with the intimacy they achieved without sexual contact. They spent more time talking, which seemed to deepen their bond even more.  
  
    On Tuesday after Dean returned to work, he and Cas took the baby to a home goods store where they picked out window treatments for the first floor and the upstairs bedrooms, and Dean hung them while Castiel made supper. Their house was actually starting to look more like a home every day, and Dean couldn't help feeling a warm happiness in his chest and a deep rooted pride in how his life was turning out. On Wednesday, Cas sent Dean off to work with a kiss, a smile and promise of something special for supper. Both were excited to see Jessica and Sam that evening.  
  
    Castiel was laying on the living room floor on a blanket with a sleeping baby and reading a magazine when he heard a car pull up in the drive. He pulled himself from the floor, making sure Mary was soundly asleep before crossing to the door. He opened the door and smiled, watching Sam and Jess pulling their luggage from the car.  
  
    "Cas!" Sam greeted happily, dropping his bag to throw an arm around the shorter man. "It's good to see you. How's it going?"  
  
    "It's good to see you too, Sam, Jessica. I'm well. It's going very well." he embraced the blonde next, and followed them back into the house. Same left his belongings by the door, crossing to drop himself by the baby.  
  
    "There's my girl," he said lovingly, gently lifting the sleeping baby into his arms. "Did you miss uncle Sam, huh?"  
  
    Jessica grinned widely, crossing over to kiss the sleeping baby before she lead Castiel, who had retrieved Sam's things, to her room.  
  
    "How is your family?" Castiel asked, setting the items on the bed. Jessica sighed wistfully.  
  
    "Wonderful. It was so good to see them again. I owe it all to you, Cas," she embraced him tightly, and he could hear the emotion in her voice. She sniffed, but continued to smile as she spoke. "But, it's good to come home. You and Dean are family too, and Sam was missing his little Mary."  
  
    Cas smiled, nodding.  
  
    "She missed him too."  
  
    They returned to the living room where Sam still sat holding the infant in his arms. He looked up when they entered the room.  
  
    "I like the curtains," he commented. "It really makes it feel warm in here."  
  
    "We bought some for the bedrooms, too," Castiel explained. "And we're almost finished with the nursery-"  
  
    "I want to see the nursery!" both Sam and Jessica broke in. Castiel obliged, and the three went up to look at the nursery.  
  
    "Wow," Sam breathed, adjusting the baby in his arms so she was comfortable. "You and Dean did a great job. This is nice." he looked around the room at the crib and rocking chair, the sun-yellow curtains, and the little decorative touches. It looked like a real nursery. Sam felt a swell of happiness for them. "How's she liking the crib,"  
  
    Castiel sighed.  
  
    "Very much. She sleeps through the night now, which is good for Dean." he explained. "He is a very light sleeper, so it was hard to get up to feed her without waking him. And he needs a full night's rest for work."  
  
    Jessica smiled.  
  
    "Is _he_ sleeping through the night?" she asked. Castiel nodded.  
  
    "Fortunately, yes. I do too, on occasion."  
  
    Sam grimaced, laying the baby down in the crib and turning to his brother-in-law.  
  
    "How're you doing, Cas?" he asked. Castiel smiled.  
  
    "I think I'm doing well - or at least, I'm trying to." he turned to Jessica. "I have kept to your cleaning schedule and the house has stayed orderly. Dean seems please with the food that I've learned to make. Things are going very well."  
  
    "You got new curtains for your room, too?" Jessica asked, moving into the hall and leaning into the next bedroom. Cas and Dean's room looked very cozy, with the bed neatly made, the dark wooden furniture and the deep navy curtains. Castiel and Sam followed, Sam flopping down on the thick, feathery bed topper.  
  
    "I like them," Castiel commented, watching Jessica pull the curtain away from the wall and examine the lining on the other side. "I've never really thought much about home decoration, but Dean thinks it is important."  
  
    Sam smiled softly. Yeah, it would be important to Dean. To recreate the home life that he had been robbed of at such a young age. He pulled a pillow under his head and looked around the room. It was simple, yet warm. Dean's life.  
  
    His eyes landed on the reddish-brown bottle on the nightstand and he reached out for it. The prescription label was made out to Castiel Winchester.  
  
    "You sick, Cas?" he asked concerned, setting up. Castiel turned to him, grimacing slightly before shaking his head.  
  
    "No, I'm not ill." he replied, but Sam noticed the way the Angel moved his hands awkwardly as if he wanted to cross his arms or put his hands in his pockets, anything but fidget.  
  
    "You sure?" Sam asked setting up, looking back to the bottle. "This is recent, and I think this is a pretty heavy duty anti-biotic."  
  
    Jessica took the bottle from Sam, reading the label.  
  
    "This is a serious anti-biotic," She spoke, looking upon the Angel with concern. "Doctors only prescribe this if there is a bad infection or a high likelihood of infection..."  
  
    Castiel sighed, setting down on the side of the bed and taking the bottle back from Jessica.  
  
    "I assure you, I'm not ill." he replied, taking a deep breath. "I did have an... incident, but it's... personal."  
  
    "Oh," Sam replied, but his brow furrowed as he tried to work out the meaning. Jessica spoke.  
  
    "I'm going to go start some coffee," she said, giving Sam a ' _talk to him_ ' sort of look. Both men watched her go. Sam cleared his throat, moving his long legs off the side of the bed to settle at Cas' side.  
  
    "You... you wanna talk about it?" Sam asked, trying not to sound too uncomfortable. He was concerned for his brother-in-law, but he couldn't imagine what could have happened to the Angel in such little time. Castiel raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "I appreciate your concern, Sam," he said with a grin. "But, you really don't have to ask."  
  
    Sam sighed, patting the Angel on the back.  
  
    "I just... I just need to know you're okay, Cas," he replied. He knew, realistically, that the Angel was older than him, but he felt like the other man was a younger brother. You certainly don't teach a guy how to shower and shave, and not feel invested in his life.  
  
    "I'm fine Sam, it's..." He sighed, smirking. "It's... it's of a rather... intimate nature... between your brother and I."  
  
    Sam frowned, leaning back slightly.  
  
    "Oh my god," he breathed. "Dean gave you some sort of STD?"  
  
    Castiel frowned as well, looking horrified by the idea.  
  
    "No - I'm not ill Sam," he insisted. "I... I got... hurt." He could see the expression in Sam's green eyes slide back to concern. Cas sighed. "I had an allergic reaction to a... lubricant."  
  
    "Oh," Sam stated, his eyes widening before he shrugged. He gave Castiel another pat on the back. "That had to have ruined your time alone a bit. What did the doctor say?"  
  
    "She said I would be fine in a couple weeks," Cas told him. "Dean's been taking good care of me. It's not..." he blushed, shaking his head. "It's just another part of the human experience. Embarrassment."  
  
    Sam chuckled, leaning his elbows on his thighs.  
  
    "You know, the third time that I hung out with Jess, I had the flu and I was trying to be cool and pretend I was okay," he chuckled again, blushing and running a hand through his hair. "And I, uh, I threw up in the trash can in her apartment because I couldn't make it to the bathroom." Castiel raised his eyebrows and Sam laughed harder. "I was so embarrassed. I thought she'd never speak to me again - I mean, she's so beautiful, and nice - and I was so weird and geeky... but, the best thing was that she took care of me, and I got better, and our relationship got stronger... and I knew how she felt about me. We were pretty inseparable since."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed slightly as he considered the information.  
  
    "Are you suggesting," he began slowly. "That sharing of an intimately embarrassing situation... can strengthen a bond?"  
  
    Sam chuckled, shrugging.  
  
    "Yeah, I guess. I mean, when someone sees you at your worst and they love you and take care of you... " Sam smiled. "I think it takes lots of every kind of experience to bring you closer to someone. I mean, happiness, sadness, pain, joy, anger... and to come through it. It makes you stronger, together."  
  
    Castiel thought about his relationship with Dean. It was true, all of the things they'd been through together - the fights, the struggle, the many brushes with death, and now the joy of parenthood, the intensity of love, the intimacy of physical release... all of these things brought him and Dean together.  
  
    "Thank you, Sam," Castiel spoke softly. Sam put a hand on the Angel's shoulder, squeezing it supportively.  
  
    "I know all this human stuff is hard sometimes but," he laughed, "You're doing great. You're family. Jess is crazy about you, Mom thinks you are a literal god-send, and Dean... well, Dean is so in love with you, I don't think I've seen anyone so taken."  
  
    Castiel gave a shy smile, rising to his feet.  
  
    "I feel the same, for all of them," he spoke. Sam got to his feet, clapping his brother-in-law on the the back one more time, and the two returned downstairs to meet up with Jess.  
  
    After emptying their suitcases and putting away their things, Jessica and Sam sat down with Castiel in the kitchen to enjoy a cup of coffee together and talk about their time away. The baby had woken up at this point, and Sam was snuggling and kissing her, as she squealed in delight. At ten minutes to five, the familiar rumble of the Impala's engine could be heard in the driveway, and Sam smiled at the way Castiel turned expectantly in his chair. The trio stood, greeting Dean warmly as he came into the house.  
  
    "Hey, Sammy!" Dean exclaimed, throwing an arm around his brother, kissing the baby in greeting as well. "Jess - welcome back,"  
  
    "Good to be home," she told him with a grin. Dean grinned back, giving a nod of agreement as slid an arm around Cas, giving him a quick kiss on the mouth.  
  
    "How'was your day?"  
  
    "Fine," Castiel replied, blushing slightly. "It got better once Jessica and Sam returned."  
  
    Dean pulled off his jacket and tie as Jessica and Castiel worked to finish dinner. Dean gave a proud, happy smile as Castiel sat the serving bowl on the table, filled with a delicious looking pot roast with vegetables and gravy.  
  
    "Wow, Cas," Sam said, impressed. "Where did you learn to make this?"  
  
    "Good housekeeping," Castiel replied, with a smile. "It was in the recipes section for 'comfort foods'."  
  
    Sam gave Dean a teasing kick under the table, his eyes clearly saying a teasing ‘h _e loves you_ ’. Dean just smirked, tucking a napkin into his shirt.  
  
    The dinner was delicious. Castiel seemed to be able to follow a recipe to the letter. The group had a happy conversation as they ate, and Dean waited until everyone was pleasantly full before telling the story of John Winchester's last visit. Sam was livid and wanted to shout and punch things, but he didn't want to scare the baby or upset Jessica. So he fumed where he sat, angry and grimacing.  
  
    After the emotions settled, Sam and Dean discussed when and how - or if - they should tell their mom. They decided they would wait until after the holidays, possibly ask Bobby how it would be best to break it to her. They agreed that she had to know, that she deserved the chance to confront John about it. But, they wanted it to be after the holidays. They wanted their first Thanksgiving and Christmas together to be in peace.  
  
    The Winchester boys commiserated over their sudden half-sibling for a couple days, but their happiness with their own families dulled the pain. On Friday, the group went shopping to get Sam a few things for his new job, and ultimately, a haircut. Dean filmed the entire thing on his phone, trying his best not to laugh through the process. Jessica gave him plenty of praise for his handsome new style and the glorious reveal of his neck.  
      
    "Sam looks different with shorter hair," Castiel observed, settling under the covers and watching Dean who was still in the bathroom readying himself for bed. “I had almost forgotten that’s what he looked like.” Dean smirked, drying his hands on a towel and snapping off the bathroom light.  
  
    "Yeah, it's a little strange. Now he's all FBI'd up and ready to start on Monday," he crossed the room. "Be right back,"  
  
    Cas leaned back against the headboard, waiting patiently as Dean checked on the baby and returned to the room. He shut the door softly, turning off the overhead light and crawling into bed beside the Angel.  
  
    "Good night, baby," Dean spoke, leaning up to kiss Cas on the mouth.  
  
    "Good night, Dean," Castiel replied, laying down and letting Dean pull him into his arms. Dean leaned his cheek against the Angel's shoulder, instinctively laying a kiss on the side of his neck. Castiel sighed softly, reaching back and running his hand along Dean's thigh. It had been a week since they had even attempted anything slightly romantic, and he was surprised at how much he could miss physical contact - or more specifically, sexual intimacy. It was slightly confusing to him how he could go from never needing sexual release to craving it. Craving Dean.  
  
    "Dean," Castiel breathed, rolling onto his back and bringing a hand to the hunter's cheek. Dean accepted the other man's kiss, pulling Castiel into his arms. Cas moaned, slipping his arms around Dean's neck, and they kissed each other deeply, hungrily. Castiel pulled Dean closer, a whimper escaping him as he pressed in against his husband.  
  
    With reluctance, Dean pulled away.  
  
    "Baby," he whispered gently, before he could continue, Castiel stopped him.  
  
    "Dean please," he spoke in a hushed tone. "I’m better, really. Please just... just love me,"  
  
    "Oh god," Dean groaned, bringing his lips back to the Angel's, letting Castiel help him pull the t-shirt from his torso. Their exchange became more heated, and Castiel sighed in near relief when Dean moved to settle between his thighs. Dean poured a modest amount of lubricant into his palm, biting his lip nervously as he stroked the cool gel over his erection before dropping his hand further. He ran his fingers gently over Castiel's shaft, moving lower to press gently into the smooth stretch of skin just beneath his testicles. Castiel moaned, pushing back, tilting his hips in frustration. Dean continued to massage the area, indirectly stimulating the Angel's prostrate and causing his shaft to weep in response.  
  
    "Dean, please," Castiel sighed, his hands sliding up Dean's back and gripping his shoulders. Dean kissed his husband softly on the mouth, tilting his hips and closing his hand around both of their shafts, thrusting his hips gently as he pumped his fist. "Dean," Cas gasped, confusion and desperate want in his eyes.  
  
    "Move with me, baby," Dean whispered, kissing the Angel hard on the mouth. Cas moaned, and reluctantly began to move, rocking his hips and pressing back into Dean's hand. Dean moved with purpose, trying his best to stimulate Castiel and bring him to a satisfying end. The Angel was groaning and panting, his hips now insistently moving back against Dean, aching for friction and pressure. Dean leaned in close, sliding his hand down to release his own shaft in favor of pumping around Castiel's. The Angel squeezed his eyes shut and his thighs began to tremble, his hands clutching at Dean's arms. Dean continued to kiss Cas' face, his jaw, his neck, pressing their bodies together. The Angel gave a whine of frustration, writhing helplessly under the hunter's attention. Dean varied his touches, his fingers firmly stroking, his palm rolling over the head of Cas' erection before slipping back down to massage the tight sac at its base. "You're so close, baby," Dean murmured, his lips grazing the Angel's ear. "Stop being difficult and let go,"  
  
    Dean expected a reaction, but was surprised by the way Castiel's body tensed even more, and the Angel turned cool blue eyes to him, now wide with indignation.  
  
    "Difficult?" he asked, tersely. Dean licked his lips, a ghost of a smile on his face.  
  
    "Come here, you," he instructed, pulling the Angel close and rolling them over. Castiel gave a huff of irritation, settling over Dean and guiding himself inside the hunter's warmth. Dean grunted, adjusting his position so that Castiel was able to easily sheath himself fully. He ran his hand's over the Angel's sides, breathing steadily as Cas began to move. "Look at me, Cas," he whispered softly, once again earning the attention of those inhumanly blue eyes.  
  
    The crease of annoyance on Castiel's forehead soon smoothed, and he looked down into Dean's face as he thrust languidly into the younger man. The gaze of those green eyes felt a little overwhelming, and Castiel dropped his head to Dean's shoulder.  
  
    "I love you, Dean," he spoke softly, his deep voice a thrum of warm emotion. Dean made a soft gasp from a particularly pleasing roll of the Angel's hips.  
  
    "I know, buddy," he replied.  
  
    It was not long after that both were overcome with release, and they relaxed into each other's arms, kissing and caressing softly. Castiel's fingertips drew soft, random patterns on the hunter's chest, and he spoke quietly.  
  
    "I'm sorry... I was being petulant,"  
  
    Dean brushed his lips against the Angel's forehead, his voice a murmur as he replied.  
  
    "No, _I'm_ sorry," he said simply. "I know that's not what you wanted."  
  
    Cas shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he settled back against his pillow.  
  
    "That's ridiculous, and I know it," he sighed. "Making love to you... in any capacity, is beautiful and wondrous," Dean blushed, feeling a prickle of embarrassment at the Angel's praise. "And I'm grateful to have any contact with you. It's just..."  
  
    "It's not your favorite," Dean grinned, slipping his arm more comfortably under the older man's head and letting him settle against his chest. "I get that Cas. There's a ton of variations, and I get that you have a preference. It's like pie. It's like you wanted cherry and I gave you apple."  
  
    "It's not that," Castiel replied, watching as Dean laced their fingers together. "It's just... it's so much more...intimate.. for me...It makes me feel like..." he sighed, tucking his forehead down against Dean's throat. "like I don't have to be in control... like... like I belong to you..."  
  
    Dean's cheek twitched in a grin, and he brushed his lips over Castiel's wavy hair.  
  
    "It's your favorite," he reiterated. He felt the other man sigh. "No worries, Cas." he told him with a chuckle. Castiel was quiet a moment before speaking again.  
  
    "Do you have a - a favorite, Dean?" he asked quietly. Dean considered the question, thinking back on every sexual experience he had, to the ones that made his blood boil and his brought him to his quickest end. Dean wrapped his free arm around Cas, pulling him in tighter.  
  
    "I guess I do," he replied, grinning in spite of himself. He could feel the Angel shift, trying to look up at his expression.  
  
    "And?" Castiel prompted. Dean licked his lips.  
  
    "Well, I guess we make a good match," he explained. "Because I _prefer_ giving you what you want."  
  
    There was another silent pause before Cas asked.  
  
    "Then why didn't you?" he asked. Dean grimaced.  
  
    "Cas, the doctor said two weeks. It's been one." before the Angel could provide a counter argument, he continued. "And I'm sorry, but I'm going to risk you frowning at me for an extra seven days to not cause you any pain. You'd do the same thing if the tables were turned. Knowing that I hurt you-"  
  
    "I'm fine Dean," Castiel insisted, "You didn't hurt me. It was an accident." he snuggled back down against the younger man's neck, letting him pull him in tightly once again. "I will be patient."  
  
    Dean made a small sound of appreciation, and they grew quiet. Dean absently stroked his finger's through the Angel's hair, letting the soft, wavy strands slip through his fingers. Dean never considered that Castiel, as an Angel and commander and warrior, would want to give that control over to someone he trusted. It made Dean feel even more honored to have the Angel's trust and affection. Castiel said he would be patient, but Dean wondered if he could. He almost gave in tonight, and that scared him a bit. His desire to please his husband warred with his desire to protect him. He was going to have to try to keep temptation at bay. And still being in the overwhelmingly enamored phase of their relationship, temptation was an every moment occurrence.  
  
    Castiel was the first to fall asleep and Dean kept himself wrapped around the cool body at his side. A warm, content feeling hummed through him and he let sleep overtake him. It was starting to become a new, but welcome, habit for Dean Winchester to slip happily into a restful sleep, and he didn't take one second of it for granted.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dean?" the Angel spoke, his voice muffled by his pillow. Dean chuckled, leaning down to lay another kiss on the older man's shoulder as he slipped his hand beneath the fabric of Castiel's flannel sleep pants and squeezed the firm muscle hidden from his view.  
> "Mornin' baby," Dean murmured against Cas's skin, feeling the goosbumps rise on his husband's skin. Castiel turned his head, looking up at Dean through tired, half lidded eyes.  
> "Dean, we've talked about this," he began, his deep voice rough from sleep. "Personal space."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, one more chapter tonight to make up for my lack of updating this week. I did NOT realize how smutty this story was! I apologize for all the smuttiness, but I do not apologize for the rampant fluff. :) I hope you enjoy. Let me know if there is anything horrible off - I recently changed from making the possessive "Cas's" instead of "Cas' ". There may be some I missed. Okay - Enjoy!

    Dean woke up to an empty bed, just as he had most mornings now that Castiel had taken up running with Sam. So he pulled himself up, staggered to the bathroom to empty his bladder and threw on a pair of pants so he could go pick up the baby. He met up with Jessica in the kitchen, and the two shared a cup of coffee while he fed his daughter. As the sun rose, Cas and Sam returned, sweaty and panting, and disappeared to their respective rooms to shower.  
  
    After breakfast, Dean's phone interrupted the casual conversation that was lingering over their empty plates.  
  
    "Mr. Winchester," the familiar, warm voice greeted. Dean grinned, his eyes moving unconsciously to Castiel.  
  
    "Mr. Novak," he returned, leaning back in his seat and absently reaching out to touch the Angel's leg as his plate was taken. "How's the fam?"  
  
    "Good," Jimmy replied, looking over to where his wife and daughter sat side by side at the table, working on a scrapbook. "Yours?"  
  
    "Too good to be true, it seems," He switched the phone to his other ear as Sam dropped the baby in his lap.  
  
    "I know what you mean," Jimmy agreed. Dean ran a hand over his daughter's hair.  
  
    "How's the job?" he asked. He could hear the other man sigh.  
  
    "It's sales. It's a job. The staff is a little narrow minded and self-righteous." he gave a huff of laughter. "I really hope I was never like that."  
  
    "I'm sure you were fine," Dean consoled him. "Just keep fightin' the good fight. It's easier to find a new job when you already got one. Just don't stop looking."  
  
    "Right," Jimmy agreed. "I know. I have faith." Dean smiled softly at the words, his eyes moving back to where Castiel loaded the dishwasher. "So, anyway," Jimmy continued, new energy in his voice. "I was just calling to ask the particulars of your flight so I'm there to pick you up on time."  
  
    "Yeah," Dean held Mary securely, rising from his seat and crossing to the bulletin board that Jessica had put up above a small side table just inside the entryway of the house. She called it the 'family center', and they kept all the important notes, appointment reminders, mail and keys. He ran his finger over the itinerary, finding the flight details. "Continental Airlines, flight 447, arrives Friday night at 8:34 pm - service from Denver. I can email it too you, if you want."  
  
    "I got it," Jimmy muttered, jotting the information down. "I'm sorry you didn't get a direct flight. I hope it's not too inconvenient with the baby - but really, Dean, we're all looking forward to seeing you."  
  
    "It's no big deal," Dean assured him. "We're looking forward to seeing you all too. I'm sorry that we can only stay the couple days-"  
  
    "Nah, nah," Jimmy insisted, waving his hand as if Dean could see him dismiss the remark. "We know that you want to spend Thanksgiving with your mom and Bobby since... since this will be the first one since, you know."  
  
    "Yeah," Dean agreed, giving an amused laugh. "Don't worry Jimmy, one of these day's we'll have a proper family meet-up. Vacation in Florida, Disney World, something like that."  
  
    "Right," Jimmy laughed. "Better get on that before Claire's too teenager to want to be seen with us."  
  
    Dean smirked, but it ended in a sigh as he held his own daughter close.  
  
    "So... any chance we'll be taking any new rugrats with us then?" he asked. Again he could hear the other man sigh, but there was a bit of a laugh to it.  
  
    "No. Not yet. How about you?"  
      
    "I wouldn't even know how we'd know," Dean told him honestly, exhaling heavily. "...trying, though... still trying."  
  
    "I'm praying for you, Dean," Jimmy told him. Dean's jaw tightened a bit, and he nodded absently.  
  
    "Right back 'atcha," he replied.  
  
    The rest of the weekend seemed to fly by, and on Monday morning, Jess and Castiel sent Dean and Sam off to work. It was both exciting and surreal for the brothers, like they were just rollplaying something that they'd rollplayed many times in the past - as if a kid grew up to have a job as a cowboy. And they enjoyed working together. Sam's cubicle was right across from Dean's, and Sam spent a good few minutes teasing his older brother for the picture of Cas on his desk. Dean grumbled and snarked right back, but after it was all said and done, he was grinning.  
  
    On Tuesday night, Dean moved the crib into his and Cas's room so they could set up the nursery as a guest room for Mrs. Winchester. They'd bought a day bed for the space so their mom would be more comfortable during her stay. Jessica and Sam offered to take the fold-out couch in the living room so Bobby could have a room.  
  
    It was great for them to be back together again. Bobby and Mrs. Winchester brought gifts for little Mary, and the mood of the house became quite lively and festive with more people to fawn over the baby.  
  
    On Friday, Dean woke up groggily to his alarm, having went to bed much later than he intended the night before. He had to work, but thankfully only half a day, because he and Cas and the baby had to be on a plane by one o’clock that afternoon. He stretched wearily, turning onto his side and resting his eyes on the Angel at his side. Castiel was asleep on his stomach, the sheet and comforter pulled up around his bare shoulders. As cool as it was getting in the evening, Castiel had taken to sleeping without a shirt because it was warmer to feel Dean's body heat skin to skin. Dean sure as hell wasn’t going to complain.  
  
    The hunter pulled back the coverings, sliding his hand down the smooth expanse of Castiel's muscular back before scooting closer and laying a kiss between his shoulder blades. The Angel stirred, pulling his arms in under himself in an effort to retain some warmth and sleep. Dean grinned, leaning up on his elbow and watching his own hand as it skimmed over the other man's lean muscles and down over the round curve of his butt.  
  
    "Dean?" the Angel spoke, his voice muffled by his pillow. Dean chuckled, leaning down to lay another kiss on the older man's shoulder as he slipped his hand beneath the fabric of Castiel's flannel sleep pants and squeezed the firm muscle hidden from his view.  
  
    "Mornin' baby," Dean murmured against Cas's skin, feeling the goosbumps rise on his husband's skin. Castiel turned his head, looking up at Dean through tired, half lidded eyes.  
  
    "Dean, we've talked about this," he began, his deep voice rough from sleep. " _Personal space_."  
  
    "My apologies," Dean replied, not bothering to move his hand. Castiel's eyes slid closed once again, and he sighed.  
  
    "How long do you have to work today?" he asked. Dean propped his head up on his hand, the other continuing to knead the flesh of the Angel's posterior.  
  
    "Only half a day today," he replied. "I'll be home by ten thirty, so we have to hit the road for the airport pretty soon after that. I packed most of our things last night, so that shouldn't be too much hassle."  
  
    "Mm," Cas agreed, taking a deep breath and pushing himself onto his side. They closed the distance easily, and Dean held the Angel against him for a few moments, placing soft kisses on his cheek and shoulder.  
  
    "What's on your agenda for the day?" Dean asked.  
  
    "Not much," Castiel replied, "Pack the last of the baby's things and I have an appointment at nine with the doctor. Jessica said she would drive me."  
  
    Dean made a sound of acknowledgement.  
  
    "I'm sorry I can't take you, bud," he said, planting a kiss on Cas's head.  
  
    "It's fine," Castiel assured him.  
  
    "Come shower with me," Dean said, rising from the bed and pulling the Angel along with him. Knowing they were on a tight schedule for the day, they dutifully shared the shower for washing only, using water that was probably a little too cool for the season. Castiel dressed quickly in a pair of navy slacks and a grey, long sleeved shirt before taking the baby from the crib. When he arrived downstairs, Sam and Jess had already folded their linens and closed up the sofa bed. Sam was half dressed, missing his jacket and tie, and sat at the table eating a bowl of oatmeal.  
  
    "No run this morning, Cas?" he asked, "I was going to come up and get you, but I wasn't sure..."  
  
    "Sorry Sam," Castiel replied. "I didn't mean to forget,"  
  
    "Nah, you have a lot on your mind," Sam dismissed the apology. "We'll get back on schedule after - well, after the holidays are over, probably."  
  
    It was only a matter of minutes before the kitchen was full and breakfast was served, and Sam and Dean pulled on jackets to head off to work. Castiel followed Dean to the door, letting him kiss the baby before he left. Dean kissed the Angel as well, whispering a quick 'I love you' before heading out the door.  
  
    At eight thirty, Cas left baby Mary with her grandmother and Bobby, and he and Jess drove for the doctor's office in town.  
  
    "You seem nervous," Jessica observed, "Everything okay?"  
  
    "I think so," Castiel replied, trying not to fidget with the hem of his coat. "It's just... becoming human, as much as I don't mind if it means living a real life with Dean, comes with a lot of situations that are sometimes... awkward or... uncomfortable." he sighed. "I just want to fit in."  
  
    Jessica reached over and patted the Angel on the leg.  
  
    "Dean loves you just the way you are," she told him, with a comforting smile. Castiel tried to return the expression, but it came off as a grimace.  
  
    "That concerns me as well," he admitted. "When I finally adapt and assimilate-"  
  
    "He'll still love you," Jess replied before he could finish. Cas turned to her, and she glanced to him, trying to keep her eyes on the road. This was a young women who loved Sam at a fairly innocent time in his life, only to still love him after trials, pain, and misfortune changed him.  
  
    "Sam is lucky to have you," he told her. Jessica grinned.  
  
    "Both our boys are lucky," she replied. Cas couldn't help but smile faintly in return. If he hadn't known Jessica was a human, he would definitely have counted her among his angelic brethren.  
  
    After they parked in the clinic lot, Jess took Castiel's hand as they walked inside, helping him sign in and pay his co-pay before they sat in the lobby. When she noticed he began to fidget as time ticked on, she squeezed his hand tighter. When he was called in by the nurse, the blonde gave him a warm smile as a send off.  
  
    "How are you doing today, Mr. Winchester?" the young nurse asked. Castiel rubbed a hand over his neck.  
  
    "Fine. Much better."  
  
    The nurse smiled at the response, before taking his vitals and asking a slew of symptom related questions. Before she left, as he feared, she handed him a pale green gown and said:  
  
    "Undress completely from the waist down and the doctor will be in shortly."  
  
    Castiel sighed, toeing off his shoes. Part of him wished Dean was there, but the other part of him was glad he wasn't. After pulling off jeans and boxers, Cas donned the gown and folded his belonging before settling on the crinkly paper covering the table. He sat quietly for what seemed like an hour, but was only ten minutes, before there was a knock on the door.  
  
    "Good afternoon," Dr. Stewart greeted, carrying her laptop into the room and shutting the door behind her. "How are you today?"  
  
    "Very well," Castiel replied. The doctor smiled and nodded.  
  
    "Good, good. No husband or baby with you today?"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "My daughter is at home with her grandmother," he replied. "My husband had to work. My... my sister-in-law brought me."  
      
    "You don't drive?" the doctor asked, interested, as she sat her laptop down on the counter.  
  
    "Not yet." he replied. "My husband took me to get my permit, but I'm afraid to drive his car. It's his favorite thing, and I don't want to damage it."  
  
    The doctor smirked, putting the stethoscope in her ears.  
  
    "I'm pretty sure, with the way he looks at you, that you're his favorite thing. Cars can be replaced."  
  
    Cas smiled shyly, looking away. He took a deep breath as instructed.  
  
    "Have you taken all of your antibiotics?" she asked. Castiel nodded in reply. "How did the ointment work?"  
  
    "Very well. I'm feeling much better."  
  
    "Good," Dr. Stewart replied. "Were you able to avoid penetration for the last two weeks."  
  
    Castiel grimaced, nodding.  
  
    "Dean was very obedient."  
  
    The doctor gave an amused snort at his response. Castiel frowned as he watched her put on a pair of gloves.  
  
    "Turn onto your side," she instructed. "I just want to see how well you've healed."  
  
    Cas took a deep breath, his eyes rolling slightly in exasperation. He was pretty sure that he was completely fine, but Dean was expecting a doctor's opinion before believing it. He frowned at feeling of hand's on his backside, and a blush crept into his face.  
  
    "It looks completely healed. That's a good sign," the doctor told him.  
  
    Cas made a small, awkward sound of agreement. How humans could touch each other in such places when they were strangers was bizarre to him. And it was equally odd, as kind as this doctor was, that Castiel absolutely didn’t want her touching him, but he wanted Dean to touch him in every way imaginable.  
  
    "All done. Everything looks completely healed." Dr. Stewart said, discarding her gloves. "You can resume sexual activity without restriction. Just stick to simple, water based or silicone based lubricants. Have you never had an allergic reaction to oil based lubricant before?"  
  
    Cas shook his head.  
  
    "I've never... used it before," he replied. "Dean... I've... never known another." The doctor smiled warmly at him.  
  
    "How long have you been married?" she asked.  
  
    "Four weeks tomorrow," he replied. Her smiled broadened and she reached out to give him a supportive pat on the knee.  
  
    "Well, have a happy anniversary tomorrow," she told him. "Come back if you have a recurrence or any other issues, okay? Have a good day, Mr. Winchester."  
  
    Once he was left alone, Castiel redressed before returning to the lobby. Jessica grinned at him, standing as he approached.  
  
    "What did she say?" she asked, linking her arm through his and leading him out into the parking lot.  
  
    "She said I was better," he replied. He stopped in front of the car, looking down at the young woman. "Jessica... anniversaries are important to humans, correct?"  
  
    Jessica grinned broadly.  
  
    "Tomorrow is your one month anniversary, isn't it?" she asked. Castiel blushed, smiling shyly for some reason he couldn't quite explain. He had been Dean's husband for an entire month. And it had been glorious. Jessica squeezed his hand. "Let's do a little shopping then, shall we?" she asked.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
    At just a few minutes after half past ten, Dean pulled into the driveway and jogged up the drive to the house. As soon as he stepped inside, he was greeted was the sounds of a lively, happy household. It made him smile.  
  
    "Welcome back, boy," Bobby greeted the elder Winchester. Bobby was setting on the sofa, holding the baby. The little girl giggled and squealed upon seeing her father, and Dean leaned over the couch to kiss the baby on the top of her head.  
  
    "Hey gramps," Dean returned, patting the man on the back as he turned to the kitchen where the rest of the household was. He kissed his mom on the cheek as he passed through. "I'm going to go up and change and then we can get this show on the road," he spoke to Castiel.  
  
    The Angel's brow furrowed.  
  
    "You need to eat lunch," he told the hunter.  
  
    "No time, babe," he replied, edging toward the stairs. "We have to be at the airport an hour or so before the flight, so we got to get a move on."  
  
    "But, I made this..." Cas held out a plate with a slice of cherry pie. Dean paused, letting the Angel pick up a forkful and feed it to him. Dean's eye's closed momentarily and he made a small groan.  
  
    "Bring that with us," he instructed, turning back toward the staircase and took the stairs two at a time, pulling off his jacket and tie as he went. Dean grinned at the clothes laid out on the bed, wondering if it had been Cas or his mother that had done it. He changed quickly, pulling on the relaxed blue jeans, t-shirt and flannel overshirt before pulling on a pair of socks and dashing back downstairs. "Where's the luggage?" he asked Sam.  
  
    "Already in the car," Sam assured him, chuckling as his brother took the plate back from the Angel and continued to eat the pie.  
  
    "Awesome," Dean groaned again, turning to the Angel. "This is awesome," Castiel smiled happily. "Alright," Dean exclaimed, crossing to lay the empty plate in the sink. "Let's get to it."  
  
    Gathering into two cars, they drove as quickly as possible to the airport, and Jessica checked them in while Sam and Dean took the bags from the car. Dean checked the luggage, which consisted of two suitcases and a travel crib, and lugged their carryon bag and the car seat to the security station.  
  
    "Call the moment you land," Mrs. Winchester told her oldest son, pulling him down to kiss his face.  
  
    "In Illinois or Colorado?" Dean laughed. Mrs. Winchester pressed her hands to his face.  
  
    "Both," she replied seriously.  
  
    The group quickly hugged each other goodbye, Sam and Bobby giving extra kisses to the baby. Sam hugged his brother one last time and the four watched as Castiel and Dean took off their shoes and sent their belongings through the x-ray machine. They handed the baby off to each other as they moved through the metal detector. Once on the other side, they waved to their family and moved to retrieve their items, put on their shoes, and get in line to board the plane.  
  
    As families with small children were the first to board, Dean and Cas didn't have to wait long. Castiel looked around the inside of the airplane, a look of near disgust on his face.  
  
    "Don't start," Dean grumbled, pushing their carryon under the seat and locking the car seat into the middle seat between his and his husband's.  
  
    "I didn't say anything," Castiel replied, but the tone of his voice belied that he wanted to.  
  
    "Just get in there," Dean said, taking the baby and motioning Cas toward the window seat. Once the Angel was seated, Dean put the baby in the car seat and strapped her in. Mary giggled and cooed, grabbing on the Cas's fingers and he lay a hand soothingly on her belly. Dean settled into the isle seat, shifting uncomfortably and taking a breath. Castiel narrowed his eyes at him.  
  
    "Are you alright, Dean?" he asked. Dean grimaced, glancing distractedly at the other passengers as they moved past.  
  
    "Yeah, fine," he replied, shifting again. The Angel watched him a moment before reaching over and laying a hand gently on the hunters arm. Dean turned to him.  
  
    Castiel didn't need to speak. His eyes spoke volumes.  
  
   _I'm here for you Dean._  
  
    Dean sighed, giving a Angel a soft smile, but when the fasten seat belt sign lit up and the plane began to move away on the tarmac, Dean closed his eyes and fought the urge to throw up.  
  
    The short flight from California to Colorado was rather uneventful. Mary began to whimper when the plane had initially reached altitude, but Castiel soothed her, and Dean carried her back and forth down the isle when they were allowed to move around the cabin.  
  
    After a short layover in Denver, they boarded the longer, and equally uneventful flight to Bloomington, Illinois. Even as uneventful as the flight was, both men were exhausted when the plane began to unload. Castiel placed the sleeping baby against his shoulder, waiting for Dean to unfasten the car seat and pull the carryon bag from the floor. Dean let Castiel out first and they followed the queue out into the airport.  
  
    Dean couldn't help but shake his head and grin at the man waiting outside the terminal, a wide smile on his face - a face that looked oddly like his Angel's, but nothing like it at the same time.  
  
    "Welcome to Illinois," Jimmy greeted, holding out his arms and embracing Castiel before hugging Dean as well. "How was the flight?"  
  
    "Long," Dean replied, letting the older man take the carseat from his hands. " _Long_."  
  
    "Are you guys hungry?" Jimmy asked, looking from one to the other. "Amelia is keeping supper warm for you." he smiled, pausing a moment to touch the cheek of the sleeping baby. "Gosh, she's beautiful." Castiel hugged the baby tighter, pleased with how universally loved his child was.  
  
    After picking up the luggage and getting in the car, they made the short trip from Bloomington to Pontiac, arriving at the Novak home twenty minutes past nine. Amelia and Claire were waiting for them.  
  
    "Welcome," Amelia said warmly, smiling at Dean and Castiel as they entered the house. "You both look exhausted."  
  
    "Slightly," Dean replied, accepting her hug.  
  
    "Hello, Castiel," Amelia said to the Angel, a slight discomfort between both of them. It was still odd for her to see this man with her husband’s face, and Cas still felt guilt for what he had put her family through.    
  
    "Amelia," he said. "Thank you for having us."  
  
    "We're happy to," she assured him.  
  
    "Can I hold the baby?" Claire asked, looking hopefully up at her parents.  
      
    "Of course!" Dean assured her, taking the baby from his husband's arms. "Let's go sit on the sofa together, huh?"  
  
    Claire smiled understandingly at him, following him to the living room. Dean settled at the pre-teen's side, letting her hold the sleeping baby in her arms. Castiel could see how tired Dean was, but he didn't comment.  
  
    Jimmy sent his daughter to bed after a few minutes, as it was already past her bedtime and he knew Dean was probably starving and ready to go to bed himself. As Amelia went to see their daughter to her room, Jimmy showed Cas and Dean to the room they would be staying in so they could set up the crib for their sleeping baby. When the infant was settled, they returned to the dining room and settled at the table.  
  
    "This is awfully nice of you, Amelia," Dean told Mrs. Novak as she set a plate before both him and Cas. "You didn't have to keep something ready."  
  
    "Please," she said dismissively, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "You're our guests."  
  
    Dean grinned, pulling his plate closer and digging in to the warm, cheesy chicken casserole. The sound he made after the first bite was not quite as enthusiastic as his sounds for pie, but it was clearly appreciated. Castiel ate in silence, listening to the conversation that his husband and former vessel began soon after.  
  
    "So, after breakfast tomorrow," Jimmy was saying. "We're going to the Pontiac-Oakland Car Museum,"  
  
    "Nice," Dean commented around a mouthful of food. Jimmy smiled and nodded.  
  
    "I know, right?" Jimmy replied. "So, after that we'll have lunch in town. We'll come back here, let the baby have a nap, then we'll go to my parent's house for supper."  
  
    "Sounds good," Dean agreed, turning an eye to his Angel. Castiel was politely eating, and Dean gave him a sympathetic smile. He turned back to Jimmy. "So, I know your mom is cool with all this, but uh, I know your dad probably isn't too keen..."  
  
    Jimmy grinned sheepishly, shrugging as he set back in his chair.  
  
    "My father is actually away on business this weekend. So... it'll be okay." he turned to Castiel. "My mother really wants to meet you. She wants you to feel like you have family."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed slightly and he tilted his head to the side.  
  
    "I have family," he replied. Dean choked on the mouthful of food he had, and he coughed a moment before speaking.  
  
    "I think he means that she wants you to know _she_ feels that you're family," he explained to the Angel. "It's nice. She's been really good to us."  
  
    "I agree," Castiel insisted, turning to Jimmy. "Please do not take my statement as refusal of her sentiment. I was merely confused by the semantics. I am honored that your mother has extended her affection for this vessel unto my spirit."  
  
    Jimmy tried not to smirk as he noticed Dean also turned his face down and away from Cas's gaze.  
  
    "Of course," Jimmy replied with a nod. "My mom is a little sentimental over that body, I'm sure, but she cares about you as a person Castiel. You'll see."      
  
    "We'll all be seeing very soon," Amelia spoke, rising from the table. Even with Castiel's limited exposure to all of the minutiae of human interactions, he knew that this was instruction as he watched the way both Jimmy and Dean lifted their plates so she could gather them. He wasn't bothered, he wasn't hungry today anyway. "Do you two need anything before you turn in?" Amelia continued, taking Castiel's plate next. "There is an extra blanket in the armoire if it's too cold -we have the thermostat set at 78."  
      
    "We'll be fine," Dean assured her, standing. "After the cold of the airplane, even this Midwest winter weather seems a little tropical."  
  
    "Well, if you need anything," Jimmy told them as he walked with Dean and Cas to the hall. "We're the first door on the left at the top of the stairs."  
  
    "We're fine," Dean assured again, accepting Jimmy's embrace without question. "Good night, man. See you at 7am."  
  
    "Good night," he returned. "Good night, Cas,"  
  
    Castiel nodded, following Dean to the guest room they would be sharing while with the Novaks. Mary was still sleeping contentedly in her playpen, and Castiel leaned down to gently touch her back before turning to join Dean in the bathroom. The hunter gave a small grin, moving aside to give Castiel room at the vanity and they were quiet as they readied themselves for bed. Dean watched Cas closely, feeling there was something beyond the Angel's silence that was more than the jet lag he was feeling.  
  
    "What's on your mind, Cas?" he asked, wiping the water from his face with a towel as he turned to his spouse. "You seem a little... distracted."  
  
    "I'm fine," Castiel assured him. "I just..." he shrugged, pulling on the T-shirt Dean handed him. "I don't know if it's my place to say anything."  
  
    Dean's expression became serious and he turned completely to face the other man.  
  
    "What?" he asked. Castiel seemed to debate with himself a moment before sighing.  
  
    "It's nothing bad," he insisted. "It's just... none of my business. I only came to know accidentally."  
  
    "Cas," Dean began. His tone didn't require additional wording. Castiel leaned against the sink, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
    "Amelia is with child," he said evenly. Dean's eyebrows raised in surprise. Cas continued. "It feels relatively new. It's possible she does not even know. So I ... I feel uncomfortable speaking of it."  
  
    "Wow," Dean breathed, running a hand through his hair as a smile broke out on his face. "Jimmy Novak, you dog..."  
  
    Castiel's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to the side. Dean shook his head.  
  
    "It's an expression," he explained. "Because dogs... dogs are prolific breeders..."  
  
    "Ah," Cas replied, but his expression remained confused. "I would hardly call one child and a zygote 'prolific'..."  
  
    "Get in bed, Angel," Dean grumbled without conviction as he snapped off the bathroom light and followed his husband back into the bedroom. Dean also took a moment to check on the baby before he retrieved the extra blanket from the armoire and lay it out over the bed. Castiel looked intrigued. "Just in case," Dean told him, slipping under the covers at his side. He heard Cas's soft sound of acknowledgement as he turned off the light. As was becoming his custom, Dean pulled in close behind the Angel and slipped an arm around his waist. Closing his eyes, he leaned his forehead against the back of Castiel's skull, deeply breathing in the warm, clean scent of his hair before nuzzling against the back of his neck. It occurred to him that Jimmy's news may be a small source of unpleasant reminders for the Angel, as they were still no closer, that they knew of, of increasing their own family. "You okay?" Dean murmured, giving Cas a reassuring squeeze. He could hear the Angel sigh.  
  
    "Yes, I'm okay." he replied, his voice deep but quiet in the dim room. "I'm just wondering if the baby will be affected by the temperature change. The doctor mentioned that the difference between California and the Midwest this time of year may produce a cold."  
  
    Dean gently pushed back the hair over Cas's ear and kiss him on the cheek before settling back behind him.  
  
    "Well, let's hope she's fine. But we can handle a cold." the hunter gave a huff of amusement at the memory he entertained. "I've nursed Sammy through plenty of colds. I'm an expert."  
  
    Cas made a noncommittal sound of reply, thinking it best not to voice his feelings on Dean nursing Sam through childhood illness. Instead, he let Dean pull him in tightly, and savoring the other man's warmth. Dean contemplated Castiel's reply for a moment, pondering the total truth in his words, but soon found himself in a deep sleep. He had a feeling he dreamed about babies, and there was something that nagged him awake after a couple hours of sleep. He pushed an arm out across the bed and was surprised to find it empty. Before he could react to turn on the light, he was met by Castiel's deep, even tone in the dark.  
  
    "I'm here, Dean,"  
  
    The hunter leaned over to turn on the bedside lamp, casting a soft glow around the room. Castiel was standing at the end of the bed, gently rocking the baby in his arms.  
  
    "She was fussing," he told Dean, his hands holding the infant securely against his chest. "I hope I didn't wake you."  
  
    "No, I didn't even realize you were up," Dean replied, motioning the Angel close. "Bring her over here."  
  
    Castiel moved back to his side of the bed, gently settling onto the mattress beside Dean. The hunter scooted in closer, peering down at the infant in the Angel's arms. Mary was squirming, tiny sad noises of displeasure escaping her as she fought sleep. Dean gently ran his fingertips over her cheek.  
  
    "C'mon sweetheart." he said soothingly. "Don't be grumpy because we're not at home."  
   
    "It took her several days to get used to our new home after Bobby's," Castiel commented. "It seems she is not please with interruptions to her routine."  
  
    "Can't blame her," Dean remarked, leaning over to kiss the baby on her forehead. "Here," he pulled off his T-shirt and sat it aside, "Give her to me."  
  
    Cas carefully turned the baby over to her other father, watching the younger man hold her gently against him. Dean had read in a baby book that newborns and infants preferred the comfort of skin to skin contact, and their demi-angel was no exception. Castiel watched quietly as Dean soothed the child, shh'ing her tiny sounds of unhappiness. A small smile came to the Angel's lips as he watched the baby slowly settle, finding comfort against the warmth of Dean's skin. Yes, Dean had that affect on him too. Dean was 'home'.  
  
    After a few moments of being certain she was asleep, Dean slowly rose from the bed and placed his daughter in her crib.  
  
    "Have you even been asleep yet?" he asked Cas. The Angel shook his head.  
  
    "I'm not tired tonight," he admitted. Dean grimaced unhappily. Castiel's mojo was wildly inconsistent, as much as they had decided it was probably for the best for him to act as though he were already completely human, sleep was the one thing he couldn't seem to fake. But he did look tired, even if he didn't feel it.  
  
    "Hm," Dean commented, turning to move into the bathroom. He returned in a few moments and settled back on his side of the bed. He picked up his phone, checking the time. "Huh, it's only 4am." he turned to the Angel. "You sure you can't close your eyes for a bit and rest?"  
  
    "I can try," Castiel replied, sighing wearily. "I don't know if it will work." he paused for a moment, looking to Dean with a hesitant expression. "Today... is our anniversary."  
  
    One corner of Dean's mouth pulled up in a smirking smile and he nodded.  
  
    "Yeah, I know," he replied. Castiel blushed lightly and looked down at where Dean's hand covered his.  
  
    "I know it's only one month, and human's usually don't celebrate this particular milestone..."  
  
    "I'm happy for every day we get," Dean told him, leaning over to give the Angel a quick kiss on the mouth. His hand came up to touch Castiel's cheek. "You really are the best thing that ever happened in my life. You and Mary."  
  
    Castiel smiled, looking back to the travel crib where the infant lay sleeping.  
  
    "I feel the same about you Dean," he spoke. "I am... so overwhelmingly in love with you..." Dean couldn't help that his smile widened at the admission. "And I... I don't know if this was necessary," Castiel continued. "But, I bought you an anniversary gift..."  
  
    "You did?" Dean laughed, watching the Angel move to one of their suitcases and rummage in a pocket. He returned to the bed, holding out a box that was about 5x5 inches square. Dean looked down, impressed, at the prettily wrapped package.  
  
    "Jessica helped me..." Cas admitted. Dean grinned.  
  
    "Thank you, baby," he murmured before turning to the small card atop the box. There were only a couple of words written inside, in the Enochian language. Dean recognized the words from the love notes his husband tucked into his lunch on occasion, and knew it to say ‘ _with love, Castiel_ ’. He pulled the ribbon loose, peeling back the paper and opening the lid of the blue box. Inside, was a black leather wallet.  
  
    "I noticed yours was already rather worn," Castiel commented as he watched Dean open the wallet and examine the space inside. "Yours probably has sentimental value, though, so I understand if-"  
  
    "I love it," Dean interrupted, looking at the picture of Mary that was already inside the new wallet. The truth was, the old billfold that Dean had been carrying around for years without replacing held no sentimental value, and the only reason he had it for so long was that he wouldn’t have thought to replace it unless it was falling apart. Which always makes new ones, particularly one like this - of supple leather and tight stitching - such great gift. "Thanks, Cas,"  
  
    Castiel smiled warmly, closing his eyes as Dean leaned in for another kiss.  
  
    "You're welcome," he said, softly. Dean gave him one last peck before rising from the bed.  
  
    "As it happens," he commented, squatting down next to the suitcase and pulling out a plastic bag. "I, uh, I got you something too."  
  
    Castiel's face lit up with joy and he smiled, his eyes following Dean back to the bed. Dean gave a nervous sort of laugh.  
  
    "It's not much, but... I wanted to give you something you'd have a use for." he handed Castiel the bag, and the Angel held it reverently in his hands for a moment.  
  
    "This is," he began slowly, "the very first gift I have ever been given."  
  
    Dean grimaced, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.  
  
    "If I'd have known that, I'd have wrapped it nicer..." he said, sheepishly. Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "It's perfect," he replied, taking the shiny blue gift bag out of the plastic one emblazoned with red bulls-eyes. The small card tag simply read "Cas", but it was in Dean's familiar writing and might as well been a poem proclaiming undying love. Dean bit his lip as he watched Cas open the bag and pull out the items it contained.  
  
    "They're shirts," Dean told him, watching the Angel unfold the soft cotton garments. "For running in. I know you don't have a ton of stuff yet, and I know you've really taken to running with Sam, so..." his voice trailed off.  
  
    Castiel's eyes roamed over the garments, the first light grey and bearing the name of one of Dean's favorite metal bands, the second was royal blue with the logo for a comic book superhero, the third was deep black with the same brand logo that was affixed to Dean's car. Cas smiled at the shirts. These were perfect for his runs with Sam, because it would be like having Dean with him as well. He looked up at the hunter.  
  
    "I love you," he said, the word holding more than just the sentiment, but his gratitude as well.  
  
    Dean grinned happily, leaning back in to kiss the Angel deeply.  
  
    "Happy anniversary, babe," Dean spoke, before setting up and pulling his old wallet from the bedside table. Castiel neatly folded his new shirts, watching as Dean took the items out of one wallet and placed them in the new one. A pleasant blush crept up the Angel's throat as he noticed that one of the pictures in Dean's old wallet was one of him. He continued to grin, rising from the bed and placing the new clothing neatly in the suitcase. Dean put his old wallet in the box the new one came in and tucked it back into the pocket Cas has pulled it from. Dean had a pleasant warmth of happiness buzzing through him. His life with Castiel could be more fulfilling. He was finally getting everything he wanted. Certainly it was worth any sadness he'd suffered before.  
  
    "Hey Cas," Dean spoke, sliding his hands around Castiel's hips and slipped his arms around his waist. Castiel tilted his head to the side, looking curiously back at his husband.  
  
    "Yes?"  
  
    Dean smiled, pressing his lips to the Angel's exposed neck.  
  
    "You know... it's only four in the morning... pointless to go back to sleep really..."  
  
    Castiel raised an eyebrow, his hands closing over Dean's.  
  
    "Oh?" he asked. Dean made a soft sound in reply.  
  
    "You, uh... you in the mood for... you know," he spoke quietly. "You want to have sex?"  
  
    Castiel pulled away just slightly in order to turn himself in Dean's arms. He didn't reply in words, but brought his lips to Dean's and kissed him slowly, deeply. Dean moaned against the Angel's mouth, pulling him in closer.  
  
    "Is that a yes?" Dean asked with a grin when they broke apart. Castiel smiled softly, nodding his head.  
  
    "It's a yes," he agreed. Dean smiled wider.  
  
    "Good man," he spoke, pulling the Angel in for another kiss. They stood for several long moments, enjoying the closeness and intimacy of holding each other and kissing deeply. Dean pushed his hands up under Castiel's shirt, his hands running up the length of hard muscle of the Angel's torso. They parted briefly enough for Dean to pull the shirt over Cas's head before he turned his attention to the other man's throat. Castiel moaned softly, his hands roaming over Dean's back before delving his fingers into his soft, brown hair.  
  
    Dean pulled away, licking his lips.  
  
    "Go lay down," he instructed, giving the Angel a playful slap on the ass as he turned. Castiel pulled back the covers, settling back on his pillow as he watched Dean rummage through the suitcase for the lubricant. Once found, Dean stood and gave Cas a grin and a wag of his eyebrows as he returned to the bed, crawling up the length to settle at the Angel's side. He dropped the bottle on the mattress, and turned his attention to kissing and caressing the bare skin of Castiel's chest and abdomen. Cas squirmed slightly, his flesh reacting instinctively to Dean's attention.  
  
    "Dean," he moaned, breathlessly, his hand stroking the hunter's shoulders as it was the only part of him he could reach as the younger man was winding his tongue along the sharp, taut muscle low on Castiel's abdomen.  
  
    "Foreplay, baby," Dean murmured before getting to his knees and settling between Castiel's thighs. The Angel lifted his hips to assist Dean in removing his pajama pants, and Dean smiled at the flush of desire that colored the Angel's body. Castiel's shaft was already rigid and heavy against his abdomen. Dean slid his hands over the Angel's hips, his fingers trailing down the soft line of hair beneath Cas's navel, before he closed his fingers around the smooth steel of his erection and gave several soft strokes. Castiel groaned, closing his eyes and spreading his thighs wider, offering himself to Dean.    
  
    Dean knew what he wanted. It was exactly what Dean wanted to give him. He reached over, grabbing his t-shirt from the side of the bed and folding it once lengthwise.  
  
    "Up, just a bit babe," he instructed, sliding the fabric beneath Cas's hips once he did as asked. Castiel didn't bother inquiring as the reason behind the request as Dean murmured: “Just in case...”  
  
    Dean retrieved the bottle of lubricant, spreading a portion on his fingers before dropping the bottle back onto the bed. He gave Cas another wag of his brows, smiling seductively as he slid one hand up the back of the Angel's thigh, scooting close enough so that the older man had no choice but to spread his legs wider to allow Dean room.  
  
    "That's nice," Dean murmured, dropping his slick fingers to drag the soft pads of his fingertips over Castiel's opening. The Angel moaned, his hand's threading into his hair as he watched the hunter through half-lidded eyes. Dean licked his lips, watching his fingers as he circled them around the tight ring of muscle, spreading the shiny, clear lubricant. "God Cas," Dean spoke heavily. "You're so fucking hot."  
  
    Castiel made a sound akin to a whimper, and Dean raised his eyes to look at him.  
  
    "You good? This alright?" he asked. Castiel nodded, his hips twisting shamelessly toward Dean's hand, and the hunter rewarded his patience by slowly sinking a finger inside him. Castiel groaned, his eyes fluttering closed and his lips parting as he concentrated on the feeling of Dean's finger sliding in and out of him, spreading the lubricant along the walls of his passage. Dean added a second finger to his ministrations, pressing deep into Castiel's warmth and stroking up against his throbbing prostate. Castiel hissed and grunted, the hand in his hair now twisting into the chestnut waves. "You alright?" Dean asked again, pausing in his movement to check in with the other man.  
  
    "Dean," Cas gasped, his breathing deep and heavy as he replied. "Please don't tease me. I... I want you... badly."  
  
    Dean withdrew his hand, pushing his pajama pants down his thighs and pouring another measure of lubricant into his hand and spreading it across his shaft. He leaned down over the Angel, keeping his weight on one arm as he looked down between them to where he pressed the head of his erection to Castiel's tight, but ready opening. Castiel slipped his arms around Dean, his hand stroking down over the hunter's hair and the back of his neck, but his movement paused when Dean's erection spread him open and pressed insistently inside. Cas moaned softly - how he'd missed the intimacy of having Dean inside of him.  
  
    "How's that, baby?" Dean murmured against the Angel's ear as he began to thrust lazily into the tight heat surrounding his shaft.  
  
    "I love you," Castiel replied, pulling Dean in for a kiss. Dean chuckled, wiping his hand on the t-shirt before bringing his palms over Cas's biceps. They moved together slowly, kissing deeply, looking into each other's eyes when their lips would part. Dean had to admit, he missed the connection of making love like this - and there was so much vulnerability in the Angel's face when he allowed Dean to take him. So much overwhelming emotion in the wide blue eyes looking back at him.  
  
    Dean moved with purpose, only having needed two or three times with the Angel to know how deep, how fast - or in his case, how slow - and at what angle to best please his husband. Castiel's body felt so amazing under his, hard muscle under soft skin, and tight, wet heat gripping his shaft. The small moans and soft sighs of pleasure were more erotic than anything Dean had ever heard - that he could cause such a response in another man, and an Angel at that, was quite a bit of an ego boost. And it only made him work harder.  
  
    Dean could tell when Castiel's concentration on kissing began to slip and his body pressed more insistently back, that he was nearing his end. Dean slid a hand down Cas's side, laying it flat over his hip and holding him still. Castiel moaned, his knees hitching higher against Dean's ribs. Dean grinned, kissing softly along the stubble on Cas's jaw. He could feel the tension slowly coiling in the Angel's limbs, and a pleasant wave of satisfaction spread through him at the idea of knowing the Angel's orgasm cues. The impossibly strong, commander of heaven was coming undone beneath him, driven to erotic release by the rhythmic pull and slide of Dean Winchester's cock. If you'd have told him a year ago that he'd devote half a night to the slow burn of Castiel's satisfaction, he probably would have ganked you without question. But here he was, containing his own physical desires to coax his lover to the edge of bliss.  
  
    Castiel's neck was arched, his head pressed into the pillow and Dean's name falling in breathy moans from his lips. The sound alone traveled like lightning down Dean's body and straight to his shaft. He groaned, dropping his head to Castiel's shoulder and continuing to thrust in deep, even strokes.  
  
    "I gotcha', baby," Dean whispered deeply against the Angel's ear, "I gotcha',"  
  
    Castiel gave a huff of amusement. He was so close to the brink of orgasm, but Dean's slow rhythm and coy words were prolonging the build-up.  
  
    "Please, Dean," he breathed, but it was followed by a low groan as the hunter pressed firmly inside him.  
  
    Dean pulled Castiel close, kissing the Angel's face as he shuddered with release. Dean's end followed shortly thereafter, just as much from relief as satisfaction. He could feel Castiel relax into the mattress, but Dean stay laying over him as he waited for the beating of his heart to slow. Castiel was pressing soft, sweet kisses to his jaw and neck, and Dean gave a happy sigh.  
  
    "I love you, Dean," Cas told him, the dreamy, blissful expression of a man who just got exactly what he'd been thinking about for weeks smeared across his face. "I love you."  
  
    "You're welcome," Dean chuckled, reaching toward the nightstand for some tissue before bringing his his hand between them and carefully withdrawing himself from the other man's body. He used the tissue to clean himself off and wipe the smear of semen and lube from Castiel's skin before dropping to his side. Both men lay, breathing still heavy, staring at the ceiling. As a long moment of silence stretched out between them, Dean found himself compelled to do something he'd swore he'd never do after sex: ask about feelings. "What's on your mind?" he asked the Angel.  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath, threading his fingers with Dean's offered hand.  
  
    "I'm wondering if sex is amazing because it is, or if it is because I love you so much," he replied. "Because, I would say that my love for you strengths daily, and the physical and emotional satisfaction I receive from sexual intimacy has also been compounded."  
  
    "We should run more tests," Dean advised. "To confirm the theory,"  
  
    Castiel grinned, looking up at Dean.  
  
    "I'd be happy to assist,"  
  
    Dean chuckled, leaning in to kiss Castiel breathless once more. He was happy that Castiel's thoughts weren't melancholy, for Dean was acutely aware that Cas was probably wondering if Dean were wishing hard enough for children when they were together - since he knew Cas was wishing it, and it hadn't happened yet.  
  
    "Don't think that Dean," Castiel spoke softly, pulling Dean from his internal monologue. Dean's brows drew together and he looked down into the Angel's wide blue eyes. Castiel's expression was sympathetic. "I don't doubt your affection. I don't doubt your word to me - not ever. I may not have all my Angel powers, but I can still read the emotions in your heart. I know you want more children not only for yourself, but for my happiness as well."  
  
    "Cas," Dean spoke, but the older man brought a finger to his lips.  
  
    "It's not just will," Castiel admitted calmly, resting his head on Dean's shoulder. "It's timing. And not _our_ timing... not _our_ will..."  
  
    Dean smoothed the hair back off of the Angel's forehead, pressing a kiss there.  
  
    "I just didn't want you to be sad, because it's harder for us, it seems." Dean replied. He could hear Cas's soft sigh.  
  
    " _Seems_ ," he repeated, "It took Jimmy and Amelia almost thirteen years for their second. I will have patience."  
  
    Dean nodded, and the Angel yawned widely. Dean raised a brow, watching his husband as he slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
    "Happy anniversary, baby," he murmured, kissing him one last time.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel looked both grim and apologetic, which made Dean's eyebrows raise.  
> "Are you upset with me?" Castiel asked, pausing in his pacing but continued to rock the baby. Dean tilted his head to the side, setting down on the bed and pulling off his shoes.  
> "Why would I be upset?" he asked. Castiel grimaced.  
> "Upon reflection, I can see how my actions were..." he searched for a phrase as he lay the baby gently in her crib. He turned back to his husband. "humanly inappropriate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired, but I wanted to post this. I hope you enjoy. :)

    Dean lay entwined with the sleeping Angel for ten or so minutes before pulling himself from the bed and working on getting dressed. Knowing that he had a couple hours to kill before the rest of the house was up, he took the opportunity to relax in a tub of hot water, watching the moonlight through the small window in the shower. Tiny flecks of snow drifted past every now and then, and Dean watched them without thought.  
  
    He was happy. Perfectly happy. There _were_ parts that were less than ideal, such as how things ended with his father... okay, so there was just that one thing that was less than ideal. Everything else... was like magic. Like watching a video of a demolition in reverse - all of the debris and chaos settling perfectly back in place. It felt good. And the more he let himself enjoy it, the more he did.    
  
    When his skin began to prune and the water grew tepid, Dean drained the bath and set about shaving and dressing. At seven a.m., he checked on Mary before slipping down the hall to the kitchen, hoping against hope that someone was awake before him. He wasn't disappointed.  
  
    "Morning," Jimmy greeted, looking up from the paper as Dean entered. "You're up early."  
  
    "Yeah," Dean commented. "Baby was up early and I couldn't fall back to sleep after I got her back down."  
  
    "A blessing," Jimmy reminded him. Dean smirked, but didn't disagree. "Help yourself to the coffee. I can make some breakfast if you want?"  
  
    "Nah, I'll just wait for the family," Dean replied, pouring the hot brew into a cup and adding a splash of cream. "I'm going to take this to Cas. He had a pretty rough night last night himself. Mojo on the fritz and all..."  
  
    "That's rough," Jimmy said, folding the paper and setting it aside. "That has to be hard on him."  
  
    Dean nodded, shrugging slightly.  
  
    "He's a fighter," he replied. "And he's already pretty good at all this human stuff." he indicated the cup. "I'll be right back."  
  
    Dean returned to the bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind himself. He sat the coffee on the bedside table and leaned onto the bed, rubbing a hand gently over Cas's bare arm.  
  
    "Hey baby," he said softly, leaning in to kiss the Angel’s shoulder. "You think you can get up yet, or do you want to sleep a bit more?"  
  
    Castiel groaned, rolling onto his back and staring up at Dean. He looked confused for a moment, and he narrowed his bleary eyes  
  
    "What time is it?" he asked. Dean moved back as Castiel sat up, running a hand through his already disheveled hair.  
  
    "It's about seven fifteen," Dean replied, handing the Angel the cup. "You fell asleep at about half past four... sorry to wake you."  
  
    Castiel shook his head, taking a long sip of the coffee.  
  
    "No, I'm fine." he replied, his eyes traveling over to the crib. "Has the baby been up?"  
  
    "Not yet."  
  
    Dean stood as Castiel moved to sit on the side of the bed, taking another large gulp of coffee before rising. He sat the mug aside and stretched his arms over his head. Dean felt a smile tug at his mouth as his eyes swept down the Angel's muscular, lean body.  
  
    "Go hop in the shower, buddy," Dean told him, running his hand over Cas's back as he passed. "I'm sending the baby in to you in a minute."  
  
    Castiel nodded, disappearing into the next room. Dean moved to the crib and reached down to gently pat the baby's back.  
  
    "Hey sweetheart," he murmured, grinning at the way the baby pulled her limbs in under herself, but her head popped up almost immediately and she turned her wide blue eyes to her father; a happy, sleepy smile on her face. "That's my girl," Dean cooed, pulling the baby into his arms and cuddling her to his chest. "Good morning, precious." Mary gurgled happily, reaching up to touch Dean's face. He took hold of her hand, kissing her fingers before kissing her face. "You wanna take a shower with daddy, huh? You want to shower with daddy?" he lay the baby down on the bed and removed her pajamas and diaper. The baby kicked and squealed, watching Dean with rapt attention. "Don't pee until you’re with you're with daddy, okay?" he told her, kissing her cheek as he carried her to the bathroom. "But don't tell him I said that."  
  
    "I heard that," Castiel replied humorlessly, but he was smiling as peered from around the curtain at them.  
  
    Dean chuckled, handing the baby over and waiting while the Angel washed her. When the shower stopped, Dean wrapped a towel around Castiel's waist before using another to take the baby from him.  
  
    "Thank you," Cas spoke, accepting the kiss Dean leaned in to give him.  
  
    Dean only grinned, taking their daughter into the bedroom to dry and dress her while Castiel finished getting ready himself. Dean sat with the baby, watching Castiel pull a thin black sweater over his grey button down Oxford. A smile came to his lips. His family was gorgeous.  
  
    The Winchesters joined the Novaks for breakfast, and afterward they bundled the baby, packed into the Novak's Volvo (which Dean teased him mercilessly on) and drove to the car museum. The entire group was amused by Mary being uncommonly bundled in a winter coat, complete with pom-pom topped hat and mittens, and a multitude of photos were taken.  
  
    Castiel walked quietly along behind the group, holding the baby in his arms, watching with interest at the interaction between Dean and Jimmy as they enthused over the vehicles. The Angel couldn’t see the interest in the human methods of transportation. After flying, cars and airplanes were cramped and painfully slow. Cas tried his best not to look 'aggressively constipated' as Dean joked, but it was a little harder after the joke was made. He continued to walk along and listen to the group, but Dean and Jimmy may as well been speaking a foreign language as they discussed things like ‘horse-power’ and ‘RPMs’.      
  
    After an hour of raving and photographing the sleek, shiny chrome and metallic classic cars, Dean hung back with Castiel as the Novaks went in search of coffee.  
  
    "You alright?" he asked, resting a hand on the small of the Angel's back. Castiel nodded once.  
  
    "Yes, Dean," he answered. Dean raised an eyebrow, but didn't question.  
  
    "What do you think of the cars?" he asked with enthusiasm. "D'you see the one that looked just like my baby?"  
  
    "Yes. It was red."  
  
    Dean licked his lips, looking straight into Castiel's eyes as he considered his next question. It was hesitant in coming.  
  
    "Did, uh,... did I hurt your feelings earlier?" before Cas could respond, he continued. "Because I didn't mean to-"  
  
    "Dean," Castiel interrupted. "We haven't stopped being friends now that we have married, have we?" he asked. Dean shook his head.  
  
    "Nah Buddy," he assured the Angel, his hand flexing against the older man's back. "You're my best friend."  
  
    Castiel nodded, more out of acknowledgement than agreement.  
  
    "I know you were only teasing me," he spoke lowly. "I... I cannot understand or explain this.. odd feeling. But please know, Dean, you did not hurt my feelings... not really."  
  
    Dean grimaced, moving his hand down to thread his finger's with the Angel's.  
  
    "Well, I hope not," he told his husband, his voice low and calm. "But, I...and don't take this the wrong way, but I think this feeling that you're talking about it just that you didn't get enough sleep last night. Plain and simple." he didn't mention the word "cranky", but it described that feeling to a T. "Just hang in there for a bit. After lunch, we're going back to the house to put the baby down for a nap - and I wouldn't be adverse to taking one myself."  
  
    "Really?" Castiel asked, looking a bit incredulous, but also relieved. Dean grinned.  
  
    "Yep. And," he pulled Cas's hand, leaning in to the Angel and leering at him, a glint in his brilliant green eyes. "I'm gonna snuggle you _so hard_ , you are going sleep _good_."  
  
    Castiel tried not to smile, but his grin only made Dean smile wider.  
  
    "Well," the Angel told him. "I'll sleep well,"  
  
    "Exactly," Dean laughed, giving him a quick kiss before the others returned.  
  
    Castiel gratefully accepted the coffee, handing the baby over to Amelia as they continued to walk through the museum. Dean stayed closer to Cas this time, keeping his hand clasped with the Angel's as they walked. Cas’s mood was noticeably improved after this, so Dean held his hand for the remainder of the tour. After the auto museum, they took a short drive across town to the Route 66 Hall of Fame and Museum and the Livingston County War Museum. Again, Castiel watched Dean closely, enjoying the enthusiasm and interest Dean showed in the history of his country. In the war museum, Dean purchased a book, and Cas could tell he was looking forward to reading it. He warmed him to see Dean so happy.    
  
    For lunch, the group stopped at a local family restaurant, and Castiel was happy with the fact that he was actually hungry when they were seated. He and Dean shared a warm, crunchy bread salad with olives and vegetables before their main course of hot roast beef sandwiches which were served with an insanely satisfying gravy for dipping. Dean was nice enough, and full enough, to split a slice of coconut cream pie with his husband while the older man fed a bottle to their daughter.  
  
    By the time they returned to the Novak's, Mary was asleep and Jimmy and Amelia were understanding of everyone's need for a nap. Mary was laid to sleep in her crib, and she was so worn out from the morning that she didn't stir. Dean and Cas stripped down to their boxers, so as not to rumple their clothes, and true to his word, Dean pulled Castiel in close, holding him to his chest as the Angel fell quickly to sleep. After an hour and a half, they got back up and redressed. Mary greatly benefited from the nap - although she was always happy - and Dean dressed her in a cute, pink corduroy jumper and a cream colored sweater embroidered with butterflies. Her honey-colored curls poked out from beneath a crocheted beanie. She giggled happily, squealing in delight as Dean placed a barrage of kisses on her throat. Castiel watched them with a smile, his heart swelling with love for the two beings that were his family.  
  
    "You ready for this?" Dean asked the Angel as he headed for the door. Castiel nodded, letting Dean give him a warm kiss on the cheek. "It'll be great." Dean told him.  
  
    Jimmy, Amelia, and Claire were in the kitchen when the Winchesters arrived downstairs. Jimmy grinned broadly at them, but his eyes settled on Mary.  
  
    "She just keeps getting cuter," he stated, taking the infant from Dean's arms. "Aren't you? Huh?"  
  
    Mary grinned, touching Jimmy's face before turning to Castiel. Her pale brows knitted together and her smile began to fade as she turned back to the man who held her. A small uncertain groan escaped her as she turned back to Dean.  
  
    "Aw," Dean laughed, taking the baby back from his friend. "It's okay baby," he told her, handing her over to Castiel. The baby looked up at her father with uncertainty, but when he leaned down to kiss her cheek and whispered deeply that it was okay, the baby's smile returned and she cooed happily, bringing her chubby hands to Cas's jaw. Dean grinned broadly.  
  
    Amelia had a smile on her face as well, as she wrapped up the desert tray she prepared for the gathering.  
  
    "Alright boys," she spoke, handing the tray to her husband. "We better get on the road."  
  
    Coats and scarves were donned once again, and the diaper bag and other item's loaded back in the car for the twenty minute drive to Jimmy's parent's home. The house was everything Dean imagined of a "grandparents" house; a warm, orange brick two story, decorated with a fall colored wreath of oak leaves. As the car came to a halt in the drive, the front door opened and a tall, willowy brunette stepped out onto the front step, followed closely by two preteen boys.  
  
    "Jimm-meee!!" the woman greeted as they walked toward the house, and Jimmy embraced her warmly.  
  
    "Christy," he returned, but as they turned, her eyes fell on Cas.  
  
    "Oh, wow," she breathed, stepping away from Jimmy and extending her hand. "You must be Castiel?"  
  
    Castiel nodded once, taking her hand in his.  
  
    "I am,"  
  
    The woman laughed shortly, her smile widening.  
  
    "Wow," she said again, bringing a hand to her throat. "You don't sound anything like Jimmy."  
  
    "No," Cas agreed, "my true voice resonates at a deeper pitch in these human vocal tendons."  
  
    "Christy," Jimmy broke in, moving to stand beside the Angel. "This is Cas. And this is Dean,"  
  
    "It's good to meet you, Dean," She said, shaking his hand as well.  
  
    "And this," Jimmy continued with a grin, indicating the baby in the hunter's arms. "Is Mary,"  
  
    Christy smiled at the baby, leaning in and touching the baby's mittened hand.  
  
    "Named for the virgin mother?" she asked, raising her eyes to Cas.  
  
    "Nope. Named for mine," Dean replied with a grin. "And I'm going to just assume that she is."  
  
    The group laughed, except for Castiel who was trying to work out the statement, and Christy pulled the children behind her to the forefront.  
  
    "These are my boys, Jacob and Seth."  
  
    "Nice to meet you, boys," Dean greeted, catching the subtle shift of their eyes from him to Cas and back, but the boys politely echoed his sentiment.  
  
    "Well, let's get out of the cold," Christy spoke, hugging Amelia as the woman approached. "Mom is excited to finally see you two."  
  
    Dean turned and gave the Angel a supportive smile, and Castiel looked evenly back at him, following the younger man into the house.  
  
    The inside of the Novak's was just as warm and welcoming as the facade, and there was another friendly group of people inside. The Winchesters were introduced to Christy's husband Morgan, Jimmy's younger older sister Sarah, her husband Troy and their three children Melissa, Cole, and Chloe. Most importantly, they were introduced to Jimmy's mother Joanna, and the first thing she did was embrace Castiel like the son she felt he was.  
  
    "You are an absolutely blessing," she told him with tears in her eyes, bringing her hands to his face. Castiel covered her hands with his, looking down into Mrs. Novak's blue eyes.  
  
    "No," he told her. "Your son gave the ultimate sacrifice so that I may come to earth and guide the Winchesters to deter the coming apocalypse. The blessing was this man," he said, raising his gaze to Jimmy. "And... and I... I owe him my life."  
  
    "Aww, enough of that," Jimmy laughed, clapping Cas on the back. Mrs. Novak wiped her eyes and laughed as well, turning to Dean.  
  
    "It is _wonderful_ to finally meet you, Dean," she spoke, "Jimmy has told us so much about you. And this," Dean let the older woman take the baby from his arms. "Must be little Mary Samantha," Dean beamed proudly at the attention his daughter earned. Joanna cooed over the baby for a moment, and the baby watched her with wide blue eyes. "Well let's get a drink, hm?" Joanna asked, looking back up to the group and handing the baby back to Cas.  
  
    They moved on into the large open kitchen and gathered around the bar where a pitcher of tea and one of something that looked obviously alcoholic and full of fresh fruit. As Mrs. Novak served drinks, Troy and Morgan began questioning Dean on his former job and his new one, while Jimmy's sisters closed in on Castiel, eyeing him with amazement and wonder.  
  
    "I swear, Jimmy," Christy said in awe, shaking her head. "He looks so much like you but... but _not_..."  
  
    "He looks exactly like me," Jimmy laughed, kissing his sister on the cheek. "Cas, you want me to feed the baby for you?"  
  
    "No," Castiel told him. "I'll do it."  
  
    The Angel prepared a bottle and took his daughter into the den to feed her. The Novak sisters followed and settled on either side of him.  
  
    "What's heaven like?" Sarah asked him. Castiel considered the question, looking down at his daughter.  
  
    "If you are referring to the "heaven" where human's go after their life is completed, It's different for everyone," he began. "But for Angels, it's... it's light and air and peace... It is my brothers and sisters in fellowship, of praise and worship."  
  
    Both women looked at him in awe as he spoke. Sarah shook her head.  
  
    "Why would you stay on earth?" she asked. "When your mission was done, why wouldn't you go home?"  
  
    Castiel smiled softly, shifting the baby in his arms. Mary watched him with such devotion in her wide eyes.  
  
    "I found where I truly belonged. Somewhere _more_ like home..."  
  
    Christy looked across the Den to the kitchen where Dean, Jimmy, Troy and Morgan were all laughing and talking.  
  
    "Can I ask you something personal?" she said, turning back to the Angel. Castiel tilted his head, raising an eyebrow, but did not refuse. She took a breath. "Was god angry with you when you... you fell for Dean?"  
  
    Castiel sighed, shaking his head.  
  
    "I have no idea how my father feels about my love for Dean. Or my choosing to live on earth as a human as opposed to my duty as a Angel of heaven. But, I believe that he loves me. I believe he loves Dean. And I believe it was within his will for us to be together, to be blessed with a child. However," she looked back to the woman, his expression serious. "If you are referring to the fact that Dean is a male, and the vessel in which I inhabit is also male, I believe that my father concerns himself not with our physical sex, but the intention of our heart."  
  
    Both women were quiet a moment before Sarah spoke.  
  
    "Well, he's incredibly handsome," she said with a smile. Christy smiled broadly at the way Castiel blushed.  
  
    After a few moments of chatting, the children infiltrated the den and turned on the television to watch a movie. Castiel stayed where he was, holding Mary and watching the movie in silence while the rest of the adults in the household gathered in the kitchen to continue with drinks and conversation.  
  
    Dean noticed that Amelia took the glass of wine Jimmy offered her, and he slipped from his seat at the bar to move to her side.  
  
    "They say that you shouldn't drink if you are working on adding little ones to your family," he told her with a grin.  
  
    Amelia smiled back at him, tilting her head to the side slightly.  
  
    "I appreciate the concern, Dean," she said. "But, I don't think that one glass of wine is going to hurt our chances to try."  
  
    "Well, I'll tell you what," Dean said with a grin, halting the glass from reaching her lips. "Cas and I are trying too, and I don't think alcohol is going to do damn bit of difference in our case." they both laughed at the comment. Dean gave her a nudge. "So tell you what: I'll abstain, if you do - from alcohol, I mean."  
  
    Amelia laughed, in spite of herself.  
  
    "Or that would defeat the purpose," she said. Dean nodded, taking the wine from her hands and replacing it with a glass of iced tea. He clinked his glass with her's.  
  
    "To procreation," he said lowly, giving a wink. Amelia shook her head, but sipped her drink in favor of the toast. Dean pushed away from the counter, grabbing another glass and moving into the den where the kids were sprawled across the floor, except for Claire who was seated next to Castiel and Mary. The young teen was shaking a giraffe shaped rattle in front of the baby, who was giggling happily. Dean held out the glass to the Angel. "Why you holed up in here?" he asked. Castiel looked away from the TV and up at the hunter.  
  
    "I have the baby," he said, as though the response was obvious. "all of the children are in here. I couldn't leave her with children..."  
  
    "I'm not a child," Claire said softly.  
  
    "Of course you're not." Dean insisted, but he didn't suggest that Cas leave the baby in her care. "C'mon, come in to the kitchen where everyone else is. I want you to get to know everyone."  
  
    Castiel nodded, giving Claire a sympathetic look as he rose and followed Dean into the next room. The adults welcomed the Winchesters back warmly, and Jimmy relieved the Angel of the baby. Mary curled up to his neck, resting her head on his shoulder as she watched the others with wide, interested eyes.  
  
    "So, Castiel," Christy's husband spoke, leaning on the counter. "Do you... you know, remember Jimmy's life or-"  
  
    "No," Castiel spoke emphatically. "I did not share memory or thoughts with him. He may have memories of my experience while we shared a vessel,"  
  
    "Like being strapped to a comet," Jimmy stated with a grin. "But, I only remember vague bits and pieces,"  
      
    Castiel didn't elaborate, but he knew Jimmy had memories of his experiences, especially his feelings for Dean. He was grateful that he chose to keep silent.  
  
    "Well," Mrs. Novak spoke, setting a plate of appetizers in the middle of the group. "Things are as they should be now." she gave her son a pat on the arm. "God knows best." Castiel nodded, looking to his daughter. "And he has not only restored one family, but blessed us with another. I think," she continued, looking from Dean to Castiel. "I'd like to take a moment to thank him for that," Dean nodded numbly, and Cas gave one nod before they all grew closer, taking hands and bowing heads. "Heavenly father," Mrs. Novak began, her soft voice so full of conviction and gratitude. "we thank you for your our family, that you have brought together. For the life of our beloved James, that you have so graciously returned. For the addition of Castiel, a gift in many ways. And I thank you, Lord, that you have touched these young men with the virtue of compassion that they have allowed us to invite them into our family and they have accepted with such graciousness. We humbly thank you for these blessings. Amen."  
  
    The group echoed the final sentiment, and Joanna squeezed Dean's hand tightly before letting go. Dean gave a weak smile, feeling a bit overwhelmed by their kindness.  
  
    "Well," Jimmy spoke, smiling brightly at Cas and Dean. "Everyone ready to eat?"  
  
    There was a unanimous agreement, and everyone helped take serving dishes and other necessities to the table. There was a cheerful murmur of conversation as the children joined the room, and Cas placed Mary in her carrier next to his chair. Just as everyone settled in, the sound of a car door shutting brought most of the adults to a halt. Jimmy looked, surprised, from one sister to the next, mouthing "dad?". Christy stood, and Sarah bit her lip as she watched her older sister walk to the front door. Cas turned to look at Dean, who shrugged. They could hear the door opening and there was a moment of silence before a voice could be heard.  
  
    "What's going on here?"  
  
     Dean felt relieved to hear the man's voice held no animosity or anger, but genuine curiosity. Christy's voice followed after, calm and casual.  
  
    "Jimmy and Amelia had some friends in town, so we decided to invite them for a family dinner."  
  
    "Oh, that's charitable. Have we already met them?"  
  
    "Well," Christy continued, and there was the rustle of fabric as if she were helping her father out of his coat. "can I talk to you a minute first?"    
      
    The voices were quiet enough now that Castiel was the only one who could hear the conversation. He turned to Dean, wondering if the hunter could hear as well. Everyone in the room was quiet.  
  
    "Dad," Christy said, taking a deep breath. "You remember the story Jimmy told us when he came back? About the Angel Castiel and Dean Winchester?" there was a short, tense silence. "Well Dad, Jimmy - understandably - has become quite close to the Winchesters and their family. So, we wanted to be charitable and be welcoming to them while they are in town."  
  
    There was a moment of silence before Mr. Novak spoke.  
  
    "These are the two James and Amelia attended the wedding for?" he asked, his voice weary.  
  
    "Dad," Christy continued, her own voice staying low and calm, even though there was an edge of concern in it. "Jimmy and Amelia have a different perspective. This Angel gave him back to us-"  
  
    "At what cost, Christianne?" Mr. Novak asked her. "By pulling his whole family into corruption? Taking them the same way as Sodom and Gomorrah?"  
  
    Dean looked down at Cas's hand that he clenched into a fist on his thigh. He narrowed his eyes, wondering if Cas could hear what the rest could not. Dean reached out, putting his hand over Castiel's. The Angel raised his eyes to Dean, and the hunter smiled, trying to soothe his nerves. Cas's mouth twitched in an attempted smile, but it was hard as he listened to Mr. Novak and his daughter.  
  
    "This is a Christian home," Mr. Novak was saying. "and I raised my children to have Christian values."  
  
    "I know, daddy," Christy insisted. "Jimmy and Amelia are showing the values of grace and gratitude - for an _Angel_ , daddy,"  
  
    "2 Corinthians 11:14, Christianne," Mr. Novak said, sounding a bit grim.  
  
    "Daddy," Christy sighed. A moment later, she returned, trailing just a step behind her father.  
  
    Dean's mouth was dry with anticipation and he took a breath. Mr. Novak was strikingly similar to his son - or, as Dean supposed - his son was strikingly similar to him. The same chestnut colored hair, but streaked with silver at the temples, and the same almond shaped eyes - just a dark brown and not bright blue. Mr. Novak’s gaze landed on Cas.  
  
    "You're back early, dad," Jimmy spoke, standing as his father came into the room. He smoothed down his tie nervously, looking from his father to the guests. "We're glad your made it back so soon. I’d like to introduce you to our friends."  
  
    Dean stood, reaching out a hand toward Mr. Novak.  
  
    "It's good to meet you, sir," he spoke, trying not to sound like a teen meeting his prom date's father for the first time. He waited a beat to long to be comfortable before Mr. Novak finally took his hand. Jimmy looked visibly relieved.  
  
    "Dad, this is Dean," he said with a grin. “Dean, this is my father Matthew.” he turned to the Angel as Castiel stood slowly, and this time it was Mr. Novak who waited with his hand outstretched. Castiel covered the older man's hand with his, like the first time he met Sam. Dean felt slightly unnerved by the Angel’s actions, and Jimmy attempted to continue the introductions. “Uh, and dad, this is-”  
  
    "Luke," Castiel said plainly. When Matthew narrowed his eyes, it doubled the resemblance between father and son. Castiel finished, slowly. "6:37."  
  
    Dean watched the blanched expression that crossed almost every Novak's face, but he didn't understand. He looked to Castiel, who was smiling serenely: that same ballsy, unfiltered look he gave Sam when calling him "the boy with the Demon blood". Dean got the feeling that some sort of bible-gauntlet had just been thrown.  
  
    Jimmy spoke, hesitantly.  
  
    “This is Castiel.”  
  
    "This is our daughter Mary," Castiel continued, indicating the baby in her seat. Matthew looked down at the baby, who only had eyes for her own father.  
  
    "Your daughter," Mr. Novak echoed softly, looking at the child's features, which were so obviously a combination of Cas and Dean. Castiel continued to smile.  
  
    "The Lord, my father, works in mysterious ways.” he said. “In all my time in heaven, or watching over earth, I am still amazed at the depth of his blessings."  
  
    “I see,” Mr. Novak nodded, motioning for everyone to sit and taking his seat next to his wife. “Well, let’s not delay any longer on my account. Please, sit.”  
  
    There was an awkward silence, as everyone settled back down in their seats and took hands to say grace.  
  
    "Heavenly father," Mr. Novak spoke. "We thank you for this meal that we are about to receive, and for the bountiful gifts that you have given us. We ask that you please keep us strong, in your protection and safe from evil. In Jesus' name, amen."  
  
    There was a bit of hesitance as the group began to serve themselves. Mrs. Novak was looking at her husband with silent request to not cause too much disturbance. But, it should have been Dean trying to keep his own husband in line.  
  
    "Mr. Novak," Castiel spoke, looking down the table at the patriarch. "You seem very confident in your knowledge of the history of creation."  
  
    The adults stilled, and many pairs of eyes turned to Cas.  
  
    "Biblical history, I would say," Mr. Novak replied evenly, "I'm fairly confident."  
  
    Castiel nodded, tilting his head to the side.  
  
    "And you know, then, what the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah truly was?" Dean choked on the bite of food in his mouth, and Castiel reached back to pat him nonchalantly on his back as he waited for a response. Mr. Novak did not look amused by the Angel's question.  
      
    "I don't believe this is an appropriate conversation to have in front of children." he replied.  
  
    "On the contrary," Castiel replied. "I think that teaching children truth and righteousness is always appropriate."  
  
    "Cas," Dean spoke quietly, wondering if Cas's nap hadn't quite been long enough, but Castiel continued as if he hadn't heard.  
  
    "The sin of the twin cities was not homosexuality - although, I do find it interesting that most people ignore the gang brutality - but the sin of these cities was their inhospitality; their lack of charity and love for their neighbor, for the disadvantaged. For those that were in need of charity and grace."  
  
    Mr. Novak looked to the Angel with mild interest.  
  
    "That's an interesting take on the scripture,"  
  
    Castiel shook his head.  
  
    "It's not scripture," he explained. "It is fact. I was there."  
  
    A cool silence fell over the table, and it was broken by Christy's oldest son Jacob.  
  
    "You were there?"  
  
    Castiel turned to the child.  
  
    "Yes. My brother Uriel and I received revelation that the selfishness and corruption of Sodom and Gomorrah was too great, and we were sent to purge the cities of this sin. Every man and women, regardless of of their sexual orientation, was to be destroyed - except," he turned back to Mr. Novak. "Except for the family that showed us charity and mercy."  
  
    Mr. Novak sat down his utensils and stared back at Castiel.  
  
    "Are you trying to tell me that god overlooks the sin of homosexuality?" he asked, all consideration for children aside. "That he could ignore such an affront to his will?"  
  
    "There are only ten morality commandments for man," Cas replied sternly. "Would you think my father would overlook those?"  
  
    "Of course not," Mr. Novak replied, as if the very idea were ridiculous. The table were looking back and forth between the two as if this were a ping-pong match. Castiel frowned.  
  
    "King David, by your own bible, was a man after my father's heart," he explained to the older man. "Yet he was an adulterer, a rapist, a liar, and a murder - breaking multiple of my father's commandments. Yet he was beloved by my father regardless, and he sits in heaven this day." Dean bit his lip, turning to Jimmy. Jimmy looked equally mortified. "You humans, especially those of you who proclaim to follow the teachings of Christ, fail to understand the underlying tenant of his message - to love one another. To judge not, lest you be judge. My father's son ministered to those he felt were straying from my father's will, he did not condemn them. He preached that he who is without sin could cast the first stone - possibly because he felt you humans were incapable of resisting the sin of judgment. When many of the ‘sins’ you fixate are are not ‘sins’ at all." he looked incredulously to the eldest Novak. "You think my father blessed you with this beautiful family because you are without fault? Or because he wanted to show you that a father loves his children even _when_ they have faults?" Cas looked around the table, his eyes lingering on Dean a moment before turning back to Mr. Novak. "May I speak with you privately?"  
  
    Dean felt a small twinge of fear as he watched Mr. Novak and the Angel rise from the table.  
  
    “Uh, Cas,” he began, but the Angel turned to him and he fell silent.  
  
    “We’ll return,” he assured his husband. Dean nodded.  
  
    Castiel and Mr. Novak continued on into the next room. Once they were just out of site, there was the tale-tell sound of beating wings that made Jimmy and Dean look to each other.  
  
    "Should we wait?" Sarah asked, looking to her mother. "Or should we... keep eating...?"  
  
    Mrs. Novak turned to Dean, as if she didn't hear her daughter. "I'm so sorry, Dean," she said, sincerely. "My husband doesn't realize-"  
  
    "It's okay," Dean spoke before she could continue. He gave a laugh that he hoped would sound carefree, but it only came out awkward. "My dad wasn't raised religious, and he still can't accept me an' Cas..." He moved to Cas's chair, reaching down to soothe Mary who was starting to fuss.  
  
    "Is Castiel killing grandpa?" one of the younger boys asked quietly from the end of the table. There was a smattering of laughter, and Sarah shushed the child assuring him that no such thing was happening. But, the silence began to become tense again until the fluttering of wings returned and Cas and Matthew rejoined the group. Castiel took Dean's empty chair without comment and Mr. Novak returned to his seat beside his wife.  
  
    "Sorry," Mr. Novak said to his children and the group at large. "Were we gone long?"  
  
    The Novak's looked to one another, but Christy spoke for them.  
  
    "No-” she said, having to clear her throat to find her voice.  “just a few moments..."  
  
    "Good," Mr. Novak replied, picking up his utensils. "And everything is still warm.” he cut into the slice of roast beef on his plate. “So, Dean," he looked to the hunter, who immediately straightened up at being addressed. "What do you do for a living?"  
  
    Dean's mouth opened, but he was unable to respond, turning to look at Cas who was chewing a mouthful of potato and raising his eyebrows as if to say "Yes Dean, what is it that you do?".  
  
    "I, uh," Dean began, turning back to the older man. "I work for the Department of Justice; the Federal Bureau of Investigation... I'm an agent..."  
  
    Slowly but surely, the conversation began to pick up and the group ate and chatted about different, yet neutral, topics. After dinner, they enjoyed dessert of apple pie and ice cream, which Dean particularly enjoyed, and the assembly laughed and chatted about college and annoying jobs and baby stories. Castiel sat quietly observing, smiling now and then with a particularly funny story, but mostly he just held Mary against his chest and rocked her when she whined.  
  
    As the topic of children came around, Sarah's eight year old, Chloe, pointed out one of the elephants in the room.  
  
    "How did you get Mary?" she asked Dean. Dean paled slightly before blushing, but Castiel spoke.  
      
    "She was a gift from heaven,” he said, looking down at the beautiful baby. “She didn't grow inside of one of us like is usual for humans, but she came into existence from my and Dean's love and intention to have a family."  
  
    Chloe narrowed her eyes, nodding sagely.  
  
    "Like magic," she commented. Dean laughed.  
  
    "Yeah, like magic," he said, picking up his napkin and leaning over to wipe the copious amount of drool leaking from the baby's mouth and on to Castiel's shoulder.  
  
    When the sun began to set, the Winchesters and Jimmy's small family got ready to return to their home. There was plenty of talk and hugging as they moved toward the door. Dean was happy to see that the Novak girls treated Cas no differently than Jimmy, watching as Christy tightened the scarf around the Angel's neck.  
  
    "I want you all to come over tomorrow for lunch," she was telling him. "I make a mean potato and egg fritatta."  
  
     Castiel nodded.  
  
    "I'm sure Dean would not be adverse. Thank you for your hospitality,"  
  
    She hugged him tightly, as though he were really her brother.  
  
    "Good. See you tomorrow then. I'll make Sarah and Troy come too. It'll be just us 'kids',"  
  
    The group was seen out to the car, last minute conversations lingering as Castiel strapped a fussing baby into her car seat. As they set out for the house, Castiel spoke after a moment of quiet.  
  
    "I apologize if I made the evening uncomfortable,"  
  
    "God no, Cas," Jimmy replied, looking back at him in the rearview mirror. "I'm sorry my father was so... the way he is, at first..."  
  
    "I have to admit," Castiel said ashamedly. "Since I have become a parent, I have a hard time watching the way in which other's mistreat their own children in my father's name. That is vanity, I suppose..." Dean's brow furrowed, and he reached over to squeeze Cas's hand. "But, I could tell that your father is not a bad man, simply misguided... Jimmy, he loves you very much."  
  
    Dean could see the way Jimmy's jaw tensed, but he merely nodded.  
  
    "Well, his mood certainly improved after your chat," Jimmy continued. "I can't imagine what you said to him,"  
  
    "I didn't have to say much," Castiel explained casually, looking out the window at the passing scenery. "I just showed him heaven."  
  
    Amelia turned in her seat and Jimmy looked back in the mirror, his eyebrows raised.  
  
    "You what?!"  
  
    "Heaven," Cas repeated, turning to look at them. "I think it helps put into perspective what you shouldn't squander on earth when you see what you will surround yourself with when you are no longer on this planet."  
  
    There was silence once again, and no one asked what Mr. Novak's heaven looked liked, for they were all pretty sure Cas wouldn't reveal that.  
  
    Once back home, Cas took Mary up to bed and Amelia saw her own daughter off as well. Jimmy and Dean went into the den, and Jimmy poured each of them a tumbler of scotch.  
  
    "Well," Jimmy declared, clinking the side of his glass against Dean's. "To one more awkward family meal to add to the collection."  
  
    Dean grinned.  
  
    "What's family for, huh?" he asked. He took a drink, enjoying the deep burn of the liquid in his throat before he spoke again. "I'm... I'm sorry if Cas was ... inappropriate... This human stuff is new to him."  
  
    Jimmy waved his hand, dismissing the statement.  
  
    "No, I should be the one apologizing. I forced you out here in the middle of Midwest winter hell, forcing my family on you, letting my dad force his opinions on you-"  
  
    "You didn't force us out here," Dean told him. "We wanted to come. You and Amelia and Claire are family to us, you got that?"  
  
    Jimmy grimaced, but nodded.  
  
    "Thank you, Dean. That means a lot."  
  
    They sat in silence together as they shared the first glass. When Jimmy poured a second round, they exchanged a few moments casual conversation about the earlier events of the day. At ten p.m., the clock in den chimed and Dean rose from his seat, giving Jimmy a clap on the shoulder and downing the rest of the scotch in one gulp.  
  
    "I'll see you in the morning," he said. "Good night."  
  
    “Good night, Dean.”  
  
    Dean passed through the living room and up to the guest room. Cas was pacing the floor, bouncing the baby lightly in his arms. His looked both grim and apologetic, which made Dean's eyebrows raise.  
  
    "Are you upset with me?" Castiel asked, pausing in his pacing but continued to rock the baby. Dean tilted his head to the side, setting down on the bed and pulling off his shoes.  
  
    "Why would I be upset?" he asked. Castiel grimaced.  
  
    "Upon reflection, I can see how my actions were..." he searched for a phrase as he lay the baby gently in her crib. He turned back to his husband. "humanly inappropriate."  
  
    Dean chuckled, reaching out to pull Cas closer by his belt.  
  
    "That's new," he commented, resting his hands on the backs of Castiel's thighs. "Naw, you're fine..." he thought best not to bring up the word 'cranky' now either. "I actually thought it was kinda hot. Reminded me of when we first met..."  
  
    Cas looked down at the younger man, tilting his head to the side. Dean continued to run his hands up and down the back of the Angel's thighs. Castiel sighed.  
  
    "I've loved you for too long, with such honest intention, to let anyone question it," He spoke quietly. Dean looked up at him.  
  
    "I know baby," he said. He knew Cas wasn't only speaking of Jimmy's father, but Dean’s - and possibly his own. "Let's not think about it any more tonight. Let's just get some sleep, hm?"  
  
    Castiel nodded, following Dean into the bathroom and the two got ready for bed. Once in pajamas and the lights turned out, Castiel settled down into Dean's embrace as the hunter opened the book he purchased at the war museum. Dean read by the light of the bedside lamp, leaning down to every now and then to lay kisses on Cas's hair or forehead as the Angel slipped slowly into unconsciousness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Two hours into the night, Dean was still reading when the baby woke. He slipped out of bed without disturbing Cas, and was able to pull his slacks back on before the baby began to cry. He gathered some things to change her diaper and make a bottle before moving out into the hall. Unfortunately, even with a dry diaper and a warm bottle of formula, she was inconsolable.  
  
    "Everything okay?" Jimmy asked, rubbing his eyes as he entered the living room. Amelia was behind him, trying the belt to her robe.  
  
    "God, I'm sorry," Dean spoke, trying to control the baby as she twisted and wailed in his arms. "I don't know what's wrong with her."  
  
    Amelia sat down at his side, taking the baby from his arms. Mary had large, wet tears in her eyes, and she chewed on her fist as she cried.  
  
    "She's just teething," Amelia told him, "I can run up to the drugstore and get something for it."  
  
    "I'm so sorry Amelia," Dean said, taking the baby back from her.  
  
    "It's not problem," she assured him. "Jimmy, why don't you get a cold washcloth for her to chew on until I get back?"  
  
    Amelia left to get dressed while Jimmy got the cold cloth, placing another in the freezer for later, and returning to Dean's side. The baby chewed on the cloth, but continued to whine and whimper as she looked up at her father for solace.  
  
    "I can't believe she's getting teeth..." Dean mused, running a hand over the baby's unruly curls. "She's getting so big..."  
  
    Jimmy smiled, leaning back of the sofa as he watched the baby in Dean's arms. Dean settled the baby against his chest, helping her keep the washcloth in her little hands as she chewed on the fabric, mewling quietly. Jimmy ran a hand through his hair, leaning his head on his hand.  
  
    "You're good at that," he commented, "I think Claire was almost a year old before I was really comfortable holding her. She was always so tiny. I was afraid she'd break."  
  
    Dean smirked, leaning down to kiss his daughter on her forehead.  
  
    "I, uh..." he began quietly, a nervous sort of laugh escaping him. "I’ve been around a couple babies and I... I took care of Sammy when he was a baby, so it's just sort of hardwired into me now."  
  
    Jimmy frowned, cocking his head to the side.  
  
    "Wait?" he began, shaking his head. "I thought you were only a couple of years older than Sam. How much older are you?"  
  
    Dean laughed again, keeping his eyes downcast.  
  
    "I'm four years older than Sam," he admitted. "But... after my mom died and dad just had... a hard time coping. Then he started researching, hunting..." he shrugged. "He had to leave us alone sometimes... and sometimes became longer and longer..."  
  
    Jimmy made a guttural sound in his throat that sounded suspiciously like a swear as he closed his eyes. Dean glanced up to see the look of utter disgust on his face.  
  
    "It's okay," Dean grumbled.  
  
    "Bull," Jimmy scoffed, pulling his knee up onto the couch and turning toward Dean. "You wouldn't do that to your kids - even if you lost Cas. You...you're a brave man, Dean..... Have you talked to your dad lately?"  
  
    Dean smirked.  
  
    "Just a couple weeks ago when I kicked him out of my house."  
  
    "Good for you!" Jimmy encouraged. Dean shook his head, sadly.  
  
    "Should have kicked him out the day before for making Cas uncomfortable," he said tightly. "When I think about..."  
  
    Dean grew quiet, and Jimmy watched him a moment before asking.  
  
    "What?"  
  
    Dean shrugged.  
  
    "Pointless to talk about," Dean replied, shifting in his seat and readjusting the cloth in Mary's hand so she had a cooler corner. "Just got to move forward."  
  
    Jimmy didn't respond right away, and he was quiet, but cool when he spoke.  
  
    "Well, if you ever do want to talk about," he said, rising from his seat and ruffling Dean's hair as he passed. "I'm here for you, brother."  
      
    Dean tried not to smile, giving a nod. He smiled for an unrelated reason when he looked up to see Castiel enter the room.  
  
    "Hey baby," Dean greeted, watching Cas's confused expression as he looked between Dean and the baby.  
  
    "Is everything alright?" Castiel asked. "Is Mary alright?"  
  
    "Yeah, baby," Dean assured him, taking the Angel's hand as he sat down at his side. As soon as the baby saw her father, she began to cry piteously, reaching out for him. Dean let Cas take the baby into his arms and hold her against his chest. "I'm seriously, babe," Dean said, chuckling at his daughter's early grasp at manipulation. "She's just teething. She's a little uncomfortable."  
  
    "Uncomfortable," Castiel said, concerned, holding the baby out a little bit to look into her face. The baby reached for her father's face, grasping at his shadowed jaw.  
  
    "Amelia is getting something for her at the pharmacy," Dean told him. Jimmy returned to the room then, holding two cups of a light, amber liquid. He handed one to Dean. "Tell him, Jimmy."  
  
    "She'll be fine, Cas," Jimmy told him, offering him the second glass. Cas shook his head, ignoring the offered drink.  
  
    "This is the most traumatic experience of my daughter's young life," he told them both. "She has never known pain. This is the worst pain she has ever felt..."  
  
    After the short errand, Amelia pulled back into the driveway, tucking one of her purchased items down into her purse before exiting and locking the car. When she entered the house, all three men were gathered around the infant, looks of concern on their faces.  
  
    "What-" she began, before her husband stood.  
  
    "Did you get the gel? Did they have it?" he asked earnestly, holding out a hand. Amelia grimaced, handing him the shopping bag. Jimmy took the teething gel from the bag, opening it and handing the tube to Cas. "It says here," he read from the back of the box. "Just to rub a small amount on her gums - the size of a pea, it says."  
  
    Amelia observed them with a smile as the three grown adults watched nervously as Castiel put the antiseptic on the baby's gums. Amelia shook her head, wondering what could have possibly happened between the time she left and now that could cause the three of them to think that a couple teeth was the end of the world.  
  
    "Jim," she spoke to her husband, "I'm going back up."  
  
    "I'll be there in a second, hon," he replied, his eyes still riveted on the infant. Dean turned her way.  
  
    "Thanks, Amelia. Cas and I appreciate it," he said. Castiel looked up at her as well, nodding. She smiled warmly.  
  
    "It was no trouble. I hope you guys get some sleep." She touched her husband briefly on the shoulder before turning for the staircase. Jimmy handed Dean the box to the teething gel.  
  
    "Every four hours, as needed." he directed. He turned to Castiel a moment, his words hesitant in coming. "May I... may I hold her before you guys go back to bed?"  
  
    Castiel nodded, letting Jimmy take the baby from his arms. Mary cooed happily, her eyelids drooping now that the edge was taken off the ache in her gums.  
  
    "Sweet thing," Jimmy murmured, kissing her forehead gently before handing her back to Cas. "You guys have a good night. Let me know if you need anything at all."  
  
    "Will do," Dean replied, rising from his seat and hugging the younger man. "Sorry to wake you,"  
  
    "No trouble," Jimmy assured him, reaching over to ruffle Cas's hair as he had done earlier to Dean. "Get some rest."  
  
    Once alone, Dean mentioned they should probably return to bed and he and Castiel walked back to their room.  
  
    "I think Jimmy believes he is older than me," Cas commented contemplatively as he passed Dean, who shut the door behind them. The hunter chuckled, shaking his head as he turned off the overhead light and moved to his side of the bed.  
  
    "Well, he did own that meat suit first," Dean pointed out, watching Castiel lay the baby in the middle of the bed before laying gently at her side.  
  
    "I've been in the universe longer," Cas replied petulantly, pulling the comforter over his shoulder and resting his hand on the baby’s stomach. "I'm hundreds of years older."  
  
    "He has more human life experience, babe," Dean explained. "You want this lamp off?"  
  
    "Not yet," Castiel replied, propping his head up on his hand as he looked down at his daughter. Mary cooed quietly, humming to herself as she tried to stay awake, her chubby fingers absently stroking the stubble on Cas' throat. Even as she tried to keep her eyes open, they drooped tiredly and she kicked her little feet in an attempt to keep sleep at bay. Dean smiled, looking at them both.  
  
    "Cas," he spoke softly, causing the Angel to turn blue eyes his way. Dean smiled. "I love you."  
  
    Castiel tilted his head up, accepting Dean's sweetly intimate kiss.  
  
    "I don't think I've ever not loved you, Dean." he replied. Dean kissed him once more, chastely, before curling up on the other side of  Mary. He had absolutely no trouble falling back to sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Jimmy closed the bedroom door after he returned upstairs. The clothes Amelia had worn to the store were laying over the chair by the bathroom door, which was closed.  
  
    "Sorry for the trouble, Ames," he called to his wife in the adjoining room as he adjusted the comforter on the bed. "Cas was pretty worked up over the baby teething. I could really see what he meant though - I mean, it is the worst pain she has ever felt. For a baby, that has to be terrifying!"  
  
    "No trouble, Jimmy," Amelia responded as she opened the bathroom door. "I, uh... I'm glad I went."  
  
    Jimmy looked up, watching his wife dab at her nose with a tissue. His brow furrowed as he took in her red-rimmed eyes.  
  
    "Honey," he breathed, turning and walking to stand before her. He brought his hands to her face, brushing back her dark blonde hair. "What is it? What happened?"  
  
    Amelia gave a huff of laughter, smiling weakly as she lifted her hand. Jimmy's brow furrowed as he looked down at the plastic stick she held. In the tiny oval window, it stated one word.  
  
    "Pregnant..." Jimmy read, numbly. "Oh my God, Ames... Ames..."  
  
    Amelia laughed, wrapping her arms around her husband as he crushed her in an embrace. She couldn't help but continue to laugh as he kissed her tear streaked face before dropping to his knees.  
  
    "Thank god," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her abdomen. "Thank god... thank you."  
  
     Amelia laughed again as Jimmy stood, hugging her tightly once again.  
  
    "What- what made you buy the test?" he asked, rubbing his own wet eyes before bringing his hands back to her face. She shrugged.  
  
    "Earlier Dean made a joke about us both trying to conceive, and I realized that in the rush of getting the house prepared for visitors and Claire being on break from school that I was late - like six days late. So, while I was at the drugstore..." she shrugged again before letting Jimmy pull her into his arms.  
  
    "This is such a miracle," he spoke, his voice muffled against her hair. "This is just..."  
  
    "I know," she replied, pushing away just enough to look up into his face. "And... a little scary."  
  
    Jimmy grinned.  
  
    "This? Scary? After all we've been through these last several years?" he gave a laugh that was slightly thick with emotion. "I'll take diapers and 2 am feedings and projectile vomiting over demons any day... Oh god," he sighed, shaking his head. "We're having a baby..."  
  
    Amelia closed her eyes, tilting her head up as Jimmy leaned in to kiss her, gently at first, but deepening as he pulled her closer to him. They held each other, getting lost in the intimacy and celebration of the new life they created together.  
  
    "I love you, Amelia," Jimmy breathed, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'm so sorry for everything I put you through. You've been so tolerant of all this craziness, of Cas and Mary and Dean-"  
  
    "Because I love you," She told him. "And I know you have a bond with them. Oddly enough, it seems Dean is more a brother to you than Castiel. They're family, Jim. Your family. Part of our family. And you don't have to apologize for anything." she brought a hand to his cheek, brushing her fingertips across his skin before smoothing back the hair above his ear. "All of this was worth what we have now. You need to stop feeling guilty. You did nothing wrong." her voice was soft as she continued. "Let's go back to bed."  
  
    Jimmy nodded, letting his wife lead him by the hand back to their bed. He settled at her side, his hand resting lightly on her flat belly. Amelia placed her hand over his, resting her head against his shoulder. It was worth what they went through to be where they were today; not just with a new baby and a second chance at life, but being in the arms of the man she had always loved.  
  
~~~~~~~~~


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tell me you love me, Dean," Castiel asked softly. Dean's brows drew together and he kissed the Angel's forehead before he replied.  
>  "I love you, Cas."  
>  Castiel was quiet another moment before he spoke again.  
>  "... and I'm your friend?... you're still my friend?..."  
>  Dean frowned, tightening his hold on the other man.  
>  "You're my best friend, Cas," he insisted. "I've told you that."  
>  "Tell me it will never change."  
>  "Never," Dean said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long and there is a little bit of smut in there, but there is also a good deal of fluff. I hope you enjoy. :)

**Chapter specific warning: mention of prior miscarriage.**     

    A soft knock on the door woke Dean the next morning. He blinked, confused for a moment as to where he was, but once his vision took in the site of his sleeping husband - with their baby daughter curled into his chest - the where didn't matter and his confusion slid away. Before another knock could fall, Dean rolled out of bed and landed softly on his feet, crossing to the door and opening it. Jimmy was on the other side.   
  
    "Sorry to wake you," the older man spoke quietly. "I know you probably didn't get much sleep last night, but I was hoping you'd come have coffee with me..."  
  
    Dean narrowed his eyes out of fatigue, but he nodded, giving a vague waive toward his lower half.   
  
    "Yeah, just let me... let me take care of this a minute..."  
  
    Jimmy nodded and stepped back from the door as Dean closed it. The hunter turned back to make sure his family was still asleep, placing his pillow on the side of Mary to act as a bumper, before crossing to the bathroom and emptying his bladder. After washing his hands and quickly brushing his teeth, he ran his fingers through his hair and left the room. Jimmy was in the kitchen, pouring coffee into cups.   
  
    "Sorry again," he greeted Dean. "I just... I need to talk."  
  
    Dean's brow furrowed and he accepted the cup Jimmy offered him.   
      
    "Everything alright?" he asked. Jimmy nodded, taking a sip of coffee before continuing.   
  
    "Yeah, everything's great, actually," he said with a smile. "Last night..." Dean sat forward, eyebrow raised. "Amelia took a pregnancy test and... and it said positive; it said she's pregnant."  
  
    Dean grinned broadly, opening his arms and pulling the other man into an embrace.   
      
    "That's awesome, man," he said, clapping Jimmy on the back. "That's so awesome."  
  
    "I know," Jimmy laughed, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. "I mean, it's really early - too early to really start telling people, because you never know, but - I wanted to tell someone while it was still a happy thing."  
  
    "What do you mean?" Dean asked, confused. "Of course it's a happy thing! We all wanted this - you especially."  
  
    "Oh, I know," Jimmy was quick to amend. "Yes, it's very happy. I mean, while we can be happy about it." he shook his head. "Let me try again: I mean, we will be very happy the whole time. It's just..." he shrugged, nervously twisting the coffee mug in his hands. "About four years after we had Claire, we got pregnant again but didn't make it to the tenth week," Dean's frown deepened as Jimmy continued. "We hadn't told anyone yet because we were waiting to get to that coveted second trimester, so when people finally found out that we _had_ been pregnant, it was something sad and solemn. Of course, we didn't give up, but since it was my non-existent sperm count that kept us from getting again... So this time..." he shrugged. "I want to share it with someone who can celebrate with me, in case-"  
  
    "Shut it," Dean said gruffly, surprising the other man with his stern words. Dean shook his head. "We're not goin' down that road, got it?" Jimmy nodded, numbly. Dean pointed at him, his eyes narrowed. "Because right now, your wife is carrying your child - and you did that." Dean's grin returned, and Jimmy couldn't help but smile back. "And we're gonna hang on to that, and we're going to celebrate every second of that, okay?"  
  
    "Okay," Jimmy told him. Dean gave one nod, thumping Jimmy on the he shoulder.   
  
    "Good. Now, pour us something stronger than coffee so we can celebrate right."  
  
    Jimmy smiled broadly, turning to the cabinet and searching until he found a bottle of Bailey's. He added it to the coffee and he and Dean clanked their cups together.   
  
    "To family," Dean spoke and Jimmy echoed the sentiment before they drank. Dean sighed, settling down on a stool next to the island. "Wow... a baby."  
  
    "I know," Jimmy said, unable to keep the smile from his face. "We're going to make an appointment with our doctor as soon as we can get one." he signed. "I'm not going to freak out yet. They're plenty of time to freak out."  
  
    "Damn straight," Dean agreed.   
  
    "But, there's so much that comes with a baby. I mean, more bills, another college fund, and such a big age difference between the kids."  
  
    "But," Dean countered. "There's more good things too."  
  
    "I know," Jimmy sighed, wistfully. He was quiet a moment before he turned to the hunter to speak. "It'll happen for you and Cas soon, I know it." he said softly. It was Dean's turn to sigh, and he looked down into the creamy caramel color of his coffee.   
  
    "I'm trusting in that thought," he said, giving a nervous sort of laugh at the thought of sharing his feelings. It was odd though, he didn't seem to mind those "chick flick" moments so much now that he could appreciate how fleeting life could be with those you care about. "I want it more than I thought I could. I, uh," he laughed again, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling. "I’d like Mary to have a sibling, someday, you know?" Jimmy nodded, smiling back.   
  
    "Yeah, I know."  
  
    Dean let out a long sigh.  
  
    "But with me an' Cas, I mean...frankly," he looked to Jimmy, his voice lowering. "I don't even know what makes babies with an Angel. I was told it was "intent" - and I intend my hardest to get him pregnant - hell, to get _me_ pregnant - I just... is it sex? Is it _thoughts_? Is it sharing a crappy motel room, because to be honest, I have no freakin' idea. What I do know, is that I want it. I want it for Cas. I want it for us. Having a little brother has been the most important thing in my life until I had my daughter, and I want her to have that - the good part, the fun part..."  
  
    Jimmy grinned, taking a sip of his coffee.   
  
    "It's probably pretty fun to pretend that sex _is_ what'll do it," he said. Dean blushed, but grinned.  
  
    "I'm not gonna deny that," he admitted. Jimmy laughed heartily, and they let the topic stop there, changing the subject to the events of the day. After the sun rose and the clock stuck seven, Jimmy started cooking breakfast for the household. Amelia entered the room soon after, and Jimmy told her he had shared the news with Dean. Amelia laughed when Dean hugged her, and thanked him for his sincere happiness for them. Claire entered the room at half past, and all talk of babies and pregnancy disappeared. Just a short time after the preteen, Castiel entered the room, carrying Mary in his arms. Jimmy smiled at the way the Angel moved to the hunter's side and Dean slipped an arm around his waist. Having known a lot about Dean from his time with Cas, he knew it used to be hard for Dean to make such a public display of emotion. Jimmy felt good about this change for two reasons - one, it mean Dean was becoming more comfortable in a stable relationship and two, it meant he was comfortably in front of the Novaks.   
  
    " 'Mornin', babe," Dean greeted the Angel, reaching out to tickle Mary's neck. The baby giggled happily at the attention. "Good morning."  
  
    "Good morning, Dean,"  Castiel replied. "Good morning, everyone,"  
  
    "She seems in a much better mood this morning," Amelia commented, handing a cup of coffee to the Angel. "Did you get enough sleep?"  
  
    "Yes, thank you," Cas replied, letting Dean take the baby from his arms so he could drink. "It was much easier to sleep when Mary was comfortably sleeping herself. I truly appreciate you helping us care for her."  
  
    Amelia gave him a warm smile, patting his arm. Jimmy sat a plate of French toast and bacon in front of him.   
  
    "Enjoy. You'll need your energy to deal with my sisters this afternoon." Castiel sighed, taking the seat next to Dean.  
  
    "That is true," he remarked, earning laughter from the group.   
  
    After a leisurely breakfast, the Novaks and Winchesters cleaned up the kitchen together, chatting about prior holidays. They laughter heartily over Amelia's tale of their first thanksgiving as a married couple, away at college and eating under-cooked turkey and canned cranberry sauce.   
  
    "It was wonderful," Jimmy declared, giving his wife a one armed hug. "We went to bed violently ill, but we both lost that pesky freshman fifteen in about two days."  
  
    "That's nice," Dean chuckled, turning to his husband. "Cas has caught on to cooking so well, I think I've gained at least ten pounds that I can't seem to shake." Castiel shrugged, tilting his head with a sheepish look on his face.   
  
    "I wasn't going to mention it," he admitted. "I'll try to learn leaner options." Jimmy erupted into laughter, and Dean's shoulder's shook as he tried to contain his own. Castiel looked from one man to the other. "It in no way impacts my affection for you, Dean," Cas assured him.   
  
    Laughter broke out once again, and only intensified when the baby started to giggle and kick her feet in the excitement. No one noticed Claire quietly snapping photos of the levity, and of the candidly happy moments.   
  
    After the kitchen was clean and the adults had enough coffee, Dean and Jimmy went to get showered and dressed since they were the only ones still in pajamas. Once they were dressed, the two families packed back into the Volvo and drove to Christy and Morgan’s house. Sarah and Troy were already there, and the four came out to greet them on the lawn. Sarah lifted the baby out of Jimmy's arms, and Mary cooed happily at the attention and immediately reached for the woman's long, chestnut colored hair. Dean quickly intervened, catching the baby's hand and kissing her fingers to distract her while Sarah pulled her hair to safety.   
  
    "I'm glad you guys could make it," Christy said, linking her arm through Castiel's as they returned to the house. "The fritatta is cooking as we speak, Sarah made an obscenely large pitcher of Sangria, and since there are four couples, we can certainly play a few hands of bridge."  
  
    "Not as 'white-countryclub' and boring as it sounds," Troy laughed, following the group into the house.   
  
    Once inside, Claire left to join her cousins who were playing in the den, and the adults gathered in the dining room around the table. Mary was returned to Castiel, and he held her against his shoulder as he watched Jimmy's sisters pour drinks, Morgan dealt the cards and Jimmy explained the rules to Dean. They played for match sticks, and after a few hands, Dean had a tidy pile in front of him and Cas. As the game progressed, lunch was served and the men wheedled a few stories out of Dean about his experience with cards. The hunter told a few tales of winning big at the poker tables, but Castiel and Jimmy could both here the nervous and uncomfortable tone underneath his laugh.   
  
    "We should take you to Vegas," Christy said with a laugh, pushing her matchsticks across the table toward him as Morgan shuffled the cards for the next hand.   
  
    "I'll have to wear a disguise," Dean replied, grinning at Castiel who had placed a supportive hand on the hunter's thigh. Dean covered Cas's hand with his own, squeezing it gently.   
  
    It was then that the phone rang, and the eldest Novak sister rose from her seat and answered it. She gave an odd look of surprise, her eyes flicking between her siblings as she spoke.  
  
    "Hi daddy," she began, and the room became quiet as the conversation happened on the other end of the phone. "Oh... of course," Christy continued. "No, that's no problem. We just had lunch, but there's plenty left... oh... okay... See you soon."  
  
    Sarah and Jimmy rose from the table, the younger of the siblings picking up the pitcher of wine and taking it into the kitchen. Sarah raised an eyebrow as her sister hung up the phone.   
  
    "Well, that was dad," Christy explained to the room at large. "He said he heard that Dean and Cas were visiting, and he wanted to speak to them before they left, so... he's on his way over."  
  
    "I'm sorry if I've caused any inconvenience," Castiel spoke, but Dean kept a supportive hold on his hand.   
  
    "It's not that," Jimmy insisted. "This has nothing to do with you-"  
  
    "I would appear to have everything to do with me," Cas rebutted, "As he wants to speak to me."  
  
    "I'm pretty sure this can be civil," Dean interjected, rising from his chair. "The man doesn't want to cause a scene in front of his grandchildren. He wants to speak with both of us, so I can make sure this goes down nice." No one questioned Dean's ability to do just that. "Now, I'm going to go change the baby and put her down for a nap. Cas, you want to get the crib from the car?"  
  
    "I got it," Jimmy answered, leaving the room. A tense, awkward silence followed, and the adults sort of milled around in the living room, watching Dean take care of the infant while Jimmy sat up the small travel crib in the center of the room. Once Mary was changed and redressed, Castiel handed him the bottle he just made and Dean sat quietly feeding the baby. Just as Mary was nodding off, the sound of car doors could be heard from the driveway. Sarah opened the door before the new arrivals could knock or ring the bell.  
  
    "Mom, Dad," she spoke, smiling warmly and ushering them inside. "Glad you could make it."  
  
    "We're sorry to interrupt your 'kids only' gathering," Mrs. Novak spoke with the same kind smile, "But we wanted to get one last chance to see the boys before they went back to California."  
  
    "We got a few hours," Dean told her with a grin, rising from the sofa with a sleepy baby in his arms. Mrs. Novak shed her coat and scarf, handing it to her daughter as she crossed to the hunter's side.   
  
    "Dean, she is so precious," she spoke softly, admiring the beauty in the baby's face as Mary continued to nurse at the bottle Dean held to her lips.   
  
    "She takes after Cas," Dean replied, "I was just about to put her down, but you can hold her if you want..."  
  
    Mrs. Novak gratefully took the child from his arms, setting back on the sofa and looking raptly down at the beautiful baby.  
  
    "Matthew," she spoke, not looking up at her husband. "Come in here and see her properly. This is what we came for, isn't it?"  
  
    Mr. Novak cleared his throat, earning the attention of the room. Dean took a deep breath, but couldn't help the tightness in his throat as his 'fight or flight' response began to rev up. Mr. Novak moved through the room, settling on the sofa at his wife's side, looking down into Mary's face. He watched her a moment, well aware that all eyes were on him. When he spoke, his voice was calm and quiet.   
  
    "She does look a lot like... like Castiel. At least... at that age..."  
  
    Dean could hear Jimmy's audible release of breath, and he turned to look at both the human and the Angel. Jimmy and Cas were watching the Novaks and little Mary, and Dean was struck at how odd it was - both men were identical, yet looked nothing alike. When he considered their features as individual points, yes, they looked alike, but to take in the totality - especially that Cas had just a bit longer hair and more facial hair - they really did just look like two brothers. Two kids from the same brood.   
  
    "I appreciate the sentiment, Mr. Novak," Castiel spoke softly, looking evenly back at the older man. "But you needn't force yourself to identify me as anything other than what I am - an Angel of Heaven that inhabits a vessel that is biologically identical to your child. You are not required to see _me_ as a child, as a son, or as any extension of your family. I have a father. I am quite comfortable with my own family."  
  
    "It's just that," Mr Novak replied, looking away from Castiel and down at his own hands. "You have a father. And I should have treated you differently out of respect for who your father is."  
  
    "No," Castiel replied, shaking his head. "I cannot ask for that. I am but an Angel. My father is perfect, but that does not mean I am. I... I have other brothers who have fallen worse than I, but I am not incapable of mistakes or wrongdoing. I just merely ask that you not judge me by man-made standards."  
  
    "I shouldn't judge you at all," the older man reasoned. "Yes, you're right, I think you are capable of mistakes. But we all are, and it's not my job to determine the relative weight of transgressions. My whole life I've tried to live what I thought was a righteous life, when this whole time... I was just as guilty. Of judgment and hubris and... and not showing love."  
  
    "Dad," Jimmy said quietly, but his father stopped him from speaking further.   
  
    "No, James, that's the truth," he replied. "You've shown yourself the bigger man by leading with love. You were chosen for divine purpose due to your faith." he looked back to Castiel. "I only hope you can forgive me."   
      
    The Angel solemnly shook his head.   
  
    "There is nothing to forgive, for I too have no right to judge. But, if it helps, I bear you no ill will."  
  
    Mr. Novak gave a small smile.   
  
    "Thank you,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    The lunch at Christy's turned into an impromptu dinner party as well, and the entire Novak/Winchester clan had a late night talking and enjoying each other's company. Castiel was persuaded to recall a few stories of his missions and work as a commander of the heavenly host. Dean watched him, proudly, as the Angel spoke of his responsibilities, eventually detailing the importance of free will and choosing one's own destiny, since all will be judged on their own choices and not the choices of others.   
  
    When the sun set, there was a heartfelt parting from the Novak sisters, each making the Winchesters promise to keep in touch. They returned to Jimmy and Amelia's house close to ten thirty and the baby was nearly as cranky as they were. They said their goodnights to their hosts and took the baby to bed, and another twenty minutes was consumed as she was walked and hummed to sleep.   
  
    "I'll be glad to be home again," Castiel said, sighing before raising his toothbrush back to his mouth. Dean grinned, wringing out his washcloth before running it over his face one last time, making sure there was no longer soap near his hairline or around his ears.   
  
    "Why do you say that?" he asked, curiously. Castiel shrugged, leaning down to rinse his mouth and spit the toothpaste into the sink.   
  
    "I miss our home," he explained. "I miss our bed... being a guest is exhausting."  
  
    The hunter chuckled, running a hand over Castiel's back and leaning in to place a kiss on the back of his neck.   
  
    "Well, in about twenty hours we'll be happily at home and you can go right to bed and nap to your heart's content."  
  
    "That's nice to hear," Cas agreed, turning to follow the younger man into the bedroom. They looked down on Mary to make sure she was sleeping peacefully, orajel and two deeply hummed guitar solos of 'smoke on the water' having effectively put her out for the night. Dean snapped off the lamp at his bedside and the room was now softly lit with just the one on Cas's bedside table. The two men settled against each other under the comforter and the Angel extinguished his lamp as well. They took another few moments to arrange themselves beneath the blankets, finding a comfortable slotting of arms and legs before relaxing into the mattress. This night, Dean found himself further down the bed than usual, his head tucked neatly beneath Cas's chin and his arms wrapped around the Angel's torso; one knee pressed between the other man's legs. He could feel Castiel press a kiss to the top of his head, and after the span of several heartbeats, Cas spoke.   
  
    "I will miss one thing,"  
  
    Dean didn't open his eyes, but he made a sound of interest to prompt the Angel to continue. Castiel pulled Dean closer into his chest.   
  
    "I will miss winter, as it lends itself much more to snuggling than the balmy consistency of California's weather." A smile spread across Dean's face and he turned to plant a kiss on the Angel's collarbone.   
  
    "Me too, baby," he murmured, his hand stroking absently over the Angel's skin. He had discovered over the course of the season, that Cas's temperature was cool in the summer and warm in the winter - deliciously, tantalizingly warm. "But, to be honest, the weather doesn't matter as long as I'm with you."  
  
    "Mmm..." was Castiel's sleepy reply, and Dean continued to absently stroke his back until the Angel was asleep. It wasn't long after before the hunter slipped into blissful unconsciousness himself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    The Winchesters and the Novaks considered going out for breakfast on Monday, but instead had another morning like the one before - everyone gathered in the kitchen, helping in the cooking process and chatting. Just after nine, Christy and Sarah came to say goodbye to the Winchesters and they shared a cup of coffee together as they talked. By ten thirty, Dean and Castiel had all of their belongings and souvenirs packed, and they said their final goodbyes. Claire hugged both Dean and Castiel, and she was allowed to hold Mary as the adults said their own farewells. Dean hugged Amelia tightly, putting a hand on her shoulder when he pulled away.  
  
    "You keep that boy in line, okay?" he teased. Amelia nodded wisely, giving a small smile in return.   
  
    "I'll say the same to Castiel," she told him. Castiel nodded his head.   
  
    "I will keep a close watch on Dean, Amelia. I assure you."  
  
    He didn't understand the laughter, but he was touched when the woman hugged him next.   
  
    "Take care, Castiel." she said. "Thank you for everything."  
  
    "We should be thanking you, for your hospitality. For everything," he replied.   
  
    "What's family for, huh?" Jimmy interrupted. "Well, we should hit the road so we're on time to the airport."  
  
    There was another rush of last minute hugs and sentiments of care before Dean and Cas strapped their baby into the car and Jimmy drove them to the airport. He stayed with them as they checked their luggage and hauled the carseat and carryon over to the gate.  
  
    "I'm going to miss you, brother," Dean said gruffly to Jimmy as he embraced the shorter man. "You keep me up to date on all that happens."  
  
    "Same here," Jimmy returned, clapping him firmly on the back. He turned to Cas, hugging the Angel as well. "You two have a safe flight. Call me when you land in California."  
  
    They agreed, gathering their belongings for the awkward trek through security. Dean looked back before they turned the corner through the terminal, raising a hand in parting while he could see see Jimmy. Jimmy returned the gesture before pushing his hands down into his pockets and turning away.   
  
    "It's gotta be hard," Dean sighed, setting the carseat down on one of the chairs and dropping the carryon on top of it. Castiel raised an eyebrow as he settled himself beside the luggage, situating the baby on his lap. Dean continued. "I mean, we have each other and Sam, mom, Jess and Bobby around. Jimmy... he's been through this whole supernatural thing and he's isolated in the middle of the Midwest."  
  
    Castiel considered these words and he absently smoothed down Mary's curls.   
  
    "Don't you want to move back to the Midwest someday?" he asked, turning to his husband. "Back to Kansas? Raise our family there?"  
  
    Dean thought about it. Would he want to return to where he started his life, raise his children in a state somewhat insulated from the rush of motion on the coasts.   
  
    "I don't know, Cas," Dean answered, shrugging. "There are certain things about the middle of the country I like - seasons, for one. Simplicity. But, California has the beach, it's seems healthier... I like our house..."  
  
    "I like our house too," Castiel said with a small smile. Dean had the urge to lean over and kiss him, but he settled back in his seat instead, waiting until they were called to board the plane. They were both lucky and cursed to get a direct flight for the return home, and while there wasn't the trouble of lugging their stuff to catch a connecting flight, Mary was not happy to be confined in the plane for so many hours. Dean and Castiel took turns walking her back and forth down the isles to keep her happy. They were both relieved to hear the Captain's overhead message that they were descending into San Jose.   
  
    Even though they were told it was not necessary, Sam, Jessica, Mary and Bobby were all waiting at the gate when Cas and Dean arrived. Dean grinned broadly at them, and Sam relieved him of the car seat before pulling him into a one-armed hug.  
  
    "Welcome home!" Sam exclaimed, turning next to Cas and hugging him as well. The baby screamed in delight at seeing Sam, reaching up to grab his hair when he leaned over her. "Hey baby girl! How was it?"  
  
    "It was great," Dean told him as the family moved down toward the luggage carousel. "Had a great time. Saw some really cool museums, hung out with the Novaks. It was a good time."  
  
    "Good," Sam replied. "Claire emailed me some photos - it _looks_ like you had a good time."  
  
    "What are you, some sort of stalker?" Dean asked with a grimace. Sam only laughed.   
  
    "I just asked her to take a few family pictures for a photo album, that's all." he explained.  "I know you aren't one for taking pictures. And this way, I get all three of you in the photos if someone else is taking them."  
      
    "It's still pretty sneaky," Dean told him. "I saw her taking shots once or twice, but I thought it was just for her..."  
  
    "They're really good pictures," Jessica assured him. "You guys look like you really had fun there." she looked up at the Angel she walked next to. "Did you?"  
  
    "It was pleasant," Castiel told her. "But tiring."  
  
     They laughed at Cas's honesty, and the group gathered the luggage and returned to the cars in the parking lot.  
  
    "Where's my baby?" Dean asked as they approached Bobby's dodge and Sam's ford. Sam shrugged.   
  
    "We couldn't bring three cars," he reasoned, opening the trunk and shoving the luggage inside. "Your baby is fine in the driveway at home."  
  
    Within half an hour, they were unloading the cars and bringing things inside. Mrs. Winchester took the baby from Cas and the Angel unpacked the luggage, sorting the dirty laundry from the things that hadn't been worn. He felt good to be home, standing in his own room, looking forward to sleeping in his own bed. Jessica came up to watch him as he sorted clothes into piles.  
  
    "Did Dean like the wallet?" she asked with a smile. She could see him smile back, even though his face was mostly downturned.  
  
    "Yes," he replied. "He bought me something as well - T-shirts to run in," he pulled the soft cotton garments from the gift bag they were still tucked inside and handed them to the blonde. "They're wonderful."  
  
    Jessica lifted each one, admiring the screen printing on the front.   
  
    "So Dean," she laughed. "how sweet of him."  
  
    "I'm looking forward to running in them." he told her. Jessica grinned, folding them neatly and placing them onto the bed.   
  
    "Sam's missed his running companion," she told him. "I think he's gotten used to having you along."  
  
    "I've missed Sam too," Castiel admitted. He was contemplative a moment before continuing. "Human emotion is quite extraordinary, and I am finding it an interesting study."  
  
    "What do you mean?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. Castiel sat down on the edge of the bed, folding his hands in his lap.   
  
    "Human relationships are varied and complicated. When I was first sent to serve Dean, it was only because he was the mission that differentiated him from all other humans to me. But the more time that I spent in his presence, the stronger our... bond." he smiled softly. "But, the increased time I spend with Sam - while it endears him to me - it doesn't... feel like it does with Dean."  
  
    "You love Dean," she replied with a smile. Castiel turned to her.   
  
    "I love Sam as well."  
  
    Jessica leaned forward, giving him a wide grin.   
  
    "But your not _in_ love with him."  
  
    "No," he agreed. "And I find that complicated... but I try to understand it... because humans can manage these multitude of relationships, that are so varied. And if I can love Sam and not be _in love_ with Sam, then it is the same for humans, correct?"  
  
    Jessica watched him quietly a moment, her voice soft when she spoke.   
  
    "Dean is in love with you Cas," she assured him. "... what are you thinking?"  
  
    "He is quite endeared to Jimmy and I don't..." he hesitated, his voice dropping. "I don't understand their bond. I'm not saying I don't trust Dean's fidelity, I know their relationship is not that type of affection. It's just... he didn't know Jimmy..."  
  
    "Jimmy brought you two together," she pointed out. "I think that's a basis for a pretty strong bond there," she smiled at him, touching his arm and getting him to look down at her. "Like us, huh? You brought Sam to me. I've loved you since day one."  
  
    Castiel's smile faltered a minute before he blushed and looked away.   
  
    "I love you as well," he told her. "You've done so much for me."  
  
    "Oh my gosh," she laughed, rising to her feet. "You've done so much for _me_. We'll just have to be even one day." She gathered all of the dark colored clothes into her arms. "I'll meet you downstairs," she told him, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the cheek. She had a broad grin as she returned downstairs, starting the laundry in the machine. She passed Dean in the hallway on her return, biting her lip as she murmured in a low tone. "I think your husband's a little tired."   
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow.  
  
    "Oh?" he asked. Jessica nodded, raising her own eyebrows, eyes wide,  but not elaborating. Dean grimaced, abandoning his mission to find himself something to eat and taking the stairs to the second floor instead. Cas was placing the empty suitcase in the bottom of the closet where it was usually stored when not in use. He turned to look at Dean when he entered the room, and the hunter grinned at him.  
  
    "All unpacked?" Dean asked, strolling over to the Angel and placing his hands on Cas's hips. Castiel nodded, his hands instinctively coming to rest on the other man's forearms.   
  
    "All except for the carryon bag with Mary's things in it. I'll do that next."  
  
    "Relax, baby," Dean said, pulling those slim hips forward. "We just got home. We got time."  
  
    "True," Castiel replied, and Dean watched the Angel's eyes blink slowly once, as he squinted back at the hunter. Dean leaned forward and placed kisses gently on Castiel's eyelids.   
  
    "You tired?" he asked, his hands slipping around to the older man's back. "You look exhausted."  
  
    "I'm a little tired," Cas admitted, but it did not take much coaxing from Dean for the Angel to lay his head on the other's shoulder. "But, I shouldn't nap before supper, or if this is a night when I will need sleep, I will not be able to when night falls." he sighed softly at the feel of Dean's hands stroking and kneading the muscles along his back. "This isn't helping..."  
  
    Dean chuckled, tilting his head to kiss along the shorter man's neck and jaw.   
  
    "I think it's early enough in the day for a nap," Dean told him. "Tell you what, I'm going to see if mom will watch the baby for a bit, and I'll come back up here and lay down with you for a little while? Hm? An hour won't hurt."  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before responding.   
  
    "Okay,"  
  
    "Good man," Dean replied, giving another kiss on the side of Cas's neck before pulling away. "Get undressed. I'll be right back up."  
  
    Dean returned downstairs where his mother sat in the living room next to Bobby, both were showering the baby with attention. His daughter giggled happily but she had to pause to yawn spectacularly.   
  
    "I feel her pain," Dean sighed, leaning on the back of the sofa. He reached down and rubbed the baby's belly. "Hey mom," he began, still slightly giddy by getting to utter the phrase (it was right up there with getting to say 'my husband' or 'my daughter'). "Cas and I are worn out from the flight. Would you mind watching Mary for a bit so we can nap? She'd probably sleep too if you put her down."  
  
    "Of course I don't mind," she replied. "You boys get some rest. I'll make you a nice, light dinner when you wake up. How's that sound?"  
  
    "Sounds good, mom," Dean replied, kissing her on the cheek. "Thanks."  
  
    Dean turned and jogged back up the staircase, returning to the bedroom and shutting the door. Castiel had stripped down to his boxers and was wearing a T-shirt, pulling back the comforter on the bed. Dean snapped off the lights, but afternoon sunshine cast a dim glow in the room through the room-darkening curtains. Dean kicked off his shoes and undid his pants, stepping out of the denim and pulling the socks along with them. His button down shirt was next, and he pulled off his t-shirt as well before sliding in to bed beside the Angel.   
  
    "C'mere, baby," he murmured, and Castiel let the hunter pull him into his arms. Dean rested his chin on the top of Cas's head as the Angel tucked his face down against his husband's chest. Cas slipped his arms around the hunter, giving a contented sigh as Dean slid his hands up and down his back. Dean held him closely, one hand resting on Castiel's hip, absently massaging the area beneath his palm as he thought about what the Angel could have been thinking or feeling for Jessica to think him cranky. "You alright?"  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before answering.   
  
    "Tired," he replied, lifting his head to look into Dean's eyes. "Very tired. My eyes are heavy and my joints ache... and I'm increasingly irritable."  
  
    Dean smirked, brushing the Angel's hair back off of his forehead.   
  
    "Increasingly irritable, hm?" he asked, amused. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the tip of Cas's nose. "About anything in particular?"  
  
    Castiel dropped his eyes, and even in the dim light Dean could see the blush rise to his face.   
  
    "No," came the deep, quiet response. Dean pulled the older man closer again, kissing the top of his head. He chuckled, sighing.  
  
    "Well, I hope it's nothing I did."  
  
    "Of course not, Dean," Castiel spoke before he could continue. "I'm just... just tired." he rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Dean leaned onto his arm to look down into Castiel's face.  "It's funny... I've become accustomed very quickly to our home and our life together, that it is a little... unsettling to step outside of this... new norm."  
  
    Dean placed a hand over the Angel's abdomen, gently stroking the skin beneath his T-shirt.   
  
    "I've gotten pretty used to this, too," he said quietly. "I used to think... that I'd never be happy," Cas looked over at Dean, whose eyes were watching the progress of his hand. "I mean, I used to think I would get by - have a crappy apartment, a crappy job, spend my nights and weekends in a bar playing pool and drinking beer, an occasional one night stand to break the monotony," he gave a weak chuckle. "I never thought I'd hit the jackpot... I love you so much, Cas... you make me so happy..."  
  
    "I love you, Dean," Castiel sighed, bringing a hand to Dean's cheek and leaning up to kiss him. Dean returned his kiss, his hand sliding around Cas's side and up his back as the Angel turned into his embrace. Their kiss was deep and passionate and perfect, and Dean groaned into Cas's mouth as the Angel pressed his body against the hunter's.   
  
    "Sleep, baby," Dean murmured between kisses. "We're... supposed... to sleep..."  
  
    "No," was the response. Dean noticed that the man in his arms had blushed deeper, since their faces were so close, and he chuckled as he pushed the Angel back into the mattress.   
  
    "You can barely keep your eyes open," Dean murmured, kissing Cas on the throat, his hand sliding down the Angel's belly and palming him firmly through his boxers. "You should sleep."  
  
    "Your words," Castiel breathed, "and your actions... are... contradictory..." he moaned, placing his hand over Deans and grinding up into the delicious friction. Dean felt his mouth go dry. Cas really was tired. Tired and horny. Dean captured the Angel's mouth, kissing him hungrily as he continued to massage his shaft through the soft cotton. Dean was torn between the delicious softness of the other man's mouth and his desire to look down and watch the Angel's devilish hips as they rocked against his hand.   
      
    Castiel pulled the hunter into his arms, his hands delving into Dean's spikey hair as they kissed each other with increasing fervor. Dean pulled his hand from the Angel's erection, grabbing his thigh instead and pulling it up over his hip. Cas moaned as their bodies pressed against one another, the aching hardness of his shaft separated from Dean's by just two thin layers of fabric.   
  
    "Cas," Dean panted, his lips hungrily tasting across Cas's jaw and down his throat. He groaned as Castiel continued to rock against him. "Cas... If we don't pump the breaks on this, I'm gonna come on ya... instead of in ya."  
  
    "You can come on me," Castiel gasped, "I don't mind."   
  
    "Fuck," Dean groaned, pushing the Angel onto his back and rolling over on top of him. He pushed himself to his knees, stripping the Angel of his boxers. Cas's erection stood taut against his belly, and Dean leaned down, overcome with the instinct to drag his tongue over the swollen, glistening tip.   
  
    Cas hissed, his fingers threading into Dean's hair and he spread his thighs wider in reaction to the younger man's attention. His eyes pressed closed and his chest heaved as Dean continued to lap at his aching flesh.   
  
    "You like this, baby," Dean asked, closing his fingers around the Angel's shaft and pumping his fist in long, even strokes.   
  
    "Yes," Castiel grunted, his hands in his own hair as he looked down into Dean's grinning face. Dean winked, lowering his head again and taking the Angel's shaft completely into his mouth. It occurred to him, as he bobbed his head up and down, that this was the first time he ever really performed this act with the intention of bringing Cas to release. The last and only time, was merely to provide a little foreplay. Now - and the humor wasn't lost on him that he would have ever thought this - he wanted to give the Angel new meaning to the word 'pleasure'.   
  
    There was something obscenely satisfying in the way Castiel tasted, sweet and bitter, and Dean slid his tongue across the weeping slit every time he raised his head. Cas was moaning softly with each breath, a moan catching in his throat when the hunter began to massage the tight sac beneath his shaft.   
  
    "Dean... _Dean...Please..._ "  
  
    "Please what, baby?" Dean asked, stroking the hot, slick flesh of Cas's erection. "What do you want?"  
  
    Castiel was breathing heavily, and he shook his head.  
  
    "I..." he replied weakly. "I want... release..."  
  
    "I'll get ya there," Dean assured him, pressing Cas's thighs wider as he dropped his head once again.   
  
    Cas moaned loudly, the feeling of Dean's mouth working it's way down his shaft; his lips sucking warm, wet kisses on his testicles; and then his tongue was laving like molten velvet where his tongue really shouldn't be.  
  
    " _Dean_!" Castiel exclaimed, his hips bucking in surprise, but his next sound was a strangled moan of pleasure.   
  
    "I got ya, Cas," Dean murmured, before drawing his tongue once again across the Angel's tight opening. "Relax for me, baby,"  
  
    Castiel groaned, pressing his hands over his face and his hips twisted helplessly as Dean's hot, wet, and beautiful - oh so beautiful - tongue slid and flicked and pressed against his entrance. Castiel was whispering his husband's name over and over again, and he could feel the hunter chuckle.   
  
    Dean was happy to give the Angel pleasure, and every sound he could draw from Castiel's lips was music. And, although he may not ever admit it out loud, every lick, every taste, made him want more; to push Cas closer to the end, to do things to Cas that only _he_ could do.   
  
    Castiel made an incoherent sound from deep in his throat as he felt the hunter's tongue push into his body, and the chanting quickly resumed. Dean felt fingers draw gently through his hair, and he reached up to take Castiel's hand a moment, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Cas's thighs were starting to tremble, and Dean pulled back, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before collecting a measure of saliva on his fingers. Cas was watching him through heavy, half-lidded eyes and Dean blushed as he dropped his mouth once again to the Angel's weeping erection, his fingers gently circling Cas’s opening before he slid one finger inside.   
  
    Cas's eyes closed and his fists twisted in the sheets. He bit his lip, his hips beginning to rock on their own accord, pushing him deeper into Dean's mouth, harder against Dean's hand. He grunted when he felt a second finger join the first, and Dean pressed firmly until his fingertips struck fire inside the Angel. Castiel gasped, not knowing whether to pull his thighs together, or open them wider.   
  
    "Dean," he hissed, his hips twisting as tension coiled somewhere deep inside himself. "Dean I'm... I'm..."  
  
    His words seemed to only make the hunter press harder, his free hand fisting at the base of Castiel's shaft. Castiel squeezed his eyes closed and a whine issued from his throat when he could fight the pressure no longer.   
  
    Dean had a split second warning when he felt Cas's testicles pull tightly against his body and the muscles of his entranced convulsed around Dean’s fingers before a hot stream of fluid spilled onto his tongue. Dean didn't swallow immediately, as his gut reaction was to pull back, and the liquid collected in the cup of his tongue and he swallowed it in one. He barely swallowed before Cas came again, and Dean was able to choke it back without making a sound. He continued to slowly stroke the Angel's shaft as he felt Castiel's body relax under him and he sat back on his heels. Dean affectionately ran a hand over the Angel's thigh, watching his chest rise and fall as he tried to calm his breathing. Dean leaned over, laying a gentle kiss on the older man's collar bone, and he was surprised when Cas enveloped him in his arms.   
  
    "I'm not too tired if you... if you need to..." Cas began, but the words were cut off as he tried to stifle a yawn. Dean chuckled, rolling to lay at his husband's side and pulled him into his arms.   
  
    "I'm good baby," Dean assured him, letting Cas lay comfortably against his chest. "You can get me later."  
  
    "...Okay," Came Cas's quiet reply. Dean grinned, his tongue licking the corner of his mouth where the sweet, earthy taste of his husband still lingered. Yeah, he could definitely do that again.   
  
    After a few moments, when Dean was sure that the Angel should already asleep, Cas's muffled, tired voice broke the quiet of the dim room.   
  
    "Tell me you love me, Dean," he asked softly. Dean's brows drew together and he kissed the Angel's forehead before he replied.   
  
    "I love you, Cas."  
  
    Castiel was quiet another moment before he spoke again.  
  
    "... and I'm your friend?... you're still my friend?..."  
  
    Dean frowned, tightening his hold on the other man.  
  
    "You're my best friend, Cas," he insisted. "I've told you that."  
  
    "Tell me it will never change."  
  
    "Never," Dean said. He felt Cas cuddle in closer, and his words were even more muffled and sleepily quiet than the last.  
  
    "I love you, Dean," he said. "I just want to be yours."  
  
    The expression made Dean smile, in spite of his worry over what the Angel was thinking. He pressed another kiss firmly to the soft, chestnut waves.   
  
    "You better believe it, baby," he murmured. "We belong to each other."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
      
   
    Although Dean was pretty tired himself, he lay awake holding Castiel in his arms as he tried to consider what was going on in the Angel's mind. It didn't take too much thought - Dean was pretty smart, and as much as he claimed to not be a 'feelings' kind of guy, he wasn't oblivious to them. If Cas was asking for reassurance of not just love, but friendship, he was feeling threatened. Either Dean wasn't acting in his usual 'friendship' manner with the Angel, or he was acting too friendly with someone else. That only other someone just happened to be Cas's look-alike.   
  
    He sighed, shifting beneath the other man and keeping him cuddled against his chest. It was a testament to Dean's true affection for the Angel; he wasn't a cuddler by nature, not just with anyone. But this man did something to him, made him the happiest he could ever imagine being; calmed him, made him feel safe and want to protect him at the same time. And even though Dean had been with too many women to count, Cas set him on fire with sexual desire, made him hunger for it like he'd never known. Which wasn't too much trouble, considering Castiel seemed to have a healthy appetite for physical affection.    
  
    After an hour of holding the sleeping Angel, Dean woke him gently by placing kisses on Castiel's bare shoulder.   
  
    "Rise and shine, Angel," he murmured, running his hand up Castiel's arm. The Angel stretched, groaning as his muscles resisted the motion. "Come on baby, hour's up," Dean continued, sitting up. Castiel buried his face in the pillows and lay still for a second before his rolled onto his back, squinting up at Dean.  
  
    "It's already been an hour?" he asked groggily.   
  
    "Yep," Dean replied, holding out his hand for his husband. Castiel sighed, reaching out and taking Dean's hand and letting him pull him from the bed. "You'll feel better after a shower."  
  
    Castiel continued to scowl and it only made Dean chuckle. He turned the shower on a nice warm temp, cool enough to wake them up without being uncomfortable. Dean stepped into the shower behind the Angel, soaping up a washcloth and running it over Castiel's body, staring with the back of his neck and shoulders before working his way down. Castiel smirked when he felt Dean plant a kiss on his buttock as he spread the soapy suds down each leg.   
  
    "Thank you, Dean," he spoke, turning toward the hunter and letting him scrub his chest.   
      
    "My pleasure," Dean assured him, kissing the Angel. They paused washing for a moment, getting lost in each other’s mouth and the water washed all the suds down the Angel's body.   
  
    "Your turn," Castiel said, pulling away from the hunter and adding more soap to the washcloth. Dean smirked, but let the older man dutifully wash him, and he was quite thorough and straightforward. Dean pulled the shower head from the wall, rinsing his body and making sure Cas was soap free as well before turning off the tap. They got out of the shower and dried off, and Dean moved to the sink to finish cleaning up while Cas returned to the bedroom for boxers and pants. He returned to Dean's side as the hunter was scrutinizing his jaw in the mirror, deciding on whether or not he should shave. Castiel observed him quietly. "You're very handsome, Dean," he spoke honestly. Dean grinned, but blushed at the compliment.   
  
    "Thank you," he murmured, reaching for the shaving cream. He noticed Cas in the mirror; the Angel seemed to open his mouth to speak, but stopped himself. "What?" Dean asked. It was Castiel's turn to blush.   
  
    "I... like it like that..." he said quietly. Dean smirked, dropping the can of shaving cream and turning to the Angel. He kissed the other man firmly on the side of the throat as he passed. Castiel smiled, following behind as they left the room.   
  
    As the two came into the living room, they were greeted by the happy squeals of their daughter. Dean grinned widely, holding out his hand and taking the baby from Bobby's arms.   
  
    "Hey precious!" he spoke, placing vigorous kisses on the baby's neck. She screamed with delight, her tiny fingers closing onto Dean's face and she cooed with absolute love as they looked at each other. "Did my baby girl take a nap, hm?" Dean asked, settling onto the sofa next to Bobby.   
  
    "Nah," Bobby told him. "She talked me into watching the Redskins game."  
  
    Dean's eyes grew wide and he looked at the baby in mock surprise.   
  
    "I hope you weren't betting on it!" he said before turning to the hunter. "Where's mom?"  
  
    "She ran up to the store," Bobby replied. "Said we needed a few things for supper."  
  
    "Hm," Dean remarked, tucking the baby into the bend of his arm and he watched the game playing out on the television. "Cas, buddy," he called over his shoulder. "Come watch this."  
  
    Sam watched from the kitchen as the Angel moved to settle next to his brother. Dean switched the baby from the his arm to lay over his shoulder, and Mary cuddled into the crook of her father's neck, her tiny hand opening and closing against his skin. Sam smiled, pushing himself away from the counter he was leaning on and walked down the hallway to his room. Jessica was setting on the floor, placing pictures into stacks.   
  
    "What's this?" he asked with a smile, setting down on the edge of the bed to watch her. Jessica beamed up at him.   
  
    "I'm sorting the pictures," she told him. She began pointing to each pile. "These are from the wedding - I'm really sorry I missed that," she added with a frown. "These are Dean and Cas. These are you and Dean. These are you and Dean and your mom. These are you and your brother and Bobby. These are you and Cas. These are you and me. And these," she pointed to the largest stack and smiled broadly. "These are the baby. Most of us are in these too, but it's mostly little Mary. For Christmas, I was thinking of giving Dean and Castiel a scrapbook of their family." she pushed through one of the piles and picked out a photo. "Are these two really Castiel's brothers?" she asked.  
  
    Sam took the photo, smirking down at Gabriel and Balthazar, standing on their side of a sour looking Cas, grinning broadly and holding up bottles of champagne. Sam shook his head and handed it back.  
  
    "Yep." he replied. "But, like Cas, they have human vessels. I don't think the vessels are related in any way."  
  
    "Vessels," Jessica repeated, shaking her head. "It seems so weird to think Cas wasn't born in that body. I just can't imagine him any other way."  
  
    "Yeah," Sam agreed. He turned his attention back down to the pictures on the floor. "Well, this is really sweet of you. I think they'll love it."  
  
    Jessica smiled down at the photos.  
  
    "From what you've told me of your brother, and what I've gotten to know of him, he's come a long way. He seems so happy and relaxed."  
  
    "He is," Sam agreed, taking a deep breath and leaning his hands back on the mattress. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see him happy. I mean, I gotta admit, I wasn't so sure at first," he grinned sheepishly at Jessica. "When he first told me about him and Cas... I was shocked. I mean, yeah, they used to give each other these long, intense looks; and seriously invade each other's personal space - but, I'd never thought Dean would actually... give in."  
  
    “Because Cas’s vessel is a boy?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
    Sam shook his head, sighing.   
  
    “No. Because I never thought he’d let himself be happy...” they were quiet for a moment before Sam’s smile returned. “I’m really glad he had the courage to take that road. They mean the world to each other. It’s obvious.”  
  
    Jess giggled, rising to her feet.   
  
    "They seem incredibly compatible," she agreed, crossing to the bed where Sam sat. "Their attraction is almost contagious..."  
  
    Sam's grin faltered as Jessica slid into his lap, bringing her hands to his face and kissing him. Sam brought his hands to her waist, tilting his head and letting her deepen the kiss. After a moment, he gently pulled away.   
  
    "I'm gonna go see if mom is home..." he said softly. "See if she needs help with dinner..."  
  
    Jessica frowned, moving to his side. Sam didn't stand, staring at the floor. He could feel her eyes on him.   
  
    "Gee..." she spoke quietly, her hand softly touching his. "Are you... do you regret my coming back?"  
  
    "No!" Sam insisted, turning where he sat to take her hands. "No, Jess. No. How could you think that?"  
  
    Jessica arched an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side.   
  
    "Are we not going to discuss the elephant in the room?" she asked, and Sam averted his gaze. "Sam, I've been back almost a month. Aren't you going to..." she sighed. "Aren't we going to make love?"   
  
    Sam's expression fell and there was a pained look in his eyes. He turned away, staring back down at the floor.   
  
    "I mean, I love sleeping beside you," she told him, reaching up to brush a bit of hair back behind his ear. "I love the way you hold me. But Sam - I _miss_ you. I miss that connection."  
  
    "I know," he replied, "I do too... it's just... " his voice trailed off and he became quiet. Jessica watched him, waiting for him to continue. Sam rubbed his hands together nervously. "I love you Jess. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. More than I could ever _imagine_ loving anyone."  
  
    "Then I don't understand," she said softly. Sam closed his eyes, bringing his hands to his face.   
  
    "When you were gone," he began again, his voice quiet and full of regret. "I did... things. Things I'm not proud of..."  
  
    "Sam," she said, scooting closer and placing a hand on his thigh. "You did what you had to do-"  
  
    "I'm not just talking about the violence..." he admitted, ashamed, but he couldn't continue. He could feel Jessica's hand gently stroke his leg. Her voice was soft and gentle when she spoke.   
  
    "Did you think I expected you to become a monk?" she asked him. "You think I didn't ask about your well-being? Ask if you were being cared for?"  
  
    Sam looked up at her, shock plain on his face. Jessica tilted her head to the side, bringing her fingers to his cheek.   
  
    "I know about the other girls, Sam," she told him. "I don't look at you any differently. Why should you?"  
  
    Sam shook his head, standing up and pushing his hands through his hair.   
  
    "I feel... dirty," he told her, "I don't feel... good enough for you."  
  
    "Sam!" she gasped. "How could you think that? I love you!" she grabbed hold of his arm and forced him to look down at her. "You've never judged me for my other partners, why do you think that I would judge you?"  
  
    "That's different, Jess," he replied, exasperation creeping into his voice. "You were in relationships-"  
  
    "Not always," she interrupted, earning a grim frown.   
  
    "You were with regular people. I... I slept with a demon, Jess." he looked intensely into her eyes, searching for any hint of anger or disgust. "A demon in the body of an innocent girl. A _dead_ girl." He had to pull his eyes away. His voice was defeated and small when he finished. "How can I ever expect you to forgive me?..."  
  
    Jessica stared back at him. She took a deep breath.   
  
    "I don't forgive you," she said simply. Her words caused him to look up, panicked and sick. Jessica tilted her head to the side, reaching out to place her hands on his arms. "There is nothing to forgive. Samuel Mason Winchester - I love you. If you think for one second that I could consider how that woman used you and tricked you and _deceived_ you as _your_ fault." she was the one who was exasperated now. "I would be a monster. It's not like you had sex with a dead body," she added, frowning. "I'm studying to be a nurse. There are people walking this earth right now who were at one point called legally dead and came back - without supernatural intervention." She shook him slightly, more for emphasis than attention. "Fine. You tell me this - honestly:" Sam looked down at her, trying to will away the tears in his eyes. "Was there any of those woman you were with that meant more to you than me? That you gave more than just your body to?"  
  
    Sam frowned. No, there was no one he had been with that even came close to what he felt for Jess. Even Madison, who he had a connection with, was nothing like the funny, caring, and charming blonde. Jess was the woman he spent his life looking for again, looking for small bits of her in every woman he saw.   
  
    "No," he whispered. "But-"  
  
    "But nothing," she replied. Jessica stepped close to him, reaching up to cup his face. "If you love me and I love you, Sam, that is all that matters. That is _all_ ," Both of them looked to the ceiling as they could here movement that indicated Mrs. Winchester was probably home. Jessica took a breath. "I remember one of the first conversations we had was how you were worried that Dean was going to screw things up with Cas because he was determined to feel like he wasn't worth happiness. Even when Dean tried to use the facts of what happened in Hell, you wouldn't let him. Cas wouldn't let him. Well I'm not going to let you." she smiled, her hands sliding down his arms to take his hands. "When we first met, I gave you some space to stew about how your family made you different from everyone else before I made my move on you. So now, you've had a month." her smiled widened. "So tonight, I'm making my move Winchester. You got me?"  
      
    Sam tried to smile, but the emotion he was feeling just made his mouth pull into a tight line. Jessica's voice was still full of confidence and determination, but it grew softer.   
  
    "Unless you don't want that."  
  
    Sam shook his head, bringing his own hands to Jessica's face and leaning down to kiss her hard on the mouth. Her arms slid around his neck and he dropped his hands, squatting only slightly to run his palms down the back of her thighs and pull her effortlessly into his arms. His eyes squeezed shut, pushing back the tears that threatened to fall.   
  
    "I love you Sam," Jess whispered, kissing his face and nuzzling his throat as the young hunter set down on the bed, keeping her securely in his lap. "I will always love you. You and your brother seem dead set on always feeling like you are not worthy enough for good things. For happiness. You can't feel that it's okay for Dean and not for you. And Dean deserves it. You do too."  
  
    "I'm sorry," Sam whispered. "I wasn't trying to... to neglect you. I was trying to... I dunno... protect you, I guess..."  
  
    "I don't need protecting from you," she replied. "I want everything about you."  
  
    Sam tried to smile again, but he still felt unsure. He wanted to be with Jessica. Wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But part of him was unsure, unsure if he were really good enough for her now.   
  
    "Come on," she spoke softly, moving from his lap to stand. "Let's go upstairs and help Mary with supper."  
  
    Sam nodded, and rose to follow. Everyone upstairs was gathered in the kitchen as Mrs. Winchester was unloading the grocery bags. She was speaking in a calm "mom" voice to Dean and Castiel.   
  
    "It isn’t a bad time, boys," she was saying. Dean was grimacing, and Castiel looked slightly pale. Sam frowned.   
  
    "What's going on?" Sam asked, sniffing back the last of his emotion as though he were only experiencing a bit of allergies.   
  
    "Mary is going to get married and go to college," Castiel said, stricken. Mrs. Winchester chuckled and Sam balked.   
  
    " _What_?" he asked.   
  
    "He's talking about the baby," Mary laughed. "And she's not grown up yet, Castiel." she turned to Sam and Jessica. "Mary is getting teeth now. It's not a bad time to start her on some solid foods. So, I bought a couple jars of fruit and veggies, and some rice cereal - just in case. I'm not saying you have to start tonight, but..."  
  
    "Wow," Sam remarked, looking at his brother's grim face. He turned to Cas. The Angel looked crestfallen. "She's not growing up that fast," he said supportively, patting his brother-in-law on the back.   
  
    Mrs. Winchester put the offending infant food away and she and Sam set to making dinner, which consisted of homemade  creamy squash soup with crunchy olive oil crustini and salad. After dinner, Dean grabbed a beer and motioned Sam to join him on the back porch. Last week, Dean had given in to buying a small patio set so they could enjoy the weather. The idea of eating outdoor in the sunshine or under the setting sun had appealed to Castiel, and Dean had a horrible sense of foreboding that he wouldn't be able to say no to any of the Angel's whims. Of course, the hunter himself had an eye on a nice bronze fire pit - but he wasn't sure that he should make the expense.   
  
    The brothers settled around the table. Dean put his feet up in a second chair, taking a large swallow of beer and sighing.   
  
    "We need to have more meals like that," he said, resting his hand on his stomach. "I need to lose a few pounds. This FBI life is gonna make me flabby."  
  
    "You could always work out," Sam suggested with a smirk. Dean scoffed.   
  
    "You can jazzercise all you want, Sammy, but not this guy."  
  
    Sam laughed. He wanted so badly to make a comeback about Dean's masculinity, but he felt that jokes like that just weren’t funny anymore - not that they were really ever funny when Dean was the one saying them. The brothers sat in silence a moment before Sam spoke.   
  
    "So... you gonna start the baby on cereal tomorrow?"  
  
    Dean sighed heavily, shaking his head.   
  
    "I guess... I mean, she's getting teeth, might as well start solid food. She's only a little over four months old Sam! Why does that seem so small and yet... so big?"  
  
    Sam smiled, shaking his head.  
  
    "Because she's your daughter, Dean," he replied. "She'll be your baby even when she's your age."  
  
    Dean was quiet a moment before he spoke.   
  
    "I still can't believe I have a daughter," he said. "Sometimes, I feel this is all a dream. That my real life is one where I'm struggling to make ends meet and things are shitty and I don't really have a thing to my name..."  
  
    "Well, it's not," Sam told him.   
  
    "I know," Dean replied, taking another drink. "Don't think I don't appreciate every second of this."  
  
    Sam nodded, understanding. This shift was a lot to take in.   
      
    The two hunters spent a few moment in companionable silence, watching the slate blue sky turn navy, and they continued sipping beer. After a few moments, Dean spoke.  
  
    "You and Jessica okay?" he asked, not turning to look at his brother.   
  
    "Yeah," Sam answered, surprised by the question. "Why?"  
  
    Dean shrugged.   
  
    "Just asking..."  
  
    Sam's brows drew together, and he watched his brother quietly a moment. He supposed he was okay - wanted to be okay. He would just have to try his best to move on. If Dean could, he could.  
  
    "Yeah, we're okay," he said, leaning back in his chair. "Yeah..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
      
    That night, Dean shared a bath with a happy, splashing baby, and had to shower right after when she just as happily peed in the tub. Once both of them were dried and dressed in pajamas, Dean lay next to his tiny daughter as she kicked and cooed, the smile unable to leave his face.  
  
    “You want me to take her?”  
  
    Dean turned toward the bedroom door where his mother stood, also dressed for bed.  
  
    “Sorry mom,” he spoke, pulling the baby into his arms as he got up. “I keep forgetting that she needs to be in bed if you want to be in bed. We should have moved the crib in here again. We could set the travel crib up in here if it’s easier-”  
  
    “Absolutely not,” Mary told him. “I don’t mind. I’ve always been a night owl, so I don’t mind being up a while. I just want to give you and Cas a chance to get some sleep since you boys have been so worn out today. Besides,” she smiled at the baby, touching the child’s honey-blonde hair. “I like spending quality time with my granddaughter.”  
  
    Dean grinned.  
  
    “You should come live with us, mom,” he began, continuing quickly before she could interrupt. “Or at least move nearer to us. I want you to see Mary grow up and I... I want you to be nearby...”  
  
    Mary smiled softly, learning up to touch her son’s cheek.   
  
    “I know sweetheart,” she told him, brushing her thumb across his cheekbone. Dean couldn’t help but lean in to the caress; it felt good to have his mom, which is why he wanted her close. “I’m still trying to figure a few things out. And after all that Bobby’s done, well, I like helping him around the salvage yard. Some of his bookkeeping - goodness!”  
  
    Dean smiled although he knew that ‘figuring a few things out’ was probably parent-speak for ‘trying to figure out what to do with John’.   
  
    “Well, you really should move closer.” Dean told her. Mary smiled.   
  
    “Where’s Castiel?” she asked, changing the subject. Dean turned back toward the bathroom door.   
  
    “He was taking a shower.” he replied. Mary lifted the baby out of Dean’s hands and cuddled her close.   
  
    “Well, I’ll wait a bit to turn in so he can say goodnight to her. I’ll be just across the hall,”  
  
    “We’ll come by,” Dean told her, still smiling softly as he watched his mother carry the baby into the next room. Dean sighed, shutting the door just as the bathroom door opened and Castiel emerged in a haze of steam. Dean raised an eyebrow at the Angel’s damp and irritable countenance. “Problem?” he asked. Cas grimaced, using a spare towel to mop the water from his neck and chest.   
  
    “I read that hot showers can help one to relax enough for sleep,” he said, his voice clearly unamused by the situation and the advice. “However, it is ten o’clock and instead of being tired, I am awake as any other day in my life.” Dean took the towel from him, assisting in drying his back and arms. The Angel continued to vent. “I can only surmise that once dawn comes, I will fall asleep and then be tired the entirety of the day.”  
  
    “Stressing out about it isn’t going to help,” Dean told him. “Tell ya what - you get in bed, and I will help you fall asleep. Guaranteed.”  
  
    “Is this a flirtation?” Castiel grumbled as he walked to the dresser to pull out a pair of cotton sleep pants.    
  
    “You’ll see,” Dean chuckled, “I’ll be right back.” he left the room then, padding softly downstairs and grabbing the keys to the Impala from where they hung at the family station near the door.   
  
    “Where you goin’, kid?” Bobby asked him. The older hunter had insisted that he get the couch on this visit and was reclining on the sofa watching a documentary on the History channel.   
  
    “Just to get something out of the car,” Dean replied, pushing his feet into Sam’s too big tennis shoes and stepping out into the cool evening air. He got into the passenger side of the Impala, opened the glove compartment and pulled out a battered and well worn paperback novel. Just as quickly, since the evening chill seemed to cut right though the thin fabric of his pants and shirt, Dean locked the door and let it slam so he could return to the house. He called “G’night, Bobby” as he passed, leaving Sam’s shoes where he had found them by the door. When he returned to the second floor, he found Cas in the nursery speaking with Mary.   
  
    “You should try some warm milk,” Mrs. Winchester was saying. “I’ll go make you some. I’ll be right back,” as she passed Dean in the hallway, she murmured “Poor dear,” and gave Dean a sympathetic look on Cas’s behalf. Dean walked to the nursery, leaning on the doorframe as he watched his husband pace a small section of floor in front of the crib, their tiny daughter resting her head on his shoulder. He was happy that the Angel had learned he should wear a shirt when around the rest of the house, even though Dean preferred him without.   
  
    “At least _she’s_ tired,” Castiel commented, smoothing down the back of the baby’s curls and kissing her cheek. Dean pushed himself from the wall, crossing to the Angel and gently pressing his lips to Castiel’s.   
  
    “We’ll get you down too,” Dean told him with a soft smile. He ran a hand over the older man’s arm. “Even if I have to call the sandman - I’d then have to gank him, of course, but maybe I could steal his magic sand first.”  
  
    Castiel’s brows raised in amusement, but his reply was dry.  
  
    “I don’t know what that means, but I appreciate your support.” he kissed the baby again, whispering quietly into her ear as he walked her to the crib. Dean’s soft smile remained as he watched them. There was something sweet in the way Castiel prayed over Mary in Enochian before he lay her down, and part of him wondered if it was anything like the prayer Cas said for him every night. Part of him also wondered if it was the same prayer Dean had started saying when they were blessed with a child.   
  
    “Here you are, Cas,” Mrs. Winchester spoke upon her return, handing the Angel a tall, coffee house style mug filled with warm milk. “There is a bit of nutmeg for flavor. It should help you sleep.”  
  
    “Thank you, Mary,” Castiel replied, taking the mug. “I appreciate it, truly. I will try my best to sleep.”  
  
    “Don’t even worry about it,” Mary advised. “If you worry about falling asleep, you’ll never get any rest. Just let it happen.”  
  
    “I will,” he assured her. Dean leaned over to kiss his mother on the cheek.  
  
    “Thanks, mom,” he said, hugging her as well. “You sleep well.”  
  
    Dean followed Cas back to their room and he shut the door, turning off the overhead light when Castiel turned on the lamp. Cas pulled his T-shirt off and folded it neatly, placing it on the bedside table before climbing into the thick, down bedding beside his husband.   
  
    “What is that?” he asked, nodding toward the book in the hunter’s hand as he took a long sip from his mug. Dean smiled, situating all of the pillows on the bed to make a comfortable reclining space for the pair.   
  
    “It’s a book,” he replied. “Whenever I find that I’m having trouble sleeping, I read a book. So tonight,” he said with a broad smile. “I’m going to read to you.”  
  
    Castiel took the worn out book into his hand as Dean settled in, and the Angel lay back against the hunter’s chest.  
  
    “You’ve read this a lot,” he observed, his fingertips traveling over the creases in the cover and the spots where the outter layer of print had come away from the cardstock. “It’s... well used.”  
  
    “Well, I can’t claim all the credit,” Dean laughed, taking the book back from Cas and wrapping one arm around him as he folded back the cover to the opening chapter with his free hand. “I bought this from a library book sale when I was just a kid. Ten cents. I used some of the change from my lunch money. One of my best deals ever.”  
  
    Castiel looked up at Dean, but didn’t comment on the odd pang he felt over Dean purchasing the book second hand, with money that should have went for food. Dean raised his hand and tucked the Angel’s head back down against his chest.  
  
    “Close your eyes. Try to relax.”  
  
    Castiel did as told, closing his eyes and relaxing back into the strong warmth of Dean’s chest. Dean cleared his throat, pulling Cas in comfortably as he began to read.   
  
    “All Quiet on the Western Front, by Erich Maria Remarque... chapter one... _We are at rest five miles behind the front. Yesterday, we were relieved, and now our bellies are full of beef and haricot beans. We are satisfied and at peace. Each man has another mess-tin full for the evening; and, what is more, there is a double ration of sausage and bread. That puts a man in fine trim. We have not had such luck as this for a long time. The cook with his carroty head is begging us to eat; he beckons with his ladle to everyone that passes, and spoons him out a great dollop. He does not see how he can empty his stewpot in time for coffee..._ ” Dean chuckled a moment, licking his lips. “This always made me hungry when I read it. Sausage and bread and beans always sounded better than cold cereal, or crackers and American cheese.”  
  
    “Hm,” Cas replied, turning his head just slightly so that his ear pressed against Dean’s chest. He could hear the lulling thump of the younger man’s heart and he tried not to imagine a child-age Dean reading about soldiers with full bellies while his was empty. Dean continued to read, the steady rumble of his voice and the beating of his heart making Castiel’s eyes heavy, and his breathing slowly deepened. Dean was reading out loud for half an hour before he noticed the Angel was sleeping. A smile tugged at his lips and he leaned down to place a kiss on the other man’s soft, chestnut hair before he settled back and continued to read to himself.   
  
~~~~~~~~~


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes,” Dean began slowly. “I don’t want what I got because I’m so freakin’ scared to lose it.”  
> “Dean,” Sam whispered, concerned and shocked. Dean grinned and shook his head.  
> “Don’t get me wrong Sammy. I want what I got. But when I really think about it - spouse, kid, home... it’s a little scary. Because it only hurts when you lose something you love. We’ve never had anything before but each other, and, well, ... you see how well I handle not having you around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess the premier of season 11 made me want to post some fluffy happiness, but it looks like all I found was porn! I didn't realize this story was so smutty! LOL. Well, I hope you like it. :)

    When Castiel woke the next morning, the lamp in the room was still on and the sky outside the bedroom curtains was a deep blue. He moved cautiously so as to not wake Dean, taking the worn-out copy of All Quiet on the Western Front and laying it gently on the nightstand. As he pulled away, Dean stirred, groaning slightly and curling into the spot Cas moved from. The Angel pulled the comforter up over Dean’s shoulder before clicking off the lamp and picking up his t-shirt. On the way to the bathroom, he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and socks from his dresser and shut the bathroom door before turning on the light. He went through the still unnecessary tasks of washing his face and brushing his teeth, determined to have all the human grooming routines down by the time they were necessary. Cas replaced his sleep pants for the sweats, and pulled on his socks, folding his pajamas and leaving them on the counter. He pushed his hands through his hair two or three times before turning the light off and stepping quietly back into the bedroom. His running shoes, which Dean had bought him the same week he had taken up the hobby, were by the door, and he kneeled down to pull them on, carefully knotting the laces so they would stay put during the run.  
  
    “Babe?” came Dean’s quiet murmur in the dark. Castiel stood, moving to the bed and planting a knee on the mattress so he could lean over the hunter.  
  
    “I’m going for a run,” Castiel replied softly, his lips finding Dean’s without hesitation in the darkness. “It’s still very early. Go back to sleep.”  
  
    “Dj’you sleep alright?” Dean asked, his hand reaching up and stroking the side of the Angel’s neck. Castiel smiled, his hand covering Dean’s and he brought it to his mouth.  
      
    “Yes. Very well.” he answered, kissing the younger man’s palm. “I’ll see you when I return.”  
  
    Dean made a sound of acknowledgment and huddled back down beneath the comforter as Castiel crept from the room, closing the door softly behind himself. His footfalls on the stairs were silent, and when he reached the bottom of the landing, he could see he wasn’t the first to wake.  
  
    Sam gave the Angel a nod of greeting, handing him the second half of the banana he had just cut into two. Cas took the offered spoon of peanut butter next, swallowing it in one bite to free his hand for the water bottle that was passed to him and he followed Sam to the door. Once both donned hoodies and Sam laced up his shoes, they headed out into the chilly pre-dawn air. They walked in silence to the end of the driveway, dropping banana peels into the trashcan and breaking into a jog as they headed down the street. Within ten minutes, both settled in to an easy running pace side by side, and there was silence between them save the light panting and an occasional deep draw of breath.  
  
    Sam looked over to the Angel at his side, watching Castiel squint his eyes against the cold morning air, watching the horizon as he ran. He really was like another brother to him, but he wondered just how much experience the older man had with humanity to be able to hold a heart to heart conversation with him.  
  
    “What’s on your mind, Sam?” Cas asked, not breaking his stride or turning his eyes. Sam grimaced, looking back in front of them as they crested the hill to the park where they usually stopped to stretch.  
  
    “What do you mean?” he asked, slowing his pace as they jogged off of the sidewalk and onto the damp, even grass. Castiel looked to him, raising an eyebrow as he drank from his bottle.  
  
    “You seem pensive,” he replied, mirroring the taller man as Sam stretched out his quads. Sam shrugged.  
  
    “I just... I just got some things on my mind...”  
  
    Castiel squinted again, his head tilting slightly to the side.  
  
    “Do you...” he began hesitantly, “Do you need to talk?”  
  
    Sam chuckled, reaching over to give the older man a hearty slap on the arm.  
  
    “Thanks Cas, but no. No, I think I’m good.” Castiel continued to stare at Sam with those incredibly piercing, blue eyes. Sam swallowed nervously. “I’m good, Cas...”  
  
    “Maybe you should talk to Dean,” Cas told him, ignoring the obvious cover. “He’s your brother. He’ll want to help.”  
  
    Sam looked away, focusing on stretching his hamstrings as he considered Castiel’s words.  
  
    “Dean doesn’t like to talk about feelings,” he said with a smile. “No chick-flick moments. That’s the Winchester way.” he looked back up at Cas, his smile widening in an attempt to seem sincere. Castiel did not look convinced.  
  
    “Was this penchant for repressing feelings before or after your father was out of your life?” he asked bluntly. “Because I feel that Dean has grown emotionally into someone who _values_ feelings. I think your brother has always valued feelings, he was just conditioned to keep them hidden. But, he’s a father now... I don’t think he would refuse you.” he shook his head, looking up at Sam who was staring back at him, stretching forgotten. “I think Dean probably wanted you to share your feelings, but was afraid to share his. He loves you, Sam.”  
  
    “Thanks, Cas,” Sam replied, finding his throat a little tight. “I appreciate it.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, and continued quietly.  
  
    “And... if there is ever anything I can do...”  
  
    Sam smiled, this one genuine.  
  
    “Just keep loving my brother, Cas,” he said. “Because I think you are the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And I can’t thank you enough.”  
  
    Castiel blushed, looking away and out into the sky where the sun was just beginning to turn the horizon a beautiful purple and gold.  
  
    “You shouldn’t thank me for something that I have no control over. My love for Dean...” the Angel took a deep breath, sighing slowly. “It is a gift. He is a gift.”  
  
    Sam blushed, shaking his head.  
  
    “I know what you mean,” he replied. “Come on. Let’s head back before our muscles cool down.”  
  
    Cas nodded, falling back into step beside the taller man. Castiel was light on his feet, so it was easy for him to keep up with Sam’s long strides, and they made the return trip in just under half an hour. Bobby was up by the time they walked in the door, and he greeted them with a raised hand that Sam slapped on his way past. Cas repeated the gesture with uncertainty.  
  
    “Coffee’s ready,” Bobby commented, his eyes never leaving the morning news.  
  
    “Thanks,” Sam replied, slipping from his shoes and shedding his sweat soaked hoodie. “I’ll get some when I come back up. Good run, Cas.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, and he too stripped off his damp shoes before taking the stairs to his room. Dean was still sleeping. As quietly as he could - even though he knew it was pointless since Dean was such a light sleeper - Cas stripped off his sweatshirt, laying it in the hamper and gathering dry clothes from the dresser. He could hear the soft movements on the bed and when he turned, Dean was watching his through half lidded eyes.  
  
    “’Mornin’, beautiful,” Dean murmured tiredly, tucking a hand under his head. “Did it catch you today?”  
  
    “Good morning Dean,” Castiel replied with a grin. Dean’s joke would never be tiresome to him. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”  
  
    “ ‘Sallright babe,” the hunter replied, his eyes sliding closed. “I need to get up anyway... leave the door open, wouldya?”  
  
    Castiel nodded, moving into the bathroom and placing his things on the counter. Dean sighed, stretching his arms above his head and setting up. He watched unashamedly as Castiel pulled the sweat soaked clothing from his body, every muscle in his lean frame standing taut from the workout. Dean licked his lips unconsciously, grateful the the needs of his bladder were outweighing the needs of his libido. Once the shower started running, Dean tossed back the comforter and crossed into the bathroom, lifting the toilet seat. He leaned one hand on the wall, waiting for the magic moment when he suddenly didn’t feel exhausted. It seemed to be taking its time this morning.  
  
    Once his bladder was empty, Dean pushed his pajamas to the floor and pulled off his shirt. He stepped into the shower behind his husband, the warm spray pleasant in the morning chill. Castiel’s hair was full of suds and Dean raised his hands to the silky chestnut locks and rubbed his fingers along the Angel’s scalp. Cas leaned back into Dean’s touch, letting the hunter wash the sweat from his hair.  
  
    “You need a haircut,” Dean observed, tilting Cas’s head forward once again and letting the water wash the soap down the drain.  
  
    “Oh?” Castiel asked, bringing a hand up to pull a section of hair, feeling the length. Dean smiled.  
  
    “Not as bad as Sammy still does, but yeah, you could benefit from a sharp pair of scissors.”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before asking.  
  
    “What do I do about that?”  
  
    “I’ll take you to a barber or something later today, if you want,” Dean replied, soaping up a wash cloth and scrubbing the back of the Angel’s neck and down his back.  
  
    “If that’s what _you_ want,” Castiel said in return. Dean dropped his hands to the older man’s hips, gently urging him to turn.  
  
    “It looks good like this,” Dean told him. “Maybe it can wait a couple days. After Thanksgiving, anyway.”  
  
    “Sam said,” Castiel began with a smirk. “that if I didn’t go on a run with him the day after Thanksgiving, that I’d get fat.”  
      
    Dean gave a snort of laughter, shrugging.  
  
    “I doubt you’ll be as gluttonous as the rest of us,” he mused. “But damn, I can’t wait to have my mom’s dinner tomorrow.” he grinned at the Angel, giving a wag of his brows. “You pay attention and learn all those secrets, okay?”  
  
    Castiel smiled back, absently running his hands over the hunter’s chest.  
  
    “You’re a better cook than I am,” he said simply, his eyes dropping to watch the way Dean’s nipples grew hard beneath his fingertips. “But, I will try my best to learn. I want to be the one to cook your favorite meal someday, for our family.”  
  
    Dean leaned forward, curling his finger beneath Castiel’s chin and bringing their lips together. Cas moaned softly, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck as the younger man’s hands dropped back to his hips.  
  
    “You know,” Castiel spoke, pulling his lips from Dean’s and leaving sweet kisses down the hunter’s chin. “I never returned the favor... from yesterday...”  
  
    Dean gave a nervous sort of laugh, tilting his head to the side to accommodate Cas’s attention, taking a deep breath as he felt the Angel’s fingers skim down his abs.  
  
    “It’s not a game,” Dean told him, gently running his hand over Castiel’s wet hair. “We’re not keeping score...”  
  
    “Still...” Cas spoke, his voice barely audible over the shower spray. Dean groaned, his hand closing on the small window ledge as Castiel sank to his knees in the tub. There was massaging at first; soft, warm hands pulling long, firm strokes as the warm water rushed down his chest. Dean bit his lip, looking down as Castiel’s beautiful lips parted around his shaft, his tongue gliding across the ridge just beneath the tip. Dean’s free hand entwined in the Angel’s hair, just resting against his head as it moved hypnotically forward and back.  
  
    Dean tried to keep his eyes on his husband, but they kept sliding closed on their own accord, his lids shuddering as his eyes rolled skyward. Castiel was stroking him slowly, his mouth providing hot, wet suction against the hunter’s testicles. Sonofabitch he was a quick study.  
  
    Castiel’s hand and mouth traded tasks, and Dean grimaced as he felt the tension mounting in his groin. He let out a loud, shaky breath, panting openly in the steamy shower; the wet sounds of suction just audible enough and adding to the erotic sensation of Cas’s mouth on his erection.  
  
    “Cas,” Dean hissed, his grip on the Angel’s hair tightening. He could feel the tightness pulling beneath his shaft, and he knew he wouldn’t last another stroke. “Cas _baby_...”  
  
    And Castiel _hummed_. Or it could have been a moan or a sigh, but the vibration was like fire on a fuse that shot straight through him and set off the explosion of pleasure. Dean gasped, feeling the rush of heat as his shaft pulsed, spilling hot semen into the Angel’s mouth.  
  
    Castiel swallowed once, opening his mouth to take a breath and Dean could see the next rush of fluid coat the Angel’s tongue and Cas swallowed again before closing his lips around the tip, giving one last stroke with his mouth. Dean watched the Angel lick his lips, and the hunter let out a slow sigh.  
  
    “Oh, baby...” he moaned, helping the Angel back to his feet. He grinned, a goofy, satisfied grin as he pulled the shorter man closer. “ _Good_ morning.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After properly finishing their shower and dressing, Cas and Dean left their room together. The door to the nursery was open and Mrs. Winchester wasn’t there, so Castiel stepped in to check the crib. The littlest Winchester was still curled into a ball, her chubby diapered butt in the air and her honey-blonde curls in all directions. Castiel smiled, reaching down into the crib and running a hand over the baby’s back. Dean pressed in behind him, slipping an arm around his waist as he too looked down on their little girl. Mary popped up like a jack in the box, her wide eyes blinking up at her fathers and she began to coo happily. Castiel reached down, lifting her into his arm.  
  
    “Good morning, precious,” Dean spoke, leaning in to kiss her face. The baby squealed happily, before dropping her head to Cas’s chest, her tiny fists closing on his collar. Dean took a breath, sighing. “Once she has a new diaper, I guess we’re going to try and start her on cereal, huh?”  
  
    Castiel grimaced, but nodded, letting Dean take the child from his hands and carry her to the changing table. By the time the baby had on a dry diaper, she was even more happy and bubbly than she already had been. Cas followed Dean downstairs to where the rest of the family was gathered in the kitchen.  
  
    “Good morning,” Mrs. Winchester greeted, tilting her head to accept her son’s kiss. “Would you like waffles or French toast?”  
  
    “Oh my god - the choices!” Dean exclaimed before chuckling. “I’ll just have what everyone else is having.”  
  
    “Waffles it is, then,” she laughed, stopping Cas on his way past to kiss his cheek. Castiel blushed and gave a small smile of silent appreciation.  
  
    “Alright baby-girl,” Dean announced, setting the baby in Cas’s lap once the Angel took a seat at the table. “Breakfast.”  
  
    Sam watched his brother take the can of infant formula from the cupboard, followed by the box of infant rice cereal.  
  
    “I’m getting the camera!” he almost shouted, dashing from the room and calling. “Don’t feed her before I get back!”  
  
    Jessica giggled, dropping her head as the rest of the room shared her laughter. When Jess raised her head, she noticed both Cas and Mrs. Winchester watching as Dean expertly prepared the bottle before using some of the formula to make the cereal - all without looking at the box. It was hard to miss the thinly veiled emotion in both their eyes.  
  
    “Got it,” Sam panted, coming back into the room and taking a seat closer to the Angel. Dean nudged him in the shoulder.  
  
    “That’s my chair,” he said. “Run and get me a towel and bib, huh?”  
  
    “Oh, yeah!” Sam added quickly. “Just don’t... don’t...” he said, dashing from the room again and returning with the items.  
  
    “Thanks,” Dean said, setting the bottle and cereal bowl down on the table. “Hold her up a bit, Cas,” he asked, placing the towel on the Angel’s lap. Cas set the baby back down on his thigh, holding her securely although she was taking to sitting up on her own for several minutes at a time. “Alright, baby-girl,” Dean said, snapping the bib around his daughter’s neck. She reached for the bottle, watching him carefully as he picked up the small bowl of cereal and gave it a couple stirs. “You ready for this?”  
  
    The room seemed to come to a complete stand-still as Dean brought the spoon to the baby’s mouth. She continued to stare into her father’s face, mimicking him as he opened his mouth. Sam had switched his camera into video mode and was quietly watching the view screen.  
  
    “That’s my girl,” Dean said with a grin as little Mary took a bite from the spoon, her tongue working most of it out of her mouth, but opening for another taste. There was laughter around her, but she watched Dean, waiting for the spoon to return again. Dean alternated feeding her bites and wiping the rest from her chin. Jessica nudge Sam, giving a nod of her head toward the Angel. Castiel apparently had eyes only for Dean as well. Sam smiled.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After a successful first meal of solid food, consisting of a couple tablespoons of rice cereal, Dean announced that the baby needed a high chair. Castiel blanched slightly upon hearing the news, but everyone assured him that it was not a bad thing - that Mary wouldn’t be forced to sit upright for hours or be allowed to slip through the leg holes. Even Bobby gave a kind word of support, which was a testament to how much the older hunter liked the Angel - normally he would have called him a nancy-boy and to quit his sissy whining.       
  
    “I’ll get the convertible one we looked at when we bought the crib,” Dean spoke, pulling on his overcoat. “The white one with the blue fabric and the sheep, okay?”  
      
    Castiel nodded, watching the younger man pull on a scarf. He shifted the baby in his arms.  
  
    “I understand, Dean,” he spoke evenly, trying not to betray his slight tinge of panic. “She needs a high chair. Even though she cannot hold herself upright on her own.”  
  
    Dean’s eyes slid closed and rolled back in his head, not in a good way this time. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose.  
  
    “Cas,” he said said slowly. “Buddy,” he opened his eyes, gesturing to the Angel with a flat hand. His smile held the tightness of a man trying to keep his composure. “Like I explained earlier; she’s only going to be eating cereal at breakfast for a while. The high chair is just to have in case she advances quicker. Better to have than not, huh? Especially when Sam and I go back to work. We’ll still be holding her on our laps until she’s big enough to sit on her own for more than a few minutes. I’m not going to hurt the baby,” he leaned forward and kissed Castiel’s petulant mouth in spite of his irritation. Cas’s brow furrowed.  
  
    “I don’t think you would hurt the baby...”  
  
    “Okay then.” Dean replied, but didn’t elaborate. He finished instead with another kiss, seeing as no one was paying attention to them. “I’ll get you something nice while I’m out. How about that?”  
  
    “Just come home safely,” Castiel replied.  
  
    “Hey,” Sam broke in, giving an odd smile from one to the other. “Dean, you mind if I tag along?”  
  
    Dean noticed the significant look of approval Castiel gave Sam, and he nodded.  
  
    “Sure. Let’s go.” he said before calling to the house. “Sam and I will be back in a few!”  
  
    Once inside the safety of the Impala, Dean let out a heavy sigh.  
  
    “I swear,” he grumbled, checking behind the car before pulling out of the drive. “That Angel is hot and cold. He’s a fighter - he’s a baby. He’s tough - then he’s a big softie.”  
  
    “Don’t tell him that,” Sam advised with a smirk. “Besides, he’s not any of those things. He’s... he’s Cas.” Dean raised an eyebrow. Sam continued. “And you love him. Quirks and all. And he puts up with your shit, so... so there.”  
  
    Dean gave a snort of laughter.  
  
    “Yeah, he sure does.” he said. “Not sure how I lucked out with him really...”  
  
    Sam shrugged, settling back in the seat.  
  
    “It’s a mystery...”  
  
    “I’m not mad at him,” Dean spoke after a moment’s silence. “It’s just, I don’t want him to freak out about the baby. I’m afraid that... that he thinks she’s our only shot and any chance to give her a sibling is slipping away... I can’t be mad at him for that.”  
  
    Sam frowned, looking over at his brother.  
  
    “Have you tried, I dunno,... talking to Amariel? Or... or Gabriel?” he asked. “See if they have any idea if you and Cas can... can..” he made a weird hand motion, as if dog paddling out in rough seas.  
  
    “I do not even want to know what that means,” Dean said with a shake of his head. “And I really don’t want to be involved in anything that requires help from a trickster. Cas and I will just... just have to figure it out. That’s what everyone else does, right?”  
  
    Sam grimaced, shrugging.  
  
    “Everyone else goes to a fertility specialist, actually,” he admitted. He could tell Dean was scowling at him.  
  
    “Mary is not even five months old,” Dean went on. “If..if it don’t happen by the time she’s two... or when we know Cas’s mojo is gone for good... then we’ll revisit the options. But, I ain’t gonna let Cas make himself sick over it. He’s got this stupid inferiority complex that makes me just-”  
  
    Apparently, it made him growl inhumanly. Sam nodded, impressed.  
  
    “Well, you are certainly made for each other.” he commented. Dean sighed, and Sam could swear he heard him mutter ‘shut it, Sammy’ just under his breath as he jammed the gear into park. They walked from the Impala to the mall, stopping just inside the massive front entrance.  
  
    “I need a few things,” Dean told him. “Shirts for work. You?”  
  
    “Uh, yeah,” Sam nodded, following Dean through the mall. They slowed considerably in front of Victoria’s Secret where the large pink and white window display had mannequins dressed in corsets and stockings and garter belts. The brothers exchanged interested looks but they continued walking. Sam spoke hesitantly. “Do you... miss that kind of stuff?” he asked. Dean gave a snort of laughter.  
  
    “Sam,” he began, shaking his head. “I’m married, I ain’t dead. I can still _look_.”  
  
    “I didn’t mean women,” Sam blushed, his fingers threading up the back of his hair and down his neck. “I meant... lingerie...”  
  
    “Well,” Dean continued gruffly. “I had never been with a woman who could keep her clothes on long enough for me to care what she was wearing. Besides,” he seemed a little embarrassed, but he spoke with assurance. “That’s not what love is about.”  
  
    Sam resisted the urge to tease and to bait his brother, but he nodded instead. He understood. Love wasn’t about the superficial things, as nice as they sometimes were. Sometimes, love was complicated.  
  
    Dean noticed Sam was contemplative, so he took the opportunity to peer back at the underwear store. Yeah, he loved Cas more than he loved girls in skimpy nighties, and the thought of Cas in something frilly gave him a knee jerk reaction. That really wasn’t what their relationship was about - Cas wasn’t a substitute for a woman. He liked the things about Cas that were manly, even if he wasn’t quite sure when the hell that happened. He and Cas were making their own rules now, and what he _was_ sure about was that he was happier than a bit of lace and ruffle could make him.  
  
    Once they stepped into the men’s clothing store, they browsed the tall cubes full of dress shirts packed in neat cellophane wrappers. Dean grimaced at the signs, pulling out one or another to check the color in the light.  
  
    “Can you believe that we’re actually doing this in a proper store now?” he asked. Sam smirked.  
  
    “Come on, some of your stuff was getting pretty nice there at the end,” he reasoned. Dean gave him an arched eyebrow and a frown. “It was.” Sam reiterated.  
  
    “Still,” Dean remarked, pulling one of the white and one of the palest blue from the stack. “I’ve never paid fifty six dollars for a freakin’ dress shirt before. Don’t even get me started on how much the last two suits I bought were. I’m just happy that in the office we have those casual days. I know I need at least one more suit before I feel like I’m not just wearing the same thing over and over again.”  
  
    “We can afford it now, Dean,” Sam reasoned. “I’m going to go look at jackets.”  
  
    Dean smirked, watching his freakishly tall brother move away, only to be descended upon by a commissioned sales associate that could smell ‘special order’ a mile away. Dean kept his shirts clutched in one hand as he strolled through the store. True, he could afford these things now. With his only real expenses being rent, utilities, gas and food, that left a lot of money to be funneled away into savings and their little nest egg was just starting to grow. By new year, he was hoping to have enough to put down most of the cost of a new car for Cas, and by this time next year, a down payment on a place that was properly theirs. A warm, happy feeling spread through him and he grinned to himself, taking out his cell phone and punching in a quick text message.  
  
   _FYI - I love you like crazy._  
  
    The phone wasn’t back in his pocket a minute when it buzzed in reply.  
  
     _What is fyi? My love is quite sane._  
  
    Dean grinned, answering the message and giving a ‘Just looking, thanks’ to the salesman that asked him if he needed assistance.  
  
   _FYI = for your info. Crazy love is good. Still shopping. See you soon._  
  
     The buzz of reply was anticipated.  
  
   _Oh. Jessica says to write ily xxx. Making pie. See you soon._  
  
    Dean grimaced. He would have to have a talk with Cas about some phone messages being for his eyes only. He felt fortunate that he didn’t try to send anything more blush-worthy... or cringe-worthy.  
  
    Dean stopped at a display of cashmere socks and nearly groaned at the feel of them. So much nicer than discount store cotton dress socks, but he passed them by. No way he was spending twenty dollars on a single pair of socks. Not Dean Winchester. Shirts would do for today. Ridiculously expensive shirts, and possibly a tie or two.  
  
    He carefully selected two ties that looked nothing like anything he already owned, before looking over to where Sam was still being pinned into a jacket. He gave his little brother a nod, and Sam grinned back sheepishly, mouthing ‘sorry’. Dean shook his head. He didn’t mind the wait.  
  
    Past socks and ties were underwear and pajamas, and Dean marveled over why anyone would want to dress for bed like they were in a fancy hospital as opposed to a t-shirt and a pair of plain cotton sleep pants. He was fine at leaving the underwear to the discount stores. Nothing wrong with Hanes boxer briefs. He doubted there was a difference.  
  
    His eyes fell on a pair of pajama pants that were a pale, crystal blue. The fabric looked like liquid - invisibility cloak pants being his first thought. He touched the garment, the slightly shiny pants felt cool and the fabric slid through his fingers with a soft, sensual glide. He checked the tag. 100% silk.  
  
    Dean bit his lip, looking back across the store to where Sam was removing the pinned up coat. Dean snatched the pants from the rack, turning to wind his way through to the other side where the registers were. He plunked his items down.  
  
    All of his purchases were safely bagged away by the time the salesman lead Sam to the counter and rang up the sale of his new suits.  
  
    “Did you get a suit, Dean?” Sam asked his brother, and Dean grinned at the slight flush of excitement on his little brother’s face.  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean answered. “But, they already have all my measurements on file. I didn’t have to stand this time.”  
  
    “Cool,” Sam commented, handing his debit card to the clerk and signing for the purchase.  
  
    “Your items should be finished by Monday,” the clerk replied, handing the receipt to Sam. “Please call if you have any questions.”  
      
    Sam thanked him and the two brothers left the store, taking the escalator to the baby store down stairs. Dean made a bee line for furniture, trying to keep Sam from touching every baby garment on the way through.  
  
    “Ugh, I hope you have a son next,” he commented, his fingers brushing a tiny baseball jersey. “Dean - Dean look at this.”  
  
    “I got an idea,” Dean said, pausing to look back at his brother who was now holding the little garment to his chest. “Why don’t you have a son next?”  
  
    Dean was surprised by the way the younger man blanched, slowly returning the shirt to the rack.  
  
    “Sam?” he asked, his brow creasing in concern. “Everything okay?” his voice lowered and he walked a few steps back. “Is Jess pregnant?”  
      
    “No,” Sam replied. “No. She’s... she’s not.”  
  
    Dean stared at him curiously before nodding.  
  
    “Well then... get on it.” he replied, turning back toward the back of the store. He had no trouble locating the highchair that he and Cas had agreed on and he and Sam carried the awkward box to the car. It fit neatly in the back seat. Dean tied up the handles of his bag and dropped them in the foot of the back seat. As he shut the door, he took his phone from his pocket and punched in a text.  
  
   _Taking Sam for a beer. Hold down the fort._  
  
    “Want to stop over at McClaren’s before we head home?” he asked his brother, raising an eyebrow as Sam looked back at him. Sam’s lips were pinched together in an expression of uncertainty. “Oh yeah, you need it,” Dean replied. He pushed the key into the ignition but the vibrating of his cell phone made him pause and he looked at the screen.  
  
_IDUTRBJE. DDADILY._  
  
    Dean frowned, staring in absolute confusion at the screen. Did Cas try to text with his non-dominant hand? Or with his fingers covered in pie crust dough.  
  
    “Just a sec, Sam,” he mumbled, pulling Castiel’s number up in the contacts and pressing the phone to his ear. Castiel answered after the second ring.  
  
    “Hello, Dean,”  
  
    “Cas, what was all that gobbledy-gook?” he asked. “What were you trying to say?”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment before he replied.  
  
    “I thought it was clear. Most texts are in initial-isms, correct?”  
  
    Dean pulled the phone back from his ear, looking down at the jumble of letters. It was as if just hearing Castiel’s voice put sense to them.  
  
   _I don’t understand that reference but Jessica explained. Don’t drink and drive I love you._  
  
    Dean chuckled, putting the phone back to his ear.  
  
    “Sorry, Cas. Yeah, I get it know. Sorry to bother you.”  
  
    “It’s no bother,” the Angel assured him. “Please be safe. I do love you.”  
  
    Dean felt a prickle of heat on his neck, but he grinned.  
  
    “Love you too.”  
  
    He hung up the phone, placing it back in his pocket and turning on the ignition. Sam looked at him questioningly.  
  
    “What was that all about? Other than how much you love him?”  
  
    “Shut up,” Dean spoke, without much conviction as he steered toward the nearby pub. “Bitch.”  
  
    Sam grinned widely.  
  
    “You love Cas,” he teased, “jerk.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean and Sam parked the Impala by a window so they could watch it, and they settled in a dark booth away from most of the crowd. Dean ordered two beers, and the waitress delivered the order with a flirty smile and a wink that made both Sam and Dean grin.  
  
    The first few sips of beer were had over neutral conversation, Sam detailing the suits that he bought. After a few moments of polite conversation, Dean leaned in across the table.  
  
    “So,” he began, and the serious tone of his voice made Sam set up a little straighter. Dean held out his hands in a open gesture. “What’s going on?”  
  
    Sam grimaced, his mouth pinched as he thought of a response.  
  
    “What do you mean?”  
  
    Dean shook his head.  
  
    “Something’s obviously going on.” he replied. “That look Cas gave you? You telling Cas things you can’t tell me?”  
  
    “I didn’t tell Cas anything,” Sam spoke quickly, realizing too late that it indicated that there was, indeed, things to tell. “I...” he sighed. “It’s nothing worth talking about, I mean. You wouldn’t... I... I don’t want to bother you with silly stuff.”  
  
    Dean watched his brother quietly a moment, the younger Winchester pulling nervously at the label on his beer bottle. Dean took a breath.  
  
    “Look, Sammy,” he started. “I know that I wasn’t the most... emotionally available guy when we were growing up-”  
  
    “Gah, Dean,” Sam responded, shaking his head. “It wasn’t your job, okay?”  
  
    Dean frowned, and Sam didn’t like what it did to his brother’s eyes. There was an internal dialogue happening, he knew, but he didn’t want to cause Dean pain.  
  
    “I mean,” Sam told him. “You were fine growing up. You’re... you’re a great brother. You were always very strong, so I get that maybe... I don’t know, I should have learned better or-”  
  
    It was Dean’s turn to interrupt.  
  
    “Sam,” he said, his voice sounding slightly resigned. “Look...” he rolled his bottle between his hands, looking at the way the condensation on the glass changed instead of lifting his eyes to the younger man. “I’m not going to pretend any more that our childhood - hell, our life until a year ago - wasn’t as fucked up as it was. Yeah, there were some great things about it,” he added before Sam could speak. “You and I, on the road, livin’ our life. I’m glad for what we had. But... but the things dad put on us,”  
  
    “The things dad put on _you_ ,” Sam corrected. Dean took a measured breath.  
  
    “Yeah, well... I turned right around and put some of that crap on you, and I’m sorry,”  
  
    “Dean,” Sam was shocked by the admission, and he shook his head in disbelief. “You didn’t do anything to me. When I think back on everything you did, you gave me so much. You let me have so much that you didn’t. You... you were a great father to me, Dean. So what if the one thing you couldn’t do was talk about how you were feeling?”  
  
    Dean felt his jaw tighten, and he pressed the beer bottle to his lips to get it working again.  
  
    “I should have talked about how _you_ were feeling,” he mumbled, looking out the window to the black and chrome car that was their home for so long. All those long drive cross country, all those nights sleeping on the side of the highway, all those hours eating meals out of styrofoam containers and grease stained bag - he should have asked Sam about his feelings. How it made him feel. Not to shut up and take it like a good soldier. Not to ask, not to question, not to try and work things through. He didn’t want that for Sammy. But Dean knew if Sam had talked about his feelings, it would have been a whole hell of a lot harder to ignore his own. And if he had faced his feelings then, he couldn’t have taken care of Sam at all.  
  
    Sam was looking at his brother, watching the emotions flit through his eyes. A new and fierce hatred for John Winchester welled up in him.  
  
    “That’s not our life anymore Dean,” Sam spoke softly. Dean looked up at him, smiling in spite of the tense topic of conversation.  
  
    “No... no it’s not.” Dean laughed, dropping his head. “Things couldn’t be more different,” he looked back up at Sam, a apologetic expression on his face. “I.. I don’t want you to keep things closed up, Sammy. I want you to know you have someone you can talk to. A friend. A brother. And if you tried to talk to Cas, well... you must need to talk something fierce.”  
  
    Sam blushed, shaking his head and pushing his hair out of his eyes - which was really more nervous habit than necessity now.  
  
    “You know I love Cas,” Sam began. “I like talking with him. It’s just some of the things I could talk about... I’m not sure if he’ll understand.”  
  
    Dean smirked.  
  
    “What’re you tryin’ to talk with my baby about?” he asked with a raised brow, and immediately blushed. Sam blushed as well, and they both laughed a moment. Dean cleared his throat. “Seriously Sam, what’s on your mind.” Sam continued to fidget with the bottle, and Dean sighed. “Tell you what,” he spoke, taking a deep breath. Sam looked up. “I’ll... I’ll start, how ‘bout that, hm? Get this ‘feelings’ show on the road?”  
  
    Sam bit his lip, fear and intrigue battling within him. He nodded. Dean took a deep draw of his beer.  
  
    “Sometimes,” Dean began slowly. “I don’t want what I got because I’m so freakin’ scared to lose it.”  
  
    “Dean,” Sam whispered, concerned and shocked. Dean grinned and shook his head.  
  
    “Don’t get me wrong Sammy. I _want_ what I got. But when I really think about it - spouse, kid, home... it’s a little scary. Because it only hurts when you lose something you love. We’ve never had anything before but each other, and, well, ... you see how well I handle not having you around.” Sam smiled, but let Dean continue. The older brother shook his head, a hand coming to the back of his neck and he blushed. “And man, Sam,...” he laughed nervously. “I love Cas. Like... bad.” Sam’s smile remained and he didn’t speak. He had a feeling Dean had wanted to tell someone this for a long while. “I’m so freakin’ happy, it doesn’t seem right sometimes. When I think about the stuff Cas an’ I have been through together, and how it... how it just sort of fell into place...” Dean closed his eyes a moment, and he could almost feel Castiel’s lips on his. “Damnit, Sammy, I’m so happy. I couldn’t... I couldn’t love anyone more. I couldn’t... I never have.”  
  
    Sam’s smile grew wider, and he nudged Dean’s foot with his own. Dean smirked, taking a drink of his beer.  
  
    “So,” he continued, leaning back in the leather seat of the booth. “What’s on _your_ mind?”  
  
    Sam took a deep breath, his skin heating up as he considered what he wanted to say. There was no point in sugar coating it.  
  
    “So get this...Jess and I haven’t had sex since she came back,” he stated flatly, avoiding Dean’s eyes but he could see the older man set back. “And yesterday she told me that she wanted last night to be the night.” he took another deep breath, and it came out a little unsteady. “And, um, when we... _started_... um... I...I cried. Not like sobbing, but... I just couldn’t stop. So... we didn’t...um...”  
  
    Dean let out a low whistle, setting forward and leaning onto the table again.  
  
    “What were you thinking?” he asked. Sam looked stricken.  
  
    “I wasn’t trying to hurt her.”  
  
    “No,” Dean clarified. “What was going on in your head?”  
  
    Sam’s voice was quiet.  
  
    “That I’m not good enough for Jess... I’m... dirty... since Ruby-”  
  
    “Stop,” Dean hushed him, his brows drawing together. “Ruby played you - no different than if she was some other human being who was out to work you over.”  
  
    “But she was a demon.”  
  
    “But nothing,” Dean replied, slapping a palm on the table. “She was a evil, skanky bitch - but she played you. She made you think she cared about you, when the whole time she was only working for her own endgame, and there ain’t shame in fallin’ for that Sam.”  
  
    “But her body. Her host died-” Sam tried to butt in, but Dean shook his head.  
  
    “And I didn’t think Jimmy wasn’t playing a harp in the clouds when Cas and I hooked up?” Dean asked. Sam’s mouth closed and he sat back. Dean frowned. “Look, I ain’t going to say what’s we’ve been through ain’t weird, okay? But I know, as sure I know how much I love Cas, that you love Jess. You’ve always loved Jess. But she was gone and you were trying to move on. You can’t fault yourself for that. And I can’t pretend to know exactly how you feel, but I think I know a little bit about feeling not good enough. You think it doesn’t bother me that I’ve spent the last thirty-odd years of my life man-whoring and now get to lay down at night with an _Angel_? An Angel that _cast himself_ out of heaven for me?” he groaned, rubbing his eyes. “I hate it. It kills me. But, I love Cas more than I hate the feeling. Because he loves me, and he wants me, and I guess I get no fucking say in that. And you know what? I’m glad. Because knowing me, I cock it up for myself. Part of me wants to be miserable - it’s familiar. It’s what I know. It can’t be taken away. But a part of me wants to be happy. So just chose to be happy, Sammy. Chose to make Jess happy.” he gave a smirk. “Don’t know why she’d want your scrawny ass, but, I guess it takes all kinds.”  
  
    Sam chuckled, wiping at his eyes but Dean didn’t mention the moisture building there. Sam sniffed, taking another drink from his bottle.  
  
    “Can I...” he closed his eyes a moment, as if he were going to regret his words. “Can I ask you something personal?”  
  
    Dean’s eyebrows raised and it took him a moment to reply.  
  
    “Shoot.”  
  
    Sam licked his lips nervously, leaning forward across the table. Dean unconsciously mirrored the motion.  
  
    “How do you...” he began, and Dean could feel his brother’s hesitation twisting in the pit of his stomach. “And you do not have to answer this and I will understand.”  
  
    “Get on with it, Sam,” Dean prompted. Sam pressed his lips together, but finally continued to speak.  
  
    “How do you just go back to having a normal sex life? After... everything? Like, the twins from Kenton or the burlesque dancer from Atlantic City, or the triplets from Palm Springs? And now you’re just... plain vanilla, monogamous with Cas? I worry sometimes about the things I’ve done...like I’m some sort of freak that will bleed onto Jess...”  
  
    Dean raised a hand, waiving the waitress over. He forced a grin as he checked the bill, handing her a twenty and telling her to keep the change. When he slid out of the booth, Sam followed.  
  
    As Sam walked behind his brother, he wondered if he stepped over some sort of line. As if sex with Cas, as much as he didn’t want to know the actual details (since he tried to convince himself all they ever did was kiss, since he’d witnessed that), was something never to be hinted or implied. Sam was surprised to feel a sharp defensiveness of Cas’s behalf.  
  
    Once the doors to the Impala banged resoundingly closed, Dean turned on his brother, pointing at his chest.  
  
    “Let me tell you something,” he said sternly, catching the younger man by surprise. “You love Jess. And she loves you. And anything two, consenting, adults in love do is not a bad thing. It doesn’t make you bad, and it won’t make her bad. C’mon Sam! This is the girl you told me dressed as a naughty nurse and tickled your fancy!” Sam gave a snort of laughter in spite of Dean’s serious tone. It made Dean smile as well. “I highly doubt there is anything you could want that Jess wouldn’t want to give you - and vice versa. You never know. Maybe she’s got some sort of kink that you haven’t discovered yet...”  
  
    “Does Cas have an undiscovered kink?” Sam asked with a laugh. Dean blushed.  
  
    “I hope not.” he answered honestly. Sam sobered, raising an eyebrow. “Not like that I mean,” he cleared his throat. “I’d do pretty much anything he asks, but... I don’t want him to worry about the odd stuff. The outside the norm stuff.” his thoughts trailed off to Cas at home, snuggling their baby and dressed in denim and soft cotton; who still smiled shyly when Dean grinned at him; who moaned with abandon and didn’t question the instinctual reactions of his body.  
  
    “Dean?” Sam spoke, louder the second time. Dean straightened up. “You are gone, man,” Sam laughed. “Gone. I hope that Jess and I have that someday...”  
  
    Dean shook his head, embarrassed by the lapse.  
  
    “You will. I can’t believe I do... but, you will...” Dean reached over and thumped him on the leg. “You just need to get over this one hurdle. Once you do, it’s all downhill from there - in a good way.”  
  
    “I hope so,” Sam spoke softly, his eyes looking down at his hands. “I was... I was going to propose at Christmas...but I wasn’t sure.”  
  
    “You better,” Dean said firmly. “I can’t be the only one makin’ babies. Our kids need to grow up together - but take your time and finish school,” he added. Sam chuckled.  
  
    “Right,”  
  
    Dean put the keys in the ignition, but he didn’t turn on the engine. He paused, looked back at Sam.  
  
    “She loves you, Sammy,” he spoke, his tone serious once again. “Sometimes you just have to let that in. Let it heal you. Sometimes you don’t get a say.”  
  
    Sam nodded, emotion tightening his throat, but thankfully, Dean was starting the car and he didn’t have to reply. The ride home was silent, and Sam carried the highchair into the house by himself.  
  
    “We’re back,” Dean announced, holding the door open for Sammy. Castiel came into the room, watching Sam set the large box down behind the sofa. Jess was behind him, carrying the baby.  
  
    “Looks good on her,” Dean murmured, and Sam hissed back ‘ _Shut up_ ’.  
  
    “That looks big,” Castiel observed, scrutinizing the side of the box. “Is it bigger than the one we looked at?”  
  
    “This is the exact one we looked at,” Dean assured him, giving the Angel a pat on the hip. “You wanna help me put this together gramps?” Dean asked Bobby.  
  
    Jess gave Castiel a sympathetic smile as she moved the stand beside Sam. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  
  
    “You have fun?” she asked. Sam nodded, looking to the group who had moved on into the kitchen.  
  
    “Yeah, I did. I bought a couple suits... shared a beer with Dean.” Jess continued to smile. “Can I, um, talk to you for a second?”  
  
    Jess’s eyes showed a slight tint of concern, but she handed the baby off to Cas and followed the younger Winchester down into their room. She shut the door.  
  
    “Everything okay?” she asked. Sam nodded, setting on the edge of the bed.  
  
    “Yeah, I just... sit down?”  
  
    She moved to his side, settling onto the mattress and letting him take her hands in his.  
      
    “I just want to say,” he began. “That I am so sorry about last night-”  
  
    “Sam,” she sighed, a gentle smile on her lips. “We talked about this. No need to be sorry.”  
  
    “I know, I just... “ he sighed. Jessica smiled wider, warmly, looking up into his face.  
  
    “We’ll take our time,” she continued, rubbing the backs of his hands with her thumbs. “When you’re ready...”  
  
    Sam gave a nervous sort of laugh, shaking his head.  
  
    “Been a few years since you first said that to me,” he said, quietly. Jessica bit her lip, but continued to grin.  
  
    “I know. That was quite some time ago. Here I was, this worldly California girl trying to corrupt a naive boy from Kansas.” she nudged his knee with her own. “It was hard to believe a cutie like you hadn’t been snapped up before.” she sighed. “I was so afraid that you’d hate me after...”  
  
    “Why?” he laughed. “Any guy would have been lucky to have you. Especially an awkward dork like me.”  
  
    “Because you deserved someone better,” she shrugged, her smile remaining but now wistful. “Someone as innocent as you were.”  
  
    “But I-” Sam began, and he stopped himself. He felt 18 again, sitting in his cramped dorm room with this beautiful girl who didn’t care about his odd family or his weird habits and his insecurities. This beautiful girl who didn’t wonder what was wrong with him when she found out he was a virgin, but who wondered what was wrong with herself for not being one.  
  
    Sam brought his hands to Jessica’s face and kissed her suddenly, deeply. Jessica responded, her hands pulling the T-shirt from his jeans as she could tell their was an intensity to his kiss that hadn’t been there until today. Sam tore off his flannel overshirt, his hands slipping around the blonde’s slim waist. Their kissing was hard and deep and passionate as they shed their clothes, but when they hit the bed, bare skin against bare skin, their movements became slow and unhurried.  
  
    There was still tears. But this time, Jessica kissed them away before wiping her own, her hands soothing over the expanse of Sam’s back. It was like their bodies remembered each other, falling quickly into familiar sensation of what the other craved. Everything about Sam was all long, perfect muscle and Jess was soft, and delightfully warm.  
      
    It didn’t last long, but both were sated and happy and curled into the other after. Jess kissed his hands, and Sam nuzzled her hair. He felt good again, somehow cleansed by her acceptance. Dean was right. Dean was so right. He wondered if that his how his brother felt after falling in love with Cas.  
  
    Jessica lay her head on Sam’s chest, her hand absently stroking his bare skin. Sam sighed.  
  
    “I’m sorry we didn’t do that sooner...” he said. He could feel Jess’s chuckle. She leaned up, resting her arm across his chest.  
  
    “I’m glad we waited until you were ready.” she told him. “I love you Sam.”  
  
    Same leaned up, kissing her.  
  
    “I love you too,”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow when Sam and Jess returned to the kitchen, and Sam’s awkward, guilty grin told him all he needed to know. Dean smirked, patting his brother on the back as he passed.  
  
    “I didn’t say immediately,” he murmured out of the side of his mouth, causing his younger brother to blush hotly.  
  
    Castiel was hovering behind Bobby a he was slipping the baby down into the assembled high chair.  
  
    “I will clip your damn wings if you don’t cool your jets, feathers,” the older hunter grumbled.  
  
    Cas frowned, turning to look at Dean with a ‘ _are you going let him talk to me that way_ ’ expression. Dean chuckled, casually putting an arm around the Angel’s lower back and resting a hand on his hip.  
  
    “It comes with a booster seat cushion,” he assured Cas. “She’s not going to fall out.”  
  
    Castiel turned back to the baby, his voice quiet when he spoke.  
  
    “She’s still too little...” he commented. Dean gave the Angel’s hip a squeeze, leaning over to kiss his cheek. Mrs. Winchester smiled at them. She was so happy for her boys, both in loving relationships. She only hoped theirs would work out better than hers. For the life of her, she couldn’t imagine what could have made John make the choices he did. But she couldn’t think about them, or her anger became overwhelming.  
  
    The household spent the afternoon playing with the baby, watching TV, and sharing stories. Mary told them about the thanksgiving meals she used to have as a girl and Jessica recounted her first thanksgiving with Sam. After supper, they six of them sat in the living room watching ‘A Christmas Story’ on television, while the baby lay against Bobby’s chest gnawing on a teething ring. Dean rested his arm on the back of the sofa, behind Castiel.  
  
    Dean tried to concentrate on the movie, he really did, but he more often found his eyes trailing down Castiel’s jaw and throat, skimming down his chest and watching the way it rose and fell. Dean licked his lips, glancing nervously around the room, the rest of whom appeared to be oblivious. Dean cleared his throat, standing.  
  
    “I’m gonna put the baby down,” he spoke, reaching down to lift her gently from Bobby’s arms. “And I think I’m going to put myself down as well. Goodnight everyone.”  
  
    “Good night, sweetheart,” Mrs. Winchester replied, followed by similar sentiments from the rest of the group. Dean carried his daughter upstairs, taking her into the bathroom and getting a warm washcloth. He crossed into the nursery, undressing her and buckling her into the changing table. Mary cooed and kicked, watching every movement Dean made as he wiped her down.  
  
    “My little girl tired, hm?” he asked, leaning down and rubbing his nose against the baby’s. She cooed loudly in response, clutching at his face. Dean smiled, standing back up and changing the baby’s diaper before dressing her in a warm, one piece pajama suit. He paced her around the room, patting her back gently and singing Meatloaf’s ‘Two out of three aint bad’. Before the song came to a close, the baby was breathing soft and even. Dean kissed her cheek, lowering her gently into the crib. When he stood upright, he noticed Castiel leaning in the doorway.  
  
    “Is she asleep?” the Angel asked, stepping over to the side of the crib and leaning to peer down at the baby. He gently touched her back.  
  
    “Out like a light,” Dean commented. “The movie over?”  
  
    “Yes,” Castiel replied. “Everyone is now debating the appropriate age for a child to have firearms.”  
  
    “That’s easy,” Dean scoffed, turning off the light and guiding Cas across the hall by placing a hand on his back. “Twelve.”  
  
    Castiel raised an eyebrow, watching Dean shut the door.  
  
    “Should a child _ever_ own firearms?” he asked. Dean smirked.  
  
    “There is real shit out there, Cas,” he replied, beginning to undress. “Just because we ain't in it the way we used to be doesn’t negate that. Kids need to know how to defend themselves. Besides, I’m a federal agent and still a hunter. There will always be guns in the house.” He reached out, taking the Angel’s hand. “Don’t worry about it. Our kids are just going to learn how to be safe, not to hunt. To be protected.”  
  
    “I understand,” Cas replied, letting the younger man pull him in for a kiss.  
  
    “Good man,” Dean murmured.  
  
    They went about their normal nighttime routine together, sharing the sink to wash up. Dean looked over at the Angel, a smile coming to his lips as he watched the other man run a wet washcloth over his face.  
  
    “Hey babe,” he commented, turning to lean against the counter. “Remember when I went out today that I said I’d buy you something nice?”  
  
    Cas’s eyebrow raised again and he tilted his head to the side.  
  
    “Yes?”  
  
    Dean grinned.  
  
    “Well, I got you something,” he said, stepping out of the bathroom and grabbing the shopping bag from the closet. He returned to the bathroom. “Here. I hope you like it. I think I will.”  
  
    Castiel looked curiously down into the bag. Dean leaned in to kiss his cheek.  
  
    “I’ll be in bed,” he spoke deeply, planting another kiss on the Angel’s ear before he moved into the next room.  
  
    Dean turned off the over head light and turned on the lamp by Cas’s side of the bed. He fluffed up the pillows, settling down in the middle of the bed with his back to the headboard and waited. In a few moments, the bathroom door opened wider and Castiel stepped into the room.  
  
    Dean felt his mouth go dry and he sat up a little straighter. Castiel looked _amazing_. His long, lean body was sharp and toned, and his skin, which was always a shade or two darker than Dean’s, was smooth and beautifully contrasted by the pale blue of the sleep pants he wore. The silk hung on him like water, cascading over the angles of his hips and the swell of his thighs. He gave Dean a look of uncertainty as he moved to the side of the bed.  
  
    “Do you like them?” Dean asked, when he found his voice. Castiel tilted his head to the side, looking down at himself.  
  
    “They’re very... soft.” he commented. “I... I think I like them,” he placed his knee on the bed, leaning in to settle beside Dean. “What do you think?”  
  
    Dean huffed, smiling as his hand smoothed over the Angel’s hip, the silk fabric slick against his skin. He pulled the Angel closer, causing Cas to straddle his thighs.  
  
    “Oh,” he commented with a cheeky grin. “Daddy likes.”  
  
    Castiel chuckled, leaning in to kiss the younger man. The Angel’s laughter only made Dean laugh as well, but the levity was swallowed by their kiss. Dean slid his hands up and down Cas’s bare torso as they softly kissed each other; sweet, honest kisses that were neither hurried nor deep. Castiel’s hands were on Dean’s shoulders, stroking gently over his muscles and down his arms and chest. Dean groaned, rolling his hips up against Castiel as he felt his shaft begin to swell with want.  
  
    Dean turned, pulling Cas down on the bed at his side, one of the Angel’s legs still slung over his thigh. Dean continued to plant soft kisses on his husband’s jaw and throat, returning to his mouth often as he reached down to stroke the Angel’s growing erection through the thin silk.  
  
    Castiel moaned, his eyes sliding closed at the slick, soft feel of the fabric against his most sensitive flesh. Dean licked his lips, watching the Angel breathe evenly, eyes closed and lips parted.  
  
    “You like that?” he whispered, placing a kiss on the Angel’s shoulder. Castiel nodded, breathing deeply as he opened his eyes and focused on his partner. Dean leaned over him, bringing his lips back to the Angel’s. The kisses continued to be soft and slow, the same pace as their hands exploring the other’s body - as if this was something that they hadn’t done so many times before. Dean nuzzled the side of Castiel’s throat, his lips closing on Cas’s earlobe. “Love you,” he murmured. The words made the Angel smile.  
  
    “Dean,” Cas spoke quietly, receiving a ‘Hm’ in reply. “I’d... I’d like to... be on top tonight.” Dean leaned up on his elbow, looking down into the older man’s face. Cas looked uncertain. “Is that the appropriate vernacular?”  
  
    Dean grinned.  
      
    “Sure baby,” he agree. “Anything you want.”  
  
    Cas smiled, and Dean returned to laying warm, damp kisses down his chest and abdomen, sliding the blue silk pants down his legs and dropping them to the floor. Castiel sat up, assisting the hunter in divesting himself of his own garment before Dean settled back on the bed, his head resting on the near mountain of pillows. Cas leaned over him, this time he was the one trailing kisses over the hunter’s bare torso. Dean sat forward to taste the Angel’s flesh as Castiel leaned off the bed and retrieved the lubricant from the nightstand. He paused, sighing as Dean traced the underside of his pectoral muscle with his tongue. Both were surprised to find it a sensitive spot.  
  
    “Learn somethin’ new everyday,” Dean smirked, staring up into Cas’s lust blown eyes. Cas kissed him, moving forward to straddle his hips again and Dean slid his arms around the Angel.  
  
    When they broke, Cas sat back against Dean’s thighs and the hunter watched him pour a decent amount of the clear gel out into his palm. He was surprised, however, when Castiel brought his hand down to spread the slick warmth over Dean’s erection instead of his own.  
  
    “Babe?” Dean began, before the realization of Castiel’s words dawned on him. He didn’t question further, moving one hand to the Angel’s hip to help steady him and the other reaching between them to take himself in hand. His eyes lifted to Castiel’s face and the Angel was flushed, partly from desire, partly from embarrassment, but it was beautiful and Dean told him so. “You’re so beautiful, baby,” he whispered, and he could hear the other man’s gentle breath of amusement. Dean’s fingers pressed into the Angel’s hip, guiding his movements as he centered himself below, sliding the head of his shaft along the older man’s cleft until it struck his opening. “Easy, baby,” Dean spoke again, his eyes moving from the Angel’s face to the progress made between their bodies. He could hear Cas swallow and gasp as the change in angle opened him for the hunter and Dean’s shaft slid easily inside. Cas practically moaned in relief, his hips rocking slightly to drive Dean’s erection as deep as he could, settling flush against the younger man’s bare thighs. Dean let out a heavy breath, rolling up into Castiel’s tight heat.  
  
    Cas placed his palms on the bed, leaning down over Dean and kissing him as he began to raise and lower his hips, the constricting pulse of his body massaging up and down the hunter’s length. Dean reached a hand up to delve into the back of Castiel’s hair, pulling the Angel down for a kiss, which he returned happily. Dean slid his other hand down over the smooth, taut muscle of his husband’s ass, massaging the perfect roundness beneath his palm.  
  
    Dean couldn’t believe this moment, and was even more blown away when Cas sat up, alternating raising and lowering himself with pressing down hard against Dean, rolling his hips to concentrate where the hunter’s shaft slid inside him. And he was moaning, eyes closed and face turned up to the ceiling, losing himself in act. Dean watched him with an open mouth, his hands sliding encouragingly over the Angel’s hips and thighs.  
  
    “God, baby, you’re beautiful,” Dean breathed, pulling Castiel out of his own thoughts and he leaned down, kissing Dean deeply.  
  
    “Is this,” the Angel spoke, his deep voice quiet and his breathing shallow. “Is this okay?”  
  
    “It’s awesome,” Dean replied without thought, “You’re awesome. This..nnn...oh yeah...”  
  
    “Good,” Cas gasped, pushing himself back up on his hands and moving with more purposeful strokes of his hips. Dean groaned, closing his eyes and sliding both hands down to grab the Angel’s glutes, lifting his own hips to meet the other’s decent. Castiel made a sharp exclamation that faded into panting breathes as he and Dean moved together. “Dean,” he moaned, “Dean... _mmm_... ah!”  
  
    “You got this, baby,” Dean insisted. “Keep going, you got this. God, you feel so good.”  
  
    Castiel made a whining sound deep in his throat, but continued to move with Dean’s encouragement. His movements became shorter, quicker, but when he began to contract the muscles of his passage, squeezing rhythmically around Dean’s length, the hunter swore.  
  
    “Fuck, Cas, - fuck!” Dean grimaced, his eyes squeezing shut and his hand’s grabbing almost painfully into Castiel’s flesh as he thrust up into the beckoning sensation of bliss. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until it was punched from him, his release bursting hot and hard into Castiel’s body.  
  
    Castiel seemed to relax, his own heavy sigh falling from him as he lay down against Dean’s Chest. Dean was breathing heavily, the last shuddering spasms of his orgasm fading away while he remained buried inside his husband. He only let himself recover for a few beats of his heart before he wrapped his arm around the Angel and reversed their positions on the bed in one, swift motion.  
  
    “I love you, Castiel,” Dean whispered, the use of the Angel’s full name brought a whimper from him as Dean began to move. “I love you,”  
  
    “I love you, Dean” Cas replied, his words broken by tiny grunts and moans as Dean thrust deep and slow. It wasn’t long before Cas, too, was at his end and both men lay together panting and sated.  
  
    Dean reached off the bed, grabbing a handful of tissues and catching the trickle of semen when they separated. He cleaned them both up as best he could, wadding up the tissue and tossing it into the trashcan beside the bed. Castiel cuddled at his side when he lay back.  
  
    “So,” Dean began with a sigh, turning to plant a kiss on the Angel’s forehead. “The pants were a hit?”  
  
    Castiel chuckled, turning his face down against the hunter’s chest in embarrassment.  
  
    “They were very nice, yes,” he agreed. Dean smiled, pressing a kiss to the Angel’s temple.  
  
    “I’ll say,” he replied, settling down comfortably with Cas in his arms. He couldn’t keep the grin off his face as they closed their eyes and fell to sleep. Tomorrow would be his first Thanksgiving in thirty-one years that he really had something to be thankful for.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel lay in the dying candlelight, softly kissing and whispering sweet, loving words to each other. Dean knew he was probably grinning like a fool, listening to Cas’s low hum of “sweet nothings”, but they were not “nothings” to him. They were words of praise, of love, of devotion - and Dean felt he could survive on the sound of them. They were everything. Sweet everythings.  
> “What would I do without you, buddy,” Dean murmured, cuddling down into the bed and Castiel’s embrace. Castiel was quiet a moment before he replied, thoughtfully running a hand through Dean’s hair.  
> “Masturbate a lot, I would imagine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is another long one. I couldn't find a good place to break it, and it didn't work as two chapters. The next one is a monster too, but it's one of my favorites. :) I hope you all enjoy this. It's rather smutty. Apparently there is just rampant porn in every chapter, and I was under this delusion I was writing a fluffy love story lol. :D

    Dean was in a deep and comfortably sleep when a soft knock on the bedroom door woke him. He blinked his eyes, squinting over at the clock. Surprisingly, it was almost nine - three hours later than he had been used to waking. Castiel was still sleeping soundly, curled into the hunter’s chest. Dean looked back over his shoulder toward the door, speaking as loudly as possible without disturbing Cas.  
  
    “Yeah?”  
  
    “Dean?”  
  
    It was Sam. Dean looked back down to Castiel who had stirred, rolling onto his stomach and turning his face toward the far wall. Dean gave him a gentle kiss on the shoulder.  
      
    “C’mon in, Sammy,” he spoke, turning onto his back and sitting up. The door opened slowly, and Sam stuck his head inside. Dean was looking sleepily back at him, running a hand through his already disheveled hair.  
  
    “Hey,” Sam whispered. “Sorry to bother you. I just, it was getting late, and I just wanted to let you know that I fed the baby and I gave her a bath-”  
  
    “You’re welcome,” Dean smirked, cutting him off. Sam gave a huff of laughter.  
  
    “Yeah. Really,” he agreed. Both men knew how enamored Sam was with the infant. “Also, Jess made pumpkin cinnamon rolls with icing. We saved some for you both. They’re amazing. And mom said you should make Cas watch the parade...”  
  
    Dean looked down at the man at his side. He reached over, gently rubbing the bare, muscular expanse of Castiel’s back.  
  
    “Whattaya say, babe?” he spoke, both his voice and his touch causing Castiel to recoil into the mattress like a grumpy child. Dean chuckled. “We’ll be down in twenty minutes,” he told his brother.  
  
    Sam gave a nod, disappearing back into the hall and shutting the door behind himself. Dean cajoled the Angel out of bed, with a bit of caressing and kissing, and talked him into the shower. Dean was in a almost bouncing good mood when they joined the rest of the family downstairs.  
  
    “Good morning, mom,” he greeted Mrs. Winchester, hugging her and kissing her face.  
  
    “Good morning, sleepy head,” she returned, patting his cheek. “Glad you could join us.”  
  
    “What can I say?” Dean asked with a shrug. “Now that I got a nine-to-five, not much time to sleep in. Got to take advantage.”  
  
    “Good morning, dear,” Mrs Winchester said to Castiel, who followed Dean into the room. She pulled him down enough to give him a kiss on the cheek as well. “Did that mean man wake you up?”  
  
    “No,” Castiel replied plainly. “Sam actually woke me up, but not unkindly.”  
  
    Mary and Dean both laughed at the comment, and Mary had to shoo Dean from peaking into the oven at the turkey or trying to sample the cooling pies before he and Cas settled side by side at table and she served them the cinnamon rolls.    
  
    “Owh ma gowd,” Dean announced around a mouthful. “Thishis ahmashin-g”  
  
    Jessica beamed happily, and Sam beamed just as proudly at her.  
      
    “The parade started yet?” Dean called to the living room, where Bobby sat on the sofa holding the baby.  
  
    “Yeah,” the hunter called. “About ten minutes in.”  
  
    “C’mon Cas,” Dean spoke, picking up his plate and heading into the next room. “Let’s watch.”  
  
    Confused, Cas picked up his own plate and took the cup of coffee his mother-in-law handed him. The entire family gathered in the living room to watch. Dean settled on the floor next to the dark wood coffee table that was the newest acquisition in their growing number of household items. He sat his plate on the surface and tucked his legs underneath. Castiel mimicked him.  
  
    Mary settled between Bobby and Jessica, and Sam chose to sprawl out on the floor instead of taking over the love seat. Castiel watched with eyebrows raised in interest at the large balloons, the Broadway numbers, and the marching bands. He leaned forward as the parade group had come to a stop, and the camera zoomed in on a group of children in fluffy tutus dancing around a ballerina as she twirled and leapt on pointe shoes.  
  
    “What,” he asked slowly, his eyes narrowing. “Is the point of this display?”  
  
    The others looked at each other.  
  
    “It’s a parade!” Dean replied. “It’s fun to watch. It’s a distraction.... it’s tradition.” he finished, blandly. “Some of my best memories were the two times we got to stay with Bobby on Thanksgiving and watch the parade.”  
  
    “Had to practically force ya,” Bobby reminded him with a grumble that held little conviction with the half-smile he wore. Sam rolled over and looked back at them.  
  
    “I remember watching the parade a lot as a kid,” he told his brother. “Not just at Bobby’s.” he smiled broadly. “Remember that one year, when we had the leftover pie with all that whipped cream on it, and we were in the hotel where the manager gave us the free hot chocolates?” Dean’s face didn’t seem to register the memory, so Sam continued. “We watched the parade from the bed, eating pie. You _have_ to remember the pie, Dean.” he laughed.  
  
    “Yeah, I remember,” Dean spoke, forcing a smile onto his face. The manager had given him the half a pie and two ham sandwiches when she saw him staring into the dining room from his spot in front of the vending machine, trying to decide how to spend his last two dollars. He was only eleven, but it wasn’t their first thanksgiving on their own.  
  
    Mary seemed to sense Dean’s hesitance and she stood.  
  
    “I’m going to start on the dressing,” she announced. “I hope cornbread, cranberry dressing is okay with everyone.” the group at large agreed whole heatedly. Dean waited a few moments before rising, taking the empty plates.  
  
    “You want more coffee, Cas?” he asked. The Angel shook his head, and Dean moved into the kitchen where his mother was preparing the wet ingredients for the cornbread dressing. “Hey mom,” he greeted, opening the dishwasher and putting the plates and forks inside. “Have I told you yet today how happy I am you’re here?”  
  
    “Not today, no,” she replied with a smile. Dean leaned in to give her a half hug and stepped away to lean against the counter, watching her work. They were silent a moment before Mary spoke. “I don’t know how you did it Dean,” she said with a controlled sigh. “I mean, Sam told me a lot, but even that I only think was part of it.” Dean felt his throat constrict as she looked up at him. There was heartbreak and hurt in her eyes, but no tears. She shook her head.  
  
    “Mom,” Dean spoke quietly, looking down at the floor. “It’s okay. We made it out okay.”  
  
    “ ‘Okay’ is not what I wanted for my children.” she told him. “I didn’t set out to give you an ‘okay’ life - which isn’t what you had, Dean. It was not ‘okay’.”  
  
    Dean nodded; he couldn’t argue with her.  
  
    “It’s better now,” he reminded her, trying to grin. Both turned out to the living room, where their family was enjoying the television program. “So much better.”  
  
    Mary smiled, letting Dean kiss her on the cheek before he returned to the living room. She was happy for him, she really was, but his happiness now didn’t make up for what her husband took from him as a child. And she knew, sadly, that this could never be forgiven. Never redeemed.  
  
    Dean returned to the living room. He settled back at Castiel’s side, but instead of off to the side, he slid in hip to hip with the Angel, putting an arm around him. Bobby handed the baby down to Cas, and the Angel cuddled the baby to his chest and leaned into Dean. Bobby shook his head, surprised by Dean’s comfort with such public affection for the other man. For anyone, really. He was so happy for him.    
  
    At one, the six of them settled around the table to eat dinner. Castiel was taken aback that they were considering this meal to be “dinner”, but when the table was set, he soon understood. Dean further explained that he wouldn’t want to eat again for the rest of the day anyway. Halfway through the meal, with everyone still laughing and chatting, Mary spoke.  
  
    “Oh darn, we should have started by speaking about what we’re grateful for,” she said with a not-too serious frown. Jessica grinned, looking to Sam.  
      
    “We can still do that.” she said. “I can start.” her smile broadened as all eyes turned to her. “I’m thankful that Sam and I are back together,” she said, taking the younger Winchester’s hand. “And I’m thankful that he’s the one driving the four hour trip up north because I will need a nap after this.”  
  
    “Here, here,” Dean agreed, lifting his glass. Sam chuckled, clearing his throat as Jess encouraged him with:  
  
    “Now you go,”  
  
    “Well,” Sam began. “Pretty much the same, except for the nap part. I’m grateful to have Jess.”  
  
    Mrs. Winchester ‘aw’ed’ at the way the young blonde grinned at her son. She turned to Castiel.  
  
    “Cas?” Mary asked. “What are you grateful for?”  
  
    Cas seemed surprised to be called on, as if this was not something he would have normally been asked to do. He licked his lips.  
  
    “I... I have too much to be grateful for than can be recounted in a single sitting,” he began, dropping his hands nervously into his lap. “I am grateful for my family - for Dean and Mary - and I am increasingly grateful for the acceptance you all have shown me.” The Angel could feel Dean’s foot rub against his and he looked up at the younger man’s smiling face.  
  
    “What about you Dean?” Mrs. Winchester asked. Dean shook his head.  
      
    “Easy question,” Dean said assuredly. “I’m thankful that these pants have enough room in them for seconds.”  
  
    Laughter bubbled up from the table, except from Cas who looked quizzically at his husband.  
  
    “Well, I,” Mrs. Winchester spoke as the laughter died down. “Am grateful for my two beautiful sons, their two beautiful partners, a _gorgeous_ granddaughter, and,” she smiled fondly, turning to the older hunter at the head of the table. “for a friend that I had for twenty five years before we even met.”  
  
    Dean and Sam both raised their glasses.  
  
    “To Bobby,” Dean spoke, and the rest of the group raised their glasses as well. The older hunter flushed slightly, and he shook his head.  
  
    “I’m grateful this holiday only comes once a year.” he quipped, starting the laughter all over again. Mrs. Winchester merely smiled, leaning over to pat his hand.    
  
    After a hearty and filling meal, and a slice or two of pumpkin pie, Dean and Bobby returned to the living room. Sam and Cas helped Mrs. Winchester clean up the kitchen while Jessica went into the bedroom to gather her and Sam’s belongings for their stay at her parent’s.  
  
    Dean checked on the baby, napping quietly in the swing, and he dropped himself on the sofa. He pulled a pillow under his head, kicking off his shoes and Bobby turned on a football game. In twenty minutes, Castiel joined them, and Dean beckoned him to sit on the sofa with him. Cas settled on the end of the couch, pulling Dean’s feet into his lap. Once he started massaging the younger man’s feet, Dean slipped pleasantly to sleep.  
  
    After an hour, Jessica and Sam loaded up their car and said their goodbyes. Both leaned over Dean’s sleeping form to hug him and whisper goodbye. Dean was groggy, but he hugged Sam tightly and murmured a reply.  
  
    “You drive safely, brother,” he said in Sam’s ear. “You be safe.”  
  
    Sam felt a surprising surge of emotion, and he hugged Dean tightly before rising. He ruffled Castiel’s hair, leaning down to hug him too.  
  
    “Take care, Sam,” Cas told him. “And I _will_ run tomorrow.”  
  
    Sam chuckled.  
  
    “I was only teasing you, Cas,” he replied. “Besides, you hardly ate a thing. You may have to send Dean out for a few miles though.”  
  
    “Fuck off,” came Dean’s muffled, slurred response.  
  
    Sam laughed, before moving away to say goodbye to Bobby and his mother, making a quick backtrack to kiss the baby on final time, and he and Jessica left for the Moore’s.  
  
    The sports game was interesting, but Cas couldn’t understand all the rules and there was a lot of time spent just watching the players standing around waiting for the game to begin again. As much as he wanted to join in on this other tradition of the holiday, he found himself nodding off with his hands holding Dean’s feet in his lap. When Mary gently shook him, it was almost four in the evening. Dean woke slightly grumpy, complaining of a stomach ache and no one bothered to bring up his mass quantities of dinner. Mrs. Winchester made turkey sandwiches for true supper at six pm, but only she and Cas ate.  
  
    There was another sporting game on in the evening, and Dean and Bobby watched it with enthusiasm. Cas sat beside Mrs Winchester on the couch, holding his daughter and watching his mother-in-law as she sewed embroidery on a baby blanket. She had made one similar for Mary over a month ago, and Castiel was intrigued why the need for another.  
  
    “Mom?” he spoke quietly. The word always sounding funny to him, but she insisted that he did not call her Mary or - heaven forbid - Mrs. Winchester. She smiled up at him.  
  
    “Yes?”  
  
    “I see you are making an infant blanket,” he commented, nodding toward her work. “Do you know someone expecting a child?”  
  
    Mary smiled wistfully, smoothing her hand along the patchwork blanket.  
  
    “My boys aren’t getting any younger.” she told him. “With Dean and Sam both married - well, practically - there’s going to be another grandchild eventually. I’m trying to get a jump on the next one.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, looking over to Dean. The hunter was setting on the edge of the sofa, poised to cheer as he watched the sporting game progress.  
  
    “It could be you two,” Mary said, pulling him back to her attention. “Don’t give up hope.”  
  
    Castiel nodded. He _hadn_ ’t given up hope. Not really.  
      
    Dean continued to complain of a stomach ache even up until bedtime. Castiel offered to attempt soothing him with his Angel powers, but Dean waved him off.  
  
    “Nothing twenty minutes in the bathroom won’t cure, Cas, I assure you,” he grumbled as they were getting the baby ready for bed. “Seriously,”  
  
    Castiel grimaced. Defecation was his least favorite, and almost most memorable, aspect of humanity. He considered himself lucky to only have to deal with the needs to eat, sleep, and have intercourse. But he knew elimination had to be on the horizon, waiting. He dreaded it’s return. But, if his hair was growing, it was only a matter of time.  
  
    About an hour before bedtime, Dean did disappear into the bathroom and returned nearly a half hour later, showered and ready for bed. His mood was noticeably better, and Castiel could only deduce he no longer had an elimination issue. Castiel took a shower just for the hell of it. They had laundered their bed sheets that morning, and Cas enjoyed the human sensation of clean skin on fresh sheets. Once showered, he didn’t bother dressing and fell into bed beside his husband. Dean was reading another very worn paperback, but appeared to only be a couple pages in.  
  
    “What is that one about?” Castiel asked, rolling onto his side and arranging the pillows beneath his head. Dean smiled.  
  
    “It’s about a boy who runs away from home, away from his dad, and lives in the mountains in a tree house with his pet falcon. I loved this book as a boy. The kid in this book really knew how to take care of himself, live off the land, didn’t need any grown-ups to help him survive.”  
  
    Castiel considered this a moment.  
  
    “Is that a normal adolescent compulsion?” he asked. “To escape one’s parents?”  
  
    Dean shrugged.  
      
    “Yeah, I think so. At least at some point.”  
  
    Cas was quiet again before asking.  
  
    “Do you think Mary will feel that way some day?”  
  
    Dean sighed, setting the book in his lap.  
  
    “Probably.” he admitted. “If she’s anything like either of us, she’s going to have her own mind, so... yeah, we’re going to have our hands full.” he chuckled a bit at Castiel’s look of concern. He leaned over, pressing his lips to the Angel’s. “Don’t worry baby, our kid’s not going to want out of our life. We’re going to be different.”  
  
    “I’m sure every generation thinks that,” Castiel replied with a sigh. He reached over and absently stroked Dean’s thigh. “Will you... will you read it to me?” he asked. Dean smiled, holding out an arm and inviting Cas in closer. The Angel snuggled against him, resting his head against Dean’s chest. Dean cleared his throat.  
  
    “My Side of the Mountain - chapter one: _In which I hole up in snowstorm_ ,” he gave a small snort of laughter at the dialect, and continued. “ _I am on my mountain in a tree home that people have passed without ever knowing that I am here. The house in a hemlock tree six fee in diameter, and must be as old as the mountain itself. I came upon it last summer and dug and burned it out until I made a snug cave in the tree that I now call home.._.”  
       
    True to form, Castiel was asleep before the first chapter concluded. Dean leaned down to kiss his still damp waves of hair, but kept him snuggled in tight. Instead of continuing to read, Dean sat the book aside and simply enjoyed the act of holding the man in his arms. Cas was so beautiful, his tan skin smooth in the dim light of the single lamp, his face calm and innocent looking in sleep. Dean brought up his free hand and slid his fingers through Castiel’s hair, his fingertips drawing down the other man’s jaw. Cas stirred, moaning slightly and pressing his body into Dean’s.  
  
    Dean smiled, kissing the Angel again, softly, on the top of the head. This was it, really, his true reason to be thankful. Everything he had now, everything that made life happy and beautiful and worth living for again was because of this man. And he loved him. And he didn’t fucking care who knew it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Mary and Bobby left to return to South Dakota on Friday afternoon. Mary assured Dean they would be back the week before Christmas. Both he and Cas were sad to see them go, and the house felt unusually empty with just the two of them and the baby. Castiel set to tidying up the kitchen and started on a load of baby laundry - which frankly, was always surprising how much laundry one infant could amass - and Dean settled in the living room to watch TV. On one of Castiel’s passes through the living room, Dean called out on him.  
  
    “Cas,” he spoke, holding out his hand toward the Angel. “Buddy, sit down. Relax a bit. The housework’s not going anywhere.”  
  
    Castiel took the offered hand and let Dean pull him down onto the sofa, but he spoke in protest.  
  
    “I wanted to get some things finished before the baby woke from her nap.”  
  
    “It can wait,” Dean assured him. “We’ll do it together later.”  
  
    He put his arm around the Angel and kept the other hand entwined with Castiel’s. Dean was watching a documentary style show about sharks. Cas didn’t sit at his side long before he was turned and cuddled into Dean’s chest, gently nuzzling his throat.  
  
    “Good man,” Dean murmured, wrapping both arms around the Angel and holding him tightly.  
  
    “This is a significant benefit to being home alone,” Cas reasoned, “Although I do miss everyone.”  
  
    “Can’t be helped,” Dean smirked, leaning down to capture the Angel’s mouth. “Shame to waste the opportunity...”  
  
    Castiel began placing soft, warm kisses on the hunter’s neck as Dean ran his hand’s over Cas’s arm and slipping down to massage down his chest and across his side. Castiel moaned appreciatively, his lips traveling up to Dean’s jaw before the hunter turned his face down and their lips met.  
      
    Their kisses were slow and deep and passionate; their lips pressing softly, tongues gently exploring. Castiel slipped his arms around Dean’s neck as the hunter pulled the Angel’s legs over his lap and leaned him back onto the sofa.  
  
    “I could do this all day,” Dean murmured, running a hand through Cas’s wavy hair.  
      
    “Me too,” Castiel admitted, his eyes narrowing as he studied Dean’s face. “This human interaction of kissing, it surprises me how much pleasure that can be obtained from simply pressing your lips against another’s. However,” his brow furrowed thoughtfully. “I imagine it would not be as pleasurable if done with someone else... say Sam... or Bobby...”  
  
    “Babe,” Dean chuckled, dropping his head onto Castiel’s chest. “Haven’t we talked about appropriate and inappropriate romantic conversation?” he asked.  
  
    Castiel nodded.  
  
    “My apologies.” he replied.    
  
    Dean chuckled, rubbing the Angel’s arm affectionately and the two settled as they were, turning their attention back to the television program. Dean kept his arms around Cas, and his mind wandered from the documentary as he looked down at his husband and then around at his little house. He felt a deep sense of pride at what they’d accomplished in such a short amount of time, and looked forward to what they could have in the future... the near future, for some things...  
  
    The baby monitor on the coffee table lit up as the sound of Mary’s quiet fussing came through the speaker. Dean and Castiel disentangled themselves and rose from the sofa.  
  
    “I’ll get the laundry,” Dean spoke, “You get the baby and I’ll meet you right back here. Family time, okay? The three of us.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, nodding in agreement.  
  
    “I’ll be right back,”  
  
    Dean watched him go before turning to the hall where the laundry room was tucked behind the staircase. He grabbed the empty laundry basket from the floor, opened the dryer and began to empty the tiny baby clothes from the machine. He was grinning for no reason again, making sure to get all of the baby socks from the crevices of the drum. Closing the door to the dryer and carrying the basket in to the living room. Cas came down stairs with Mary in his arms, speaking softly to her in Enochian.  
  
    “No secrets, you two,” Dean smirked, setting on the couch and beginning to fold each little infant garment. Castiel settled at his side, and held Mary in the crook of his arm so she could face Dean. The hunter leaned over and kissed her sweet, chubby face. Mary squealed and cooed, gazing raptly at her father’s face.  
  
    The shark program continued, but the three Winchesters spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other’s company, all else forgotten.  
  
    As instructed by his mother-in-law, Castiel only reheated enough leftovers for one serving each so that Dean wouldn’t make himself uncomfortable again. They ate around five thirty, so they had plenty of time in the evening to play with the baby and watch TV together before going up to bed.  
      
    At eight thirty, they took the baby up and bathed her, dressing her in her pajamas and Castiel held her in the rocking chair until she was asleep. When he put her in the crib and walked back across the hall, he was surprised to see the dark room lit by several pillar candles located on each bedside table.  
  
    “Dean?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. Dean came out of the bathroom, dressed in nothing but his sleep pants, and had a wide grin on his face.  
  
    “Got the house all to ourselves,” he said, moving to stand in front of Cas and kissing him. “So I thought... what they hell, huh?”  
  
    “This is... romantic... right?” Castiel asked. Dean shrugged, looking over at the bed.  
  
    “Only if you think so,” he replied. Castiel’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he looked up at Dean.  
  
    “Do you think so?”  
  
    Dean shrugged, bringing a hand to the back of his neck.  
  
    “... Yeah... “  
  
    Castiel smiled, leaning up and kissing the hunter.  
      
    “I agree.” he kissed him once more. “I’m going to get ready for bed.”  
  
    “Don’t take long,” Dean advised, crossing to set on the mattress. He opened his phone and scrolled through the music, quickly creating a playlist of his favorite classic rock ballads and set it to random and continuous repeat. When Castiel emerged from the bathroom, dressed in his pajamas, Dean grinned, nodding along to the first, slow guitar solo. “Huh?” he asked, fishing for approval as he crossed the room to pull the Angel into his arms. “What’cha think? Nice huh?” He leaned in to kiss Castiel firmly on the throat. “Does it get your motor running?” he murmured against the Angel’s skin.  
  
    “It’s... interesting.” Castiel returned, letting his head fall slightly back to give the hunter more room to work.  
      
    “S’that it?” Dean asked. “It doesn’t make your blood warm? Raise the hairs on your neck?” his hands slid down Cas’s back, over the curve of his buttocks and closing over the firm muscle. Castiel gave an amused smile.  
  
    “... are you trying to seduce me, Dean Winchester?” he asked. Dean leaned back, a grin on his face.  
  
    “And if I am?” he asked. Castiel raised an eyebrow, draping his arms over the taller man’s shoulder’s.  
  
    “I think that would be an easy conquest.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, leaning back in to kiss the Angel’s mouth. They held each other, kissing deeply, yet casually; a wonderful sense of comfort in each other making these moment’s more intimate and precious. They backed toward the bed, hands roaming over bare flesh and pulling each other in close. Dean sat back on the mattress, his lips traveling over Cas’s chest, using his tongue to tease all the places he newly discovered to delight the Angel. Castiel moaned, taking a cleansing breath, running his fingers through Dean’s hair as he watched his husband.  
  
    “Come up here, baby,” Dean spoke, settling back on the bed as Castiel climbed in with him. Dean peppered kisses across his belly and hip, pulling the Angel’s cotton pants down his thighs. Dean licked his lips, his eyes taking in the smooth, turgid length of Castiel’s erection where it stood already thick and full between his legs. He practically purred, closing his hand over the other man’s length and taking it into his mouth.  
  
    Castiel let out a heavy breath, his hands soothing over Dean’s neck and shoulders as the hunter bobbed his head. Cas’s eyes fluttered closed and he took several moments to enjoy the feeling of heat and suction that enveloped him. He bit his lip, opening his eyes to look down at Dean, affectionately petting the younger man’s hair.  
  
    “Dean,” he moaned, the word causing his husband to pull back, looking up at him as he continued to slowly stroke his erection.  
      
    “Yeah baby?” Dean whispered in reply. Castiel looked down at him, his blue eyes almost complexly dark with lust.  
  
    “May I... I want to be inside you...”  
  
    Dean grinned, giving a wag of his eyebrows.  
  
    “I thought you’d never ask.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, leaning down and kissing Dean, pressing him back into the mattress. Dean helped Cas work off his pants and he spread his thighs so the Angel could settle there. There wasn’t a second thought in his head at this point; he wanted Cas inside him, wanted to feel that connection and to feel the unique sensation of being so intimately touched. And he didn’t care. Cas was his husband. He loved everything about their relationship, about their marriage, about the way their bodies worked together.  
  
    Castiel wasn’t as confident in taking the dominant role in their relations. Dean was always appreciative and satisfied by his actions when he was more intense and forceful, but that wasn’t his intention tonight. He wanted to move slowly, feel every nuance of Dean’s body.  
  
    “Why so serious?” Dean whispered, slowly stroking lubricant onto the Angel’s shaft. “Relax baby.” he leaned up, nipping Castiel’s ear before whispering. “You’re going to be amazing. You’re always amazing.”  
  
     “Thank you Dean,” Castiel replied, and the honest sweetness of the response made Dean smile and he kissed the Angel deeply. He moaned against Cas’s mouth as he felt the blunt, slick head of his shaft push firmly inside, spreading him slowly. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, letting his thighs fall comfortably wide as Cas struck a steady, slow rhythm with his hips.  
  
    “Oh god, baby,” Dean groaned, sliding his hands down the Angel’s muscular back and sinking his fingers into the flesh of his butt. “So good... right there...”  
  
    Castiel breathed evenly, responding to Dean’s encouragement by keeping his thrusts focused where he could drive against his husband’s prostate with every stroke. Dean shuddered, and Cas turned to worship the hunter’s throat with his lips. Dean couldn’t tell if his heartbeat was thumping in time to Castiel’s, or to the bass of the song playing softly in the background, and Dean thought vaguely to himself that he preferred the sound of Cas’s panting breaths and the sound of skin meeting skin over any music.  
  
    Dean cupped Castiel’s face in his hands, pulling him up so their lips could meet, consumed by their deep and soulful kisses until he could no longer concentrate on anything but the tight coiling pulse of pleasure in his groin. And then it was he who was panting, staring up into Castiel’s eyes as he felt the tension in his body break and he came in a burst of wet heat against Cas’s belly.  A long, low groan was pulled from him as Cas continued to move, extending the waves of pleasure that rolled through him until the Angel met his own end.  
  
    They lay quietly in the dark, watching the flickering shadows the candles cast onto the ceiling. Castiel was placing soft, tiny kisses on the hunter’s jaw and Dean was content to let him.  
  
    “I think I’m going to put that on my list of top five sexual encounters,” Dean sighed, his fingers slipping through the Angel’s hair. Castiel leaned up, looking down at his husband with curious interest.  
  
    “What is your top one?” he asked.  
  
    Dean grinned, pulling the older man back down against his chest.  
  
    “It’s a tie, actually,” he admitted. “Between the first time I got to watch you so _beautifully_ lose yourself with me,” Castiel gave a huff of embarrassed laughter, and Dean’s grin widened. “And the time you fucked me senseless in the backseat of my car.”  
  
    Castiel gave another huff of laughter, a grin on his lips and he turned his face down into Dean’s neck.  
  
    “Those are some of my favorites, too,” he admitted, his voice a deep murmur against the hunter’s skin. Dean smirked, pulling away slightly so he could look down at Cas.  
  
    “Some of?” he asked, reaching down and pinching the Angel’s abdomen in a teasing way. “Preach revelation, Castiel. Tell me your best memory of sin.”  
  
    Cas blushed deeply, but he shook his head.  
  
    “That’s blasphemy, Dean,” he spoke gravely. Dean sobered slightly, but he continued to smile.  
  
    “Sorry.” he admitted, leaning down to kiss the other man, demonstrating the apology with his lips. Cas was smiling again when the hunter pulled away. Dean grinned. “What’s your favorite memory.”  
  
    Castiel pressed in closer to Dean, running his hand absently over the hunter’s bare chest.  
  
    “That’s really difficult to say...” he began. “I am quite fond of my first experience of sexual intercourse.”  
  
    “Mm,” Dean agreed happily, pressing a kiss to Cas’s hair. “Me too.”  
  
    Castiel pulled him tighter.  
  
    “And my... my first time feeling you inside me...”  
  
    “God I loved that,” Dean groaned, his hand sliding down Cas’s back. Castiel’s warm, lean body pressed back against him.  
  
    “And, the first time after you came back from California...” he heard Dean’s deep sound of agreement. Castiel rubbed his jaw against Dean’s chest, his lips gently brushing the skin beneath his cheek. “But my favorite - if I had to chose, which it is nearly impossible - would have to be... the first time I got to make love to you as Castiel Winchester... That was... everything...”  
  
    Dean gave a gentle sigh, his hand raising to Cas’s chin and molding to the Angel’s jaw, turning his face to look up at him.  
  
    “Leave it you,” he spoke, softly. “To pick the right answer when there isn’t one.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, reaching up to brush away the tear that formed in the corner of the younger man’s eyes.  
  
    “Why are you crying? It was a good, happy memory.” he told him.  
  
    “The best,” Dean agreed, taking Castiel’s hand and kissing it. He laughed, wiping his eyes. “Fuck, I dunno.” Cas tilted his head, and Dean sighed. “You’ve wrecked me, you know? Things used to... not get to me so much. I mean Sammy, yeah, but... not relationships, not romance, not... not love. I’m married! I’ve got a kid!” Castiel was watching the hunter curiously as he spoke, without comment and without judgment. “And... and it’s fucking awesome.” he smiled when the Angel smiled back, brilliantly. “All those things that I didn’t think I wanted, didn’t think I could have, and...” he frowned, shaking his head. Castiel touched his cheek.  
  
    “Don’t stop,” he spoke softly. “This is a safe place here... with me.. Don’t stop talking.”  
  
    Dean smiled.  
  
    “I love you so much, you don’t even know.” he said. Castiel licked his lips, shifting in Dean’s arms and moving to lie over him.  
  
    “So tell me,” he asked. Dean flushed, looking up at the Angel. Castiel’s voice was deep and even, and Dean could almost feel it in his own chest. “ _Tell me how much you love me._ ”  
  
    Dean let out an unsteady breath, staring up into those unearthly blue eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but the sound was stolen from him in a heavy exhale as the Angel shifted, entering him in one fluid, intense motion.  
  
    “Uh, my god...” Dean groaned, his eyes closing as his arms slid around the older man’s back. “Oh god baby, I love you.”  
  
    Their lips met, and their speaking ceased, the room filled once again with the sounds of mouths and bodies and slow rock. Castiel was pleasantly pleased with himself for the way Dean began grunting and cursing, before calling out his praises. When Cas settled at his side again, Dean sighed, heavily.  
  
    “Okay, my top five... have changed.”  
  
    Cas chuckled, wrapping Dean in his arms. They lay there in the dying candlelight, softly kissing and whispering sweet, loving words to each other. Dean knew he was probably grinning like a fool, listening to Cas’s low hum of “sweet nothings”, but they were not “nothings” to him. They were words of praise, of love, of devotion - and Dean felt he could survive on the sound of them. They were everything. Sweet everythings.  
  
    “What would I do without you, buddy,” Dean murmured, cuddling down into the bed and Castiel’s embrace. Castiel was quiet a moment before he replied, thoughtfully running a hand through Dean’s hair.  
  
    “Masturbate a lot, I would imagine.”  
  
    Dean began to chuckle, shaking his head in amusement. His hand slipped around Cas’s back and rested on his shoulder blade, and the hunter was quiet a moment before he spoke.  
  
    “You know... “ he said, lifting his head to look at his Angel. “It’s not... just the sex.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, leaning in to kiss Dean on the nose.  
  
    “I know,” he said, a pale blush rising to his face. “But, I’m happy that I’ve improved.”  
  
    “Ugh,” Dean groaned, pulling the other man closer. “ ‘Improved’ is not the word for it. Because first of all, you were hot stuff from day one. Man...” he sighed, and Castiel noticed a slight change in his husband’s demeanor. “Why did I waste so much time. Why did I...”  
  
    “It’s alright, Dean,” Castiel insisted, cupping the back of Dean’s head and kissing the top of his hair. “We’re happy now. We’re so happy now.”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean agreed. “So happy. I’m so happy, Cas,” He pulled himself from Castiel’s arms, nearly attacking the Angel with kisses. He knew Cas would enjoy the attention, but he didn’t expect him to laugh so hard. Dean had never heard him laugh like this, and it made his heart swell. Dean smiled. “I love you.”  
  
    Cas sighed, his laughter settling down. He looked up at Dean, his blue eyes to so full of reciprocation.  
  
    “I could never doubt it,” he spoke softly. “Look at the life you’ve given me.”  
  
    Dean smiled, smoothing the hair back off of Cas’s forehead.  
  
    “We’ve given to each other,” he corrected, “And we got so much more ahead. You’ll see, Cas.”  
  
    “I know, Dean,” Castiel replied, snuggling back to the hunter’s side when Dean lay back down. “I’m looking forward to it.”  
  
    “It’ll be great,” Dean assured him. They lay in the silence a moment, once again transfixed by the flickering patterns on the ceiling. “We should probably put those out so the house doesn’t burn down in the middle of the night...” Dean commented.  
  
    Cas surprised Dean by pulling him in tighter instead of pulling away to put out the candles. Dean took a sharp breath, getting a glimpse of the large, dark shadow across the ceiling and wall before a gust of air swirled around the room, extinguishing the flames. Dean’s lips found Castiel’s in the dark, kissing him deeply as his hand traveling up the flat expanse of the Angel’s back, resting over his shoulder blade where the hinge of his wing would sit. Cas made a low moan, pulling away and burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck and letting the hunter wrap him in his arms.  
  
    Dean smiled, pulling his husband in tightly, kissing the top of his wavy hair.  
  
    “Castiel,” he sighed, his hand slowly stroking Cas’s arm. “I love you... ”  
  
    “Never stop loving me, Dean,” Cas whispered into the dark. He could feel Dean shake his head.  
  
    “I promised you forever, Angel,” Dean replied. “And I meant it.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean grimaced and groaned when an annoying pulsing noise pulled him from sleep. He squinted into he dark, but could see the silhouette of his husband leaning across the bed and silencing the cell phone alarm.  
  
    “Sorry Dean,” Castiel spoke quietly, rolling back over and kissing him gently on the lips. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just going to go run-”  
  
    “Nooo,” Dean groaned, pulling the Angel back into his arms. Cas’s bare skin was smooth and warm against his and he wanted to keep that warmth beside him in the cool morning air. “Stay with me, baby,” he murmured. “Run tomorrow. Stay with me.”  
  
    Castiel released a sigh that sounded suspiciously like a soft laugh, but curled back into Dean’s arms. The hunter fell back to sleep relatively quickly, and Cas held on to him, stroking his back and listening to the softness of his breathing. It warmed his heart to know that Dean, who in the entirety of their relationship had been known to be a restless, fitful sleeper, could now not only sleep through the night, but slept deeply and well.  
  
    Cas drifted back to sleep about ten minutes after Dean, and when Dean’s alarm sounded at six a.m., both stretched and exchanged soft kisses before rising. Dean went into the bathroom and Cas followed behind, pulling his sleep pants back on and washing his hands.  
  
    “If you get the baby,” Dean spoke, yawning spectacularly. “I’ll get her breakfast and meet you back up here in bed.”  
  
    “Of course,” Cas agreed, letting Dean pull him in for another kiss before they went their separate ways.  
  
    Mary was awake in her crib, cooing softly to herself and pulling on her feet. Her face lit up when she saw her father lean over the crib, blue eyes meeting blue.  
  
    “Blessed day, my precious,” Castiel spoke softly in Enochian, the closest expression there was to say “good morning”. He normally didn’t speak in Enochian, but he found that as his Angel powers slipped slowly away, he felt a little pull to share that piece of his culture with his child. Mary gurgled happily in reply as he held her close, kissing her chubby cheek as carried her to the changing table to change her diaper. By the time she was redressed and he carried her back to his bedroom, she was fussing for her breakfast. “Dean will be here soon, Mary,” he said soothingly, settling back against the headboard.  
  
    “Don’t call me Dean,” the hunter announced, returning to the room with a tray in his hands. “I thought I’d bring us some breakfast, as well as the munchkin.”  
  
    “Thank you,” Cas replied, taking the bottle from the tray and laying Mary back in his arms to feed her. He turned back to his husband to inquire. “Why can’t I call you Dean?”  
  
    Dean sat the tray between them, settling back against the headboard beside the Angel.  
  
    “ _You_ can call me Dean,” he replied. “Unless you are talking to Mary about me, then you have to call me ‘dad’ or something similar. So she knows you mean me.”  
  
    Castiel considered this a moment.  
  
    “... and how does she know if I am the one being addressed?” he asked. Dean shrugged.  
  
    “We’re both ‘dad’,” he replied, taking a piece of jelly covered toast from the plate on the tray and taking a bite. He offered it to Castiel, who also took a bite and chewed thoughtfully.  
  
    “How do you think she will differentiate between the two of us?” he asked. “If we just use ‘dad’?”  
  
    “Well,” Dean said, taking a sip of coffee before offering that to the Angel as well. “If you want, I’ll be ‘dad’ and you can be ‘daddy’... or... whatever.” he shrugged, taking another bite of toast before offering it up to Cas. He smirked, speaking around a full mouth. “You can be “mommy” if you like.”  
  
    Castiel chewed thoughtfully on his toast before responding.  
  
    “Motherhood is both admirable and noble,” he spoke, looking over at the hunter. “But it would be inappropriate for me to be called “mother” when you are the one who gestated and gave birth to our child,” before Dean had a chance to do anything but grimace in reply, Cas continued. “But I assume that you were trying to tease me.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, grinning.  
  
    “I guess we’re both dad, and we’ll just have to figure out who she means by context.” he replied. “I mean, if she’s talking to me, she’ll be talking about you and vice versa.”  
  
    “Or she can call us what she likes.” Castiel replied.  
  
    “Unless it’s ‘Dean’ and ‘Cas’,” Dean agreed. He smiled down at the baby who grinned back at him from around the nipple of her bottle. “Right?” he asked her, reaching in to tickle her chubby belly. “Right?” Castiel smiled a moment before admonishing,  
  
    “Enough of that, please,” he spoke. “You’ll make her spit up.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, taking another drink of the coffee.  
  
    “I’m gonna hop in the shower,” he announced, pulling himself from the bed. Castiel spoke a soft ‘okay’ as he continued to feed their daughter. Dean grinned at the sight, strolling into the bathroom and starting his shower. Cas joined him a few moments later, and Dean held the baby while Cas washed her up and he took her to be dried and dressed while the Angel bathed himself.  
  
    When Cas was dried and dressed, he met Dean downstairs where the hunter was loading the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. He smiled at Cas and handed him a fresh cup of coffee.  
  
    “So I was thinking that we could head into town and do some shopping,” he said, as Cas took the cup and leaned against the kitchen counter. “We need to get some household things, but I thought you might want to take the chance to get some more clothes since you haven’t really had the opportunity to build up a wardrobe.”  
  
    Cas shrugged, giving a slight nod.  
  
    “Can we go to a store that sells linens?” he asked. “We only have the one set of sheets for our bed, and I’d think that it would be convenient to have more.”  
  
    “Whatever you want,” Dean told him, pulling him in for a quick kiss.  
  
    They gathered the baby things and their coats, taking the short twenty minute drive into the shopping area of their city. Dean kept a hand on the Angel’s thigh as he drove, and the two made small talk about the items they needed to be sure to buy before returning home - such as laundry detergent and bath soap. They chose to shop at Target since it would have everything they needed in one place.  
  
    Dean helped Cas strap the baby carrier into the cart and the two of them wandered through the bright store. They started in the household goods side, quickly compiling all the things they needed, before crossing into the the domestics department. Dean stood at the end of the isle, leaning on the cart and grinning as he watched Cas pick up packages of sheets and inspect the material tags. He turned toward Dean, a frown on his face.  
  
    “What does ‘thread count’ mean?” he asked. Dean grimaced, pulling out his phone and doing a quick search.  
  
    “The higher the thread count, the more durable and softer the fabric,” he read. “Probably more expensive too,” he added, looking around the isle. Cas’s forehead creased as he considered the packages in his hands.  
  
    “Is that... is that a concern?” he asked. Dean shook his head, pushing the cart with the baby further into the isle to stand closer to the Angel.  
  
    “No baby,” he replied. “You get what you want.”  
  
    “It’s _our_ bed, Dean,” Castiel commented. “You should have some say in it.”  
  
    Dean shrugged.  
  
    “Whatever is fine.” Dean assured him. He glanced around to make sure they were alone before adding. “When we’re in bed, I got something else on my mind.”  
  
    Castiel blushed, but smiled faintly as he looked back to the sheets.  
  
    “Why are there so many types?” he wondered, setting down a pale yellow set and picking up a green set. Dean looked over his shoulder.  
  
    “They’re different sizes,” he explained, pointing out the size on the package. “Ours is a queen size - so get these. If you can’t decide on the color, get both.”  
  
    “Are you sure?” Cas asked, grimacing as he mentally weighed the options in his mind. Dean sighed, hanging his head as he  leaned on the cart handle.  
  
    “Castiel Winchester,” he warned. “do not make me explain to you why we’ll need more sheets for when then other sheets are in the wash.” He raised an eyebrow and looked up at his husband, who was watching him curiously. “Because we are in the middle of a store and I guarantee you it won’t be appropriate.”  
  
    Cas’s blush deepened and he quietly placed both sets of sheets in the cart. Dean chuckled, and the two moved out of the isle.     
  
    “What do you want to do for lunch?” Dean asked, as they walked out of the home decor section and onto the carpeted area of the clothing. Cas pushed his hands down into the pockets of his coat, shrugging his shoulders. Dean gave a soft smile at the humanity of the gesture, and he reached out touched the Angel’s back affectionately. “We could go out somewhere. Before we head home. Just the three of us, hm?”  
  
    “I’d like that,” Castiel replied. Dean grinned; he liked it as well. Having lunch out with his family. It gave him a warm feeling inside. He turned down to look at the baby, who was chewing happily on a teething ring. Dean leaned down, touching his nose to hers. Mary cooed, dropping the toy in favor of closing her tiny fingers into Dean’s stubble-covered jaw. Castiel smiled at them, but left Dean standing in the middle of the department as he browsed the racks of clothes.  
  
    While the first few days of being human - or if he was honest, the first few weeks of being human - were uncomfortable for Castiel for many reasons, one of the things that was hardest on him was leaving the safety of Jimmy’s dark navy suit and tan trench coat. Mrs. Winchester had bought him a few things of his own, and he had grown accustomed to supplementing his wardrobe with some of Dean’s older things. But, he didn’t know how to select things for himself. He dragged his hand over stacks of soft, folded T-shirts and trailed across the lines of hangers holding pairs of slacks.  
  
    Dean looked up and watched the Angel wander aimlessly around the menswear section. As much as he loved the other man, and wanted him to be content and happy, he wasn’t sure if his style should be left up to chance.  
  
    “Hey Cas,” Dean called as he unstrapped Mary from her carrier. “Lemme help.”  
  
    Castiel followed Dean, letting the hunter select a few items and herd him toward the dressing room. While Dean waited for Cas to emerge, he went ahead and picked out a few basic things that you could never have too much of, such as undershirts, socks, and underwear.  
  
    “Dean?”  
  
    Dean turned upon hearing his name, his breath hitching just a bit as his eyes fell on Castiel. The Angel looked back at him, an insecure, hopeful expression on his face. He was dressed in a pair of khaki slacks, and a cream and dusty orange striped sweater that fit just right across his compact, muscular torso. Dean licked his lips, nodding.  
  
    “That’s nice,” he commented. “Yeah. Get that.”  
  
    Castiel looked down at himself.  
  
    “Are you sure it isn’t too.... tight?” he asked. Dean’s forehead creased and he shook his head.  
  
    “No. No. It’s good. Did you try on the blue on?” Castiel shook his head. “Try that next.”  
  
    Cas nodded, turning back into the dressing room. Dean grinned, hugging Mary against him as he kissed her cheek.  
  
    “Your daddy’s one handsome sonofa-you-know-what,” he told her. “I’m putting you down for a long nap when we get home. What do you think, hm?” the baby only cooed happily in response, smiling at Dean’s attention. “Huh? You want to have lunch out with your dads and then go home and take a nap?”  
  
    Dean gave approval for two other shirts that he and Cas picked out - a short sleeved, blue button down and a short sleeved button down shirt that had a pattern similar to flannel in black, grey and blue - and the khaki pants were joined in the cart by a pair of dark washed blue jeans that sit happily low enough on the Angel’s hips to reveal the sharp angle of his hipbones and molded sinfully well to his backside. Cas wasn't so sure about the selection, but he felt a small thrill of happiness at the hungry look of approval in his husband's eyes.  
  
    As they left the clothing section, intending to head to the front of the store, Castiel’s attention was pulled to the bright and shiny signing in the next department.  
  
    “What is that?” he asked Dean, indicating the colorful reds, golds and silvers that hung from the ceiling. Dean followed his gaze.  
  
    “Oh, that’s the seasonal stuff. Christmas and whatnot... Decorations and things.”  
  
    Castiel watched the shoppers that were moving through the holiday section. He turned back to Dean.  
  
    “Oh,” he commented. Dean raised an eyebrow.  
  
    “You want to check it out?” he asked. “We got nothing but time. I’m not in a hurry.”  
  
    Castiel looked back at colorful signing and the activity in the area.  
  
    “If... if we have time,” he replied. Dean kept Mary securely in his arm, he turned the cart toward the other end of the store. Cas placed his hand on the cart next to Dean’s, as if the gesture was meant to replace the holding of it. “Christ wasn’t born on earth in the winter,” he spoke as they stepped into the first seasonal isle. “It was spring, actually. And I find it interesting that, as a christian religious holiday, that there are so many pagan elements... not to mention the superficial commercialism or the fact that it’s celebrated around the world by non-Christians as well.”  
  
    Dean gave a snort of laughter, nodding.  
  
    “Well, it’s become more of a holiday to celebrate family and being grateful and stuff,” Dean replied. “I’m sure that there are some religious people who remember the true meaning. But I’ve never been much for it...”  
  
    “Why?” Cas asked, looking up at his husband curiously. Dean flushed, a slight warm feeling on his neck under the Angel’s scrutiny. “Don’t human’s consider it a happy time? Like the movie we watched on thanksgiving?”  
  
    “That was a movie,” Dean replied. “Real life... it’s different.”  
  
    He looked back down at Cas, who was now watching Mary where she had her head down against Dean’s shoulder.  
  
    “Your father didn’t keep the traditions your mother started, is that what you mean?” he asked grimly. Dean only shrugged.  
  
    At the end of the first isle, there was a metal rack filled with complementary idea books containing pictures of products and ways in which they could be displayed in the home. Castiel picked one up, flipping through the pages. Dean watched him quietly a moment.  
  
    “Do you... do you mind celebrating Christmas?” he asked.  
  
    “Well,” Castiel replied, closing the book. “Angel’s don’t celebrate holidays, since time isn’t exactly the same for us. But, I see nothing wrong with celebrating the fundamental ideals of the holiday - family, giving, charity... and it seems,” Cas looked out at the families moving through the area, the children with excited looks as they viewed the many colorful tree displays with brightly wrapped packages tucked underneath. “it seems to be so very, wonderfully human.” he concluded. “From an Angel’s perspective, we will have relatively little time on this earth together. These celebrations just add to the experience. I want to live a human life with you, Dean. I want Mary to have a human life.”  
  
    Dean felt a slight tightness in his jaw, and he nodded.  
  
    “You got it, buddy,” he agreed. “We’ll have a traditional Christmas. That’ll make mom and Sam happy too.” the smile on Castiel’s face was like a reward for the correct response, and Dean felt himself getting a slightly excited feeling of anticipation as they picked out a few Christmas decorations to start their family’s traditions.  
  
    With the trunk of the Impala full of shopping bags, Cas and Dean drove to a restaurant for lunch. The waitress seemed less than enthusiastic to see they had a baby with them, but was won over quickly by a smooth smile from Dean and the way her called her “darlin’ ” when he requested a cup of plain hot water.  
  
    “Your appeal to females has certain benefits,” Castiel spoke as he used the hot water to mix formula in a bottle for Mary. Dean chuckled, shaking his head as he handed the baby over.  
  
    “I’m just being friendly.” he replied. Cas smirked, looking around the dining room.  
  
    “It would appear that the wait staff and our fellow patrons are not fond of dining with infants.” he observed. “We are setting quite far from the other diners.”  
  
    “That’s fine with me,” Dean said, opening the menu. “I’ve never liked setting too close to the crowd. Besides, our baby is perfect so the jokes on them.” Castiel had to agree. Mary was perfect. “Whatt’re you in the mood for?” Dean asked. Castiel looked down at the menu on the table, unable to open it with his hands full feeding the baby.  
  
    “I’m quite hungry,” he said. “for something warm...something... filling. Whatever you think is good.”  
  
    Dean nodded in agreement and when the waitress came for their order, Dean ordered himself a roast beef sandwich and a chicken mushroom Alfredo for Cas. Once the order was place and the menus removed, Dean leaned across the table.  
  
    “So,” he began. “Christmas is a time for gift giving. So, what do you want for a gift?”  
  
    Castiel looked taken aback, as though he never considered the thought.  
  
    “What more could I desire, Dean?” he asked, seriously. “I have everything that you could possibly give me. I’m quite content.”  
  
    “Well, you gotta think of something,” Dean told him. “Christmas is about presents, and you’re getting presents. So... think about it.”  
  
    Castiel gave a soft smile.  
  
    “What do you want?” he asked. Dean smirked, shaking his head and leaning back in his chair.  
  
    “I don’t need anything,” he replied. “I couldn’t ask for more.”  
  
    Castiel gave an exasperated sigh, and Dean chuckled.  
  
    Mary was finished with her bottle by the time their food arrived, and Castiel lay her gently in her carrier which was perched on the chair beside his and strapped her in. He could tell she was tired, but she only chewed on her teething ring and watched her parents.  
  
    After lunch, the Winchesters returned home and Castiel immediately placed the new sheets in the washer while Dean put the rest of the shopping away. Once the bags were emptied and stashed in the pantry with their growing collection of shopping bags, Dean picked up the baby and carried her upstairs.  
  
    “You can barely keep your eyes open, precious,” he murmured, gently placing her on the changing table to put her in a fresh diaper before putting her down for a nap. Mary whined, yawning spectacularly, and kicking her feet in an attempt to stay awake. Dean smiled, lifting her up and laying her against his shoulder. “Tell you what,” he spoke, patting her back. “If you can stay awake through an entire chorus of ‘you give love a bad name’, I’ll let you stay up late and eat candy for dinner. How’s that sound?”  
  
    He began to pace the floor, bouncing gently at each step as he hummed the song. It wasn’t long before the baby was sleeping deeply, and Dean continued to walk to make sure she was asleep enough to stay down once he put her in the crib. He brushed a soft kiss across her forehead, his hand smoothing over her honey-colored hair as he gently lay her down and pulled the side of the crib up into place. The latch caught with a click and Dean waited to see if she would wake.  
  
    Dean pulled the blinds closed so when he turned off the light, the room was dimmed to a soft glow and he pulled the door closed just shy of completely shut when he left. Castiel was in the bedroom kneeling in front of the dresser as he put away laundry, and Dean crossed into the bedroom and dropped onto the bed to watch him.  
  
    “Whatcha’ doin’?” he asked, leaning his head against hand. Cas shut the bottom drawer, opening the next and tucking folded pairs of socks inside.  
  
    “Putting away the laundry,” he replied, rising from where he kneeled. “What are _you_ doing?”  
  
    Dean smirked, holding out a hand to the Angel.  
  
    “Undressing you with my eyes,” he admitted, giving a wag of his brows. Castiel smiled shyly, taking the offered hand and letting Dean pull him onto the bed as well. He kissed Dean deeply, letting the hunter wrap him in his arms. Castiel hummed contentedly, settling against Dean’s chest. Dean took a deep breath when Cas pulled away, and he pushed the Angel’s wavy chestnut hair back from his forehead. “You’re beautiful,” Dean murmured softly. Castiel blushed, his eyes rolling slightly as if in disbelief of the statement. “What?” Dean countered, smiling at the Angel. “Don’t pretend you don’t know.” Dean pulled him down for another kiss, sliding his hand down to rest in the small of Castiel’s back. “You make me crazy,”  
  
    “I find you quite sexually stimulating as well,” Cas replied, earning a chuckle from the hunter.  
  
    “Yeah?” Dean asked, a smirk on his handsome face. “Does that mean you might be in the mood for sex?”  
  
    Castiel dropped his eyes to Dean’s throat, his fingers gently brushing along the younger man’s neck.  
  
    “I... I could be persuaded...” he replied. Dean smiled, pulling Cas sharply against him and reversing their position on the bed. Cas moaned into Dean’s next kiss, letting the hunter’s tongue slip into his mouth and he pressed back with his own.  
  
    Dean was amazing. He always knew exactly where to touch, how hard, how soft. He worked his way in between Castiel’s thighs, rocking their pelvises together in a slow preview of what was to come. It made Cas moan, his body beginning to ache for more touch. When Dean sat back and began to tug on his clothes, Castiel willingly assisted in shedding the garments. Dean pulled Castiel’s jeans down the muscular expanse of his legs, placing kisses on the bare flesh as it was exposed. He moved off of the bed, discarding his own pants and underwear before crossing to the bedside table and retrieving the lubricant. Castiel watched him through heavy lidded eyes, his hand trailing over his abdomen as he waited for the hunter’s return. Dean dropped the bottle on the bed, crawling back over Castiel’s naked body.  
  
    “You look tired,” Dean observed, giving the Angel a hard, deep kiss before he had a chance to reply. “Maybe you would rather just sleep? You sure you’re up for this?”  
  
    “Isn’t that obvious?” Cas replied with a small smirk, pressing his hips up against Dean’s, sliding his erection against the hunter’s. Dean moaned, his eyes sliding closed but he smiled at the Angel’s boldness.  
  
    “Oh, baby,” he sighed, relaxing against Cas, settling comfortably between his thighs. He brought his lips to Castiel’s throat, tasting across the rough expanse of stubble covered flesh. “I could live here,” he breathed, bringing his mouth back to the Angel’s.  
  
    “I love you so much, Dean,” Cas whispered, his fingers threading through Dean’s hair. “I cannot imagine life any different than this now... I adore you.”  
  
    Dean grinned, slipping his arms around the Angel and grinding his hips against the other man’s warm flesh.  
  
    “I worship you,” he purred, capturing Cas’ mouth and sliding his tongue inside. Castiel moaned, pressing back against Dean’s bare skin, his fingers seeking purchase in the hunter’s short hair.  
      
    They continued to kiss each other and move their bodies together in slow, deliberate motions. Dean could feel the burn of wet heat against his abdomen where every push of his hips slid Castiel’s weeping erection across his belly. He groaned, the thought alone increasing the tension in his own shaft.  
  
    With reluctance, the hunter pulled away, setting back onto his heels between the Angel’s spread thighs. Castiel looked back at him, hair a mess and lips slightly kiss-swollen. He watched Dean through squinted eyes as the younger man pushed his knees further apart, wetting his fingers against his tongue and dropping his hand. Castiel took a deep pull of breath as Dean began massaging his slick fingertips against his opening. He wasn’t sure why his husband was using spit when the bottle of lube was just inches away, but Castiel wasn’t going to complain; the firm strokes were pleasant and arousing.  
  
    “You like that, baby?” Dean murmured, watching the flushed expression of awe on the Angel’s face. Cas swallowed, nodding mutely as his eyes followed Dean’s hand back to his lips. Dean caught more saliva on his fingertips, before continuing the firm, stroking of Cas’ entrance.  
  
    “Dean,” Cas moaned softly, twisting his hips as he tried to get more contact, seeking penetration. “I... I’m ready...”  
  
    Dean smiled, leaning down to place a soft kiss on the Angel’s hip.  
  
    “I know you are,” he spoke quietly, his breath tickling across Castiel’s skin. “But I got other plans for you,”  
  
    He glanced up to see Cas lift his head, his brows knitting together as he regarded him. Dean gave a wag of his eyebrows, dropping his head and taking Cas’s shaft into his mouth. The Angel groaned, dropping his head back to the bed and his hands once again seeking Dean’s scalp. Dean gave several deep, wet pulls on the Angel’s erection before pulling away, moving himself a little further back onto the mattress and pushing Cas’s thighs wider.  
  
    The first stroke of his tongue made Castiel’s hips buck in surprise, but Dean held him in place as he continued the wickedly intimate attention. Castiel was moaning, hands in his own hair as he submitted to his husband’s insistent exploration.  
  
    “Dean,” he groaned, one hand reaching out to fist into the comforter while the other twisted helplessly in his wavy hair. “Dean...” his words were broken by deep, shuttering breaths. “you don’t... have to... do this...”  
  
    “It’s not that I have to,” Dean replied huskily, his tongue tracing the quivering circle of muscle. “I want to,” Cas moaned deeply in reply. He could almost hear the smile in Dean’s voice when he spoke again. “Do you like this?”  
  
    There was silence for a few seconds, and Castiel’s answer was given in almost a whine.  
  
_“Yes_ ,”  
  
    Castiel groaned again, as if in defeat, pulling his knees higher to allow Dean room to maneuver. As Dean continued the insistent laving and pressing of his tongue, he brought his thumb up to firmly stroke the soft expanse of skin just above the Angel’s entrance. Castiel’s hips shuddered, and he gave a sharp cry of surprise that died into a low moan of pleasure. Dean tried not to grin.  
  
    Dean took his time, stroking his fingers and pressing his tongue until Castiel was wet, pliant and panting. He pushed himself back to his knees, sliding a hand down the firm plane of the Angel’s abdomen.  
  
    “Turn over for me, baby,”  Dean spoke quietly. Cas obeyed without question, eyes glazed with desire, and he rolled onto his stomach. Dean placed his hand’s gently on the Angel’s hips, guiding him up onto his knees. He leaned over, kissing Cas’s shoulder and the side of his throat as he molded his body over the other man’s. “Cas,” he breath, his lips brushing the Angel’s ear. “You tell me if you don’t like this. If you want me to stop, okay?”  
  
    Castiel only nodded, before dropping his head and watching Dean pick up the bottle of lubricant. He was breathing heavily, waiting for Dean to touch him once more. He didn’t have to wait long. Moments after the click of the bottle lid sounded, Dean was back against him, running a hand over his back and kissing down his spine. Castiel pressed back against him, aching for their bodies to connect. When he felt the hot, slick head of Dean’s shaft press against his opening, he hissed in anticipation and moaned at the following slow pressure of being filled.  
  
    Dean slid his shaft deep in to the hilt, resting his hand’s on the Angel’s hips as he began to set a steady pace in and out of his husband’s body. He let out the breath he was holding, looking down at the site before him.  
  
    “Easy, baby,” he soothed, using his hands to help Cas match his rhythm. He moved gently, getting the Angel accustomed to the new sensations this position afforded; it had to feel like he was hitting deeper, and at an angle that wasn't exactly what he was used to. Dean slid a hand up Cas’s back, stroking the length of his spine as he slightly increased his pace.  
  
    Castiel groaned, dropping down onto his elbows and resting his forehead against the bed. He reached back, touching Dean’s thigh, as if trying to ground himself. It felt weird to have Dean inside of him, but feel so disconnected from the rest of his body.  
  
    “Dean,” he moaned. “ _Dean_...”  
  
    “I gotcha, babe,” Dean replied, leaning back over and placing one hand on the bed so he could wrap the other arm around Castiel stomach. “Talk to me, Cas” he spoke. “Tell me what you want.”  
  
    “I... I don’t know,” Castiel admitted. “Just... more...”  
  
    Dean dropped his forehead to Cas’s shoulder, increasing the speed and force of each thrust. Castiel cried out, a hand coming up to grip Dean’s arm.  
  
    “Too much?” Dean asked quickly, pausing until the Angel responded in a breathy tone.  
  
    “No... no... don’t stop.”  
  
    Dean complied, drawing a steady stream of grunting breaths from the Angel. Dean continued to kiss his neck and shoulders, the way the other man would brokenly moan at each touch spurring him on.  
  
    “Oh, Cas,” Dean gasped, leaning back up and gripping Castiel’s hips for leverage as he thrust into the Angel’s tight heat. Castiel was panting, and he leaned his shoulder into the mattress, once again reaching back to hold on to Dean’s thigh. He bit his lip, grimacing from the overwhelming sensation of Dean surging deeply inside of him.  
  
    “Dean-ah!.... Dean...”  
  
    “I got you, baby,” Dean repeated, slowing his movements and adjusting the angle of his ascent. “How’s this? Tell me what you want.”  
  
    Castiel pushed himself back up on to his elbows, rocking back on Dean’s erection where it now slid firmly across his prostate on each pass.  
  
    “This... this is... _nnn_...”  
  
    Dean licked his lips, watching in awe as the Angel moved. He rested his hand on Cas’s lower back, returning to his earlier pace until the other man was making sharp exclamations at every forward push of Dean’s hips. Cas was back on his shoulder, pressing the side of his face against the bed as he moaned into the sheets.  
  
    Breathing heavily now, Dean pulled away from his husband and Castiel relaxed onto the bed, rolling onto his back and Dean moved to lay over him. Their mouths met hungrily, and they kissed deeply as Dean pushed back into Cas’s ready body. Castiel moaned against Dean’s mouth, keeping pace with Dean’s kisses until the younger man resumed the sharp, jolting thrust of his hips. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut, drawing his knees up and crossing his ankles behind the hunter’s back.  
  
    “How you doin’, Cas?” Dean asked breathily, watching the Angel for any signs that he was no longer enjoying the activity. “This okay?”  
  
    Cas swallowed hard, nodding quickly as he slipped his arms around Dean’s back, curling into his husband’s body as the pressure in his groin mounted.  
  
    “Dean, I...” he gasped, pressing his face into the crook of the younger man’s throat. Dean understood, and he slowed his movements, making deep, short thrusts that drove his erection right where Cas needed it most. “Ah!” Castiel gasped, his thighs closing against Dean’s hips and he twisted helplessly as the sensation overwhelmed him. “ _Dean..._ ”  
  
    Dean kissed the Angel’s face, leaning to whisper in his ear.  
  
    “Let it happen, baby. I gotcha...”  
  
    Castiel groaned, his body trembling before he tensed, his orgasm hitting so hard that his ejaculate spilled across his chest. Dean let out a huff of surprise, giving several final strokes before reaching his own release and he collapsed onto the warm, strong body beneath his. It took him a moment to catch his breath, and he leaned up, kissing Castiel gently and using his fingertips to wipe the tears from beneath his blue eyes.  
  
    “That was intense, huh?” he asked with a small smile. Cas nodded, his jaw tight. Dean leaned down, gently brushing his lips against the Angel’s. “You okay?”  
  
    “Yes,” Cas replied, his voice deep and quiet. “I just... I’m still getting used to the emotions that come with such... physical... vulnerability.”  
  
    “I know what you mean,” Dean agreed with a sympathetic smile. Castiel shook his head, grimacing as Dean reached down to gently withdraw from inside him.  
  
    “May I ask you something?” he began, his eyes following Dean as the hunter moved to grab the box of tissue beside the bed. “And you won’t... get mad?”  
  
    Dean looked hesitant and raised an eyebrow, but he nodded.  
  
    “Of course. I won’t get mad.”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment, watching his husband wipe the pearly fluid from his chest, shifting awkwardly when Dean began to clean up the remnants of his own release.  
  
    “How... how could you do this with people you don’t know?” Castiel continued, softly. “physical intimacy has such a profound level of trust... I don't see how you could feel comfortable doing this with a stranger.”  
  
    Dean sighed, tossing the soiled tissue in the can beside the bed and laying back down at Castiel’s side.  
  
    “That’s complicated.” he admitted. “Giving someone my body, that was easy. Well... I guess it wasn’t easy at first. You get used to it. To be honest, though,” he sighed. “It’s not something I really gave much thought to. I was just... just doing it because it felt good.” he brought a hand to Castiel’s chin, turning the Angel’s face to look at him. “If I knew how amazing it would be with you, I wouldn’t have wasted my time.”  
  
    Castiel blushed, averting his gaze.  
  
    “I’m still learning...” he admitted, quietly. Dean slid an arm around him, pulling him in tightly.  
  
    “You’re a quick study,” he praised, leaning in to kiss the Angel’s throat. He nuzzled the warm skin of Castiel’s neck murmuring softly. “and this is just for you now...I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”  
  
    Castiel sighed contentedly, relaxing into Dean’s embrace and closing his eyes. Within minutes, the Angel was asleep and Dean was happy to hold him for a quarter of an hour before pulling himself gently away and taking a shower. While Cas slept, Dean took the opportunity to gather the things he would need to hang the Christmas lights, which included visiting two of his neighbors in an attempt to borrow a ladder. The first house he visited was owned by an uptight-seeming middle aged couple who were quick to turn him away. The second was four twenty something college girls that invited Dean in for a beer and casual sex; when he decline, he heard one of them mention ‘he was old anyway’. Dean felt a surge of irritation that almost propelled him into his car and down to the nearest hardware store to buy his own damn ladder. As he crossed back to his own yard, his neighbor directly to his left was opening his garage door and pulling out his garbage cans. Dean sighed, moving toward the other house.  
  
    “Afternoon,” Dean called, earning the man’s attention. He appeared close to Dean’s age, maybe closer to Sam’s. He had short dark hair and black framed glasses. He gave Dean a neutral smile.    
  
    “Good afternoon,” he replied, taking Dean’s offered hand.  
  
    “I’m Dean Winchester,” Dean greeted, nervously pushing his hands into his pockets. “My family just moved in next door a about a month ago. Sorry I haven’t introduced myself before; it’s been a little hectic for us...”  
  
    The man nodded.  
  
    “I’ve seen a few people over there,” he commented. “The blonde baby and your wife, and... roommates?” he finished.  
  
    Dean felt a pull in his chest and he swallowed tightly, wondering how this guy would shoot him down. He didn’t need animosity with all his neighbors, particularly the close ones.  
  
    “My brother, Sam - the freakishly tall one,” he laughed nervously. “and the blonde is his girlfriend Jess. The baby is mine; my little Mary. The brunette is my.. my husband Cas.”  
  
    There was an odd expression on the man’s face, but he nodded.  
  
    “Oh. I’m Jeff.” he replied. “I’m sorry I didn’t come over to welcome you to the neighborhood when you first moved in. I’ve lived here for about five years, and I’ve tried it with a couple of the neighbors and found it was not well received. You see,” he gave a nervous laugh. “I live here with my partner Mark.”  
  
    Dean sighed, finding it was from relief. Jeff laughed.  
  
    “You’d think this town would be more accepting, but it’s not as progressive as it claims. But, it’s better than most. It’s not like we’re trying to live everyday like it's pride over here though, you know?” Dean laughed, nodding as if he understood. Jeff spoke again. “Where are you from?”  
  
    “Kansas,” Dean replied. “Cas is from Illinois.” Jeff’s eyes widened.  
  
    “Oh, so this must be acceptance utopia for the two of you,” he joked. “You want to come in for a cup of coffee?”  
  
    “Uh,” Dean looked back to the house, wondering if Cas and Mary were still asleep. “Sure. Thanks,”  
  
    Dean helped him pulled the cans to the curb before following him into the house. Dean looked around the living space, surprised at how the structure was identical to his and Cas’s house, yet looked so different with just the decoration and arrangement of furniture.  
      
    “Wow,” Dean commented. “This is nice.”  
  
    “Thanks,” Jeff smiled, leaning against the corner of the wall by the staircase. “Mark! Come down and meet our new neighbor.”  
  
    Dean could hear a voice answer from the second floor.  
  
    “The handsome secret agent? Or the school teacher with the sex hair?”  
  
    Jeff blushed and grimaced, turning an apologetic expression to Dean.  
  
    “The one that’s in the living room and can hear everything you just said.”  
  
    Dean gave a smile, and he and Jeff stood in the following silence. After a few moments, there were footfalls on the stairs and Jeff’s partner Mark entered the room, a sheepish smile on his face. He was not as tall as Jeff, but lean and lanky like Cas, and had sandy, light brown hair.  
  
    “Uh, hi,” he greeted Dean, extending his hand.  
  
    “Hi,” Dean replied, accepting the gesture of greeting.  
  
    Jeff continued the introductions.  
  
    “Dean, this is Mark. Mark, this is Dean Winchester. He just moved in next door with his husband and daughter, and his brother and his girlfriend.”  
  
    “Oh, thank god!” Mark laughed. “A neighbor that won’t give us the stink eye from across the street like Mr and Mrs Uptighterson.”  
  
    Dean laughed.  
  
    “I just met them.” he replied.  
  
    The three men sat down for coffee, and Dean found that his initial nervousness over setting down with two actual gay men died away when he realized they were just two regular guys - who happened to not be attracted to women. Jeff worked in digital graphic design for a big advertising agency and Mark was a personal trainer at a local gym. They laughed when Dean broke the news that Cas was a stay-at-home father as opposed to a school teacher, but they were intrigued that he and Sam were actually agents.  
  
    After half an hour, Dean got around to asking for the ladder that he had come over for. They were happy to help out, and Dean offered to invite them for dinner as a thank you. He returned home just as Cas had woken up. He leaned against the bathroom sink and told Cas about his meeting with the neighbors as the Angel showered. Cas emerged from the steam, eyes narrowed as he wrapped a towel around his waist.  
  
    “What’s 'sex hair'?” he asked. Dean chuckled, leaning over and shook a towel through his wet hair.  
  
    “The way your hair looks after sex,” he explained. “tousled and ravaged.”  
  
    Cas’s brows knitted together.  
  
    “Does my hair always look messy?” he asked, turning to the mirror.  
  
    “No baby. It’s a good thing,” he assured him. “Your hair is sexy.”  
  
    Cas dressed and gathered the baby to feed her lunch, sitting on a blanket in the front yard as he watched Dean hang the christmas lights. After Mary had finished her bottle, Cas set her in his lap as he took a few pictures of Dean’s progress for Sam. After an hour of struggling and the occasional swear, Dean climbed off of the ladder and went inside to turn on the lights before  he moved to stand beside his husband.  
  
    “Whaddaya think?” he asked, looking at the neat row of multicolor bulbs strung across the guttering.  
  
    “I think it’s beautiful.” Castiel replied, smiling up at him. Dean grinned, reaching down to run a hand affectionately over Cas’s hair. In that moment, he was struck with a sudden rush of emotion and he felt his chest tighten and his throat constrict, and he turned his eyes to look back up at the Christmas lights strung up on his home. Castiel stood, holding Mary against one shoulder and taking hold of Dean’s hand.  
  
    “Dean?” he asked, concerned. Dean sniffed, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand and giving a self-conscious laugh.  
  
    “I’m fine, Cas, really.... it’s just...” he gave another huff of laughter, squeezing Cas’s hand. “This is a happy reaction, really. I just... I just can’t believe how good things are right now.” he brought his hand’s to Cas’s face, kissing him deeply. Castiel smiled, moving off of the blanket so Dean could collect if from the grass. He took it from the hunter’s hands, and Dean put away the rest of the decoration items and returned the ladder.  
  
    Dean and Cas started supper around five, working happily and quietly in tandem in the kitchen while Mary watched them from her swing. At half past, their guests arrived, presenting a bottle of wine and basket of candles and other tiny housewarming odds and ends. Dean blushed, thanking them for their kindness and ushering them inside. He proudly introduced Castiel, putting an arm around the Angel as he made the introductions. Both Mark and Jeff were taken by Mary, but neither made any inquiries as to her exact parentage. Dean was grateful.  
  
    They opened the wine early, sharing a glass before dinner was served. Dean was surprised at how easily he could converse with the other couple. Mark was a fan of classic rock and old school movies, and Jeff and Castiel talked about art. It was a successful, comfortable evening and when Dean and Cas showed their guests to the door at half past seven, they all agreed it was definitely something they’d like to do again.  
  
    Dean shut the door, turning to the Angel.  
  
    “We just had a dinner party,” he said with a grin. “I feel like a proper adult.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, letting the hunter pull him in for a deep kiss. Dean’s good mood appeared to be making him quite affectionate; the three glasses of wine didn’t seem to hurt either.  
  
    The couple cleaned up the kitchen together and Cas bathed the baby while Dean talked to Sam on the phone. He hadn’t hung up but a few moments when the phone rang again and was Jimmy this time. Castiel was content to cradle his daughter in his arms, leaning into Dean’s embrace as they sat on the sofa with the television on mute so Dean could carry on a conversation.  
  
    Castiel’s ears were still sensitive enough to pick up both sides of the call. Jimmy was telling Dean about how much he loathed his job, but how happy he and Amelia were with the pregnancy, and how the doctors told them things looks really good. Dean gave the other man plenty of positive reinforcement, but Cas enjoyed the way he was running his hand up and down his arm as he spoke, and would nuzzle the top of his hair whenever Jimmy was the one adding to the conversation.  
  
    After the call with Jimmy, they sat together watching the nightly news before taking the baby up to bed at nine. Once Mary was sleeping soundly in her crib and her door pulled mostly closed, Cas and Dean moved across the hall to their own room. They hadn’t even hit the threshold when Dean pulled the Angel into his arms and kissed him deeply. Castiel was surprised, but recovered quickly, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck as the hunter lead him back toward the bed. Although passionate, their movements were unhurried as they undressed each other. Their love making was the antithesis of their encounter in the afternoon; slow, deliberate, with lots of soulful kisses and eye contact. It was Dean who teared up afterward this time, but Castiel didn’t mention the show of emotion. He simply let the hunter hold him and kiss him softly until they were both asleep. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What constitutes ‘romantic music’ anyway?” Dean asked, resuming his prior pace through the mall. Sam fell into step beside him. “Cas seems to have horrible taste in music. You know, we were driving to the store the other day, and I turned on the radio - and before I could change the station, he asked me to leave it on.” Dean made a disgusted sort of grunt. “It was the Bangles. The Bangles, Sammy.”  
> Sam laughed out loud, his shoulders shaking in amusement.  
> “Didn’t you tell him about the driver/shotgun rule?” he asked with a smile. Dean pushed his hands down into his pockets, turning to look at the shops they passed. Sam gave a grunt of surprise. “You let him choose the music?” he exclaimed. “Oh my god, you are a changed man, my brother.”  
> “Shut up,” Dean grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so after I moved some stuff around, this chapter is not as long as it was originally. Oddly enough, there is no smut in this chapter! I know, I'm shocked too. I hope it's still good though. It's one of my favorites. :) I hope you enjoy it! I might post another chapter later today. 
> 
> Until posting this chapter, I didn't know that 'popsicle' was a brand name. I thought it was just a thing. *shrugs*

    Cas didn’t run the next morning either. He stayed wrapped in Dean’s embrace, sharing soft kisses and gentle touches until the baby monitor lit up with sad fussing from across the hall. And they started their day, Dean showering first while Cas started coffee and fed the baby, and then handing off for Dean to make breakfast and entertain the baby while Cas showered and dressed.  
  
    Sam and Jessica returned in the afternoon, and the group spent a leisurely lunch catching up on what occurred while they were away. Sam was beyond excited about the Christmas lights and the other small decorations that Cas and Dean had purchased, and he chatted happily about what kind of tree they should get. It was decided, of course, that only a real pine would do.  
  
    Sam and Dean returned to work Monday morning, Jessica and Castiel returned to their companionable routine, and time seemed to hurry through the month. Since the Winchester brothers had a busy schedule, they took the opportunity one evening after leaving work to stop and finish their Christmas shopping. Dean had a grin on his face at the buoyant energy emanating from his brother and his excitement over a proper holiday. He had a hard time keeping the grin, however, in the large bustling crowd in the mall where they were.  
  
    “Don’t be stressed, Dean,” Sam said, noticing his brother’s grimace as the older man looked around with distaste. “He’s going to love anything you get him.”  
  
    “Well so far I’ve gotten him a sweater,” Dean grumbled. He sighed then, putting his hands on his hips and looking around. “A freaking sweater.”  
  
    Sam gave his brother a thump on the back, before moving past him toward a display of books.  
  
    “How about a cookbook?” he suggested. “He’s pretty good at following a recipe. That gift for him will sort of be a gift for you too, of course.” Dean rolled his eyes.  
  
    “Romantic,” he said dryly. Sam laughed.  
  
    “Are you looking for romantic?” he asked with a grin. “You can get him fancy chocolate or movies to watch together or music or something.”  
  
    Dean ignored the jab, looking at the cookbook display that Sam was now inspecting.  
  
    “I just want it to be something he’ll like.”  
  
    “Well, like I said,” Sam spoke. “He’ll be happy with whatever you get him. Did you ask him what he’d like?”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean sighed, walking along beside his brother as they moved on to the next store. “He said whatever I get him he’ll be happy with...” he slowed down as they passed a window full of infant items and tiny winter clothes. He and Cas had already finished buying Mary her gifts, not that they purchased many things for the five month old, and the Angel had watched him with delighted curiosity as he wrapped the items in red and green paper.  
  
    Sam stopped, looking in at the baby clothes and other nursery supplies before turning to his brother. Dean had an odd, pensive expression on his face as his eyes roamed the children’s store window. Sam was about to comment when the older man spoke.  
  
    “What constitutes ‘romantic music’ anyway?” he asked, resuming his prior pace. Sam fell into step beside him. “Cas seems to have horrible taste in music. You know, we were driving to the store the other day, and I turned on the radio - and before I could change the station, he asked me to leave it on.” Dean made a disgusted sort of grunt. “It was the Bangles. The _Bangles_ , Sammy.”  
  
    Sam laughed out loud, his shoulders shaking in amusement.  
  
    “Didn’t you tell him about the driver/shotgun rule?” he asked with a smile. Dean pushed his hands down into his pockets, turning to look at the shops they passed. Sam gave a grunt of surprise. “You let him _choose the music_?” he exclaimed. “Oh my god, you are a changed man, my brother.”  
  
    “Shut up,” Dean grumbled.  
  
    Sam continued to chuckle, excitedly asking his next question.    
  
    “Oh god, please tell me it was ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’.”  
  
    The question made Dean grin, and he rolled his eyes but did not answer. There was so much that he wanted to give Cas, but there was oddly still much they didn’t know about each other, and he was beginning to wonder if any amount of time would help him figure out what to buy a fallen Angel for Christmas. He just wanted Cas happy.  
  
    The two brothers continued on into a large electronics store and Sam went directly to the laptop section. Weeks of research had prepared him for exactly what he wanted to get for Jessica. Dean followed forlornly along behind him, casually looking over the other electronic devices. Above a counter full of locked down tablet computers, a flat screen TV was playing a demo of all the features. Dean wedged his way through the crowd, stopping when he was within a close enough distance to hear.  
  
    The video demonstration detailed several dozen features that he was sure Cas wouldn’t need, or even figure out how to use, but it had everything that Sam had mentioned would be good gifts: movies, music, and books all rolled into one thing. The feature he was most interested in though was the video chatting application. Sure, Cas’s phone already did that, but the screen was just so tiny.  
  
    Dean watched the demo through one more time, biting his lip as he considered it. Maybe if he filled it with a variety of media that he thought Cas may enjoy, that would personalize it enough to be a good gift.  
  
    “You can add a ‘Ladies of the 80’s’ playlist.”  
  
    Dean turned to look up at his brother.  
  
    “You could shut your face,” he suggested. Sam laughed, unphased by the comment. He held up his shopping bag.  
  
    “I’m good here. Did you want to keep looking?”  
  
    Dean rubbed the back of his neck, looking back to the row of tablets. He didn’t think metal and wires and microchips when he thought of Cas, he thought of sky and clouds and a gentle breeze against his skin...and several dozen pornographic things as well.    
  
    “What do you know about these, Sam?” Dean asked, nodding toward the tablets. “Is this a good brand?”  
  
    Sam smiled broadly, and he walked Dean through all of the important specifications. After a half an hour, Dean purchased the tablet and all the appropriate accessories. He felt good about the gift, but there was still a little twinge of needing something more.  
  
    “What all did you get Jess?” he asked his younger brother as they stepped back out into the mall. Sam squinted as he recalled.  
  
    “This laptop, a jewelry box, and a new pair of hiking boots.”  
  
    Dean nodded, agreeing that all of those things were good ideas that seemed to fit the blonde. He asked his next question with hesitance.  
  
    “Did you get something for Cas?”  
  
    “Of course we did!” Sam replied. “We got him a jogging stroller so we can take Mary with us when we run.”  
  
    “You got _you_ a jogging stroller,” Dean smirked, but that too was something he felt fit was a good, personalized gift. Sam only chuckled in reply. Dean signed. He was beginning to hate Christmas, and he was beginning to feel ill.    
  
    As they were heading for the exit, Dean’s attention was drawn to a small shop tucked between a dark, teenager’s clothing store and a cookie bakery. The shop windows were packed with humming bird mobiles, animal statues carved from dried, gnarled wood, and copper wind chimes. Something about the store had a ‘Cas’ sort of energy about it.  
  
    Sam followed along behind his brother as he veered into the small store. A hint of orange-vanilla incense washed over them, and a gentle melody of wind instruments was just audible over the hum of the crowd of shoppers. Dean’s brow was furrowed as he scanned the merchandise, waiting for something to speak to him. He stopped in front of a book display, picking up one of the large, glossy tomes. Sam peered over his shoulder.  
  
    “Cas would love that,” he said, nudging his older brother.  
  
    Dean nodded, opening the book and flipping through the colorful pages. It was full of instructions and tips on how to create perfect backyard flower and plant gardens. The idea of Castiel planting flowers and nurturing them into bloom resonated with Dean as something so very ‘Cas’. Something serene and beautiful, just like the Angel himself. It was perfect, and it put a smile back on the hunter’s face. He was beginning to feel he may be ready for this holiday.  
  
    Two weeks before Christmas, Castiel developed a persistent cough, that one night coupled with a fever of one hundred and two, forced Dean to take him to the ER at eight o’clock on a Friday night. They returned home by midnight, and both Jess and Sam were waiting up.  
  
    “It’s just a respiratory infection,” Dean explained wearily as he helped Cas into the house. “They gave him some inhaler thing and some cough medicine, and now he’s just sort of...”  
  
    Sam jumped up from his seat, rushing to Cas’s other side and helping to steady him.  
  
    “Hello Sam,” Castiel mumbled, raising tired eyes to the younger man. “I can’t cure this. I’m so human.”  
  
    “It’s alright baby,” Dean interrupted. “Let’s get you into bed, alright?”  
  
    “You’re going to be fine, Cas,” Sam added, taking the bag from Dean’s hand and holding it out for Jess. “This will go away in no time.”  
  
    “That’s what you said last time,” Cas replied glumly, “And you were wrong. It lasted days...”  
  
    Sam grimaced at his brother and they took Cas upstairs to the bedroom. After helping him set on the bed, Sam stood back helplessly as his brother removed the Angel’s shoes and socks.  
  
    “Sam,” he spoke, not turning to his brother as he stood and pulled Cas’s sweatshirt over his head. “Grab me a warm washcloth and a towel, would ya?”  
  
    Sam hurried to the bathroom, getting the items his brother requested and returning to his side. Castiel sat miserably, submitting to Dean as the hunter ran the washcloth over his face, neck, and chest. Sam turned away, getting a t-shirt from the dresser before Dean asked for it.  
  
    “Alright buddy,” Dean announced, once he put the t-shirt on his husband. “Let’s get you out of those pants and into bed, hm? You’ll feel better in the morning.”  
  
    “I doubt it,” Castiel replied, but obediently rose and let the hunter help him from his jeans and into the bed. Sam gave a small smile as he watched his brother pull the comforter over the Angel, leaning down to kiss his face and whisper quietly to him. He turned when Dean approached and the two went downstairs where Jess was sitting on the side of the sofa, looking concerned.  
  
    “How is he?” she asked, curling her legs up under herself as they past. Dean collapsed onto the sofa, running a hand over his face.  
  
    “Aside from being a big baby, I think he’ll be fine. The doctors said he’d be fine anyway. It just... “ he sighed, shaking his head.  
  
    “I’ll get you something to drink,” Sam offered, going into the kitchen and returning with a tumbler of scotch.  
  
    “Thanks,” Dean said wearily, taking a drink and hissing as it burned its way down his throat. Jessica reached over and patted his leg.  
  
    “Well,” she told him. “The good news is that the antibiotic they prescribed is mild, so they must not think it’s too bad. And the cough syrup has enough codeine in it to keep him sedate and loopy until he get’s better.”  
  
    Dean gave a weak smile, but his jaw was tight. Jessica moved from her seat to sit at his side, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him in. Dean smiled again, gratefully, giving her a pat on the leg.  
  
    “I’m alright, Jess,” he told her in an assured tone, giving a nod of his head. Jessica leaned her head on his shoulder.  
  
    “No one is okay when their baby is sick,” she stated. “I can tell by the look in your eyes it bothers you. You Winchesters may like to keep those feelings all bottled up, but that’s okay. I can have feelings enough for all three of you.” she grinned widely at Sam, giving Dean one more hug before setting back. “I hate to make it worse for you though,” she continued. “But, you probably shouldn’t... sleep in the same bed until he’s been on the antibiotics for a while. He may be contagious.” Dean opened his mouth to protest, but Jessica spoke over him. “You can’t both be sick at the same time. Mary will be inconsolable if she can’t have either of her daddies. She loves Sam, but she will not be happy without daddy.”  
  
    Jessica was right. Even though Dean slept on the sofa that night, Mary was heartbroken to not have Castiel the next morning. He couldn’t imagine the tantrum she’d have had if she didn’t have Dean as well. Castiel wasn’t happy either, having to sleep alone, but he knew it was for Dean’s health so he grudgingly kept quiet. He didn’t have the energy to put up a fight one way or the other. He was exhausted, and tried to sleep when he wasn’t exhibiting a series of rib rattling coughing fits. His breathing was labored, and the pallor of his skin only made the redness in his eyes that more alarming.  
  
    Late Saturday morning, Dean and Jessica made a shopping trip to the drug store to purchase kleenex and vaporub and a humidifier. They stopped off at the grocery store as well, and Dean purchased several different types of popsicles and items to make homemade soup.  
  
    Castiel smiled weakly at the attention, sipping as much broth as he could stomach before pleading with Dean to let him sleep instead. Dean compromised with him and got him into a bath, and after he was dried and dressed, got him to eat a cup of jell-o before laying down. There was something about Cas under the effects of codeine that Dean didn’t like, and he felt antsy every time he lifted the spoon to his husband’s lips. But as much as he hated the hooded, vacant look in the Angel’s eyes, he hated the wet, suffocating way Cas would gasp for breath after a particularly bad coughing fit even more.  
  
    After a long Saturday, Dean considered ten p.m. to be a safe time to be in close contact with Cas, as the hospital had pumped him full of antibiotics the night before. He sat beside the Angel as he slept, running a cool washcloth over his already sweat-dampened hair. Sam begged him quietly from the door to come downstairs and sleep on the couch.  
  
    “Go Dean,” Castiel murmured roughly, weakly pushing the hunter from the bed. “I don't... want you to get this.”  
  
    Dean agreed reluctantly, and spent a restless night on the sofa, listening to Cas’s fitful coughing spells. At two in the morning, he pushed off his blanket and crept up the stairs to slide into bed beside the Angel.  
  
    “Dean?”  
  
    “Shh,” Dean soothed, propping his pillows against he headboard and set back against them. “It’s alright babe. I’m fine. I... I need to be here with you.”  
  
    He could tell by the way Cas curled up against him, resting his head in Dean’s lap, that he didn’t really want him to go away. Dean ran a hand through his hair, sliding his other hand down between the Angel’s shoulder blades and gently patting his back, trying to break up the congestion in his lungs. Castiel groaned, coughing wetly before sighing and relaxing against Dean’s thigh.  
  
    It took half an hour before Cas fell into an uneasy sleep. Dean alternated between gently patting and rubbing his husband’s back, trying to soothe his poor lungs. Every breathe Cas took came out as a wheezing groan, and Dean closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard. If Cas wasn’t better in the morning, he was taking him back to the ER and demanding  that they do something. But a part of him didn’t blame the doctors, he blamed himself. Cas fell for him. Cas was punished by heaven for him. He just wished he could take this from him. Take any pain from him.  
  
    “Sorry I didn’t knock,”  
  
    Dean startled, but maintained enough control to not wake the Angel leaning against him. He scowled at the new arrival standing at the end of his bed.  
  
    “What do you want?” he hissed, moving a hand to cover Castiel’s exposed ear. Gabriel smirked, resting his hands on his hips.  
  
    “Your normal answering service now services you in other ways,” he replied, snarkily. Dean scowled, growling back at the archangel.  
  
    “ _What_?”  
  
    Gabriel rolled his eyes.  
  
    “Cassy doesn’t answer your prayers any more, Dean-o. _Someone_ upstairs has to weed through your static.”  
  
    Dean’s scowl faltered and he could only repeat himself.  
  
    “... what?”  
  
    Gabriel’s sigh was dramatic.  
  
    “Whether you realized it or not kid, you were praying just now.” he replied. “Praying to take on Castiel’s pain. Praying to take on his hurt. Praying for him to get better - it was rather cute.” the archangel rolled his eyes. “Disgustingly cute, actually.”  
  
    Dean’s scowl returned.  
  
    “You come down here to mock me, you dick?” he demanded in a harsh whisper. Gabriel’s eyebrows raised and he appeared as if he wanted to make a witty retort, but his eyes settled on the young Angel who was suddenly coughing. “Shh, shh, shh,” Dean soothed him, patting his back again as Cas struggled to sit up and breathe. Dean slapped his back with a little more force and Cas coughed hard. Thankfully, it was productive and Dean handed him a tissue to spit the offending phlegm into before he collapsed back against the hunter’s legs. Dean tossed the tissue into the trash, turning his eyes back to the visitor. He was surprised at the look of abject pain on the archangel’s face. Dean grimaced, running a hand over Cas’s back. “He’s on medicine...” he said lamely. “... he’ll get better...”  
  
    Gabriel shook his head, moving to set gently on Castiel’s side of the bed.  
  
    “... you can’t see it,” he spoke, and his voice was low, but not as though he were trying to whisper. “... his grace... his true form, compressed within this vessel... you’re not the only big brother who spent a lifetime watching after younger siblings, you know...”  
  
    Dean frowned.  
  
    “You’re not the only one who loves him.”  
  
    Gabriel looked up at him. He appeared taken aback by Dean’s candor. The look changed to a smirk that stated he was impressed.  
  
    “Touche.” he replied. “I’m not. You have, apparently, taken first place in that.” he rose from the bed. “I’m not going to say I don’t understand my brother’s little preoccupation with a human - I mean, I’d be a hypocrite many times over. However, we were kind of hoping that when he got serious, he’d at least chose another immortal.” he sighed, but wagged his brows at Dean. “But, you make him happy Winchester. I can’t fault you that. For a human, you’ve defied heaven and earth - hell, you’ve defied biology - to make my little brother happy. So what can I do, huh?”  
  
    Dean watched him lean over, gently touching his fingertips to Castiel’s forehead. He didn’t imagine the way Gabriel’s hand gently smoothed over his little brother’s cheek as he pulled away; it was the same way Dean had touched Sam. Almost instantly Dean could feel the rattling in Cas’s chest subside and his breathing became calm and even. He felt a surge of gratitude, and he didn’t feel the need to conceal it.  
  
    “Thank you,” he spoke quietly, brushing the hair back off of Cas’s forehead and looking down into the Angel’s face. “Really... I... You didn’t have to, but, I’m glad you did.”  
  
    “Cas will probably be mad,” Gabriel sighed, folding his arms over his chest. “That I took away the human experience. He’ll probably say that I should have let him get through it on his own, but, oh well.” he shrugged, dropping his hands to his sides. “He’ll have plenty of time for the fun of human germs and filth.”  
  
    Castiel stirred, stretching his arms out in front of him and curling into Dean’s warmth. His eyes blinked at the first awareness that he no longer felt hot, clammy, or miserable. He sat up.  
  
    “What?” he spoke, confused, as he looked between his brother and his husband. His eyes narrowed suspiciously, as if his brain couldn’t fathom what would be transpiring between the two of them. “What is going on?”  
  
    “ _You’re welcome_ ,” Gabriel said with dramatic exasperation. “I came all this way to answer your little hubby’s prayers, and that constipated look is the thanks I get? I’m brother of year, you know!”  
  
    Cas’s brow furrowed and he squinted.  
  
    “My grace has not yet failed to the point where I cannot burn superfluous matter and am forced to eliminate it,” he replied. “It’s not that I... need to and... can’t...” Gabriel chuckled, but Castiel ignored him in favor of turning to Dean. “You were praying for me?”  
  
    Dean cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably.  
  
    “I wasn’t aware I was, I was just... wanting you to be well, Cas.”  
  
    “Dean,” Castiel began, and it did appear he was going to admonish him for taking the easy way out. But instead, he brought a hand to the hunter’s face. “I have every bit of faith in your ability to care for me. I would have been fine, but... you prayed for me... _you_.”  
      
    Dean could feel himself blushing, but he didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to tell the Angel that of course he prayed for him - he’d do anything for him. He was saved from speaking when Gabriel interrupted.  
  
    “Before we all tear up,” he smirked, “there is, ah, something else I should mention before I go. The other reason I came, actually.”  
  
    Cas and Dean both looked up at him, and there was something serious in the archangel’s normally mischievous expression. Castiel turned further toward him.  
  
    “Brother,” he entreated. “Please, what’s wrong?”  
  
    Gabriel sighed.  
  
    “Heaven still has it’s eye on you Cas,” he admitted, setting down on the corner of the bed. “And by heaven, I mean Raph and Naomi.”  
  
    Dean swore under his breath, but Castiel reached back to place a hand on his thigh.  
  
    “What do you mean?” he asked.  
  
    Gabriel sighed, crossing his arms.  
  
    “They weren’t just going to let you run off to live happily ever after. It’s not in Naomi’s programming to let an angel go rogue, least of all one of the most celebrated commanders.”  
  
    “Has my service earned me nothing?” Castiel asked, forlornly. Dean scowled.  
  
    “Not for a bunch of self-righteous assholes,” he spat. Gabriel shrugged, but didn’t look like he disagreed.  
  
    “What do they want with me?” Castiel asked.  
  
    “Assimilation,” Gabe replied plainly. “Get you back into the fold.”  
  
    Dean tensed, his jaw tightening in irritation.  
  
    “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Dean-y boy,” Gabriel remarked, “You two have bigger fish to fry. I’ve got my little bro’s back. The last couple weeks, Balthazar and I have been causing a little bit of a distraction, trying to divert the attention to where it belongs - in heaven, not here with you.”  
  
    “Thank you,” Castiel spoke sincerely. Dean’s first instinct was not to thank him.  
  
    “What do you mean you’ve been raising hell the last few weeks?” he asked. “What changed in heaven?”  
  
    Gabriel sighed, smirking slightly.  
  
    “Nothing has changed in heaven,” he replied. “But, something changed that... that I was afraid would draw heaven’s attention.” he turned to Castiel. “Cassy, Cassy, Cassy,” he sighed, but was smiling in spite of himself. “I thought we put a sigil on that hyper-active amygdala.” he said, poking Cas in the middle of the forehead.  
  
    Castiel’s brow furrowed, not only from the touch but from the words. A sigil on his amygdala?  
  
    “Oh my god,” Dean gasped. “Gabriel, are you saying-”  
  
    “Yep,” the archangel laughed, rising from his seat. “You’re one fertile s.o.b. Winchester, you know?” he laughed out loud, seeing the reality dawning in Castiel’s brilliant blue eyes. “You two ruminate on that and I’ll be across the hall.”  
  
    Cas turned his wide eyes to Dean, and it was only a split second before he tumbled into the hunter’s arms.  
  
    “We’re going to have another baby,” he whispered against Dean’s ear, holding tight to him. Dean laughed, his breath catching with his heightened emotion.  
  
    “I know,” he murmured, pulling the Angel in tightly. “Oh baby...”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After spending several moments quietly celebrating with close hugs, and soft kisses, Dean and Cas left their room and joined Gabriel across the hall in the nursery. The archangel was looking wistfully down into the crib at the beautiful sleeping baby.  
  
    “I hope you know what you’re doing, Cas,” he spoke, turning to his brother.  
  
    “I do,” Cas answered, nodding with assurance. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my existence. Even if I had spent weeks languishing in illness. But, I appreciate your kindness.”  
  
    Gabriel smirked, shrugging.  
  
    “What are big brothers for, huh?” he smirked.  
  
    Dean cleared his throat nervously, rubbing the back of his neck as he addressed the archangel.  
  
    “Yeah, thanks for helping Cas and... our family,” he spoke. Gabriel gave an expression of amused surprise by Dean’s words.  Dean tried not to grimace. “For being on our side. And... and for letting us know about... about the baby.”  
  
    “Not a problem,” Gabriel shrugged. “I was going to have to come give you the heads up when the little bundle popped out, anyway.”  
  
    Dean’s expression of gratitude slipped away and he scowled.  
  
    “Why the hell didn’t you show up when Mary was born? I could have used a hand with knowing what was bursting out of my head.” he spoke harshly, but still quietly enough to not disturb his daughter. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. Dean’s voice softened again when he realized he would need the celestial being’s help. He cleared his throat, glancing to Castiel and back. “When...” he began calmly. “When am I... due?... Do you know?”  
  
    Gabriel gave a snort of laughter.  
  
    “Nephilim come in many different types,” he told them. “Mary was born from a very, very old, very spiritual type of creation,” he told them. Dean glanced back to Cas, watching the Angel’s eyes narrow as he listened. “Mary is the union of the human ‘grace’ and an angel’s grace. She gestated in your thoughts and desires. She was formed from your dreams and wishes. It’s powerful, and it can’t be stopped. It can’t be detected.”  
  
    Dean frowned.  
  
    “That doesn’t answer my question,” he stated. Gabriel rolled his eyes, turning to look at Cas.  
  
    “This new baby is a different sort of creation,” he said. “It is the very powerful combination of the _essence_ of a human, growing within the grace of an angel.” he pointed to his brother. “ _This_ Angel.”  
  
    Dean turned sharply back to Cas, whose mouth was hanging open.  
  
    “Cas?” Dean breathed, reaching out and touching the Angel’s arm. “Cas...”  
  
    “Bingo,” Gabriel smirked. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he thought it was adorable the way the two men were looking at each other in awe. “I mean, he’s been practically begging for it for months, so...” he shrugged. “The bad thing is, with a nephilim knocking around in his noggin, he’ll be broadcasting his good fortune across angel radio.”  
  
    Castiel’s look of happiness faded quickly.  
  
    “How can I... protect us?” he asked, a hand nervously brushing the side of his hair. Dean reached out and took his arm.  
  
    “What can we do?” Dean stated, his gesture stressing that they were in this together. Gabe took a deep breath.  
  
    “Well, you can have an archangel in your corner, for one,” he replied. “But there is really only one way to keep this kiddy off the radio bands. I can shift the energy from your consciousness deeper into your vessel so that it can’t tap into your link to the clouds”  
  
    “Will that hurt the baby?” Castiel asked immediately. “I can’t risk that. I’ll refuse. I'll think of some other way to protect us! I think of some other way-”  
  
    Both Gabriel and Dean raised hands of calm when they noticed the bright glow of blue brightening the Angel’s eyes, but it was Mary’s soft mewl that brought him back to the moment.  
  
    “I won’t let that happen, Cassy,” Gabriel insisted. “I’m going to protect you. I’m going to protect you and your children, if it’s the last thing I do.” he took hold of his younger brother’s shoulders, looking up into his face. “Your the Angel dad wanted us to be. You’ve always cared for and found beauty and wonder in these humans - there is no shame that you’re found love here too.”  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath, looking over at Dean. The last of the tension in his jaw disappeared, and he nodded.  
  
    “So... it will be safe?” he asked, turning back to Gabriel. The older man nodded.  
  
    “You have my word.”  
  
    Castiel gave a soft exhale.  
  
    “Thank you,” he spoke, quietly.  
  
    “You ready?” Gabriel asked. Castiel took a deep breath, and nodded.  
  
    Dean watched nervously as Gabriel brought one hand to his brother’s forehead and rested the other on his abdomen. There was a soft glow of light from both of his palms, and when the glow faded, Castiel brought a hand to his stomach.  
  
    “... I can’t... I can’t feel anything...” he spoke quietly. Gabriel patted him on the shoulder.  
  
    “It’s good. It’s fine,” he smiled. “It’s due in July,” he turned to Dean, giving a shrug. “Maybe early August.”  
  
    “So long?” Dean frowned, confused. “Mary was like... five months, _tops_.”  
  
    Gabriel shook his head, rolling his eyes.  
  
    “You think the littlest Winchester there is the only thing that makes babies?” he asked with a laugh, gesturing to the hunter’s groin. “Not in the celestial realm, my friend.”  
  
    Dean blushed, grimacing as he responded.  
  
    “Wh-what do you mean by that?” he asked. Gabriel chuckled.  
  
    “Didn’t I just tell you how this darling little hummingbird here,” he indicated the crib behind him. “was conceived by a powerful, old creation. Out of nothing but _pure intention_.” he smiled broadly. “That means, you possibly didn’t even _touch_ my brother when you looked upon him and wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with him, to make a family with him.”  
  
    Dean blushed harder when he turned to Cas, who was smiling happily back at him. The younger Angel crossed to his husband and hugged him, tucking his face down against Dean’s throat as he held on to him.  
  
    “Love you, baby,” Dean murmured.  
  
    “Alright, alright,” Gabriel spoke, pulling the Winchesters away from each other. “Let me give you a little warning before I run.” he noticed their nervous expressions and spoke quickly with a hand up to ward off their concern. “Nothing horrible. Well, not _too_ horrible.”  
  
    “ _Now_ a warning? Spill it,” Dean frowned, unconsciously sliding his hand down Cas’s arm and taking his hand.  
  
    Gabriel tried not to sigh.  
  
    “Just remember that this is for the good of the family,” he told them, earning a return of their concerned faces. “But, you’ll be fine, Cas. You’ll be fine. When a child has the limitless expanse of your mind in which to grow, like Mary did, you won’t even notice that there is an impending delivery. But when the energy is within the vessel, sharing space with your own grace, there is less room for expansion. You may notice a little bit of change as you get closer to the, for lack of a better word, birth.”  
  
    Castiel seemed accepting of this information, but Dean’s eye’s widened and he turned his head as if trying to hear from a different angle.  
  
    “Cas is going to get... pregnant looking?” he asked. Gabriel shrugged.  
  
    “A little, I’m sure,” he replied. “No biggie. If it gets too obvious, you can keep him at home.” Castiel shook his head as if unconcerned with this news, stepping forward when Gabriel held out his arms. The archangel embraced him. “You’ve got people in your corner, Castiel,” he whispered.  
  
    “Thank you,” Castiel replied, squeezing his brother’s arms as he pulled away. “Thank you so much. For everything. Would you come back in the morning? To see the baby when she’s awake?”  
  
    Gabriel looked close to refusing, but he smiled.  
      
    “Of course. But I expect breakfast _and_ coffee.”  
  
    “I’ll make it for you,” Cas told him happily. Gabriel gave a small smile, but Dean saw how it was vaguely sad when Cas turned away from the other angel. In a flash, Gabriel was gone. “Dean,” Cas spoke warmly, walking back toward the hunter and into his arms.  
      
    “I know,” Dean murmured, holding the Angel tightly. “Are you happy? Because I’m happy.”  
  
    “I’m so happy,” Castiel replied. He pulled back then, a curious look of concern on his face. “Will you be uncomfortable if my vessel is affected by the growth of our child?” he asked. Dean flushed and stammered.  
  
    “No!” he insisted, pulling Cas back into his embrace. “No. Of course not.” The truth was, of course, that he had finally become so used to and attracted to the athletic, muscular body that was Cas’s current form. But, the thought of seeing the Angel’s belly swell with the growing weight of his child lit something primal in him. “Let’s get back in bed, hm? There’s still plenty of night left, and you need some sleep.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    When his alarm went off at five thirty, Sam wasn’t in the mood to take a morning run by himself. It was especially tempting to stay in bed now that he didn’t fear snuggling up to the warm, curvy blonde at his side. She returned his early morning affection, but the needs of her bladder got more of her attention. When she returned, she hopped back onto the bed, leaning over to kiss her boyfriend.  
  
    “I’m going to check on the sicky,” she told him. Sam smiled, watching her slip from the room. He sighed, stretching his arms above his head as he pulled himself from the bed. He hoped Cas was feeling better. It was a twofold tragedy to have a sick Angel - it was hard to see Cas have to deal with such a debilitating human illness, and it pained him to see his brother so helpless to help the man he loved.  
  
    Sam came out of the bathroom, surprised to see Jessica slipping back into the room. She had a wide grimace on her face, as she padded across the floor and over to him.  
  
    “What’s the matter?” he asked, placing his hands on her shoulders as she stopped in front of him. She looked up at him.  
  
    “You need to go check on Cas,” she told him. Sam’s brow furrowed and he frowned.  
      
    “Is he okay? Where’s Dean?” Jessica was quiet a moment, continuing to give him the strained grimace. Sam’s eyebrows raised. “Is Dean okay?”  
      
    “I think so,” she spoke hesitantly. “I think... _I think they’re having sex_...”  
  
    Sam’s eyes grew wide.  
  
    “What?!” he asked. “Dean and Cas?” he asked, as if there were another option. “Cas is sick! I mean... _sick_ -sick! What is Dean...” he shook his head. “Are you sure? What makes you think they’re... you know...”  
  
    Jessica took a breath, blowing the hair out of her face.  
  
    “Well, Dean isn’t on the couch,” she began, “And when I went upstairs to check on Cas, the door was mostly closed, but... I mean... I could...” she shrugged, her grimace returning. “I could hear Cas... moaning and ... Dean...”  
  
    Sam shook his head, as if he didn’t want to imagine that sound in his head. He rubbed the back of his head, his brain both blank and running.    
  
    “Maybe Cas is... moaning... because he doesn’t feel well...” even as he said it, he didn’t think it was true. Jessica shrugged.  
  
    “It sounded... intense...” she told him. Sam felt a stab of irritation strike him, and his stomach actually ached.    
  
    “What the hell is Dean thinking?” he muttered, moving past Jessica and out of the room. She followed behind, biting her lip and fidgeting with the edge of her shirt, but stopped at the bottom of the staircase and watched Sam go up.    
  
    Sam felt his stomach twist a bit as he walked up the stairs. Mary’s bedroom door was open, but as Jessica said, Dean and Cas’s door was just only slightly ajar. He took a deep breath, raising his knuckles. He knocked on the door frame, in case the motion caused the door to open any more than it already was.  
  
    “Dean?” he asked.  
  
    There was the sound of movement inside the room, and within a moment Dean opened the door. He was dressed in nothing but a pair of cotton sleep pants, and there was the tell-tale flush across his face and chest, the hair at his temples slightly damp. He looked up at Sam, concerned, and pulled the door closed behind him as he stepped out into the hall with him.  
  
    “Everything alright?” he asked. “What time is it?”  
  
    Sam stared at him in disbelief a moment, before speaking in a harsh whisper.  
  
    “What the hell is wrong with you Dean?” he asked, holding out his hands. “Cas is _sick_. He. Is. sick.” his face had an expression of disgusted incredulity. “Can’t you just... jack off or something? Have you forgotten how?”  
  
    Dean’s mouth fell open in surprise, and he was stunned into silence. For a moment, he wondered if he were dreaming.  
  
    “Dean?”  
  
    Both men turned toward the bedroom, where Cas stood in the doorway. Sam had to look him over twice, because the gaunt, feverish complexion he’d had for the past two days seemed to be replaced with a rosy, healthy glow. However, his hair was tousled in an obviously debauched sort of way. He too was only dressed in his pajama pants.  
  
    “Hey Cas,” Dean spoke lamely, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
    “Is everything alright, Sam?” Cas asked. “Are you and Jessica alright?”  
  
    Sam gave a nervous laugh, shaking his head.  
  
    “We were worried about you, Cas.” he told him. “How are you feeling?”  
  
    Castiel smiled warmly.  
  
    “I’m well, Sam,” he assured him. “My brother Gabriel visited and healed me of my illness. And...” he paused, looking up at Dean. He was uncertain if it was his place to share their good news just yet. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about when they would share the information with the rest of the family, since they had gotten sidetracked. But Dean was grinning at him, the same happy, loving smile he had on his face before they had given in to each other in favor of getting more sleep. He returned the smile; both men were oblivious to Sam watching them. The younger man cleared his throat.  
  
    “Hey Sam.” Dean spoke, turning to his brother. “Could you give us a bit to take showers and get dressed, and we’ll meet you down stairs?”  
  
    Sam nodded, watching them curiously as he backed away. They were kissing again before they were through the doorway.  
  
    “What’s going on?” Jessica whispered. Sam just shook his head.  
  
    “Well,” he sighed. “I’m pretty sure you were right,” he told her. Her mouth fell open and she looked as though she were about to make an indignant retort. “But Cas is fine. I mean, he’s not sick any more. One of his brothers came and healed him. But... I think something’s going on.”  
  
    “What do you mean?” Jessica asked. “Did this brother help Cas for an underhanded reason, you think?”  
  
    Sam shrugged.  
  
    “I’m not sure what’s going on. But, it doesn’t feel ominous. Dean said they’d be down in a minute.” Jessica stepped into Sam’s embrace. He hugged her tightly. “Let’s make some coffee,” he sighed.  
  
    They made a pot of coffee and were setting at the table having a cup together when Dean and Cas came downstairs. Jessica stood, moving to the Angel and raising a hand to his forehead.  
  
    “Well, you feel much better,” she observed, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him. “We were worried about you.”  
  
    “You are a truly kind soul, Jessica,” Castiel replied. “I’m honored that you were concerned for my well-being.”  
  
    “We’re family, Cas,” Sam told him. Cas nodded, his expression grateful.  
  
    “Thank you.”  
  
    “Well,” Dean announced, grabbing four orange juice glasses from the cupboard. He filled one with actual OJ, but the others he filled with wine from the half-bottle left in the fridge from earlier in the week. “It might be kind of early for this, but,” he handed a glass to both Jess and Sam. “We couldn’t think of a valid reason not to say anything,” he handed the juice to Cas, and he gave sort of a nervous laugh as he looked down at the cup in his hand. Sam watched him intently, his mouth going dry as he waited. Dean raised his eyes to Cas. “Cas and I are having another baby,” he said, a grin spreading across his face. Jessica gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth and Sam looked stunned. He turned to Castiel.  
  
    “How... how do you know?!” he demanded, excitedly. Cas blushed, but looked rather pleased himself.  
  
    “My brother told me. He said that I am due in late summer.”  
  
    “Oh my gosh!” Sam pulled the Angel into a hug before turning him loose and grabbing hold of Dean. “You’re so... so lucky! I’m so happy for you.”  
  
    Dean laughed, hugging his brother back before everyone clinked their glasses together and drank to the good news. Oblivious to the audience, Dean held out an arm to Cas, who stepped into his embrace. Dean kissed him warmly on the throat, pulling him tightly against him.  
  
    “I love you, Dean,” Castiel murmured against his ear, and Dean smiled broadly.  
  
    Sam smiled, watching the adorable exchange between his brother and Cas. He couldn’t express how much joy it gave him to see his brother so happy.  
  
    After drinking a toast together, Castiel set to making breakfast in anticipation of Gabriel’s arrival. Dean went upstairs and got the baby, feeding her a bottle as he waited for his own food, but he could hardly take his eyes off his husband. At half past six, Gabriel showed up as promised, and Castiel was proud and pleased to present him with a plate of golden, crispy French toast served with butter and a homemade fruit and maple syrup compote. Gabriel was impressed, and his brother’s joy was infectious. He spent the meal telling them humorous stories of helping to raise Castiel from a fledgling to a full-grown Angel.  
  
    After breakfast, Sam and Jess returned downstairs to get properly dressed and Gabriel sat on the sofa with Castiel, holding Mary and marveling at her. Dean stayed in the kitchen, cleaning up the breakfast dishes.  
  
    “She really is perfect, Cas,” Gabriel told him, brushing the soft, dark blonde hair off of her forehead. Mary cooed, reaching up to close her tiny fingers over his hand as he traced a fingertip over the freckles on her nose. Castiel smiled, watching them.  
  
    “I used to think heaven was perfect,” he spoke softly, reaching out to touch the baby as well. “But... this is perfect. Even when it is hard, it is worth it.”  
  
    “I’m glad you think so,” he leaned down, planting a kiss on Mary’s forehead. “Well, I should be getting back. Thank you for breakfast.” Castiel took the baby from him, rising as he did.  
  
    “I hope you know how much I appreciate all you’ve done for me,”  
  
    “Awe,” Gabriel scoffed, waving a hand. “Stop.” he reached out and affectionately touched the younger Angel’s cheek. “You just take care of yourself, Cassie. I’ll take care of upstairs.” he grinned at the younger man, giving a wag of his brows before he spoke. “Give me a call if you want to know the sex of the baby.”  
  
    Cas’s mouth opened in surprise, but he didn’t have a chance to vocalize anything before his brother disappeared. He tilted his head to the side, considering the question as he walked back into the kitchen.  
  
    “Dean?” he asked, watching his husband as he wiped down the counters.  
  
    “Hm?” Dean asked, raising a brow at Castiel’s pensive expression. “What’s the matter?”  
  
    “Nothing,” Cas assured him. “Do we want to know the gender of our next baby?”  
  
    Dean stared at him blankly a moment.  
  
    “Can... can you tell?”  
  
    “No,” Cas replied, shaking his head. “I can’t. But Gabriel indicated that he could, if we desired to know.”  
  
    Dean frowned, trying to decide what he thought about that. Did he want to know so far ahead if it was a little brother or a little sister that Mary would have next summer? If he and Cas should buy some little blue and green clothes since they wouldn’t be able to reuse the pink? Or if they needn’t buy anything new at all.  
  
    “I’m not sure babe,” he admitted, slipping his arms around the Angel and planting a soft kiss on Mary’s head. “What do you think?”  
  
    Castiel shrugged, giving a small smile.  
      
    “It... it doesn’t even feel real yet...” he said honestly.  
  
    “I know,” Dean admitted, rubbing his hands down the other man’s back. “But... our family is growing. Already... just like we wanted.”  
      
    Castiel smiled broadly, and it made Dean smile too. This was going to be the best Christmas ever.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who are these from?” Cas asked. Dean smiled as he got to his feet.  
>  “Santa Claus,” he replied. Cas didn’t look any less confused, but he took the gift and sat down beside Dean on the loveseat.  
>  Inside the shiny, metallic paper was a white box containing a navy blue knit cap and matching scarf, and a pair of black leather gloves. Castiel ran his hand over the soft knitted scarf, marveling over the thought of needing to be protected from the elements - but grateful that someone was concerned enough about him to consider it.  
>  “Nice,” Dean commented, taking the hat and pulling it down over Castiel’s wavy hair. “looks good.”  
>  Cas leaned over toward Dean, whispering to him.  
>  “Santa is your mother and Bobby... correct?” he asked. Dean only smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! :)

    Bobby and Mary arrived the Saturday before Christmas, and the family went to pick out a pine tree together and had a happy evening decorating it with lights and bulbs and silver tinsel. Dean and Sam only had Thursday and Friday off before the holiday, so Bobby and Mrs. Winchester kept Jessica and Cas company while they were away during the week.  
  
    Sam and Dean spent most of their workday on Wednesday finishing up paperwork that they had been tasked with sorting since they started the job - trying to pull out all of the supernatural cases from the regular, crazy human kind.  
  
    “Winchesters,” Agent Connor announced, coming to stand between their cubicles. “I got some Christmas gifts for you.”  
  
    He handed envelopes to both Sam and Dean.  
  
    “What’s this?” Sam asked, opening the envelope and pulling out the letter inside.  
  
    “Orders to training, I think,” Connor replied.  
  
    He was right. The letter inside gave the time, place, and instructions for reporting to the FBI training academy in Washington DC. They were both due to report right after the new year.  
  
    “Wow,” Dean breathed, rubbing the back of his neck as he read the details. “Six weeks...”  
  
    “It’ll be over before you know it,” Connor assured him. “It’s actually really fun. I mean, there is some studying and tests, but there is shooting and SWAT simulations, and plenty of partying.”  
  
    Sam gave a snort of laughter, but Dean only shook his head. His partying days were pretty much behind him. He wanted to be home with Cas and his baby. Six weeks away from them just seemed... like torture. And he knew Cas wouldn’t be happy about it.  
  
    As the closed up their computers and gathered their things, Sam spoke.  
  
    “So, you and Cas telling mom and Bobby tonight?”  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh.  
      
    “We were wanting to wait until Christmas,” he admitted. “When we were out finishing some shopping last week, we found this really nice picture frame for mom. It’s got these five places for pictures, right?” Sam nodded, sliding into the seat beside his brother and buckling his seat belt. “Well, we put some pictures of Mary and her, and her and us together in the frame because we were going to give it to her for Christmas, right?”  
  
    “Yeah,” Sam agreed. Dean gave this amused, shy grin.  
  
    “Well, Cas says ‘Do you think we should leave a space open, so she can put in a picture of the new baby?’, and I just thought... what a way to tell her, ya know? Leave one spot empty and when she asks say: that’s for the new baby...”  
  
    Sam chuckled, shaking his head and smiling broadly.  
  
    “That’s adorable.”  
  
    Dean blushed hotly, but was still grinning when he replied.  
  
    “Shut up.”  
  
    Once they got home, Dean went up to his room to change out of his FBI garb and into something to bum around the house in. As he pulled on a pair of worn, faded jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, he took out his phone and dialed. The answer came in three rings.  
  
    “Agent Winchester,”  
  
    “Mr. Novak,” Dean replied, hanging up his suit jacket and placing it in the closet. “Hows the family?”  
  
    “Great,” Jimmy replied. “We heard the heartbeat at the last appointment. It was just... I can’t even articulate.”  
  
    “I know the feeling,” Dean assured him. He pushed the pillows up onto the bed, setting back against them. “Amelia’s doing alright though?”  
  
    “Yeah,” Jimmy sighed, leaning back in his chair and staring at the drop tile ceiling. “She’s had a couple days of morning sickness, but nothing too bad. We decided to risk it and tell everyone right away. We’re keeping positive, of course,” he added quickly. “Claire is so excited. She says she wants a baby brother next.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, nodded as he twisted the corner of Castiel’s pillowcase absently.  
  
    “A little Novak to carry on the family name,” he said.  
  
    “Well, we’ll be happy with a girl.” Jimmy told him. “We’re just so grateful. Things are going pretty well.”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean agreed, and he fell quiet for a moment. “Hey, your degree is in some kind of administrative stuff, right?”  
  
    “Yeah,” Jimmy answered. “Not doing me much good here...”  
  
    “You still at work?” Dean asked, frowning. “Geez, you should be home by now!”  
  
    “Just clocking some overtime. No big deal,” the older man said. “Working it while I can. Why do you ask?  
  
    “Well, I wanted to call you as soon as I heard this,” Dean explained. “my boss told me that he’s posting a job for an administrative assistant to the director of our office. It should have come out today. I’ve already put in a good word for you.”  
  
    “Seriously?” Jimmy asked, setting forward. “That’s... wow. In California?”  
  
    “I know,” Dean told him. “But, it’s not like you don’t have family out here. And once you get your foot in the door, there are hundreds of offices all over the U.S. you can transfer to. I mean, Cas and I have talked a couple times about settling down in Kansas or South Dakota. But for now, California has been pretty sweet. Just apply,” he told the other man. “You can always turn it down if you get it. Put me an’ Sam down as references.” he paused. “And then some legitimate ones who know businessy-administrativey stuff.”  
  
    “Right,” Jimmy laughed, “I will.”  
  
    “You promise?” Dean asked sternly. He could hear the other man sigh.  
  
    “Of course.”  
  
    “Good,” Dean continued. “I’m sure it pays the same, if not more, than a sales job for a religious-nut magazine. And the benefits are ridiculous. Certainly enough to comfortably take care of a family here on the west coast.”  
  
    “I’ll discuss it with Amelia... I know we’ve talked about living in California before, when we were younger.”  
  
    “There ya go,” Dean encouraged. Jimmy tapped his pen on the table, his brow furrowing slightly before he spoke again.  
  
    “It does just seem like pretty bad timing Dean,” he admitted. “I mean, it takes at least four or five months to hear back on a government job and then weeks to move. Not to mention trying to find a house; sell this one. Amelia will be almost ready to deliver.”  
  
    “You apply and I’ll see if I can get the speed turned up on that,” Dean told him. “And at least Amelia won’t be alone in her pre-natal misery, I mean,” he grinned to himself before finishing. “she and Cas can commiserate all they want...”  
  
    There was silence on the phone for a moment before Jimmy spoke.  
  
    “Uh... what!?” he exclaimed. “Dean are you - are you saying?”  
  
    Dean laughed, a wide grin breaking over his face and he nodded despite the fact that Jimmy couldn’t see him.  
  
    “Yeah. We found out a couple days ago. I just didn’t have a chance to call. I didn’t want to text, I wanted to be able to tell you.”  
  
    “Oh my god!” Jimmy said. “That’s... That’s amazing! Congratulations!”  
  
    “Thanks,” Dean replied, unable to keep from smiling.  
  
    “Oh wow, just... wow...” Jimmy ran a hand through his hair, leaning back in the chair again. “Cas, huh?”  
  
    “Yep,” Dean said, smugly. “I’m pretty proud of myself.” Jimmy laughed.  
  
    “I’m proud of you,” he stated, before his tone sobered slightly. “When, um, is he due?”  
  
    “Summer,” Dean replied with a sigh. “Late July, early August.”  
  
    Jimmy did some calculations in his head a moment.  
  
    “Did... did you knock up your husband in my guest room?”  
  
    Dean laughed so deep and loud, it brought Castiel up from downstairs to check on him out of curiosity. He narrowed his eyes at Dean as he stepped into the bedroom, watching his husband as he chuckled, a hand pressing to his eyes and holding the phone to his ear. Dean looked up, smiling at the Angel and holding out a hand to invite him forward. Cas moved to the side of the bed, letting Dean wrap a hand around the back of his thigh.  
  
    “Well anyway, brother,” Dean spoke. “You put in that resume and we’ll talk tomorrow night.”  
  
    “Is that Jimmy?” Castiel asked quietly, earning a nod in response. “Tell him I said hello...”  
  
    “Cas says hi, by the way,” Dean added. He could hear the smile in Jimmy’s voice as he responded.  
  
    “You tell little momma I said hi as well.”  
  
    Dean looked up at the Angel and grinned.  
  
    “He says hi,” he said, hoping against hope that Cas couldn’t hear the other side of that conversation. “You take care Jimmy. I’ll call you tomorrow if you have time.”  
  
    “Always have time for the Winchesters,” Jimmy told him. “Have a great night Dean. And really - Congratulation.”  
  
    “Thank you.”  
  
    The men said their goodbyes and Dean hung up, tossing his phone to the side and smiling up at the Angel.  
  
    “Hey baby,” he said warmly, massaging the back of the older man’s firm thigh. Castiel tilted his head as he looked down at his husband.  
  
    “Did Jimmy refer to me as ‘little momma’?” he asked. Dean’s smile slipped from his face. Castiel blinked. “Is... is my condition somehow comical? Or... shameful?”  
  
    “No baby,” Dean insisted, pulling the Angel down on the bed. “He wasn’t teasing you, he was teasing me...”  
  
    Castiel narrowed his eyes, looking back at Dean with curiosity.  
  
    “...how?”  
  
    Dean blushed, absently running a hand down Cas’s chest to his abdomen.  
  
    “It’s... it’s a human male thing.” he explained. “A really stupid, male-animal thing.”  
  
    The corner of Cas’s lips twitched into a smile.  
  
    “How so?”  
  
    Dean sighed, his blush deepening, as he pressed his palm against the expanse of Castiel’s hard, flat abs beneath the thin fabric of his sweater.  
  
    “Its... it’s a primal thing, I guess... to want...” he blushed harder. “to put a baby in the person you love.” he couldn’t look at the Angel as he spoke, he merely watched his hand slide over the navy cotton. “I didn’t want kids when I first fell in love with you, because I didn’t think we could have them and I wanted you more. But after we had Mary... and we knew we could do it again... I dunno...” he shrugged. Cas’s voice was deep and quiet when he spoke.  
  
    “You had a primal desire to impregnate me with your offspring?”  
  
    Dean grimaced.  
  
    “Sexy,” he remarked, his blush not fading. Castiel made a small chuckle, his own tan skin tinged with a light pink.  
  
    “You react with an embarrassment that assumes I didn’t have the same primal desire... to create life with you... to grow your young inside of me...”  
  
    The words caused a tightness in Dean’s groin and he looked up into the Angel’s blushing face. Without another word, he leaned down, devouring the other man’s mouth in a passionate kiss. Castiel slid his arms around Dean’s neck, pulling him down over him. They kissed each other feverishly for a moment before the actions became more intimate and unhurried. Dean slipped his hand beneath Castiel’s shirt, his finger’s skimming over the smooth, cool skin. Cas moaned contentedly against his lips, his own hands threading through the hunter’s hair.  
  
    “Hey guys, mom asked me to - jeez!”  
  
    Dean turned to look behind himself and Cas peered over him at Sam, who stood in the hallway shielding his eyes.  
  
    “Don’t you two like, _ever_ quit?”  
  
    “Whattaya want, Sam?” Dean smirked. The younger man sighed, dropping his hand.  
  
    “Mom wants to know if you want pork chops for dinner or spaghetti?...”  
  
    Dean made a face as if to say 'is there a real choice here'.  
  
    “Pork chops, Sammy,” he replied.  
  
    “Gotcha,” Sam replied, turning. He stopped when his brother called him back.  
  
    “Sam! Sam...”  
  
    “Yeah Dean?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Dean grinned.  
  
    “Be a sweetheart and tell mom I’m taking a shower, huh? We’ll be down in a bit.”  
  
    Sam grimaced, but nodded and turned away. He paused again upon hearing his name.  
  
    “Sammy!”  
  
    “Yes Dean?” Sam asked. His brother’s grin was too wide to look directly at.  
  
    “Close the door.”  
  
    Sam gave a disgusted grunt and the door clicked soundly when he pulled it closed. Dean chuckled, turning his attention back to his husband. Castiel was staring pensively down at Dean’s hand on his belly.  
  
    “What’s the matter?” Dean asked. The Angel sighed.  
  
    “I was just thinking about my life,” Castiel replied. The answer caused Dean to raise an eyebrow, curious as to the specifics of those thoughts.  
  
    “Yeah?” he asked. “Like what about it?”  
  
    Castiel sighed, turning his head to look into Dean’s face.  
  
    “I find this state of procreation very... appealing,” he began. “As you said, the thought of growing your child within me is an attractive prospect. I would have never thought it possible, since Jimmy’s vessel, my true vessel, is male. I do not know if I would have even thought this possible had my true vessel been female.”  
  
    Dean gave a soft laugh, running his hand back over Castiel’s stomach.  
  
    “Why would your true vessel have been female, if you’re a guy?” he asked. Castiel tilted his head, regarding Dean curiously.  
  
    “I have no identity of gender, Dean,” he replied. Dean didn’t have time to register anything other than confusion before the Angel continued. “The genitalia of my human form does not hold any significance to me. I believe I would have felt just as comfortable in a female vessel, as this one. I mean, I am grateful that I was destined for a vessel that you could appreciate, but it doesn’t change who I am.”  
  
    Dean blushed.  
  
    “So... you don’t think of yourself as a man?” he asked. Castiel smiled softly.  
  
    “I think of myself as an Angel,” he replied, gently touching Dean’s cheek. “I have grown fond of this body, yes. But, I don’t think I feel the same way about it as you do. I do not feel I identify with the gender of it, as you do yours.”  
      
    “Wow,” Dean remarked, trying to wrap his mind around what he had just heard.  
  
    “I hope that is okay?” Cas asked, a bit of concern in his tone. Dean smiled softly at him.  
  
    “Of course it is,” he insisted. “I love you for who you are, not what you are. What would it matter?”  
  
    Castiel sighed, shrugging.  
  
    “Gender seems important to you,” he replied, honestly. “Acting ‘like a man’ or being ‘a girl’...I don’t want to embarrass you by doing something you find unseemly for my outward appearance.”  
  
    “You do whatever makes you comfortable,” Dean told him, firmly. “I just want you to be happy.”  
  
    Castiel didn’t look swayed.  
  
    “Human beings can be very forceful of their opinions, and I don’t want to bring ridicule to our family,” he admitted. “Being a man, by all outward appearances, will bring scrutiny to my actions and behaviors.”  
  
    “Fuck humans,” Dean grumbled, curling up with Cas and nuzzling his throat. “Fuck them and their opinions.” he was quiet a minute before raising his head. “Does Mary have a gender?” he asked. Castiel smiled back at him.  
  
    “We’ll have to ask her,” he said, warmly. Dean gave an embarrassed smile, nodding.  
  
    “Right,”  
  
    Castiel sighed heavily, but there was a content expression on his face.  
  
    “Our children our so very wonderfully unique. I believe they will be nothing we expect, but everything we could want.”  
  
    Dean thought about that statement a moment, but he had to agree completely. Regardless of what his children did or how they identified or what they wanted out of life, they would always be his children, and he would love and accept them for that reason.  
  
    “Do your siblings identify as... as men or... or women?” Dean asked, thinking about the other angels he’d met. “I mean, you call each other‘bother’ and ‘sister’.”  
  
    “Some of them do,” Castiel replied. “When we speak in the human tongue to each other, we generally use the outward sex of the vessel when addressing. In Enochian, there is a gender neutral term we use that simply means... ‘sibling’, I suppose is the closest to human words. It’s feeling is more ‘part of my own’ or ‘part of my being’ than simply ‘sibling’. We are not related in the same way as human kin.”  
  
    “Huh,” Dean replied, thoughtfully. “I never really thought about it... I guess there is a lot that I didn’t think about. I think there are even some things I try not to think about...”  
  
    Castiel reached over and stroked the side of Dean’s face affectionately.  
  
    “There is no shame in finding sexual attraction and sexual gratification with this body, Dean,” he said. “Pleasure can always be found where love is, and love can bloom where one finds pleasure.”  
  
    “Hm,” Dean grunted, laying back down to press his face into the crook of his husband’s neck. Maybe he wasn’t ready to think about that.  
  
    They lay quietly for a moment before Castiel spoke again.  
  
    “I’m sorry if I ruined the mood. I feel that you were desiring intercourse.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, pulling away to sit up.  
  
    “You can make it up to me later,” he said, holding out a hand to pull the Angel to his feet. Castiel nodded, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck and kissing him deeply.  
  
    “With pleasure.”    
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean had always been a light sleeper, and months of domestic happiness hadn’t changed that. He was sleeping more soundly and for longer periods than he was used to, but he still woke when there were sounds even slightly out of the ordinary. Even if he had been a heavy sleeper, there is no way he could have slept through the almost violent way Castiel jerked awake.  
  
    “Whoa, whoa,” Dean spoke soothingly, setting up and putting an arm around his husband. “It’s alright baby... you okay?”  
  
    Castiel turned to Dean, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he still wasn’t quiet yet awake.  
  
    “Hey baby,” Dean continued softly, bringing a hand to the Angel’s cheek and touching him gently. “You awake?”  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath, nodding as he sighed. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed a hand across his face.  
  
    “Yes.” he spoke, his voice rough from sleep. “Yes, I’m fine... I... I had a nightmare...”  
  
    Dean ran a hand through the Angel’s hair and down the back of his neck, gently stroking his skin.  
  
    “Wendigos? Demons?” he asked with a smirk. Castiel shook his head, and he couldn’t lift his eyes to Dean’s.  
  
    “No,” he admitted quietly. “No...”  
  
    Dean’s brow furrowed as he looked down at Cas, trying to get a read on his expression. He wrapped an arm around him.  
      
    “Was it about the baby?” he asked softly. Castiel took another deep breath, shaking his head firmly.  
  
    “No. Not about that. It was...” he sighed. “I dreamed that...” he gave a weak, nervous laugh. “That it was like it was last year, and I told you that I loved you and...” Dean felt his stomach clench as the Angel continued. “And you told me it wasn’t like that for you. That you didn’t care for me like that. That... that...”  
  
    “Aw, honey,” Dean soothed, wrapping his arms around the other man and pulling him back down to the bed with him. “That couldn’t be farther from the truth. It was just a nightmare.” he held Cas close, encouraging him to cuddle against his chest. He could remember the time when he was in denial of his feelings for Cas, but he couldn’t imagine ever rebuffing Castiel’s admission of affection. He wondered if their conversation from earlier in the day may have planted itself in the Angel’s mind. “I think you and I both know that our feelings for each other goes back much farther than the first time we kissed.” he murmured, pressing his lips to the top of Cas’s hair. “And I can’t imagine not loving you. So, don’t give it another thought, hm?”  
  
    “I won’t,” came Castiel’s muffled response. “Dean...” the Angel slid his arms around the hunter and held him tightly. “I love you so much.”  
  
    “I know baby,” Dean replied. “I love you, too.”  
  
    Dean spent the next twenty minutes, sleepily whispering a list of all the things he loved about the man in his arms. He focused on the intangible things not associated with Jimmy’s old vessel, such as his thoughtfulness, the way he made Dean feel, and how well he took care of their family. Castiel fell easily to sleep, and Dean followed after, holding the Angel against him. He felt warm and happy, feeling Castiel’s skin against his, their legs entwined with each others. They got another three hours of peaceful sleep before once again Dean was startled awake by frantic motion on the bed. Cas scrambled to the edge of the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. Dean rolled out of bed, not even having a moment to think before he followed.  
  
    The Angel was slumped in front of the toilet, retching into the bowl. Dean quickly wet a washcloth, wringing it out and laying it gently on the back of Cas’s neck.  
  
    “It’s alright buddy,” Dean soothed, rubbing his back. Castiel spit into the water, taking a shaking breath.  
  
    “Why... why is this happening?” he gasped before he heaved again, emptying his stomach into the toilet.  
  
    Dean helplessly patted his back, uncertain of how to respond.  
  
    “Well you’re... you’re pregnant babe,” he said quietly.  
  
    Castiel turned to him with an incredulously, unamused expression.  
  
    “This vessel is male, Dean,” he replied hoarsely. “I understand that I am with child, but it’s not as though I am at the mercy of pregnancy hormones.”  
  
    Dean shrugged.  
  
    “Then maybe you had a bad piece of pork at dinner,” he reasoned. Castiel went green, grimacing deeply before turning and heaving out what little remained in his shuttering stomach. Dean frowned, running a hand slowly up and down Castiel’s back.  
  
    “Get it out now bud,” he said soothingly. “It’ll feel better when it’s over...” he leaned down and gently placed a kiss on the Angel’s shoulder. “I’m here for you.”  
  
    Castiel gave a heavy breath, spitting helplessly before his body seemed to droop in resignation.  
  
    “Thank you Dean,” he whispered. “One of these days, I promise I will be the one taking care of you.”  
  
    “Babe,” Dean spoke gently, running a hand over the other man’s wavy hair. “You’ve been sick... three times, if you count this. And I love that I get to take care of you. Because, you obviously haven’t noticed, you take care of me every single day. Since the day I met you.” Cas rested his cheek against his arm and looked back at Dean as he spoke. “Even if you didn’t drag my ass out of hell or pull me out of several tight spots, you make my lunch, and you cook my breakfast, wash my clothes... you put little love notes in my lunch.” he gave a small laugh and Castiel smiled weakly. “You tell me you love me all the time. The way you look at me... You take care of my soul, Angel.”  
  
    “I love you, Dean,” Cas said weakly. “I’m not trying to be a baby.”  
  
    “Well, you’re my baby,” Dean assured him, rising to his feet and holding out a hand to the Angel. “Is it all out?”  
  
    Castiel sat quietly a moment before nodding and letting Dean help him to his feet. Dean waited while Cas rinsed the sour taste from his mouth and brushed his teeth before walking with him back into the bedroom. It was close to six a.m., but he made the Angel get back beneath the comforter.  
  
    “You didn’t have the best night. You sleep in.” Dean insisted. “I’ll make breakfast.”  
  
    “Are you sure?” Castiel asked him, his heavy eyes indicating he may not try to disagree.  
  
    “Yeah.” Dean replied, leaning over to kiss him on the forehead. “I’m going to go get you something for your stomach. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”  
  
    Castiel made a sound of understanding, and Dean turned and pulled some clothes from the closet and dresser, quickly washing himself up and dressing before slipping downstairs. As he stopped at the bottom of the stairs to pull his shoes on, Sam looked up from where he and Jess slept on the pull out sofa.  
  
    “Dean?” Sam mumbled, pushing a hand through his hair as he picked up his phone to check the time. “You okay?”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean assured him. “Cas is nauseous. I’m running up to the drug store for some 7-up and crackers. You want anything?”  
  
    Sam stared at him a moment, as if he were going to debate the likelihood of an Angel having morning sickness. Instead, he only shook his head and lay back down.  
  
    Dean left the house as quietly as possible, but as soon as he settled into the car, he growled out loudly:  
  
    “Gabriel!”  
  
    He started the Impala, and no sooner as the engine roared to life, he had company.  
  
    “You snarled?” Gabriel asked dryly, raising an eyebrow. “Is the honeymoon over? I could swear just a couple days ago you were singing my praises...” Dean glanced over at him, his brow furrowed in irritation.  
  
    “It’s not that,” Dean grumbled, unamused. “What happened to Cas? He’s having nightmares and puking his guts up.”  
  
    Dean was surprised to see the flicker of concern in the archangel’s eyes.  
  
    “Well, it’s your doing, Dean,” Gabriel told him, coolly. “Or, didn’t your mommy and daddy tell you what happens when a man and an Angel love each other?”  
  
    Dean took a deep, measured breath, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel.  
  
    “I swear to your dad, Gabriel,” he spoke tightly. “I’m really grateful for what you’ve done for me and Cas, but I need your help here. I need to know that he’s going to be okay.”  
  
    Gabriel sighed.  
  
    “Look, I’m sorry.” he said. “It’s to be expected. For Cas to be expecting ‘traditionally’, there is very little inconvenience.” he explained. “Once the child’s grace began to grow within his, he would just have a sense of connection with it, be ‘in tune’ with its energy. He’d be all zen and rainbows.”  
  
    “Great,” Dean grumbled, shaking his head. “So, I guess what you’re telling me is that this won’t be that great?”  
  
    Gabriel shrugged.  
  
    “The fledgling’s grace is sharing Cas’s _vessel_ now,” he told him.  
  
    “How can it survive like that? Cas’s vessel is all male.” Dean said, pulling the Impala into a parking spot in the drugstore parking lot. Gabriel shook his head.  
  
    “It’s not a baby the way you are thinking of,” Gabriel told him. “I mean, it is. It’s a baby. In nine-ish months you’re going to have another little bundle with tiny hands and feet and big eyes,” Dean tried not to grin at the thought. Gabriel continued. “It’s pure grace right now. That grace is sharing space in Cas’s vessel. It’s going to cause a little bit of havoc, but nothing traumatic. As his body accepts the foreign grace, he may feel a little ill. Once his vessel is used to sharing the space, he’ll feel better. He may actually feel better than ever with the extra energy - some of that zen and rainbows.”  
  
    Dean sighed.  
  
    “That’s comforting...” he said, running a hand through his hair. Gabriel watched him a moment as the hunter stared through the windshield, a faraway look in his eyes. This human loved his little brother. Desperately. Deeply. Purely.  
  
    “He’ll be alright. This child won’t hurt him and nothing will hurt this child.” Gabriel said. “And I’ve got my eye on them.... I’ve got my eye on a lot of things.”  
  
    Dean looked over into the passenger’s seat, but the archangel was gone. He wasn’t sure if he truly trusted Gabriel, but he guessed he had to. Cas did, so he was going to have to go along with it. Gabe seemed on the up and up so far. So Cas would be a little sick while his vessel adjusted to the extra grace - that wasn’t so bad. He would adjust, his body would get used to it, and he would even feel better than ever.... And then they’d have a baby. He and Cas would be the fathers of two children. A family of four.  
  
    With a goofy grin on his face, Dean exited the car and walked into the drugstore. He grabbed one of the hand baskets and filled it with a box of bland crackers, miniature cans of 7-up, and ginger tea. Out of curiosity, he walked down the aisle with the pregnancy vitamins and other prenatal supplies. He found a box of fruit flavored suckers that were supposed to help ease nausea and morning sickness. He dropped it in the basket and headed back to the front, stopping in the seasonal area. He strolled through slowly, looking at all of the Christmas candy, decorations, and tiny gifts. He made one quick selection before buying his items and returning to the house.  
  
    As Dean pulled up in front of the small townhouse, he sat for a moment looking up at the facade with it’s colorful glowing lights; the multicolored bulbs of the Christmas tree in the front window twinkling and reflecting off of the metallic ornaments. This was his house, and inside was his family, his baby daughter, and his pregnant Angel husband. He chuckled to himself, picking up his bag and going into the house.  
  
    Castiel was asleep when Dean slipped back into the bedroom. He sat the items on on Cas’s bedside table, scribbling a quick note on the side of the cracker box before going downstairs to start breakfast. When Cas finally opened his eyes, he lay quietly in the semi-darkness, his stomach gurgling uncomfortably. He rolled slowly onto his opposite side, seeing the group of items setting on his nightstand. Even with the discomfort in his abdomen, a smile came to his face. The box of crackers had Dean’s beautiful scrawl across it.  
  
_I hope you feel better, baby_  
  
    Sitting on top of the box was a small fuzzy brown bear in a white toga with wings and a halo. It was holding a stuffed red heart between its hands. The heart proclaimed “I Love you, Angel”.  
  
    Castiel tucked the teddy bear down beside himself and opened the box of crackers, nibbling on the bland crackers to help settle his stomach. It took close to ten minutes before he felt well enough to pull himself from bed. He sipped one of the small cans of 7up as he collected his clothes and went in to the bathroom to shower and dress. He was still clutching his can of soda when he went downstairs. The family was gathered in the kitchen, where Dean was manning the the stove and Sam was feeding the baby while Bobby held her in his lap. Mrs. Winchester approached the Angel with her arms outstretched, pulling him in to a gentle hug.  
  
    “Good morning, dear,” she said warmly, bringing a hand to his cheek. “How are you feeling? Dean said you were a little under the weather. Are you having a relapse of your flu from last week?”  
  
    “No,...mom,” he assured her, earning a wide grin from Dean. “I’m just a little tired.”  
  
    Bobby watched the way Sam grinned at Jessica, and looked over at Dean with the same small, knowing smile. Cas moved over to Dean and the young hunter wrapped an arm around him and placed a kiss on his forehead.  
  
    “I’m makin’ scrambled eggs and toast, babe,” Dean told him, blushing a bit as he noticed Bobby watching him. “You hungry?”  
  
    “That sounds fine, Dean,” Castiel agreed, “I’d like that.”  
  
    The group sat around the table and had a cheerful breakfast, and Castiel appeared to be feeling much better by the time the meal was over. After breakfast, they spent most of the morning and afternoon out in town, touring a large Christmas display that was spread out across a huge family park in the east of Palo Alto. Dean felt a sort of zen-happiness of his own as he walked with his family, carrying his daughter and side by side with Cas. He watched Jessica and Sam walk hand in hand in front of him, and he couldn’t help but smile.  
  
    They ate lunch in the park from a vendor selling hot turkey and cranberry sandwiches. Dean spotted a cart selling kettle corn and fresh caramel corn, and he almost came out of his seat.  
  
    “Babe!” he exclaimed, seemingly unaware or unconcerned that others looked his way. “You are going to love that. I’m going to go get some of that.”  
  
    “I’ll go with you, boy,” Bobby spoke, getting up from the picnic table and following Dean across the grass. As they waited in line, Bobby cleared his throat.  
      
    “So... how’s work been?” he asked. Dean shrugged, giving a grin.  
  
    “Pretty boring, actually,” he admitted. “But once I go away for training, I get to start field work. That’s when we start working all the cases we’ve been sorting out for weeks.” Bobby nodded, scratching his chin.  
  
    “D’jyou ever find out when you have to go?” he asked. Dean grimaced, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
    “Yeah,” he said, looking back over his shoulder to where Castiel sat with the others. “The second of January. For six weeks...”  
  
    Bobby frowned up at the younger man.  
  
    “And I take it you haven’t broken the news to feathers over there?”  
  
    Dean tried not to roll his eyes.  
  
    “I just found out recently, I keep forgetting to mention it...we’ve been busy...”  
  
    Bobby shook his head.  
  
    “Boy,” he sighed. “You are in for a world of hurt. That ain’t a way to start a marriage.”  
  
    “Come on Bobby,” Dean groaned, “It’s not like that. It’s not that I am purposely trying not to tell him, it just... it just worked out that way...”  
  
    Bobby gave a tilt of his head as if to say ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you’. They advanced in the queue, and Bobby adjusted his cap.  
  
    “Your Angel isn’t just down with the flu... is he?”  
  
    Dean looked down at Bobby, a look of surprise on his face that melted into a goofy grin.  
  
    “What do you mean Bobby?” he asked, scoffing. The older hunter gave him a wry smirk. Dean chuckled, a blush rising to his face. “Oh, if you mean you’re gonna be a grandpa for a second time next summer, that’s probably what been bothering Cas this morning...”  
  
    Bobby laughed, pulling the younger man into an embrace.  
  
    “I have no clue how you managed that boy,” he spoke tightly. “But I couldn’t be more happy for you.” he held Dean out at arms length, looking him straight in the eyes. “This is a miracle.”  
  
    “Gee, Bobby,” Dean laughed, wiping at his eyes. “If I’d have known it was this important to you, I’d have started poppin’ out kids with Cas years ago.”  
  
    Bobby laughed as well, shaking his head and pulling his hat down further to shield his eyes.  
  
    “You’re not finding this ironic that in less than a year you’re having two children with a male Angel, and you’ve never even had a scare with one of the hundreds of girl’s you’ve fooled around with?” Bobby asked him. Dean sobered, shaking his head. He looked back out across the park to where his husband sat, holding their baby daughter in his arms. He waved shyly at Dean before lifting Mary’s tiny hand and waving it toward Dean as well. Dean smiled, waving back.  
  
    “Cas and I were meant to be.” he said, simply.  
  
    “Yeah,” Bobby agreed, pushing him ahead as they got to the front of the line. After purchasing their snacks, Bobby and Dean walked slowly back to the table. “You told your mom yet?” he asked.  
  
    “We’re planning to tell her tonight,” Dean answered. Bobby was quiet for just a second before he continued.  
  
    “He’s... he’s okay, right?” he asked. “I just... I just never forgot the fear I felt hearing you howlin’ like your insides were burnin’ out, as much as I love that little girl.”  
  
    Dean took a deep breath.  
  
    “Well, I don’t imagine that part is going to be much fun for him,” he agreed, grimly. “But, his brother assures me he’s going to be fine and he’ll do whatever he needs to to make sure it stays that way.”  
  
    Their conversation came to a close as they returned to the group. Dean offered the paper cone of caramel corn to the Angel.  
  
    “You’re gonna love this,” he assured him. Cas squinted down at the snack, taking a piece of the warm, gooey popcorn and put it in his mouth. Dean grinned, nodding. “Yeah? Right?”  
  
    Cas smiled, nodding. Dean felt an overwhelming surge of happiness and emotion and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Castiel’s. Cas appeared taken aback, but he smiled  
  
    Before they left the park, Sam took his niece to set on Santa’s lap and get her picture taken. The baby looked up at the bearded stranger with wonder, her blue eyes wide. But she smiled at his chuckling laugh and giggled happily as Sam took dozens of pictures. The man playing Santa gave her a stuffed doll, and the baby fell asleep with it clutched to her chest on the ride home. Castiel cradled her in his arms as they returned to the house, and he settled down on the couch to hold her. Dean settled at his side.  
  
    Mary sat on the couch, leaning over to pat her son on the thigh.  
  
    “You make such a beautiful family,” she told them happily.  
  
    “Thanks mom,” Dean grinned. Mary caught Sam’s hand and she pulled him down at her side.  
  
    “I remember your first Christmas,” she continued to Dean, but kept Sam’s hands in hers. She continued quickly so the thought wouldn’t linger that she wasn’t alive for Sam’s first Christmas. “You were so little and chubby and perfect.”  
  
    Jessica made a pot of coffee and everyone gathered in the living room to listen to Mary’s story, and in turn began to recall tales of Christmases past. There were a few Christmases when the boys were young and staying with Bobby that they shared a poignant laugh over, but the levity in the room came to a halt when Castiel asked:  
  
    “Why didn’t we celebrate Christmas last year?”  
  
    Mary looked from her oldest to her youngest child.  
  
    “You didn’t celebrate Christmas last year?” she repeated. “Why not?”  
  
    Dean shrugged.  
  
    “Just... just didn’t think about it really, I mean... Christmas is when you have kids, right?”  
  
    Mary frowned at him.  
  
    “When is the last time you celebrated Christmas?” she demanded. Dean looked to his brother, and both of them grimaced, remembering the last night gift exchange of gas station purchases so many years ago.  
  
    “I think the point is that we’re celebrating _now_ ,” Sam replied, giving his mother a hug. “So, who wants to open gifts, huh?”  
  
    “Oh,” Mary whined, looking around at their agreeable faces. “Don’t you want to wait for Christmas morning?”  
  
    “I want to sleep in on Christmas morning,” Sam laughed. “Unless you really want us to wait.”  
  
    Everyone’s attention was drawn to the baby as she cooed loudly, her tiny hands reaching for the colorful lights of the Christmas tree. Mrs. Winchester smiled.  
  
    “I guess sleeping in doesn’t sound so bad,” she spoke, “The baby has decided.”  
  
    “Let me change her first,” Dean announced, taking the baby from his husband’s arms. He returned in minutes with a happy and dry baby girl. Sam had moved the coffee table out of the way and most everyone was setting on the floor in front of the tree. Dean handed the baby back down to his brother, and he dropped onto the floor in front of where Cas was still sitting on the sofa. He took hold of Cas’s arm, holding it across his chest as the Angel leaned his chin on Dean’s head.  
  
    “Okay!” Sam announced, poking through the pile of gifts under the tree. “Where do we start...”  
  
    Soon, the room was full of the sound of crinkling paper and laughter as they exchanged and opened presents. Castiel was mesmerized by the photo album that Jessica had painstakingly put together for him and Dean, containing photos of him and Dean when they first met, and then newer photos of their family together.  
  
    Dean grinned as he unwrapped a gift from Castiel. It was a journal, with a dark leather cover and a bronze clasp that secured it closed. Dean ran his fingers over the soft leather, where a symbol had been burned into the hide. The Enochian symbol for protection. One of the few Enochian symbols he knew.  
  
    “For your new type of hunting,” Cas said quietly, watching the younger man for an indication if the gift was appropriate or not. “I hope.. you like it.”  
  
    “It’s perfect,” Dean assured him, tilting his head back and pulling the Angel down for a kiss. “Perfect.”    
  
    “Here Cas,” Jessica interrupted, handing him a present wrapped in green and white striped paper. “This one is from Dean.”  
  
    Cas accepted the package with a soft ‘thank you’ and carefully opened the taped ends. Dean turned where he sat between Cas’s knees to get a better look at the item he was meticulously unwrapping. Underneath the paper was a large, hardcover book. The cover showed a picture of a large garden, filled with butterflies and hummingbirds.  
  
    “It tells you how to start your own garden,” Dean told him. Sam smiled.  
  
    “Yeah, we already looked through it. No Angel banishing spells in there.”  
  
    Castiel smiled softly, his fingers gently tracing over a picture of colorful blooms.    
  
    “Thank you, very much. I would love to make a garden. Is that fine that I make one in this yard, Dean?”  
  
    “Of course it’s fine,” Dean told him, giving his thigh a squeeze. “I think that sounds awesome.”  
  
    “You can even have a vegetable garden,” Mrs. Winchester told him. “It takes a little more work, but it’s worth it. And by the time spring comes around, Mary will be big enough to be in a playpen while you work in the yard.”  
  
    Dean gave a guilty smile to Castiel, before he pulled away to crawl toward the tree.  
  
    “Here mom,” he said, picking up a flat box wrapped in red paper. “This is from me an’ Cas.”  
  
    After he handed the gift to his mother, he got to his feet and settled on the couch beside his husband, resting a hand on his thigh. Mary smiled at them, peeling back the paper with slightly less restraint than the Angel had shown with his gifts. Once the paper was torn away, she lifted the lid on the box and pushed back the tissue paper to reveal the shiny silver frame tucked inside. The word “Family” was engraved on the lower edge, beneath the showcase of photos. Mary smiled, bringing a hand to her throat as she looked at the pictures of her with her handsome boys and their daughter. The picture in the center was of her holding little Mary on the day of her son’s wedding. Her brows drew together at the empty slot on the top right corner.  
  
    “Oh, I think one fell behind...” she said, turning the frame over and opening the back. Her expression turned puzzled by the lack of a fifth picture. “Didn’t you have one to go in this frame?” she asked, raising her eyes to Dean and Castiel. “Or, is this for a Christmas picture?...”  
  
    Dean licked his lips nervously, shrugging his shoulders. There was in irrepressible grin on his face when he answered.  
  
    “No,” he said, his voice somewhat tight and rough from both nervous laughter and emotion. “We just thought we’d leave that one open for a picture of the new baby...”  
  
    Mary’s eyes grew wide and she turned from Dean to Cas, then to Sam and Jess.  
  
    “...Who?” she asked. Jessica laughed.  
  
    “Not me!” she announced, holding out her hands. Mary turned back to her oldest son.  
  
    “Oh Dean!” she exclaimed, standing and moving to lean down to hug her son and the Angel together. “Oh my god!” she cupped Dean’s face in her hands. “When? I mean, how? I mean, when did you find out?”  
  
    Dean laughed, taking his mother’s hands in his.  
  
    “We just found out,” he replied. “Cas’s brother let us know.”  
  
    Mary turned to Castiel, who nodded.  
  
    “He says I should have the baby by late summer of next year. I’m not far along in this gestation, but I am already feeling the effects,” he dropped a hand to his stomach, his brows drawing together as he looked down at the flat expanse beneath his palm. Mary had an expression of awe on her face as she settled beside him on the side opposite from Dean. She placed her hand beside his.  
  
    “Oh Cas,” she whispered. “What a blessing...”  
  
    “Yes,” Castiel agreed, nodding. “I prayed that we would be allowed this gift before I lost all of my connection to heaven, and it appears that my prayers were answered.”  
  
    Dean gave his thigh a squeeze, as if to say “ _our_ prayers”. Cas smiled at him.  
  
    “So,” Bobby broke in, shifting the baby in his lap so she was able to get a better angle toward the fabric busy book that he had bought her. “No offense boys, but how is this baby growing in your belly and not just jumping out of your head by surprise one day?”  
  
    “Legitimate question,” Sam replied. Cas sighed.  
  
    “The child was growing in my consciousness, traditionally, but my brother said that it may be dangerous if heaven knew. He moved the energy into my vessel so they could not detect it.” he looked back down at his stomach. “Our child will grow in my abdomen until its grace is strong enough to give a physical form. Then... then it will jump out by surprise, I suppose...”  
  
    “I’ll be here with you, Cas,” Jessica assured him.  
  
    “I’ll be fine Jessica, I assure you,” he replied. “Besides,” he pointed to the laptop on the floor that Sam had given her. “you should be going back to school soon. My brother said he would help. And if we want, he’ll even tell us if it is a boy or a girl.” he turned to Dean. “Do you want it to be a boy?”  
  
    “I just want it to be healthy,” Dean sighed, leaning back on the sofa. “... they’re practically twins...”  
  
    “We should celebrate,” Mary announced, standing and going into the kitchen. She returned with a carton of eggnog on a tray with six glasses and a bottle of rum. “Eggnog,” she said happily, setting the tray on the coffee table and pouring out the drinks. “No rum for you, Cas.” she smiled, handing the glasses out. “To my boys and my grandchildren.”  
  
    “Here, here,” Bobby agreed.  
  
    “Well,” Dean began, setting forward. “These gifts won’t unwrap themselves.”  
  
    The happiness and cheer in the room seemed to double, and they continued unwrapping the pile of presents beneath the tree. Dean got Sam a new shoulder holster for their new job, and Sam had gotten Dean the complete Star Wars collection on blu ray - for which he apologized in advance to Castiel. Castiel was both intrigued and pleased with his new tablet computer, so Dean finally felt relief that he had chosen well.  
  
    Once all of the gifts were unwrapped, and Mary had arranged them back under the tree, they all sat quietly watching the fireplace and finishing the last of their drinks. The baby was sleeping on Castiel’s chest, and he was nodding off himself. Dean was watching him, a smile on his face as he slowly drained his third tumbler of eggnog. He sat the glass aside, rising from his seat and lifting his daughter into his arms.  
  
    “C’mon baby,” he murmured, not to the child, but to his husband. “Let’s get you two to bed.”  
  
    Everyone exchanged hugs and words of good night, and Castiel and Dean went upstairs to put the baby to bed. Dean told the Angel that he’d take care of their daughter so Cas crossed the hall to clean up for bed. As Dean was buttoning the baby into a fleecy, Christmas onesie, Sam stepped into the room.  
  
    “Hey,” he greeted, his voice low so as not to wake the baby. “Do, um... do you have a minute?”  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow, lifting the baby to his shoulder.  
  
    “Yeah, what’s up?”  
  
    Sam looked behind them, shutting the door softly. Dean put the baby down into the crib, and turned back to his brother. He waited patiently as Sam fidgeted.  
  
    “So...um... do you have a minute...” Sam repeated nervously, giving a grimacing smile. “Um... I just wanted to... talk to you about something.”  
  
    “Go on,” Dean prompted, folding his arms over his chest. Sam smiled, running a hand through his hair.  
  
    “Tomorrow... I’m...” he gave a small laugh. “I want to ask Jess to... to marry me.”  
  
    Dean felt the smile spread across his face and he didn’t say anything before he crossed to his brother and embraced him.  
  
    “”Bout time, brother,” Dean said gruffly, giving the younger man a squeeze and a thump on the back before turning him loose. “Good for you.”  
  
    Sam nodded, exhaling nervously.  
  
    “I was going to ask her - surprise her - with her family. But, I wanted you to be the first to know. I just...” he shook his head. “I wanted you to know first.”  
  
    He wanted to add “because you’ve always been a father to me”, but the emotion in his throat wouldn’t let him. But Dean could tell by the look in his eyes, and he nodded. For better or for worse, Sammy would always be his little brother _and_ his oldest child.  
  
    “She better keep you happy,” Dean told him, giving him one more hug. Sam grinned.  
  
    “She will.”  
  
    Dean nodded, giving his brother a clap on the back.  
  
    “Off to bed,” he finished, firmly.  
  
    “Or Santa won’t come?” Sam laughed, turning and opening the door.  
  
    “No, because you got a long-ass drive ahead of you tomorrow,” he replied. Mary was just coming up the stairs to turn in herself, and she hugged her boys tightly, kissing their faces before letting them return to their rooms. Dean walked across to his bedroom, where Cas was snuggled under the covers.  
  
    “You warm enough?” Dean asked as he crossed to the bathroom. Cas gave a sound of affirmation. Dean quickly washed his face and brushed his teeth before returning to the room, undressing by the hamper and climbing into bed in his boxers. They settled comfortably against each other, Dean wrapping his arms around the Angel. “D’you have a merry Christmas?” he asked. Castiel made a happy sound of contentment.  
      
    “Very,” came his reply, muffled against Dean’s chest. “You?”  
  
    Dean chuckled, planting a kiss on the other man’s soft, wavy hair.  
  
    “Oh, baby,” he sighed, pulling him in tight. “You have no idea.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean woke Christmas morning before the sun was up. He found he was sleeping on his side with Castiel spooned in behind him; warm, strong arms wrapped around his waist. Dean smiled sleepily, reaching back and sliding his hand up the Angel’s thigh.  
  
    “You awake?” he murmured into the dark.  
  
    “Mm-hm,” Cas replied, leaning his head down against the hunter’s shoulder.  
  
    “You feelin’ alright?” Dean asked, continuing to stroke the other man’s leg.  
  
    “Yes,” Cas answered. “My stomach doesn’t hurt at all. I’m just... still a little tired.”  
  
    “Good,” Dean said. “That’s good to hear... I’m gonna run to the bathroom for a sec.”  
  
    Castiel released his hold on the hunter and watched Dean walk groggily across the room. Cas closed his eyes when the bathroom light snapped on and and he curled up as he waited for Dean’s warmth to return. It was only a couple of minutes before Dean’s comforting weight settled on the bed. Cas collected him back into his arms without even opening his eyes, placing sweetly sleepy kisses on the hunter’s neck. Dean groaned happily, rolling his hips into Cas’s.  
  
    “Damn, baby,” he breathed, sliding his hands up the Angel’s back. “... thought you were tried?”  
  
    “Not too tired,” Castiel spoke, his voice deep and gravelly from disuse, and it only added to Dean’s arousal. “And, to be honest, I’m taking advantage of a the moment since I don’t feel ill...”  
  
    Dean chuckled, grinding into Cas with more enthusiasm.  
  
    “Take advantage then, by all means...”  
  
    Dean’s laughter soon turned to breathy moans as they continued to kiss and caress each other, ridding themselves of the few articles of clothing fully separating skin from skin. Their kissing was passionate, deep and hungry. Dean ran his hands over every inch of Castiel he could reach, stroking and gripping and kneading his bare flesh. Castiel returned his affection with equal enthusiasm, and Dean eagerly pulled Cas close as he moved over him.  
  
    “Oh god, Cas, yes,” Dean groaned, letting the Angel take control. “ _Oh baby_...”  
  
    Dean leaned up to kiss across Cas’s ribcage and chest as the Angel leaned over to get the lubricant bottle from the nightstand. And soon he was starring back into those bright blue eyes, breathless with the intensity of being filled and the rhythm of Castiel’s thrusts. Dean couldn’t help but rock back against him, pulling his knees up higher to encourage Cas to push deep. He ran his hands down the backs of the Angel’s thighs, his eyes sliding closed as he let go to the sensation flooding through him.  
  
    “Is this okay?” Castiel asked quietly, leaned down to kiss his husband’s face and jaw. “Do you need it... harder?”  
  
    “No,” Dean gasped, a smile coming to his lips. “No baby, this is good... this is ... so good...”  
  
    Cas smiled, keeping an easy rhythm as they moved together, enjoying every grunt and sigh and whine that escaped Dean’s beautiful mouth. He dropped his hand to stroke Dean’s shaft, the sheen of lubricant still slick on his palm helping to ease the drag over his skin. Dean moaned loudly, throwing his head back and pawing the sheets as the pressure in his groin began to mount. Castiel shifted his position, his fist moving more quickly over Dean’s erection as he felt his own end drawing close.  
  
    Dean gasped, breathing heavily as he reached down to bring his hand over Cas’s.  
  
    “I got it babe,” he whispered, urging the older man to let him take himself in hand. “Just a little faster, baby. Just- _ah_...”  
  
    Dean hadn’t given half a dozen strokes to his flesh before Cas’s dead-on attention caused his release to spill over his knuckles and onto his abdomen. He was mumbling Cas’s name as he thrust uselessly into his hand, the final pulses of his orgasm slowing as Castiel continued to move inside of him. Dean relaxed into the mattress, dropping his arm and wiping his hand against the sheet.  
  
    “Dean,” Castiel gasped, leaning forward to rest his forehead against his husband’s shoulder. Dean stoked his neck and back, and he let out a soft sigh when he felt Castiel thrust deep and shudder, his body pressing into the hunter’s as he climaxed. Dean wrapped his arms around the Angel, holding him tightly. After a couple moments, Cas withdrew and he and Dean kissed each other lazily as they lay side by side.  
  
    Dean grinned, stroking Castiel’s cheek.  
  
    “Merry Christmas,” he chuckled, before snuggling down against his husband’s chest. As he lay in Castiel’s strong arms, feeling the Angel gently stroke his fingers through his hair, Dean felt a small tug of guilt. He had been afraid to tell Cas about his out of town training because he was worried about how the other man would take it. There were too many times that he forgot his darling, naive husband was just as strong and capable as he was. “Hey babe,” he spoke, pressing his cheek to Castiel’s chest. “I got some news earlier in the week that I forgot to tell you in all the excitement of the holidays...”  
  
    “Oh?” Castiel asked, looking down at the man in his arms. Dean’s response was a few moments coming.  
  
    “I got the notification that I’m scheduled for my FBI training,” he could feel Cas tense up slightly and Dean pulled away. He leaned on his elbow, resting his head on his hand. Cas had a look on his face that Dean couldn’t read. “I leave on the second of January... right after New Years. I’ll be in Washington D.C. for six weeks, then I’ll be back to start the new job properly.” he dropped his eyes from Castiel’s face, focusing instead on his fingers trailing over the other man’s bare chest. “Sam will be with me... we’ll get our training out of the way together, so that’s cool...” Cas didn’t reply, so Dean continued to talk to fill the silence. “I’m sorry I won’t be here while you’re still getting used to... the baby... I’d rather be here with you, really.”  
  
    “I know, Dean,” Castiel spoke quietly. “It’s not forever. Just... six weeks.” he gave a faint smile, “We can still talk on the phone. Or the video chatting...”  
  
    “I’d like that,” Dean agreed. “... ‘cause I’m going to miss you like crazy,”  
  
    “I’m going to miss you, too,” Castiel agreed. “But, we’re together right now. For the next... eight days.”  
  
    Dean wrapped an arm around the Angel’s neck, pulling him close.  
  
    “I’ll be home before you know it, buddy,” he said, kissing him softly on the mouth. “And then, hopefully, I won’t have to go anywhere else.”  
  
    “You’re still a hunter, Dean,” Cas told him, a look of resignation on his face. “Not all of your cases will be confined to this area of California. You will more likely than not have to travel for cases eventually.”  
  
    Dean frowned. It was the truth, and one he had tried to ignore until hearing it spoken aloud like that.  
  
    “We’re together right now,” Dean repeated, leaning his forehead against the Angel’s before tilting his head and kissing him again.  
  
    They lay together in the dark quiet of the room, sharing gentle kisses and soft caresses, holding each other as if today was the day they would say goodbye before Dean’s training. As the sky outside began to grow a pale blue grey, they reluctantly rose but continued their affection in the shower. Dean thought once they were dressed that he’d be able to pull himself together and go downstairs, but his intentions were thwarted when he pressed the Angel against the door, kissing him breathless. It wasn’t until they heard movement in the room across the hall that they managed to separate and leave the bedroom.  
  
    “Good morning,” Mary greeted them as they emerged into the hallway. “Merry Christmas!” she hugged them both, giving each a kiss on the cheek.  
  
    “Merry Christmas, mom,” Dean replied, hugging her tightly. “The baby up?”  
  
    “Not yet,” she said, turning to the room behind her. “I thought you would want to wake her up.” she grinned. “To see what Santa brought and all. I’ll go make breakfast.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, continuing into the nursery. His daughter was sleeping quietly, curled up in a ball in the middle of the crib, her arms and legs tucked underneath her and her diapered butt in the air. Dean gave a broad smile, leaning into the crib and patting her back.  
  
    “Good morning, precious,” he spoke softly. As was her custom, little Mary lifted her head immediately upon hearing her father’s voice, a wide, sleepy grin on her face and she lay her cheek back against the mattress, cooing. When Dean picked her up, she curled into the curve of his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck. When she spotted Castiel, she began to gurgle happily.  
      
    Dean and Cas shared the duty of bathing the baby and dressing her for the day. Once the baby was dressed in a white long sleeve onesie and a green corduroy jumper with Rudolf embroidered on the front pocket, Dean and Cas descended to the living room.  
  
    Sam and Jessica were setting on the couch, which had already been folded up from the night. Jessica was grinning broadly at them.  
  
    “Santa came last night,” she announced, holding up a small wrapped package. Dean turned, slightly confused, to the Christmas tree to see several wrapped gifts tucked in with the ones they had opened last night. Mary walked by, patting him on the cheek.  
  
    “You must have been a good boy this year,” she commented.  
  
    “Really, mom,” Dean sighed, but he was grinning happily. He handed the baby to Sam and squatted in front of the pile of presents. “Here Cas, this is for you,” he said, holding a box out for the Angel. Castiel took the gift, a look of confusion on his face.  
  
    “Who are these from?” he asked. Dean smiled as he got to his feet.  
  
    “Santa Claus,” he replied. Cas didn’t look any less confused, but he took the gift and sat down beside Dean on the loveseat.  
  
    Inside the shiny, metallic paper was a white box containing a navy blue knit cap and matching scarf, and a pair of black leather gloves. Castiel ran his hand over the soft knitted scarf, marveling over the thought of needing to be protected from the elements - but grateful that someone was concerned enough about him to consider it.  
      
    “Nice,” Dean commented, taking the hat and pulling it down over Castiel’s wavy hair. “looks good.”  
  
    Whoever “Santa” was had brought Dean a thick, fleece pullover jacket with leather details; Sam a set of cool weather compression sleeves to protect joints when running in the cold; Jessica a long knitted scarf with tassels, matching knitted legwarmers and an assortment of lip glosses that made her giggle like a little girl; and the baby received a collection of classic storybooks, which Sam was now reading to her.  
  
    Cas leaned over toward Dean, whispering to him.  
  
    “Santa is your mother and Bobby... correct?” he asked. Dean only smiled, grabbing the Angel’s hand and giving it a squeeze.  
  
    Not long after breakfast, Sam and Jessica gathered their belongings and went out to put them in the car. There was an awkward moment with the discovery of a box on the front porch, that when opened contained six wrapped gifts and an envelope. It was from John. Sam and Dean looked uneasily at each other.  
  
    “Well, what’s he got to say for himself?” Bobby asked, taking the baby and setting down at the kitchen table where Dean had sat the box in the center. Dean sighed. The envelope had his name on the outside, so he was the one that opened it and pulled out the letter it contained. Sam unashamedly read from over his shoulder.  
  
     _Dean,_  
  
_I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from when you are trying to enjoy the holidays with your family, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the way things ended up between us. You probably couldn’t care less what I have to say, and rightly so, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what I need to say to you and I’ve written about a hundred of these letters, so I hope you can at least read this one to the end if I finally finish it. _  
  
_I know that I can never make up for the past. Seeing how you’ve grown, how much of a good man and a good hunter you’ve become, has really shown me that. You didn’t grow up well because of me. You grew up well in spite of me. And Sam grew up well because of you - which explains why we never saw eye to eye. Sam was loyal to you because you raised him, not me. And I’m sorry that I put that burden on you. _  
  
    Dean swallowed hard, his jaw tightening. He could feel Sam’s hand gripping his arm, but he forced himself to continue reading.  
  
      _I wanted to be angry at you when we last saw each other. To be honest, I was for a while. I thought you were being ungrateful, but when I found Adam and worked the case to find his mother, I realized a lot of things. The things I did to you when you were a child - leaving you with Sam, putting so much responsibility on you, treating you like an adult - these things are unforgivable. You were my lifeline to Mary, and I should have cherished you, but instead I leaned on you for the support I needed instead of protecting you and helping you through your grief. As you got older, it got harder to let you go, and I know that wasn’t easy on you. You deserved a normal childhood and a normal life. But I was selfish and I needed you by my side, and I took out my own shame of my behavior as control on you. So, when you met your Angel, I have to say that I felt threatened. I didn’t want him to replace me as the important person in your life. I don’t disagree with your marriage because Castiel is a man, Dean, but because he took you away. I know that sounds ridiculous. It is ridiculous. But I’ve thought hard on it, and you deserve all the love that heaven has to give you, because it’s clear to anyone that sees you two how much in love you are. And I treated him poorly, when I should be thanking him every day for taking care of my boy and giving him everything I failed to._  
  
    Those around the table watched in silence as Dean and Sam read, tears on their faces. But no one could speak, they could only wait.  
  
   _So, this is certainly too little too late, but I wanted you all to know that I have been thinking about you. If you don’t want any contact with me and want me to stay out of your life, I’ll understand. Just leave this box setting on your porch and I will pick it up when it’s not too much trouble for you. I’ve made too many mistakes, and I know that some things shouldn’t be forgiven, and I won’t hold a grudge. I’m not trying to be greedy Dean, I will take whatever you feel you can give. I know you have your own family to think about now, and you want to do what’s best for them. You did the responsible thing and got a good job, something I didn’t have the nerve to do because I didn’t want to answer to anyone. You know what is truly important - the health, safety, and welfare of your loved-ones. And I’m proud of you for that, son. Tell your mother and your brother that I’m sorry. And thank Bobby for me. For everything._  
  
_I have a better son than I deserve with you. I’ll never be able to make it up to you or to put it right, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry Dean, because I love you. And I hope one day you can believe that. I hope your family has a Merry Christmas._  
  
_Love,_  
_Dad._  
  
    Dean took an unsteady breath as he folded up the letter and slid it back into the envelope, looking down into the cardboard box of gifts. Sam was still holding tightly to his arm. Dean took another deep breath, easier this time, and wiped the tears from his cheeks.  
  
    “From dad,” he said, turning to his mom. “He say’s Merry Christmas...”  
  
    Mary frowned, holding out her hand.  
  
    “Give me the letter,” she said firmly. “What else does he say.”  
  
    “It’s not important right now,” Dean replied, folding the letter in half and placing it in his pocket. “It’s Christmas. We’ll worry about the rest tomorrow.” he pulled the cardboard box toward himself, reaching in and taking out the first gift. “Here, Jess.”  
  
    Jess looked uneasily from Mary to Sam before taking the small box. Dean handed the next to Mary and one to Sam. He picked up the gift labeled “Castiel” and held it out to the Angel.  
  
    “You don’t have to accept it, if you don’t want to,” Dean told him. Castiel looked evenly into Dean’s wet eyes and took the package from his hand, setting down at the end of the table. Dean ignored everyone else as he took the gift in the box that was meant for him, unwrapping it quickly as if it would settle his stomach the less he had to think about it. Inside the box was a neat handgun servicing kit containing all the tools and equipment he would need to keep his bureau issued handgun in top working order. There was a note attached to it that simply stated 'stay safe'.  
  
    Sam followed Dean’s lead, opening his present - albeit grudgingly - while Jessica did the same. Sam received a manual on interrogation and interview techniques, and Jess a corded necklace with protective symbols burned in to the leather. Dean turned to Cas who was staring down at the item in his hands. He leaned over the Angel’s shoulder to see the small metal plate he was turning over in his palm.  
  
    “What is it?” Castiel asked, looking up at his husband. Dean smirked, running his thumb over the polished steel.  
  
    “It goes over the buckle on your belt,” he explained. “To make it look fancy... it’s nice.”  
  
    “Oh,” Cas spoke, taking the belt buckle back from Dean and looking down at the raised script. It said ‘Winchester’. “It’s nice.”  
  
    The gift to the baby was a set of stacking rings that Mary commented was one of Dean’s favorites when he was a child. The boys didn’t get to see what was in her gift, as she elected not to open it right away.  
  
    Sam and Jessica realized that they were running behind schedule, and the group returned to the yard to help them pack their car and say goodbye. Sam hugged Dean extra tightly before letting him go and getting in the car.  
  
    Everyone did their best to put John Winchester's interruption to their day out of their minds. After seeing off Jess and Sam, the group had a relaxing day at home. Both Bobby and Dean fell asleep in the living room in the middle of a sporting game that Mary and Cas were ignoring as she taught him how to knit.  
  
    Around six, Dean called Jimmy to wish him and his family a merry Christmas and to see if they liked the gifts he and Cas sent, and to thank them for the ones they received. Jimmy stressed to him for a total of twenty minutes of his nervousness over his telephone interview with Director Dreskal for the administrative job, but Dean only chuckled and reminded him that if a high school drop-out with nothing but a GED could get into the FBI, there was no reason he couldn’t.  
  
    After dinner, when he and Cas had put the baby to bed and said their goodnights to Mary and Bobby, Dean snuggled in behind Cas who had just started to complain of a slight nauseated feeling. He kept his hand on the Angel’s belly, which seemed to help soothe him, and he received a text from Sam that simply said ‘she said yes’. Dean smiled, quickly texting back ‘hells yeah! Congrats’ before tucking the phone under his pillow.  
  
    Hands down, the best Christmas of his life.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Whoa whoa whoa,” Dean announced as they stepped out of the car and he looked at the sign above the building. “Is... is this a strip club?” he asked.  
> “It’s a restaurant-bar... slash, entertainment establishment,” Agent Greggs answered.  
> “Oh, come on,” Dean groaned, turning to Sam. “I’m married.”  
> “So am I,” Greggs laughed, throwing an arm around Dean’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ll lend you some singles. Your husband will never find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last update tonight. This is also one of my favorite chapters, so I hope that you all enjoy it. I like possessive, protective Dean. :) I hope you all do too. I may not get to update again until Thursday-ish.

    “That’s everything, Dean!”  
  
    Dean could hear his brother call from the first floor. Sam had been putting their luggage in the car, while he finished packing his carry-on bag.  
  
    “Thanks, Sam!” Dean called back, zipping up his bag and looking over to Cas who was setting on the end of the bed. “Well,” he sighed. “I guess it’s time to go...”  
  
    Cas took a deep breath and got to his feet. Dean walked over to him, wrapping him in his arms.  
  
    “Well Angel,” he spoke, pressing a kiss to the shorter man’s temple. “I’m going to miss you.”  
  
    “I’m going to miss you too, Dean,” Castiel replied, tightening his arms around his husband. “But, you’ll be home soon. I’m just sad that we won’t get to celebrate your birthday together.”  
  
    “It’s alright,” Dean told him, rubbing his back soothingly. “We’ll celebrate when I come back.” He pulled away slightly to look down at the Angel. Dean grinned, giving a wag of his eyebrows. “Think about me while I’m gone, hm?”  
  
    Cas blushed, dropping his eyes.  
  
    “Of course,”  
  
    Dean curled his finger beneath the Angel’s chin, lifting his face so he could kiss him goodbye. They shared several long, deep kisses before the hunter reluctantly pulled away. He touched Cas’s cheek, his eyes looking over the other man’s face before he stepped back, taking the Angel’s hand and picking up his bag with the other.  
  
    The drive to the airport was short and uneventful, and Sam and Dean said their goodbye’s at the gate. Dean held his daughter until the last minute, kissing her chubby face before handing her over to her father.  
  
    “Have a safe trip,” Castiel spoke, wishing he could take away Dean’s anxiety about the flight.  
  
    “I will. I’ll call you when we land.” he leaned down and gave the Angel a quick kiss on the mouth. “You guys have a safe trip home.”  
  
    “We will,” Jess assured him, taking Cas’s arm. They waved goodbye, watching the brothers continue through the security checkpoint and disappear into the terminal.  
  
    Once on the plane, Sam put in his headphones and settled back into his seat. Dean grimaced, nervously changing position until they were in the air. He wasn’t miserable long, as their flight had a layover in Denver, so they were only in the air for close to an hour before they were once again on land. Once they stepped out into the airport, Dean pulled out his phone and dialed home.  
  
    “Hello, Dean,”  
  
    The Angel’s voice, and his daughter’s cooing in the background, brought a smile to Dean’s face.  
  
    “Hey baby,” he returned. “We’re in Denver. We got a layover of about an hour... so, we’ll be waiting.”  
  
    “I’m sorry you have to wait.... You’ll be there before you know it.”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean sighed. “Well, kiss the baby for me. I’ll talk to you when we hit DC. Love you.”  
  
    “I love you too, Dean,” Cas replied. “I’ll talk to you soon.”  
  
    Dean turned off his phone, pushing it down into his pocket. Sam game him a sympathetic look.  
  
    “I’m going to go get some water,” Sam told his brother. “You want anything?”  
  
    “Nah, I’m good,” Dean replied. “I’ll meet ya at the gate.”  
  
    Sam nodded, and Dean continued on through the airport, trying to find the gate for their connecting flight. As he made his way through the crowds of people, he thought he heard someone calling his name. He paused, looking around.  
  
    “Dean! Dean!”  
  
    A young boy emerged from the crowd and threw his arms around the hunter. Dean was taken aback, but returned the hug.  
      
    “Ben... what are you doing here?” he asked, surprised. “Where’s your mom?”  
  
    “Hi Dean,” Dean turned as Lisa approached, and he accepted her kiss on the cheek. “What are you doing in an airport?” she asked with an amused grin.  
  
    “I was just asking Ben that,” he replied. Lisa smiled, running a hand over her son’s hair.  
  
    “We were visiting my sister in Oregon. We’re just on our way to our connecting flight, but we have a but of a layover first.”  
  
    Dean nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
    “I’m on my way to a connection as well. Sam and I are headed out east for work.”  
  
    “Work,” Lisa repeated, a slightly amused expression on her face. They found a couple seats in front of a row of terminals and sat down.  
  
    “You should come home with us Dean,” Ben spoke excitedly. “My friend’s dad is building him a motorbike. Could you help me build one? I’ve been saving up my allowance.”  
  
    “God, I’d love to, kiddo,” Dean told him, and there was a bit of pain in his face that Lisa could see. “But I’ve got to work. I wish I could.”  
  
    Ben looked disappointed. Dean ruffled his hair, affectionately.  
  
    “Maybe some other time?” he spoke softly.  
  
    “Hey,” Sam interrupted, grinning at Lisa and Ben. “Funny meeting you here.”  
  
    “That’s what we were just talking about,” Dean told him. Sam could see the uncomfortable look on his brother’s face, so he tried to run some interference. He turned to Ben.  
  
    “Hey Ben,” he spoke. “there’s a really cool pizza shop over there. You want to go play some video games with me? They have ‘zombie shoot-out’.”  
  
    Ben looked uncertain, but Lisa reached into her wallet to pull out some money.  
  
    “No, I got it,” Sam insisted.  
  
    “Are you sure?” Lisa asked. Sam nodded. She smiled at him and took her son’s hand. “Go ahead and go with Sam, honey. Dean and I will be right here.”  
  
    “Okay,” Ben replied. Sam gave his brother a significant look before he turned and followed the boy back toward the food court. Dean and Lisa watched them go.  
  
    “So,” Lisa spoke, turning back to Dean. “Work?”  
  
    Dean gave a self-conscious laugh, nodding.  
  
    “Believe it or not,” he said,  “A legit, nine-to-fiver.”  
  
    Lisa leaned back, looking at Dean with scrutiny.  
  
    “Really?” she asked. Dean blushed, running a hand through his hair.  
  
    “Well, eight-to-four, really.” he amended. They were quiet a moment before Dean sighed. “A lot has changed for me, Lis,” he admitted. “I should have called you. But, since the last time I saw you... things have just sort have...been a little...”  
  
    “Dean,” she said softly, taking his hand in hers. “It’s okay.”  
  
    Dean gave her weak smile, before dropping his gaze to follow hers. She was looking down at his hand that she was holding in her own. Lisa ran a slim finger over his cobalt blue wedding band.  
  
    “Wow,” she said softly, looking back up into his face. “Wow. That _is_ a lot of change.”  
  
    “That’s not all,” Dean told her, taking his phone from his pocket and opening his photo album to a picture of him holding his baby girl. He handed the phone to her.  
  
    “Wow,” she repeated. “Dean this...” she shook her head, handing the phone back. “Congratulations. She’s beautiful.”  
  
    “She’s a miracle,” Dean commented, scrolling through the photos until he landed on one in particular. He handed the phone back over. “I should have invited you to the wedding...”  
  
    Lisa looked down at the photo of Dean, looking incredibly handsome and happy in his dark suit, holding his daughter in one arm while he had the other wrapped around the tall, dark-haired Angel at his side. Castiel had the same infectiously happy smile, however it was slightly shy, but he too looked incredibly handsome in his grey suit. With the baby situated between the two men, it was impossible to miss that she had Dean’s dark-honey blonde hair and freckles, and Castiel’s bright blue eyes and pouty mouth.  
  
    Lisa looked up at Dean with confusion plain on her face.  
  
    “You married... Castiel?” she asked. “And the baby...?”  
  
    “Our daughter, Mary,” Dean explained. “She just about twenty-six weeks old.” he flipped through the photos, showing the multitude of pictures of the pretty baby. He paused, slightly embarrassed, at a picture of Cas holding Mary when she was just a little over a month old. She was dressed in nothing but a diaper, and lay sleeping against her father’s bare chest. Castiel was tousle-haired and tired looking, when he was still completely human. But he looked handsome and happy, and there was such love in his eyes the way he was looking at the person taking the photo. Lisa took the phone back from him and scrutinized the picture.  
  
    “I’m so happy for you, Dean,” she said, honestly. “This is... this is amazing. Castiel is such a sweet man. I really enjoyed meeting him last time.... and now that you have a family... this is wonderful. I mean, I don’t understand _how_ ,” she laughed. “But this if great.”  
  
    “Well,” Dean laughed. “I’m not sure I understand it, either. But, uh... we got another one on the way... due in August.”  
  
    Lisa laughed loudly, throwing back her head in amusement. Dean chuckled, looking back down at his phone and continuing to flip through the photos.  
  
    “Making up for lost time I suppose,” Lisa said when her amusement died down. “Wow, Dean. I’m - well, stunned, first of all. But, happy for you. You look really happy. You deserve it.”  
  
    “Thank you,” Dean replied, sincerely.  
  
    The two continued to chat about their current lives until Sam and Ben returned from their games. An announcement sounded over head, requesting the passengers for the flight to Washington DC report for boarding.  
  
    “Well, that’s us.” Sam announced. Lisa stood when Dean did, and they hugged each other.  
  
    “Take care, Dean,” she told him. “And congratulations. Keep in touch. I want to know if it’s a boy or a girl.”  
  
    “Deal,” Dean told her. He turned to Ben. “Be good for you mom, okay?”  
  
    “Okay,”  
  
    Dean hugged the boy as well, and he and Sam said goodbye once more before turning and heading toward their gate. Dean pulled out his phone and quickly punched in a text message, knowing that he’d have to turn it off once they were in the air.  
  
_I love you, baby_  
  
    It was only seconds before his phone buzzed in reply.  
  
_I love you too, Dean. And I already miss you._  
  
    Dean smiled, tucking the phone in his pocket and noticing Sam was grinning at him.  
  
    “What?” Dean asked, flushing slightly.  
  
    Same chuckled, but didn’t reply. Instead, he motioned behind them with his head.  
  
    “Was that okay?” he asked. Dean shrugged.  
  
    “A little awkward at first. But... okay. She’s a good girl. I mean, we’re still friends.”  
  
    “That’s good,” Sam said, nodding. “And how’s Cas doing?”  
  
    “Shut up,” Dean grumbled, handing the flight attendant his boarding pass and moving down the tunnelway to the plane. Sam quickened his pace to keep up.  
  
    “Oh Dean,” he laughed, slapping his brother on the back. “This is going to be a long six weeks...”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    The weeks _were_ exceptionally long. Once Dean and Sam checked in to their hotel and checked in to the training facility, time seemed to stretch out before them. Every day the first week was an eight hour class in FBI procedure and law. Just to show team spirit, they got together with their fellow agent classmates on the weekend for dinner. The second week was more of the same, with a test on Friday over the things they learned. Both boys were happy to find out on Monday that they passed with flying colors. The third week got moderately more interesting with classes on weaponry and hand-to-hand combat, which Sam and Dean both excelled at, but Dean was still counting the days.  
  
    Wednesday after class, Dean and Sam had dinner together in Sam’s room and watched some TV. It felt like old times, and for some reason made both of them uncomfortable. Dean gave his brother a hug goodnight, and retreated to his own room, dialing Cas’s number before he was even to his own door.  
  
    “Hello Dean,” Castiel answered, and his voice alone made Dean smile.  
  
    “Hey baby,” Dean returned, kicking off his shoes and locking his door. “What’cha up to?”  
  
    “I’m rocking the baby,” Cas told him, looking down at their daughter in his arms. “She is very fussy tonight.”  
  
    Dean looked at his watch.  
  
    “It’s only... seven o’clock there, right?” he asked. “Is it a bad time?”  
  
    “It’s never a bad time to talk to you, Dean,” Cas told him, rising from the rocking chair and carrying the baby to the crib. “How was your day?”  
  
    Dean sighed, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off.  
  
    “Long.” he answered. “Very long. But, this week is almost over, and then in three more week’s I’ll be home.” he could hear Castiel’s gentle sigh.  
  
    “I can’t wait,”  
  
    Dean smiled, holding the phone against his ear as he thought about the man on the other end of the line.  
  
    “I miss you,” he spoke quietly. Castiel smiled. “How’ve you been feeling? Any more nausea?”  
  
    “Just a little,” Cas told him, unconsciously dropping a hand to his stomach and rubbing his palm over his abdomen. “It’s not as often though. Jessica is taking good care of me. I’m enjoying our time together. I’ve read the gardening book. I can’t wait until spring.” Dean smiled. Castiel continued. “Jessica bought a baby book, ‘just out of curiosity’ she said. If you consider this pregnancy in human terms, I will be ten weeks this weekend and our baby’s heartbeat would be audible.”  
  
    Dean’s smile softened and he sat back on the bed.  
  
    “I miss you, Cas,” he spoke again, “Baby, I can’t wait to get home and have you in my arms.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, holding the phone tightly to his ear.  
  
    “I like the sound of that,” he agreed.  
  
    Dean smirked, licking his lips and catching his lower lip between his teeth as he thought about what he wanted to say.  
  
    “... what are you wearing?”  
  
    Castiel’s brow furrowed and he tilted his head to the side.  
  
    “What?” he asked. Dean gave a soft huff of laughter.  
  
    “What are you wearing?” he repeated. “Clothes. What do you got on?”  
  
    Castiel looked down at himself.  
  
    “Tan pants and a blue shirt with long sleeves,” he replied. Dean leaned back against the headboard, his smirk widening.  
  
    “Are you somewhere you can take them off?” Castiel was hesitant before responding.  
  
    “... I’m in our room now,” Cas told him. “Why would I take my clothes off?”  
  
    Dean chuckled, hand stilling on his belt.  
  
    “No reason... I’m just teasing...”  
  
    Castiel smiled fondly, settling onto the bed and leaning back against the headboard. They were quiet a moment, simply listening to the other breathe.  
  
    “It’s lonely in bed,” Castiel spoke softly, “without you here. I sleep in the middle of the bed. Twice I’ve fallen asleep on the couch...”  
  
    “Don’t do that babe,” Dean spoke, his brow furrowing in concern. “You need to get to bed at a decent time. In pajamas. In bed. Or better yet,” he said, and Castiel could almost see his leering grin. “Go to bed a little early, take a steaming hot shower, get in bed without a lick of clothing on, and call my name when you make yourself come. You should be good an’ tired by then.”  
  
    “Dean,” Castiel laughed softly, his skin blushing hot. “Honestly...”  
  
    “That’s what I do,” Dean told him. “Well, sometimes I don’t make it out of the shower.”  
  
    “Really?” Castiel asked, switching the phone to his other ear. The one he was currently using felt sore from the pressure of the device. “You... you’ve been thinking about me... like that?”  
  
    “Are you kidding?” Dean asked. “I’m thinking about you like that right now! I mean, I love you and I’m missing just being near you like crazy. But, babe, I’d be lying if I said my body isn’t wrecked missing yours.” he raised an eyebrow. “You telling me you aren’t thinking of me?”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment, and his voice was soft when he spoke.  
  
    “Of course I think about you,” he admitted. “But... It’s... difficult.” his voice sounded so frustrated when he continued. “I’m not trying to be spoiled, but... I miss you. I want you. We waited too long to be together and now... I just want to be with you.”  
  
    “Three and a half weeks, Cas,” was all Dean could say to soothe him.  
  
    “I know,” Castiel replied, dropping a hand to rub his stomach. Dean could feel a shift in his breathing, and the soft grunt that punctuated the silence.  
  
    “You alright?” he asked.  
  
    “Yes,” Cas answered with a sigh. “My... my skin is tight and itchy.”  
  
    “Lotion,” Dean suggested. Castiel gave a huff of laughter.  
  
    “Yes,” he answered. “I’ll do that. You should get some sleep, Dean. You have class tomorrow.”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean sighed. “You get some sleep too. No sleeping on the couch. I’ll call tomorrow. I love you,”  
  
    “I love you too, Dean,” Castiel assured him.  
  
    “Kiss the baby for me,” Dean added.  
  
    “I will. Good night.”  
  
    “Good night, buddy.”  
  
    Dean pulled the phone from his ear, sighing as he ended the call. He worried about Cas. He was right, they had waited too long to be together and now it just plain sucked to be apart.  
  
    With another sigh, Dean pulled himself from the bed and trudged to the bathroom. After washing up, and stripping down to his boxers, he pulled on a pair of sleep pants and a soft cotton t-shirt before climbing into the bed. He too found that he gravitated toward the middle of the bed now that he was in it alone.  
  
    Dean punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape, and pulled the extra one into his arms. He wasn’t happy about it, but in time, he was able to fall asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Two days later, Dean’s classmates somehow found out that his birthday was the next week, and forced him to go out to dinner with them. Dean tried to beg off, stating he was an old man now, but as one of his fellow agents pointed out - thirty three was far from old. Dean hoped Sam would help him out of this bind, but Sam actually felt a night out would do both of them some good.  
  
    “I think Sam’s right,” Castiel spoke, holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he folded a basket of towels. “You two used to get out a lot, any you haven’t don’t anything like that since... since we’ve been married.”  
  
    “I have better things to do now,” Dean said grumpily as he changed out of his suit and into a pair of dark washed jeans and a plain black button down shirt.  
  
    “You’ll be fine,” Castiel assured him.  
  
    “Yeah?” Dean frowned. “What are you doing tonight?”  
  
    “Jessica and I went to an electronics store this morning and got a movie, and she got us popcorn and boxes of candy to eat while we watch.”  
  
    “Sounds awesome,” Dean agreed. “What movie?”  
  
    “Something about flowers,” Castiel replied. “I’m not sure. She said she wanted to watch it with me because she didn’t think Sam would watch it while he lives under your roof and it’s one of her favorites.”  
  
    “A chick flick,” Dean guessed. Castiel chuckled.  
  
    “I don’t mind,” he insisted. “Jessica has been very kind to me. I asked her for lotion and she took me to the store and bought me something especially for... what I would need.”  
  
    “There is something other than regular lotion?” Dean asked, grimacing. Castiel sat back on the sofa, readjusting the phone and dropping a hand to his stomach.  
  
    “Yes,” he told his husband. “There is a oil lotion that is particularly for... stretching skin.”  
  
    Dean was quiet a moment. He felt his mouth go slightly dry, and he licked his lips before speaking.  
  
    “You having trouble with that?”  
  
    “I have a concentration of grace growing in my abdomen, Dean,” he said softly, feeling a slight prickle of embarrassment tingling on his neck. “Gabriel warned us this may happen....” he paused a moment before continuing. “Does that bother you?”  
  
    “No,” Dean answered immediately, without hesitation. That made Castiel feel better, but he felt even better by what Dean said next. “I’m just excited to see the change... see that... I put a baby in you.”  
  
    Castiel chuckled, blushing.  
  
    “Well, even if you can’t tell by looking at me,” Cas told him. “I certainly feel it.”  
  
    The warm, contentedly happy sound in Castiel’s voice filled Dean with the overwhelming desire to wrap him in his arms.  
  
    “Well, I better get outta here so I can get back,” Dean told him. “I’m gonna call you when I get back, okay?”  
  
    “I’ll wait up,” Castiel assured him.  
  
    “Ooh, you better,” Dean told him. “Bye, baby.”  
  
    “Bye, Dean.”  
  
    Dean stashed his phone in his jacket pocket and left the room to meet up with Sam and some of his classmates in the lobby. One of the Agents, Greggs - no one called anyone by their first name except for Sam, since Dean was known as ‘Winchester’ - told the group of a local place that had the most amazing Friday night dinner specials. So they piled into two rental cars and in twenty minutes pulled up outside of an establishment called “Calypso”.  
  
    “Whoa whoa whoa,” Dean announced as they stepped out of the car and he looked at the sign above the building. “Is... is this a strip club?” he asked. Greggs laughed, shaking her head.  
  
    “It’s a restaurant-bar... slash, entertainment establishment,” she answered.  
  
    “Oh, come on,” Dean groaned, turning to Sam. “I’m married.”  
  
    “So am I,” Greggs laughed, throwing an arm around Dean’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ll lend you some singles. Your husband will never find out.”  
  
    Dean could hear Sam chuckling and he scowled back at him, and he was lead reluctantly into the bar. It was everything he remembered - loud music, lots of chatter, and scantily clad waitresses. Dean hadn’t been in a place like this since he started seeing Castiel, and it felt weird and out of place to him now. Not that he was no longer attracted to women, but this just felt somehow disrespectful to the Angel and their relationship.  
  
    “Let’s get a table down by the stage,” he could hear Greggs call back, and Dean rolled his eyes. Sam gave him a clap on the back.  
  
    “You’ll be fine,” he insisted. “It’s just dinner. You don’t have to tip anyone.”  
  
    Dean continued to scowl at his brother as the group was led through the sea of tables to an open one down by the stage. There was a girl in a sexy cowgirl costume working the pole by their table, and she winked at Dean. He gave a nervous nod of his head in greeting, picking the chair farthest from the stage. Unfortunately, the chair farthest from the stage was the only one outright facing it.  
  
    “What can I get you boys tonight?” the waitress asked, tapping the end of her pen suggestively against her mouth.  
  
    “Whiskey,” Dean said immediately. “neat.”  
  
    The others ordered beer, and Sam ordered water. When the drinks came, Dean ordered his dinner without asking if the others were ready; the sooner they got their food, the sooner they could get out of there. In his nervousness, the first tumbler of whiskey went down quickly, and the second was added seamlessly to the table with a motion to the waitress from Greggs. With two drinks warming his belly, Dean relaxed into this seat, listening to the conversations at the table, adding his own comments now and again when it seemed appropriate. Once or twice his eyes strayed up to the stage where a new girl, dressed in the skimpiest school girl uniform he’d ever seen, was rolling her hips as she slid her plaid skirt down over he curve of her ass, revealing a hot pink thong.  
  
    Dean frowned, dropping his gaze back to his drink. That was somebody’s daughter up there, and she was taking off her clothes so horny, middle aged men eating chicken wings could put dollar bills in her underwear. He felt an odd sense of shame, trying to remember what he saw in these activities when he indulged in them those years ago. Maybe it was because he was younger then. Maybe it was because he was a father now. Maybe it was because he had a smoking hot husband at home who knew how to make him forget his own name.  
  
    While the atmosphere wasn’t the best, the steak was nice and rare and the potatoes creamy and filling, and the beer that came with it was cold. By the time the meal was over, Dean was feeling warm and full and pleasantly buzzed. Sometime after the third beer, four waitresses brought over a single slice of apple pie with a candle in it and sang happy birthday to Dean. He blushed, thanking them and gave threatening looks to his classmates. They laughed and cheered him on. He wasn’t halfway through the pie when the cowgirl from earlier in the night came around his chair to inform his that his buddies had purchased him a birthday lap-dance.  
  
    Dean tried to back away, politely declining the offer, but unfortunately pushed his chair far enough away from the table that the dancer was able to maneuver herself over his legs and began to sway her hips and toss her hair, so Dean just paused still, his arms poised upright as if he were being held up.  
  
    It had been a long, long time since he was this close to a woman - well, a woman acting in a sexual way toward him. He shifted uncomfortably, unable to avoid the eye full of large breasts and rounded hips and long, flowing hair that was currently grinding and swaying in his lap. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, as if he would see this nubile young woman and go into a heterosexual-starved frenzy. But, he found that instead it made him more appreciative of Cas’s sharp angles, muscular lines, and soft skin covered in dark hair. No matter how much this young girl licked her full red lips or batted her mascaraed lashes, it couldn’t compare to how beautiful the Angel is just as he was, even first thing in the morning with grumpy, tired eyes and a jawful of scruff. Dean couldn’t help but grin a bit.  
  
    “You like this, sugar?” the girl purred, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck.  
  
    “I’d like another drink, if that’s possible,” he replied. She looked a little offended, but he handed her a twenty that improved her mood. She slipped off of his lap and strolled toward the bar. “I’m killing all of you,” Dean told the table with polite sincerity.  
  
    So he wouldn’t seem like a huge cry baby, Dean tried not to scowl and glower, kicking back another couple bottles before returning to whiskey. Sam watched him warily. Dean usually drank the hard stuff first, switching to beer when he wanted to stay sober. It was only the other way around when he wanted to get drunk.  
  
    As eleven pm approached, Sam made the announcement that he was ready to return and with some reluctance the group settled their tab and headed back to the rental cars. The waitresses gave a chorus of goodbye’s to Dean, calling him birthday boy and cutie, and Sam was sure he left with more than one phone number scribbled on a napkin and shoved into his pocket.  
  
    “So tell me, Winchester?” one of the agents, Kieler, spoke, turning in his seat to look back at Dean and Greggs who was sitting with him. “You seem to do amazing with the ladies. I have no doubt in my mind you could have gone home with any one of those sweet muffins back there.” Sam raised his eyebrows at the name, looking in the rear-view mirror and seeing that Dean had a similar expression. Kieler continued. “You mentioned you only ever dated chicks before you chose sausage over tacos for the rest of your life.”  
  
    “Classy,” Dean grumbled, looking back at the man with irritation.  
  
    Greggs shook her head, rolling her eyes.  
  
    “You’re disgusting, Kieler,” she commented. Kieler ignored her, and didn’t seem to get that Dean was not amused.  
  
    “So, what’s his deal?” he asked. “Is he like, a total sub? Lets you have your way with him, but he’s wicked in the sack?” he laughed obnoxiously. “I bet he’s got a pretty mouth.”  
  
    Dean’s eyes closed menacingly and Sam cleared his throat, loudly.  
  
    “The food there was really better than expected,” he announced, glancing into the rear-view again to check on his brother. Dean was looking out the window now. Kieler laughed.  
  
    “You had a fucking salad, Sam,” he pointed out. “How can they fuck up a salad?” he turned back to face Dean again. “You know what we should do tomorrow? DC is known for its clubs because it’s so full of politicians and diplomats - the fuckin’ perverts - anyway, there are some clubs just half hour from here that allow full nude dancers and they have special room for private dances, _if you know what I mean_.”  
  
    “We know what you mean,” Dean glowered.  
  
    Gratefully, Sam pulled the car to a stop in the parking lot of the hotel. Dean got out, walking around the font of the car. Sam saw the look on his face just a moment too late to get out of his seat any faster. Dean crowded in front of Kieler, preventing the man from stepping away from the vehicle.  
  
    “What’s up, Winchester?” Kieler said with laughter in his tone, but it had an underlying pulse of nervousness to it. Dean grinned at him, ignoring his little brother’s gentle call.  
  
    “You know Kieler,” he began, keeping the tight smile on his face. “I know we work in a legit, businessy job where we have to play nice, play grown-ups. But, I know guys like you. Been around ‘em all my life.” he said, waving a hand around. “You play fast and loose with your own morals, stepping out on your wife and laying down your spare cash with high dollar strippers and low dollar whores, and that’s fine.” he nodded. “Really, that’s fine.” Sam made a nervous motion, looking to Greggs. They both looked around the parking lot to see if anyone was watching. Dean leaned in to the other agent, his voice deepening an octave. “But if you bring up my husband one more time, you even think of mentioning my husband, you and I are going to have a little hand-to-hand combat lesson of our own, capiche?”  
  
    Kieler nodded, his face a mask of dumbstruck shock. Dean pushed him away, turning and stumbling toward the hotel. Sam took his arm.  
  
    “I’m fine,” Dean grumbled, pulling his arm away.  
  
    “Dean,” Sam hissed, looking back over his shoulder where the other Agents stood by the car, watching them walk away. “You could get in trouble for that!”  
  
    “Yeah, well,” Dean replied testily. “I can’t get in more trouble for defending my husband’s honor than he can whoring around DC...”  
  
    Sam ran a hand through his hair, and he took the room key that Dean was fumbling with and let him in the door. Dean kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off from over the t-shirt the wore underneath. He slumped into a chair at the small dining table and Sam poured him a glass of water. Dean took it and drank a mouthful.  
  
    “I ain’t going to let some piece of trash scum, colleague or not, talk about Cas like that. Not... not Cas,” Dean mumbled. “Not my Angel.”  
  
    “I know,” Sam said softly. “But, he doesn’t even know Cas. He was just running his mouth.”  
  
    Dean rubbed a hand over his face.  
  
    “Cas... “ he began, slowly. “Cas is a good guy. And I’m tired of people giving me shit for him being a man. As if there is some freaky secret and not just... not just ‘cause I fell in love with him. Like I’m some sort of depraved animal who only wants Cas for being ‘wicked in the sack’...”  
  
    “I know you love him,” Sam told him. “I know how much you love him.”  
  
    Dean was quiet a moment, before he shook his head.  
  
    “Not that Cas isn’t great in bed, Sammy,” he said with a self-conscious laugh. “Because he is _pret-ty_ damn amazing.”  
  
    “Yeah, okay Dean,” Sam insisted. “I... I get it. I know. Drink some more water.”  
  
    “But Cas is a good man, he’s a good Angel Sam,” Dean told him seriously. “Cas loves me. Cas... Cas had never... just with me. And I adore him. I miss him...”  
  
    Sam was quiet, watching his brother. Dean took out his phone, looking at it a moment.  
  
    “I’m gonna call my husband, Sammy,” he said, rising to his feet. “And say goodnight.”  
  
    Sam nodded, rising as well. He let Dean embrace him, thumping him on the back in return.  
  
    “Goodnight Dean,” He said. “Get some sleep. It’s been some time since you’ve drank that much. Be sure to get your clothes off before you get in bed.”  
  
    Dean shuffled with him to the door, nodding in agreement.  
  
    “I know. It’was stupid. I’m not as young as I used to be...” he gave a sort of laughter and Sam chuckled. “Good night, Sammy.”  
  
    Sam regarded his brother with concern a moment before he nodded.  
  
    “Night, Dean.”  
  
    Dean shut the door behind his brother, locking both locks after. He selected Cas’s name from the contact list and it only rang twice before the line connected and Dean practically sighed.  
  
    “Hello Dean,”  
  
    “Hey baby,” Dean purred, clicking off the overhead light and leaving the room cast in nothing but the soft glow of the bedside lamp. “What’re you up to?”  
  
    “I’m in bed,” Castiel replied. “It’s eight forty five. I just put the baby down about ten minutes ago. I kissed her for you.”  
  
    “Aww,” Dean said, slipping his belt off and unbuttoning his pants. “She still fussy?”  
  
    “I think she’s just teething,” Cas said, closing the magazine he had been reading and laying it on the nightstand. “And she misses her daddy and uncle Sam.”  
  
    “I miss her, too,” Dean told him, slipping out of his pants. He pulled back the sheets and got in bed in his boxers and t-shirt. “Three more weeks...”  
  
    “I’m counting the days,” Cas told him. Dean grinned.  
      
    “How was your movie night?” he asked. He could hear Castiel shift and sigh.  
  
    “The movie was sad,” he admitted. “It started out happy, about a young girl’s wedding. But she get’s ill and then she dies. It was sad, Dean. Jessica cried.” he shook his head. “I’m not sure why she likes that movie.”  
  
    “Me either,” Dean admitted, settling back against the headboard. “You okay?”  
  
    “It was sad, but I’m okay.” the Angel admitted. “And how was your evening? Did you go out to dinner?”  
  
    Dean was now the one shifting, he cleared his throat.  
  
    “The food was good. The company was crap. I’d have rather been at home, eating something you made me. And I’d certainly rather be at home in bed with you right now than in this cold hotel bed by myself.”  
  
    “Your not by yourself Dean,” Castiel spoke softly, snuggling back into the pillows. “I’m right here with you.”  
  
    Dean groaned, closing his eyes and listening to the Angel’s soft breathing.  
  
    “I want you so bad right now,” he spoke, his voice deep and husky from desire and inebriation. “God Cas, I want you. If you were just here with me...”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment, his eyes sliding closed as he could feel the warmth of arousal spreading through his belly.  
  
    “What... what would you do with me, Dean?” he asked. He could hear Dean groan, low and rough.  
  
    “Oh Angel...” Dean spoke, reaching down to press his hand against the persistent erection between his legs. “What wouldn’t I do to you.” Castiel made a small sound of acknowledgement, something between a sigh and a moan. Dean’s hand changed from pressing, to absently stroking himself through the thin cotton of his boxers. “You... you with me Cas?”  
  
    Castiel licked his lips, his hand dropping to rest on his thigh. He nodded, despite Dean’s inability to see him.  
  
    “Yes Dean,” he spoke softly. “I am.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Sometime after bringing himself off to Castiel’s deeply quiet words of encouragement, and a sappy, blissed-out exchange of goodnights, Dean fell asleep with his phone still on his pillow and boxers around his thighs. He slept hard, alcohol and sexual release a potent combination to keep him unconscious for eight hours.  
  
    Dean woke just after nine, his head throbbing. He fumbled with his boxers, deciding to strip them off instead of bothering to pull them on only to take them back off to wash. He guzzled a glass of water before taking a quick shower. He felt like crap, his mouth sticky and his stomach twisted and his legs a little bit like jell-o. He had just finished brushing his teeth, contemplating shaving off the last two days worth of stubble when a metallic jingle filled the air. Dean pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt before moving into the other room and opening his laptop. The video chat app was ringing, and a grin spread across his face as he saw the screen name of the caller.  
  
_Cas Winchester calling_  
  
    Dean connected to the call and instantly the screen filled with the image of Castiel holding little Mary in his arms.  
  
    “Hello, Dean,” Cas spoke, smiling as he helped Mary up to see her father on the screen. “I hope you slept well.”  
  
    “Hey baby. Thanks, I did.” Dean smiled in return, blushing. He reached out and touched the image of his daughter’s face. “Hey sweetheart.”  
  
    Mary cooed and gurgled as she reached toward the screen, and Dean laughed as it was jostled from Castiel trying to keep it out of her reach.  
  
    “You on your tablet?” Dean asked. The image shifted dramatically, and Mary cried in protest before it centered back on father and daughter, but just a foot further back.  
  
    “Yes,” Cas replied, adjusting Mary in his arms so she was setting in his lap facing the screen. “She misses you, and would like to consume you, apparently.” Dean chuckled, shaking his head. “You look tired,” Castiel observed.  
  
    “I’m old,” Dean replied with a shrug. “I’m an old man now.”  
  
    Castiel’s smile was slightly amused, but patient.  
  
    “Your birthday isn’t for four more days. You are centuries younger than I am,” he replied. “But I will still love you when you are four times this age.” Dean shook his head, running a hand through his hair and down over his face.  
  
    “Maybe I just look tired because I have to shave. I was just about to when you called.”  
  
    Castiel’s eyes narrowed and he tilted his head slightly as he considered.  
  
    “Oh,” he simply said. Dean’s brow creased.  
  
    “What?” he asked, running a hand over his jaw. Castiel shrugged.  
  
    “It looks like you haven’t shaved in several days,” he commented. “... I wonder what it feels like...”  
  
    Dean gave a small huff of laughter.  
  
    “It’s a bit scratchy,” he replied. Castiel only tilted his head.  
  
    “...I’d like to feel for myself.”  
  
    Dean was quiet for a moment, watching Cas staring back at him.  
  
    “I, uh,... I don’t have to shave it... I can just trim it up a bit...”  
  
    “I’d like that,” Castiel agreed, looking down at the baby in his lap. “Your father is quite handsome.” he told her. She giggled. Dean leaned back in his chair, grinning at his family, and possibly blushing just a bit. “So, what are you doing today?” Castiel asked him.  
  
    Dean sighed.  
  
    “I promised Sammy I’d go to a movie with him. Either Sherlock Holmes or Mission Impossible, so it hopefully won’t be too bad. But, I think he’s having a skype dinner with Jess, so...”  
  
    “I’d like to have dinner with you, Dean.” Cas insisted. “I’m sure Mary would like that as well.”  
  
    Dean grinned.  
  
    “I’d like that too, babe,”  
  
    Dean carried the laptop into the bathroom with him while he got some headache meds and trimmed his beard. Castiel gave him a commentary on all of the thing he and Jessica had been doing to pass the time, such as putting away the Christmas decorations, binge watching ‘sex in the city’, and experimenting with new recipes. Dean dressed and made a pot of coffee in his room, but Castiel insisted that he go have breakfast, reminding him that they would talk again later.  
  
    Dean was grumpy by the time he reached the dining room. A part of him knew it was stupid - he had everything he could ever want right now - but the larger part of him that insisted on being childish was crabby because for the first time in his life he would get to actually have a happy birthday, he was a thousand miles away from the one other person he wanted to spend it with.  
  
    Sam picked him up from his room around eleven, and the went to a matinee showing at the local theater. They stopped at a pub afterward for lunch and a celebratory beer, and Sam promised he wouldn’t make Dean go out again for the rest of the trip. The afternoon with Sam was pretty fun, and Dean was back in good spirits for the evening and his video chat dinner with Cas.  
  
    Classes started up again on Monday, and Wednesday morning Dean was awakened by the chiming of his laptop instead of the buzzing of his phone. He rolled out of bed and stumbled to the table, turning on the video application. The screen blinked to life and the image of Cas filled the screen. The Angel looked tired and half-asleep, but he smiled at the hunter.  
  
    “Happy birthday, Dean,” he spoke, his voice gruff.  
  
    “Thanks, baby,” Dean murmured, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “What time is it there? It’s six here, so that’s too damn early for you to be awake.”  
  
    “I wanted to speak with you before you had to get ready for work,” Castiel explained. “And tell you happy birthday...”  
  
    Dean grinned, sliding into a chair and turning the screen so he could see Cas properly. He sighed.  
  
    “Thanks, Cas.” he repeated, leaning his elbows on the table and staring at his husband’s face. They were both quiet a moment. “I miss you,” Dean said, softly. Castiel nodded in agreement.  
  
    “I miss you, too.”  
  
    Dean yawned, leaning back in his seat.  
  
    “How’re you feeling?”  
  
    Castiel mirrored his yawn, and he settled back against the headboard of the bed.  
  
    “Fine.”  
  
    Dean smirked.  
  
    “You’re not really awake this early because you were already up to puke out your guts, are you?”  
  
    Castiel’s expression became stony.  
  
    “Please don’t say puke,” he said, darkly. “Or allude to it in any way. But no, I am doing well so far today. So far.”  
  
    “Sorry,” Dean replied. “I hope it stays a good day for you. But, you should really get back in bed. Get a couple more hours before the baby wakes.”  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath and sighed.  
  
    “I will....” his eyes roamed over Dean’s face momentarily before he spoke again. “I hope you have a good day.”  
  
    “Thanks,” Dean said. “I wish I could kiss you goodbye.”  
  
    “Me as well,” Castiel assured him. They stared at each other a moment before Castiel spoke, his fingertips touching the screen as if caressing Dean’s cheek. “Happy birthday, my beloved Dean.”  
  
    Dean smiled, feeling a swell of affection for the other man.  
  
    “Thank you, babe.”    
  
    Both were reluctant to end the chat, but Dean waited until the Angel deactivated the connection and he set about getting ready for his day. He met with Sam for breakfast, and the younger man hugged him good morning and presented him with a gift. It was a leather, hardcover book of science fiction short stories.  
  
    “Thought it would give you something to keep your mind off Cas for about five minutes,” Sam laughed. “Since you read so fast.”  
  
    “Thanks, Sammy,” Dean said with a smile. He really did need something to distract him from the slow passage of time. “This is awesome.” he flipped through a couple of pages, scanning the titles in the index. “I haven’t read a lot of these... but it has several of my favorites.”  
  
    “I know,” Sam grinned, leaning on the table and watching his brother with a smile on his face. He knew how much his brother loved to read, but books were a luxury they couldn’t afford growing up. Books and movies were something Dean could treat himself to now, and Sam wanted to make sure that his brother knew that. He didn’t have to look out for and provide for everyone anymore, he could provide a little for himself too.    
  
    The brothers finished their meal and Sam was pleased that Dean had to force himself to close the book so they could go on to their class. When they returned to the hotel at four thirty, they were told Dean had a letter waiting at the front desk. It was from Cas.  
  
    Sam gave him a wide grin and told him he’d see him later, so Dean took the envelope and resisted opening it until he was in the safety of his room. It was a birthday card. On the cover was a picture of a birthday cake, bright and colorful with prismatic foil in the background. Inside the card simply said “Happy Birthday”. Dean let out a bark of laughter, a wave of nostalgia for his early relationship with Cas washing over him. There was also writing in the card, of course, in Castiel’s small, yet neat, handwriting.  
  
_Dean,_  
  
_Social convention indicates that I include a personal message with this card. I do hope that you receive this on your birthday and I hope that the whole day is happy and wonderful for you, for I cannot think of a more wondrous day in all of my father’s creation. The day this world was blessed with you, Dean, is the genesis for so many beautiful things. And I love you so very much._  
  
_With love,_  
_Castiel_  
  
    Dean smiled, a warm, happy feeling spreading through him. That dumb sonofabitch, making him all emotional, and happy, and married. He wanted to kiss the crap out of him for that.  
  
    He sat the card on the table beside his bed.  
  
    Dean order dinner to his room and met up with Cas on video chat, and they talked for an hour while Dean finished his meal. Dean thanked him for the card, and Cas was visibly happy and relieved to see that it had arrived. He showed Dean a present that he had waiting for his return, insisting that it wouldn’t have done him any good to ship it since it was not something Dean couldn’t use in DC. That piqued the hunters interest. Dean knew it was hours before Cas would be ready for bed, and he wasn’t anywhere near drunk enough to suggest video-sex (his ears were still burning from what he could remember from the Friday night), so with reluctance, he said his goodnights to the Angel  
  
    “It’s only three more weeks Dean,” Castiel said, supportively. “I love you.”  
  
    Dean sighed, giving a soft smile to the image of his husband on the screen. His eyes traveled over the Angel’s dark, wavy hair, the crease in his brow, the softness of his deep blue eyes and down to his lips before he nodded in agreement.  
  
    “Three weeks. Love you, Cas.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    But three weeks felt like three months. Time edged slowly by as Sam and Dean sat through class after class of droning lectures and powerpoint presentations. But time did move, and the last week was particularly horrific. Dean was ready to go home, and he hated waiting for the day he could finally pack his suitcases for good and get back on a plane (something he was surprised to know that he would ever wish for).  
  
    It was the final Wednesday of the training, and Dean was staring numbly at the screen as a senior agent detailed some policy or other about not torturing or coercing suspects (something to get used to, but Dean had a feeling it was frowned upon even without the lecture). His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, looking at it discreetly under the desk. It was a text from Jess.  
  
_Cas discovered something awesome this morning, and we thought you may want to see :D ..._  
  
    Dean frowned, his brows knitting together as he waited for the next message. The picture loaded in the next second. Dean felt his heart stop beating.  
  
    The picture was of Castiel. He was standing in the kitchen, obviously having just recently woke up. His hair was disheveled, his eyes squinting at the camera, and he was dressed in a pair of grey track pants and a blue t-shirt. His pants were setting low on his slim hips as they always did, but he had the end of the shirt pulled up to his breastbone. The once flat plane of his abs had a subtle swell to them, as if he had just eaten a _very_ large meal. Dean stared at the photo is disbelief, amazed at all of the feelings rushing through him. He was surprised when the phone buzzed again, twice. The next message was Jessica again.  
  
_Week 13. You happy, papa? :)_  
  
    Dean grinned, typed in a quick “You better fucking believe I am!” before turning to the next one. It was from Cas.  
  
_Is this okay? I miss you._  
  
    Dean’s smiled slipped a bit, but he typed a message in quickly, sending it in many parts to answer as quickly as possible.  
  
_It’s more than okay_  
  
_You are SO beautiful_  
  
_I miss you too_  
  
_You better not have any plans for this weekend AT ALL_  
  
    Dean glanced up to make sure he wasn’t disturbing anyone, but only Sam was watching him. His brother had a look of curiosity on his face. Dean brought the picture back up and passed his phone to Sam. Dean smiled widely at Sam’s grin, but Sam’s smile faded quickly and he passed the phone back. Dean looked down at it. A message from Cas had come in.  
  
_If you mean so we have plenty of time for sexual intercourse, I have not made any plans._  
  
    Dean almost choked on his laugh, which did attract some attention from the room.  
  
    “Sorry,” he spoke, thumping himself on the chest. “Went down the wrong pipe...”  
  
    When the class let out for break, Dean was the first into the hall and on his phone. Castiel answered on the second ring.  
  
    “Hello Dean,”  
  
    “What did Jess mean you just discovered that this morning?” he asked.  
  
    “Well,” Cas explained, and Dean could hear the kitchen chair move has the Angel sat. “It’s been happening so gradually... I don’t look at myself in the full mirror very often. But the last couple of days my clothes felt a little uncomfortable, and this morning when I woke up, I happened to look at the mirror...”  
  
    Dean sighed, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.  
  
    “Well, you look amazing babe,” he insisted. “Just... Oh Cas...”  
  
    Castiel closed his eyes and pressed the phone to his ear. Jessica smiled across the table at him.  
  
    “Three more days, Dean,” Castiel told him.  
  
    Three more days.  
  
    But now Dean was twice as antsy to get home. His conversations with Cas at night were twice as long, and on Friday night Dean put the phone on speaker as he put all of his belongings back into his suitcases. He was as neat as possible, knowing that it was probably Cas who would be the one sorting through the laundry when he got home.  
  
    “You coming to the airport to pick us up?” Dean asked, placing his suit jackets neatly back into the garment bag.  
  
    “Of course,” Castiel replied. “Unless you would prefer I’d stay at home.”      
  
    Dean grinned.  
  
    “Well, I’m not too happy about attacking you in a public place, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”  
  
    Castiel’s deep chuckle was like music.  
  
    “I think you can contain yourself for twenty minutes for us to get through the airport and back to the car.”  
  
    Dean gave a snort of derision.  
  
    “Say’s you,” he groaned. “oh baby, I can’t wait to get home to you. I miss you and Mary so much it’s crazy.”  
  
    “Well, it’s only hours now,” Castiel told him. “One last night alone...”  
  
    Dean didn’t sleep much that night, which was fine considering that his flight was at the ass-crack of dawn. He and Sam were on the plane before Jessica and Cas were even out of bed on the west coast. Sam could understand Dean’s desire to get home, but he was amused by his brother’s distracted behavior. Dean even forgot to complain about the flight.  
  
    When the captain came over the PA to announce their descent into San Jose, Dean sat up straighter and leaned past Sam to look out of the window. He could barely contain himself when they were finally allowed to remove their seatbelts and begin gathering their bags.  
  
    “Are you freaking kidding me,” Dean grumbled under his breath as he waited for the line of people in the isle to begin moving. As soon as they would shuffle forward a step or two, someone else would start pulling items from the overhead compartments and pause the forward momentum. Finally, they hit the tunnelway and Sam was lucky he had a long stride to keep up with his brother’s swift steps.  
  
    “Sam!!”  
  
    Jessica was bouncing where she stood, waving a hand over her head. Sam quickened his pace and she leapt into his arms, kissing him enthusiastically.  
  
    “Where’s Cas?” Dean asked, when they separated. Sam put Jess back on her feet, and she grinned up at the other hunter.  
  
    “We were running late because of an accident on the highway,” she began. “And as soon as we got here, Mary needed to be changed, so Cas stopped at one of the family restrooms just down the way. I got here literally as your plane started to deboard.”  
  
    “Oh,” Dean replied, trying not to frown. His heart was trying to leap out of his chest, but he ignored the sensation. Jessica’s grin grew wider, and she reached up to scratch playfully at Dean’s jaw.  
  
    “Good thing I got here first,” she said. “I doubt he’d recognize you.”  
  
    “Yeah,” Sam laughed. “I brought home Grizzly Adams instead.”  
  
    “Shut up,” Dean grumbled. He wasn’t about to admit he’d not shaved and meticulously maintained his scruffy appearance at the request of said Angel.  
  
    “There he is,” Sam said, nudging Dean and pointing. Dean felt his mouth go dry. Cas was walking toward them, holding Mary in his arms. He was dressed in dark slacks and a burgundy colored sweater and, damnitall, his baggy trenchcoat. He had the diaper bag slung over one shoulder and he looked slightly bedraggled, as if his morning hadn’t gone as smoothly as he’d have liked. But when his gaze landed on Dean, he smiled, his eyes suddenly looking a lot less tired.  
  
    Dean dropped his carryon bag at Sam’s feet and walked to meet his husband half way.  
  
    “Dean,” the Angel spoke, before the hunter wrapped an arm around him and covered the rest of his words with a kiss. The arm that Cas wasn’t using to hold the baby slid around his husband and he closed his fist in Dean’s coat.  
  
    “Hey, Cas,” Dean greeted, when they broke. He blushed slightly, looking around them at the throngs of people passing before he turned his attention to the baby between them. “Hey baby girl!” he said, taking her from Castiel’s arms. “D’jyou miss your papa?”  
  
    Mary stared up at him with wide, confused eyes. It reminded him of the first time she was aware she was being held by Jimmy and not Cas. Dean smoothed a hand over her hair and kissed the top of her head.  
  
    “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” He looked from Cas to Jessica. “God, you don’t think she’s forgotten me, do you?”  
  
    Castiel smiled softly.  
  
    “She clearly recognizes your voice,” he replied. “But, I think she’s just a little confused by your face.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, taking hold of Mary’s hand and bringing it to his chin.  
  
    “It’s still your papa, Mare,” he told her. Sam and Jessica laughed, moving past the family toward the luggage carousel. Dean frowned, looking down into his daughter’s concerned face. “Well damnit, I guess I’m shaving.” he said, beginning to follow them. Castiel lay a gentle hand on his back.  
  
    “Tomorrow,” he said softly, causing Dean to look down at him. “...not tonight,”  
  
    The hunter grinned.  
  
    Hell yeah. It was good to be home.  
  
  



	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been super busy. I hope you guys can enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry that it isn't much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I hope it isn’t inconvenient for anyone,” Castiel spoke. “But I’m going to ask my brother to stop by today.”  
>  “Which one?” Jessica asked. “I hope it’s Balthazar again.” she said turning to Sam. “He brought the best wine the last time.”  
>  Dean grimaced.  
>  “You mean to tell me when Sam and I were out of town, you and Cas were having wine parties with the biggest playboy in the clouds?”  
>  Jessica laughed.  
>  “Not wine parties,” she replied. “Fondue parties. That just happen to have wine at them.”  
>  Jessica laughed again, snorting at the incredulous look on Dean’s face. Castiel smiled softly.  
>  “It wasn’t a party, Dean,” he said calmly. “We just had dinner.... and various snacks in melted chocolate.”

    The drive home didn’t seem to take any time at all. Dean drove, his hand planted firmly on Castiel’s thigh the entire way. Jessica and Sam were in the back seat, and Sam spent most of the drive entertaining the baby. Dean tried his best to keep his eyes on the road, but it was difficult. He was so relieved and happy to finally be back home. He glanced over to Cas, who was smiling back at him, and Dean grinned as well, moving his hand up from the Angel’s thigh to gently touch the subtle swell of his belly. Cas gave a soft laugh. Dean was sentimental - there wasn’t a baby in there right now, just a concentration of grace; but, he was happy to let Dean see it the way he wished.   
  
    Once home, Sam peeled the sleeping baby from her car seat and carried her up to the crib while the others got the luggage from the car. Dean looked a little distressed by the idea of Cas lifting any of the suitcases, giving him the carry on bag instead. He didn’t miss the eye-roll he received in reply.   
  
    “What?” Dean asked, following his husband and Jessica into the house. Castiel looked over his shoulder, an amused however slightly wry expression on his face.   
  
    “I’m a former soldier of heaven, Dean,” Castiel told him. “I can handle carrying a piece of luggage filled with dirty laundry and dress shoes.”  
  
    Jessica giggled, holding open the door so the men could walk into the house. They sat the luggage down in the entryway and stripped off their coats. Dean followed Cas up the stairs to the bedroom, dropping his suitcase on the floor by the door. The bed was freshly made in cream colored sheets, the down comforter looking extra fluffy and inviting spread across the mattress. Dean groaned, moving to the side of the bed and dropping onto it.   
  
    It was funny to think, as many strange and varied beds that Dean had slept in in his life, he would become so quickly used to and partial to his own bed. Not to mention the person sharing it with him. He rolled onto his side, watching the Angel as he kneeled on the floor, pulling laundry out into two piles.   
  
    “Hey,” Dean spoke quietly. Cas looked over his shoulder at the hunter. Dean gave him a soft smile and extended his hand. “Come here.”  
  
    Castiel pushed himself from the floor and crossed to the bed, placing his knee on the mattress as Dean sat up. Dean brought a hand to the Angel’s face, rubbing his thumb across the other man’s cheek.   
  
    “Hey,” he said, deeply. Castiel smiled.  
  
    “Hello, Dean,” he replied. Dean grinned, leaning forward and pressing his lips to the Angel’s. Castiel leaned into the kiss, sliding a hand around Dean’s shoulders; he opened his mouth to his husband, meeting the hunter’s tongue with his own. Dean moaned, pulling Castiel down with him onto the bed. This kiss held all of the feelings of the last six weeks that the one in the airport couldn’t. Dean sighed, pulling back and looking down at the Angel.   
  
    “Did you miss me?” he asked. Castiel gave him an incredulous look, lifting a hand to his face.   
  
    “Immensely.” he replied. His eyes traveled down from Dean’s eyes to his jaw, and he watched his own fingers as they moved gently over the hunter’s scruffy profile. Dean swallowed, licking his lips as he watched Castiel watching him.   
  
    “So... how’s it feel?” he asked. The smallest smile passed over Castiel’s lips.   
  
    “It’s too bad the baby doesn’t like it...”  
  
    Dean couldn’t help but grin, a definite feeling of male pride welling up in him.  
  
    “Does that mean you like it?” he asked. Castiel’s smile grew, but he shrugged coyly. Dean grinned broadly back at him.   
  
    “Oh?” he said, pulling the Angel in closer to him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Castiel chuckled as the hunter attacked his throat with kisses, nuzzling along the side of Cas’s neck and shoulder with his chin. Dean heard the Angel moan beneath the attention, and he began to place hot, open mouthed kisses along Cas’s throat.   
  
    “Dean...” Castiel sighed, running his finger’s up through the back of Dean’s hair. “I’m so glad to have you home.”  
  
    “I’m happy to be home,” Dean told him, leaning up on his elbow to look down into his husband’s face. Sometimes, it was surreal to him that he fell in love with this man - hell, any man - but this one, with his angular jaw, his sharp cheekbones, and bluer than blue eyes was as beautiful as anyone he’d ever known. And they’d been so lucky together. So lucky.  
  
    Dean dropped his hand to Castiel’s belly, gently massaging his palm over the small swell beneath his sweater. He was transfixed for a moment.   
  
    “Oh,” Castiel said suddenly, pulling himself from the bed. “I almost forgot.”   
  
    Dean tried not to grimace at losing the warm body beside him, but he felt a small spark of excitement when he saw Cas take a wrapped package from the closet. He smiled shyly at the hunter, holding it out.   
  
    “Happy Birthday, Dean,” he spoke. Dean blushed, taking the present from his husband’s hands and Cas moved to sit at his side.   
  
    “Thank you, baby,” Dean murmured, checking out the shiny black paper with the neon ‘happy birthdays’ all over. Castiel folded his hands in his lap.   
  
    “I wasn’t sure if I should buy you anything at first,” Cas admitted, “Sam sent Jessica flowers and a necklace, but I didn’t think those were things you’d enjoy... and I don’t have any money of my own, so I basically purchased something for you with _your_ money. But, I tried to find something you’d like without spending too much...”  
  
    “It’s _our_ money, Cas,” Dean insisted. “And this is sweet. I... I can’t remember the last time I got a birthday gift...”  he noticed his voice seemed to take on a melancholy tone, so he smiled and turned to kiss the Angel. “Thank you, babe,” he said again, before unwrapping the package in his lap. He was surprised when he removed the paper and revealed the black leather case inside. It was a custom detailing kit for his car. “Wow, Cas...” he breathed, unzipping the clear vinyl top to take a closer look at the items inside. It contained everything he’d need to keep the Impala looking clean and new, inside and out.   
  
    “It was on sale,” Castiel insisted.   
  
    “Cas,” Dean spoke, awed, as he turned to the man at his side. “This... this is the sweetest thing you could have gotten me... you... you really thought about this.”  
  
    “Well,” Castiel admitted, blushing. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to get you something personal enough, since... I’m don’t know enough about your personal tastes, such as movies.”  
  
    “No babe, this is awesome,” Dean insisted, leaning over to kiss him deeply. “Thank you. It’s... it’s just awesome.”  
  
    Castiel smiled happily.   
  
    Dean was in an excellent mood as he returned downstairs. He brought down the dark colored laundry and Cas followed behind with the lights. Castiel and Sam worked on dinner, treating it as Dean and Jessica’s birthday dinner. Cas had made a chocolate pie earlier in the day that was setting up in the fridge, which was greatly appreciated after the meal. After dinner, they sat in the living room while Dean tried to get Mary to stop looking at him like he was a stranger. It took some effort, but she was soon giggling and shrieking with laughter in his arms as he played a rousing game of peek-a-boo with her. Sam watched his brother with a sentimental smile.   
  
    Dean and Sam shared some stories about their training as the sun started to go down. When Castiel made Mary’s last bottle if the day, Dean was the one to give it to her. Sam turned on the evening news, but no one was watching the television; Dean was watching his daughter as she drank, her tiny hand brushing against his chin as she made soft sounds of contentment. Castiel was watching his family with fondness, and Sam and Jessica were watching Dean as well. Mary slowly fell asleep, and Dean leaned down to brush kisses across her smooth forehead.   
  
    “Well, I think that does it for us,” Dean spoke quietly, gently pulling the empty bottle from the baby’s mouth and handing it to his husband as he stood. He looked down upon Cas. “You coming to bed?”   
  
    “I’ll be right up,” Castiel assured him, taking the bottle to the kitchen.   
  
    They group said their goodnight’s, and Jessica and Sam cuddled closer together once Dean and Castiel disappeared upstairs. They were silent a moment before Jessica spoke, humor in her voice.  
  
    “How many times do you think they’re going to make love tonight?” she asked. Sam gave a snort of laughter.  
  
    “Gross, Jess.” he replied. “I don’t want to think about that... but, I’m pretty sure they’re not going to be up for breakfast.”  
  
    Jessica giggled, flicking off the TV and taking Sam’s hand.   
  
    “Let’s get to bed ourselves, hm?” she asked. Sam smiled, rising and following her to their own room. They washed up and changed for bed, moving around each other as if they hadn’t spent any time apart between their college days and now. When they settled into bed together, Jessica snuggled into Sam’s arms, happily accepting his kiss.   
  
    “Hey Sam,” she spoke softly into the darkness as the young hunter turned his attention to tasting along the line of her neck and shoulder.   
  
    “Hm?” he replied. Jessica chewed on her lip as she considered how she was going to phrase her next words. She paused long enough to make Sam lean up to look at her. “What is it?” he asked.  
  
    Jessica sighed, nervously twisting the engagement ring on her finger.  
  
    “I know that we talked about me finishing my degree before we get married,” she began. Sam’s brow creased in concern. “But, I only need a few more credit hours and then my clinicals, which if I’m lucky I can get done in the summer. But... I don’t want to wait until the summer to get married.”  
  
    “Jess,” Sam spoke softly, leaning back to click on the bedside lamp. “We don’t have to hurry. I want you to have the wedding of your dreams. The one your parents and family wants for us. Hell, the one Dean wants for us.” Jessica grinned. “That takes time and planning. And I don’t want you to stress over wedding plans while trying to get your degree.”  
  
    “I know,” Jessica countered, rolling onto his chest and pinning him down. She straddled his lap and looked down upon him. “But, I’ve got reasons.”   
  
    Sam raised an eyebrow.   
  
    “Go on.” he said, absently stroking the bare expanse of thigh not covered by her nightshirt.   
  
    “Well,” she began. “First of all, you can plan an amazing wedding without needing a year to get things done. Yes, we want the big family thing, but that doesn’t mean it has to be complicated. Besides, we already have a lot of the planning done. Second, in all actuality, we’re not in our early twenties, you know.”  
  
    “Jess,” he tried to break in, but she pressed a finger to his lips. Her face held the expression of a woman whose consequences he was all too willing to risk, but he let her continue.   
  
    “I mean, I look amazing, I know,” she grinned. “But, a career is not really my real wish... it hasn’t been since we met. Not since I was 20.” Sam’s expression softened and he gave her thigh an affectionate squeeze. “I... I want to get married in March.”  
  
    “Why so soon?” he asked. “You’ll be in the middle of school.” She leaned over him.  
  
    “I want Cas to be comfortable at our wedding, and in the summer he’ll be huge - if he grows like a pregnant human.” Sam grimaced. “I want both him and Dean to be able to enjoy themselves without a bunch of awkward questions. He’s just tiny right now, so he shouldn’t be showing too much by March.” Sam had to admit, she had a point there. Cas was the reason he would even be having a wedding. And as much as Dean loved the Angel, Sam knew he’d be sick with anxiety worrying over what people were saying about his ‘expecting’ appearance. Jessica looked down at Sam, an uncertain, yet hopeful look on her face. “And... I want to start working on building our family... I want our kids to grow up with their cousins.”  
  
    “Jess...” Sam breathed, sitting up and pulling her into his arms. “Really? You... you want to... try to have a baby?”  
  
    Jessica grinned, nodding.   
  
    “Is that okay? I mean, I’ve already gone off the pill while you were gone, so... I bought condoms just in case, if you weren’t ready,” she added quickly. Sam was speechless, he just stared back at her in awe. “Sam?” she said, hesitantly.   
  
    “Yes!” He exclaimed, a wide grin breaking out over his face. “Yes, I’m ready! Oh my gosh... wow... we’re... wow...”  
  
    Jessica smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.   
  
    “Well Winchester,” she purred, leaning her head to the side. “Shall we get started?”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    After putting Mary to bed, Dean followed Cas into their bedroom. He shut the door behind them, before stretching out his arms above his head.   
  
    “Gah,” he groaned. “I’m so glad to be home.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, taking his pajamas from the dresser and handing some to Dean.   
  
    “Seriously?” Dean asked, smirking at the Angel. “You want to bother with that?” he took the clothes from Castiel’s hands and sat them back on the top of the dresser. “Come’ere, you.”   
  
    Castiel smiled, letting Dean pull him close. Dean wrapped his arms around the Angel, kissing him deeply as his hands began to wander underneath the hem of his sweater.   
  
    “Dean?” Cas murmured, pulling away. Dean continued to hold him close, keeping their hips pressed together as he tilted his had to the side.   
  
    “Hm?”  
  
    A light blush had risen on the Angel’s face.   
  
    “That reminds me... I bought you something else... for your birthday...”  
  
    Dean raised an eyebrow.  
  
    “What?”  
  
    Castiel pulled away, moving to the dresser and taking a small wrapped package from the top drawer. It had the same wrapping paper as the last gift, but it was small enough to fit in Dean’s palm. Dean licked his lips, setting on the side of the bed as he opened it.   
  
    “Uh.. wow,” he said, turning the small box over in his hand.   
  
    “They’re-”  
  
    “I see what they are,” Dean interrupted, feeling heat creeping up his neck and the rise of his pants become even more confining. He read the package.   
  
   _Ultimate Intimacy - the sexy deck for couples. 60 cards containing questions to deepen your connection, add excitement, and give rewards. Increase intimacy, improve connection, and enjoy sexy fun._   
  
    “Huh,” he commented, turning to the Angel. “You gettin’ bored with me, Cas?” he asked. Castiel smirked.   
  
    “No Dean,” he insisted. “But, I don’t want _you_ to get bored. And I want to -” he pointed to the wording on the package and read it. “ _Keep your relationship exciting for your partner for years to come_.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, leaning over and kissing the other man.  
  
    “You’re crazy, you know that?” he asked. “But, I love you for it. We can break these out tomorrow, okay?”  
  
    “Okay,” Castiel agreed. As Dean set the box and wrapping paper aside, a thought occurred to him.   
  
    “... Where did you get these?” he asked. He was slightly afraid of the answer.   
  
    “There is an adult toy store in down town Palo Alto,” Castiel replied plainly, as if he were speaking of a grocery store. “Did you know that ‘adult toys’ means sexual aids?” he continued. “I didn’t.”  
  
    Dean contained his laughter, but he couldn’t hide his smile.   
  
    “How did you end up in an adult toy store?” he asked.   
  
    “Jessica took me,” Cas replied. Dean’s smile faded and his brow creased.   
  
    “You took our daughter into a sex shop?” he asked. This isn’t how he thought his night with Cas would be going. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    “No.” he insisted. “Jessica seemed to think that that would be a bad idea. She watched Mary and sent me in by myself. And then I waited in the car with Mary while she was in there.”  
  
    “Sneaky,” Dean commented. “She didn’t, um, ask what you bought, did she?”  
  
    Castiel shook his head.   
  
    “No. And I thought it was probably in poor taste for me to inquire after her purchases.”  
  
    Dean shrugged.   
  
    “Well, that’s interesting,” He didn’t want to know what kinky things naughty-nurse Jessica More was purchasing from a sex shop.  “Did you see anything else that piqued your interest?”  
  
    “I had no idea that human’s needed so many devices and instruments in order to achieve sexual satisfaction,” Castiel replied. “Although, I suppose if you were single...or your husband was away...”  
  
    Dean chuckled, pulling his shirt off over his head and tossing it toward the hamper.   
  
    “Come’ere, baby,” Dean spoke, changing the subject. Castiel settled close to him and Dean pulled the Angel in for a kiss. Dean had thought about this night way too many times while he was away, and he was almost certain when the day finally came, it would be a mad rush of panting breaths and frantic movements. But now that he finally had the Angel in his arms, it was all deep, tender kisses and slow exploration. They undressed each other slowly, falling easily into the familiar pattern of kissing and stroking exactly where the other liked. Dean worshiped every inch of Cas’s bare skin, specifically where he knew Cas like it best, along his throat and across his collarbone. 

  
    It was better than fantasy when Dean finally settled over the other man, and he gave a low groan of satisfaction when he slid deep into the warmth below him. Castiel was moaning softly, pulling Dean down onto him, running his fingers through the hunter’s hair as they kissed.   
  
    Dean was acutely aware of how much weight he rested on the Angel’s torso, trying to keep the majority resting on his arms as he rolled his hips languidly, thrusting lazily into Cas’s body. Castiel’s breathing was heavy and shallow, and he rocked back against his husband, becoming desperate for the reward beckoning from just out of reach.   
  
    “Dean,” Castiel moaned, pulling his knees up higher against the hunter’s ribs. “Dean... _please_...” Dean’s lips curved into a smile as he kissed across the Angel’s throat. How he’d missed this.   
  
    With a choked cry, Castiel bowed against the hunter as he climaxed, his body shuddering from the release. Dean exhaled sharply, relaxing his resolve now that he knew his husband was satisfied. He didn’t last much longer. The low sigh of satisfaction that Castiel made when he felt the warm rush of Dean’s release was almost orgasmic unto itself.   
  
    Dean kissed the Angel softly as he moved to lay at his side. He grabbed some tissue and quickly cleaned them both up before pulling Cas back into his arms.   
  
    “I’ve missed you,” Castiel murmured, laying sweetly soft kisses on the hunter’s chest. “I’ve been so lonely at night without you.”  
  
    “Well, I’m not going anywhere for a while,” Dean replied, yawning. “Let’s not worry about being apart.”  
  
    Castiel made a sound of agreement, and curled into Dean’s embrace. They lay quietly together for a while, Dean’s hand eventually coming to rest over the Angel’s swollen abdomen, which he stroked softly.  
  
    “Dean,” Castiel spoke quietly, resting his hand over the hunter’s and pausing its motion.   
  
    “Hm?”  
  
    “Have you given any more thought to Gabriel’s offer? Of finding out what the sex of our baby is?”  
  
    Dean was quiet a moment, and Castiel turned to look up at him. Dean shrugged.   
  
    “Do you want to know?” he asked. Castiel tucked his head back down beneath Dean’s chin.  
  
    “I’ve finished the white edges of the blanket your mother helped me start to knit,” he explained. “I thought it might be nice to find out if I should finish it in pink or blue.”  
  
    Dean smiled.   
  
    “You can finish it in whatever color you like. Color doesn’t have a gender, right?” he replied, and Castiel smiled brilliantly back at him. “But... if you want to know, then... I’m cool with that. As long as it’s safe.”  
  
    “I’m sure it’s safe, Dean,” Castiel said. “Gabriel is my brother. And he loves our children just as much as any of our family.”  
  
    Dean wanted to stay on Castiel’s good side - the warm, naked side - so he didn’t reply. The Angel continued. “I’ll call him tomorrow. We’ll see if he can tell.”  
  
    “Sounds good,” Dean commented, finding that he suddenly had a small spark of nervous anticipation. He was going to find out if he was going to have another daughter, or have a son. Castiel’s son.   
  
    He squeezed the Angel tighter in his arms, before kissing his deeply.   
  
    “Good night, baby,” he murmured, brushing another kiss across his forehead. Castiel settled contentedly in his arms.   
  
    “Good night, Dean.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
    Contrary to Sam’s prediction, it was Dean and Cas who were up before breakfast. After the first round of attempting to make a baby, the researcher in Sam fired up his laptop and began to scour the internet for the best methods of conceiving. Jessica was amused for the first fifteen minutes, but after forty five she convinced Sam that they best way to make a baby was to have more sex. It wasn’t until they were both panting and sated that Sam mentioned that, according to WebMD, more sex wasn’t necessarily the answer (not that he was really going to complain).   
  
    By the time they made it upstairs, Dean, Cas, and Mary were already in the kitchen having breakfast. Dean raised an eyebrow.  
  
    “Well,” he greeted, enjoying Sam’s blush. “Good morning, sleepy heads. So glad you could pull yourselves out of bed and join us this morning.”  
  
    Sam nervously rubbed the back of his head, but Jessica just leaned down and kissed her brother-in-law on the temple.   
  
    “Good morning Dean,” she returned. “Good morning Castiel. Nice beard burn.”  
  
    Dean turned quickly to look at his husband who had sighed and was gingerly touching the pink, irritated skin across his neck and clavicle.   
  
    “Hindsight,” he replied dryly.   
  
    A blush rose up Dean’s face, and he turned back to his brother who had a smug smile. Dean cleared his throat.   
  
    “Are we eating?” he asked, shifting uncomfortably in his chair and lifting another spoonful of rice cereal to his daughter’s open mouth. Castiel smiled sympathetically at Dean, running a hand affectionately over his hair as he sat a plate of eggs, sausage, and toast in front of him. He kissed the top of Dean’s head for good measure.  
  
    “Thanks, babe,” Dean murmured, letting the Angel take the spoon from his hand to begin feeding the baby so that the hunter could concentrate on feeding himself.   
  
    “I hope it isn’t inconvenient for anyone,” Castiel spoke as he mixed a tablespoon of pureed apricots into the baby’s cereal. “But I’m going to ask my brother to stop by today.”  
  
    “Which one?” Jessica asked, pulling her feet up onto her chair as she started in on her own meal. “I hope it’s Balthazar again.” she said turning to Sam. “He brought the best wine the last time.”  
  
    Dean grimaced.   
  
    “You mean to tell me when Sam and I were out of town, you and Cas were having wine parties with the biggest playboy in the clouds?”  
  
    Jessica laughed.   
  
    “Not _wine_ parties,” she replied. “Fondue parties. That just happen to have wine at them.”  
  
    Jessica laughed again, snorting around a forkful of scrambled egg at the incredulous look on Dean’s face. Castiel smiled softly.   
  
    “It wasn’t a party, Dean,” he said calmly. “We just had dinner.... and various snacks in melted chocolate.”  
  
    “A fondue party,” Sam chuckled.   
  
    Dean rolled his eyes, focusing on his breakfast. Castiel turned back to Jessica.   
      
    “It’s not Balthazar,” he answered. “Dean and I are going to invite Gabriel over. He told us he would be able to tell us the sex of our next child, and we wanted to find out.”  
  
    “Wow,” Sam breathed, looking from Cas to his brother. “That’s... that’s awesome.”  
  
    Dean finally gave a small smile, looking over to his husband and daughter. Yeah, it was pretty awesome.   
  
    After finishing his meal, Dean stood and took the empty plates and placed them in the dishwasher as Cas wiped down the baby.   
  
    “I’ll get her dressed if you guys want to get dressed yourselves,” Sam offered, holding his hands out for the baby as Cas stood.   
  
    “Thank you, Sam,” Castiel replied, turning the baby over to her uncle before following Dean out of the kitchen. Jessica grinned at him.   
  
    “You do realize that you just offered to dress a baby so your brother could have shower sex, right?” she asked. Sam grimaced.   
  
    “Gah, Jess,” he responded. “I’m pretty sure they are all wrung out. I mean, Cas look pretty... ravaged already this morning.” he shuddered at the memory of the rash across his brother-in-law’s throat. Jessica gave him a cheeky grin.   
      
    “It could have been worse,” she told him, earning a ‘how so’ look. “It could have been on the back of his neck. At least you know they were probably making love.”  
  
    Sam grimaced again, chuckling as he stood.   
  
    “Yeah. Well, I say that...” he looked down at Mary. “I think they’ve some restraint...”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    “Oh my god,” Dean laughed, rubbing a towel through this damp hair. “I totally thought I was going to slip to my death. That would have been embarrassing.”  
  
    “Yes,” Castiel agreed, drying his own body. “Instead, it was merely startling... and slightly uncomfortable for a moment.”  
  
    Dean continued to chuckle, pulling the Angel into his arms.   
  
    “I’m sorry baby,” he said, trying to sound soothing instead of amused. “I’ll be more careful next time. It’s always more complicated than in looks in the movies.”  
  
    Castiel nodded in understanding.   
  
    “I suppose we could put down some decals or something...”  
  
    After getting dressed, Castiel sat on the end of the bed and closed his eyes, making a prayer to his brother. Dean pushed his hands into his pockets, nervously waiting. They didn’t wait long.   
  
    “Cassy!” Gabriel exclaimed, throwing his arms open wide.  
  
    “Hello Gabriel,” Castiel replied, nodding in greeting. Gabriel stood motionless, his arms out at his side.   
  
    “Umm... brother you haven’t seen in weeks,” he spoke impatiently. Castiel sighed, standing and walking into his brother’s embrace.   
  
    “I saw you _last_ week,” he replied. “But, I am grateful that you replied to my call.”  
  
    “Not a problem,” Gabriel told him. “Anything you need. You need me to help you move your stuff because you’re leaving this primate?”  
  
    Dean grimaced, but kept silent so as not to anger the one person who so far was doing what he could for Cas. So while Gabriel’s sense of humor wasn’t funny in the slightest, he would keep his mouth shut. For now.   
  
    “Of course not,” Castiel told him. “You once said that you could tell us the sex of our unborn child. If it is not too much trouble, Dean and I were hoping that you would let us know...”  
  
    Gabriel looked from Cas to Dean. He shrugged.   
  
    “Sure. If you really want to know,” he said. Before he could continue, Dean broke in.   
  
    “Is it safe?” he asked. “Could it hurt him or the baby to check?”  
  
    Gabriel grimaced, shrugging.  
  
    “It can’t be that dangerous,” he explained. He held his hand out in front of himself, clasping his fingers into fist. “All I have to do, is shove my hand right into his-”  
  
    “Never mind!” Dean growled, his brow furrowing in near anger. Gabriel chuckled, shaking his hands to calm Dean down.   
  
    “Kidding. Kidding.” he insisted, stepping closer to his brother and laying a hand on his shoulder. “I’m only joking, so you can cool your jets.” he gave Cas’s shoulder a squeeze, looking into his little brother’s face. His expression softened a moment, as he looked upon the dimming light of the Angel’s grace and his heart ached for the beautiful celestial being his baby brother once was. But, the serene look of happiness in the demi-Angel’s eyes brought the grin back to the tricksters face. “I don’t need to do any sort of check.” he turned back to Dean. “I knew the sex of your little bun before it even went in the oven - figuratively speaking, as if the oven was Cassy’s belly and not his consciousness.”  
  
    Before Dean could make any sort of retort, Castiel reached up and took the archangel’s hand.   
  
    “We’re so grateful for all of your help, brother,” he spoke, honestly. “And whatever it is, we hope that you will also keep a place in your life for our children. I’ve not forgotten your role in my upbringing, and you are important to me.”  
  
    Gabriel smiled softly, giving Cas’s cheek a gentle pat.   
  
    “Did you woo Winchester with that mouth, you sly thing,” he asked, wryly. Castiel blushed and dropped his gaze. Gabriel shook his head. “Of course I’ll be here for you, whatever you need of me. I’m a little attached to your little girl,” he ruffled the younger Angel’s hair playfully. “I’m sure I’ll be just as smitten with your son.”  
  
    Castiel turned to see the look of awe on his husband’s face before he turned back to his brother.   
  
    “I’m... I’m having a son?”   
  
    Dean felt heat rise behind his eyes at the way Castiel’s voice broke when he asked the question. The Angel continued.   
  
    “A... a little boy?”  
  
    “Hey, don’t look at me like that,” Gabriel insisted, giving a wave of his hand. “You and Dean made him. I’m just giving you the news.”  
  
    Castiel stood and crossed to Dean, letting the hunter pull him into his arms. He may not be able to give Dean four children, but he gave him a daughter, and now a son, and if that was what they could have together, he would be content.   
  
    “I love you, Dean,” he murmured against the hunter’s ear, enjoying the feel of the other man’s hands on his back.   
  
    Dean’s voice was tight, full of emotion when he replied.   
  
    “Love you too, babe,”  
  
    Gabriel accepted their joy as a thank you, slipping away to let them share the emotion in private. That, and he knew they couldn’t get any _more_ pregnant, so it was probably just going to be tears and sweet words.   
  
    Dean cupped Castiel’s face in his hands, kissing him softly once on the mouth, then twice, before kissing his forehead and crushing him in a hug.   
  
    “I’m so happy, Dean,” he could hear Castiel murmur, his voice muffled against Dean’s neck. Dean hugged him tightly, rocking back and forth on his feet as he let the happiness and serenity sink in. After a few moments of quiet contemplation, Castiel pulled away. “We should tell Sam and Jessica,” he said, turning to where he thought Gabriel was still standing. He was surprised that they were alone.   
  
    “C’mon,” Dean spoke, taking the Angel’s hand and leading him back downstairs. Gabriel was sitting at the table, telling a story that had Jessica in hysterics and a grimace on Sam’s face. Castiel smiled upon seeing his brother was holding Mary in his arms. The baby was giggling as well. “Sam!” Dean spoke, as they walked into the room. “Grab some beers! We’re having a toast.”  
  
    Sam moved immediately to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of beer and pour it into four glasses. He poured a glass of juice for good measure, handing it to Dean who passed it on to Cas. Gabriel gave his brother an amused smirk, but Castiel only shook his head. The look between them clearly said ‘ _You do know that alcohol won’t have any affect on the baby_ ’ and ‘ _Please just let Dean have this moment..._ ”  
  
    “So what are we toasting to?” Jessica asked excitedly. Dean put an arm around Castiel, pulling him in tightly as he raised his glass.  
  
    “To the next generation of Winchester men.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Knowing the sex of their baby, in conjunction with Castiel’s physically obvious (although only slightly obvious) condition, seemed to put Dean in perpetually high spirits, which lasted until his and Sam’s first job in the field. Out of all of their case files, Sam and Dean started with one that was currently marked as a ‘cold case’ string of serial murders in northern California. It had all the markings of a werewolf, so with reluctance, they boys kissed their spouses goodbye and drove the Impala up north. On the good side, two days later they were on the way back with a closed case under their belts.   
  
     Thankfully, it was a home day on the first valentines day both Winchesters spent with their partners. Jessica and Sam went out to dinner, leaving Dean and Cas to spend the evening alone with the baby. After supper, Mary fell asleep in Dean’s arms as she drank a bottle, and she was put to bed by eight-thirty. After putting the baby in her crib, Dean returned to the living room to cuddle on the sofa with Castiel. Castiel had made a chocolate silk pie with cherry topping, and they shared a slice of it while watching ‘An Affair to Remember’.   
  
    Cas fed Dean small forkfulls of pie until the plate was empty, and Dean wrapped the Angel in his arms until the movie came to a close. Before the credits were finished rolling, Cas was turned in Dean’s embrace, and they were kissing each other softly.   
  
    “Hey Cas,” Dean murmured, bringing a hand up to gently brush his fingers through the soft, wavy hair at the Angel’s temple.   
  
    “Hmm?” Castiel hummed happily in reply, his lips pressing sweet, small kisses against Dean’s jawline.   
  
    Dean was hesitant to continue, and he dropped his hand to his husband’s waist before he spoke.  
  
    “Are you happy?”  
  
    Castiel paused, pulling back in order to look into the hunter’s face. His eyes narrowed, slight confusion and concern in his expression.   
  
    “Are you feeling well?” he asked. The expression and the question caused Dean to chuckle.   
  
    “Yeah, I feel great,” he replied. “Which is why I... I wanna make sure you feel the same.”  
  
    Castiel’s eyes remained narrowed, and his brow creased as he tilted his head to the side.   
  
    “Why would you doubt that I am happy?” he asked, seriously.   
  
    Dean was quiet a moment, dropping his eyes and focusing on worrying the top button of Castiel’s shirt.   
  
    “You were a... a full-on Angel...” he began quietly. “You got to fly around the clouds with thousands of your brothers and sisters, not having to worry about... much of anything...”  
  
    “And you think that is preferable to having free will?” Castiel asked him. “That it is preferable to experiencing love? The deep love and passion that you have shown me? The immeasurable love that I’ve discovered for my daughter?...” he paused, a hand coming to rest over his abdomen. “That I already also feel for our son?”  
  
    Dean smiled, but it turned into a smirk as he dropped his hand and slipped it around the Angel’s waist.   
  
    “Yeah, I know that you love us, but... But what about all those other things that you have to put up with now, like eating and sleeping and getting sick?”  
  
    “Dean,” Cas spoke, his low, rough voice sending a chill up the hunter’s spine and a warmth spread across his skin at the feeling of his husband’s fingers lingering on his throat. “I know that it took me a while to become accustomed to some of the more... intense human needs, and to be honest, I still live with the dread of elimination....” Dean gave a huff of laughter.   
  
    “Understatement,” he commented. Castiel blushed lightly, a shy smile on his lips.   
  
    “But, those things you mentioned - having to eat means that I get to participate in family meals. Sleeping means I get to fall asleep in your arms and wake up at your side. Getting sick means that I get to appreciate how much you love me when you take care of me. I wouldn’t change this life for anything, Dean,” he shook his head. “And when...” he took a deep breath. “When the time comes that I am no longer an Angel in any sense, when I am fully human, I will still not regret a moment of this. Because I’ve know for... for quite a long time that you were my purpose, Dean. That my life only had meaning when you were a part of it. And one day I will grow old, but I will grow old with you. And that will be wonderful.”  
  
    “God baby, I love you,” Dean whispered, his voice gruff with emotion, bringing his hands to the Angel’s face. When this being touched him and pulled him from the pit, he had no idea that he would be saved in more ways than one. Instead of kissing Cas again, Dean simply pulled him into an embrace, wrapping his arms around the solid warmth of his husband’s body. “I love you so much.”  
  
    Castiel hummed contentedly in response, melting against Dean’s body and letting the hunter lazily run his hands all over his back.   
  
    “Hey,” Dean murmured quietly, nudging the Angel. “We’re kind of not doing this valentine’s day thing right if we fall asleep on the couch...”  
  
    Castiel smiled, pulling himself from the sofa and taking Dean’s hand. They were kissing as they backed toward the stairs, and clothes were already being shed by the time they reached the bedroom. Dean nudged the door shut with his foot, and he set to stripping the clothes off of his Angel, and worshipping every inch of bare flesh as it was exposed.   
  
    Dean had to admit - if he did say so himself - that he had outdone himself that night. He had Cas moaning and panting, calling Dean’s name into the dim, quiet of the room when the sound was not muffled against the hunter’s neck, or beneath his lips. And when Castiel climaxed twice in quick succession, Dean finally let himself go, relaxing into his husband’s body and kissing him breathless.   
  
    “I...” Castiel began as he tried to catch his breath, “I think... I like valentine’s day...”  
  
    Dean chuckled, resting a hand over his heart and feeling the way it thumped beneath his palm.  
  
    “Yeah,” he agreed. “when they’re like this.”  
  
    They were quiet a moment before the Angel spoke again.  
  
    “I can’t move,” he sighed. “And I’m so tired.”  
  
    Dean laughed again, reaching out and pulling the other man closer to him. Castiel rolled over to lay against Dean’s chest, pressing his ear to the younger man’s heartbeat. Dean reached out and grabbed his phone from the nighstand, bringing up his brother’s number and putting in a text.  
  
 _Sammy - we didn’t wait up. Make sure things are locked up when you come home. Have a good night._  
  
    The response came back in only moments.  
  
  _GROSS. Thanks for letting me know. ;-) Will lock up._  
  
    Dean grinned, setting the phone aside and putting his arm back around his husband, laying kisses on his hair as they settled to go to sleep.   
  
    “Dean,” Castiel spoke tiredly, his eyes closed as he was lulled by the slow stroking of Dean’s fingers down his arm.  
  
    “Hm?” Dean replied. Cas sighed, shifting in Dean’s arms before he continued.   
  
    “I hope our son looks like you...”  
  
    Dean smiled softly, tilting the Angel’s face up so he could press a kiss to his lips.  
  
    “He’ll look like us, and that’s better,”  
  
    Castiel made a quiet sound of acknowledgement, his arms tightening around Dean. Dean stared up at the ceiling, watching the patters that the moonlight cast through the curtains. Mary was the most adorable combination of Winchester and, well, Novak - but Dean tried not to think about that. Her blue eyes, while the same shape and color of Jimmy’s, had a ethereal look to them that pierced the soul, just like her daddy’s. And he was sure that his son would resemble Cas in the same way, and he couldn’t wait to finally see him.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean smiled, reaching out to turn on the stereo. A blast of 80s pop-rock filled the car and he grimaced.  
>  “Oh,” Castiel spoke, a smile turning his lips. “I like this song.”  
>  “Babe,” Dean laughed, shaking his head. “This is...” he sighed, pulling his hand away from the radio and settling back in his seat, resigning himself to the situation. “You know what, driver picks the music, right? You know what shotgun does?”  
>  Castiel glanced over at him, his smile faltering a moment.  
>  “Expels generally spherical projectiles,” he replied. “But, I don’t see what was has to do with the other...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long to post! I have been so very, very busy and on top of all the busy, I wrote this chapter brand-new. I couldn't find the Cas laughing scene that I thought I had written, and I didn't realize how hard it was to get Cas to laugh. So, this chapter is mostly for the lovely Xenrae. I hope you enjoy it. :) <3

    The Saturday following Valentine’s day, Dean asked Sam and Jessica if they would babysit Mary so he could take Cas out for his very first driving lesson. Sam had asked him if he thought Cas could learn to operate a car quickly enough to take his test before it became too apparent to the outside world he was a pregnant man, but Dean brushed off the concern.  
  
    “I taught you to drive, didn’t I?” Dean asked, smirking at his brother. “Cas only had to read the manual through once before he had it memorized. I’m sure once he gets a couple hours logged behind the wheel, he’ll be good to go. I’m an amazing teacher, right?”  
  
    “If you can ever get him to get behind the wheel,” Jessica laughed, taking the baby from her brother-in-law’s arms. “But go. Take your time.” she winked at him, and Dean turned before the blush he was feeling was visible on his face. He crossed into the living room where Cas sat on the sofa, re-reading the driver’s manual. Dean gave him a clap on the back.   
  
    “You don’t need that anymore, bud,” he said. “You ready to go?”  
  
    “Are you sure we shouldn’t wait until the next time your mother and Bobby come to visit?” he asked, reluctantly rising from his seat. “Bobby can bring one of the spare vehicles from the salvage yard. I don’t want you to worry about your car.”  
  
    “I’m not worried about the car,” Dean assured him, pushing the Angel ahead of himself and out of the house.   
  
    “Wait, wait,” Cas insisted, turning back into the house and joining Sam and Jess in the kitchen. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his daughter’s cheek. Mary cooed and reached for him, but he smoothed down her hair and spoke softly. “We’ll be back.”  
  
    “Have fun, Cas,” Sam said sportively, walking him back to the door. “Just,” he took hold of the Angel’s arm, stopping him just short of exiting the house. “Just don’t worry when Dean gets jumpy. He doesn’t mean it personally, he just can’t help himself. It’s just the car.”  
  
    Castiel’s brow furrowed, but he nodded and left the house. Dean was already in the Impala in the driver’s seat. Cas settled in beside him.  
  
    “I thought I’d take you to someplace you can get comfortable with the basics before we actually get out on the road,” Dean explained, waiting until his husband was buckled in before backing out of the driveway. Castiel had spent many, many hours of his existence watching Dean drive the Impala, but was usually focused on the hunter’s beautiful face. So today, he focused on how Dean shifted the car into reverse, the way his hand moved the wheel, the way his foot moved from pedal to pedal, and the way his eyes darted from mirror to street. He was captivated by Dean, the way he handled this car, and it made Cas just slightly apprehensive to be sitting where his husband was now.   
  
    Dean found an empty lot on the outskirts of town and pulled the Impala to a stop.   
  
    “Alright, buddy,” he said, cutting the engine and removing the keys. “Your turn.” Dean held the keyring out and Castiel stared at them a moment. “It’s cool, hon. You’ll see.”  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath and nodded, taking the keys from his husband’s hand and they both got out of the car. It wasn’t that Cas doubted his ability to learn to drive, it was more his fear of being in control of Dean’s oldest and most beloved possession - the mobile home that carried him and Sam from childhood to adulthood.   
  
    Once they settled back into the car, Dean put his seatbelt back on and turned to Cas.  
  
    “Alright,” he began. “What do you do first?”  
  
    “Put on my seatbelt,” Cas replied, locking the belt in place. Dean nodded, but the Angel could tell that his breathing had already, and probably unconsciously, become shallow. The hunter reached over and adjusted the strap so it was as low as possible and in no danger of pressing on the small bump of Castiel’s abdomen.   
  
    “And then?”  
  
    “And then I check the mirrors,” as Cas reached for the rearview, Dean held up a hand, stilling his motion. Castiel turned to him.  
  
    “Don’t you need to adjust the seat?” Dean asked. “I’m a bit taller than you.”  
  
    Castiel’s expression was just slightly confused.   
  
    “Dean, you are two and a quarter inches taller than me,” he replied, testing the reach of his foot from gas to break. “I think the seat is fine.”  
  
    Dean held up his hands, as if in surrender.  
  
    “Okay, if you think it’s _fine_.”  
  
    Castiel smiled patiently, reaching beneath the seat and adjusting the bench forward an inch. Dean seemed to exhale slightly, and Castiel continued adjusting the mirrors. They, too, were already nearly perfect. Cas turned to Dean.  
  
    “May I start the engine now?”  
  
    Dean smirked.   
  
    “Yeah! Of course. Go ahead,” as he watched Castiel lean down slightly to line the key up with the ignition, Dean cleared his throat. “Now, when you turn the key, don’t turn it too hard - Just wait for the engine to catch-”  
  
    The engine of the Impala roared to life, and Castiel set back, placing his hands on the steering wheel in the ‘ten’ and ‘two’ position. Dean cleared his throat again.   
  
    “Um... now you shift into drive - but put your foot on the break first!”  
  
    Cas pushed his foot on the break pedal, reaching down to pull the gear shift from park to move it in to drive.  
  
    “Wait!” Dean said quickly, and Cas’s pulled his hand away from the gear as if it were scalding hot. “You want to make sure you ease your foot off the break, and don’t hit the accelerator right away. You just want to let the car start to roll forward until you get a feel for steering. You don’t have to speed up right away.”  
  
    “Okay, Dean,” Castiel replied, pulling the gear and shifting the car into drive. Dean was holding his breath when Cas relaxed his foot and the car began to roll forward. Castiel tightened his hands on the wheel, holding it steady as the Impala picked up speed on its own. Dean was tapping his foot, his hands gripping his thighs as he watched Cas’s eyes concentrating on the pavement ahead.   
  
    Cas moved his foot from hovering over the break, and pushed gently on the gas pedal. The Impala lurched forward and both he and Dean were jostled in their seats, causing Dean to make an uncomfortable, startled sound. Castiel hurriedly hit the break and the car rocked to a stop. He looked sheepishly over at Dean, turning off the engine.   
  
    Dean had his hands on his face, and Castiel quietly pushed the gear into park.   
  
    “Dean?” he said, hesitantly. Dean hung his head, and Castiel felt a tug of concern and worry that he had done something wrong. “Dean?” he spoke again.   
  
    Dean’s shoulders began shaking, and when he lifted his head, he was laughing. Castiel was even more concerned now.   
  
    “Dean?” he said, shifting forward to look into Dean’s face. “What did I do wrong?”  
  
    Dean wiped at his eyes, putting a hand to his stomach as he tried to regain control of his breathing.   
  
    “Oh, babe,” he said with a sigh. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”  
  
    Castiel’s eyebrows pinched together, but his lips twitched with the beginnings of a smile as he watched Dean laugh. Dean looked over at his husband, sighing heavily once more and reaching out to squeeze the Angel’s thigh.   
  
    “I’m sorry,” Dean said. “I’m being crazy. I just...” he shook his head. “I didn’t think I would have trouble with this. But, Sam is the last person I taught to drive and that was, hell, comin’ up on sixteen years ago or somethin’...” he gave the Angel a weak smile. “It’s different sitting across from an inexperienced driver when you know what a car can do. There is a bit of fearlessness you lose growing up, I guess.”  
  
    “I understand,” Castiel said, nodding. “Would it make you more comfortable to do this some other time? Or possibly, if Sam or Jessica drove with me?”  
  
    “No!” Dean insisted, settling more comfortably in his seat. “No. I want to do this. I want to do this with you.” he took a deep, cleansing breath. “Your way. You do what you feel comfortable doing, and I’ll chime in only if needed.”  
  
    “My way?” Castiel asked, narrowing his eyes. “Really?”  
  
    “Yep,” Dean agreed, holding up his hands before folding his arms over his chest. “Your way.”  
  
    Castiel considered it a moment before reaching past his husband and opening the glove compartment. Dean grimaced, watching the Angel take the car manual in his hands and patiently flip through the pages.   
  
    “What are you doing?” Dean asked. Castiel was quiet a moment, reading through to the end. He leaned past Dean to return the manual to the glove compartment.   
  
    “Doing this my way,” he said with a smile, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. Dean watched in amusement as his husband walked around the car, examining the frame. Cas stared at the hood a moment before leaning down. Dean swore when the front of the car was lifted from the ground and he threw out his hands to brace himself, but just as quickly as Cas had lifted the vehicle, he sat it back down. Dean stared, dumbstruck, as his husband walked back to the driver’s side of the car and got back in his seat.  
  
    “What the hell was that?!” Dean demanded, his expression still a mixture of shock and a bit of outrage.   
  
    “I just wanted to see how heavy the vehicle was,” Cas replied calmly, shrugging, fastening his seatbelt. “Now that I am familiar with the construction, the relative weight, and the general assembly, I think that I am more confident in operating it.”  
  
    Dean stared at the Angel. Castiel narrowed his eyes, tilting his head in question.   
  
    “Couldn’t that hurt the baby?” Dean finally spoke, his voice full of concern.   
  
    Castiel looked down at his abdomen, lowering his hand to the subtle roundness of the flesh beneath his shirt.   
  
    “I will not let him come to harm, Dean,” he assured his husband. “I would never do anything to jeopardize his existence.”  
  
    “Yeah, well,” Dean replied, settling back in his seat once again. “I wouldn’t try that again. You never know when you may not have the Angel strength. I don’t... don’t want you to hurt yourself.”  
  
    “Yes, Dean,” Castiel agreed.  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, watching the Angel reach forward once again and start the engine. The Impala rumbled to life and Cas steeled himself before shifting into drive and letting the car roll forward. With his new knowledge, Cas was quickly able to master the simple task of driving in slow, neat circles around the deserted lot. It only took a few minutes for Dean to finally start relaxing, and he watched the way Cas’s hands moved on the wheel and the cute way his eyes would narrow when he would look in the rearview mirror.  
  
    Dean smiled, reaching out to turn on the stereo. A blast of 80s pop-rock filled the car and he grimaced.   
  
    “Oh,” Castiel spoke, a smile turning his lips. “I like this song.”  
  
    “Babe,” Dean laughed, shaking his head. “This is...” he sighed, pulling his hand away from the radio and settling back in his seat, resigning himself to the situation. “You know what, driver picks the music, right? You know what shotgun does?”  
  
    Castiel glanced over at him, his smile faltering a moment.  
  
    “Expels generally spherical projectiles,” he replied. “But, I don’t see what was has to do with the other...”  
  
    Dean’s laughter was loud over the song, and he wiped at his eyes but didn’t clarify the question. He directed Cas in a few tasks around the lot, showing him how to park and make wide left turns, before letting him direct the Impala out onto actual road. After half an hour of cruising the nearly empty streets, they returned to the lot to change places.   
  
    “Good job, buddy,” Dean praised, giving Cas a thump on the leg. “You did good. We can go out again tomorrow afternoon, maybe someplace closer to home with a bit more traffic around. Really see what you got.”  
  
    “I’d like that,” Cas replied, adjusting his seatbelt as he settled in at Dean’s side. “Very much.”  
  
    Dean stared at his husband a moment, watching the Angel push the fabric strap low across his hips the way Dean had earlier. There was something very gentle and human about the man, even though Dean knew he still had the strength of a superhero. He was so out of his element, but adapting so well (most of the time).  
  
    “Hey Cas,” Dean said, earning the other man’s attention. Dean’s expression was thoughtful. “I know we talked about it during our honeymoon,” the mention of their trip brought a smile to Castiel’s face, and Dean grinned even though he meant to be serious. “And I know you said you wanted to focus on taking care of our family, but... I just can’t help but wonder if there isn’t something else you’d rather be doing...”  
  
    “I can assure you, Dean,” Cas replied. “There is nothing I would rather be doing.”  
  
    “But you used to be a warrior,” Dean pointed out. “You’re used to planning battles and directing troops and whatnot, right?”  
  
    “You make it sound more exciting than it was,” Cas told him, clasping his hands in his lap. “The things I do now are different, but of no less importance. I consider it extremely important _and_ satisfying.” Dean frowned, continuing to stare at Cas, who stared evenly back. “I am happy, Dean.” the Angel said, softly.   
  
    Dean sighed, rubbing a hand across his forehead before dragging his fingers through his hair.   
  
    “I wish you at least had a hobby or something. Something that was what you like to do. Something _yours_.”  
  
    “I _do_ enjoy taking care of our home and our daughter,” Cas replied. “And now that winter is ending, I will be able to start a garden, like in the book you bought me.”  
  
    “Yeah, I guess,” Dean grumbled. He was quiet a moment before continuing. “Is there anything you want to do before that?”  
  
    Castiel considered the question. He wasn’t sure what he could say that would convince Dean to quit worrying for his well-being. Tending a home, learning to cook, and taking care of an infant may seem to pale in comparison to the work he did as a commander on High, but to him, there was really nothing he could think of that was more fulfilling. He didn’t need to be directing forces to feel he was accomplishing great works. He did appreciate Dean’s concern. He felt a similar desire to see Dean enjoy the things he found pleasure in before they were so settled in domesticity - except for the ‘dating’, of course.       
  
    “I... I do enjoy when you read to me,” Cas spoke, looking up at Dean. “Reading is a hobby, correct?”  
  
    “Well yeah,” Dean replied. “But I don’t want your hobby to be listening to books I like. I want you to have something you like.”  
  
    Castiel’s blue eyes looked uncertainly back at Dean.  
  
    “May I pick the book then?” he asked.   
  
    Dean smiled.   
  
    “Sure,” he agreed. “But if your taste in books is anything like your taste in music, this is going to be one interesting hobby.”  
  
    “What’s wrong with my taste in music?” Castiel asked as Dean started the car, the radio clicking to life again and the catchy beat of ‘Centerfold’ filled the air. They looked at each other a moment before Dean started laughing, equally amused by both the lyrics and the way Cas smiled and dropped his gaze. Dean pushed the gear into drive.  
  
    “I got an idea,” Dean said, glancing over at his husband. “I had some plans for the afternoon, but I want to make a little detour.”  
  
    Castiel smiled, looking back at Dean with a curious expression.  
  
    “Plans?” he asked. “Weren’t we going home after my driving lesson?”   
  
    “Nope,” Dean grinned, shaking his head, a bit of a blush coloring his cheeks. “I thought it would be nice for the two of us to spend some time alone out of the house, just... hang out a bit...”  
  
    Castiel smiled, looking over at his husband with a soft fondness. Dean smiled back, switching his grip on the wheel so he could take the Angel’s hand in his. They drove in silence, and Cas watched the scenery outside of the window while he gently stroked the back of the hunter’s hand. The smile stayed on Dean’s face as he drove, and he was reluctant to let go of his husband’s hand when they finally stopped.   
  
    “The library?” Castiel asked, looking at the large brick building.   
  
    “Yep,” Dean exclaimed, pushing his hands down in his pockets as they walked across the parking lot. “I spent a lot of time in libraries growing up. A library card is imperative for someone looking to add reading to their list of frequent pastimes.”  
  
    “Hm,” Castiel considered, letting Dean open the door and usher him inside.   
  
    The library was large and quiet, even considering there were quite a few people inside. The couple approached the front desk and Dean requested a library card application for each of them, which they filled out and submitted. Castiel still felt a small, giddy thrill when he got to write “Castiel Winchester” on official human forms and documents. Dean felt the same.  
  
    With temporary cards in hand, Dean and Cas browsed the shelves of books, getting separated as Dean disappeared down an isle of fiction classics. He found a favorite he hadn’t read in a while, and another by the same author that he hadn’t, and went to find Cas. The Angel was standing at the checkout desk.  
  
    “These are due April 15th,” the library clerk was telling him. “Would you like a tote for these?”  
  
    Cas picked up the three books he had neatly stacked in front of himself.  
  
    “No, thank you,” he replied. “I appreciate your assistance.”  
  
    “Any time. Happy reading.”  
  
    Once Dean was checked out as well, the two Winchesters returned to the car.   
  
    “What did you get?” Dean asked, peering at the books in his husband’s hands. Cas followed his gaze.  
  
    “I found a cook book that teaches you how to make food from from seasonal ingredients,” he replied. “A book about early childhood development, and a novel about a young boy who lives in a dismal situation, but finds out that he is actually special and from a world of magic.”  
  
    Dean gave a snort of laughter, settling into the Impala at Cas’s side.   
  
    “You checked out ‘Harry Potter’?”  
  
    Castiel turned to Dean, a slightly disheartened look on his face.   
  
    “You’ve read it?” he asked, looking down at the glossy book cover of a bespectacled boy on a broomstick. “... I was hoping we could read it together...”  
  
     Dean chuckled, starting up the car and pulling out of the parking space.  
  
    “I haven’t read it,” he assured the Angel. “I’ve only heard a bit about it. We can read it together, no problem.”  
  
    Cas’s smile returned and he set his books neatly between them before looking out the window.   
  
    “Are we going home?” he asked. Dean turned to him with a grin on his face.  
  
    “Nope,” he stated. “Not yet. I’m, uh, I’m going to take you to where I had planned to originally before we detoured to the library.”  
  
    Castiel narrowed his eyes, looking back at Dean.  
  
    “Where are we going?” he asked, suspiciously.   
  
    Dean’s smile was slightly shy, and Cas could see the blush on his ears.   
  
    “You’ll see.”  
  
    Cas’s eyes narrowed further, but he didn’t question Dean’s secretive response. He leaned back against the leather seat, turning back to the scenery rushing past. It wasn’t long before the signs of the city were behind them and green country was all around. Cas enjoyed the feeling of driving in the Impala at Dean’s side - as much as he enjoyed the stability of their home. Driving through the country with the windows down and the breeze blowing through his hair was what he had always dreamed about before Dean was his; the life he wanted to experience with this beautiful human before he knew how much they would actually have.   
  
    Dean pulled the car off the paved road and on to a small dirt lane indicating they were entering a nature preserve. It was obviously not the main entrance, and the area was wide and deserted with a generous sprinkling of tall oak trees still bright green in the mild February weather. It was just about noon and the sun was high in the cloudy sky, the warmth of the rays made the mid-seventies chill easier to manage with just jackets. Dean parked just off the road.  
  
    “You’re not cold, right?” he asked, his hand poised on the door handle. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    “The weather is beautiful,” he replied. “And I’m wearing several layers.”  
  
    Dean grinned.   
  
    “A true Winchester,” he remarked, opening the door and stepping out onto the grass. Cas followed, getting out of the car and stretching his arms above his head as he watched Dean pull the dented, metal cooler from the back seat.   
  
    “What is is this?” Castiel asked, eyeing the blanket his husband had tossed over his shoulder. Dean gave a small shrug, as if it was no big deal and not something he had intentionally planned.   
  
    “It’s lunch.” Dean replied. Cas watched the hunter set the cooler down on the grass before laying out the blanket. Dean looked up at his husband. “Sound good?”  
  
    Castiel nodded, following Dean’s lead and settling on to the thick, flannel blanket. He crossed his legs in front of himself, waiting patiently as Dean opened to cooler and began to take things out from inside.   
  
    “You made this?” Castiel asked, looking with interest at the wedge-shaped sandwiches wrapped tightly in cling wrap and the round container of potato salad.   
  
    “Yep,” Dean replied. handing him a plate. “I think this is one of the best sandwiches known to mankind. I hope you like it.”  
  
    Cas scrutinized the layers of meat, cheese, marinated peppers, and olives between the crusty slices of bread. His stomach rumbled.   
  
    “It looks very good,” he commented, discarding the wrapper into Dean’s outstretched hand. Dean tucked it away in a empty plastic bag before twisting the cap off of a cold bottle and passing it to Cas. “What’s in it?”  
  
    “What _isn’t_ in it,” Dean chuckled. “Turkey, ham, fire-roasted tomatoes, cheese, peppers... everything and the kitchen sink. The key is getting everything smashed together over night.”  
  
    Castiel nodded sagely.   
      
    “So this was what was under the cast iron pan filled with bean in the fridge,” he remarked. Dean chuckled, pulling the lid from his own bottle and taking a drink. Castiel examined the beverage. “Are we drinking alcohol? Because one of us has to drive home...”  
  
    “It’s root beer,” Dean told him, grimacing. “You can’t drink right now anyway, so I thought this would be an okay substitute.”  
  
    Castiel fought the urge to smile, nodding in agreement as he took a sip of the sweet, bubbly soda. Dean served portions of potato salad onto their paper plates and they settled down to eat, enjoying the cool weather and the warm sun. Dean recounted stories of his own experience with learning to drive, consciously making them more lighthearted and funny for the Angel’s sake. Castiel had to stop eating when Dean began telling him the story of his actual driving test, administered by a man who looked so old that one more quick stop might pop him out of existence. Dean thumped the Angel on the back as Cas choked on his laughter.   
  
    “I think,” Castiel spoke, coughing. “That soda went up my nose....it burned.”  
  
    Dean laughed heartily, giving the Angel another pat on the back before gently rubbing the spot between his shoulder blades.  
  
    “Sorry babe,” he said, “I’ll wait until you’re not drinking next time.”  
  
    “Appreciated,” Cas replied, wiping his nose on a napkin and clearing his throat. “Were you nervous to take your driving test?”  
  
    “Nah,” Dean said, shaking his head. “And you shouldn’t be either. It’s going to be great. You’ve got it, no problem.”  
  
    “Thank you, Dean,” Cas said with a soft smile, looking up at the hunter. His eyes traveled over Dean’s face a moment; the freckled skin, the long lashes, and the beautiful green eyes.   
  
    Dean watched Cas set his plate aside and crawl across the blanket to settle at his side. The Angel’s eyes narrowed as he stared into Dean’s face.  
  
    “What?” Dean asked, slightly amused by the behavior. Castiel sighed, softly.  
  
    “Thank you,” he said, and before Dean could question the sentiment, he continued. “For caring about me. For... wanting my happiness.”  
  
    “Easy as breathing,” Dean assured him. He reached out, his fingers brushing through the front of Castiel’s dark, wavy hair. “You don’t gotta thank me.”  
  
    “But, to be so concerned for my well-being... to plan this afternoon...” Castiel shook his head. “It’s very kind of you. Very... sweet. You... are very good to me.”  
  
    Dean blushed, shifting his position, but his lips pulled in a pleased grin.   
  
    “You ever just going to accept it’s because I love you?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow in question. Castiel just smiled.   
  
    Dean leaned over, tilting his head so he could kiss the Angel. Cas leaned in to him, slipping one arm around the hunter’s neck and kissing him back with equal enthusiasm. Dean sat his plate to the side so he could turn to Cas, pulling the Angel into his arms. Castiel hummed with happiness, falling to the blanket with Dean and laying against his chest. Dean looked up into Cas’s face, giving him a happy smile and reaching up to touch the Angel’s cheek. Castiel’s eyes narrowed as he looked down at the hunter, his green eyes starring evenly back.  
  
    “You’re beautiful,” Dean murmured, hesitating a moment before adding. “Damn you.”  
  
    Cas squinted his eyes.   
  
    “...excuse me?”  
  
    “Damn you,” Dean repeated, his grin broadening. “Every time I think we’re just going to have a moment as friends just hanging out, or even a super hot make-out session, I wind up being mushy as fuck.”  
      
    “Apologies,” Cas smiled, but didn’t make any movement to move himself from laying over Dean’s body. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of the hunter’s nose. Dean sighed.   
  
    “Mushy. As. Fuck,” he chuckled, cupping Castiel’s face so he could kiss him properly. He intended just to give one more kiss, but it transitioned so nicely into a second and a third and... and who really knew when a kiss ended when it was just warm mouths slowly exploring... and it was so nice. Dean slipped his arms around Cas’s neck, and the Angel settled more comfortably against him.    
       
    Thunder rumbled over head, but they ignored it. The clouds had seemed to grow thicker, blocking out more of the sunlight than before and making the temperature a few degrees cooler, but Cas’s body was warm, so Dean didn’t care. The weather was still bright and beautiful, and laying with Cas in his arms was still like one hell of a fantasy.   
  
    The first drop of rain hit Cas on the back of the neck, and he pulled away from his husband to turn to the sky. The second hit his cheek. It was impossible to tell where the third hit, as the clouds seemed to split and rained poured down upon them.   
  
    “Shit!” Dean exclaimed, and they two scrambled to their feet. Luckily, Dean had already returned the food containers to the cooler, but he made a mad dash to throw their trash into a plastic sack. “Go get in the car,” he told Castiel. “I got this.”  
  
    “But-”  
  
    “Go!”  
  
    Castiel picked up the cooler and placed it in the back of the Impala before settling in the passenger seat. Dean was not far behind, shoving the trash bag and blanket into the foot of the backseat, slamming the door and joining Cas up front. Dean shook the water from his hair, peeling off his jacket and tossing it into the back as Cas did the same.   
  
    “Well,” Dean said, sighing heavily. “Rain wasn’t in the forecast today.” he looked over at his damp husband. The Angel had stripped down to his T-shirt, using his sweater to rub the water from his hair. “Sorry, babe.”  
  
    Castiel smiled at him.   
  
    “It was worth it.”  
  
    Dean shook his head, shrugging.   
  
    “I meant it to be a nice afternoon,” he sighed, rubbing a hand through his damp hair before peeling the wet flannel from his arms. “I thought, you know, just you and me... some food... just hanging out...” he sighed again. “Fucking rain.”  
  
    Castiel turned to look at the windshield and the steady sheet of rain pelting the car, blurring the view of the green field beyond. The windows were already starting to fog from the warmth of their breath against the cool glass. He turned back to Dean who was looking forlornly down at the t-shirt sticking in places to his skin. Castiel reached out, taking the hunter’s hand.  
  
    “It’s perfect.” he insisted.   
  
    Dean turned to the Angel, grinning at the smile on his face. He stretched out his arm and Cas moved in to settle at his side. Dean gave him a squeeze, leaning to kiss Castiel on the temple.  
  
    “Yeah, I guess it’s not bad.”  
  
    Castiel made a soft sound of agreement and the two sat quietly together, listening to the rain thundering on the metal overhead. Dean’s left hand closed over Castiel’s, slotting their fingers together and their wedding bands catching on each other. It made Dean grin, and he raised their hands to his lips to kiss Cas’s knuckles.   
  
    “So...” Dean began, pressing another kiss to the side of the Angel’s hair. “We’re probably going to be here for a bit... rain seems pretty intense.... what should we do?”  
  
    Castiel considered the question.   
  
    “Did you make dessert?” he asked, tilting his head so he could look up at Dean. Dean chuckled.   
  
    “Maybe,” he replied. “You interested?”  
  
    “Yes,” Castiel answered with a nod of his head. Dean leaned into the back seat, popping open the cooler and pulling out a container and two plastic spoons. Castiel eyed the dish with interest.   
  
    “I hope you like it,” Dean spoke, handing the food to Cas. “It was my first time making it and I’m not sure how well it keeps in the fridge.” Cas’s brow furrowed with curiosity and he opened the lid on the round, glass dish. Inside was a buttery-caramel colored sugar shell which appeared to be sitting atop a thick layer of custard. “Creme brulee.” Dean commented. “Jeff made that at the last dinner with had with them, and you mentioned you liked it so... so I asked for the recipe...”  
  
    “Dean that’s...” Cas began, looking up at the hunter. “That’s mushy as fuck. Thank you.”  
  
    Dean howled with laughter, but Cas ignored him in favor of taking a spoonful of the creamy custard and moaning with enjoyment. Dean continued to chuckle, but he too tasted a spoonful of the dessert, pretty pleased with the result.   
  
    “Alright,” Dean announced, leaning past Cas and picking up one of the library books from the floor. “You eat that. I’ll help pass the time.” Castiel settled comfortably against Dean’s chest and the hunter cleared his throat as he opened the book, flipping to the first page. “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Chapter 1; The Boy Who Lived. _Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much..._ ”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Castiel was happy to listen to Dean read, with the added enjoyment of finishing the decadent dish of custard all by himself. By the end of the third chapter of Harry Potter, the rain had died down and their clothes were mostly dry, so they put away the dishes and redressed to head back home.   
  
    It wasn’t the outing he had planned, but Dean had to admit to himself that it was enjoyable, just the same. Cas had taken to driving better than he had expected, and while the picnic was rained out, snuggling in the car and sharing body heat was better than laying on a blanket in the sun. And as much as Dean inwardly teased Castiel’s taste in literature, the book was actually pretty entertaining - made doubly so by Cas’s constant huffs of indignation at every slight and mistreatment to the poor orphaned character. Reading wasn’t exactly the hobby he had in mind when he had asked Cas if there were things he wanted to do in life, but it would have to do for now.   
  
    As Dean drove, listening to the 80’s pop tunes that made Cas smile, his phone buzzed with an arriving text. He glanced to the screen.  
  
    “It’s Sammy,” he spoke, handing the cell phone to Castiel. “What’s it say?”  
  
    Castiel studied the message.   
  
    “It says if we are stopping somewhere, we need diapers,” he replied. His brow furrowed. “For such tiny bodies that eat tiny amounts, babies eliminate quite a lot of waste.”  
  
    “Little shits,” Dean remarked with a grin. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    “Not the last diaper I changed...” he replied.  
  
    “Oh my god,” Dean laughed, pulling onto a street he knew would take them to their local market. “You are comedy gold today.”  
  
    Castiel gave his husband an unamused look and turned his attention back to the cook book in his hands. Dean pulled the car to a stop in front of the store.   
  
    “I’ll be right back,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt. “We need anything besides diapers?”  
  
    “More pudding,” Cas replied seriously, turning a page. Dean shook his head.   
  
    “Gotcha.” he said. “Sit tight.”  
  
    Dean made a bee line through the store straight to the baby care isle, picking up the largest pack of diapers he could get in Mary’s size. He tried not to think about how quickly she was moving from one size to the next since his little girl did seem to be hitting milestones earlier than other babies her age, but he chalked it up to her being part Angel. She was bound to be a little ahead of the game and certainly gifted - just look at her parents.   
  
    After diapers, he grabbed a couple ingredients to make a new batch of creme brulee and went to the checkout lane. When he got back to the car, he was surprised to find it empty.  
  
    “Cas?” he spoke loudly, dropping his shopping bags in the back seat and looking around the car. “Cas!?”  
  
    He turned on the spot, looking around at the other cars, the cart corrals, and the other shoppers moving in to the store or back to their vehicles. His heart was just starting to kick into high speed when he caught sight of his husband at the far end of the parking lot, sitting on the curb beside a pile of rags. Dean squinted, finding it hard to see the distance, and he locked the car before walking toward Castiel.  
  
    Cas looked up as Dean approached, and as the hunter drew nearer he could see that what Cas was sitting beside was not a pile of rags, but an elderly woman dressed in an assortment of worn, frayed clothes. The woman had two of the neatly wrapped sandwich that had been left over from lunch and her outermost layer of clothing was Castiel’s spring jacket. The Angel was holding the woman’s hands in his, and Dean stopped just within ear shot.    
  
    “Our father has not forsaken you,” Castiel was speaking gently, his large hands holding tightly to hers. “You have not been forgotten. Sometimes we are faced with trials that test our faith, but know that it is not the Lord who is testing you. The freedom of free will leaves many paths to be traveled, and not all of them are easy. But you were created to persevere. You were created in a Godly image. Have faith in yourself that you can overcome.”  
  
    The woman spoke tearfully, her voice too low for Dean to make out, but he felt he was intruding as it was. But he continued to stare at Cas, a feeling of warmth and pride filling him as he watched the Angel console the poor woman. These were the things that he wanted Cas to be able to do; Angelic things. It was part of Castiel to be an Angel, to minister to his father’s creation. Dean supposed he didn’t need to do anything special to accomplish that - Cas was Angel. Being Angelic was his nature. No special hobby or job needed.   
  
    Castiel said something else, but his voice too was now too quiet for Dean to discern the words. The woman nodded, and Castiel kneeled at her side, the low thrum of his voice all that was audible before he stood. Dean turned when Cas approached and the two walked back to the Impala in silence. Once they settled inside, the Angel finally spoke.   
  
    “There is a lot of suffering on this planet,” he observed, his voice quiet but neutral.  
  
    “We’ve seen a fair bit of it ourselves,” Dean replied, starting the car. Castiel nodded.   
  
    “But we have so much now. We are... truly blessed.”  
  
    Dean grimaced.  
  
    “You feel guilty about that?” he asked, glancing to the man at his side. “That we have so much while some have so little?”  
  
    Castiel shook his head.   
  
    “You deserve infinite blessings, Dean,” he replied. “I feel grateful. I have empathy for those who go without, but I cannot wish less for us, for Mary. For...” his hand rested over his belly, and he looked down at the bump with affection. “For our family... Oh. I’m sorry about the jacket. I know it was new.”  
  
    “No problem,” Dean assured him. “I can buy you another. Like you said, we’re blessed. What you did... that was great. Our kids are going to have a great example to live by.” Dean kept his eyes on the road, but he reached over to touch the Angel’s cheek. Castiel smiled.   
  
    “This day was beautiful,” he said decidedly. “Thank you, Dean.”  
  
    Dean smiled, resting his hand on the Angel’s thigh.  
  
    Yeah, mushy as fuck. He’d take it.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  



	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Any advice?” Sam asked. Dean smirked, taking a deep breath and looking up into the navy blue sky.  
> “Like Cas and I’ve been married long enough to have all the answers?” he asked in response. Sam shrugged, setting forward and leaning his elbows on his thighs.   
> “You guys are so happy - like, obscenely happy,” he said. “...I want that. I want that for Jess.”  
> Dean thought a moment before he spoke.   
> “None of it’s my doing, Sam,” he answered, quietly. Sam frowned, but remained quiet to encourage his brother to continue. “It’s Cas.... I’m happy because Cas.” he was quiet another moment before he continued, giving a light laugh before speaking. “You know, marriage isn’t really what I was expecting it to be,” he admitted. “Nothing like it.”  
> Sam made a slight grimacing smile, narrowing his eyes at his brother.  
> “You’re kidding me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for the update for those of you still reading. I've been so busy with life that it's been hard to carve time out for writing, and I was really rather unhappy with this chapter as something to put out for others to read (even though, that's pretty much this whole story!). Anyway, I hope you like. :) It hasn't been beta read, so please point out any oddness. I'll appreciate it.

    “It’s a monsoon out there!”  
  
    Dean stood back and let the new arrivals into the house to close their umbrellas and strip from their rain splattered coats before starting a round of hugs.  
  
    “We just hope it clears up by Sunday,” Dean stated, releasing his hold on Jimmy to accept the next embrace from Amelia. “God, look at you!” he said to her, gesturing awkwardly toward her midsection. “You look amazing.”  
  
    Amelia smiled warmly, patting the small, but noticeable, swell of her belly - which was even more pronounced by the seaming of her maternity blouse.    
  
    “I want to complain,” she told him. “But, I can’t really. We’re so excited, and I’m not far enough along to get away with being too grumpy.”  
  
    Dean grinned, nodding in understanding as he accepted a hug from Claire next.  
  
    “Where’s Mary?” was the first thing out of the young woman’s mouth before her arms were even all the way around Dean.   
  
    “Claire,” Jimmy chastised with a frown, even as Dean chuckled. “You haven’t seen Dean for months. Is this how you greet someone?”  
  
    Claire gave a small smile, turning her blue eyes up to the hunter.   
  
    “Hi, uncle Dean,” she spoke with an amused grin. Dean gave a pleased smile, patting her head.   
  
    “Hey sport,” he replied. “Mary’s up in the nursery getting a bath from her dad. You can go up and help out, if you want.”  
  
    Claire stripped off her shoes and rushed up the staircase before Jimmy or Amelia had a chance to tell her anything else. Jimmy shook his head, pulling off his own shoes and setting them on the rubber mat by the door where all the other shoes were lined up to dry.   
  
    “Sorry about that,” he told Dean. “She hasn’t talked about anything but seeing Mary since we got the invitation.”  
  
    Dean shook his head, turning to lead them into the kitchen.   
  
    “It’s no trouble,” he insisted. “I like that she feels as though we’re family... that this is really her uncles’ house.”  
  
    “You _are_ family, Dean,” Amelia said simply.  
  
    Dean continued to grin, a light pink tinging his cheeks.   
  
    “Let me get y’all some drinks,” he said, opening a cabinet and removing a couple glass tumblers. “I got bottled water, juice, Sprite, wine, and beer.” he grinned at Amelia. “You just want to chug it straight from the bottle?”  
  
    “Juice is fine,” she replied, shaking her head at his juvenile behavior and the way it made her husband chuckle. The group was interrupted when Sam came into the room.   
  
    “I thought I heard more voices!” he exclaimed, exchanging a warm hug with Jimmy.  
  
    “Not just the ones in your head, hm?” Jimmy teased.   
  
    Sam rolled his eyes, moving on to hug Mrs. Novak.   
  
    “Thanks for coming out here for the wedding,” he said. “Jess will be thrilled.”  
  
    “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Jimmy told him. He grinned at Sam and continued. “Although, I’m sorry I missed the bachelor party. I heard it was delightful.”   
  
    Sam blushed, laughing involuntarily and running a hand through his hair. His eyes darted nervous to Amelia and to Dean who was smiling way too broadly.   
  
    “Yeah, um, yeah,” Sam replied, pushing his hands down into his pockets and shifting his weight from foot to foot. “It wasn’t bad. We went out to dinner... we had some beers... it was... it was good.”  
  
    Amelia raised an eyebrow, giving Sam and Dean an incredulous look.  
  
    “Why do I have a feeling there is a joke in there somewhere?” she asked, taking the glass of grape juice that Dean handed her.  “An inappropriate joke.”  
  
    “Nothing too inappropriate,” Dean assured her. “It was a combo party. Sam’s friends from college; Jess and her girlfriends and sisters; some friends from work.” his grin returned. “My buddy Jeff’s husband picked the locale. It was awesome.”  
  
      Sam blushed and shook his head, and Dean gave him a hearty thump on the back.   
  
    Ever since their first meeting before Christmas, the Winchester household had struck up an easy friendship with Jeff and Mark from next door. Dean had even taken to accompanying Jeff to the gym to play basketball (the least offensive form of exercise for Dean) several times a month. Mark, who was the more social of the two, had recommended a popular nightclub for the bachelor/bachelorette party that had mixed gender live entertainment. Jessica had decided, with the help of one too many cocktails, that the only one giving Sam a lap dance was her. Sam had never much liked to be the center of attention, but smiled and blushed when the entire club was applauding Jessica’s skills.   
  
    “Well, anyway,” Sam continued, clearing his throat. “You guys are here in time to come to the rehearsal dinner and then the wedding, and that’s what matters.”  
  
    He pulled out a chair from under the dinning room table so Amelia could sit, and he settled in the seat next to her.   
  
    “Where is Jessica?” she asked.   
  
    “She’s out with her sisters getting some last minute things.” Sam explained. “But she’ll definitely be back before we go out to dinner tonight.”  
  
    “If it ever quits raining so we can get out to dinner tonight,” Dean said with a frown, looking out the patio door at the rain still pouring steadily from the grey sky. Amelia turned to Sam.  
  
    “I didn’t see any rain in the forecast this weekend. What's the prediction?” she asked.   
  
    “Some clouds, but mostly sunny and in the mid-eighties.” Sam replied. “We’re really hoping that it won’t rain. But, the wedding planner says we have a back-up plan.” he reached out to the middle of the table where a large white binder lay in the center beside a bowl of apples. He pulled it toward himself and opened the cover. “The planner has been really helpful. I wasn’t sure what we’d have to sacrifice since we cut our timeline in half, but you’d think we’d be planning for a year with some of the stuff she put together.”    
  
    Amelia scooted closer to Sam to look at the wedding book, interested in the small fabric swatches pinned to pages and diagrams of seating charts. Dean gave a jerk of his toward the other room, and Jimmy followed him out of the kitchen.   
  
    “Did Sam really have someone put money in his pants at the party?” Jimmy asked as the two men climbed the stairs to the second floor. Dean gave an amused snort.   
  
    “He went to the bathroom and came back with enough singles to buy the next round of drinks.”  
  
    Jimmy was chuckling as they entered the nursery where Claire and Cas were tending to the baby. Little Mary was splashing happily in her infant tub, squealing with delight at all of the attention.   
  
    “Hey precious,” Jimmy greeted the child, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Mary babbled excitedly, slapping her hands against the water and turning to the newest arrival. The bright smile on the baby’s face faded, and she looked with concern from Jimmy to Cas. When her eyes landed on Dean, she began to giggle anew. Jimmy sighed. “Man, she’s getting so big.”  
  
    “No, she’s still tiny,” Dean assured him, ruffling the baby’s damp curls. Claire filled a small cup with water, rinsing the suds from Mary’s chubby arms.   
  
    “She’ll seem big when the new babies come,” she commented, glancing from the baby to Cas, her eyes making a small shift to his abdomen and back up to his face. “Don’t you think?”  
  
    “Comparatively, I suppose,” Castiel agreed, turning his head as Mary began to happily thrash her feet in the water. “Dean, could you hand me that towel?”  
  
    Cas lifted the baby from the tub and Dean wrapped her in a fluffy blue towel covered in a puppy dog print. The Angel relinquished the child to her other father, watching a moment as Dean peppered the baby with kisses. Mary shrieked with delight, reaching up to grasp his scruffy jaw with her tiny fingers. She cooed adoringly up at his smiling face.   
  
    “I’m going to go change,” Castiel announced, indicating the damp shirt he was wearing. “If you can dress her, please?”  
  
    “No prob,” Dean assured him. “I got this.”  
  
    Claire was offering her assistance with the baby as Cas turned and crossed the hall. Jimmy tagged along behind him.   
  
    “Hey,” his former vessel spoke, stopping Castiel as he pulled a new shirt from the closet. Cas raised an eyebrow, and Jimmy nervously shoved his hands in his pockets. “How’re you feeling? Is it... getting any better?”  
  
    “I’m well,” Cas assured him, resisting the urge to touch his abdomen. “I’ve stopped feeling the ill effects of the shift in grace, if that is what you are referring to. So I am... quite well.”  
  
    Jimmy smiled, nodding his head. It was odd to look at Cas and know that there was a baby growing inside of him somehow. Dean had forwarded him the picture of Castiel displaying his subtly swollen belly, and Jimmy had to say it was damn adorable - if he did say so himself. Although, it did cause him to add extra core workouts to his fitness regimen. But the Angel didn’t appear any further along than he had those many weeks ago when Dean had sent the text. As a matter of fact, in his loose fitting shirt, it was almost impossible to tell he was anything other than in the same slim and athletic shape Jimmy was. He was to the point now where he really stopped seeing Castiel as just occupying his “old” body; that Cas really was a human independent of himself. And he was happy for the Angel and Dean.  
  
    “You’re just a little shy of how far along Amelia is, right?” Jimmy asked, watching Castiel fold the dry shirt he had selected.   
  
    “I believe she is three weeks farther along than I, if you are thinking in strictly human biological terms,” Cas replied. Jimmy nodded, running a hand through his hair, which he noticed he kept shorter and more controlled than the Angel.   
  
    “And we’re both having boys,” he pointed out. “That’s pretty cool, huh?”  
  
    Castiel nodded, looking past the young human to his husband in the room across the hall.   
  
    “Very...”  
  
    “When Ames was pregnant with Claire,” Jimmy continued, “She craved lime sherbet and low mein.” he gave a bit of a shudder. “At least this time around it’s potatoes and sour cream.”  
  
    Castiel nodded in understanding, his brow furrowing.  
      
    “Yes, cravings...”  
  
    Jimmy grinned.  
  
    “So, what about you?”  
  
    Castiel’s eyes narrowed, and it was clear he was considering the question. He had a feeling that, as much as Dean regarded Jimmy as another brother, it would be inappropriate for Castiel to tell him what he was really feeling. After Cas had overcome the “morning sickness” phase of gestation, he did start to have unusual human hungers, but not for food. The thing that he noticed was an increased need for physical contact from his husband. They had already had an active sexual life, but Castiel’s need for simply touching and holding had become intensified.   
  
    “Macaroni and cheese,” he finally replied. “Dean makes it for me.”  
  
    “That’s nice,” Jimmy replied, rocking back and forth on his feet as he tried to continue the conversation. “Is it the kind from the box or the baked kind?”  
  
    “It finishes in the oven for the topping to brown,” Cas explained. “But, he makes it in a pan on the stove with cream and shredded cheese...”  
  
    “Nice,” Jimmy smiled, turning to look over his shoulder as Dean entered the room.   
  
    “What are you two talking about?” Dean asked, eyeing them suspiciously. Jimmy’s grin remained.   
  
    “Cas was just telling me how you make homemade mac and cheese for him, you sweetheart.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, shrugging, and rubbing a hand over the back of his hair.    
  
    “It’s the least I can do.”  
  
    “Yeah, well, once we get settled,” Jimmy told him. “You’ll have to invite us over for dinner sometime.”  
  
    “Hell yeah,” Dean agreed. “We’ll have dinners all the time.”  
  
    Aside from being in town for the wedding, Jimmy was attending his orientation as a new administrative officer in Dean and Sam’s office. And soon, the Novak’s would be pulling up their roots in Illinois and moving to California. Dean was thrilled. He liked Jimmy, and felt sort of a personal responsibility for making sure that he and his family were taken care of and happy - after all, he felt that it was his fault that the supernatural even came into the Novak’s lives.   
  
    “Well, I’ll let you get changed, Cas,” Jimmy said. He gave Dean a thump on the arm as he passed. “I’ll meet you all downstairs.”  
  
    Castiel waited for the human to leave before he began undoing the buttons on his shirt. Dean shut the door.   
  
    “You doin’ okay?” Dean asked, taking the damp shirt that Castiel peeled from his body.   
  
    “I’m fine,” Cas replied, pulling the dry shirt over his head. He looked down at himself, scrutinizing his appearance. “Does this look presentable for going out for dinner?” he asked.   
  
    “Good enough to eat,” Dean replied with a leering grin. It disappeared when Cas turned a cool, narrow-eyed gaze his way.   
  
    “Is... is that a flirtation?” he asked. Dean chuckled, crossing to the Angel and slipping his arms around Cas’s waist.   
  
    “Damn right,” he purred, taking advantage of being in a closed room in order to give Castiel a bit of affection, since the next week would probably have them getting little time together. Dean couldn’t help but pull Castiel’s hips in close as he kissed him deeply. He could feel Cas’s body relax against his, and the Angel made a motion to raise his arms around Dean’s neck. He stopped abruptly.   
  
    “Dean,” Castiel spoke, pulling away. “I’m... I’m becoming aroused. We should... stop.”  
  
    Dean sighed, giving the older man one last kiss before letting him go.   
  
    “I’ll meet you downstairs.” he said with a wink, turning and leaving his husband to finish getting cleaned up.   
  
    Thankfully, the rain died down by the time they were ready to leave, and they had a lively celebratory dinner at a trendy restaurant downtown. Everyone wanted an opportunity to hold the baby, and she was happy with the attention, but would cry and hold her arms out to Dean every time she realized that the man holding her was Jimmy and not her own daddy. After the second time this happened, she became reluctant to go to Cas as if she were just being duped. By the end of the meal, Castiel had the infant laying contentedly against his shoulder, listening to him murmur quietly since she took solace in the sound of his voice. Jimmy took the seat next to Cas, and Mary let him hold her hand and even smiled at him once or twice, but when he would hold his hands out to her, she would turn her face down against her father’s neck.   
  
    By the time the weekend rolled around, Mary was comfortable with Jimmy and was going to him without hesitation, but when she saw Castiel she would cry until he scooped her up into his arms and held her tightly.  
  
    On Saturday, the night before the wedding, the three families got together at the Winchester’s small townhome to have dinner together. After an amazing meal prepared by Dean and Mrs. Winchester, they sat on the back patio sharing stories and reminiscing about the good things in the past. One by one, as the sun began to sink in the sky, those around the table left until it was just Dean and Sam sitting alone in the cool California spring night. They weren’t talking, merely sharing the silence together. After twenty minutes of quiet, Sam turned to his brother.   
  
    “Any advice?” he asked. Dean smirked, taking a deep breath and looking up into the navy blue sky.  
  
    “Like Cas and I’ve been married long enough to have all the answers?” he asked in response. Sam shrugged, setting forward and leaning his elbows on his thighs.   
  
    “You guys are so happy - like, obscenely happy,” he said. “...I want that. I want that for Jess.”  
  
    Dean thought a moment before he spoke.   
  
    “None of it’s my doing, Sam,” he answered, quietly. Sam frowned, but remained quiet to encourage his brother to continue. “It’s Cas.... I’m happy because _Cas_.” he was quiet another moment before he continued, giving a light laugh before speaking. “You know, marriage isn’t really what I was expecting it to be,” he admitted. “Nothing like it.”  
  
    Sam made a slight grimacing smile, narrowing his eyes at his brother.  
  
    “You’re kidding me?”  
  
    Dean shrugged, rubbing a hand over his neck.  
  
    “Nah, seriously. I used to think marriage was more... struggling and bickering... more... feeling trapped and suffocated...wanting space... Like is was a duty. A job.” he gave another self-conscious laugh. “And every tv show and magazine article had prepared me for marriage being the end of sex, which is _totally_ not true.”  
  
    Sam smiled broadly before both laughed in amusement, and they clanked the sides of their beer bottles together before taking a drink.    
  
    “So I guess,” Dean continued with a sigh. “If I have any advice to pass on, it’s just...Just love her back as much as she loves you,” he look over at his brother. “And you’ll be okay. Just never forget that’s what it’s about. That you love her. And everything else be damned.”  
  
    Sam nodded, taking a long drink from his beer. It was good to hear that from his brother; good to hear Dean say something so heartfelt without reservation (even if it came at the end of a joke). Sam used to always think he and his brother were as close as possible, but he never really took into account how much they were separating themselves by hiding emotions and holding back feelings. Trying to protect each other from pain was only creating a distance that they couldn’t see. But over the last several months, Dean was loosening up, becoming comfortable in his new life. Slowly, but surely, Dean was stripping back years of emotional barriers, finally letting people see the man he really was: a strong, funny, loyal, and loving individual who just wanted to be happy. And Sam could finally have those ‘feelings’ talks with his brother that he couldn’t before - not that Dean really would have denied him if pressed, but because Sam didn’t want to burden him with any more. Now they could just be brothers without all the extra complications. Sam knew it would still be a while before Dean was completely comfortable with his new life - he still showed anxiety over every purchase and was certainly hoarding money - but Sam couldn’t be more happy for his older brother. And now that Dean was getting the peace that he deserved, it was easier for Sam to enjoy his own good fortune without guilt.    
  
    Dean watched Sam as the younger Winchester seemed to be quietly contemplating his words. Dean nudged his brother’s foot with his own.  
  
    “You ready?” he asked. Sam smiled.  
  
    “More than.”  
  
    The back door slid open, drawing their attention, and Castiel stepped out onto the porch.   
  
    “Do you need another beer, Dean? Sam?” he asked.  Sam looked up and smiled, shaking his head.   
  
    “No, thanks though Cas,” he said, rising from his chair. “I really should turn in.” He gave the Angel a tight hug. He hoped Cas could sense his gratitude; all his love for the man who loved his brother. “Good night.”  
  
    “Good night, Sam,” Cas replied, patting the younger Winchester on the back as he passed. He looked to Dean next, tilting his head to the side. “Would you like something else to drink? Coffee, maybe?”  
  
    “Nah,” Dean replied, setting his empty bottle on the patio table. “If I drink any more I’ll be up all night pissing,” Castiel nodded sagely in agreement. Dean grinned. “C’mere, you,” he spoke, putting a hand on the back of the Angel’s thigh and urging him closer. Castiel settled on the hunter’s lap, and let Dean slip his arms around his waist. Dean placed a warm kiss on the side of the Angel’s neck.   
  
    “Sam seems in good spirits,” Castiel commented. “With his wedding day being tomorrow. “  
  
    “Mm,” Dean said in agreement, pleased with the way Cas tilted his head and allowed him more access to his throat.   
  
    “I’m happy for him. I hope it’s as perfect as our wedding day.”  
  
    Dean smiled, leaning back in the chair and running his hand down the Angel’s spine.   
  
    “It was perfect, wasn’t it,” he said softly. Castiel shifted in Dean’s lap, turning to look down at him. Dean smiled. “Well, c’mon Angel,” he spoke, urging Cas to stand. “We need to get some sleep.”  
  
    Castiel took his husband’s hand, and let him lead him into the house, waiting patiently while Dean locked the back door. Once Dean was sure it was locked tight, they went into the living room. Mary and Bobby were speaking to Sam by the door. Mary smiled at her older son and Cas when she spotted them.   
  
    “Good night, boys,” she spoke, moving to embrace them both. “I’ll see you in the morning.”  
  
    “You two didn’t have to get hotel rooms,” Dean grumbled - for the hundredth time since they had arrived. “Cas and I could have taken the couch this time.”  
  
    “Couldn’t hear of it,” Mary insisted. “We couldn’t have Cas sleeping on the couch. He needs to be in his own bed, with that little one on the way,” she smiled proudly, pulling the Angel into an embrace. “Besides, It will be busy enough in here tomorrow. We’ll get ready at the hotel and meet you here for breakfast. That way we can all drive together to the ceremony site,” she turned to Sam. “Oh, I can’t believe my baby is getting married!”  
  
    “Ah, mom,” Sam replied, hugging her tightly.   
  
    After everyone had a chance to say good night, Dean walked Mary and Bobby to their car. As Cas was turning to head upstairs, Sam stopped him by calling his name.  
  
    “Hey... Cas?”  
  
    The Angel turned back to his brother-in-law, raising an eyebrow in question.  
  
    “Yes, Sam?”  
  
    Sam gave a grimacing smile, pushing one hand into his pocket while the other ran nervously through his hair.   
  
    “Can...Can you - er, I mean,” he began. “Can I ask you to do something for me?”  
  
    “Of course,” the Angel agreed, looking at the younger man with concern. “Anything.”  
  
    “Thanks,” Sam replied, “Um, come with me.”  
  
    Castiel narrowed his eyes in curiosity, but followed Sam through the house and down to the younger Winchester’s room. Once they reached the bedroom Sam turned, taking a nervous, deep breath.   
  
    “Cas,” he said. “Would you... pray with me?”  
  
    Castiel felt a weight lift from him, and he smiled softly at Sam.   
  
    “Of course,” he replied with a nod. Sam gave a sigh of relief, his own expression softening and he sat on the end of the bed. Castiel came to stand in front of him, resting a hand on the younger man’s head. He closed his eyes, and Sam followed suit.   
  
    “Father,” the Angel began, “We humbly thank you for all of the gifts and blessings you have bestowed upon this family, upon your child whom I now look upon as my own, dearest kin.” Sam grinned, keeping his eyes closed as he listened to Castiel’s deep, even voice. “We thank you for allowing the blessing of Jessica to be in our lives, and for healing this family’s wounds with your divine gift of love. Father, I pray that you will look after this young man, this young woman, this young family as they begin their marriage together. I pray that you will bless their union and fill it with happiness, joy, and new life. As Sam and Jessica embark on this new chapter of their life together, please keep them in your mercy, in your will, and in your grace. Amen.”  
  
    “Amen,” Sam whispered, rising to his feet and brushing a tear from his eye. He gave a laugh, rubbing his neck. “Thank you, Cas. That was... that was perfect.”  
  
    “You’re welcome, Sam,” he replied. “I’m glad that there was something I could do for you,”  
  
    “Man,” Sam told him, shaking his head. “You’ve... you’ve done the most important thing I could ever want. You... “ he took a deep breath. “You saved my brother. And... and I can’t thank you enough.”  
  
    Castiel blushed, lowering his gaze.   
  
    “That was not a completely selfless act,” he said, shyly. “He... he is everything to me.”  
  
    Sam smiled, impulsively pulling the other man into his arms.   
  
    “Thanks, Cas,” he said again.   
  
    “You’re welcome,” Castiel replied, a smile on his face when the taller man pulled away. “I... I feel truly blessed to be a part of this family,”  
  
    Sam shrugged, reaching out to gently press a hand to the small swell of Angel’s abdomen.   
  
    “Where would we be if not for you...” He spoke quietly. He pulled his hand back, pushing his hands into his pockets. “You’ve... you’ve restored my faith in god.”  
  
    Castiel’s jaw tightened and he looked as though he now had tears in his eyes. Sam was surprised when the Angel hugged him again.   
  
    “That is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me,” he said sincerely. “With the exception of your brother admitting his love for me,” Sam laughed out loud as Cas pulled back. “That sounds blasphemous, I know but... thank you, Sam.”  
  
    Sam nodded, smiling.   
  
    “Thank you, Cas... I’ll let you get on your way to bed now.”  
  
    Castiel nodded as well.  
  
    “You too. Good night,”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
       
    When Castiel went up to his room, Dean was coming out of the bathroom already dressed for bed. He smiled at Cas.  
  
    “Where you been?” he asked. Castiel smiled, letting Dean rest his hands on his hips. Dean looked curiously at his husband as he lifted his hand to wipe away the near dry tear from under the Angel’s eye. “...you okay?”  
  
    “Yes,” Cas replied, nodding. “Sam... Sam asked me to pray with him. That made me feel very... important to him. Very much like family.”  
  
    Dean’s smile softened and he wrapped his arms around the Angel.  
  
    “Of course you’re important. And you’re family.” he pressed a kiss to the shorter man’s temple. “You always have been.” he rubbed a hand down Castiel’s back before giving him a thump. “Get ready for bed. We gotta get up early.”  
  
    Castiel did as instructed, washing up and dressing in his pajamas. He slipped into bed next to Dean and the hunter shut off the lights. Dean scooted closer to his husband, laying his arm over Castiel’s waist. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s, hugging it to him. They were quiet a moment before the Angel spoke.   
  
    “How long do you think it will be before Sam and Jessica have children?” he asked. He could hear Dean sigh.  
  
    “Soon probably, if they can help it.” he admitted. “It’s funny, I joked with him about hurrying up with that so our kids could grow up together, but now... the prospect of Sammy being a father... it’s a little weird.”  
  
    “Things are changing so much,” Castiel supplied, softly.   
  
    “Yeah” The hunter moved his arm, caressing his hand over Cas’s belly. “But, so much of it is good.” he leaned over, rubbing his jaw against the Angel’s neck before planting a firm kiss there. Cas sighed contentedly, leaning into Dean’s body. Dean continued speaking. “And more things will change. If Jess and Sam start a family, well... it’s getting pretty tight in here. I mean, even now we’re already outgrowing this house.”  
  
    Castiel turned to him, just able to make out his features in the darkness.   
  
    “What do you mean?”  
  
    “We’re going to need a bigger house soon,” Dean explained. “Even if Sam and Jess move out, we only have two bedrooms. Our kids need their own rooms. And we can’t put one in the basement with an outside exit, and we can’t move down there and leave the kids up here by themselves.”  
  
    “We-we won’t live with Sam?” Castiel asked, his brow furrowing. “And... you’d be okay with that?”  
  
    “I want what’s best for Sam and Jess,” Dean told him, “I want him to have a home of his own. To be able to have us over. To be able to invite them over... I dunno,” he shifted, his hold on the Angel tightening. “...having our own space wouldn’t be so bad.” Cas smiled, turning to snuggle in to Dean’s chest. Dean kissed his forehead, resting his chin atop Cas’s head. “We’ll worry about it later.” Castiel made a small sound of agreement, and it wasn’t long before he was asleep in Dean’s arms. Dean sighed contentedly, taking comfort in the warm body beside him. Part of him felt he should feel a little bit of panic over living in a separate house than Sam, but he supposed if the younger Winchester was still in the same _city_ , he would be able to deal. He had Cas and his children to worry about... his children. Just the sound of those two words made him smile.  
  
    “Good night, babe,” Dean murmured, kissing the top of the Angel’s head and closing his eyes. He fell asleep while thinking about what his life with Cas may look like in four or five years, how their children would grow, what his son may look like. Sometime in the night he dreamed of Sam and the fire, and he woke up in the early hours of dawn. A sadness lingered in his heart for a moment, but he stretched and blinked away the feeling, breathing a silent mantra that the past should no longer haunt him.   
  
     The room was quiet with the exception of each of Cas’s heavy exhales, and Dean watched him a moment as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. Since the Angel began sleeping regularly, he had preferred sleeping on his stomach when not spooned with Dean, but the last month had forced him on his back for the sake of his own comfort and Dean’s sanity. Dean smiled as he looked upon his husband, the last remnants of his troubled sleep slipping from his mind. Cas’s expression was relaxed and serene, his lips slightly parted, and his eyes moving rapidly beneath his lids. Dean wondered what could be happening in the Angel’s dreams.   
  
    Dean reached over and picked up his phone from the nightstand. It was only a bit past four, but he wasn’t feeling tired enough to try to go back to sleep. With a groan, he pulled himself from the bed, stretching his arms above his head as walked to the bathroom to tend the needs of his bladder. He took a couple minutes to clean up, snapping the light off before opening the door in hopes of minimizing disturbances to his sleeping husband. When he returned to the room however, Cas was watching him through narrowed eyes.   
  
    “Sorry,” Dean spoke quietly, setting back down on the bed and leaning in to kiss the Angel’s cheek. “Did I wake you?”  
  
    “The lack of you woke me,” Cas murmured, taking a deep breath and rolling onto his side. “It’s early, isn’t it? Are you alright?”  
  
    “Fine,” Dean assured him, slipping back beneath the comforter and laying at Cas’s side. “Just woke up is all. Maybe I’m nervous.”  
  
    “Nervous?” Castiel asked. “About what?”  
  
    Dean sighed, shaking his head.   
  
    “My little brother is getting married today,” he said. “It’s... it’s crazy.”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment, and Dean had wondered if he had fallen back to sleep.   
  
    “But Sam and Jessica are already a committed couple,” Cas pointed out. “How will marriage change this?”  
  
    Dean shrugged.   
  
    “It’s a... milestone,” he continued, lamely. “And one of those milestones I thought we’d never get to see. And every time we get to hit one - a good one - it makes me sort of...” he shrugged again, giving a weak smirk at his inability to complete the thought.   
  
    “Emotional?” Cas supplied. Dean sighed, turning toward Cas and pulling him close.   
  
    “I guess,” he conceded. As much as he was beginning to feel okay with emotions, admitting to them was still a bit of a pain in the ass. He chose to change the subject. “How about you?” he asked the Angel, watching Cas attempt to stifle a yawn. “How you doing?”  
  
    “Fine,” Castiel replied. “I’m happy for Sam and Jessica. True love and marriage is...” he was quiet a moment as he searched for the appropriate word. “ _Everything_.... everything good.”  
  
    Dean smiled, leaning forward and pressing his lips to the Angel’s. Cas’s mouth was soft and warm and inviting, and Dean had little inclination to stop from deepening the kiss. Castiel slipped his arm around Dean’s neck, and the hunter slid a hand down Cas’s muscular thigh, pulling it up over his own. They lay entwined with each other, kissing slowly while Dean gently ran his hand’s over Cas’s body.   
  
    “Sorry again for waking you, buddy,” Dean murmured when he pulled away, but his smile said otherwise. Cas returned the smile, his eyes heavy lidded and his expression serene.   
  
    “I’m not,” he replied, pressing his face down into the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean’s smile widened and he sighed.   
  
    “You’re right; I’m not either.”  
  
    He could feel Castiel chuckle and Dean continued to let his hands roam as they lay together in the dark. His fingers skimmed over the Angel’s side and down over the swell of his belly where he paused, pressing his palm against the smooth, rounded flesh. He knew that Cas wasn’t carrying their son in a traditional way, but he was still amazed by the just slight softness of his normally hard muscle.   
  
    “Talk to me about this,” Dean spoke quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of Cas’s hair.   
  
    “Well...” Castiel began, his voice rough and his breath warm on Dean’s throat. “Our child’s grace continues to grow and strengthen, concentrating itself within my vessel as he works to make a physical form...the physical manifestation of his presence is due to the grace contained in my vessel, but not _sharing_ my vessel... in the way angels do...”  
  
    “I know that part,” Dean laughed, kissing him again. “I mean, talk to me about how you’re doing. How you’re holding up... is it bothering you?”  
  
    Castiel opened his mouth to reply, and he paused a fraction of a second before he asked.   
  
    “...does it bother _you_?”  
  
    “Babe,” Dean said, giving the Angel a smirk. “I really hope you don’t think that. That you are brave enough to protect our baby from heaven by sharing your ‘vessel’, I think that’s all kinds of awesome.” his slid his hand back down Cas’s thigh, hooking his fingers behind the Angel’s knee and pulling him closer. “And I think you’re smokin’ hot.”  
  
    Castiel pressed closer to the hunter’s body, nuzzling Dean’s throat appreciatively.   
  
    “Thank you, Dean,” he spoke.   
  
    “So,” Dean tried the question again. “How’re you holding up?”  
  
    Castiel sighed heavily, pulling away so he could look into his husband’s face.   
  
    “Fine,” he replied. “It has very little affect on my day-to-day activities. Outgrowing my pants was not fun, I must admit... but, as Amelia is only weeks away from where I am, I consider myself lucky not to be expanding at the same rate she is...I just don’t want to stand out... in an inappropriate way.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, leaning in to press a kiss to Cas’s forehead.   
  
    “Well, you really can’t tell when you have your clothes on,” he said. “But you always stand out - because you are always the most handsome guy in the room.”  
  
    “Honestly, Dean,” Castiel sighed, letting Dean guide his head back to his shoulder.   
  
    They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, content with simply being close. Castiel slipped easily back to sleep being lulled by the soft stroking of Dean’s warm hand over his skin, and Dean lay in the dark, smiling to himself. He loved moments like these, just getting to share space with Cas, intimate and cozy. He never thought it was possible to genuinely _enjoy_ just laying with someone, almost sharing the same space, without having just completed an exhausting amount of physical exertion - or just about to start. But everything about Cas was perfect. It no longer made Dean questions his thoughts about the Angel, or specifically, the Angel’s vessel. He no longer second guessed why he enjoyed the masculine features, the strength behind soft skin, or the weight above him. So Cas was the first man to push him into a direction he was used to pretending didn’t exist, or rather, ignoring that was indeed there. He was becoming okay with that, too.   
  
    Every now and then though, generally when Cas was folding laundry or loading the dishwasher, Dean would have a surreal moment of disbelief that he was actually _married_ to the Angel; married for life, happily ever after to his best friend. The disbelief would only last for a few seconds of watching Cas’s large, strong hands fold tiny baby garments or his beautiful blue eyes squint to read the box of dishwasher liquid (which he read every time), before Dean would cross the room and slip his arms around the other man, pulling him in tight and silently thanking the universe. He assumed Cas had those moments as well; sometimes when they were making love, Castiel would stare up at him in awe, would cup his face in those perfect hands and look as though he were wondering if this was all a dream. Dean took every pleasure in jolting him back into reality. Not just for the unbelievably satisfying reaction of watching the Angel’s eyes roll back into his head, but Dean didn’t want Cas wondering if their life was real; for feeling surreal with Dean’s affection.    
  
    Dean closed his eyes, nuzzling Cas’s untidy, wavy hair before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. The Angel moaned softly, pulling closer to the hunter and muttering something unintelligible. Dean chuckled, his smile widening.  
  
    “Are you laughing at me?” Castiel mumbled.  
  
    “Of course,” Dean replied. “Didn’t mean to wake you... again.”  
  
    Cas pulled away from Dean, stretching his arms above his head and groaning at the pull of his muscles. Dean leaned up on his elbow, looking down at the other man. As was habit now, Dean settled his hand over the Angel’s belly, feeling a slightly ridiculous amount of pride in his expanding family. Cas squeezed his eyes closed for a moment before taking a deep breath and turning to focus on Dean.   
  
    “Good morning, Dean,” he greeted. “Did you not fall back to sleep?”  
  
    “Nah,” Dean replied, giving a cheeky grin and a wag of his eyebrows. “I had something better to do.”  
  
    Castiel rolled his eyes before stretching again and Dean leaned over to press a kiss to the Angel’s throat. Cas hummed his appreciation of the gesture, turning in against Dean’s chest. Dean brought his lips to Castiel’s, wrapping his arm around the Angel and sliding a hand up into his dark hair. They kissed slowly for several beautiful minutes before Cas pulled away.  
      
    “What time is it?” he asked.  
  
    Dean rolled over to grab his phone, activating the screen to check the time.  
  
    “Five twenty one,” he replied, dropping the phone back to the nightstand and rolling back into his husband’s arms. He smiled at the Angel, placing another soft kiss on his lips. “We don’t have to move from this bed until six a.m. ...or until a baby cries.”  
  
     Castiel returned Dean’s smile, settling back in his husband’s arms. They were quiet a moment before Cas made a soft, amused sound.   
  
    “What?” Dean asked, running his hand up Castiel’s spin and resting it between the Angel’s shoulder blades.   
  
    “I was just thinking,” Cas replied, happiness in his deep voice. “We have been through a lot together - you and me and Sam, and I wanted nothing more than to fight by your side... but this is infinitely better.”  
  
    Dean smiled.   
  
    “Agreed,”   
  
    Cas’s let his hand wonder down Dean’s arm and over his hip.   
  
    “With all of the kingdom of heaven before me, I had yet to learn how to dream...” he spoke quietly, with a bit of nostalgia in his tone. “When you took me to that brothel, I should have asked for your assistance instead.”  
  
    Dean smirked, lifting his head to look down at his husband. He didn’t want to think too hard about how he would have reacted back then.   
  
    “Would have been a damn fine memory,” he said, licking his lips. “Although... we may have been a little late for our angel catching.”  
  
    “Yes,” Castiel agreed, bringing his hand back up to stroke Dean’s cheek, a ghost of a smile on his face. “that would have been unfortunate...”  
  
    Dean leaned back in to press his lips to Castiel’s, pulling the Angel against his body. Cas slipped his arms around Dean’s neck, not only returning the kiss but deepening it, his leg curling over Dean’s hip and pulling him closer. Their kisses were passionate, yet unhurried, and their hands began to seek more contact beneath cotton and flannel. Dean pulled away to reach behind himself for the phone and checked the time.   
  
    “Not that I don’t like where I think this is going,” Dean said, sighing heavily. “But you should probably take the twenty-some-odd minutes you have left, because today is going to be a long day and you’re not exactly a ray of sunshine when you’re tired.”  
  
    Castiel’s brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed.   
  
    “You’re the one who woke me up,” he grumbled. “Twice.”  
  
    Dean laughed, leaning in to press a kiss to the Angel’s face.  
  
    “I guess that is my fault,” he agreed. “I just don’t want to cheat you out of your last several minutes of sleep.”  
  
    “I’m sure it will be more than worth the exchange,” Cas assured him, his hand trailing down Dean’s chest. “I mean... we are already up...”  
  
    Dean stared at his husband a moment, his brain buzzing as he weighed the options.   
  
    “You got a point,” he said, dropping the phone and rolling back over onto his husband’s firm body. Cas pulled his knees up on other side of Dean’s hips, letting the hunter settle in comfortably over him. He smiled against Dean’s lips at the way the younger man leaned on his elbow to avoid putting weight directly on his stomach.   
  
    “Dean,” Cas spoke softly, sighing as he tilted his head to let Dean continue kissing down the side of his throat.   
  
    “Hm?” Dean murmured, stroking his fingers down Castiel’s side as he brushed his lips over the rough stubble of the Angel’s jaw. Castiel shifted, tilting his hips up against the man above him, feeling the press of Dean’s erection against his own.   
  
    “I don’t want to make you worry for time though,” the Angel began, breathlessly. “if we don’t have enough...”  
  
    Dean looked up, grinning as he leaned his forehead against his husband’s.   
  
    “No problem,” Dean assured the Angel. “We got plenty.”  
  
    Cas returned the smile until once again Dean’s mouth was on his and Castiel slipped his hands up under Dean’s t-shirt. Dean pushed himself up onto his knees and pulled the shirt over his head, tossing it in the direction of the hamper and hearing it hit the floor. Cas sat up, his lips pressing warm, adoring kisses into the hunter’s chest and Dean moaned when the Angel’s tongue drew tantalizing paths around his hardening nipple. Dean ran his hand through Cas’s hair, enjoying the attention a moment before lifting Cas’s chin and kissing him. They moved slowly back against the mattress, and Dean leaned off the bed to pluck the bottle of lubricant from the nightstand.   
  
    Castiel watched Dean sit back up and strip from his sleep pants, and he stifled a yawn as he pushed his own boxers down his legs.   
  
    “What’s that?” Dean chuckled, leaning down over the Angel and dragging his slick fingertips across Cas’s opening. “I told you that you were still sleepy.”  
  
    Castiel shook his head, looking up at Dean through half lidded eyes as he basked in the beautiful sensation of Dean’s talented fingers. The hunter didn’t look convinced, but that didn’t cause him to pause; he continued the firm drag and press until Cas was relaxed and pliant around his fingers. Dean retrieved the lubricant bottle and poured a second measure into his palm before tossing it back to the bed. He smoothed the clear gel over his erection, settling back down over Castiel’s warm body.  
  
    Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist and cupped the hunter’s face in his hands, kissing him gently as their bodies connected. Dean gave a low groan of satisfaction, dragging his palm across the sheet before slipping his hands up under Cas’s back, using his arms to hold his weight while still holding the Angel close. A ghost of a smile passed over Castiel’s lips as he ran his hands though Dean’s hair, looking up into his husband’s eyes.  
  
    “This okay?” Dean murmured, setting a slow, deliberate pace. Castiel nodded, resting his hands on Dean’s shoulders.  
  
    “I’m quite comfortable,” he answered. Dean grinned, leaning down and bringing his lips to Castiel’s. Cas tightened his grip around his husband’s neck, pulling Dean in closer as their kiss deepened. Dean broke the kiss to trail his lips down the Angel’s throat and Cas’s heavy breathing punctuated the silence of the room.   
  
    Dean adjusted his position, pulling his knees closer to Cas’s body and forcing the Angel to tilt his hips. Cas groaned, rolling his head to the side and biting his lip as the new angle allowed Dean to slip satisfyingly deep inside of him.  
  
    “ _Dean_ ,” the Angel moaned, his fingers tightening on the hunter’s shoulders. Dean gave a soft laugh that faded into a grunt as Cas lazily began to push back against him, and Dean dropped his head to his husband’s shoulder. Castiel closed his eyes and focused on the warm glow of pleasure building inside him, and the sound of Dean’s breath of effort so close to his ear. “I’m glad it was you,” The words slipped from his lips without thought as he trailed his hand up the back of Dean’s neck and into the hunter’s hair. Dean lifted his head, looking down into Cas’s face.  
  
    “What was?” he asked, not halting his languid, slow thrusting as he waited for an answer. Cas’s eyelids fluttered a moment, but he blinked and focused back on the green eyes above him.   
  
    “That it was you...and not the prostitute,” Cas clarified, his fingers sliding down the side of Dean’s cheek. He shook his head. “I’m glad it was you... ”  
  
    Dean closed his eyes, turning his head and brushing his lips against Cas’s hand. He didn’t need any further clarification.   
  
    “Me too,” He agreed, looking back down into Castiel’s face. His smiled returned. “Of course, you may get tired of me.”  
  
    Castiel groaned from a particularly pleasant roll of Dean’s hips and he smiled faintly.   
  
    “Never.”  
  
    “Good man,” Dean breathed, crushing his lips to the Angel’s. Cas pulled the hunter in tightly, moaning against Dean’s mouth as the hunter increased the pace of each long, deliberate thrust. Dean could feel Cas’s fingers dig into the flesh of his back, and he pulled away to look down into the Angel’s face. “You’okay?” he asked.   
  
    Castiel nodded, his eyes sliding close and his lips parting as he concentrated on meeting Dean’s ascent and the pulse of pleasure that it caused. Dean leaned down and kissed Cas’s bottom lip and his stubbly chin. He smiled.   
  
    “I love you, man,” Dean laughed. “I really fucking love you.”  
  
    “I can tell,” the Angel whispered in reply, before making a gasp of pleasure that ended in a low moan. “Oh Dean... _oh_...”  
  
    Dean grinned, leaning in to kiss Castiel as they continued to make love in the quiet darkness of dawn. When both were properly sated, they lay once against with legs entwined and hands gently caressing the other’s warm, bare skin. Castiel trailed his fingertips over Dean’s scruffy jaw, his eyes narrowing as he contemplated the red and gold tones in the hunter’s beard.   
  
    “Being married is a vastly pleasantly experience,” Castiel admitted, trying to suppress a yawn. “I hope Sam and Jessica will be equally content.”  
  
    Dean made a sound of agreement, leaning in to press a kiss to the Angel’s temple just as the cell phone began to chime. Cas made a small groan that caused Dean laugh as he turned off the alarm.   
  
    “Well, that’s time,” Dean announced, dropping his cell onto the bedside table. “Wanna share a shower with me? Save a bit of trouble?” He reached over and ruffled Cas’s hair, watching the Angel yawn widely. “Or do you want to sleep for the ten minutes I’ll be in there?”  
  
    “Sleep is another pleasant human experience,” Castiel replied, pulling his pillow comfortably beneath his head. “Let me know when you’re done.”  
  
    Dean gave a huff of laughter, patting Cas on the thigh.  
  
    “I believe you just broke the rule about having your cake and eating it too,” he said, pulling himself from the bed. The Angel responded with a pleased sound, and Dean could only smile. He was pretty sure - no, definitely sure - that with this life he was living, that he was breaking that rule too.  


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upstairs, Dean followed Sam and the wedding planner to the dressing rooms where the wedding party was preparing for the ceremony. He could hear several of Sam’s college buddies cheer as the younger Winchester entered the room, and Dean felt a pang of something he could only call emotion, he just couldn’t place which emotion it was. He looked down at his daughter’s face, smiling as she lifted bright blue eyes to watch him.  
>  “Daddy’s little brother is getting married,” he whispered to the baby. Mary cooed in response, reaching up to touch his face. Dean took one of her little hands in his, bringing it to his lips. “Don’t grow up, okay?” he said, earning a giggle from her. “Just...do it slowly...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I've updated, so I hope that some of you are still reading... This chapter is rather long. Like I've mentioned before, this story was originally written for myself and not in an sort of chapter structure, so I've had to cut it in weird places at times. Anyway, I hope it brings a tiny bit of joy to you. It's not beta'd, so please give me a heads up if something is wacky.

     When Dean came out of the bathroom, dried and dressed in his underwear and a tee shirt, Cas was still asleep. The hunter smirked, pulling on a robe and leaning over his husband on the bed.   
  
    “C’mon buddy,” he murmured, pressing kisses to the Angel’s face, even as Cas tried to hide himself in the pillows. “I’ll get the baby. I put towels in the bathroom for you.”  
  
    “Thank you, Dean,” Cas mumbled in reply, groggily pulling himself from the bed. Dean watched Cas stagger to the bathroom before he walked across the hall to rouse the baby. Mary was already awake, her blue eyes focused on the butterfly mobile above her crib. She smiled and cooed when Dean came into view and she kicked her legs happily in anticipation of being picked up.   
  
    “Good morning, beautiful,” Dean murmured, kissing her chubby cheek. “Did you sleep well, hm?” Mary babbled in response, watching him as he lay her on the changing table. “You certainly didn’t get your internal clock from Cas, you know,” he laughed, leaning down to rub his nose against hers. May squealed, closing her fingers in his beard. “Where do you get this happy nature huh? Not sure that’s me or Cas, really.” He was unable to help the fact that he was smiling ear-to-ear; his daughter couldn’t be any more precious. “Alright,” he continued, trying to put on a business-like air as he undressed her from her footie pajamas.  “try not to pee on your papa, alright?” he asked, holding the naked baby as he crossed back to his and Cas’s room. “Special delivery,” Dean announced, handing her in to Castiel for a quick wash.  
  
    “This is stressful,” Castiel spoke after a moment, but Mary seemed to be enjoying the shower. Dean laughed, pulling open the shower door to help Cas rinse the baby before taking her back and wrapping her in a towel.   
  
    “Sorry babe,” he said with a grin. “I owe you one.” Mary continued to babble happily as Dean dried her off. He put her in a fresh diaper and cotton onsie so he could take her downstairs for breakfast while Cas finished his shower.  
      
    Sam was in the kitchen making himself a cup of coffee when Dean and Mary entered. He gave his brother a nod in greeting.  
  
    “Good morning,” Sam said, a nervous and slightly manic grin on his face. “You sleep well?”  
  
    “Pretty damn good,” Dean replied. “You?”  
  
    Sam gave a small laugh, filling another cup with coffee and carrying it over to his brother.  
  
    “Oh, pretty well... when I could sleep,” he replied.   
  
    Dean took a sip of the coffee, hissing a bit at the temperature against his tongue.   
  
    “Cold feet?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at his brother. Sam gave a soft smile, shaking his head.   
  
    “Excitement,” he replied.   
  
    Dean smiled, setting his cup down on the counter and opening the cabinet that contained the bottles and jars of baby food. Mary had her head against Dean’s shoulder, but she watched intently as he mixed a bottle of formula, using some of the liquid to make rice cereal. She cooed happily when he also plucked a jar of fruit from the cabinet.  
  
    Dean was planning to wait to put his dress clothes on until Mary was fed. He didn’t want to tempt fate wearing a white dress shirt while feeding a baby bright colored food. He picked a fruit with the most subdued tone, considering it may still come back up at some point in the morning. Mary babbled happily as Dean sat her in the high chair, strapping her securely in place as she reached for the dish of cereal.  
  
    “That’s daddy’s good girl,” Dean spoke, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Let’s get you fed, hm?” he had just picked up the bowl and stirred a bit of the apple puree into it when all three were distracted by a knock on the door.   
  
    “I got it,” Sam said, holding up a hand to encourage Dean to remain seated. Sam padded out into the living room, unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door.     
  
    “Good morning!” Mrs. Winchester greeted, hugging him.   
  
    “Mom, Bobby,” Sam said, stepping aside to let them in to the house. “Good morning.”  
  
    “You ain’t ready to go yet?” Bobby asked, raising an eyebrow at Sam’s half-dressed attire and Dean’s bathrobe.   
  
    “I was just going to feed the baby before throwing my suit on,” Dean told him. “It’ll just take a minute. Sit down, have some coffee.”  
  
    “Is there anything I can do to help?” Mary asked.   
  
    “Sure,” Dean replied. “If you want to feed her, I can go get dressed right now. Then all that will be left is for Mary to be dressed, and that should only take a few minutes.”   
  
    “I’ll take care of it, sweetheart,” Mrs. Winchester told him, relieving him of the rubber tipped spoon he was using to stir the baby’s food. “You go get yourself ready. And then I want to see you feed yourself.”  
  
    “Thanks,” Dean replied, standing up and kissing his mother on the cheek before she assumed his seat beside the highchair. Dean took the stairs two at a time and entered the bedroom just in time to shut the door as Cas came out of the bathroom, using his towel to rub the water from his damp hair. “Not that I’m complaining,” Dean said to the Angel. “But my parents are here now, and I don’t need my mom seeing all the glory of heaven, if you know what I mean. You should probably not strut around in your skin with the doors wide open.”  
  
    Castiel’s brow furrowed as he pulled the towel from his head.   
  
    “Your... parents?” he asked. Dean blushed, pulling his dress slacks from the hanger and stepping in to them.  
  
    “I mean, mom and Bobby,” he clarified. Castiel nodded, continuing to dry himself before starting to dress as well. Dean helped him tie his neck tie, and using just a tiny bit of gel, ran it through the Angel’s wavy hair. “Perfect,” he assessed, giving Castiel a once over. He leaned in, kissing the other man firmly on the mouth. “Let’s go.”  
  
    After finishing a quick breakfast and dressing the baby, the group split up between the Impala and the used Camry that Bobby had brought this trip, and drove the short distance to the wedding venue. The sun was bright and the sky a beautiful cloudless blue, as if the weather knew it was a special day.   
  
    “I feel like I’m already sweating buckets,” Sam complained, stepping out of the car and fanning himself with the front of his jacket. “And it can’t be more than seventy-five degrees.”  
  
    “You’re good, brother,” Dean assured him, giving him a supportive clap on the back. “Here, this will make you feel better.”  
  
    Dean took the baby from Castiel’s arms, holding her out for Sam. Sam’s disgruntled look quickly faded and he cradled the little girl in his arms.   
  
    “You got me,” Sam agreed, leaning down and rubbing his nose against the baby’s. It took Dean only a couple seconds to disengage her tiny hands from Sam’s hair, and the family crossed the parking lot to the garden entrance.  
  
    The wedding planner descended on Sam the moment they entered the reception area, stealing him to prep him for the ceremony. He had barely a moment to hug and kiss his mother before he was directed toward the stairs.   
  
    “Good, you have our little flower girl.” the wedding planner said, smiling widely at the baby dressed in her fluffy, white tulle dress with satin lilac sash. “You too, best man,” she told Dean as she steered Sam away. “We’re going to need you, too. Kiss your hubby goodbye; I guarantee you’ll see him later.”  
  
    Dean smirked, turning back to Cas, Bobby, and his mom.   
  
    “Alright, I guess I’ll see y’all down front,”  he gave Cas an affectionate thump on the arm, and leaned down to kiss his mother’s cheek. “Get us good seats.” he said with a grin.   
  
    Mrs. Winchester laughed at her son’s remark, linking an arm through Castiel’s and the other with Bobby’s.   
  
    “As the family of the groom, I think it is highly likely that we’ll get pretty good seats,” she told them, leading them toward the garden terrace doors where a small table held the guest book. Mary picked up the pen and signed her name before handing the pen to Bobby. When the old hunter finished signing the book, he handed the pen to Castiel. “Go ahead and sign for Dean,” Mary told him. “He may not get a chance when things get started.”  
  
    Cas nodded, looking down to the book where the other family’s signatures where listed. A small swell of smug pride filled him as he put pen to paper and signed.   
  
_Dean and Castiel Winchester_  
  
    Cas’s soft smile made Mary smile wider and she once again took the lead, directing their group down to the ceremony site.   
  
    Upstairs, Dean followed Sam and the wedding planner to the dressing rooms where the wedding party was preparing for the ceremony. He could hear several of Sam’s college buddies cheer as the younger Winchester entered the room, and Dean felt a pang of something he could only call emotion, he just couldn’t place which emotion it was. He looked down at his daughter’s face, smiling as she lifted bright blue eyes to watch him.   
  
    “Daddy’s little brother is getting married,” he whispered to the baby. Mary cooed in response, reaching up to touch his face. Dean took one of her little hands in his, bringing it to his lips. “Don’t grow up, okay?” he said, earning a giggle from her. “Just...do it slowly...”  
  
    Taking a deep breath, Dean proceeded into the room where Sam and his groomsmen were sharing a glass of champagne. Sam was getting the life that Dean had always wanted for him, so there was no reason to feel anything but happy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    One of Jessica’s younger cousins ushered Cas, Mary, and Bobby to the first row of seats in front of the lavishly decorated wedding arch. Soft music played in the background as the seats began to fill, the sounds of quiet conversations audible over the string quartet. Cas could hear Mary and Bobby speaking to each other, but he wasn’t paying enough attention to participate in the conversation. He was intrigued by the amount of preparation that had gone into this ceremony, and a small part of him wandered if this is what Dean would have preferred. The thought only lasted a few fleeting seconds. Castiel knew Dean well enough to know that the hunter preferred things low key. While he was touched by the amount of people that came to support them at their own wedding reception, he could tell that Dean had been uncomfortable by the attention. At his heart, Dean was a shy, affectionate, kind-hearted man and Castiel loved him all the more for that.   
  
    The quartet music paused and those seated in front of the alter became quiet. When the music resumed, it was louder, the stringed instruments playing a romantically slow version of ‘Your Song’. The assembly turned as the garden doors opened and the first of the wedding party proceeded down the aisle. Four of Jessica’s bridesmaids and four of Sam’s groomsman made their way down to the front of the alter, taking places on either side. Jessica’s maid of honor, her older sister, had a wide smile and slightly damp eyes as followed along behind the others. Once she passed the midpoint of the long strip of white silk that separated the two sides of the guest chairs, Dean stepped out onto the aisle. Cas turned further in his seat, his chest swelling with affection at the sight of his husband with their baby girl in his arms. Dean was wearing a shyly amused smile as he plucked flower petals from the small white basket fastened to Mary’s dress and let them fall at his feet. The baby had her head against his chest, her tiny fingers pinching at his chin. Dean’s smile widened as he moved closer to the alter, handing the baby down to Cas before moving on to take his place up front. Cas noted that Dean had a similar look of affectionate pride that the Angel was feeling earlier as he watched his little brother walk the aisle behind him.   
  
    Sam was blushing, but grinning broadly. Dean thumped him on the back when he took his place in front of the preacher. Sam smile faltered slightly when the music changed, and the entire room stood.  
  
    Jessica walked slowly down the aisle, holding on to her father’s arm. She was beaming happily, her eyes focused on nothing but the tall young man standing beneath the archway of flowers. The only time she looked away was to kiss her father’s cheek, and she reached out for Sam’s hand and moved to stand at this side. Cas watched Dean scratch at the corner of his eye, but the hunter sniffed back his emotion and put on a serious face as the preacher began to speak.  
  
    “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of this young man, Samuel Winchester, and this young woman, Jessica Moore...”  
  
    Dean had to press his lips tightly together as he watched his brother turn to the woman beside him and speak his vows. Sam’s voice shook only slightly, but he sounded so much older, and yet so much younger than he really was. Dean swallowed, looking out to the audience and meeting Cas’s gaze. The Angel smiled at him, and Dean smiled back. A small tug of panic tried to work its way up into Dean’s chest, but he took a deep breath, trying to keep it from ruining this moment. Sammy was getting married - well, was married now. The preacher was saying something about commitment, but Dean wasn’t focused on the words. He was watching the way Jessica smiled up into Sam’s face. He wasn’t sure he would have ever trusted Sam’s heart to anyone else.   
  
    When the preacher announced that Sam could kiss his bride, Jessica laughed and wrapped her arms around Sam’s neck while the room broke out in applause. Hand in hand, Sam and Jess walked back down the aisle, Dean and the rest of the bridal party in their wake. The wedding planner gave an announcement that cocktails and appetizers would be served on the lawn before she came to usher Sam’s family into the back garden where wedding photos were taking place.   
  
    “That was quite beautiful,” Castiel commented, once they were free from photos and Dean was back at his side. There was a slight blush on the Angel’s face, but he looked seriously back at Dean as he continued. “You look very handsome today.”  
  
    Dean grinned, giving a wag of his eyebrows.  
  
    “Quit making me wish this day was already over,” he admonished, playfully. “This my brother’s one and only wedding day.”  
  
    “Forgive me,” Cas replied, smiling shyly and looking down at the lush green grass beneath his feet. Dean slipped a hand around his waist, leaning in to kiss the Angel’s cheek.   
  
    “Forgiven,” Dean spoke quietly. He could see Castiel’s smile widen, but the Angel kept his face turned away. Dean chuckled, rubbing a hand over the other man’s back. “How you feeling?“  
  
    “I’m fine,” Cas insisted, a hand brushing over his stomach momentarily before he straightened his jacket. “I’m very happy for Sam and Jessica. I... I feel like we are being watched...”  
  
    Dean looked around, seeing several heads turn away - older men and women on Jessica’s side of the family. Dean felt ashamed of the prickle of embarrassment that he felt automatically under the scrutiny, but he kept his hand on the Angel’s lower back and steered him in the opposite direction.   
  
    “So, how do you feel about spending the week with mom while Sam and Jess are on their honeymoon?” Dean asked. Castiel looked across the garden to where Mrs. Winchester stood with Bobby, the older hunter holding Cas’s daughter in his arms.   
  
    “I’m looking forward to getting to spend time with your mother.” Cas replied. “I must admit, as much as we have gotten to see her since... since she returned, I haven’t really had a chance to...”  
  
    “Bond,” Dean supplied. Castiel shrugged, letting Dean take his hand and thread their fingers together as they walked to join the other Winchesters.   
  
    After a hour of cocktails and mingling, the DJ announced the re-arrival of Mr and Mrs Sam Winchester, and the assembly gave more enthusiastic applause. Lunch was served shortly thereafter, and elegant plates of gourmet food were set around round tables covered with crisp white and lilac covering. Dean, Cas, Bobby, and Mary were seated at the same table with the Novaks, and the table was full of lively conversation. Cas contented himself with feeding the baby and nursing a wine glass full of cranberry juice in between bites of chicken and rice. Halfway through the meal, Dean was asked to speak, and he was ushered over to the newlywed’s table and given a microphone and glass of champagne.   
  
    Dean looked nervously down at the microphone before turning his eyes to where Sam and Jessica sat, smiling at him. Dean cleared his throat.  
  
    “I think I need about four more drinks before I can give you a memorable wedding speech,” he said with a small laugh, and laughter was returned to him. He coughed, nervously wiping his sweaty palm on his jacket. “Jessica,” he said seriously. “I really don’t think you know what you got yourself in to.” Jessica laughed, and Sam shook his head in amusement. Dean grinned and continued. “Some of you may not know this, but I’ve known Sam a long time. I’ve had more days with him than we’ve had apart... But that one time we were apart, Sam went off to college to find better for his life, and I think he found just about the best thing that could ever happen to him. He was always the smarter of the two of us, and it took me so much longer to know a good thing when I found it, but Sam knew right away.” Jessica and Sam turned to each other, and Jessica brought a hand to his cheek. Dean cleared his throat again, taking a gulp from his glass before continuing. “Things may have tried to get in the way, but when something’s right... it’s just right. So today was a long time coming, but it was really the only option. It’s rare, I think, to see two people so perfect for each other. They both eat rabbit food, have crappy taste in music, and do that nutty yoga business at the crack of dawn.” Jessica was giggling into her napkin now, and Sam’s smile couldn’t be more wide. Dean raised his glass to them. “But they also both love each other like a freakin’ fairy tale, and I wouldn’t have it any other way for my little brother. So thank you, Jessica, for taking him off my hands. I still think you’re way out of his league, but you seem to like him alright.”  
  
    Jessica raised her glass in reply, and Sam did the same.   
  
    “To Sam and Jess,” Dean finished, holding his glass higher and focusing on his brother. “To your happily ever after.”  
  
    There was murmurs of agreement from the audience, and Dean drained the glass. Sam stood and crossed to his brother, embracing him tightly. Dean gave him a hearty thump on the back, trying to keep from making a spectacle of himself.   
  
    “Congrats, brother,” Dean murmured, watching Sam wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. “Now pull yourself together.”  
  
    Sam laughed, nodding and sniffing back his tears. Dean gave him another pat on the arm before turning and crossing back to his seat. He plucked another glass of champagne from a passing waiter, and dropped into his chair just as the DJ announced the newlywed’s first dance. Dean turned in his seat to watch the smiling couple walk to the dance floor and take each other in their arms. They were the center of attention, but it was obvious that they felt they were the only ones in the world. After a couple moments, the rest of the guests were invited to the floor.   
  
    Jimmy and Amelia stood, and Amelia took Jimmy’s hand and they walked to join the couples dancing. Mrs. Winchester turned to her son.  
  
    “I know you just sat down, but would you dance with me, Dean?” she asked. Dean looked taken aback for a moment, but he smiled and stood. Once on the dance floor, Mary took Dean’s hand and placed her other on his shoulder. She smiled up at him, such pride and love in her eyes. “You grew up so handsome.” she told him, laughing softly at the way he blushed and looked away. “You look very much like my mother’s father. It’s where you get your eyes.”  
  
    Dean smiled. He didn’t know what to say to her, he was just so happy to have her there, to have this life.  He looked over to the table where Cas still sat, holding their daughter in his arms and watching them. His mother’s voice brought him back to the moment.   
  
    “I’m so happy for you and your brother, Dean,” Mary spoke. “I mean, there are parts of your life that I wish I could have changed - would give anything to change - but... I’m so happy for you right now. I’m so grateful to Cas.”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean agreed. “Me too.”  
  
    Mary smiled, laughing lightly as she lifted a hand to brush her fingers across the scruff of his beard.   
  
    “I have a feeling I should be blaming Castiel for this one, though,” she told him. Dean grinned, a new, deeper blush rising to his face. Mary shook her head. “I can’t blame him. My son is very handsome... I’m sure your son will be the same,” she was pleased by the smile that lit Dean’s face.   
  
    “We’re pretty excited about seeing him,” Dean told him, looking around them to make sure they weren’t overheard.  
  
    “How is Cas doing?” she asked. “Any more... morning sickness?”  
  
    Dean shrugged, shaking his head.   
  
    “No, not for a while. Although, Cas says ‘morning sickness’ is a misnomer - first, because he says it has nothing to do with any of the hormonal stuff that normally causes it. And second, Cas says it was happening all times of the day.”  
  
    Mary nodded in agreement.   
  
    “He’s... four months?” she asked, looking back over to their table, where Cas was setting next to Bobby now, the older hunter holding little Mary’s hands as she stood on the table, bouncing her knees, so proud to be standing. Castiel was smiling adoringly at the child.   
  
    “Yeah,” Dean replied. “his brother said it was pretty similar to... people.”  
  
    Mary was quiet a moment before she continued.   
  
    “So, is he ever going to... look pregnant?” she asked. “Because he doesn’t look any different and four months... I mean, isn’t Amelia just a little farther along?” Dean gave an awkward laugh.   
  
    “He’s, uh...his clothes are a little deceiving.”  
  
    Mary pressed her lips together a moment.   
  
    “Oh,”   
  
    Dean made an odd sound of wanting to clarfiy, but Mary only laughed.   
  
    “Oh Dean,” she spoke. Dean blushed harder, shaking his head.   
  
    “I mean, he says it’s different because there isn’t all of that extra internal... organs and stuff....but he is going to get bigger. Not sure how much bigger, but... if he does, it might get hard for him to leave the house.”  
  
    “I’d be happy to come stay with you closer to the end of... well, closer to when the baby comes,” she offered.   
  
    “I’d like that,” Dean told her. “I’m sure Cas would like that too.”  
  
    Before they could speak another word to each other, Sam and Jess moved in on them.  
  
    “Can we cut in?” Sam asked with a smile. Dean grinned, feigning awkwardness.  
  
    “Gosh, Sammy,” he said. “I’m flattered. But, maybe you should dance with mom...”  
  
    Sam chuckled, rolling his eyes.   
  
    “I’m hurt, Dean. But, okay.”  
  
    Mary beamed with amusement, taking her younger son’s hand. Dean turned to Jessica, letting her take his mother’s place as his partner.   
  
    “Congratulations,” he said, giving her a hug before they relaxed back into a standard jr high dance stance. “You look amazing. I still think you’re way out of my brother’s league.”  
  
    “Thank you, Dean,” she told him with laughter in her tone. “It must be the happiness showing through.”  
  
    “Looks good on you,”  he assured her. She smiled, tilting her head as she looked up at him.   
  
    “On you, too,” she told him. “Are you going to dance with Cas?”  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, sighing heavily before looking back over to where his husband sat.   
  
    “Yeah, I think that would go over well for the audience.”  
  
    Jess smirked.  
  
    “I don’t think uptight, northern California Christians have any right to pass judgment on an Angel.” she told him. Dean looked down at her.   
  
    “They don’t know Cas. I’d rather not... I don’t think I could.”  
  
    “I understand,” she insisted. “I hope you don’t mind if I dance with him.”  
  
    Dean smiled.   
  
    “I think he’d like that.” he told her. “But to be honest, I’m not sure he knows how to dance.”  
  
    Jessica pulled away from him, shock on her face.   
  
    “You’ve never danced with him?”  
  
    Dean frowned, pulling her back into his arms.   
  
    “I wouldn’t say that mine and Cas’s life has been very conducive to dancing.” Jessica shook her head.   
  
    “That’s too bad,” she told him. “I’ve always thought it was too bad that there are some people who have to deny themselves some of the truly deep and simple joys of life because of what little old men and women, who get to take those joys for granted, might say...”  
  
    Dean didn’t respond. He and Jessica continued to shift from foot to foot until the song ended. Jessica leaned up and kissed his cheek, slipping away to re-join her new husband. Dean pushed his hands down into his pockets, and he walked back toward the table where Cas was now sitting alone with the baby.  
  
    “Where’s Bobby?” Dean asked, reaching out to run a hand over his daughter’s hair.  
  
    “He went to get a drink, but your mother stopped him to dance,” he gave a motion of his head toward the back of the dance floor where Mary and Bobby were.   
  
    “Huh,” Dean commented, setting down at the Angel’s side and picking up his glass of champagne, downing the rest of it in one gulp. They sat quietly together, watching Mary bounce happily where she stood on Castiel’s thighs. Amelia returned to the table shortly after Dean, as the DJ was announcing the ‘father/daughter’ dance. For a moment, they watched those on the dance floor, including Jess and Mr. Moore, and Jimmy and Claire. Castiel turned to Dean, handing their daughter over to him. Dean grinned, rising from his seat and swaying gently from side to side as he held little Mary to his shoulder. She cooed quietly, giving a little yawn as she snuggled against his neck, her tiny hand coming up to pet his jaw. Even after her initial uncertainty with the beard, she still felt soothed by touching her father’s face as she fell asleep.   
  
    “It’s past her nap time,” Castiel commented, rising from his chair and laying a hand gently on his daughter’s back. “Is there somewhere I can feed her and let her sleep?”  
  
    “Yeah,” Dean replied, turning and pointing to the pavilion hall across the lawn. “The room that the girls got ready in has some nice sofa’s you can lay her down on. You want me to come with you?”  
  
    “No,” Cas replied, putting the diaper bag strap over his shoulder and lifting the baby back into his arms. “You enjoy the party. I’ll be fine,”  
  
    “May I join you?” Amelia asked him, standing from her own seat. Cas seemed taken aback for a moment, but he nodded and waited for her to join him before they crossed the grounds. Inside the pavilion, a staff member brought Cas a cup of warm water and showed him to the sitting room. The room was cool and quiet, and Amelia pulled the drapes for him as he settled on one of the brocade sofa’s, laying down a blanket on one cushion and resting Mary on it so he could mix the formula in her bottle. Amelia sat down on the other side of the baby, making sure she didn’t roll over.  
  
    Amelia watched the Angel lift the little girl back into his arms, taking her out of her fancy dress and changing her into a simple onsie. He situated her securely in the crook of his arm as he fed her the bottle, placing another blanket over her as she snuggled against him. As she drank, the baby watched her father and made little happy noises until she couldn’t keep her eyes open.   
  
    “She is so beautiful,” Amelia commented.  
  
    “Thank you,” Castiel replied, “I’m grateful for your kindness.”  
  
    Amelia leaned back against the sofa, her hand resting idly on her protruding abdomen.  
  
    “I’m grateful for yours,” she returned. Castiel sighed, shifting uncomfortably.   
  
    “How can you be so-”  
  
    “Please, Castiel,” Amelia spoke, stopping him before he could continue. “There is no reason to have this conversation. Jimmy and I, we’re grateful for everything that you and Dean have done for us. We hold no ill will against what happened with the... apocalypse. By all accounts, I shouldn’t have gotten Jim back. Much less.. well...” She smiled, giving her belly a tiny, affectionate pat. “And Jimmy loves you. He loves your family like our family.”  
  
    The sentiment made Castiel feel good, especially since he had a hard time connecting with Jimmy like he had with Dean and Sam. He wondered if it was hard for true human’s to connect with people. It didn’t seem the case for Jimmy. Obviously evidence that the vessel had little to do with the soul.   
  
    He and Amelia chatted quietly about babies and gardening while Mary slept quietly on the sofa between them. Castiel felt he could have almost fell asleep as well - large gatherings were physically exhausting. After an hour, the baby stirred awake and she smiled widely at her father, kicking happily as he changed her diaper and redressed her. When they rejoined the party, it appeared to be winding down.  
  
    “Sam and Jess are getting ready to go,” Dean told his husband as the Angel returned to the table. “How about you?”  
  
    “Very much so,” Castiel replied. Dean almost laughed at the look of relief in the other man’s blue eyes.   
  
    “Alright,” Dean chuckled. They Winchesters and Novaks found Sam and Jess, hugging them and giving their sentiments to the happy couple. Sam pulled little Mary into his arms, cuddling and kissing her before turning her back over to his brother-in-law. He turned next to his brother, embracing him tightly. “Congrats, brother,” Dean spoke, pulling him down and giving him a quick kiss on the temple before he pulled away. “You kids have a good time while you’re gone. Enjoy the time away.” he hugged and kissed Jessica next.   
  
    “We will,” she told him. Dean nodded, placing his hands in his pockets, taking a deep breath before he continued.   
  
    “You take care of my little brother.”  
  
    “Definitely,” she assured him, taking Sam’s hand.   
  
    Cas and Dean waited for Mrs. Winchester and Bobby to say their goodbyes before they returned to the parking lot. They made plans to meet up with the Novaks later in the evening after everyone was changed out of wedding attire. It was close to five pm when they all gathered at Dean and Cas’s place. Mary and Cas made a simple chicken salad for dinner, and everyone sat around the table talking about Jimmy’s new job, new babies, and how wonderful and perfect Sam and Jess were together.   
  
    At around nine, the baby began to fuss and cry, so Castiel took her upstairs to put her down for bed. Mary offered, but he insisted that he was fine doing it himself. Castiel had learned to enjoy the moments with his daughter, which surprised him at first considered how hard it was for him to even learn to hold her when she was first born. But now, these moments just between him and his child, he learned to take solace in. When Mary realized that Castiel had begun the ritual of changing her, wiping her down with a warm wet cloth and dressing her comfy pajamas, she calmed down and began to coo in anticipation of being cuddled and rocked to sleep.   
  
    She was just falling asleep when Dean came to lean in the doorway, watching them with a soft smile on his face. Castiel looked up at him, returning the smile.   
  
    “She out?” Dean asked, crossing the room and kneeling beside the rocking chair. Castiel nodded, watching the hunter lean in to kiss the baby’s brow. He let Dean lift her from his arms, and take her to the crib. Cas stood and followed him, slipping an arm around the younger man and resting his head on his shoulder. “You almost out, too?” Dean asked with humor in his voice. Castiel made a non-committal sound, but he took the hunter’s hand and crossed with him to the bedroom.   
  
    “Where’s your mother and Bobby?” Castiel asked.   
  
    “They’re watching the news,” Dean replied, pulling pajamas out of the dresser. “Here baby,”  
  
    “Thank you Dean,” Cas replied, taking the pajamas and beginning to undress. “This has been a long day. Wonderful and happy, but long.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, stripping out of his own clothes and tossing them in the hamper.   
  
    “I hear ya,” he replied, moving into the bathroom. They took turns using the sink to wash up, and Dean stretched out his arms above his head as they walked back into the bedroom. “Our next house should have those bathroom counters with two sinks.” he commented. Castiel tilted his head to one side.   
  
    “Why?” he asked. Dean turned to him, and for a moment the intimate sharing of space over the single sink didn’t seem to matter.   
  
    “No reason... just a thought,” he replied. Castiel smiled at him, and it was then that Dean realized he was grinning.   
  
    “What?” the Angel asked. Dean shook his head.   
  
    “Maybe our next house will have a white picket fence, hm?” he asked, crossing to his husband and hugging him tightly. “Maybe a lemon tree in the yard with your garden. Maybe a family room where we can snuggle with the kids and have family movie night,”  
  
    “I like the sound of that,” Cas sighed, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean pulled the Angel in tightly, burying his face against his warm throat. Castiel smelled good; like soap and apples and sunshine. Like happiness.   
  
    Dean pulled back, looking down into the Angel’s face. Cas’s eyes closed slightly in curiosity of the look on his husband’s face.   
  
    “You wanna humor me a minute?” Dean asked softly, brushing the hair off of Castiel’s forehead. Cas’s eyes squinted a moment as if he could read Dean’s mind, but he relaxed and nodded, watching his husband cross to the nightstand to turn on the lamp before moving to turn off the overhead light. He picked up his phone, scrolling through the music playlists and turning it on. A soft, rock ballad filled the air and Dean crossed back to his husband. He took the Angel’s hand, pulling him closer. “I’m sorry I didn’t do this earlier,” he murmured.  
  
    Castiel blushed, looking down at his feet as Dean began to move.   
      
    “It’s okay I... I don’t know how to dance...” he replied quietly. Dean smiled, leaning in to press his forehead against the Angel’s.   
  
    “I know you have rhythm, Cas,” he spoke deeply, with a leering grin. “Just move with me,”  
  
    Cas did as instructed, watching Dean’s feet for a cue of how to step from side to side. After a few moments, Cas slipped his arms around the hunter’s neck, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean held him close, enjoying the moment of having his husband in his arms. They moved together slowly, more gently swaying than dancing now, but the movement was intimate and comforting. Dean closed his eyes at the feel of the Angel’s fingers in his hair, and Castiel began to lay soft kisses on his throat. Dean felt his skin begin to warm with arousal, and he let his hands roam over the other man’s body.   
  
    Castiel lifted his head, his blue eyes dark. They stared at each other a moment before leaning in to kiss. Dean’s brought one hand to delve into Cas’s hair, his other sliding up under the other man’s shirt.   
  
    “Why do we,” Cas spoke between kisses. “Even bother... with pajamas?”  
  
    “Beats the hell out of me,” Dean laughed, pulling the shirt up over the Angel’s head. They backed toward the bed, kissing and shedding clothes until they were naked and laying side by side on the down comforter. Words ceased, desire taking over and they continued to kiss and caress each other. The idea of sex was, for a moment, secondary to the deep and passionate exchange of kisses between them.   
  
    “Dean,” Castiel whispered, moaning softly as the hunter moved on to kiss his throat once the angel spoke. “make love to me.”  
  
    Dean complied, moving them beneath the sheets and settling over the Angel. Cas wrapped his arms around his husband, holding him close and moaning into Dean’s kisses as the hunter moved against him.   
  
    Dean was startled a moment when the Angel whispered:  
  
    “I’m sorry, Dean,”  
  
    He paused, leaning up slightly to look down into the other man’s face. Castiel made a small whine in the back of his throat, shifting underneath him restlessly.  
  
    “Why?” Dean asked. Castiel blushed, panting softly as he tried not to be impatient.   
  
    “I’m... I’m being selfish...” he explained. “Wanting you.. like this...”  
  
    Dean gave a huff of laughter, leaning back down to kiss Cas deeply as he continued to move, rolling his hips purposefully to strike exactly where he knew would please the Angel most. Castiel was moaning against his mouth, and he pulled away when the pressure in his groin began to mount. He was gasping his husband’s name when his climax overtook him.   
  
    “I’m the selfish one, baby,” Dean murmured against his husband’s ear, as he continued to thrust deep into him. “Because I want to hear you do that again.”  
  
    Castiel made a choked cry that sounded suspiciously like Dean’s name, and Dean moved more slowly to drag out the experience. Thankfully though, Castiel wasn’t long in climaxing a second time and Dean followed soon after. He relaxed against the Angel, kissing him lazily as their heartbeats slowed.  
  
    Castiel lay spent, submitting to Dean’s attention as the hunter took some tissue and cleaned up the remnants of their lovemaking. When he tossed away the tissue, Dean collapsed at Cas’s side.    
  
    “That was amazing...” Castiel sighed, taking a deep breath to try to normalize his heart rate. Dean grinned.   
  
    “And I had quite a bit to drink tonight, so most of that was pure luck and magic.”  
  
    Cas smiled at his husband’s levity, looking up into Dean’s face as the hunter rested his head on his hand. Dean stared back at him a moment before bringing a hand up to touch his cheek.   
  
    “You’re amazing, you know that?” he spoke quietly, his eyes dropping to look over the Angel’s mouth and down his chest. “Maybe I haven’t told you enough, but I love you. And I’m grateful that... that you love me back.”  
  
    Castiel rolled onto his side, bringing a hand to Dean’s face and the hunter looked into his eyes.   
  
    “I love you, Dean,” he spoke simply, unable to vocalize how much, how deeply, how long that he had loved him. Dean kissed him gently, and Castiel relaxed against him, slipping an arm around Dean’s neck. They continued kissing, gently, lazily, until Castiel pulled away. “You need to sleep, Dean,” he murmured, letting the younger man pull him back into a kiss. “Dean, we have plans tomorrow morning...”  
  
    “Fuck...” Dean groaned, “Why’re we so popular all of the sudden?”  
  
    “I hear we’re both amazing.” Cas replied.   
  
    Castiel smiled at Dean’s quiet laughter, resting his head against Dean’s shoulder and relaxing at his side. Dean looked down at him as he rested, his eyes taking in the beautiful expanse of his naked body. After a few moments of deepening breaths, Castiel shifted, his hand coming to rest on his abdomen and gently stroking the swell of his flesh. Dean smiled, hugging the Angel to him and kissing the top of his head.   
  
    When Mary first came along, he wanted to get away from ‘the job’ for her sake, even though he wasn’t sure he would be happy not hunting. And even though his job was still, technically, hunting; having regular hours and a steady paycheck was the best exchange for security and safety for his loved ones, for his husband and his children. And he was so happy that Sam would have this now.   
  
    Taking comfort in the warmth of the body pressed to his, Dean closed his eyes and focused on the beating of Castiel’s heart and the deep, evenness of his breath. And he fell into peaceful, dreamless sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Mary and Dean had tag-teamed Bobby to convince him to stay the week, insisting that it made more sense than driving back to South Dakota only to come back to pick Mary up in a week. Bobby’s last defense was to say that he didn’t have enough clothes, to which Mary happily informed him that she had packed enough for the week. Even though he was acting as though it were an inconvenience, he didn’t complain to be getting more time with the baby.   
  
    Mary, Bobby, and Castiel took the baby to the park on Monday, and watched her raptly as she sat in the middle of the blanket giggling and reaching up to pop the bubbles that the older hunter blew from a tiny wand. For those used to the constant movement, constant danger of the hunter’s life - sitting on a blanket in the middle of a California park blowing bubbles at a baby should have been the height of boring - but they were loving every second of it.   
  
    On Tuesday, Bobby made an announcement that he needed to run some errands, leaving Mrs. Winchester alone with Cas and the baby. She happily held her granddaughter, sitting next to the Angel as he continued to knit the last white section on the last edge of the pale yellow blanket that he had began when he found out he was expecting. Mary watched him carefully do the binding of the last row.   
  
    “That’s beautiful Cas,” she told him, reaching over and gently feeling the knit.  
  
    “Thank you,” he spoke, setting the knitting needles down in the box he had for his supplies and he lay the blanket out across his belly. “Do you think it is big enough...?”  
  
    “Oh, it’s perfect,” she assured him, reaching out to touch the blanket. Her hand stopped just inches from where it lay over his abdomen, and she made a motion to withdraw it.   
  
    “It’s okay,” Castiel spoke quietly, folding the blanket. “I understand it is a human desire to show affection for the yet to be born, and to make that physical connection.” he sat the blanket aside. “I don’t mind.”  
  
    Mary grinned widely, placing her hand over the small swell of the Angel’s belly. Castiel watched the expression of joy and wonder on her face as she slowly moved her hand, as if she could feel the life on the other side.   
  
    “This... this isn’t like... a female pregnancy, right?” she asked, looking up at him, but keeping her hand where it was. Castiel gave a regretful smile.   
  
    “No,” he replied. “The child,” his smile widened in spite of himself. “Our son, his physical form has not yet been decided. His grace and his spirit is what is growing inside me.”  
  
    “Oh,” Mary said softly, looking back down at her hand. “Can you... feel anything?”  
  
    “No,” he answered, again with slight remorse. “I feel the concentration of grace, but, at this point, it doesn’t feel any different than my own...”  
  
    Mary smiled sympathetically at him, pulling her hand back and hugging little Mary to her. She kissed the baby’s soft, honey-blonde curls.   
  
    “I’m so happy for you and Dean,” she said quietly, looking back up at the Angel. “I never...” she took a deep breath, but her smile turned warm. “I didn’t really get enough time with Dean to dream about the type of life I wanted for him when he grew up, but when I get to see the way he looks at you.... The joy in his eyes when he sees his daughter. When... when I know that this isn’t the life that he had been living until he let love change him... I couldn’t imagine wanting more for my son.” Castiel blushed, looking back down at his daughter and smiling at her sweet little face. Mrs. Winchester reached out and brushed Castiel’s hair back. “And the best part,” she continued, “Is when a parent thinks about the kind of love they want for their child, they couldn’t ask for anything more than the way you look at Dean. And that you’ve let him... be the person he wants to be...”  
  
    “I love Dean,” Cas insisted, his voice quiet but his tone resolute. “You don’t have to thank me. I will always love your son. My father created my brethren with the singular purpose to love humanity, to love his creation - but I feel he created me solely for Dean... and gave me the free will to chose this life.”  
  
    “Aw,” Mary sighed, looking touched by the sentiment. Castiel blushed, looking back down at his stomach.   
  
    The conversation was interrupted when Bobby came through the front door, carrying a large box with him. Both Castiel and Mary turned in their seats, watching him with interest.   
  
    “Bobby Singer,” Mary spoke reprimandingly. “What is that?”  
  
    Bobby looked at the box with a sheepish grin on his face.  
  
    “I saw it in the store and thought... what the hell...”  
  
    Castiel tilted his head as he read from the side of the carton.  
  
    “Busy Baby Activity Table,” he said slowly. “...What store were you at?”  
  
    Bobby grimaced while Mary chuckled.   
  
    “Does it matter?” he snapped, coming into the living room and setting the box on the floor. He pushed the coffee table out of the way and set to work, opening the cardboard and laying out the sturdy plastic pieces. Mary bounced the baby on her knee as Castiel left to get Bobby some tools. The baby babbled and squealed as she watched her grandpa assembly the brightly colored activity table. Once it was together, Mary got out the video camera as Cas handed his daughter down to the hunter.   
  
    “Alright, pigeon,” Bobby said to the little girl, holding her steady as she balanced herself precariously on her tiny feet, little hands clutching the side of the table. “Grandpa Bobby’s got ya,” he told her, reaching past her to rattle one of the toys attached to the table’s top. Little Mary cooed happily, reaching for the rattle while keeping one hand firmly clutched against the edge of the table top. Once she was able to grasp it in her chubby fingers, letting it spring away and fill the room with musical sound, she squealed with delight. Mrs. Winchester and Bobby laughed as well, and Castiel smiled happily as he watched his daughter play.   
  
    After several moments, little Mary became confident in Bobby’s hold on her and she reached out with both hands to explore the toys on the table top, twisting, pulling, and shifting all the colorful, varied shapes. The adults, Castiel included, burst with laughter when the baby picked up the toy phone receiver from the top of the activity table, held it to her ear and babbled into it as though she were answering a call. She laughed when they did, chattering more into the blue plastic toy.   
  
    “Who are you talking to, Mary?” Castiel asked her, leaning his forearms onto his knees as he sat forward. “Who is on the phone?”  
  
    The baby babbled back at him, holding the phone out for him to take. Castiel tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing.  
  
    “Maybe it’s for you?” Mary said to him, watching the scene through on the viewfinder of the recorder. “Take it and see who it is.”  
  
    Castiel turned to her.   
  
    “There really isn’t anyone there,” he replied. “It’s a toy.”  
  
    “Take the darn phone, ya killjoy,” Bobby said to him. Castiel didn’t resist, shifting forward and kneeling beside the table so he could take the phone from his daughter.   
  
    “...Hello?” he waited quietly a moment, looking from Bobby to Mary, before looking back to his child. He tried to think. “Oh, Hello Dean.”  
  
    Little Mary’s face brightened and she held out her hand, her fingers grasping for him to return the toy. Castiel spoke again.   
  
    “Mary would like to speak with you... um... hold on...” He handed the phone back to the baby, explaining to her. “It’s daddy. Your daddy is on the phone.”  
  
    She took the toy, pressing it awkwardly to her ear and babbling happily into it. Cas felt his heart swelling with love as he watched the tiny human, so pretty and perfect and growing so much every day. There was a bit of bittersweet sadness in the feeling as well. She wouldn’t be a baby forever... he watched her raptly as she busily explored all of the items on the table, returning occasionally to the phone, passing it back to Bobby and watching him expectantly as he talked to her daddy as well.  She didn’t stop playing until the familiar rumble of the Impala’s engine was heard outside the house. She looked up expectantly at the sound of the door closing.  
  
    “Look’s like daddy’s home,” Mary spoke to the baby, watching her granddaughter through the camera as the baby’s wide blue eyes stayed focused on the door. As she waited for the door to open, anticipation on her sweet little face, it was easy to see Castiel in her features.   
  
    Dean pushed open the door, smiling at the group as he stepped inside.   
  
    “What’s all this?” he asked, looking from his mom to his husband and mentor where they sat on the floor next to the baby. Before anyone could respond, the baby shrieked with joy, throwing the toy receiver in her excitement.  
  
    “Da! Da!”   
  
    Dean’s smile faded and he stared awestruck, paused halfway out of his jacket. Castiel looked startled back to the baby.  
  
    “Did... did she speak?” he asked. Mrs Winchester chuckled at them, but wiped a tear from her eye.   
  
    “Not surprising, as advanced as she is.” she said.   
  
    Dean tossed his jacket on the table by the door and crossed the living room to his child. Little Mary held her hands up to her father, bouncing excitedly on her feet as Bobby steadied her. Dean lifted her into his arms, and she embraced him around the neck.   
  
    “Daaaa,” she cooed,  hugging him tightly before popping back up and pointing excitedly to the table on the floor.   
  
    “I see that,” Dean spoke. “You got an awesome grandpa. But hey, Mare,” he stroked her cheek, causing her to turn back to him. “Did you say ‘da da’? Huh? Da da?”  
  
    Mary watched her father’s mouth as he spoke, and she placed her tiny fingers on his lips. Castiel stood, watching the two of them. The baby turned to him, and she made a quiet sound. The Angel’s brow furrowed.   
  
    “Do... do you think she is confused?” he asked.   
  
    “No,” Dean said firmly, and the baby watched him as she spoke. “She knows who we are. She knows...” he took the baby’s hand, stroking the backs of her fingers with his thumb. “Mare, where’s daddy?” Mary turned her blue eyes to Castiel, and she grinned happily at him.  
  
    “Deeeee.” she said, reaching out for the Angel. Castiel took her into his arms, and she hugged him as well. Dean took a deep breath, smiling proudly.   
  
    “I’m calling Sam!”  
  
    Sam was upset to hear Mary said her first word when he wasn’t there, but he was happy to hear that it was all recorded for him and Jess to watch when they got back. Dean was happy to oblige his brother in trying to get the baby to say dada again, and it only took seven minutes for her to comply. After, however, she was tired and cranky and cried when she was asked to speak, so she buried her face in Castiel’s neck and pulled the fabric of his shirt over her head.   
  
    “I think I’m in trouble, Sammy,” Dean told him. “You and Jess have a good night.”  
  
    Dean was in good spirits for the rest of the evening, and after dinner he gave the baby her last bottle and held her until she fell asleep. Shortly thereafter, Dean and Castiel said their goodnights to Bobby and Mary and retired to their own room.  
  
    “Man,” Dean sighed, settling on the end of the bed as he pulled off his shoes and socks, watching Cas through the bathroom doorway as the Angel readied himself for bed. “I can’t believe our baby is learning to talk. It seems like just yesterday she was exploding out of my frontal lobe.”  
  
    Cas nodded, wiping his hands on a towel and returning to the bedroom.   
  
    “Is this a human sensation?” he asked. “That it feels like I’ve never known life without you and Mary in it, yet it seems like only weeks ago that you looked upon me for the first time with love in your eyes...”  
  
    Dean smiled softly, rising to his feet and slipping his hands around the Angel’s hips.  
  
    “I think it is,” he replied. “Man... time flies...” he kissed Cas softly on the mouth, “In a good way, though... I love you.”  
  
    “I love you, too,” Cas replied. Dean grinned, letting him go as he went into the bathroom to finish his own nighttime routine. Castiel pulled back the comforter and sheet, settling into bed. He spoke to Dean as the hunter changed and cleaned up. “Do you think we should...” he shrugged, looking down at the swell of his stomach beneath his t-shirt. “Think about a name for the baby? I mean... we don’t really know when he will be here...”  
  
    Dean snapped off the bathroom light as he came back into the room, hitting the overhead light as well on his way to the bed. He slid into bed beside his husband, resting his hand over Castiel’s belly.   
  
    “I have no clue what to name the baby,” he admitted. “What do you think?”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment, watching Dean’s hand softly stroke his abdomen.   
  
    “I want his name to mean something,” he replied, sliding down in the bed to lay on his side and face his husband. “I want it be a name that he’ll like,” Dean smiled. So, no ‘Bobby John’, he told himself. Castiel continued. “I ... I feel we should honor Jimmy in some way, since it was through his sacrifice that we could be together...”  
  
    Dean’s smile widened, and he touched Castiel’s face.   
  
    “That’s really nice,” he agreed. “Do you want to name our son James?” he asked. Castiel’s eyebrows knitted together.  
  
    “That’s an awful lot of honor,” he admitted, hesitantly. Dean chuckled, as the Angel continued. “It was my brother, after all, that restored my grace and protected the life inside me. We would be just as justified in naming him Gabriel.”  
  
    “Nope,” Dean said firmly. “Not naming my kid after him, no way. Sorry sweetheart. Why don’t we just name him Castiel if you want him to have the name of an Angel,”  
  
    “If we’re going to confuse him,” Cas replied. “We may as well call him Dean Winchester.”  
  
    Dean shrugged, rolling onto his back and letting the Angel settle against his chest.   
  
    “We could combine our names somehow...” the hunter mused. “Dean... Cas... Casdean... Cassidy... Deastiel... _De_ -stiel...”  
  
    “Daniel,” Castiel said quietly. “Daniel James.”  
  
    There was something in the way the Angel said the name, as if it somehow breathed life into the idea of their child; their son. Dean closed his eyes.  
  
    “Daniel James Winchester,” he repeated, and he could almost see the baby in his mind’s eye. He leaned down and kissed Castiel’s wavy hair. “I like it.”  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ 


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What happened?” Jessica asked, setting her book aside. Sam’s eyes were wide with concern.  
> “Is Mary okay? What’d the doctor say?”  
> “Oh, she’s fine,” Dean sighed, handing the little girl to his brother. “The doctor said she was perfect. Healthy, happy... should grow out of her bow-legs.”  
> Sam pressed his lips together a moment before asking.  
> “Did... did she bring that up?”  
> “No,” Dean replied, running a hand over his hair. “I did. What she brought up was... she asked me if Cas wasn’t at the appointment because he was...” he made an odd motion with his hand. Jessica’s eyes grew wide, her eyebrows raising.  
> “Gay?” she asked, incredulously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad people are still reading! I've updated again and I hope it's okay. :)

     By the time Sam and Jess came home from their honeymoon, looking tanned and relaxed, Mary was calling both Dean and Cas ‘da da’ on a regular basis. Much to Castiel’s chagrin, she used the name for Jimmy Novak as well, and they couldn’t seem to convince her that the name wasn’t appropriate. After several weeks of cajoling, she added ‘Semm” to her list of words, happily shouting it at her uncle whenever she saw him. And unfortunately for everyone, when she became eleven months old, her new favorite word became:  
  
    “No!”  
  
    Dean groaned, setting down the spoon and wiping the pureed green beans off his hand where Mary smacked the spoon away. Castiel handed him a wet washcloth on his way past, and he settled in the chair on the other side of Mary.  
  
    “Mary,” he spoke softly, taking the spoon and lifting another bite to her mouth. “Open your mouth.”  
  
    “No!” she shouted, pouting as she looked up at Sam. “no...”  
  
    Sam took the spoon from his brother-in-law, and squatted next to the highchair.  
  
    “Mary,” he said gently,  earning the attention of her wide, blue eyes. “Will you eat green beans for uncle Sam? Huh? Want green beans?”  
  
    She watched the spoon until it was only centimeters from her mouth, and when she whipped her head to the side, Sam ended up getting the green puree in her hair.  
  
    “Oh, gosh, sorry,” Sam grimaced, taking the washcloth and wiping off the baby’s head. Dean chuckled, rising from his chair and grabbing a jar of peaches from the cabinet. Castiel sighed.  
  
    “She’ll never eat vegetables if you keep giving her fruit.” he told his husband.  
  
    “I just want her to be happy,” Dean replied, smiling as Mary happily pounded the tray of her high chair in anticipation of the sweeter meal.  
  
    “I want her to be healthy,” Castiel countered, watching Mary eagerly accept mouthfuls of the creamy, orange puree. The Angel shook his head, sighing again as he shifted uncomfortably in the wooden dining room chair. Dean sat up a little straighter, pausing in feeding the baby.  
  
    “You okay, babe?” he asked, his nerves on end as he waited for the answer. Castiel let out a heavy breath, arching his back to remove the kink in his spine.  
  
    “Yes...” he gave the hunter a weak smile. “I’m fine.”  
  
    Mary’s desire to talk hadn’t been the only thing to change in the last several months. While the first four months of Castiel’s “gestation”, as he called it, was rather innocuous - save the few weeks of morning sickness he had to deal with - the only thing that seemed to develop in the last three months was an increase in the size of his belly. Now that summer was in full swing, it was impossible to hide his shape under heavy coats or sweaters, and to Sam and Dean, his condition was obvious. Castiel may be oblivious to some of the finer subtleties of human interaction, but he wasn’t unaware of how tense it made his family when they needed to go out in public. Cas was more than happy to stay at home to save Sam and Dean the anxiety.  
  
    “You sure?” Dean asked, keeping an eye on the Angel as he continued to spoon peaches into his daughter’s mouth. “You look... uncomfortable...”  
  
    Castiel shrugged, rubbing a spot on his lower back. Dean turned to Sam.  
  
    “Can you finish giving Mary this and clean her up for her doctor’s appointment?” he asked. Sam nodded, taking the jar and spoon from his brother’s hands. Mary watched with interest as her father stood and went to pull her other dad to his feet. “Come on, Angel.”  
  
    “Da da...” Mary said softly, watching the men leave the room. Castiel gave her a sympathetic look, and Dean spoke to her.  
  
    “Daddy’ll be right back, sweetheart.” he assured her, escorting Cas up the stairs to their room. He closed the door partway behind them, and Cas turned to watch him. “Come here babe,” Dean spoke softly, his hands gently resting on the Angel’s sides. “Let’s get your pants off and lay down for a bit, hm?”  
  
    Cas nodded in agreement, letting Dean help him strip from his jeans down to his boxers. Thankfully, Jessica was a wizard with a sewing machine, and had modified several pairs of the Angel’s pants to have stretchy, roomy stomach panels; but the fabric was still confining and Cas was beginning to feel uncomfortable in his own body. He crawled onto the bed, letting Dean arrange the pillows comfortably around him and he lay on his side - the only really comfortably position left.  
  
    Dean lay down behind him, firmly massaging the Angel’s lower back. Castiel moaned softly, pulling a pillow to his chest as he leaned forward slightly to give Dean more access. Dean sat up, continuing to rub the tense muscle down either side of the other man’s spine.  
  
    “I want you to try and get some sleep,” Dean told him, leaning in and giving the Angel a kiss on the side of the neck. “I’m going to take Mary to her appointment. And when I come back, we can hang out downstairs and watch a movie or something. How’s that sound?”  
  
    “Sounds good,” Cas replied, closing his eyes and snuggling his face into the pillow.  
  
    “Good. Here, I’ll put your phone next to you. Call me if you need anything.” Dean pulled the sheet up over him, kissing him once again on the cheek before leaving the room, shutting off the light as he went.  
  
    Castiel tried to relax. He shifted uncomfortably, listening to the sounds from downstairs as he tried to find a good position to sleep in. He heard Dean leave the house, and it became quiet downstairs. Cas wondered if Sam accompanied Dean to the doctor since Jessica was at school. He didn’t have to ponder long when a soft knock sounded.  
  
    “Cas?” Sam spoke through the door. “I’m sorry if you’re asleep. I just wanted you to know that I’m downstairs if you need anything... you can text me.”  
      
    “Thank you Sam,” Castiel called back, a smile on his face as he settled down into bed. Within twenty minutes, he had fallen into a calm sleep, his breathing light and his body resting comfortably. Even though he was more human now than ever, he still had the awareness that he wasn’t alone.  
  
    “Don’t get up on my account,” Gabriel spoke quietly, absently brushing a stray curl off of his little brother’s forehead. “I’m just checking up on you.”  
  
    “I’m fine,” Castiel murmured, his eyelids heavy as he tried to look up at the other angel.  
  
    “You sure about that?” Gabriel asked, pressing a hand to the younger Angel’s belly, trying to gauge the strength of the grace on the other side. Cas’s eyes opened slightly and he looked up at his brother.  
  
    “Is my baby alright?” he asked quietly.  
  
    Gabriel smirked, pulling his hand back.  
  
    “Of course he is. His father is the commander of one of Heaven’s most formidable garrisons.”  
  
    “Was,” Castiel murmured with a small sigh. “And you’re the only one who remembers that part of me.”  
  
    “Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Gabriel told him. “But, we’re still trying our best to settle things down upstairs and warm Raph up to the idea of leaving you in peace.”  
  
    “The Angels think I’m mad,” Cas replied, but there was a hint of sadness in his tone. Gabriel watched him quietly a moment.  
      
    “They’re intrigued. They’re curious about the Angel who could give up heaven for a mortal life on earth, married to a human for the span of a human life.”  
   
    Castiel looked up at him, his blue eyes sincere.  
  
    “It’s worth it.”  
  
    “Save the hallmark moment,” Gabriel laughed, reaching out and pulling Castiel’s wing, stretching it out and combing through the feathers. Castiel moaned contentedly, unconsciously rolling his shoulder forward and flexing his wing so that Gabriel could get the feathers farther back. The archangel sighed as he groomed his younger sibling. “You know Cas,” he began gently. “I know you love this human. I get it, really, but you’re still an Angel... your little feldglings are half angel...Raphael will let you back in heaven eventually... Father favors you, and he knows it.”  
  
    Castiel was quiet, giving Gabriel’s words some thought before finally saying.  
  
    “I don’t think I’m the same person I was then. I am still partially an Angel, but... that doesn’t define me,” he looked up at his brother. “I’m a father and a husband now. I’m someone’s friend. I have a family.”  
  
    “You’ve always had a family,” Gabriel informed him with a frown. Castiel took a deep breath.  
  
    “You know what I mean,” he said calmly. “We don’t exactly try to bond with one another in the spiritual realm.”  
  
    Gabriel was quiet a moment, running his fingers down each smooth, cobalt feather.  
  
    “Maybe not... doesn’t mean that we don’t care...”  
  
    Castiel considered the statement.  
  
    “True... I didn’t mean to offend you...”  
  
    “Ah, you didn’t.” Gabriel insisted, levity back in his tone. “It’s not anything I want you to worry over. You need to focus on keeping a positive energy. I’m going to send someone to keep an eye on you now that things are getting close to , well... close to the end.”  
      
    Castiel’s eyes were wide awake now, and he pushed himself up on his elbow.  
  
    “You needn’t. Dean’s mother is going to come down the week before Mary’s birthday and stay with us until after the baby comes.”  
  
    “Well, no offense, because Mrs. W is a lovely woman,” Gabriel replied. “But, you need someone from the hometown team for this one. I shifted that grace out of your consciousness and into your vessel. That’s not going to be pleasant when he’s ready to come out.” before Castiel could argue, Gabriel continued. “I’m going to send someone I can trust. Someone who isn’t on Raphael’s side. Someone who believes in heaven and in the favor father has shown you. She’ll look after you in case your little goose is cooked too early, or if someone needs to call me at the end.”  
  
    “Gabriel, honestly, I should be fine.”  
  
    “Sorry, kiddo,” the archangel told him, bopping him on the nose with a forefinger. “Not going to risk it. Just... let your siblings take care of you too, okay?”  
  
    Castiel was quiet, but he nodded in agreement.  
  
    “Thank you, brother,” he spoke. Gabriel waved him off, reaching over and pressing a palm to his forehead.  
  
    “Get some real sleep, why don’t you,” he said, coaxing the Angel into a deep, restorative rest.  
  
    As Cas slept, Gabriel watched him a moment, contemplating the odd combination of human vessel and angelic energy. As much as he and Balthazar liked to pretend that they were flouting the rules of heaven and living their own way, Cas was truly a pioneer of free will, and it was a little scary to watch. They were eternal, after all, and his little brother - whom he loved - was changing and aging right before his eyes. But the younger man radiated happiness, as if he were made from joy. And Gabriel was going to protect that, because he loved Cas. But it didn’t mean he had to like it.  
  
    He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the younger Angel’s forehead before rising from the bed. He wished he could find an issue with Cas’s new family, but the truth was they appeared to give him all the love and adoration he deserved - and Gabriel knew it. He watched them. Even when they weren’t with Cas, he was watching. Especially Dean. And he had to say, he was impressed with the emotionally stunted, affectionless hunter’s ability to change his entire life for the happiness of his younger brother - and so far, Dean had proven himself faithful and sincere. Gabriel didn’t know if he’d had a hot, young stripper straddling his lap, if he’d have been able to ignore her. But for now, he had no reason to smite the elder Winchester boy, so he had to settle with supporting Castiel.  
  
    Before leaving, the archangel picked up his brother’s phone and punched in a text. He received a reply quickly after, and he responded in turn. He waited until he got a final reply before returning the phone, chuckling to himself in an attempt not to wake the other Angel.    
  
    He may not be happy with his brother’s recent decisions, but getting to screw with Dean Winchester was something they could both enjoy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean had just been shown into the exam room, and was getting out a book to keep Mary entertained when his phone alarmed that he received a message. He kept one arm secure around the baby on his lap as he pulled the phone from his pocket, checking the texts.  
  
     _Gabe here  - your hubby is sleeping like a little Angel. One that swallowed a small moon. I think it’s time to send a sibling to keep an eye on him until the blessed event, JIC. Don’t worry, it’s won’t be Balthy. Kisses._  
  
    Dean frowned, not having time to worry about why Gabriel was texting him - or even doing in his house. He texted back, hoping the other angel was still there.  
  
     _You think there’s something wrong with Cas or the baby?_  
  
    He waited with a lead weight on his chest until the text chimed again.  
  
   _Nah, just a precaution. Just until the little one makes his debut._  
  
    Dean sighed, feeling only slightly relieved by the admission. Knowing Gabriel, he was down-playing his reason for sending an angel to watch over Cas. It was either for medical safety, or physical safety - so Dean wasn’t about to refuse. It was only for a couple months anyway, and angels knew how to make themselves conveniently scarce, like Cas did when they first met.  
  
    Quickly he typed in a text as he heard the doctor outside the room, pulling the chart from the tray outside his door.  
      
_Thank you. I’m grateful._  
  
    Just as he hit send, the door opened and doctor Stewart stepped in. She smiled warmly at Dean, setting her laptop down on the counter before speaking.  
  
    “How are you today, Mr. Winchester?” she asked. Dean stood, shifting Mary in his arms as she tried to burrow down into his flannel overshirt, whispering ‘no’.  
  
    “I’m fine,” he replied. “I’m here for Mary’s check-up, not for me...”  
  
    “I see,” the doctor smiled, tilting her head to look at the blue eyes peering out at her. “And how is the other Mr. Winchester? He’s usually the one that brings Mary to these well-baby checkups, but... I haven’t seen him for the last two now.”  
  
    “Uh,” Dean began, rubbing the back of Mary’s hair soothingly. “He’s at home - he’s fine though. I mean, he’s good. He would have love to come, but...” he shrugged a bit, as if there was something unavoidable that Cas had to do instead. Dr Stewart crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
    “Is he still having trouble with weight gain?” she asked, gently. Dean’s eyes involuntarily bugged at her question. The doctor continued. “I noticed the last time he was in here that he was a little... fuller in the belly area. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” she insisted. “Many newlyweds find themselves gaining a bit of weight at the beginning. Especially for the partner who doesn’t work outside the home. However, if it’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t want to leave the house, I would be concerned for the health implications.”  
  
    Dean stared at her, his mouth agape. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair.  
  
    “Ugh, no... it’s nothing like that. I mean, yeah, he’s gained a little weight, but... he’s not embarrassed. No...”  
  
    Dr. Stewart raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment further on Castiel’s perceived condition.  
  
    “Well then,” she spoke, turning her attention back to the blonde baby. “How is Miss Mary doing?”  
  
    Dean looked down to where his daughter was still hiding against his chest.  
  
    “Well, this is a new thing she’s started...” he said a little self-consciously. “And... and Cas is worried that she won’t get proper nutrition if we don’t feed her vegetables, but she doesn’t like them!”  
  
    Dr Stewart smiled.  
  
    “Well, we’ll just take a look at where she’s at right now. If you want to get her down to her diaper, we’ll get a weight for her.”  
  
    Dean sat back down, gently coaxing Mary out of her romper and her t-shirt, laying them over her diaper bag and setting her little shoes and socks on top. Mary tried to crawl back into his neck until she noticed that the doctor had a small stuffed bear.  
  
    “You want this?” Dr. Stewart asked, shaking the little bear to increase the baby’s interest. “Here you go.”  
      
    Mary took the plush toy, wrapping her little fingers around the plush fur and cooing softly. Dean grinned at his child’s absolute adorableness.  
  
    “Just lay here on the scale and we’ll get her measurements,” the doctor instructed. Dean did as he was told, laying Mary in the baby scale and holding her legs straight so the doctor could get a height measurement after the weight. Once done, he picked his baby back up and held her in his arms. “Well, she’s twenty point eight pounds, which is on the higher end of average for her age. And twenty nine and a half inches long, which is also on the higher end of average... head circumference is good; normal.” she donned her stethoscope, and listened quietly to the baby’s chest and back. “Heart sounds good, lungs clear.” she took a pen light from her jacket pocket, shining it quickly back and forth in Mary’s field of vision. “Her eyes are nice and clear, good pupil reaction... and they’re just beautiful,” Dean grinned broadly.  
  
    “She get’s that from her daddy,” he said, proudly. Dr Stewart smiled.  
  
    “So, is the other Mr. Winchester her biological father?” she asked, making a note on her clipboard. Dean stammered for a moment, before nodding numbly. “I didn’t mean to offend you,” Dr Stewart said gently. “I know that you are both equally Mary’s parents. But from a medical standpoint, it’s better to have the records reflect the biological parentage in case of any illnesses or hereditary issues.”  
  
    Dean nodded again,  trying his best to smile despite the sick feeling in his stomach.  
  
    “I guess it’s sort of pointless to ask you whether or not you think she’ll stay so bow-legged...” he said, trying to laugh. The doctor smiled, nodding.  
  
    “Most babies outgrow that.”  
  
    “Oh, good...” Dean said softly. The doctor reviewed the baby’s chart.  
  
    “Well, she’s a little above the seventy-fifth percentile for height and weight, and all her vaccinations are current until she’s a year old - which is coming up quickly by the way.”  
      
    “Cas already has the appointments scheduled,” Dean explained, as he worked on redressing the baby. “He’s really adamant about the schedule.”  
  
    “Well, it definitely shows. She’s very healthy.” she smiled sympathetically at him. “And don’t worry if she’s preferring fruit to vegetables right now. I would suggest mixing them together for a while. When she get’s older, just make sure she is seeing her dads eat plenty of healthy foods too.”  
  
    “Right,” Dean agreed, “You want this bear back?”  
  
    “No, she can have it. I have tons of little toys for the infants just into their shy, mommy and daddy only phase,” Dr Stewart told him. “I’m going to get some information on infant nutrition and I’ll be right back.”  
  
    Dean sighed heavily when she left the room, and he looked down at the baby in his arms. She lifted her blue eyes to him, smiling happily as she tried to gnaw on one of the bear’s arms. Tenderly, he drew a fingertip along the freckles that dotted the skin across her nose.  
  
    “You’re my baby, Mary,” he murmured softly, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. “You got two daddies, and I hope that you really understand that when you get older.”  
  
    “Da da...” she cooed in return, reaching up to touch his face.  
  
    “You better believe it,” he agreed with a smile.  
  
    Dean shifted, thinking he heard a hand on the doorknob, but when it didn’t open, he stood and moved to the door. He could hear the doctor speaking on the other side.  
  
    “No Greg, there’s obviously something going on and we’re going to figure it out.”  
  
    Dean opened the door and he could see Dr Stewart on the phone, her expression not amused. She continued to speak to the person on the other end.  
  
    “If it’s something going on between the boys - no, I’m not saying Derrik would hurt Jeff, that’s not it. But Greg, you saw the marks on him and what do they tell us? That we have ghosts in the new house?” Dean frowned, opening the door a little wider. “I’m not saying Derrik hurt him, Greg, calm down. I’m saying that something happened and they are trying to cover it up with a silly story about ghosts. Jeff is only five. We have to do something...” she looked up, meeting Dean’s eyes.  “Look, I have to go. I’m working, and I have a patient waiting. We’ll talk when I get home.” when she turned off the phone, Dean opened the door and let her in. “I apologize for the wait,” she said. Dean shook his head.  
  
    “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear...”  
  
    Dr. Stewart tried to smile.  
  
    “My boys are not happy that we moved.” she gave a small laugh. “They’re trying to say it’s haunted.”  
  
    “Someone got hurt?” Dean asked, holding Mary tightly at the thought of spirits harming a child. The doctor waived her hand.  
  
    “My youngest, he had some scratches on his back and arms... My older son - my husband’s son - usually treats Jeff like his full brother, so I think he must have got hurt when they were rough housing... But, the haunting story is just getting more over the top. It’s okay. I’m sorry you had to overhear that.”  
  
    “It’s no problem, I...” he took a deep breath. “I actually have some experience with... hauntings...”  
  
    Dr. Stewart raised an eyebrow.  
  
    “Really?” she asked, incredulously. Dean gave a nervous laugh.  
  
    “Well, there are other things in a house that can cause the ‘haunting’ appearance.” he explained. “Bad wiring, high electromagnetic fields, shifts in foundation... you’d be surprised. If the boys were playing in an area that shifted in an odd way, causing someone to fall, it could seem... supernatural.”  
  
    “Huh,” Dr. Stewart replied. “I didn’t consider that. I’ll have my husband call some people out to look into the structure.” she handed him a couple pamphlets on nutrition and his exit paperwork. She pinched Mary’s chubby cheek before saying goodbye.  
  
    Dean gathered Mary’s things and took her back to the Impala, strapping her in to her carseat. When he settled in his own seat, he looked through the pamphlets the doctor gave him. The first three were solely on baby nutrition and how to get an infant to still eat vegetables after introducing fruit. The next three were on adult and family nutrition, one focusing on remaining stress free after baby. Dean sighed, tossing them into the diaper bag and driving home.  
  
    Sam was in the living room with Jessica, quizzing her on medication interaction. Both picked up on Dean’s slightly grumpy demeanor right away.  
  
    “What happened?” Jessica asked, setting her book aside. Sam’s eyes were wide with concern.  
  
    “Is Mary okay? What’d the doctor say?”  
  
    “Oh, she’s fine,” Dean sighed, handing the little girl to his brother. “The doctor said she was perfect. Healthy, happy... should grow out of her bow-legs.”  
  
    Sam pressed his lips together a moment before asking.  
  
    “Did... did she bring that up?”  
  
    “No,” Dean replied, running a hand over his hair. “I did. What she brought up was... she asked me if Cas wasn’t at the appointment because he was...” he made an odd motion with his hand. Jessica’s eyes grew wide, her eyebrows raising.  
  
    “ _Gay_?” she asked, incredulously. “I mean, shouldn’t that issue be moot?”  
  
    “No,” Dean shook his head, sitting forward to speak quietly. “She asked if he was embarrassed about his... weight gain.”  
  
    Both Jessica and Sam sat back, surprised.  
  
    “No,” Sam gasped. “When did she see Cas last?”  
  
    Dean shrugged, but Jessica answered.  
  
    “Mary’s five month check up,” she said. “Cas wasn’t that big then, I mean... he’s really doubled since then. I guess he would have looked just sort of... heavy... to an outsider.”  
  
    Dean groaned, leaning back on the sofa and scrubbing his hands down his face.  
  
    “If he doesn’t take Mary to her one year check-up,” Dean said glumly. “She’s going to think I’m just letting him set at home, taking care of the baby and eating crap while he watches soap operas.”  
  
    Jessica gave a snort of laughter.  
  
    “We don’t watch soaps,” she told him. “And Cas doesn’t like ‘crap’. He likes cooking, but he doesn’t each much. Unless you’re making burgers, of course. But, I think that has more to do with some sort of emotional association.”  
  
    Dean frowned.  
  
    “And my burgers are damn good,” he was quiet a moment before he spoke again. “Oh, and I think our doctor’s new house is haunted. Her kid got hurt... so... yeah...”  
  
    “Wow,” Sam commented. “That’s... not cool.”  
  
    “No,” Dean agreed, rising. “I’m going to go check on Cas.”  
      
    He touched the baby’s hair on his way past, moving on upstairs to his room. Castiel was still where he left him, sleeping peacefully in the middle of the bed. Part of him wanted to let the Angel sleep, but it had been over an hour so he didn’t want to interrupt his sleep for the night. Slipping off his shoes, Dean settled on the bed behind the Angel.  
  
    “Hey baby,” he murmured, nuzzling the side of the Angel’s throat. “You have a good nap?”  
  
    Castiel groaned as he was pulled from sleep, and he stretched his shoulders forward, rounding out his back as his muscles protested.  
  
    “... wings... kink...”  
  
    Dean’s brow creased and he leaned up to look at his husband.  
  
    “Excuse me?” he asked.  
  
    Castiel rolled onto his back and blinked up at Dean.  
  
    “What?” he asked. Dean gave an amused grin, running his hand through Cas’s hair.  
  
    “You said ‘wing kink’,” he replied. “What were you dreaming about?”  
  
    “Oh,” Cas said, sitting up. Dean sat up with him, watching the other man stretch out his back again. “No, it’s... I have a kink in my scapular muscle.”  
  
    Dean’s amusement turned to concern and he brought a hand to the Angel’s back.  
  
    “What can I do to help?” he asked. Cas turned to him, a gentle smile on his face.  
  
    “I just need to stretch it. I’ll just step out in the back yard and stretch them out.”  
  
    Dean felt a new, more intense sickness in his gut. He unconsciously rubbed Castiel’s back where he imagined his wings would be.  
  
    “It’s been a while since you’ve flown, huh?” he asked gently. Castiel’s smile didn’t change.  
  
    “Yes. I couldn’t risk flight when I wasn’t sure when it would stop working. Especially now,” he said, running a hand over the swell of his abdomen.  
  
    “Maybe once the baby comes you could give it a shot, hm?” Dean asked. “I want you to be able to enjoy it while you can...”  
  
    Castiel made a gentle sigh, taking Dean’s hands and lacing their fingers together.  
  
    “Flight is an amazing part of being an Angel,” he said honestly. “I would compare it to the human experience of... driving or...  skydiving, I guess...unfortunate to lose the experience of, but, there are more important things.”  
  
    Dean looked down at him. He wanted to apologize for changing his life, to tell him that he was grateful that he chose their life together, but still sorry that it wasn’t like heaven and flying. Before he could say anything, Castiel made an exclamation of surprise and brought a hand to his belly. Dean felt his mouth go dry.  
  
    “What!?” he asked, alarmed. “Cas, baby, you okay? Talk to me.”  
  
    “I...” Cas’s eyes were wide and he pressed his hand harder against his stomach. “I... I can _feel_ him, Dean.”  
  
    Dean stared back at him, confusion replacing alarm.  
  
    “Wh-what do you mean, babe?” he asked. “I thought you could always feel his energy?”  
  
    Cas shook his head.  
  
    “I could always feel the _grace_.” he explained. “But, since I too have grace, it has always just felt like an intense concentration of it. But now... now I feel what Gabriel can feel. That... that it’s our child... separate from me...and he... he’s alive. And he - oh!”  
  
    He grabbed Dean’s hand and pressed it to his abdomen, holding his breath as he waited. Dean was holding his breath as well, not sure of what he was waiting for, but in a couple of tense moments, Dean could feel the movement underneath Castiel’s skin.  
  
    “What the-” Dean laughed out loud, letting Cas move his hand to chase the movement. “What... is that?”  
  
    “It’s our son,” Cas replied, with emotion in his voice and tears in his eyes. “It’s the power of his grace existing independently of mine... Oh Dean... Dean...” he turned, wrapping his arms around the hunter and held tightly to him. Dean hugged him back, his eyes stinging with his own emotion. Any thoughts of guilt over Castiel’s choice to live this life with him was gone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Two days later, Gabriel appeared at the house - oddly enough, at the front door. The surprise must have been visible on Dean’s face when he opened the door. Gabriel raised an eyebrow.  
  
    “Bad time?” he asked. Dean shook his head, stepping back and motioning the angel and his companion inside.  
  
    “No,” he said. “We were just sitting down to lunch. Uh, come on in,”  
  
    Dean gave an awkward smile and a small nod of greeting to the woman with Gabriel, but he got the distinct impression of disapproval from her. He followed them the short distance into the dining room.  
  
    “Brother,” Castiel greeted, rising from his seat and crossing to the archangel. They embraced each other warmly, and Castiel looked truly pleased to see his family, so Dean just sighed and tried to keep his expression neutral. Sam and Jess made greetings as well. Gabriel leaned down over Mary.  
  
    “And how are you, little one?” he asked. Mary eyed him warily before turning herself in her chair, raising her hands to Castiel.  
  
    “Dada,” she whined, shyly. Castiel ran a hand over her hair.  
  
    “She’s going through a phase,” he explained. “You should come over more often so she’s used to you.”  
  
    Gabriel smiled.  
  
    “Maybe someday,” he told his brother. “When all this is over. But,” he extended a hand behind himself and motioned his companion forward. “I’ve brought our sister to keep you company.”  
  
    “Hello Castiel,” she spoke, almost reverently, taking the hand he offered in both of hers. “It is an honor to assist you. You may not know me-”  
  
    “Of course I do, Hannah,” he told her warmly. “Your corp brought medical relief to my garrison once. It was very much appreciated and not forgotten.”  
  
    Hannah blushed and visibly swelled proudly at the praise, but as her eyes dropped from Castiel’s to the obvious distension of his stomach, her smile faltered. Cas spoke.  
  
    “Sister, this is my family,” he said, motioning toward Sam and Jessica. “This is Sam, my brother-in-law, and his wife, Jessica.”  
  
    “Pleasure to meet you,” Jess said to her, shaking her hand. Sam nodded in agreement. Castiel smiled as he turned to Dean.  
  
    “And this is my husband, Dean,” he explained.  
  
    “The Righteous Man,” Hannah spoke, causing Dean’s hand to fall before she could even move to take it. “Your fate, and when it crossed with Castiel’s, is famous among my brothers and sisters.”  
  
    Jessica looked back to Sam curiously as the air seemed to become tense. Cas spoke before anyone had a chance to.  
  
    “Dean is so much more than what our brethren had planned for him,” he told the angel. “I’m glad that you will get this opportunity to know him better. And to know our family.” he smiled down at Mary, picking up a napkin and wiping her off a bit before unbuckling her safety straps and lifting her into his arms. Hannah and Gabriel didn’t miss the way Dean’s hands moved nervously as if he didn’t want the pregnant Angel lifting anything. “Hannah, this is Mary, my daughter.”  
  
    Hannah tilted her head to the side, watching the tiny demi-human as she rested her head on Cas’s shoulder, peering out with such wide blue eyes.  
  
    “A nephilim,” Hannah said quietly,  her eyes taking in all of little Mary’s features. “I’ve heard tales that they were... giants... and vicious... but... Castiel, she is beautiful.”  
  
    “Thank you,” Cas replied, placing a gentle kiss on Mary’s head. Dean gave a small laugh.  
  
    “She can be pretty vicious if you take the fruit away,” he commented. Sam gave a snort of laughter and Jessica covered her giggle with her hand. Cas smiled.  
  
    “Yes, she loves fruit.” he said with humor in his tone. He turned to Gabriel then. “We just sat down to lunch. Would you like to have something? Dean made grilled chicken. It’s quite good and there is plenty.”  
      
    “Why not,” Gabriel agreed, and Sam moved to grab more plates and cutlery from the cabinet. Hannah looked concerned as she watched the Archangel settle next to their brother at the table.  
  
    “But... we don’t eat,” she spoke, hesitantly.  
  
    “We don’t,” Gabriel agreed. “But we can. Sit.”  
  
    Hannah sat and thanked Dean when he served her a portion of chicken and pasta salad. She listened quietly to the group as she ate her meal, the cold, tanginess of the pasta her favorite of the two. Castiel was telling a fascinating story about feeling the grace of the nephilim he currently had gestating in his vessel. Hannah was fascinated by how Castiel’s rebellion was so favored by their father. And while he looked a little tired, he looked happy. She was particularly fascinated by the expression on her brother’s face when he would look upon the Righteous Man, Dean.  
  
    “So, Hannah,” The angel startled at the direct address from the young blonde, Jessica. The girl smiled warmly at her and continued. “Cas tells us he was a soldier in heaven. What is your job?”  
  
    Hannah sat her fork down and looked around at the group. All eyes were now upon her.  
  
    “I am in spiritual support,” she explained. “I minister to the prayers of those needing additional support in their faith. During times of war, I support the medical corp.”  
  
    “That has to be hard,” Jessica said kindly. “To see your brothers and sisters in pain.”  
  
    Hannah shook her head.  
  
    “I can heal them, so it’s not hard at all...”  
  
    She looked around at the odd expressions on the human’s faces, but Castiel was smiling warmly at her.  
  
    After lunch, Dean insisted he would clear the table and clean up so that Cas could spend the time with his siblings. Cas wiped down the baby and sat her on his lap while he chatted with Gabriel and Hannah in the living room. Hannah had a hard time not staring at his stomach.  
  
    “Is you vessel uncomfortable?” she asked pointedly, watching Mary hug her father’s belly as she tried to hide her face from the visitors. Cas lifted the baby to his chest, letting her hide her face against his neck instead.  
  
    “A little,” he answered. “It just feels very... tight. And my center of gravity is unfortunately off balance.”  
  
    Hannah watched him quietly a moment before continuing.  
  
    “Aren’t you scared? There are not...well... any stories of Angel’s in a male vessel bearing nephilim.”  
  
    Cas took a deep breath, bringing a hand to Mary’s back.  
  
    “I’m only scared of what our brothers would do to my family if we can’t get Raphael to see that an apocalypse is not the answer. Regardless of what they think of me, think of my actions, my children are innocent.” he kissed the baby on top of her head, and she reached up to stroke his cheek. “They’re innocent,” Cas repeated, softy.  
  
    Gabriel stood, pulling Castiel’s attention back to him.  
  
    “Well, I should let you two get more acquainted,” he leaned over, kissing Castiel on the forehead and kissing Mary vigorously on the back of the neck until she shrieked with laughter. Castiel was smiling.  
  
    “Say ‘bye-bye’ to uncle Gabriel, Mary,” he encouraged. Mary shifted her blue eyes up to the archangel, and opened and closed her hand at him, whispering ‘bye-bye’. Gabriel chuckled, tousling her hair.  
  
    “Don’t get up kiddo,” he said to his little brother, before turning to Hannah. “Remember what I told you. Thank you for your help.”  
  
    Hannah nodded, and Gabriel was gone in a soft flutter of wings. Mary popped up from her father’s shoulder and looked around the room.  
  
    “Un... Un...” she said sadly, and confusedly. Castiel kissed her gently on the cheek.  
  
    “Uncle Gabriel went bye-bye, beloved,” he murmured. “But look, aunt Hannah is still here,” he turned to the other angel. “Would you like to hold her?”  
  
    “Oh, no, I couldn’t,” Hannah insisted. “She doesn’t look like she trusts me yet, and I wouldn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable.”  
  
    Castiel’s brow furrowed as he looked down at his daughter.  
  
    “You’re probably right,” he agreed. He looked to his sister, quiet a moment before he asked. “What did Gabriel tell you?”  
  
    Hannah took a breath, folding her hands in her lap.  
  
    “He told me to assist you,” she replied. “To make sure that you are safe. And to call him if you had difficulty delivering.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, re-situating the baby in his arms.  
  
    “Well, I feel I should give you some information on blending in with humans,” he told her sagely. Dean and Sam turned from the conversation they were having in the kitchen to listen to the Angel. “Humans rely heavily on culture references, particularly popular culture. I suggest you watch as much television as you can when you have time to yourself.”  
  
    “I see,” Hannah replied, nodding. Castiel continued.  
  
    “There are certain things that are taboo to speak of with humans,” he told her. “Generally, any function of the body is something you don’t speak of, unless it is with someone you are intimately familiar with. Or very close family.”  
  
    Hannah looked confused by this bit of information.  
  
    “Then how do you learn to be human?” she asked. Castiel gave a tilt of his head as he shrugged.  
  
    “It’s difficult.” he admitted. “You have to try to observe, and to read, and if you are lucky, you get a friend who will help explain things to you. However, it’s mostly trial and error and... well, private.”  
  
    Sam glanced sideways at Dean, noticing the slight look of pain on his face. Hannah was quiet as she processed the information. Castiel continued.  
  
    “And human’s have strict rules about personal space. There are certain relationship under which that boundary may be breached, but in general, you should not invade a human’s personal space.”  
  
    Hannah shook her head slowly, as if she were making mental note of what he said. She paused a moment before inquiring.  
  
    “Why... would I invade another’s personal space?”  
  
    Castiel took a breath to respond, but found that he didn’t have a response. Even if he had a response, it was hard to speak with the snorting laughter from his brother-in-law. Castiel felt himself blush, looking over his shoulder to the trio in the kitchen. Sam and Jess were smiling back at him, but Dean’s expression was one more akin to affection. He pushed himself from where he leaned on the counter, walking into the living room and leaning over the Angel, wrapping an arm around his chest and kissing his cheek.  
  
    “I never minded you in my personal space,” he murmured against his husband’s ear. “I just didn’t know how to tell you I wanted you closer.”  
  
    Castiel’s blush deepened, but he smiled.  
  
    “Hey!” Sam called, with mock outrage. “What are you whispering about in there!”      
  
    “Mind your own business, Sammy,” Dean growled back at him, but there was no conviction behind it. He pulled the baby from Cas’s arms, kissing her gently on the face and letting her lay down against his shoulder. “I’m going to put her down for her nap.”  
  
    “Ah, a nap,” Castiel sighed. “One of the best things about being human.”  
  
    Dean held out a hand to him, helping him to his feet. Hannah quietly observed the small interactions between the two. The way Dean’s hand lingered in Castiel’s after the Angel stood and the way he slid his hand down Castiel’s back as he passed. Castiel stopped at the bottom of the staircase, turning to his sister.  
  
    “Would you like to help put the baby down?” he asked. Hannah worried that it was too early for her to jump right in to Winchester domestic life, but she nodded and followed them up the stairs. Maybe these little domestic things held the key as to how her brother, the famed soldier and strategist Castiel, and help cast him from heaven to fall for the world of man. Even though she was supposed to do nothing but assist Castiel, she was hoping she could also understand him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    The first week with Hannah there was interesting, to say the least. She tried her best to integrate herself unassumingly into the Winchester household, and it was especially easy when Dean and Sam were at work and Jessica was at school, and she and Castiel would sit quietly together. Hannah helped him with the laundry, even though Dean explicitly told him not to do anything strenuous. They sat in the living room folding freshly dried clothes and watching television, and after lunch, Castiel snuggled his baby on the sofa while she nursed from a bottle of formula. Hannah watched him with curiosity at the gentle way he cuddled the baby against his chest, and the absolute look of adoration on his face as he looked down upon her. When they would inevitably fall asleep together, Hannah would sit quietly and wait. There was always a moment when Mary would wake first and would coo happily and chew on the collar of her father’s shirt, but even Hannah had to admit it was adorable.  
  
    Dean would call around lunch time to check on both the Angel and the infant, and Hannah had no trouble hearing both sides of the conversation. They were innocuous conversations though, generally with the Righteous Man asking if Castiel was well, and resting enough, and reassurance of his affection. She hadn’t told Castiel, particularly because Gabriel had expressly told her not to, but part of her duty while with the Winchesters to keep an eye on Dean Winchester’s behavior toward their brother, to make sure that Cas was properly cared for. So far, Dean appeared to be sincere in his affection.  
  
    On Friday, Jessica and Sam took a date night together, and left Dean, Cas, and Hannah home with the baby. After putting Mary down for the night, Dean settled on the sofa next to his husband, but felt as though they were being chaperoned by Castiel’s matronly older sister.  
  
    To Dean’s delight, Hannah turned to them just as the evening news was beginning and said.  
  
    “If you don’t mind, I need to return to heaven momentarily. Gabriel and I spoke about making periodic trips back, so as not to bring attention to my absence.”  
  
    “By all means,” Dean said, more quickly than he intended. “I mean, if you have to. Take your time.”  
  
    Castiel tried not to smile at Dean’s enthusiasm.  
  
    “Of course, Hannah.” Cas told her. “We couldn’t keep you any longer than you have already graciously agreed. Please, feel free. Return when you want.”  
  
    “Thank you, Castiel,” Hannah said, standing. “Thank you, ... Dean. I will be back.”  
  
    Before they could say another word, Hannah was gone. Dean sighed, but Castiel was surprised by the words he spoke.  
  
    “It’s really nice of your family to help us out.” Castiel looked up at his husband, and Dean was smirking. “I mean, they owe us, so... they owe us....”  
  
    Castiel chuckled, slipping his arm around Dean’s waist and let his husband pull him in close. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Dean’s lips pressing kissing into his hair. Castiel turned slightly in Dean’s arms, and Dean wasted no time in bringing their lips together. Castiel moaned happily into the kiss, his hand stroking Dean’s cheek.  
  
    “It’s nice to have you all to myself,” Dean spoke, shifting to try and get Castiel closer into his arms. Cas smiled.  
  
    “You haven’t had me to yourself in seven months,” he replied. Dean chuckled, running his hand over Castiel’s belly.  
  
    “Well, I don’t think I mind sharing you with the baby for a bit longer, besides,” Dean grinned, giving a wag of his eyebrows. “If I’d have known how horny pregnancy would make you, we’d have had six kids by now.”Castiel blushed, turning his face down against Dean’s chest. “Don’t be embarrassed,” Dean spoke, rubbing the Angel’s back. “I’m thrilled, believe me.”  
  
    “Dean,” Castiel said, giving him a pleading look. “Don’t tease me. I... I can’t help it that... that I desire you.”  
  
    “Trust me,” Dean said softly, brushing Castiel’s hair back. “Right back at you babe.”  
  
    Castiel raised an eyebrow, incredulously.  
  
    “Even when my body has changed so much?” he asked. “And it’s... limiting our options?”  
  
    Dean’s grin returned and he shook his head  
  
    “I wouldn’t say limit,” he responded. “so much as... broadened.”  
  
    Cas’s blush deepened, but Dean chuckled and pulled the Angel closer, forcing him onto his lap. Castiel shifted awkwardly, unable to get as close to the hunter as he would like, but he slipped his arms around Dean’s neck and leaned in to kiss him. Dean was feeling particularly affectionate and naughty, so as he sweetly returned all of Castiel’s warm, slow kisses, he reached down and firmly palmed the Angel though his pants. Castiel took in a sharp breath, moaning as he broke from their kiss. Dean chuckled, grinning up at his husband.  
  
    “Nice,” Dean spoke smoothly, continuing to massage his husband’s erection through his clothes, the other hand threading through his hair. “I guessed correctly.”  
  
    “Dean,” Castiel moaned, bringing his hands to the hunter’s face and kissing him softly, distracted by Dean’s attention.  
  
    “So, I got an idea,” Dean murmured, enjoying the small sounds of pleasure he was pulling from his husband. “Why don’t we go upstairs... get you out of these pants... and get me into you, hm?”  
  
    Castiel chuckled softly, his lips meeting Dean’s in a non-verbal answer. Just as Dean put his hands on the Angel’s hips to help him up, his phone rang.  
  
    Both men sighed, looking to the offending electronic device as it lit up, playing the opening chords to Smoke on the Water.  
      
    “Timing,” Dean grumbled, picking up the phone and pressing the answer button. “This is Dean.”  
  
    There was a hesitation on the other end, and Castiel slid off of his husband’s lap and moved to his side, watching Dean’s face as the conversation began.  
  
    “Mr. Winchester?” a female voice spoke. “I’m sorry to trouble you so late at night, um, this is Dr Stewart...”  
  
    Dean’s brow furrowed and he looked at Cas’s curious expression.  
  
    “Hey doc, is everything okay?”  
  
    There was another uneasy pause before she responded.  
  
    “Um... well, I was hoping that you could give me some additional information about what could... could cause those ... haunting type experiences other than the things you already told me...”  
  
    Dean could hear the suppressed fear and emotion in her voice, and he set forward on the couch.  
  
    “What’s going on? Are the kids okay?” he asked. Dr. Stewart took a deep breath.  
  
    “Yes, but... god this is crazy. I’m so sorry I bothered you.”  
  
    “No, don’t hang up,” Dean insisted sharply, changing the phone to his other ear. “Believe me, you’re not crazy.” he made a writing motion in the air and Castiel pushed himself to his feet. “What’s you address? I know you think this is pretty far out, but I guarantee you, I can help.”  
  
    Cas picked up a note pad and pen off of the family center table and handed it over the back of the sofa to Dean, watching him jot down an address on the paper.  
  
    “Look,” Dean continued. “Leave the key in the mailbox. You and your husband get the kids in the car and you go out for ice cream or something, and you wait for me to call you back, okay?”  
  
    She must have agreed, because Dean hung up the phone right after.  
  
    “A case?” Castiel asked, his eyes narrow with concern. Dean nodded, scrolling through his phone contacts.  
  
    “Yeah, Dean?” his brother spoke upon answering.  
  
    “I hate to do this to you and Jess, Sammy,” Dean told him as he crossed to the door and pulled on his boots. “But I need a favor. Can you get home so someone is here with Cas?”  
  
    Dean ignored the Angel’s protests that he could be home alone. Sam responded.  
  
    “Of course. We’re just getting our check right now. Is everything okay?”  
  
    “Well,” Dean told him. “Not sure. The doctor just called. She seemed pretty freaked out. I’m heading over to her house. I’ll text you the address. Can you meet me there?” Sam answered without hesitation.  
  
    “Of course,”  
  
    “Right,” Dean said. “Thanks. See you soon.”  
  
    Once he hung up and pocketed his phone, Cas was protesting again.  
  
    “Dean, I can stay here by myself just fine-”  
  
    Dean brought his hands to the Angel’s face and kissed him.  
  
    “I need Sam with me on this one, Cas,” he explained. “And I wouldn’t feel right leaving you here alone with the baby. Just go about your normal night and don’t worry about me, okay?”  
  
    Castiel stared at him a moment before nodding.  
      
    “Be careful,” he said.  
  
    Castiel didn’t wait more than ten minutes before Jessica came sprinting into the house for Sam’s duffel bag and rushed back out to give it to him. When she returned, she sat next to Cas on the sofa, sympathetically holding his hand and affectionately smoothing his hair back into a less ravaged appearance.  
  
    They tried to watch the news, but Jessica could tell Castiel was glancing down to his own phone on the coffee table, waiting for it to ring. By two in the morning, the Angel fell asleep with his head on the back of the sofa and a hand on his abdomen. Jessica covered him with a quilt and curled up at his side.  
  
    “I’m getting too old for this,” Dean sighed, wiping the sweat and dirt from his brow as he slammed the trunk of the Impala. Sam nodded.  
  
    “You do realize” he began. “that, as federal agents, it looks a whole lot shadier when we dig up corpses to salt and burn, right?”  
  
    Dean chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled out his phone.  
  
    “I’ll meet you at home. Tell Jess I owe her one.”  
  
    Sam smiled as he pushed himself from the car.  
  
    “I’ll make it up to her.” he assured his brother. “See you at home.”  
  
    Dean called Dr Stewart and went to meet her and her family at their house. She was stunned to see his disheveled, dirt covered appearance.  
  
    “It was a ghost, wasn’t it?” she asked bluntly, holding her sweater around herself even though it was quite warm. Dean took a breath.  
  
    “Yep.” he told her. “You’re lucky your house had plenty of documented history, or it might have taken my brother and I days to figure out what was going on. The house’s safe now, though. Sam did say that you have a pretty solid ‘failure to disclose’ grievance to file against the seller. You have to tell someone when a person has died in a home, regardless of how long ago it was.”  
  
    Dr. Stewart shook her head, wiping a hand down her face as she looked back to the car where her husband sat with their sleeping boys.  
  
    “I... I can’t believe this,” she sighed, turning back to Dean. “I saw it. I saw its face. This... this wasn’t wiring or electromagnetic fields... this...” she sighed again, heavily. “This is real. How... how do you know about this stuff?”  
  
    “Family business,” Dean replied, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Ghosts aren’t even the half of it. You’d really be surprised.”  
  
    She stared up at him, evenly.  
  
    “Try me.” she said. “I need to know. I need to protect my boys.”  
  
    Dean watched her a moment, sad for the last day of normal life this woman and her family had. He bit his lip a moment before speaking.  
  
    “Everything,” he said. “Everything you’ve ever heard of and think isn’t true.”  
  
    Dr. Stewart stared at him a moment.  
  
    “Poltergeist?” she asked. “gremlins?”  
  
    Dean shook his head, pushing his hands down into his pockets. He felt dirty, and he was surprised by how quickly he had become accustomed to being clean.  
  
    “And not just.” he told her. “Witches, vampires, warewolves, demons... angels...”  
  
    Dr. Stewart ran her hands through her hair, shaking her head in disbelief. Dean waited patiently for her to process this information. She sighed again, rubbing a hand over her forehead.  
  
    “And the house is safe now?” she asked. Dean nodded.  
  
    “Yep. Everything will be fine now. You can tell your boys that. And if you ever need anything again, you got my number.”  
      
    “I don’t know how to thank you,” she said. “I... I really don’t.”  
  
    Dean shrugged, shaking his head. Before he could speak, however, a stray thought came to him.  
  
    “Um... there... there is something,” he replied slowly. She looked up at him with curiosity. Dean cleared his throat. “Um... Cas... isn’t human.”  
  
    Dr. Stewart’s eyes grew wide and she waited, stunned, for him to continue.  
  
    “And he’s not fat,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “He’s... pregnant.”  
  
    “Oh. My. God,” the doctor breathed. “Wh- How?” she asked. “What is he? - is he a he?”  
  
    Dean nodded.  
  
    “Yeah, yeah, he’s a he.” he replied. “He’s... well, it’s not important. But, he’s pregnant. And Mary is ours - mine and his.”  
  
    Dr. Stewart sighed heavily, shaking her head.  
  
    “Dean, that is not something you keep from your doctor,” she told him sternly. Dean gave a short huff of laughter.  
  
    “Yeah, sorry we forgot to mention that.”  
  
    Dr. Stewart kept one hand on her head, as if the information was too much to contain inside her brain. She looked back up at him.  
  
    “How far along is he?” she asked. “I’m going to guess about six or seven months, judging by the size of his abdomen the last time I saw him,” she said the latter more to herself than to Dean. Dean nodded.  
  
    “A little over seven. It doesn’t exactly line up with human’s exactly, but we think he’s got about six weeks left.”  
  
    The doctor stared at him in disbelief.  
  
    “Oh my god, has he been getting proper prenatal care? Did he ever properly recover from having Mary? Do you need help with the delivery?” she asked. “I can do that. I mean, I’m frankly mind-boggled as to how he’s going to deliver, but I’ll give it a shot.”  
  
    Dean grinned, but shook his head.  
  
    “No, he’ll be fine on his own. We just... we’ll need someone to check out the baby when he comes... give him a birth certificate...”  
  
    Dr. Stewart looked steadily up at him.  
  
    “I would be happy to.” she told him.  
  
    Dean smiled, sincerity in his eyes.  
  
    “Thank you,” he told her. “That means a lot to us.”  
  
    “Well,” she told him sternly. “I’ll be making a house call tomorrow to check on him. Make sure he’s well.”  
  
    “I’m not going to complain,” Dean replied. The doctor shook her head again, as if she were now more upset with the idea of Castiel avoiding medical care than a ghost rampaging through her home.  
  
    “I’ll bring you free condoms,” she told him. “Try to put a little distance between the next one. That’s not good on anyone’s body, I don’t care what they are.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, blushing.  
  
    “Um, actually...” he said slowly. “I... I had Mary... Mary... came out of me.. Yeah, I got to go. See you tomorrow.”  
  
    Dean left her standing there gaping at him, but he had a smile on his face as he walked to the car. Damn straight Mary was his and Cas’s baby. His and Cas’s.  
      
    But she still better outgrown those bow-legs...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dean tells me you aren’t human,” Dr Stewart said casually after telling Castiel he could release the breath he was holding. “You seem very human.”  
>  “My vessel is human,” Cas replied, looking over to where Dean leaned on the edge of the wall in front of the stairs. “I am a celestial being, inhabiting the body of a human.”  
>  “It’s his body, though,” Dean added quickly. “It’s not like he stole it. It’s a long story, but his body is human.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter for those of you hanging in there. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I think it's cute how affectionate Dean is getting in his old age... lol

    When Dean got home, Sam and Jess were still sitting up with Castiel in the living room. The Angel looked relieved to see his husband, but Dean was acutely aware of his tired eyes and weary slump to his shoulder. Dean thanked his brother and sister-in-law for waiting, and after locking down the house, he guided Castiel up to bed. The Angel was asleep by the time Dean got out of the shower, and he spooned in behind him before falling asleep himself.   
  
    Even as tired as they were, and as little sleep as they got, Dean and Cas rose at the normal time, going about their usual morning routine.  
  
    Dean was napping on the couch with Mary when a soft knock sounded on the front door. Sam pulled himself from the floor, were he was reviewing a text book for one of the classes he was taking online. He smiled a little nervously upon opening the door.   
  
    “Hi, doctor,” he greeted, stepping aside and letting her inside. “it’s nice to see you.”  
  
    “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Winchester,” Dr Stewart replied. “I haven’t seen you since you accompanied your brother-in-law to Mary’s four month check-up.”  
  
    Sam grinned, nodding. After he shut the door, he leaned over the sofa and gently nudged Dean.  
  
    “What?” Dean grumbled, tightening his arms around Mary. His eyes fell on the doctor before Sam could respond. “Oh. Hi,” he greeted, sitting up. Dr. Stewart smiled at him.  
  
    “Sorry to interrupt your nap. I know you could probably use it.”  
  
    “I could say the same for you,” Dean replied, standing. “I’m gonna go lay her down and get Cas.”  
      
    He could hear Sam offering refreshment as Dean carried his baby upstairs. He found Cas in the nursery, setting on the floor and folding freshly laundered baby clothes. He smiled up at Dean.   
  
    “You’re awake,” he greeted.   
  
    “Yep,” Dean replied, gently laying Mary down in her crib. “The doctor’s here...”  
  
    Castiel grimaced, looking up at his husband.   
  
    “Dean,” he sighed, letting the hunter pull him to his feet. “You know this is pointless. She cannot possibly assist me at this stage.”  
  
    “Humor me,” Dean replied dryly, giving the Angel a quick kiss on the mouth. “C’mon.”  
  
    Obediently, Castiel followed his husband downstairs. Dr. Stewart’s mouth opened in surprise upon seeing the Angel, and she stood as he came into the room.   
  
    Unbeknownst to everyone, Hannah was watching the scene as it unfolded. Gabriel had instructed her to watch; to watch when they didn’t think she was watching. Making it so they couldn’t perceive her vessel made observing these moments very easy, and she could see the Winchesters for how they truly were, without their guard up. She was curious as to who this human was that they were allowing to examine Castiel. She only hoped it was someone trustworthy.  
  
    “Dr. Stewart,” Castiel greeted the new arrival, nodding. “It’s really good of you to come.”  
  
    “Please, it’s no trouble,” she told him. “After what Mr. Winchester did for my family, well..” she shrugged. “I’m indebted.”  
  
    “Nah,” Dean insisted, shaking his head. “Just doing my job. And you can call me Dean,” he indicated toward Castiel and Sam. “And Cas, and Sam.”   
  
    “Thank you,” she said, gratefully. “And thank you for letting me stop by, Cas. I’m honored to get to be able to assist you and your husband after the baby arrives.”  
  
    “Thank you,” Cas replied, setting down on the end of the sofa. “I know this may seem rather... startling to you.”  
  
    Dr. Stewart smiled, nodding.  
  
    “That’s a bit of an understatement. But, this is why I joined a family practice. Taking care of all members of a family is my passion.” she indicated the bag in her hand. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to check your vital signs and ask you a couple of questions?”  
  
    “Of course,” Castiel answered, and Sam discretely faded from the room before anything too invasive happened. Dr. Stewart opened her bag and removed her stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. After noting his blood pressure, she listened to his heart and lungs.   
  
    “Dean tells me you aren’t human,” she said casually after telling Castiel he could release the breath he was holding. “You seem very human.”  
  
    “My vessel is human,” Cas replied, looking over to where Dean leaned on the edge of the wall in front of the stairs. “I am a celestial being, inhabiting the body of a human.”  
  
    “It’s his body, though,” Dean added quickly. “It’s not like he stole it. It’s a long story, but his body is human.” Dean took a deep breath, giving her the reader’s digest version as she took the Angel’s pulse and pressed the thermometer to his ear. She stopped to listen to Dean’s tale, shaking her head when he finished.  
  
    “And now we’re due in late July, early August so... there ya go...”   
  
    “Well,” Dr. Stewart said, putting her stethoscope back in her ears. “That’s quite a tale. Cas, do you mind if I listen to the baby?”  
  
    Castiel shook his head, pulling up the front of his shirt and watching as she pressed the listening device to his abdomen. Dr. Stewart’s eyes narrowed as she listened, moving the instrument around his belly. She didn’t hear anything she was expecting to, no heartbeat, no swoosh of amniotic fluid; just a strange fluttering and a small sound indicating that the Angel was probably hungry. Hannah eyed her warily, but she was also fascinated by the swell and stretch of Castiel’s skin.  
  
    “And, you’re sure that you’re progressing normally?” Dr. Stewart asked, taking the stethoscope out of her ears and hooking is around her neck before pressing her fingers along his belly, trying to get a feel for what was on the other side. Castiel winced.  
  
    “Yes,” he told her. “My brother is quite powerful and he assured me that I am doing well, as is the baby.”  
  
    Dr. Stewart let out a heavy sigh, sitting back.   
  
    “Well, you appear very healthy. Most of the weight gain - if it’s even weight - appears to be contained only in your abdomen. Your blood pressure and pulse are excellent. Your temperature is a bit on the low side, but just a bit.” she shrugged. “Keep doing what you’re doing. Call me when you deliver and I will write it up as a home birth, get the certificate and the vaccinations for you.”  
  
    “We appreciate it,” Dean told her, moving forward as she stood. “This means a lot.”  
  
    “Don’t mention it,” she assured him. She stood, and when Castiel made a movement to do the same, she put up a hand to stop him. “Don’t; you rest. You probably didn’t get a whole lot of sleep on my account, so you should probably take a nap. As a matter of fact, I recommend it.”  
  
    Castiel nodded, a small smile on his face.  
  
    “Very well.”  
  
    Dean walked the doctor to the door, both exchanging thank yous and goodbyes. When Dean shut the door and turned back to the living room, he climbed over the back of the sofa to settle at Castiel side, wrapping an arm around him.   
      
    “That was very nice of Dr. Stewart to stop by,” Castiel spoke, taking Dean’s hand and threading their fingers together. From her position by the fireplace, Hannah watched the small display of affection with curiosity and a bit of repulsion. “And I am grateful that she will help us get our baby a birth certificate. I know that is important.”  
  
    Dean lifted the arm he had behind his husband and ran a hand through the Angel’s hair before pulling him close to kiss his temple.   
  
    “She seems like good people,” he commented. “But you know, doctor’s orders, you should probably go upstairs and take a nap.”  
  
    Castiel was quiet as he brought both his hands to the one he held of Dean’s. Dean watched him quietly as the Angel lightly traced the lines of his hand.  
  
    “I don’t think I’m tired,” Cas spoke lightly. Dean raised an eyebrow, licking his lips before replying.   
  
    “Why don’t you just try to lie down and see what happens? Hm?”  
  
    Castiel looked up at Dean, his eyes narrowing a moment until Dean gave him a small smile. The Angel smiled back, leaning up to press his lips lightly to Dean’s.   
  
    “Come with me,” Castiel spoke, his voice low with an undercurrent of what Dean knew was nothing more than straight-up want.   
  
    “You’re not going to sleep, are you?” Dean asked him, pulling his hand away from Castiel’s and running it down over the Angel’s hip. Castiel made a small sound, his head tilting to the side before he answered.  
  
    “That depends entirely on you.”  
  
    Dean stood, pulling Cas to his feet and taking his hand to lead him back upstairs. Hannah watched them go, curious as to the odd exchange they just had. Was Castiel going to take a nap or not? And how would it depend on any action from Dean?  
  
    Quietly, Hannah followed them upstairs, watching them kiss as Dean shut the bedroom door and locked it. They stood in front of the closed door a moment, embracing each other and moving their heads to get more connection with their lips. Hannah narrowed her eyes; it appeared the Righteous Man was putting his tongue in Castiel’s mouth, his hands gripping into the flesh of the shorter man’s backside, and the Angel was making soft whimpering noises as he clung to the hunter. It was not clear if this was a pleasant or unpleasant exchange.   
  
    Dean broke away to pull off his flannel overshirt and the t-shirt he was wearing underneath. Castiel pulled his own shirt over his head, and Dean began to walk them back toward the bed. When the back of Cas’s thighs hit the mattress, Dean dropped to his knees and pulled the Angel’s pants and boxers down his legs, kissing the exposed skin of his thighs and using his hand to urge Castiel to sit. Castiel’s shaft was already erect and thick with arousal, curving up against his belly. Dean stroked him softly, giving the Angel’s stomach a quick kiss as he stood.   
  
    “Come on, babe,” Dean spoke, pulling back the sheet. “Let’s at least pretend.”  
  
    Castiel moved back on the bed as Dean went to shut off the light and rid himself of his own jeans and underwear. When he returned to the bed, he slid in next to Castiel and they were soon kissing once again. Castiel was moaning softly as Dean’s hands roamed over his body and down beneath the sheet, and soon the Angel was making sounds that Hannah couldn’t tell were pain or pleasure.   
  
    “Dean, please,” Castiel gasped, shifting impatiently. Dean kissed Castiel deeply before pulling away so he could wet his fingers with his tongue, dropping his hand back between the Angel’s thighs. Cas made a hiss at the contact, and he groaned as Dean murmured in his ear.  
  
    “Shhh... relax, baby.” he said, gently stroking his slick fingertips across Castiel’s opening. He waited for the moment when Cas’s body relaxed before pressing a finger inside. Castiel’s eyes fluttered closed and a low sigh escaped him.   
  
    Dean pressed his lips to Castiel’s neck, kissing along the Angel’s throat and shoulder as he slowly worked his fingers in and out of his body. The further along Castiel’s pregnancy had progressed, the harder it was for them to be as easily intimate with one another. They hadn’t been able to make love face to face in months, but Dean made sure to make Cas feel satisfied, both physically and emotionally. The one big plus of their current predicament was that it forced Dean to be more forthright with the Angel, all use of euphemisms and code became a thing of the past. He wanted Cas to be satisfied, so he asked him to tell him outright what he wanted, or what he needed, and what he would be willing to do to accomplish that.   
  
    “Kiss me, baby,” Dean breathed, his lips traveling up the Angel’s throat and chin. Cas turned, letting Dean capture his mouth. The Angel pulled Dean close, running his hands through Dean’s dark honey-colored hair as they kissed.   
  
    When Castiel began to push back against Dean’s hand, he knew that the Angel was ready for something more. He pulled away, leaning behind himself to pluck the bottle of lubricant from the nightstand.   
  
    “What do you think will be more comfortable for you,” Dean asked, rubbing a measure of the clear gel over his erection. “On your side, or on your knees?”  
  
    “I miss facing you,” Cas sighed, kissing him once before turning away from him. “Like this is fine.”  
  
    “I know babe,” Dean agreed, kissing his husband’s shoulder when he moved in closer. He reached in front of Cas and pulled a pillow to tuck underneath the Angel’s knee, before taking himself in hand and pressing firmly into Cas’s body. Castiel moaned, turning his face down into the pillow to dampen the sound as Dean began to thrust just deeply enough to stroke the Angel’s prostate.   
  
    The sheet shifted when Dean sat up to retrieve the lubricant, and was now bunched near their knees, leaving nothing to the imagination. Hannah starred, stunned, at what Castiel was allowing this human to do to him. Allowing him to ... do to his vessel. She wanted to interrupt, or to leave, but she was rooted to the spot, trying to decipher the sounds coming from her brother. Castiel was moaning, and Dean was making soft grunting noises in between the gentle kisses he was placing on Cas’s shoulder and neck. Cas would turn on occasion, and Dean would devour his mouth slowly, passionately, until Castiel pulled away with a gasp, squeezing his eyes closed and panting into the sheets.         
    In minutes, Castiel’s ragged gasps turned into a tiny, breathy chant.  
  
    “no no _nonono_...”  
  
    Hannah felt her feathers ruffle.  
  
    Dean smiled, pressing his brow to the back of the Angel’s head, kissing his hair and rolling his hips with more deliberate motions. The first time he’d heard this particular vocalization, it had stopped him dead. He’d never wanted to hear the word “no” coming from Cas’s lips, but he would always respect it. But he had learned it was Cas’s adorable tell of coming sooner than he wanted to. Dean wrapped an arm around his husband’s waist, just above the beautiful swell of his abdomen, waiting for the inevitable. Cas was fisting the sheets with one hand, holding on to Dean’s arm with the other, and with a gasp of relief he spilled his release onto the bed. Hannah’s mouth fell open in shock, her eyes wide as she watched Dean continue to thrust into her brother, until Cas relaxed in the human’s arms, his waning erection no longer leaking pearly white fluid onto the sheet. Dean pulled away slowly, grabbing a handful of kleenex and giving himself several quick strokes before releasing into the tissue. He let out a heavy breath, tossing the soiled tissue into the trash can.  
  
    Hannah stared at them a moment longer, both breathing heavily and slightly damp with sweat. She disappeared before they moved again.   
  
    Cas rolled over to face his husband and Dean leaned in to kiss him affectionately, chuckling slightly.   
  
    “Damn, that hit the spot,” he sighed, shaking his head. Cas was sleepily smiling up at him, and Dean slipped an arm underneath his head and urged him closer. Castiel rested his head on Dean’s chest, reaching down to pull the covers back over them. His eyelids were heavy, and he was absently stroking his belly.  
  
    “I think you put the baby to sleep...” he said thoughtfully. Dean chuckled again, leaning down to press a kiss to the Angel’s forehead.   
  
    “One down,” he said with humor in his tone. “one to go.”  
  
    Cas chuckled softly, making himself comfortable at Dean’s side. Moments later, he was asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Gabriel was hanging out in his underwear with his Jack Russell terrier and eating a hot fudge sundae when Hannah appeared before him, agitated and frowning. Gabriel’s brow furrowed and he stood from where he sat on the sofa, concern sparking within him at seeing his sister.   
  
    “Is Castiel alright?” even as he asked, he reached out with his senses to feel for his brother’s grace. Hannah shook her head.   
  
    “You were right, brother,” she spat. “The Righteous Man,” she gave a harsh laugh. “How could we have all been so deceived.”  
  
    “What did Dean do?” Gabriel asked dryly, smirking. He knew it was probably a matter of time before the hunter enraged his young sister’s tender sensibilities. Hannah shuddered, putting a hand to her stomach and frowning.  
  
    “We’ve placed our brother in the hands of a monster, Gabriel,” she told him. “Castiel...oh brother, what... what that human was _doing_ to him...”  
  
    Gabriel sighed, rolling his eyes and setting back down on the sofa.  
  
    “They’re married, Hannah,” he told her. “And human beings desire the delights of the flesh,” he grinned. “If Castiel wants to partaking in the physical activities-” his words died in his throat when Hannah exclaimed.   
  
    “He was saying ‘no’,” she blurted out. Gabriel’s mouth was hanging open in mid speech and he stared at her in disbelief.   
  
    “What?” he asked, tightly. Hannah took a deep breath, closing her eyes momentarily before continuing.   
  
    “He... he was saying ‘no’.” she repeated, and she couldn’t meet the archangel’s eyes as she spoke. “He said no, many times. And ... the human... he just kept...” she shivered a moment, shaking her head before finishing. “He didn’t stop. And Castiel was making these... horrible noises.”  
  
    “Okay,” Gabriel spoke, holding up his hands. He smiled at the other angel, even though inside he was fuming. “I will take care of this. Return to heaven, and I will call you when this has been resolved.” he put his hands on the young woman’s shoulders. “You’ve done well, Hannah,” he told her.   
  
    Hannah took a deep breath, nodding slightly before she took flight. The moment she was gone, Gabriel was scowling. He considered immediately taking wing and smiting Winchester before he had a chance to know what hit him, but he had a feeling he shouldn’t run in immediately. He owned it to Castiel to hear his side of the story... before ripping the lungs out of his husband.   
  
    Gabriel waited until his anger was no longer burning white hot (it was more of a simmering orange), when he took wing to the Winchester household. He concealed his presence, walking unnoticed through the living room where Sam and Jessica were reclined in front of the sofa watching a movie while she placed photos in a scrapbook. The condemned sat behind them on the sofa, playing peek-a-boo with Mary, who shrieked with laughter every time he pulled the blanket from over his head. Gabriel felt a stab of irritation and heartache. He really wanted this for Cas. Really wanted this beautiful life of love and family.   
  
    He moved instantaneously to the second floor. Castiel wasn’t in bed, which was rumpled with the sheet pushed down to the end, but he could hear the shower running in the bathroom. He paced the room as he waited, and soon the shower stopped. Fifteen minutes passed and the door to the bathroom opened and Castiel emerged, dressed comfortably in track pants and a thick cotton T-shirt. He smiled upon seeing his brother.   
  
    “Gabriel,” he greeted, walking in to the archangel’s outstretched arms. “I’m so happy you came to visit.”  
  
    When he pulled away, he noticed his normally jovial brother was less than amused.   
  
    “Is something wrong?” he asked, concerned. A sick feeling welled up in Castiel’s chest as he considered what could’ve possibly made the trickster appear so grave. “Is it Raphael,” he asked, desperately. “Are my children safe?”  
  
    “Yes, Cas,” Gabriel assured him, taking his brothers arm and making him sit on the end of the bed. “This isn’t about Raphael.” he said. “It’s about you.”  
  
    Castiel’s brow furrowed and a hand nervously settled over his stomach. Gabriel sighed.   
  
    “The baby is fine, Cassy,” he reiterated. “It’s... Hannah returned to your house earlier today and she... witnessed you and Dean...”  
  
    Castiel stared blankly at him a moment before the heat of a blush rose up the younger Angel’s neck.  
  
    “I see,” he said plainly. “And you are here because... because she doesn’t wish to return.”  
  
    Gabriel rubbed a hand over his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose before he replied.   
  
    “She told me something... well,” he shook his head. “A little unsettling. _A lot_ unsettling.”  
  
    Castiel’s brows pinched together, and his head tilted slowly.   
  
    “I...” he began hesitantly. “I... assumed you knew... that... that Dean and I engaged in sexual intercourse.”  
  
    Gabriel grimaced, sitting down at his brother’s side. He wasn’t sure how to phrase this so that the younger Angel would understand.   
  
    “She said you weren’t exactly... _amenable_... to Dean’s advances.”  
  
    The look on Castiel’s face was the most like amusement Gabriel had ever seen. His blush lightened, but spread across the apples of his cheeks.   
  
    “I am always amenable to Dean’s advances. I... I welcome them.”  
  
    Gabriel lay a supportive hand on his brother’s shoulder.   
  
    “Hannah said you told him to stop.”  
  
    Castiel’s amused expression turned to one of confused concern.   
  
    “That’s not true,” he insisted. “Why would she tell you that? ... Are you sure that’s what she said?”  
  
    Gabriel looked directly into his brother’s eyes, a serious expression on his face.   
  
    “You don’t have to protect him, Cas.”  
  
    Castiel’s blue eyes flashed white a moment and he stood.  
  
    “No, I don’t have to protect Dean,” he replied, roughly. “Because he’s done nothing wrong. Hannah misunderstood and, honestly, I have no idea how. I love Dean. I love being with Dean.”  
  
    “She said you told him no,” Gabriel explained, flatly. “You said no, and he didn’t listen.”  
  
    Castiel stared at him, stunned. Gabriel was beginning to wonder if this was some sort of role playing the Hannah walked in on and he _really_ didn’t need to know about that. There was a look of comprehension on the younger Angel’s face and his blush deepened once again.   
  
    “I..” he began softly. “I did say no,” Gabriel waited quietly for him to continued. “But, I wasn’t speaking to Dean... I was... speaking to myself... I...” he gave a huff of frustration, and scowled at his brother. Gabriel thought it was rather adorable. “My body is very sensitive lately,” Castiel explained with irritation. “It doesn’t take... as long for me to climax as it does for Dean. And... and I want it to be satisfactory for him.”  
  
    It was Gabriel’s turn to look confused and concerned as Castiel returned to sit by his side. He didn’t want to ask, but he had to. His little brother needed guidance.   
  
    “Does he not...” he made a explosion gesture with his hand, and Castiel blushed harder.   
  
    “Yes,” he answered, quietly. “But... it’s just not the same.” Cas shook his head, turning to his brother. “But, I assure you, Dean is a kind and gentle man. And he...” he shook his head, looking up at Gabriel with sadness in his eyes. “Is it so hard for you to believe that he loves me?”  
  
    “Ugh, Dad no!” Gabriel answered quickly. “I just worry about you Cas. You’re an Angel, he’s a human... and you’re my brother. I won’t ever think someone’s good enough for you.”  
  
    Castiel’s expression softened and he gave a small smile.   
  
    “I appreciate your concern brother,” he said. “But, since Dean and I embarked on this relationship together, he has never been anything but loving and kind. And he has always been considerate of me in our intimate life. Dean would never hurt me. He is sometimes... overly cautious.”  
  
    Gabriel sighed.   
  
    “I get it. He really melts your butter - I think I’ve heard enough.” he stood, giving his brother’s cheek a pat. “Well, I’ll settle Hannah,” he assured him. “You just... just keep making sure he takes care of you.”  
  
    “We take care of each other, Gabriel.” Castiel told him. “We’re in love. He’s my husband.”  
  
    Gabriel smiled, nodding. Maybe Dean Winchester was deserving of the Angel after all.  
  
    With assurance he would set things right with Hannah, Gabriel left Cas to be with his family. The Angel pulled on a thick pair of socks and somewhat waddled downstairs to join the rest of the family. Dean grinned at him, and Mary shrieked happily as if she hadn’t seen him in days. He settled down beside them and Mary bounced happily where Dean had her standing on the cushion and she threw herself at her Angel daddy. Cas gave a grunt of surprise, sweeping her up in his arms.   
  
    “Don’t hurt the baby, Mare,” Dean warned gently, reaching over and lightly rubbing Castiel’s belly. Sam chuckled, and Jessica grinned brightly at them. Castiel gave an amused shake of his head. Mary looked down at her father’s belly with interest and Dean leaned over to her. “You’re being usurped, kiddo,” he teased. The little girl grinned at him, not knowing what he said. Castiel shushed him.  
  
    “Don’t tell her that,” he chided. “Mary and the baby will be equally loved.”  
  
    “Oh, I know it.” Dean told him, kissing the baby’s cheek. He didn’t have to be told. He knew he’d love both his children just the same. “You’re still my baby, Mare. My baby.”  
  
    “I thought the Impala was your baby,” Sam teased, nudging Jessica. The blonde shook her head with a giggle. Castiel turned to Dean.   
  
    “I thought I was your baby?” he added, seriously. Dean gave a splutter of embarrassment before Sam, Jess, and Castiel all enjoyed some laughter at his expense. Dean was going to make a sarcastic retort when Mary giggled loudly and shouted.   
      
    “Bee-bee!”  
  
    The room became quiet and everyone looked at the child. She bounced happily in Castiel’s arms.   
  
    “Bee-bee!” she shouted again, throwing her arms around Castiel’s neck and hugging him. Dean smiled broadly at how cute his family way. His baby... and his baby. He leaned over, giving Cas a quick peck on the mouth before he murmured.  
  
    “Shut your fucking face, Sam.”  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Sam and Dean went away for the next four days to chase down a vengeful spirit haunting the old federal building in Clover City, Colorado. They probably could have made it in two days, but Dean insisted on driving instead of taking a plane. He was over that.   
  
    Both Winchesters were exhausted and a little cranky as they headed out to work on Friday, and Dean almost immediately fell asleep on the sofa waiting for dinner when they returned home.  Cas let him sleep through supper, waking him around seven and giving him a light meal, and they sat side by side on the sofa watching the evening news and entertaining Mary until it was time for her last bottle. Castiel sat quietly by Dean’s side reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban while Dean snuggled Mary against his chest and watched her drink herself to sleep.  
  
    “Hey,” he murmured to his husband, nudging the Angel’s thigh with his own. “I thought we were reading those together.”  
  
    “We were,” Castiel told him. “But then Sirius Black escaped wizard prison and you went away for four days.” Dean gave a smirk of amusement. “If it’s any consolation,” Castiel continued. “I’ve been reading very slowly.”  
  
    Dean chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as he looked down upon his drowsy baby. He could feel for her - he was pretty exhausted himself. When he was certain she was asleep, he gently pulled the bottle from her mouth, handing it to Castiel and turning Mary over his shoulder. He waited for Cas to rinse out the bottle and put it in the dishwasher before they turned off the lights and locked up, taking the stairs to the next floor. With a lot of experience to draw from, Dean expertly changed Mary out of her clothes, put on a new diaper and got her into her pajamas without disrupting her sleep. Once she was dressed for bed, Dean pulled her back into his arms and cuddled her a moment before laying her in the crib.   
  
    Castiel reached down and patted Mary’s back, before taking Dean’s hand and crossing to the bedroom with him. They got ready for bed in silence, moving comfortably around each other without getting in each other’s way. Dean collapsed onto the mattress first, pulling his pillow underneath his head and facing Castiel’s side of the bed. Cas was the one to turn off the lights before joining his husband. He ran a hand affectionately over Dean’s hair, and the hunter smiled, taking his hand and kissing Cas’s palm.  
  
    “Love you,” he murmured, keeping Castiel’s hand in his as he closed his eyes. Castiel leaned over, kissing the hunter’s forehead.   
  
    “I love you too,” he returned. “Goodnight, Dean.”  
  
    They both settled down to sleep, and were not still for more than ten minutes when Dean’s phone began to vibrate, grinding out the low tones of Smoke on the Water. Dean sighed, rolling over and picking it up.  
  
    “It’s Jimmy,” he said, his voice now alert when he answered the call. Cas sat up at his side. “Jimmy?” Dean spoke once the call connected. “Everything alright?”  
  
    Cas watched him, curiosity building as he waited for Dean to speak again.  
  
    “Everything’s going to be fine, brother,” Dean assured, rising from the bed and pulling his blue jeans back out of the hamper. “I’m on my way. You sit tight.”  
  
    “What is it?” Castiel asked, once Dean shut off the phone and pulled his pants on. “Is Jimmy okay?”  
  
    “Amelia went into labor,” Dean replied. “Jimmy is panicking just a bit since it’s early, but the books say it should be fine. I’m going to meet him at the hospital; be moral support. Could you go down and tell Jess and Sam?”  
  
    “Of course,” Cas agreed, getting back out of bed as Dean finished dressing. He walked with the hunter down to the first floor, kissing him by the door. “Drive safely. Give them my love. I’ll pray.”  
  
    “Thanks babe,” Dean replied, kissing him back. “I’ll call when there’s news.”  
  
    Castiel locked the door behind him, hearing the roar of the Impala’s engine as he walked down into the basement. Sam and Jess’s door was open, so Cas paused a few feet out of range to call to them.  
  
    “Sam? Are you awake?”  
  
    “Yeah Cas,” the younger Winchester called back. “Come on in.”  
  
    Jessica and Sam were both sitting on the bed, laptops open in front of them. Sam smiled at the him. He couldn’t get over how oddly adorable the pregnant Angel looked.   
      
    “What’s up?” he asked. “Did I hear Dean leave?”  
  
    “Jimmy Novak called,” Cas explained. “Amelia is in labor, so Dean went to be with them at the hospital.”  
  
    Sam moved his laptop aside, sitting up straighter.   
  
    “Did he want company?” he asked. Castiel shook his head.   
  
    “He didn’t say. “  
  
    Dean’s phone rang just as he was merging onto the highway, but he had it close at hand and answered quickly.   
  
    “Yeah?”  
  
    “Hey Dean, it’s Sam,” came the voice on the other end. “You need company at the hospital? Does Jimmy need anything?”  
  
    “I’m not there yet,” Dean replied. “I’ll call you once I get there. And hey Sam, if this takes a while, make sure Cas gets some sleep, hm?”  
  
    “Of course,” his brother replied. “Let me know what happens,”  
  
    Dean hung up the phone and drove the final couple miles in silence before turning in to the hospital parking lot. He stopped inside the gift shop to buy a small vase of flowers and a soft green teddy bear before heading up to the maternity ward. The nurse at the nurse’s station gave him the room number, and he knocked softly on the door with the name ‘Novak’ written in on the small dry erase plate next to the number.   
  
    Jimmy opened the door and Dean noticed that he looked anxious but happy and he greeted the hunter with a tight hug.   
  
    “Thank you so much for coming down,” he spoke. “My parents aren’t going to be here until Monday morning and my in-laws are coming the week after, so...”  
  
    “Don’t mention it, man,” Dean replied. “That’s what family’s for.”  
  
    Jimmy smiled, motioning him into the room. Claire was sitting on the bed next to Amelia, and the older woman looked weary but glowing. Dean leaned over the bed, kissing her cheek.  
  
    “How’s it going?” he asked.  
  
    “Quick,” Amelia said, a little unamused. “Thank you for the gifts.”  
  
    Dean grinned, setting the items on the side table. He reached out and tousled the young teen’s hair.   
  
    “Excited?” he asked. Claire nodded, a wide smile on her face.   
  
    “Did you bring Cas and Mary?” she asked.   
  
    “Sorry kid,” he replied. “Mary is out for the night and Cas is in bed for the night too. But, Cas sends his love, you know.”  
  
    “That’s sweet. I hope we didn’t disturb you,” Amelia replied. Dean shook his head.   
  
    “I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” he assured her. “I’m sorry your family isn’t here yet.”  
  
    Amelia chuckled slightly, giving a small smile.   
  
    “I am, actually,” she replied. “It will give us some time to get to know our new little guy before I won’t get to hold him for weeks.”  
  
    Dean chuckled as well, and the three adults fell into an easy conversation. Dean shifted uneasily every time Amelia would pause due to contractions, and within the hour she was no longer interested in engaging anyone. Jimmy sat at her side, using a cool cloth to blot at her forehead on occasion. A nurse came in just after eleven to ask if Amelia wanted an epidural, which she wholeheartedly agreed to.  
  
    When the birthing team took Amelia and Jimmy to the delivery room, Claire and Dean sat in the waiting room just outside playing connect four on his phone. After losing six games in a row, Dean pulled up his directory of photos and videos of Mary and let Claire watch them.  
  
    “Stick to that album only, okay?” he advised, and she smiled sagely and gave him a nod. Even though he trusted the girl for her word, he still watched with her, just in case. He didn’t need either of them to be scarred for life if she came across the pictures from his honeymoon. Or any of the other pictures he’d taken with Cas when they were alone. None of them were exactly explicit, but some were... less than G-rated.   
  
    It was just after two a.m. when Jimmy came out of the delivery room, wearing medical scrubs and a broad smile despite his redrimmed eyes. Dean stood and embraced him without a word, before letting him pull Claire into a hug as well.   
  
    “You have a little brother,” Jimmy murmured against the teen’s blonde hair. “And he’s beautiful.”  
  
    Dean took Claire back to the maternity room, and they waited for Jimmy and Amelia to return. Dean sent a quick text to Sam with the news. They didn’t have to wait long before the hospital aides brought Amelia’s bed back into the room, Jimmy following behind. Dean was surprised by how composed Amelia looked, just a little tired, but she lit up when the nurse pushed the bassinet into the room, containing one tiny, blue blanketed burrito baby.  
      
    Dean couldn’t help himself moving closer to the bed to see the littlest Novak. The baby was tiny, but beautiful. Since the baby’s eyes were closed, Dean couldn’t tell whose eyes he had, but he had Amelia’s straight, pointed nose and thin mouth. The slight dimple in his chin was definitely Jimmy. Dean was a little relieved to not see Cas in the baby’s little face. He wanted to see it in his own son.    
  
    After making sure everyone was fine and settled, and getting to hold the little baby himself for a few moments, Dean kissed Amelia and Claire, and Jimmy walked him to the hall.   
  
    “Thank you so much for coming.” Jimmy told him. “I’m sorry to ruin your sleep.”  
  
    “Ah, it’s overrated,” Dean told him, pulling the other man into a tight embrace. “I’m so happy for you brother,” he pressed a quick kiss to Jimmy’s temple before pulling away. “Now go hold your son.”  
  
    Jimmy grinned broadly, nodding, and gave a wave before returning to the room. Dean gave a nod to the nurses as he passed, and he recognized the flirty smiles he was getting in return. It was odd, he never thought about people being attracted to him anymore. His world was his family, and he was looking forward to retuning to his own bed tonight.  
  
    Sam was in the living room on his laptop when Dean returned home. Dean showed him the pictures on his phone of the baby, and Jimmy holding the baby, and one of Claire and her new brother.   
  
    “This is great,” Sam replied with a sigh. “What did they name him?”  
  
    Dean took a breath.  
  
    “Caden Christopher Novak,” he said.   
  
    “Nice,” Sam replied. “Where’d they get the name?”   
  
    Dean yawned, setting back on the couch as he removed his shoes.   
  
    “Christopher is Amelia’s older brother,” he began, running a hand over his neck as he continued. “And Caden is the most aesthetically pleasing combination of Castiel and Dean they could put together,” Sam’s eyes widened in surprise as his brother grumbled. “The crazies. I don’t know how many times I have to tell them it’s me that owes them, and not the other way around.” he shook his head. “Damn flattered, though,” He pushed himself from the sofa, leaning over to kiss Sam on the top of his head. “Goodnight, Sammy. Get some sleep.”  
  
    Sam nodded.   
  
    “You too.” he replied. “Soon, that’s going to be you and Cas with a newborn. You should get all the sleep you can.”  
  
    Dean grinned in spite of his exhaustion, giving a nod in parting before climbing the stairs to his room. Cas was sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed, holding Dean’s pillow to his chest. Dean’s smile softened, and he pulled his t-shirt and jeans off, tossing them into the hamper before sliding in to bed. Cas stirred slightly when Dean pulled his pillow out of the other man’s arms, but Dean shushed him quietly, moving close enough to wrap the Angel in his arms.   
  
    “Did the baby come?” Castiel mumbled, tucking his face down against Dean’s chest.   
  
    “Mmhm,” Dean responded. “He’s pretty cute. They named him after us... sort of.”  
  
    “That’s nice,” Cas replied. “I hope you’re not out of town when our baby comes...”  
  
    Dean knew it was just truthful comment, and not meant to make a judgment, but it wasn’t until Castiel said that that he realized he may not be home when the baby came. They didn’t have any way to pinpoint when the baby would arrive.  
      
    “It’ll be fine, babe, I promise,” Dean told him, pressing his lips against the top of Castiel’s hair. “Don’t worry,”  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Cas?” Dean spoke softly, pushing himself up onto his elbow. “You okay?”  
>  Castiel turned to him, but he was quiet a moment before speaking.  
>  “I’m fine,” the Angel admitted, but not convincingly. Dean licked his dry lips, narrowing his tired eyes.  
>  “BS, Cas,” he spoke groggily. “You feelin’ okay? What’s on your mind?”  
>  Castiel sighed, looking back down at his rounded stomach before he spoke in almost a whisper.  
>  “I’m feeling.... regret.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very tired while posting this, so I hope it's okay. I hope you all enjoy this. I'll try to update again soon. I hope this is still entertaining to some of you all. Thanks for reading!

    Amelia and little Caden were released from the hospital on Sunday, and the Winchesters went to see them before they had a houseful of visitor’s from out of town. Sam was enamored with the tiny baby, holding him expertly in his arms while Jessica sat at his side, a wide, affectionate smile on her face. The highlight of the visit was Mary softly cooing “be-be” whenever she would look at the newborn.   
  
    On Monday, Dean spent the majority of his day dreading the conversation he knew he needed to have with his boss. He tried to focus on his work, but his stomach was twisted in a knot and he felt that the office was a little warmer than usual - at least according to the sweat pooling between his shoulder blades and at the back of his neck. But he was determined to get this over with today; Cas’s peace of mind was worth his momentary discomfort. So Dean waited until after lunch before walking across the building to the Director’s office, nervously clearing his throat as he approached the secretary.  
  
    “Hi Dean,” she greeted brightly, looking up from her computer. “What can I do for you today?”   
  
    Dean gave an unsteady smile, rubbing his hands together.   
  
    “Hey Marie. Is Director Dreskal in?” he asked. Marie smiled at him, giving a nod.   
  
    “Yes. You can go right in.”  
  
    “Thank you,” Dean could hear her announcing him over the intercom as he approached the office. The door was open, and Dean peered inside.   
  
    “Dean!” Dreskal greeted, rising from behind his desk. “Come on in, come in. It’s good to see you.” he looked upon the hunter with a prideful smile. “I see you’ve been busy lately. The number of closed cases I’ve seen across my desk in the last ten months is just astounding. Good work.”  
  
    “Thank you, sir,” Dean replied, taking the seat that the director motioned to. “I’m glad I’ve been of use to the Bureau.”  
  
    “Please,” Dreskal scoffed. “You’re a god-send. I’m beginning to think literally.” he laughed at his own joke, and Dean gave a polite smile. “So, what’s on your mind? Everything going well, I hope.”  
  
    Dean took a deep breath, nodding.  
  
    “Uh yeah, things are great.” he answered, rubbing his hands across his pantlegs to dry his sweaty palms. “I uh, um... First, sir, I would really like to thank you for this opportunity.” he began again. “I.. I don’t know how I would have been able to take care of my family if it wasn’t for your kindness and for giving me a chance.”  
  
    Dreskal’s brow furrowed as Dean spoke. He waited until Dean paused before moving to shut the door to his office. When he returned from the door, Dreskal took the seat beside Dean.  
  
    “You’re a new father Dean, but let me tell you this,” Dreskal said seriously. “You saved my children’s lives. I will never be able to thank you enough. And as for the job, you were made for this. You’re doing great, and that is _all_ you.”  
  
    Dean hung his head, closing his eyes as the compliment warmed his skin.   
  
    “Thank you,” Dean said again. “But, the reason that I came in was.. um.. well,” he cleared his throat, shifting in his seat, trying to remain cool. “You know my husband is not human, and... and you know that Mary is our biological child.” Dreskal nodded. “Well sir,” Dean continued, pulling together all his nerve. “My husband... Cas... Cas is expecting our second child sometime next month,” Dreskal’s eyes grew wide, so Dean spoke quickly. “And I know I really shouldn’t ask this, but there is actually no way for us to estimate the delivery date, and I’d _really_ rather not be out of town when my baby comes. If you can’t accommodate this, I’ll understand, I’m just really grateful for this job and I shouldn’t be asking-”  
  
    “Dean,” Dreskal broke in, his voice stern. “How come you haven’t told me this earlier?” Dean looked up, ashamed and uneasy. Dreskal looked irritated and he gave a disgruntled sigh. “My wife would have loved to give you and Castiel a baby shower.” he grumbled.   
  
    Dean let out a surprised huff of laughter.   
  
    “That’s not necessary,” he insisted. Dreskal waved a hand.   
  
    “Dean, as a new parent, you are allowed time for family leave.” Dean’s expression was stunned. Dreskal continued. “And if we need to keep you local for the next few weeks, I’m sure that can be arranged.”  
  
    It seemed to good to be true. Dean frowned, disappointment weighing on him as he spoke his concern.  
  
    “We don’t have any cases in the local area right now,” he said. Dreskal shrugged.   
  
    “I didn’t bring you on just to be a hired hunter, Dean,” he told him. “You are a federal agent, son. You and your brother were at the top of your class in the academy. If we have to put you on a regular detail for a bit, we can do that. I just hope it’s not too boring.” he gave a small laugh. “The regular work is mostly wire fraud, money laundering, illegal gambling...that sort.”  
  
    Dean was quiet a moment, starring at the man across from him as if he was one of things Dean might hunt.   
  
    “Are you... serious?” Dean asked. Dreskal shook his head at Dean’s disbelief, rising from his chair and crossing to the door. He called out to his secretary.   
  
    “Marie, could you bring me in a set a of paperwork for family leave?” he asked.   
  
    Dean heard her respond in the positive, and in a few moments he was filling out the requests. Dreskal spoke to him.   
  
    “You just keep me advised of the progress, okay? Let me know if you need anything.” He smiled, giving Dean a fatherly clap on the shoulder. “You give Cas our love. And kiss that baby for me.”  
  
    Dean smiled, agreeing automatically as he left, still a little shell-shocked. He was in a great mood by the time he and Sam were in the Impala heading home. He was excited to tell Cas that, not only would he not have to go back out of town until the baby came, but he would get to spend the first few weeks at home so he could help take care of both the new baby and Mary. The look of relief on the Angel’s face more than made up for any anxiety Dean had about asking for, what he feared would be construed as, a special favor.   
  
    Just before the fourth of July, Bobby and Mary came down from South Dakota for the holiday and to celebrate little Mary’s first birthday. The Winchester household was decorated in streamers and balloons almost as soon as the sun was up. She was already standing in her crib waiting for Castiel when he came to get her for breakfast.  
  
    “Dada!” she exclaimed, bouncing in place as she held on to the rail for support. Cas smiled at the child, lifting her into his arms and kissing her face.   
  
    “Good morning, beloved.” he murmured against her ear, taking her to the changing table to change her diaper. She kicked happily, babbling as she looked up at him. Cas picked up the naked baby and carried her across the hall. “I have something for you, Dean,” he announced.   
  
    “Sweet,” Dean chuckled. “gimme a sec to set the water temperature.” When the shower was no longer steaming, Dean took his daughter from Cas’s hands and she squealed in delight as he soaped her up and sang Beatles tunes as they rinsed. Castiel leaned against the wall, his eyes closed and a smile on his face as he listened to Dean sing. The hunter often pretended that he couldn’t carry a tune, singing obnoxiously loud and off key in the car, but when he was with his child, his vocal talents were spot on - and Castiel loved to listen to him.   
  
    Dean stepped out of the shower before he had a need for another, handing the baby over to Castiel’s outstretched towel. He grabbed the second towel, wrapping it around his waist and leaning in to kiss his husband.   
  
    “Morning,” he greeted with a grin.   
  
    “Good morning, Dean,” Cas replied, wrapping Mary securely and holding her against him. “Can you believe that it was a whole year ago today that we were so blessed.” Dean shook his head, looking at the baby who rested her head against Castiel’s shoulder.   
  
    “It seems like only yesterday,” he admitted, “And yet more than a year.” he leaned in to kiss the baby, turning to kiss Castiel again. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said.   
       
    Castiel smiled, shaking his head as he returned to the nursery.    
  
    Dean hummed to himself as dressed, meeting Cas in the hall and pulling his daughter into his arms. There was a buoyant joy inside of him, and he followed Cas into the kitchen where the rest of the family was waiting. Sam volunteered to feed the baby while Bobby entertained everyone with a dramatic, and humorous, retelling of the night Mary was born. Dean was blushing warmly, but laughing with everyone as Bobby spoke, telling the group how he first simply turned the sound up on the television when the first thump could be heard from upstairs.   
  
    “I mean, who I am to judge, right?” Bobby asked Jessica, who was giggling uncontrollably from behind her hands. “But it wasn’t a few minutes later and Cas here was calling down for Sam.”  
  
    Dean shook his head, putting a hand on Castiel’s back as they listened to Bobby’s story. He ended it with describing the look on Dean’s face when he held his daughter for the first time. The levity in the room decreased slightly, and a warm happiness settled in it’s wake.   
  
    “You could see the change in ‘im,” Bobby said, turning to look at Dean. “It was the first time in a long time that I knew he’d be alright... You done good, boy.”  
  
    Dean’s jaw tightened, but he nodded in reply. Castiel looked from Dean to Bobby.  
  
    “I helped,” he stated.   
  
    Laughter erupted in the kitchen once again, doubling when the baby shrieked happily along with them. After breakfast, Dean and Cas dressed the baby in a frilly, blue dress that really brought out the color of her eyes, and Dean brushed her honey blonde hair into two pigtails on the sides of her head, adding little bows. Sam, Dean, and Mrs Winchester took the baby to get her first year birthday photos taken, while Jess, Bobby, and Cas worked on things at the house for the party that afternoon.   
  
    Just after twelve, their guests began to arrive and the party officially started. The Novaks, including Jimmy’s mother and father, came by the celebrate as well. True to his word, Mr. Novak seemed to have mellowed out a bit, and was treating Castiel as if he were his own child - not even flinching at the Angel’s obviously expectant state. Mrs Novak brought several gifts for Mary, and for the new baby as well. She mentioned how lucky she was to have two new grandsons in one month, and it made Dean smile.   
  
    The day got even more interesting when Castiel’s true side of the family showed up. Balthazar, Hannah, and Gabriel were pleasant enough, but there was noticeable tension - especially when Balthazar started mixing drinks. But, the Angels obviously adored Mary and Castiel, so all-in-all, it wasn’t the worst family gathering.   
  
    After such a day of excitement, Mary fell asleep early, even before Dean had a chance to give her her final bottle. So instead of putting her in her crib that evening, certain she would wake up in the middle of the night to eat, Dean lay her down between him and Cas. They spent several long minutes just staring at how beautiful she was, her tiny, perfect mouth and chubby, pink cheeks.   
  
    “Man, she’s perfect,” Dean sighed, absently brushing the blonde curls from her forehead.   
  
    “In that she quite resembles you, I agree,” Castiel said, watching Dean. The hunter made a huff of embarrassment, but smiled slightly at the compliment, reaching out to rub Cas’s thigh. The smile on Dean’s face made Castiel smile. “Oh,” the Angel commented, adjusting the pillows behind his head in an attempt to get more comfortable. Dean helped him settled the pillows at his back. “I got an email from Lisa this afternoon.” Dean’s eyebrows raised in interest. A couple months ago he had received a text from Lisa asking him how his new job was going, and sending her regards to Castiel. Cas had insisted on sending her a response on his own, and it had started the most unlikely electronic friendship.   
  
    “Oh yeah?” Dean asked, self-consciously rubbing the back of his neck. “What did she say?”  
  
    “She wished Mary a happy birthday,” Cas replied, resting his hands over his stomach. “Asked if we received the gift she sent. She asked me how my gestation was progressing, and she asked after the health and wellbeing of you and your brother.” Dean gave a small smile. Lisa had always been a nice girl. “She mentioned that her sister arranged her a date with a man who is visually impaired, but that was apparently an unpleasant experience.”  
  
    Dean grimaced, thinking about that statement for just a moment.  
  
    “A blind date?”  he asked. Castiel nodded. Dean grinned. “I see. Go on.”  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath.  
  
    “Yes, apparently he made several comments on her greater than normal flexibility due to her yoga practice. I believe she meant he was alluding to her potential sexual prowess, but she did not elaborate.” Dean grimaced. It was moments like these that he wasn’t sure if this Castiel/Lisa friendship was a great idea. There was too much potential for embarrassing conversations. He did trust them not to discuss him, not at length anyway. Castiel continued. “She wanted me to tell you that Ben was selected to join a local children’s competitive baseball team.”  
  
    “That’s awesome,” Dean commented. “Tell them both I said congrats.” Castiel look over a Dean, watching him contemplatively. Dean raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked.  
  
    “What if our son doesn’t like sports?” the Angel asked. “What if he would rather... play music or... or whatever else human children do?”  
  
    Dean’s brow furrowed and he grimaced.   
  
    “What do you mean?”  
  
    Castiel was quiet a moment.  
  
    “Will you be disappointed?”  
  
    “Fuck no,” Dean replied, grimacing. “I want our kids to do their own thing and be who they are... whatever makes them happy...” he sighed. “I didn’t get the chance to do the things I wanted to growing up. I mean, I get that we had to learn to hunt for our own protection, but sometimes... I wished my dad would have just let Sam and I have a bit of something normal. Even if it was something stupid like... like collecting comic books or getting to waste a few quarters at an arcade.” he sighed again, rubbing a hand over his forehead. Castiel’s expression was sad.   
  
    “Didn’t your father let you do anything at all that children would enjoy?” he asked. Dean gave an awkward shrug, rolling onto his back. He stayed like that a moment, contemplating the question.   
  
    “He gave us small toys here and there when we were kids,” Dean told him, frowning at the ceiling. “I think they were probably things he picked up as extras with fast food meals... little action figures and lego kits... sometimes we kept the crayons from sit down places and we’d color on the hotel stationary. Once he rented a room with a VCR and he got us a movie...” Castiel watched his husband, a pained expression on his face. His heart ached for the child Dean once was. He longed to protect the innocent child, conflicted because that life shaped the man at his side. Dean continued, a smile finally turning his lips. “When we got older, when I was around nine, dad took us a couple times to see live wrestling matches.” he gave a small laugh, shaking his head and looking to Cas. The memories were bittersweet, but he tried to hold on to the positive. “That felt pretty close to normal sometimes.” he gave another laugh, and Castiel smiled in support of his good mood, even though he didn’t share it. “Sam had this pull out poster of the female promoter - he snatched it from a magazine in one of the urgent care places dad was getting stitched up in. For months he would put that thing up above our bed in hotels, taking it down when we would leave....then we had to skip town in a hurry... lost most of our stuff...” he shrugged again, shaking his head as if it were inconsequential. “Learned not to get too attached to ‘stuff’ after that.” Dean turned to look at Cas, and could see the sadness in the Angel’s eyes. He reached over touched  Castiel’s cheek. “Point of the story is, my dad was raised normal so he took that stuff for granted. Our kids are going to do the things they want to do. We’ll encourage them to try new things, but let them pick what makes them happy.”  
  
    Castiel’s smile became genuine, and he leaned gently to kiss Dean’s lips.   
  
    “You are truly the most beautiful of all my father’s creations,” he whispered. Dean felt a happy flutter in his stomach as he looked up at the Angel.   
  
     “Yeah... I’m pretty sure that’s you...I love you so much, Cas,” Dean murmured, stroking his thumb along Cas’s cheekbone. “I don’t even want to think about how life would be if we hadn't...”  
  
    “I know what you mean,” Castiel replied. “You’ve made me so happy, Dean...”  
  
    Dean pushed himself up on his arm, leaning over the baby so he could kiss his husband. Mary stirred when he settled back, and she popped up tiredly looking from one man to the other. She babbled at them seriously, as if they could understand. Dean smiled, reaching out to touch her face.   
  
    “Lay down, precious,” he told her. “It’s night-night,”  
  
    “Why do we repeat things to her?” Castiel said in a pensive tone. “Night-night, bye-bye... it’s interesting.”  
  
    “It’s just baby-talk.” Dean shrugged as Mary lay herself against his chest and fell back to sleep. Castiel sighed.   
  
    “We should probably talk to her like an adult,” he replied. “For her intellectual growth.”  
  
    “You’re probably right,” Dean said, watching his daughter. She was so beautiful it ached. He reached out for Castiel, touching his face again. “Come here,” he murmured, and Cas leaned in for another kiss before settling back to go to sleep, his hand threaded with Dean’s. In the dim silence of the room, the three Winchesters lay down to sleep.  
  
    Castiel had felt tired until he closed his eyes. His brain didn’t seem to want to turn off, imagining Dean and Sam’s youthful hardships. As much as Castiel didn’t like John Winchester, from the stories Dean told of his earliest memories, the man didn’t set out to be the world’s worst father. Tragedy, bad decisions, and poor coping skills set Dean’s father on a path that didn’t just impact himself, but his children.   
  
    It was scary to think that someone could look upon their innocent, precious baby and not fight to do what they could to protect them. Of course, John thought he was making the right choices...  
  
    Castiel sighed, looking to the man and the baby beside himself. He wanted nothing more than to see them happy. He had always wanted nothing more than to see Dean happy. But that didn’t always lead to him making the best decisions either.    
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean slept a blissful four hours before something woke him. He blinked his eyes in the darkness, quickly adjusting to the glow of the moonlight. Mary was still sleeping soundly beside him, her pouty lips parted and her back rising and falling with each breath. However,Castiel was awake, sitting up and staring out the window. From what little Dean could see of the Angel’s face, Castiel had a pensive expression as he gently stroked his swollen belly.   
  
    “Cas?” Dean spoke softly, pushing himself up onto his elbow. “You okay?”  
  
    Castiel turned to him, but he was quiet a moment before speaking.   
  
    “I’m fine,” the Angel admitted, but not convincingly. Dean licked his dry lips, narrowing his tired eyes.   
  
    “BS, Cas,” he spoke groggily. “You feelin’ okay? What’s on your mind?”  
  
    Castiel sighed, looking back down at his rounded stomach before he spoke in almost a whisper.   
  
    “I’m feeling.... regret.”  
  
    Dean suddenly felt wide awake, and he sat up, a concerned expression on his face. Castiel raised a hand, gently touching the hunter’s cheek.  
  
    “Not regret about us, Dean, or about our family,” he said, much to Dean’s relief. “Never that. I have no regrets about us.” Dean pushed himself up against the headboard, careful not to disturb his sleeping daughter.   
  
    “Then what?” he asked, reaching out and running a hand through the Angel’s hair. From the reflection of the moonlight, he could see Cas’s eyes were wet. Dean’s voice was gentle when he spoke. “What, babe?”  
  
    Castiel took a deep breath, turning his eyes to the ceiling. He had both hands over his abdomen now, as if shielding the baby from what he was about to say.  
  
    “Being able to feel our child’s life inside of me,” he began quietly. “Has been a uniquely surreal experience.” a small smile turned his lips, and Dean watched him without comment. “This process... it has been the greatest of gifts... most miraculous of miracles...”  
  
    “Then what do you regret, babe?” Dean asked him, a little confused and a lot concerned. Castiel sighed.   
  
    “Before... before you and I,” he began hesitantly, and Dean understood that “before you and I” translated to before they began their relationship and not before they met. “That deal I was in process of making with Crowley-”  
  
    “Ugh,” Dean groaned, rolling his eyes. “Don’t say that name. He’ll turn up like Beetlejuice.”  
  
    Castiel made an expression of confusion, but it faded quickly as he continued.  
  
    “The deal I was making, it would have allowed me to ingest all the souls in purgatory into my vessel and draw on that strength to defeat Raphael.” he sighed again, looking down at his rounded stomach. “When I think about how pure and beautiful and special _this_ is, and how I was so willing to let something so destructive share space in my vessel...” he shuddered, closing his eyes. “The souls of monsters, the essence of evil.”  
  
    “Hey,” Dean said, moving as close as he could without bothering the baby and reaching out to run an hand over Cas’s hair. “We fixed that. You don’t have to worry about the ‘what ifs’. We took care of things.” he smiled at the Angel, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead. Dean didn’t want Cas thinking about that deal, especially since Cas didn’t know how bad it could have been. Dean still had occasional nightmares due to those visions Amariel showed him. They chilled him to the bone.   
  
    “I could have ruined this,” Castiel said, looking reproachful. “I could have ruined everything.”  
  
    “But you didn’t,” Dean reiterated. “You did the right thing and we worked through it together, just like we always do. Just like we always will. Not just the big things, even the little stupid ones like...” he paused as he cast about for a trivial thing that people may bicker over. He grinned. “like where we’ll go on vacation and... and why the hell don’t we have a TV in here?”  
  
    Castiel reluctantly returned Dean’s smile, but he answered the question.   
  
    “I’ve read that studies show having a television in the bedroom can interrupt sleep patterns and decrease intimacy. You need your sleep, Dean. And I’m currently quite pleased with our level of intimacy.”  
  
    Dean’s grin widened.   
  
    “Well, I’m happy to hear you say that,” he said, giving a wag of his eye brows. “But I think you are underestimating the intimacy of snuggling in bed watching Star Wars after a really _awesome_ fuck.”  
  
    Castiel chuckled, letting Dean press another firm kiss to his temple.   
  
    “I do like snuggling...” Cas admitted.   
  
    “Yeah,” Dean agreed, feeling he was blushing slightly. “me too.” he leaned in to nuzzle the Angel’s throat, feeling Castiel sigh contentedly. “So stop thinking about the bad things that could have been.” he reached down, gently stroking Cas’s belly. “This little guy has a great dad. Our little girl had a great dad. You and I have done a lot of stupid things, baby, so we can’t afford to beat ourselves up over the dumb things we _almost_ did.”  
  
    Castiel sighed heavily, squeezing his eyes closed. He hesitated a moment before he spoke again.   
  
    “I’m just so.... _scared_ that I’m not going to do this right.”  
  
    Dean ran a hand over his mouth, trying his best to think of the right words to calm the Angel’s fears. Carefully, he reached down and pulled his daughter into his arms, tucking her securely in the crook of his elbow. Mary didn’t wake, making a tiny mewling sound as she curled into Dean’s chest. Dean scooted closer to Castiel, nudging his arm.   
  
    “Look at this,” he said, making the Angel turn his way. Deans smiled. “Look how pretty our baby is. How perfect.” Castiel smiled softly as he looked at his little girl. Dean gently brushed a fingertip down Mary’s freckled nose. “When she first arrived in our life, you didn’t even know how to hold her. But now, you’re an expert. You make her laugh, and you rock her to sleep at night, and you worry that I’m making her eat solid foods too early, sleep in her own bed, and sit in a high chair... and that I’m stunting her intellectual growth with baby talk.”  
  
    Castiel gave a small laugh, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean reached down to pat Cas’s leg.   
  
    “You are already doing this right, babe, and...” he cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”  
  
    Castiel squeezed his eyes closed a moment, enjoying the sentiment and the warm scent of Dean’s skin. He was quiet for too long that Dean was beginning to worry. Just when Dean was about to speak, Castiel asked a question.  
  
    “If we have sex before the movie, do you mind if I fall asleep after?”  
  
    Dean pressed his lips closed, his shoulders shaking as he tried to suppress his laughter and not disturb the baby. Castiel lifted his head and smiled at Dean.   
  
    “If we have sex during the movie, we’ll save some time...” the Angel mused. “I’ll miss reading.”  
  
    “You’re killing me, Cas,” Dean laughed, leaning over to kiss his husband’s mouth. “But you can _not_ fall asleep when we turn on Star Wars! But sex _during_ Star Wars...”  
  
    Castiel chuckled as he and Dean settled back down on the mattress, Dean gently laying Mary back down between them.   
  
     “I love you so much, Dean Winchester,” Castiel whispered to the hunter in the dark. “I...” he sighed. “I’m sorry that-”  
  
    “You’re sorry that you won’t let me have a TV in the bedroom and have freaky sci-fi sex to one of the most epic movies of all time?” Dean asked, cutting him off. He grinned at Cas’s frown. “Forgiven.”  
  
    Cas rolled his eyes, pressing his forehead to his husband’s shoulder. They lay in the darkness together, Mary’s soft breathing the loudest thing in the quiet room. Dean felt Cas search for his hand, and he threaded their fingers together again. Castiel lifted Dean’s hands to his lips and kissed it.   
  
    “We’re not getting a TV in the bedroom,” he whispered, causing Dean to laugh. Dean sighed contentedly as Cas placed the hunter’s hand over his belly.   
  
    “So next week we start the Goblet of Fire?” Dean asked.   
  
    “Sounds good,” Cas agreed.   
  
    “You know,” Dean said. “They made movies of those books...”  
  
    “No, Dean,” Castiel replied, but Dean could hear the smile in it.   
  
    “Killjoy,” he grumbled unconvincingly.   
  
    Dean pulled Mary up onto his chest and stretched out his arm to urge Cas closer. He could understand Cas’s worry that he was going to mess something up or being hyper aware of all the mistakes he made or almost made in the past. Parenthood was scary,  but it was also so fucking amazing he was going to cherish every second of it. Same with marriage: scary, thrilling, amazing... a gift.   
  
    “I love you, Castiel Winchester,” he whispered against the Angel’s forehead. He received a soft snore in reply that put a smile on his face. “Sleep well, buddy.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
    In the following weeks, Mrs. Winchester stayed with her sons and their spouses while everyone was on high alert for Castiel’s impending ‘separation’, as he called it. She got along quiet well with Hannah, and she taught the angel how to make cookies and shared her own hunting stories in the time they got to spend together.   
  
    About two weeks after little Mary’s birthday, Castiel started to feel incredibly uncomfortable by the concentration of grace in his abdomen, and he often had a grimace on his face, trying to find a comfortable position in which to sit, stand, or lay. Dean spent all of his free time at Castiel’s side, generally rubbing his back or letting Cas lean against him so he could catch a nap.   
  
    The second week of August, Dean and Castiel finished laundering all of the new baby clothes and some of Mary’s older things they were planning to reuse. Dean set the cradle back up in their room, and he smiled whenever he saw it, knowing that soon it would be where their son slept. But August came and went, and Castiel seemed to have a permanently disgruntled look, although he was in general good spirits. Dean had requested his family leave the last week of the month, wanting to be at Cas’s side at a moment’s notice.   
  
    It was not yet past dawn on the 8th of September when Dean was pulled from his sleep by movement in the bed. Castiel was struggling to set up, and he turned on the lamp beside the bed when he got his feet on the floor.  
  
    “You alright babe?” Dean asked, rubbing his eyes as he watched Castiel sitting on the side of the bed. The Angel was a moment in responding.  
  
    “I... I’m having pain...”  
  
    Dean was wide awake. He jumped out of bed and crossed around to kneel in front of his husband.   
  
    “Where? Where does it hurt?” he asked, trying to remain calm. Castiel was pressing a hand to the side of his swollen abdomen, breathing steadily.  
  
    “I think...” Castiel responded, his face a mixture of apprehension and excitement. “That this is it...”  
  
    Dean felt his mouth go dry, and he nodded numbly. If he remembered correctly from his experience, it would take about four hours from the onset of the pain before the baby would arrive.   
  
    “When did the pain start?” he asked, running a hand soothingly over the Angel’s thigh. Cas’s brow furrowed.   
  
    “I think just now,” he replied. “It’s what woke me.”  
  
    “Okay,” Dean nodded. “I’m going to go tell Hannah. I’ll be right back, okay?”  
  
    He stood, kissing his husband’s forehead when he did. He walked to the door, but once in the hallway, he moved quickly downstairs. Hannah had taken to reading or watching TV in the middle of the night, now that Gabriel told her not to be invisible anymore. She looked up, surprised to see Dean, and she closed the book she had been reading.   
  
    “Is Castiel alright?” she asked. Dean nodded, but appeared nervous.   
  
    “He say’s he’s started to feel pain. I... I think the baby’s coming...”  
  
    Hannah nodded, rising from the sofa. She placed a hand supportively on Dean’s arm when she stopped beside him.   
  
    “Gabriel instructed me to keep an eye on him during this time, and to call him if there was any complication or concern.”  
  
    “Yeah, okay,” Dean agreed, and he let Hannah follow him back upstairs. Castiel was still setting on the side of the bed, bent slightly double and with his eyes closed. Hannah kneeled before him.   
  
    “Are you alright, brother?” she asked gently. Castiel nodded, but his expression contradicted the action. Hannah settled at his side, and Dean took the other, watching Castiel as he stared at a spot on the floor.   
  
    They sat with him until five a.m., when Dean suggested a cool bath to help the Angel feel better. Castiel didn’t look amused, and grumbled something about being a former commander in heaven, but he agreed. Dean ran the bath, and Castiel submitted to Dean’s attention as the hunter gently washed him, hoping the cool water would help ease some of his discomfort. Afterward, Dean helped him dry off and dress back into loose, comfortable clothes and get him back in bed. Castiel’s pain didn’t seem to be too intense, so Dean urged him to try and get a bit more sleep.   
  
    “I’m going to make some coffee,” he told Hannah. “See if you can get him to lie down for a bit.”  
  
    “Very well,” she agreed, and Dean left the room to head to the kitchen.   
  
    Cas didn’t seem any worse off when the sun began to rise, and when Mrs Winchester woke, she was concerned to see Dean and Hannah standing vigil over her son-in-law.   
  
    “Is everything okay?” she whispered from the doorway. Dean got up from where he sat on the side of the bed and joined her in the hall.   
  
    “Cas started having pains early this morning,” he told her, wrapping his arms around himself and looking back at where his husband lay on the bed, his sister beside him. “We’re just waiting to see if it get’s any worse.”   
  
    “Is there anything I can do?” she asked, concerned. Dean shook his head.   
  
    “No. Unless you’d like to feed and dress Mary when she wakes, that’d be really helpful.”   
  
    Mary nodded.  
  
    “Of course.” she agreed. “But, have you eaten anything yet?” she asked. “Has Cas?”   
  
    Dean shrugged, sighing.   
      
    “He say’s he’s not hungry,” he told her. Mary looked past her son to where the Angel lay on the bed on his side, his eyes squeezed closed but it was obvious he wasn’t sleeping.   
  
    “I’ll make him something,” she replied. “He’ll need his strength.”  
      
    Dean wasn’t so sure Castiel would eat, but he didn’t dispute the need for sustenance and he returned to Cas’s side. Castiel was making small groaning sounds on each exhale, and Dean took his hand.   
  
    “Baby, you alright?” Dean asked softly, looking down on the Angel with concern. Cas nodded, shifting uncomfortably where he lay on his side.   
  
    “I’m fine Dean,” he insisted. “This is actually not as bad as I feared it would be.”  
  
    Dean had to agreed. He was screaming and swearing by this time himself. To make himself useful, he sat behind Cas and rubbed the tightness out of his muscles, but he felt helpless to assist in any other way.   
  
    Mrs. Winchester brought up tea and toast, and Castiel did eat a little to make her happy, but he preferred to lay groaning in discomfort to all other things that was suggested to him. Sam and Jess stopped in after they woke, and Jessica took the Angel’s blood pressure and heart rate, and rubbed his arm to try and soothe him. It was after seven by this time, and Dean was becoming worried.   
  
    “Hannah,” he spoke, pulling the angel aside. “Can you call Gabriel? I’d really like for him to see if Cas is okay.”  
  
    Hannah didn’t contradict him, but closed her eyes and summoned her brother to them. Gabriel didn’t waste time.   
  
    “Hey,” He spoke calmly, addressing Castiel before anyone. “How’re you doing, Cassy?”  
  
    “I’m... fine, ... brother,” Castiel force out, his expression pinched with pain. Gabriel smiled at him, resting a hand softly on the younger Angel’s stomach. He could feel the pressure of the grace on the other side, building, condensing, working hard to create a physical form and separate itself from the warmth and the serenity that was Castiel’s grace. And he could tell that this child was healthy and strong, and there was no reason for concern.   
  
    “Can you,” Dean began quietly, leaning in next to Gabriel. “Can you make it less painful for him?” he asked.   
  
    Gabriel stood from where he was setting beside his brother.   
  
    “If I try to intercede my grace into this, his body will only fight to protect itself and the baby, and that will ultimately cause him more pain.”  
  
    “Oh, Dean,” all eyes in the room were drawn to Cas at his words. “I’m so sorry... I did that to you...”  
  
    “Oh baby,” Dean said with a soft laugh, “It’s okay, we didn’t know. It’s okay,” he smoothed the slightly damp curls off of the Angel’s forehead. “I barely remember the pain.”  
  
    Castiel gave him an incredulous look, but Dean leaned down and his kiss cheek.   
  
    And they waited.   
  
    Just after nine, Dean called Dr. Stewart and Jimmy, and soon both were added to the host of people waiting in the Winchester’s living room. The doctor got on with Gabriel better than Dean expected, so he felt comfortable leaving them all downstairs to mingle while he sat at Castiel’s side and waited.  
  
    By ten o clock, Castiel was doing nothing but moaning in discomfort, holding a hand to his stomach.   
  
    “Dean!” he exclaimed, reaching out for the hunter in alarm.  
  
    “Gabriel!” Dean called out, taking Castiel’s hands in his. “You’re alright baby,” he spoke, trying to remain as calm as possible. “I know it hurts. But you’re going to be fine.” he didn’t hear the archangel come to his side, but Gabriel was kneeling beside the bed as well. Dean wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen next; he was excited and scared and his heart was racing like mad, but it was killing him to see his Angel in pain.    
  
    Jimmy and Sam stood at the end of the stairs, looking up to the second floor. Jimmy turned to the younger Winchester.  
  
    “Do you think he’s going to be okay?” he asked, as they could hear Castiel’s agonized groans of discomfort. Sam shook his head.   
  
    “I’m sure he is. Gabriel will make sure he’s taken care of.”  
  
    There was a tense several minutes where everyone in the living room was on high alert. Little Mary started to cry when Castiel’s shout of pain rent the quiet living room. But, the sound was followed shortly by silence. Sam was holding his breath, his ears straining again the deafening quiet.   
  
    The silence was finally broken by the mewling cry of a newborn. Sam didn’t wait for an invitation; he rushed up the stairs to his brother’s bedroom. Dean was standing beside the bed, a towel in his arms. Sam grinned broadly at him.   
  
    “How’s Cas?” he asked, turning to where the archangel was gently trying to rouse his little brother back to consciousness.   
  
    “He passed out,” Dean explained, his voice thick with barely suppressed emotion. “Look Sammy...”  
  
    Sam walked over to his brother’s side, looking down into the bundle in Dean’s arms. The child was beautiful. He had the same peachy, freckled skin that Mary had, but his hair was dark, chestnut brown. When he blinked his little eyes, framed by dark lashes, his irises were a deep, moss green.   
  
    “Oh Dean,” Sam breathed, putting an arm around his brother. “He’s beautiful. He’s just... wow.”  
  
    “I know, right?” Dean laughed. “Who’d of thought Cas and I’d make such gorgeous babies together?... Could you ask the doctor to come up?”  
  
    Sam nodded, pulling his eyes from his nephew and turning back toward the hall. Dean continued to stare down at his son until his name drew his attention.  
  
    “Dean?”  
  
    Dean turned with a smile to Castiel as the archangel was helping him to sit. Dean sat down beside him, and tilted the little bundle in his arms so Cas could take a good look at him.   
  
    “What do you think, huh?” Dean asked happily, sniffing back his happy tears. “We did good, right?”  
  
    Castiel brought a hand to his mouth, catching sight of the baby’s deep green eyes.   
  
    “Dean...” Cas breathed in awe. “he has your eyes... I’m so happy...”  
  
    Dean chuckled, shaking his head as he handed the infant over to the Angel. Castiel got to hold him for a few moments before the doctor came in to do her part. After a thorough checkup, she declared him perfectly healthy before turning him back over to Cas while she completed the birth record.   
  
    “I’ll have this filed with the county clerk,” she told them, placing it back in her bag. “Have you thought about circumcision? I’d get that done before he’s a week old, if you want to minimize pain.”  
  
    “Wow,” Dean remarked. “I... I never thought about it.”  
  
    “It’s unnecessary,” Castiel replied simply, staring down into his son’s sleeping face. “My father requires no such covenant of blood with us, and with proper hygiene there is no reason for it.”  
  
    Dean grimaced, considering he Angel’s response.   
  
    “But... don’t you think he’ll wonder why he looks different than...” he blushed lightly, lowering his voice. “Than you and me?”  
  
    Castiel shrugged, brushing a fingertip down the baby’s straight nose. Dean’s nose.   
  
    “We’ll explain it to him. I’m sure he won’t feel distressed by _not_ having his foreskin cut off.”  
  
    Dean grimaced, but found he couldn’t refute Castiel’s words. Dr. Stewart spoke.   
  
    “Well, it’s not medically necessary, you’re right.” she agreed. “But, if you change your minds, just let me know. Now, do you mind if I take a look at your abdomen, Castiel?”  
  
    Cas nodded, handing the baby back to Dean and lifting his shirt so that she could examine the flat expanse of muscle underneath. He did hiss at the contact of her hand on his stomach, but he only grimaced from the discomfort.    
  
    “It is sore,” he explained. “But, my brother says there is no damage.”  
  
    “Wow,” she commented. “I wish I had recovered that quickly after mine.”  
  
    “I am an Angel,” Cas pointed out. Dr Stewart laughed.   
  
    “Of course.” she stood up, sighing and smiling at then. “Well, I will get this paperwork taken care of. Congratulations, gentleman. I’ll see you in one week.”  
  
    Dean thanked the doctor and walked with her downstairs. After seeing her off, he invited everyone up to meet his new child. He happily took his daughter from his mother’s arms, carrying her up to see her new baby brother.   
  
    “Today, you got one of the best things in the world, Mare,” he explained to her. “You got a little brother. A baby brother.”  
  
    “Bee-bee.” Mary repeated. She squealed happily upon seeing Castiel since she hadn’t had the chance to be with him that morning. He smiled happily back at them.   
  
    “Look what I have, Mary,” he told her. Dean sat down on the side of the bed, letting Mary lean over to see the baby in her father’s arms. Mary made a soft ‘oh’ sound before looking back at Dean.  
  
    “Bee-bee,” she said quietly, looking back down at the bundle in Castiel’s arms. “bee-bee...”  
  
    Dean kissed her on the head, grinning broadly as he looked upon his family. Falling in love with Castiel was the best thing he ever did, and it just seemed to get better every day.   
  
    The rest of the group took turns standing beside Dean to look down at the newest addition to the Winchester family. Jimmy teared up just a bit upon hearing his name. Dean handed little Daniel James over to him, and Sam held Mary while Dean settled back at Castiel’s side.   
  
    “How’re you feeling, hon?” he asked, gently laying a palm over Cas’s stomach. It was weird to see the flesh so flat again, as he was becoming used to the Angel’s pregnant look. But, he wasn’t going to complain.   
  
    “I’m fine Dean,” he assured him. “Like I said, I am sore, but nothing troubling. I’m... I’m just happy that we have our son now. It’s worth a little discomfort.”   
  
    Dean smiled, leaning over to kiss the Angel’s mouth.   
  
    “I’ll go get you something to drink, hm?” Dean asked with a grin. “Now that you can have beer again.” Cas nodded, feeling it was pointless to remind him that he never couldn’t have beer. “And I’ll make up the baby’s bottle. I’ll be right back.”  
  
    Dean left the group fawning over his newborn son, and went to the kitchen to make the bottle. Before he could start, he took out his phone, looking at it a moment before selecting a number and putting in a text.   
  
_Dad - your grandson was born today. Daniel James Winchester. He’s perfect. Thought you might want to know. -Dean._  
  
    He felt a knot in his stomach when he hit send, but ignored it on the counter as he set to mixing formula. In a couple of moments, his phone buzzed in response. Dean stared at the phone a moment, not sure if he wanted to see what was on the reply. Hesitantly, he picked it up and activated the screen.  
  
 _Congratulations, son. I’m happy for you and Cas. Kiss both of those babies for me. And send photos. Love dad._  
  
    Dean felt the muscles in his throat contract. As much as part of him wanted to be angry, to hold a grudge and punish John Winchester for every wrong decision he every made, another part of him just wanted his dad. He punched in a quick text before taking both bottle and beer upstairs to his husband.   
  
_Will do._   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean leaned in to give Castiel a soft, slow kiss. Cas seemed to melt in his arms, and Dean held him close as the Angel rested his head on his shoulder. Dean tucked his face down against the shorter man’s neck, kissing the side of his throat. Cas made a small moan, lifting his head and meeting Dean’s mouth with his own. They kissed each other softly a moment before Cas pulled away.
> 
> "That reminds me," he said. Dean raised an eyebrow. The Angel took a deep breath. "I love you and both of our children very, very much, but I think we should probably discuss contraception."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been very busy with work and health things and then my computer died. I was stuck with two different word processing programs, but I was finally able to salvage my old one. The formatting of this chapter may not match the others (because of the word processing issue), which vexes me greatly, but I don't feel like fixing it right now. I know this chapter is short, but I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much to all of you still reading and commenting. It means the world to me.
> 
> Oh, and the end of this chapter may seem a little familiar if you read my one shot "Just the way you are". I actually wrote this first and the scene inspired me to write a gift fic to the lovely and vastly talented museaway. I highly recommend everything she writes. :)

Dean existed in a state of near euphoria as the day wore on. Having a house full of family and getting to celebrate his child’s birth with those who loved him and Cas was like a little slice of heaven - not the psycho-angels-trying-to-destroy-the-world-heaven, but the beautiful, zen and rainbows type.

After being assured that Cas and the baby were fine, and getting to spend just enough time fawning over little Daniel James, Jimmy had left the Winchester home to share the good news and photos with his family. The angels also departed, leaving the Winchester household alone to celebrate their new addition.

The group remained congregated in Dean and Castiel's room long after the last of the guests had left. Sam and Jessica sat on the end of the bed, watching Dean hold his son and feed him his second bottle of the day. Mrs. Winchester stood behind Sam, one hand on his shoulder and the other absently stroking his hair, and Bobby stood against the wall trying not to smile at the sight. Castiel was holding Mary in his lap until she happily began to try to bounce on his stomach, and he handed her off to Sam with tears in his eyes. Mrs. Winchester left to find him a heating pad.

When Daniel had his fill of warm formula, he was content to be passed from person to person, so everyone had a chance to appreciate his perfection.

"Ugh," Jessica sighed, when she got her turn to hold the baby. "He’s so tiny. I didn’t realize how big Mary has gotten until he came along," she brushed her fingertip down the curve of the baby's freckled nose, turning to smile at his fathers. Sam leaned to peer past Jessica, resting his chin on her shoulder as he looked down at the infant.

"I think Mary had about 4 or 5 ounces on him, too," Sam commented, reaching around his wife's side to touch the infant's tiny leg. Daniel recoiled at the touch, his thin arms and legs pulling closer in to his torso, but he didn't wake. "I mean, when you look at all Mary's cute little rolls of fat, it's hard to believe she was ever this small!"

"I know," Dean sighed, reaching to run a hand over the baby’s dark hair. He smiled wider at how much his son looked like Cas. If they were never able to have another child, they were so lucky to get the two most beautiful and precious children to ever be born. Some would say he was biased, but they’d be wrong.

Dean looked back to where Cas leaned against the headboard, holding the heating pad to his abdomen and watching Jessica hold the little baby in her arms. The Angel looked beautiful, his own dark, wavy hair was slightly disheveled and his blue eyes, while bright, were hooded with heavy lids. He turned to Dean, smiling back with so much affection it made Dean smile wider.

"You look like you need a nap," Dean laughed, reaching out and rubbing a hand over Cas’s thigh. "I’m pretty sure our little guy will get a couple hours in so you can."

Cas’s smile faltered slightly, and he looked back to where his sister-in-law sat on the end of the bed, cradling his son. Jessica stood, moving to his side and depositing the tiny baby back into his arms.

"I can see you want this back more than you want sleep," she told him, running a hand affectionately over his hair.

"Thank you, Jessica," Castiel murmured as she removed the heating pad from over his belly and adjusted the pillows at his back. Daniel yawned widely, his eyes crinkling and his little mouth forming a perfect ‘O’. Castiel felt his heart melting. He cuddled the baby closer to his chest, his nose brushing the baby's soft hair.

Dean felt his own heart reacting to the sight, and he turned his smile to the cherubic baby in his brother’s arms.

"Hey Sammy," he spoke. "If you could put her down for a nap, I’ll convince Mr. Euphoria over here that he needs one too?"

"I’m not tired at all," Castiel spoke, his eyes never leaving the infant’s face. However, when the baby yawned again, Castiel followed suit. Dean chuckled.

"Alright," he said, coming to the side of the bed and gently taking the baby from his husband’s arms. Daniel made a mewling whine, and Dean shushed him softly as he rocked the little boy in his arms. Everyone else took this as cue to leave the room, and Castiel sat watching Dean as the hunter stripped the infant of his onesie and changed his diaper. Once the baby was redressed and content, Dean placed him back into Castiel’s arms. "Hold him for a second while I wash up, then I’m putting you both down, okay?" He pressed a kiss on the Angel’s forehead before going to the bathroom to dispose of the diaper and wash his hands. When he returned, Cas was marveling over Daniel’s tiny fingers wrapped around his own.

"He is breathtaking," the Angel whispered, running his thumb over the soft skin of the baby’s hand. Dean settled at Cas’s side, wrapping an arm around his husband’s back and looking down at his son.

"He looks like you," Dean whispered, turning to brush a kiss on Castiel’s ear. Castiel suppressed a pleased smile.

"He has your eyes," he spoke softly. "And your freckles...and I think he has your nose…"

Dean gave a soft snort of laughter, looking back down to the baby in Cas’s arms.

"Well, he certainly needs to have your eyes right now," Dean said, slipping his hands around the infant and taking him from his father. "Because you need yours to be closed right now too," Cas made a sound of protest, but Dean spoke over him. "I’ll bring the cradle closer to the bed, so you will be able to see him." Dean placed the baby in his bed, tucking a blanket around him before picking up the entire cradle and moving it to Cas’s bedside. "There ya go," Dean sighed, watching Cas lean over to peer into the cradle. "He’s going to be out for a couple hours, so make sure you get some sleep yourself."

Castiel deflated slightly and he lay back on the bed, allowing Dean to pull the sheet over him.

"It’s not exactly fair," Cas told him, stifling a yawn. "With so many people here, I barely got a chance to hold him."

Dean smiled, leaning down over the Angel and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"You have forever to hold him," Dean assured Castiel, kissing him once more on the mouth. "He’s here now."

Dean left Castiel smiling, and he returned downstairs to join the rest of his family. He was pretty sure Cas got out of bed as soon as he stepped foot into the hall, but he couldn’t blame the Angel. A couple hours alone with their son was probably worth the exchange of a couple hours sleep to Cas. He had been too scared of fatherhood and of holding an infant when Mary was newborn, so he was probably longing to make up for what he missed out on before.

Dean’s face lit up with a smile upon seeing his little girl sitting in Sam’s lap, and the baby looked equally excited to see him. She lifted her arms as he approached, and Dean ignored Sam's sheepish grin of having been so quickly found to have not put his niece down for a nap. Dean swept his daughter up against his chest, giving the little girl several happy kisses on the face before turning to his brother.

"You wanna have a drink with me, Sam?" he asked.

"Heck yeah," Sam agreed, standing and moving with his Dean into the kitchen. He watched his older brother expertly mix a bottle of formula while keeping his daughter perched in his arm. Once the bottle was made, he grabbed two beers from the fridge, handing one to Sam, and the two moved out onto the patio.

Dean settled in a chair, tucking Mary down in his arm and getting her started on her bottle before starting on his own. Sam was grinning widely at his brother, and Dean merely blushed and looked down at his baby girl. There was silence between them a moment before Dean spoke.

"Some days, this still feels like a freaking dream, Sammy." he spoke quietly. Sam’s smile softened and he looked down at his own wedding band.

"Better than a dream, I’d say," Sam replied. "I don’t see how it can be any better."

Dean ran a hand over his daughter’s blonde curls.

"When you have one of your own," he remarked.

Sam grinned and nodded, his eyes traveling down to where his niece lay nursing her bottle in Dean's arms. Mary was watching him with her wide, blue eyes and she smiled happily, pulling away from the bottle to babble at him. The brothers laughed, but Dean readjusted her in his arms and placed the bottle back in her mouth.

"He is really cute, you know," Sam said, stretching out his legs and sighing. "He's got such a serious little face for such a tiny baby. And so much more hair than Mary had the day she came!... I sort of expected him to look like Mary. You know... chubby and big and smiley."

Dean ran a hand over his daughter's hair, brushing the honey blonde curls from her forehead and leaned in to kiss her face.

"I was hoping he'd look like Cas," he admitted with a small sigh. "I'm not even sure why... I just... when I imagined him in my head, it was like Cas, but a baby..." he laughed at his own words. "But yeah, he's beautiful. I feel like... I feel like this is the way it was supposed to be, you know?"

Sam nodded. Had he and Dean got to live out a normal adult life, Dean probably would have had two kids by now. Of course, there was no telling who the lucky someone would have been, but Sam was glad it was Castiel. He had always been aware of the attention that his brother attracted, but he never doubted what Castiel felt for Dean was anything but pure affection.

"I envy you getting to spend the next couple weeks at home with Cas and the kids and mom and Bobby." Sam said, taking a drink from his beer and looking up at the house. Dean gave a slightly amused snort.

"Well, I'm not so sure about that," Dean replied. "I mean I get it, in theory. Hanging out with babies and mom and Bobby. But, I'm pretty sure even with all the help, we're going to be exhausted and busy. You'll get to spend time with the kids when you get home, when they're well fed and rested."

"I'll take exhausted and busy over bored any day," Sam said with a heavy sigh. "Connor was partnered with me for the last case you and I were researching, but so far we're still drawing up nothing."

Dean frowned, shaking his head.

"I know that creepy looking corporate slimeball is up to something. I know it," Dean insisted. "And there have been too many suspicious disappearances that link to him."

"Link really, really weakly," Sam pointed out. "So unless we get wind of a more obvious case, I'm going to be doing nothing but research until the SucroCorp case breaks – _if_ it ever does."

"It will," Dean assured him with a frown. He took a drink from his bottle, shaking his head ruefully. "There is something off with that Dick."

The brothers were both distracted by a sound from overhead, and they turned to look up at the second story window. Castiel pushed the window open, lifting the screen and peering back down at them.

"Cas," Dean called, squinting against the sun as he turned further in his chair to look up at his husband. "What are you doing? Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," Castiel replied, while Mary screamed happily at him. He was diverted by the little girl's delight upon seeing him, and he spoke down to her. "Hello beloved," he said, his voice soft with affection. "Why are you not napping?"

"Why are _you_ not napping?" Dean asked, interrupting the adorable exchange. Castiel looked flustered, and his brow furrowed as he looked to Dean. He hesitated a moment before speaking.

"How do I send a picture on my phone?" he asked.

"What?" Dean laughed. "Who are you sending pictures to?"

"Lisa," Castiel admitted. "I promised her I would send pictures when the baby came and..." he looked back over his shoulder a moment before turning back to Dean. "And he looks rather perfect in sleep right now."

Dean gave another soft laugh, shaking his head as he stood. He handed Mary gently to Sam before returning back upstairs to his husband and son. Castiel was securing the window closed, and he winced slightly, bringing a hand to his stomach as he moved toward Dean.

"Babe, jeeze," Dean exclaimed, putting an arm around the Angel and leading him back to the bed. "You're killing me."

"My apologies," Castiel said, sitting back in bed while Dean pulled the blanket over him. "But, I am not an invalid. It is not as though I truly gave birth and my body is having to recover."

"Excuse me," Dean replied. "But you spent a good seven hours groaning and writhing before popping a kid out of your gut. And by that look on your face whenever you have to bend in the middle, I'm going to say it did a number on you bad enough that you should take it easy for a while. Why didn't your brother heal you, anyway? The jerk."

"He was here merely to oversea my safety and the safety of our child," Castiel said patiently. "He was not to interfere in the natural consequence of my separation." he placed a hand over his sore abdomen. "I chose this life. I don't regret one second of it. Sore muscles are of little consequence."

Dean frowned, tucking the blanket around the Angel's legs.

"Yeah, well," he grumbled. "He's your big brother, and he shouldn't have listened to you..."

Castiel smiled warmly, not bothering to refute Dean's assessment. He watched the hunter settle on the bed beside him, taking the phone in his hand and scrolling through the photo roll.

"Which ones?" he asked, tilting the phone for Cas to see. Castiel chose a handful of photos from the several dozen he had taken, and Dean added them to the email draft Cas had started. It was Dean's turn to watch the other as Cas meticulously typed his message. When the swoosh of a successfully sent message sounded, Castiel set the phone aside and turned to Dean. The hunter smiled at him. "Alright," Dean said, patting the Angel on the thigh. He was about to instruct him to go to sleep, but they just watched each other a moment instead.

"I love you," Dean told Castiel, taking his hand and kissing the back of it. "Now get some rest, damn it."

Castiel chuckled, placing his free hand to his abdomen to soothe the ache. Dean stood, leaning over the Angel and pressing one last kiss to his forehead. Before he could stand upright, a soft mewling sound rose from the cradle, and both Dean and Cas turned to the sound. After a few seconds of silence, the baby began to whine anew.

Dean walked to the cradle and leaned down over the infant.

"Hey, buddy," Dean whispered, placing a hand on the baby's belly. "It's alright."

The baby quieted at Dean's touch, but began to fuss shortly after. Dean stood, holding the infant against his shoulder and bouncing softly on the balls of his feet. Castiel watched his husband with a soft, yet enamored smile. Dean grinned at him.

"I bet you'd like to take this?" Dean asked, turning back to the bed. Castiel held out his hands and Dean deposited the little angel in his father's arms. Castiel sighed, his body visibly relaxing as he curled the baby to his chest. Dean settled back on the side of the bed, transfixed by the serene expression on Castiel's face. The two were silent, the only sound in the room the content, soft breathing of the baby as he lay against Cas's skin.

Castiel brushed his fingertips over the child's smooth brow, trailing up into his soft, curly hair. Dean smiled at how gentle and natural the Angel's movements were.

"I remember waging war for heaven," Castiel spoke quietly, his eyes never leaving his son's sleeping face. Dean's brows pinched together out of curiosity, but he let Castiel continue without question. "I remember the first mission I ever commanded... demons and angels battling over creation barely a moment after man was born..." he shook his head slightly, his eyes narrowing but still focused on little Daniel James. "I remember my first victory as if it were yesterday, and yet it seems like that happened to a very different being. I have stood on the edge of universe and looked down at it's myriad of color and beauty and life."

Dean lay a hand on Castiel's leg, giving the firm muscle of his thigh a squeeze. Castiel turned to the hunter, his smile returning.

"But never in my centuries of existence have I beheld anything more beautiful than the children that you and I created out of love." Dean mirrored the Angel's smile. "I have never been more fulfilled than I have by being in this family. I couldn't imagine being happier."

Dean leaned forward, and Castiel met him halfway, their lips meeting is a gentle, chaste kiss.

"Same here, buddy," Dean assured him. He rose from the bed, reaching out and running a hand affectionately through his husband's hair. "Get some sleep, hm?"

"I will," Castiel replied. Dean was pretty sure that he wouldn't.

Dean watched them silently for a moment before leaning down, gently tilting Cas's face up to his and kissing him softly one more time.

"I'll bring you some coffee in a bit," he said. The Angel thanked him, and Dean gave a huff of laughter as he left the room.

Dean brought coffee, as promised, but Castiel finally gave in to exhaustion around five and let the hunter take the newborn from his arms so he could sleep. Mrs. Winchester made supper for the family, and afterward everyone sat around the living room watching Dean hold the baby. Sam sat at his brother's side while Jessica and Bobby sat on the floor, playing with Mary at her activity table. Cas came downstairs at a quarter till nine, disheveled and sleepy looking, but he gently took his son from Dean’s arms and fed him his final bottle of the evening.

When they retired to bed, Dean paced the floor with the baby in his arms while Cas took a shower, and even though he had just recently napped, the Angel looked exhausted.

"I miss sleeping on my stomach," Cas grumbled, pressing a hand to his belly as he got into bed. He looked over to Dean as the hunter walked slowly across the room, his cheek against Daniel's head and his large hand resting on the baby's tiny back. Castiel smiled. "You were made for this." he commented.

Dean smirked at the praise, looking down at the little baby in his arms. Nothing felt as natural as holding his children, nothing felt as natural as being a dad; but as much as he wanted to agree with Cas's sentiment, he wasn't sure he was the best man for the job. He'd sure as hell try to live up to it though. He loved Cas fiercely and he loved his babies more than he could imagine, so he was going to give it his all.

"Is he asleep?" Castiel asked, tilting his head as he looked up at Dean.

Dean carefully adjusted the infant in his arms, taking note of his even breathing and relaxed features.

"Yep," He answered, carrying the baby to the side of the bed and letting Castiel brush a gentle kiss across Daniel's forehead before carrying him back to the cradle. He pushed the infant bed closer to theirs before he crossed to his side and crawled in next to Cas. "You need anything before we call it lights out?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head, scooting closer to the hunter as Dean held an arm out to him. Dean reached out to snap off his lamp before settling back against the mattress, pulling Cas in close. The Angel grunted softly in discomfort as the shift in position sent twinges of pain through his belly, but he was able to find a comfortable place wrapped in Dean's arms. They were silent a moment before Cas spoke.

"I've missed this..." he spoke quietly.

Dean smiled, hugging his husband and kissing his hair.

Me too," he murmured, pressing his forehead to Castiel's. "Me too..." Castiel turned his face up to Dean's, easily finding his husband's lips in the darkness. When he spoke, his words were slow and deliberate and heavy with emotion.

"I... _love_ you... Dean Winchester."

Dean smiled broadly, feeling a warm happiness bubble up inside of him. He pulled Cas tighter, kissing him once more on the forehead before closing his eyes. Castiel fell asleep quickly, and Dean enjoyed the warm weight of the Angel against him. While it had felt like way too long since they were able to get close, face to face, having their healthy, beautiful son was more than worth it.

　

~~~~~~~~~~

　

Dean and Cas fell into an easy routine over the next three weeks. Cas would nap late in the evening, give Daniel his last bottle of the night, and wake up in the middle of the night to feed him when he cried. Dean would rise with the sun, feeding Daniel and Mary before waking Cas around nine. They were so busy with the children that exhaustion became second nature – next to the permanent feeling of exuberant joy.

One Monday morning, Dean finished feeding Mary a bowl of rice cereal mixed with apricots and left her sitting between Jess and Bobby as they watched Lion King for the seventh time since the last Monday. Sam was holding tiny Daniel delicately in his arms while the baby slept, having just finished a bottle of formula. Dean took the stairs to the second floor, intending to wake Cas, but when he reached the bedroom, the bed was already empty.

"Cas?" he called, knocking softly on the bathroom door. There was a moment of quiet before the door opened and Cas emerged looking slightly haggard and disgruntled. "Y’alright?" Dean asked him.

Castiel took a deep breath, a hand massaging his belly as he replied.

"I thought I had to urinate," he began gruffly. "But, I was wrong."

Dean tried not to grimace or laugh, and he reached out and ran a hand through the Angel’s hair.

"Did...did you try?" he asked.

Cas finally smiled, a soft laugh escaping him and he nodded.

"Yes, Dean," he said. "It was fruitless."

Dean grinned, giving him a teasing nudge in the arm.

"I could run that water, if that would help."

Castiel's smile remained, but he tilted his head slightly to one side.

"How would that help?" he asked. Dean chuckled, shaking his head.

"I... I’ll explain it to you when we potty train Mare."

"Ah," Cas replied, nodding. Dean reached down and gently slipped his hand under Castiel’s, feeling the tense muscle of his abdomen.

"How’re you doing?" he asked softly. "Still sore?" Cas put his hand over Dean’s.

"Just a little bit," he replied. "But, it’s not as bad as it was last week. The pain is going away. I suppose it is a small price to pay to have a healthy child and a flat stomach."

Dean smiled, wrapping his arms around his husband’s neck.

"You were always sexy to me," Dean told him, leaning in to give him a soft, slow kiss. Cas seemed to melt in his arms, and Dean held him close as the Angel rested his head on his shoulder. Dean tucked his face down against the shorter man’s neck, kissing the side of his throat. Cas made a small moan, lifting his head and meeting Dean’s mouth with his own. They kissed each other softly a moment before Cas pulled away.

"That reminds me," he said. Dean raised an eyebrow. The Angel took a deep breath. "I love you and both of our children very, very much, but I think we should probably discuss contraception."

Dean smirked, giving a nod.

"You as tired as I am?" he asked. Cas sighed.

"I thought once the baby came, I would be dreaming about getting to spend uninterrupted time in bed with you, making love. Now I just want eight hours of sleep." Dean laughed heartily, and Castiel smiled shyly, his hands idly running up and down the small of Dean’s back.

"I hear you on that one, babe," Dean told him. "Our boy’s got a healthy set of lungs on him."

"Our son..." Castiel spoke with a sigh, leaning back into Dean’s arms. Dean’s smile widened and he wrapped his arms around his husband again.

"I know babe," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the Angel’s hair. "But, I get what you mean... I’m tired, and I know you’re tired. And if we had another right away... We’d have three under three, and that... that sounds-"

"Exhausting." Cas admitted. He pulled back, looking at Dean with apprehension. "If I put the sigil back in place, we may... we may lose our chance to-"

"Baby," Dean interrupted, bringing his hands to Castiel’s face. "We have a beautiful daughter, and a beautiful son. If we don’t have two more... I’ll be okay with that. Besides, we can always, you know, adopt if we wanted to. We’re already so lucky."

Cas nodded, looking up at Dean with such soulful blue eyes.

"Our family is... is everything to me. You’ve made me so happy, I just hope that-"

Dean silenced him with a kiss, one that left the Angel breathless and lightheaded when the hunter pulled away.

"I’ve loved you for almost as long as I’ve known you," he told the other man. "And I never thought I’d get a chance to be so happy. And it’s all because of you Cas. Because of how much you love me." he paused, pressing his lips together as he tried to articulate the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and love. "You’ve... You’ve given me so much. And I think it’s time we’ve stopped worrying if we’ve made the other happy enough. Because I’m fucking ecstatic."

Castiel had an odd expression on his face, and Dean wasn’t sure if he were going to cry.

"Babe?" he asked, quietly. Cas’s brow furrowed.

"I love you so much, Dean," he stated, sincerely. "But... I have to urinate."

Dean gave a grunt of laughter, turning the Angel loose from his arms.

"You need help?" he grinned. Castiel grimaced.

"This is not sexy, Dean," he replied, grimly. "It’s unpleasant."

Dean chuckled, leaning against the threshold of the bathroom as the Angel turned back to the toilet and stood quietly. After a minute of silence, Dean crossed to the faucet and turned on the water so it trickled steadily into the sink. Cas made a small sound of surprise.

"That does help..."

Dean chuckled, crossing back into the bedroom and waiting for Cas to join him. It was only a couple of moments before the flush of the toilet and the water rushing in the sink preceded Cas's return

"I’m going to take a shower," the Angel announced, walking back into Dean’s embrace. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Dean agreed, with a cheeky leer. "It’s just too bad I’ve already had mine."

Cas sighed.

"Oh Dean," he said with a shake of his head. "I just want to wash. I do love you though."

Dean laughed heartily, turning the Angel loose and returning back down stairs. He had to admit, Cas plainly, yet gently, turning him down for sex made him a little warmer and happier than he could imagine, for it meant that Castiel was truly comfortable with him and knew that their love was true - not contingent on favors. Dean could appreciate that, even if it made him laugh. At some point he and Cas were just going to have to realize they were in this forever due to nothing but good old fashioned, head-over-heels love. You'd think having two kids together would have helped them realize that.

Gabriel came by that night to check on Cas and the "fledglings", bringing Mary a tiny harp that made pretty much everyone laugh as she happily strummed it while sitting in his lap. Cas seemed to hum with happiness as he watched his elder brother hold little Daniel against his shoulder, marveling over all his lovely features that reminded him of Cas.

Before the archangel left, Castiel discreetly asked him if he would place the procreation control sigil back on his and Dean's spirit. Gabriel chuckled at the request, but complied, giving the younger Angel a theatrical kiss on the forehead before leaving.

After dinner that evening, the entire family was gathered in the living room watching television. Dean was laying on his back on the sofa, his head resting on Castiel’s lap, and little Daniel sleeping curled up on his chest. Mrs. Winchester was sitting on the floor next to Bobby, who held little Mary in his lap as she "read" a book. Sam and Jessica were curled up on the love seat in front of the front window.

No one was really watching the television; Mary and Bobby were watching their granddaughter as she babbled over the pictures in her book, Sam was watching his niece, Dean was watching his son’s gentle breathing as he slept, and Jessica was watching Castiel, who was watching his husband, his fingers gently combine through Dean’s hair. After a few moments, Dean caught Castiel’s hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. Castiel smiled down at him, curling his hand against Dean’s jaw and softly stroking the side of Dean’s beard with thumb. Dean mouthed something that made the Angel blush, and he turned away and caught Jess watching him. He blushed harder.

"Well, I don’t know about you guys," Jessica announced, scooting to the edge of the sofa and stretching her arms above her head. "But, I’m ready to hit the hay." she leaned back and pressed a quick kiss to Sam’s lips. "I’ll see you when you come down."

"I’ll be right there," he told her. Jessica said her goodnights to the rest of the group as she passed through the living room.

"I should be heading to the hotel myself." Bobby said with a sigh.

"Aw, c’mon Bobby," Sam entreated him. "We can make up a bed on the sofa,"

"Nah," Bobby replied, handing Mary to her grandmother. "I’m too old to crash on a couch. I’ll be back early." He leaned down and patted the baby on her head. "Goodnight, pigeon."

"Nigh-nigh," she said waving. Sam walked Bobby to the door and returned to pepper his niece with kisses before saying his own goodnights to the group. After Sam left the room, Mrs. Winchester picked up her granddaughter and turned to her son where he still lay contentedly against Cas.

"You want me to put her to bed?" she asked. "And if it helps you come to a decision, I really want to do it." she added with a smile. Dean chuckled.

"How could I refuse?" he replied. She leaned down holding the baby toward Dean. "Good night precious," Dean said to her as the baby pucker her lips to receive his kiss. Mary held the baby over Cas next.

"Goodnight, Mary," he said softly, receiving her kiss and gently extracting her hand from his hair.

"Dada," she said sadly, reaching out for him again. Mrs. Winchester sighed.

"Well, that trumps grandma any day of the week," she said with a smile as she let Castiel pull the baby into his arms.

"We’ll take her to bed with us, mom," Dean told her, "Don’t worry about staying up."

"Okay," she gave both men affectionate pats on the head. "Good night boys."

Dean pushed himself from the sofa, carefully keeping Daniel against his chest as he moved into the kitchen and expertly made up two bottles with one hand. He handed them off to Castiel so he could go around the ground floor, turning off lights and checking the locks.

They went upstairs together, and Dean lay his son down gently in the cradle for a moment so he could shed his clothing and get washed up for bed, and he took little Mary from Cas so he could do the same. After, they settled side by side on the bed, Dean cradling Daniel and Cas at his side, holding Mary in his arms as he fed her a bottle. Dean couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as they sat there in the silence, which was broken periodically by his daughter who would pull away from her bottle and babble up at Cas in an attempt to keep herself awake. Castiel would shush her softly, remind her of the hour and encourage her to drink.

Daniel fell asleep without trouble, and Dean lay him in the cradle before returning to bed. Cas’s eyelids were drooping, but Mary was watching him with wide, blue stare.

"Go to sleep, baby-girl," Dean whispered to her, leaning over and kissing her face. She grinned around the nipple of her bottle, reaching up to touch his face.

"Papa," she cooed happily. Dean took her hand and kissed it.

"Sleep," he told her. Castiel took the bottle and sat it aside, sitting Mary up on his lap and patting her back until she burped. She giggled happily and both men laughed in spite of themselves.

"Alright now," Castiel said firmly, laying Mary down in the middle of the bed between him and Dean. "It’s time to sleep. Bed time."

Castiel turned off the light at his bedside and Dean clicked his lamp down to the lowest setting so a soft glow was cast around the room. He lay down on his side, looking down at his wide-eyed baby beside him.

"Papa," she whispered, reaching up again for his face. Dean kissed her hand, tickling her fingers with his beard.

"Dean," Castiel admonished softly. "She’ll never sleep if you keep playing with her."

"I know," Dean sighed, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "Go to sleep, Mares."

Castiel was quiet a moment before he spoke.

"Sing to her..." he suggested. "...please?" he added. Dean looked over at his husband, his eyebrows raised a moment before he turned back down to look at his child.

"You want me to irritate her into unconsciousness?" he asked, self-consciously. Castiel rolled his eyes, but settled himself comfortably against the pillows.

"Don't be self-depreciating of your gifts," the Angel instructed. "We both know that you are immensely talented. In all respects, not just vocally."

Dean gave a small laugh, grinning at his husband. If Cas hadn't just had a baby three weeks ago, and one of their babies wasn't lying between them, Dean certainly would have taken the liberty in showing Cas where he thought he was most talented. Dean cleared his throat.

"I don't have any lullaby's off the top of my head," he admitted, watching the way his daughter held on to his thumb with her tiny hand. Castiel's smile was sleepy and slightly nostalgic.

"In the hundreds of times I had the honor of driving by your side, I have heard more than enough music that you appeared to know the lyrics to." Castiel's sleepy smirk made Dean grin.

"Any requests?" Dean laughed, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. Even though it was just Cas and Mary, he still felt a little vulnerable trying to sing for real outside of the shower, or the nursery at night when he didn't think anyone could hear. Castiel sighed deeply.

"Something... something that reminds you of me." he replied.

Dean's smile softened as he looked across at his husband.

"Something that reminds me of you, huh?" He asked. Were there really any words spoken, sung, or otherwise, that could really sum up how he felt about the Angel? He would have to be singing all night to even get close. But Cas was already half asleep, so he should be happy with only one song. Dean cleared his throat, looking down at the baby he was supposed to be crooning to sleep.

"This goes out to all the Angels in room," he began, enjoying Cas's smile at the words. He was equally pleased by the way Cas's expression shifted from amusement to awe when he started to sing. " _Don’t go changin’... to tryyy and please me...You’ve never let me down before, mmhmm.._ " Dean began softly, brushing his fingers gently over Mary’s hair. " _Don’t imagine... you’re too familiar... and I don’t see you anymore. I wouldn’t leave you... in times of trouble. We never could have come this far, mmhmm.. I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times... I’ll take you just the way you are_." Mary’s eye lids started to slowly fall as she listened to her father’s deep, soothing tone. Castiel was watching Dean through half lidded eyes, a reverent expression on his face. Dean lifted his gaze to Cas's face, blushing slightly as he continued. " _I need to know that you will always be, the same old someone that I knew. What will it take till you believe in me, that way that I believe in you_." Mary made a quiet mewling sound, her tiny hand fisted in the fabric of Dean’s shirt as she fell asleep. Dean continued singing, looking into Castiel’s dark, blue eyes. " _I said I love you and that’s for-ever, and this I promise from the heart. I could not love you... any better... I love you just the way you are..._ "

Castiel leaned over, his lips meeting Dean’s and he kissed him softly, yet the action seemed to covey all of the thoughts and feelings that they weren't able to act upon at this point in time.

"I love you, Dean," he whispered. Dean smirked, brushing his hand over Castiel’s cheek.

"I love you too, Angel."


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What ever happened to the badass Angel I once knew, hm?” Dean asked teasingly, turning his attention back to the news. Castiel sighed.  
> "Maybe later I will re-enact a smiting for you.” he said blandly, resting comfortably against Dean’s side. Dean’s smile faltered and he cleared his throat, shifting his hips as he suddenly felt he had a little less room in his jeans. He didn’t respond to Cas’s comment, but his ears burned for the next several minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was so long in posting again. For those still reading, I hope you enjoy. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end... lol

Almost instantly, the differences between Mary and Daniel were becoming obvious to the Winchester household. Mary had always been a patient and accommodating baby; Daniel, however, appeared to be _very_ particular about the way he wanted things. First, he preferred to be held by Dean or Castiel, but while he would allow others to hold him, he only had two positions he would tolerate before letting his displeasure be known. Second, Mary had always been very regular in her routine, but Daniel favored sleep over pretty much all else, and didn’t want to be disturbed for things like food or baths. And, most noticeably, while Mary was a good natured, happy baby, so far Daniel was serious and quiet - for the most part. He appeared far too particular and was very vocal when those particular needs were not being met. It was universal between the siblings though that both loved being cuddled and held by their fathers, and looked like little angels when they slept.

Dean didn’t think he would ever quit smiling, even when listening to his son raise the roof with his cries. Daniel never cried long before Castiel would hold him close and press kisses into his wavy hair, and the baby would relax into contentment. Dean understood that feeling well.

Sam went back to work, reluctantly, the Monday after Daniel was born, but he was lucky enough to be present when Mary took her first independent steps. The little girl was excited and proud of herself, and Sam soon bought her her first pair of running shoes. Dean couldn’t believe his baby girl was walking, even if it was infrequent and unsteady, and didn’t look forward to the first time she would actually run in those shoes.

Daniel’s first week of life passed quickly, especially for Dean who was watching the calendar for the end of his family leave. He knew that he would have to return to work eventually, but he tried not to think of the day when his mom and Bobby would return to South Dakota, he and Sam returned to work, and Jessica started school, leaving Castiel alone with two babies. Castiel was handling the challenge well so far, quickly becoming an expert in multi-tasking and calming a cranky infant.

Dean had just put Mary down for the night and returned to the living room where Castiel sat on the sofa holding Daniel against his shoulder. Dean settled at the Angel’s side, softly touching Daniel’s back and watching the baby curl closer to Castiel’s neck.

“Don’t disturb him,” Castiel chastised with a soft smile on his lips. Dean grinned, leaning over and kissing the baby’s head before giving Cas’s cheek a peck.

“I won’t disturb him,” Dean replied in a mischievous tone. “Why would I disturb this perfectly sleeping baby?” he gently took the baby from Cas, cradling the tiny infant in the crook of his arm. “Why would I want to bother this beautiful, peaceful child...” Dean smiled, looking down into his son’s sleeping face. Castiel scooted closer to his side, leaning his head slightly on Dean’s shoulder as they both watched their child. The baby squeezed his eyes tighter, his little face scrunching in displeasure at having been moved, but he didn’t fuss or cry as he blinked his eyes to look up at Dean. Dean’s smile widened. “Hey buddy,” he spoke softly, brushing his hand over Daniel’s hair. “You gonna sleep all day? You wanna hang out with me and daddy for a bit?”

Daniel’s tiny mouth puckered, and he closed his eyes again. Dean chuckled, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the baby’s forehead.

“Danny,” he cajoled, bouncing the baby slightly in his arms. “C’mon bud, you have to eat before you go to bed.”

“I’ll make his bottle,” Castiel spoke, rising from his seat and moving into the kitchen. Dean continued to rock the baby, trying to get him to wake. Castiel returned to Dean’s side, handing him the warm bottle of formula. The baby continued to sleep, turning his face further in to Dean’s shirt. Castiel smiled warmly, touching Daniel’s tiny hand. “You need to eat, beloved,” he spoke, his gruff voice speaking such sweet words made Dean grin.

“Come on, Dan,” Dean added, touching the bottle’s nipple to the baby’s cheek, seeing if he would turn for food. Daniel made an annoyed cry.

“Let me,” Cas spoke, and Dean relinquished the child to his husband, watching Cas settle the baby into his arms and offer him the bottle. Daniel gave a start of irritation at first, but eventually submitted to the food source and began to drink. Castiel sighed, settling back against the couch as he watched his son. Dean put an arm around the Angel, he too taking a moment to watch his newborn child as he nursed from the bottle. Dean pulled Cas closer, kissing his temple.

“How’re you holding up?” he asked, placing his feet on the coffee table. “Anything I can get you?”

“I’m fine,” Cas assured him, looking down at Daniel’s grumpy face as he fed. “I can’t think of anything that I’m lacking right now.”

“Well,” Dean said with a laugh. “When baby euphoria wears off and you want food or something to drink, you let me know.”

Castiel shook his head.

“I’m fine, Dean,” he assured the hunter. “Thank you for your concern. But I ate quite enough at dinner. I will keep you informed.”

Dean nodded, pulling his arm back and resting a hand on Cas’s leg as he picked up the television remote to turn on the evening news. He ran his hand absently up and down his husband’s thigh as he flipped through the local stations. Castiel smiled, leaning his head on his husband’s shoulder while looking down at his beautiful child. They were quiet a moment before Castiel spoke.

“I just thought of something you can do for me,” he told the hunter. Dean’s eyebrows raised and he looked down at Cas.

“Anything you want, bud, I’ll be happy to get it.”

Castiel smiled softly, not moving his head from Dean’s shoulder.

“You could put your arm back around me,” he said. Dean laughed, wrapping his arm back around Cas’s shoulders and pulling him close.

“What ever happened to the badass Angel I once knew, hm?” he asked teasingly, turning his attention back to the news. Castiel sighed.

“Maybe later I will re-enact a smiting for you.” he said blandly, resting comfortably against Dean’s side. Dean’s smile faltered and he cleared his throat, shifting his hips as he suddenly felt he had a little less room in his jeans. He didn’t respond to Cas’s comment, but his ears burned for the next several minutes.

Just as Daniel was falling back to sleep, he was startled awake when the front door opened and Sam and Jess nearly fell inside, laughing.

“Sorry!” Sam said immediately, grimacing as the baby began to cry. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t worry,” Dean replied as Cas lifted little Daniel to his shoulder and gently patted his back. Sam and Jessica moved into the room, settling on the loveseat beside the sofa. They were all silent, watching Cas shush the wailing infant. Daniel’s cries only lasted a few minutes until he realized he was touching his father’s skin and he calmed, his little limbs shivering as he was consoled back to sleep. Dean looked back to his brother. “How was the movie?” he asked, picking up the remote and muting the sound so he could focus on his brother and sister-in-law.

“Good,” Jessica smiled, turning back to grin at her husband. “And funny. But the best part was the restaurant.”

Sam rolled his eyes and groaned, shaking his head at her laughter, but he was smiling as well.

“Don’t start again,” he implored. Jessica’s face became seriously earnest.

“You’re what? Six-three? Six-four?” she asked. “Stand up. I think you’re more than six-four!”

Dean grinned as he watched the exchange and Sam turned wearily to him.

“Our waiter was a little obsessed with my height,” he explained.

“You’re both freakish giants,” Dean pointed out. “So, to be fair, it’s understandable...”

Sam rolled his eyes again. Jessica piped up to finish the story.

“And every time he came to the table, he’d ask Sam to stand up so he could see how tall he was.”

“I felt very self-conscious when it was time to leave.” Sam explained. Jessica gave his arm a squeeze and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“Well, the waiter couldn’t have been more than five-five, so you can’t blame him for being impressed.”

“Sounds like an eventful date night,” Dean observed. “That blush on your face looks like it’s from more than just embarrassment.”

Sam chuckled, running his hands through his hair.

“The waiter may have been annoying, but the wine was pretty darn good.”

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Jessica told him. “I was the designated diver. I’m very careful with your little brother.”

“You better be,” Dean remarked, giving her a faux stern look. Jessica grinned.

“However, I may have let him get to second base.”

“Gah,” Dean grimaced, but couldn’t help but laugh at Sam’s blush and Jessica’s continued giggles. Sam looked self consciously to the stair case.

“Where’re mom and Bobby?” he asked.

“Bobby went back to his hotel when he got a call do assist on research for a case,” Dean replied. “And mom went up to bed when we put Mary down for the night.”

“Aw, Mary’s already asleep?” Sam asked, disappointed. Jessica reached up to ruffle his hair.

“We better get to bed ourselves.” she said before rising. “Good night, you two.”

She leaned in to kiss Castiel’s cheek and brush a gentle kiss on the back of Daniel’s hair. Sam leaned in to kiss the baby next.

“Good night, guys,” he said, letting Jessica take his hand and lead him away. Dean and Castiel returned the sentiment, and they sat quietly a moment when they were once again alone.

“Well buddy,” Dean spoke, slapping a hand to his thigh. “I think that’s our cue to hit the hay ourselves.”

Castiel nodded in agreement, and Dean helped him to his feet. While Dean locked up the house, Castiel returned the bottle to the kitchen and Dean was waiting for at the bottom of the staircase. The house was quiet as they climbed the stairs to the second floor, Dean shutting their bedroom door behind them and Cas carried the sleeping baby to the cradle. Cas checked that the baby’s diaper was still dry before putting him into bed and tucking the blanket around him. He joined Dean in the bathroom where the hunter was washing up, and when both were finished with their nighttime routine, they climbed into bed. Castiel still made several grunts of discomfort as he found a comfortable position, and Dean settled in beside him.

“Good night, babe,” Dean murmured, kissing the Angel on the ear. Castiel pulled the hunter’s arm tighter around himself and closed his eyes. After a moment of silence, the Angel spoke.

“What’s ‘second base’?” he asked. Dean gave a small huff of laughter, and he pressed his forehead to Castiel’s shoulder.

“Ask me again when you’re stomach is feeling better.” he replied. “And I would be very happy to show you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Sam collapsed onto the bed when he and Jessica went down to their room. Jessica continued on into the bathroom, sweeping her long, blonde hair up into a pony tail.

“We should have got another slice of that cake to go,” she said, looking at herself in the mirror before picking up a cotton ball and soaking it in eye make-up remover. “I’m still hungry and I could probably polish off a whole cake on my own.”

“Was it good?” Sam asked, rolling onto his side and propping his head up on his hand. “Because I don’t think I got any...”

“Shut up!” Jessica laughed, grinning at him before turning back to the mirror to make sure none of her mascara remained. “That lobster was deliciously salty, so I needed something sweet to wash it down. How they got so much chocolate in that frosting...we should go back tomorrow.”

Sam smiled, pulling himself from the bed and joining his wife in the bathroom. He watched her wash her face, and as she was patting the water from her skin, he slipped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to the side of her throat.

“You taste better...” he murmured, placing another kiss above the last. Jessica sighed contentedly, wrapping her arms over his and tightening his embrace. Sam kissed her once more on the shoulder before stepping back, bringing his hands to the back of her neck and unzipping her dress.

“Thank you, Gee,” Jessica said with a smile, turning to look up at him as she let the garment slip down her body. She raised an eyebrow. “Is there anything I can help you get off?”

Sam smiled broadly, leaning down to pull her into his arms. Jessica giggled, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him enthusiastically as he carried her to the bed. They hit the mattress together and continued kissing as Jessica worked open the buttons on his shirt, Sam assisting as quickly as he could. The last button came off with a snap, and Jessica moved on to her husband’s belt as Sam pulled off his shirt and the tee shirt underneath.

Once his shirts were off, Sam pushed his pants and boxers to the floor in one shove, stepping out of the fabric and pulling his socks along with them. Jessica pushed herself up the bed and Sam moved over her, his mouth burning a path of kisses from her navel to her breasts. Jessica sighed, arching her back to give Sam’s hands room to work open the clasp of her bra. Her next sound was a breathy moan as her husband turned the attention of his mouth to the places of skin revealed when the bra was added to the pile of clothes on the floor. Jessica ran her hands over the long, lean muscles of Sam’s back and arms, and Sam continued his path of kisses up her throat and over her chin until their lips met.

Sam still was not over the surreal feeling of having this woman back in his life, or of living this life with her as his wife. Every moment with her was precious and wondrous, and at the same time, it felt as though there was never a moment they were apart. Sam felt as though there could not be another person in the world who he would be as happy with, that he felt he could be as comfortable with. Yes, he met many people in the time that they were apart who could satisfy his basic sexual needs, and there were even several people that he found himself attracted to on an intellectual level, but Jessica was the one person that felt as though filled the perfect spot missing in his soul.

“You’re thinking too much,” Jessica whispered, a smile on her lips as she ran her fingers up through his hair.

“Am I?” Sam asked, a slightly nervous yet amused laughter in his tone. “Sorry...”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jessica told him, her smile widening “Be helpful. Take my panties off.”

Sam laughed, pushing himself up to his knees. He drug his large hands purposefully down Jessica’s body, his fingertips gliding over her belly and tracing the line where the delicate black lace met her smooth skin. Jessica squirmed beneath his touch, and she lifted her hips as he pulled the tiny garment down her thighs. Sam kissed his way back up her body, resting comfortably between her legs.

Sam didn’t let his mind wander after that. He felt grounded by the connection of her bodies, the intensity of Jessica’s gaze, and the pleasant sting of her fingernails on his skin. And a quarter of an hour later, he could think of nothing but the thudding of his heart and the depth of each breath.

“Wow,” Jessica breathed, turning to look at Sam, who lay at her side. “Wow, Mr. Winchester. The defense rests.”

Sam chuckled, wrapping his arm around Jessica as she curled in against his chest. They were quiet a moment, Sam gently running his fingers up and down Jess’s bare arm. Jessica listened to the beating of her husband’s heart until it became as slow and steady as his breath. She leaned up on her arm, looking down into his sleeping face.

Even though she had spent literal time in heaven, nothing compared getting to live this life with Sam.

It took Jessica a few minutes to get the sleeping hunter to get beneath the blankets, and after padding to the door to turn off the lights, she joined him in bed, pressing against his back and wrapping her arm around him. She tried to keep her mind off those things that often kept her husband distracted. She knew he still had concerns about his life after they were separated. She knew he still had a small place in his mind that didn’t feel worthy. But she wanted nothing more than to give him a happy life full of love and joy and acceptance. She wanted to live up to all the things Dean wanted for Sam. All the things she wanted for Sam. And most importantly, all the things that Sam had tucked away in his heart.

Jessica didn’t sleep soundly, and when she woke, she was alone in bed and could hear the shower running in the bathroom. She pulled Sam’s pillow to her chest and tucked her face down in to it, laying in a state somewhere between awake and asleep until she heard the shower stop. With reluctance, she pulled herself from the bed, looking to the floor for Sam’s shirt but finding that Sam had already tidied up from last night. Sighing, Jessica pulled a tee shirt from her dresser and pulled it on as she walked into the bathroom.

“Morning,” Sam greeted, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Not as much as I’d have like to,” she admitted, leaning against the door frame as she watched Sam dry himself. “I’m pretty sure I probably slept better than Dean and Cas though, since I could hear Daniel crying at least three times last night.”

Sam grimaced, dropping his towel in the hamper and pulling his boxers on.

“I slept like a rock,” he said, guiltily. “I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well.”

Jessica shrugged, giving a weak smile.

“It’s Saturday, I’ll survive. I just hope the baby is okay.”

Sam nodded, grabbing his jeans from where they sat on the sink and pulling them on next.

“Yeah... Tell you what, I’ll go get you some coffee and see if anyone made anything good for breakfast. I’ll bring some down for you.”

Jessica shook her head.

“I’ll come up for breakfast. I won’t turn down the coffee though.”  
  
Sam slipped his arms around Jessica’s slim waist and hugged her tightly.

“I should have had a little less fun last night and you a little more,” he told her. Jessica smiled.

“Last night was amazing,” she assured him. “But you should have had a little more cake and me a little less. So, next time, okay?”

“Deal,” he laughed, grabbing his shirt. “I’ll be right back.”

Jessica watched him disappear into the hall and she turned to look at her reflection in the mirror. She did look like she had too much fun last night, and too much sugar. She brought her hands to her cheeks, patting her puffy skin and yawning. At least she’d have the whole day to rest and recuperate. And like she had told Sam, Dean and Cas had to be twice as tired as she was. She may have had too much on her mind last night, but they had a fussy infant. As much as she and Sam would love to have their own, they were notoriously bad at keeping track of her cycle, even with the help of those ovulation predictor kits. So they had given up on science and were going with nature.

Jessica bit her lip, her brow furrowing as she mentally counted in her head. Nature should have taken it’s course at least a week ago, now that she gave it some thought.

Digging through the vanity drawers, Jessica prayed that she still had at least one pregnancy test left from the dozens she had bought when they first started trying. Happily, she found one, and her hands were shaking as she pulled the plastic stick from the box and double checked the instructions.

“I think I made your coffee a little strong,” Sam spoke as he returned to the room. “But I didn’t think you would mind...”

He paused, confused a moment as he looked at Jessica where she stood beside the sink, her arms crossed and staring at the small, plastic indicator on the counter top.

“What... uh...” he spoke numbly, walking to her side. Jessica gave a small grimace and shrugged, tightening her arms around herself.

“It’s only been a minute,” she told him.

Sam let out a heavy breath, setting the cup down before he spilled it.

And they waited.

Dean sat at the kitchen table, feeding Mary a bowl of rice cereal mixed with applesauce, his eyes drooping with fatigue. Mrs. Winchester sat another cup of coffee in front of her son, patting his shoulder.

“I can take care of her if you want to go back to bed, sweetheart,” she said, taking the seat beside him. Dean stifled a yawn, shaking his head.

“Nah, I’m good.” Dean told her, wiping the baby’s chin before offering her the next spoonful. “I just want to give Cas a few more hours and maybe I’ll try to catch a nap later.” he shook his head. “I never thought it would be so easy to forget how to function on four hours of sleep. It used to be my norm. And poor Cas... he doesn’t do so good sleep deprived.”

The words were barely out of Dean’s mouth when a whooping shout sounded loudly from downstairs. Little Mary gave a startled shake, her happy face quickly changing to fear and she began to cry. Not seconds later, Daniel’s displeased wail could be heard from the next floor.

“God damnit,” Dean snapped, putting down the bowl and spoon and unstrapping Mary from her highchair so he could pick her up. “It’s alright baby,” he assured her, kissing her forehead as he carried her down the hall. Dean called down the stairs to the room on the floor below. “Sammy? Everything alright down there?”

Dean waited for a response, and for a moment he was met with nothing but silence. Just as he was about to repeat his question, Sam’s voice called up to him.

“Um yeah, we’re fine.” he said, and there was something odd in his voice that Dean couldn’t place. “I’m sorry I woke the baby. I’m sorry, it’s... um... we’ll be up in just a minute...”

“Alright,” Dean replied, shaking his head and returning to the kitchen. He was met with a sour faced Castiel with rumbled hair and pajamas, holding a fussing infant against his shoulder.

“Why is Sam screaming?” he asked abruptly, and Dean sighed.

“Sorry babe,” he answered, patting little Daniel on the back. “I’m not sure. He said he’d be up in a minute. Probably a spider or something...” Mary squealed happily at seeing Castiel, and she held out her arms to him. “Here,” Dean said. “I’ll trade you.”

As gently as possible, Dean and Castiel exchanged children and Dean tucked the fussy infant down into the crook of his arm while Castiel settled at the table with his daughter. Mrs. Winchester poured him a cup of coffee, and as she had with Dean, gave him a supportive, yet sympathetic, pat on the shoulder.

“Thank you,” Castiel spoke, holding Mary out of the way so she couldn’t grab the mug as he lifted it to his lips. “Do we have anything for a headache?”

“Yeah, I’ll get you something,” Dean replied, grabbing some medication and filling a glass with water. He sat down beside Cas, an watched as the Angel swallowed the pills. Cas looked horrible and Dean wished there was something he could do; but to be honest, he felt pretty crappy himself.

Mary, Dean, and Castiel sat around the table waiting for Sam to come up and explain. Castiel’s eyes were heavy lidded, and he placed his daughter back in her highchair to continue feeding her breakfast.

“Should I make him a bottle?” Dean asked Cas, looking down at his son’s sleeping face. Even though the baby was unconscious, his expression was grumpy. Castiel shook his head, his eyes almost rolling in their sockets.

“Please do not wake him,” he asked wearily. “Please let him sleep. I cannot bear to hear him cry again so early.”

Dean had to agree there, but he seemed to recall Mary eating more often when she was a baby. And Danny was so small compared to his roly-poly, chubby sister. He just needed to remind himself that Mary was a whole year older than Daniel, so she was going to look bigger in comparison, but the little baby was just so cranky and particular, Dean wanted to take care of him as best he could.

“Sorry,” was the first word out of Sam’s mouth as he entered the kitchen, holding Jessica’s hand and leading her into the room. His expression was apologetic, but there was something in his eyes that seemed a little more emotional than he should feel over having woke a sleeping baby. “Sorry, Cas.”

“It’s fine, Sam,” Castiel told him. “I just hope you are alright.”

“I’m great,” Sam assured him, smiling back at Jess. He turned back to Dean. “Is Bobby here yet?”

“Not yet, no,” Dean replied, his brow furrowing in concern. “What’s up, Sam?”

Sam took a deep breath, grinning happily. He looked to Jess again.

“You tell them,” he said. Jessica shook her head.

“No. You tell him.”

Dean felt a nervous anticipation in his stomach, and he looked up at his little brother. Sam’s eyes looked from Mary to Daniel, before turning to look at Dean.

“Jess is pregnant,” he said with a huff of laughter that also held tears.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean breathed, rising from his chair and crossing to pull Sam into as good a hug as he could without disturbing the infant in his arms. He hugged Jessica next, tightly, before standing back, stunned, as he watched his mother hug them as well. “Son of a bitch,” he whispered again, turning to Castiel. He leaned down to kiss Cas on the top of his hand, handing Daniel down to the Angel. “We need wine or something,” he announced.

“It’s eight a.m.” Sam laughed, wiping at his eyes.

Dean grinned widely at him, pulling a bottle of wine from the fridge.

“Yes, it is.” he exclaimed. “It is eight a.m., my baby brother is going to be a dad, and I am going to be an uncle.”

Sam and Jessica laughed at the comment, and Dean poured glasses for everyone. Jessica giggled as he handed her juice, but she held the glass up as everyone toasted their good fortune. All thoughts of exhaustion were forgotten by the joy of the news, and the family sat around the table for hours talking.

On Monday, Jessica went to the doctor for the official confirmation and came home with the news that was she five weeks pregnant and due in June, and there was a celebration like no other at the Winchester house. Joy gave way to a slight amount of shock and disbelief for Sam, and he and Dean sat together in the back yard discussing the new development.

“I’m going to be a dad,” Sam stressed for the eighth time since their conversation started. “I am going to be somebody’s dad.”

Dean chuckled.

“I’m somebody’s _dad_ ,” he pointed out. “Cas is somebody’s dad. We’re two somebodies dads, actually. So, it’s not too crazy to think that you’re going to be a dad.”

Sam shook his head.

“There’s going to be so many babies in this house...” he said in amazement. Dean nodded in agreement. That was the only thing that sounded overwhelming to him, but he could appreciate Sam’s position. If he had known he was going to have Mary before she arrived, he would have been a nervous wreck. Being a father, so far, was pretty easy. Becoming a father, now that was the daunting part. Those first weeks of Mary’s life, Dean felt the full spectrum of emotions that a human could feel, but the more he settled into life with his little girl, the easier it became. He was sure as she grew older that it would become hard again, but he felt surprisingly comfortable with the job right now.

“You know,” Dean told his brother. “You’re not... tied here or anything. Mine and Cas’s names are on the lease. We’re totally in a good place financially, so we got things covered here.”

Sam looked over at Dean, his expression slightly surprised and unsure. He didn’t respond right away.  
  
“Wow... that... that would be strange...” Sam admitted. Dean shrugged.

“Of course it will be strange,” Dean replied. “All this is strange. I go to sleep every night waiting to wake back up in hell. Or in whatever the hell that was we were living before. But no matter what our addresses are... nothing’s going to change.”

Sam took a deep breath, nodding. It felt like the older he got, it was harder to move away from Dean the way he did so easily in his teens.

“Not that were kicking you out or anything,” Dean clarified. “I just want... I just want the best for you and your family. ‘Cause you and me, we’re already family. Distance ain’t gonna change that.”

Sam nodded, taking a deep breath and leaning back in his chair. He smiled at his brother.

“I bet you and Cas would like to finally get the house to yourselves.”

Dean shook his head, sighing.

“Cas and I won’t have a house to ourselves for at least eighteen years.”

Sam smiled, thinking about the idea of having a home of his own with his wife and their child. They would all have more room, and they would get to make a nursery of their own. He may even be able to get a house with a study, and fill it will books on history and psychology and law. He could have a large screen TV in his living room, with a killer sounds system. And most importantly, maybe he could even get a dog.

“It’s worth considering...” he told Dean, lifting his beer to his lips and taking a sip. “I mean... worth looking in to...”

Dean smirked, nodding. As much as he was happy about the changes happening in his life, he sometimes felt he could use some stability, just to catch his breath. But he wasn’t going to complain. He take crying babies and endless diapers and little sleep over the life they were living on the road, any day. And now he would know that Sam was having an equal measure of happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dean,” Jimmy spoke with laughter in his tone. “I’m not giving you a hard time. It just makes me laugh when I think about the Castiel I first met being the one to beat out, I dunno, any number of woman that I’ve seen flirt with you.”  
> Dean rolled his eyes.  
> “I still think they’re awesome and all, but trust me when I say that Cas is literally everything I need. Want or need.”  
> Jimmy leaned back in his chair.  
> “I guess I have a hard time imaging that since... I used to be Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty much nothing but smut and silliness. I hope y'all enjoy. There is one more chapter and then a time jump. :)

Three days before Bobby and Mary were due to return to South Dakota, they agreed to watch the babies while Sam was at work and Jessica was at school so Dean could take Cas looking for cars. The Angel walked quietly around behind his husband as Dean grilled the salesman on the specification of the cars and especially the safety features. Dean was not happy with any of the vehicles on the lots, all of them having too many modern computerized features that he wasn’t sure he wanted Cas to have to mess with - not to mention that he wanted Cas to have a car Dean could fix himself if he needed to. But after four new and two used car lots, Dean paid cash for a 2004 Subaru. It had all of the modern safety features but none of the computer parts that would be impossible to fix. He had a warm giddiness that was twofold: on one hand, he knew that he just purchased his husband one of the safest vehicles on the road; and two, he paid cash for it.

Dean handed the keys to Cas, giving him a smile.

“Now you gotta follow me home,” he watched the Angel frown down at the keys in his palm. Dean sighed. “Please do not make me explain again why I’m not buying you a 1978 Lincoln pimp-mobile.”

“It was comfortable.” Cas grumbled in reply. Dean pulled him in for a quick kiss on the cheek before walking on to the Impala. Cas followed him to their local fire department to have their car seats properly installed in the Subaru. Dean was grateful that the firemen didn’t seem to judge him and Cas, and he actually had a twenty minute conversation with the Chief about the Impala. Cas waited patiently as they looked under the hood and discussed all of the work Dean had put into her.

When they pulled up in front of the house, they weren’t even to the door when the fragile, wracking cries of a newborn could be heard. Castiel felt a tightness in his chest, his breath catching just a little in his throat as he waited for Dean to open the door.

Bobby was sitting on the sofa with little Mary on his lap while Mrs. Winchester paced the living room floor with her grandson resting on her shoulder. Daniel was wailing mournfully, his tiny body shaking with discomfort. Mary looked relieved when she saw her son.

“What happened?” Dean asked, taking the baby from his mother’s arms and holding him against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the baby’s temple, but Daniel continued to wail. Mary sighed, rubbing the baby’s back as she spoke.

“After his nap, he had a little bit of a messy diaper and I couldn’t get away without giving him a bath. He hasn’t calmed down since.” she said with a sigh. “I thought a bottle might help, but he wouldn’t drink it. He’s too upset.”

Dean shushed the baby softly, trying to calm him, but to no avail. Little Mary was bouncing in Bobby’s arms, saying “bee-bee” over and over again in a tiny, sad voice.

“It’s alright, pigeon,” Bobby told her when she started to whine. “Come on, let’s go play with the bubbles outside, hm?”

Dean gave Bobby a grateful look, as his daughter seemed quite cheered at the thought of bubbles. Castiel moved to his husband’s side, gently taking the baby from his arms. Daniel was still shaking, his cries loud and pitiable. Cas cradled the baby in the crook of his arm while unbuttoning the top three buttons of his shirt, moving his son so he could rest his cheek against the exposed skin of Castiel’s chest. Daniel wasn’t thirty seconds laying against the warmth of his father’s body, hearing the thud of his heart, before he began to settle. Both Dean and Mary sighed with relief.

“I’ll take him up and feed him,” Castiel spoke, taking the bottle from his mother-in-law. “Thank you, mom. I’m sorry he was inconsolable.”

Mary smiled, patting Castiel’s arm.

“No problem, sweetheart,” she replied. “He just wanted his daddy. There's nothing I could have done for him.”

Dean kissed his mother on the cheek before following Cas upstairs to their bedroom. Castiel stopped inside the door, turning to the hunter.

“Could you please help me take my shoes off?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, kneeling and untying Cas’s shoes before pulling them off. The Angel moved to the bedside and propped the pillow up against the headboard so he could recline. Dean settled on the bed at his side, reaching over and unbutton the rest of the buttons on Cas’s shirt so Daniel still had contact with the Angel’s skin when he was once again tucked down in his father’s arm. Dean settled in at Cas’s side, watching the baby nurse from his bottle. They were quiet for several long moments before Castiel spoke.  
  
“I... I miss him being a part of my body,” he said quietly, leaning down to brush a kiss across the child’s smooth forehead. “I know that it probably isn’t a very masculine concept, but carrying our child has been one of the most beautiful and meaningful parts of being human thus far.”

“I wouldn’t say that’s exactly a part of the human experience,” Dean laughed. Castiel turned to him.

“It is for a female.” he pointed out. “I believe that it is unfortunate for men that they don’t get to know the beauty growing a life inside of you.”

Dean nodded. He had to agree with Cas there; he wished that he could remember Mary being a part of him. Even as a man, he was proud to know that his daughter was brought to life inside of his consciousness. He wouldn’t have it any other way. And if he were being truly honest with himself, he was a little jealous of the experience Castiel had - even if he knew he couldn’t do it himself.

Dean moved closer to the Angel’s side, laying his head against Castiel’s shoulder, looking down at the beautiful baby resting on the other’s chest. He felt happy, so he pushed all other thoughts to the back of his mind.

When the baby was done eating and had fallen to sleep, Cas rose from the bed, holding the infant carefully in his arms and placing him on the bed to change his diaper. Once Daniel was comfortable and dry, Cas lay him in the cradle to nap, tucking a soft cotton blanket around him. When he crossed into the bathroom to wash his hands, Dean followed, slipping his arms around the Angel’s waist.

Castiel smiled when Dean kissed his neck and warm hands slid up his bare torso where his still unbuttoned shirt left so much exposed skin for Dean to explore.

“I love you,”

The words were murmured against the back of his neck, and Castiel closed his eyes, relaxing back into Dean’s strong arms.

“I love you too, Dean,” he replied, turning in the hunter’s embrace. Dean smiled.

“These last several weeks have been crazy busy, hm?” he asked. “Busy and exhausting.”

Castiel smiled.

“I miss sex too, Dean,” he replied, amused. Dean chuckled, leaning in to kiss Cas deeply. The Angel slipped his arms around his husband’s neck, enjoying the sensation of sweet, gentle kisses. But the more the affection was returned, the kissing became deep and warm and wet. Dean cupped the back of Castiel’s head, pressing him back against the sink as he ravaged the Angel’s mouth. Castiel couldn’t help but press back against Dean, who was grinding their hips together in a desperate attempt for friction. “Dean,” Castiel gasped, pulling away. The hunter turned his attention to the Angel’s throat. “Dean we... will we be missed downstairs?”

“I’ll be quick,” Dean insisted, his mouth open and hot against Castiel’s neck. “I want you so bad.”

Cas groaned, uncertainty welling up in him. It was hard to concentrate on what he wanted when Dean was so handsome, smelled so good, and his lips were so tempting.

“If you... don’t want to,” Dean spoke hesitantly, pulling back. “You can say so. I don’t want to pressure you...”

Castiel looked conflicted.

“I... do want to,” Castiel replied, his expression torn. Dean grinned.

“It will be fun,” he assured, leaning in and kissing away the Angel’s indecision. Castiel tightened his arms around Dean’s neck and continued to submit to the hunter’s kisses. Just as Dean began to unbutton the Angel’s pants, his hands slowed and he slipped his arms back around Castiel’s waist. Castiel pulled back, slightly confused.

“Dean?” he asked. Dean brought a hand up, gently caressing his husband’s cheek.

“Sorry babe,” he spoke with a shy sort of smile, “I didn’t mean to be so... insistent.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“It’s understandable,” he said. “You are quite aroused.” Dean gave a small huff of laughter as Castiel continued to run his hands over Dean’s arms. “I should probably disclose that I am also quite aroused. So, I would really be,” he kissed Dean’s lips. “amenable to intercourse, if that is what you are suggesting.”

Dean gave a sheepish grin, shrugging slightly. Castiel’s expression grew concerned.

“...have you changed your mind?” he asked. “Why have you changed your mind?”

“I haven’t changed my mind, baby,” Dean admitted.

“Then...” Castiel thought about the words for a moment, before he finally asked. “Then why don’t you want me?”

Dean made a pained sound, leaning in and crushing his mouth to Castiel’s again.

“Oh, I want you,” Dean almost growled, his hands gripping the flesh of Cas’s backside and pulling him closer. “I want you... so badly.” Castiel was nearly breathless when he replied.

“Then we’re in agreement.”

Dean leaned in, kissing his husband hard on the mouth.

“Clothes off,” he ordered, reaching back and pushing the door shut. Castiel complied, pulling his shirt off and tossing it over the empty towel bar before pushing his khaki’s down his legs and stepping out of them. Dean slapped the lid of the toilet closed, and only getting his pants down to his knees before sitting and pulling Cas into his lap. Castiel made a startled sound, but his surprise was quickly forgotten as Dean resumed kissing him passionately.

Castiel was making deliciously desperate sounds of impatience and Dean reached out and opened the vanity drawer, grabbing the spare tube of lubricant and pouring a small measure into his palm, spreading it over his erection. Cas didn’t need instruction, tilting his hips so Dean could brush the remaining slick gel across his opening. The Angel groaned, his eyes closing at the satisfying sensation of Dean’s firm, yet gentle bid for entrance, and a breathy sigh escaped him when he felt his body give in. Neither had much patience for foreplay, so when Dean was satisfied that Castiel was relaxed enough, he urged the Angel forward. Cas pushed himself up, letting Dean center himself beneath. Both groaned from the pleasure of finally connecting.  
  
“Oh god, baby,” Dean moaned against the Angel’s neck, enjoying the sensation of Castiel raising and lowering himself on Dean’s shaft. “Like that.. . oh yeah, just yeah...”

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, burying his face against the hunter’s throat as he moved. Dean had his hand’s on the Angel’s hips, encouraging his movements, the rise and fall of the other man’s body exactly scratching the itch he had; quick, desperate, and a little dirty. He could feel the exact moment Castiel found the perfect angle that lit him up like supernova, and the Angel made a pained sound as he began to rock against Dean as he chased the impending swell of his orgasm. Watching his husband take his pleasure was more arousing to Dean than a quickie in the middle of the day, and he clutched Castiel to him, stilling the Angel’s movement as he spilled his release inside him.

Castiel was breathing heavily, waiting for the warm pulses of Dean’s thick shaft to subside before he began to move again. Dean’s hands were on his ass, pulling him close as Cas once against sought the angle, the pressure, and the rhythm that suited him best. Dean pressed warm kisses to his husband’s throat, looking up at Cas’s beautiful face, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted, lost to the sensation of Dean’s shaft rubbing him deep.

“Dean,” he gasped, pressing his forehead against the hunter’s shoulder as his hips stuttered. “...Dean...”

Dean slid his hand around, rubbing soft circles into the Angel’s lower back.

“What do you need, babe?”

Castiel shook his head, continuing to rock against the hunter until his body stilled, and he shuddered. Dean felt the warmth spill across his abdomen in two intense waves and then Castiel was lax in his arms. Dean held him tightly, pressing kisses into the Angel’s bare shoulder. When Cas attempted to pull away, Dean stalled him.

“Hold on, babe,” he said with a slight laugh. “This could get messy....”

Castiel watched his husband reach across the vanity and grab the hand towel. He used it to wipe down his and Cas’s stomach first before folding it in half.

“Alright,” he said. “ease up.”

Slowly, Cas stood, disengaging himself from Dean, and the hunter gently cleaned up the mess. Cas hummed happily, kissing Dean and settling back in his lap. Dean tossed the towel in the tub, slipping his arms around Cas and pulling him closer. They kissed deeply a few moments, Dean softly stroking the Angel’s back while Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. Cas leaned back, curiously watching his husband before he spoke.

“Why did you change your mind?” he asked. Dean shook his head, as if the question was crazy, but Castiel’s eyes narrowed and he waited

“I just... we’re going to be missed downstairs, you said so yourself.” Dean replied. Castiel’s brow furrowed.

“Why can’t you be truthful with me?” he asked. The question made Dean’s heart still for a couple beats. “Why can’t you just tell me what’s on your mind? Is... is this shameful? What we just did?”

“Gah, no buddy,” Dean insisted, pulling Castiel closer.

“Than what?”

Dean was quiet for a moment before he answered.

“I love you, Cas,” he began, not looking at the Angel’s face, but focusing on his neck instead. “And I ... I respect you. Having... having quick sex in the bathroom just seems... a little... disrespectful... like something I ... I would have done... before.” he sighed. “I care too much about you.”

Castiel smiled softly, bringing his hands to Dean’s face. He kissed the hunter gently on the mouth.

“Dean,” he sighed. “Everything we do together is beautiful. And there shouldn’t be things that you have done with someone else that you wouldn’t do with me. I’m your husband.” he paused a moment before adding. “If there was something you considered ‘disrespectful’, but I desired it, would you deny me?”

“Oh, hell no,” Dean insisted. “I’d get freaky as all-get-out for you.”

Castiel gave a laugh that sounded just a little exasperated.

“Dean,” he said, a slight plea in his tone. “If there are things you desire, I want you to tell me. I’m not versed enough in sexual activity to make suggestions yet. I want you to be fulfilled. I don’t want... you to desire for something I can’t give you. And the only way I would deny you something is because I was ignorant to your desire. Dean,” Castiel pressed in close to the hunter, grinding their bodies together, tightening his arms around Dean’s neck. “I want to do everything with you.”

“Oh baby,” Dean groaned before crushing his lips to Castiel’s. They grasped at each other desperately, a frenzy of sexual desire burning brightly between them once again. Foreplay was short lived, before Dean once again slicked himself up and pushed himself into the ready warmth of Castiel’s body. After a few minutes of enthusiastic thrusting, Dean took pity on the toilet seat’s hinges and finished taking Castiel up against the wall. His arms were sore, but it was worth it for the feel of the Angel’s legs around him and the desperate, breathy moans his husband pressed against his neck.

A shower was definitely in order after, and Dean checked on the baby before joining Cas under the cool spray. In an effort to keep themselves in check, they didn’t kiss again before heading back downstairs. Dean blushed when Mary gave him a slightly knowing smile, but Castiel appeared oblivious.

The Novak’s came by in late afternoon for their newly established routine of sharing Friday night supper, as they alternated weekly between each other’s houses. Little Mary looked up from her activity table, a wide smile on her face as she watched the new arrivals file in.

“Papa!” she shouted, holding out her arms to Jimmy. He lifted her up, peppering her with kisses.

“Hey, beautiful,” Jimmy cooed, rubbing his nose against the baby’s. “When are you going to call me Uncle Jimmy?”

Castiel came to the man’s side, gaining his daughter’s attention.

“This isn’t your papa, Mary,” he explained as she watched him with wide eyes. “It’s Jimmy. Dean is your papa.”

“I’m a little hurt,” Dean laughed, taking little Caden from Amelia’s arms and settling onto the sofa with him. “She doesn’t call anyone ‘dada’ now but you Cas. Jimmy and I share an endearment.”

“I doubt she sees it that way, Dean,” Castiel replied. “I think she doesn’t call both Jimmy and I ‘dada’ because she now knows that our appearance does not make us one entity. It’s her way of differentiating between the two of us, but she isn’t old enough to understand that she only has two fathers.”

Jimmy chuckled, setting down on the sofa beside Dean. Dean reached out and touched his daughter’s cheek.

“Mare,” he spoke softly. “Can you say ‘Jimmy’? ‘Jim-mee’?”

Mary watched his mouth as he spoke, her own mouth moving slowly as she thought about the sounds. Hesitantly, she spoke.

“Ji... ji..” she looked up at her uncle, exclaiming happily. “Jiji!”

“I’ll take it,” Jimmy laughed. Castiel nodded, agreeing with the change. That is, until Mary shouted again, happily as she bounced where she stood on Jimmy’s leg.

“Papa jiji!!”

The room exploded in laughter, and after being thoroughly entertained by Mary’s antics, the group gathered in the living room to chat and catch up from the week. It was an easy, casual evening with lots of talk and laughter. After dinner, Jimmy and Dean sat on the back porch enjoying a beer while Sam took full advantage of having all of the babies to himself.

They sat in companionable silence for several minutes before Jimmy spoke.

“Funny story,” he began, taking a drink from his beer. “I went into the office a couple days ago to turn in some paperwork, and Chelsea from HR says ‘Hey, how’s Dean?’,” Dean grinned, giving a nod before taking a drink of his own. Jimmy continued. “And I said ‘oh, he’s fine’. And then she said ‘How’s the new baby?’. So, I told her how he was doing and that he was healthy and cute and all that. We chatted for a couple minutes and then she says - punchline - ‘You are so lucky to have landed such a hunky, sweet guy like Dean.”

Dean almost spat out the mouthful of beer he had, and both chuckled over the comment.

“So, she thought I was Cas,” Jimmy concluded needlessly. Dean shook his head.

“No offense, Jim, but you and Cas don’t look anything alike.”

Jimmy was the one to smirk this time.

“You think?” he asked. “Because I drove that meat suit around for over thirty years. I think I know it pretty well.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth quirked up and he tipped his bottle toward the other man.

“I can guarantee you, in the last year, I know that body a whole lot better.”

It was Jimmy’s turn to choke on his drink and they both chuckled again. He shook his head, looking back over his shoulder through the sliding glass door into the kitchen where Castiel stood with Amelia, the two of scrutinizing the nutritional information on the back of the baby formula canister. He turned back to Dean, an eyebrow raised.

“Can I... ask you a question?” he said, hesitantly. Dean sighed, shrugging.

“Shoot.”

Jimmy was quiet a moment, as if formulating the most delicate way to phrase his question.

“Are you... still attracted to women?”

Dean grimaced, taken aback. That wasn’t exactly where he thought this conversation was going.

“Uh, yeah,” he admitted. “I still notice hot girls. But...” he sighed, shaking his head. “I just realized that I also, ya know, notice hot guys…” Dean rubbed a hand over his neck. “But, Cas is it for me. He is... it.”

Jimmy smiled, watching the pale blush rise to Dean’s face. Jimmy scooted his chair closer.

“Dean,” he spoke with laughter in his tone. “I’m not giving you a hard time. It just makes me laugh when I think about the Castiel I first met being the one to beat out, I dunno, any number of woman that I’ve seen flirt with you.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“I still think they’re awesome and all, but trust me when I say that Cas is literally everything I need. Want or need.”

Jimmy leaned back in his chair.

“I guess I have a hard time imaging that since... I used to be Cas.”

“Aw, you’re’alright.” Dean smiled, giving a wink and drinking the last gulp from his bottle. Jimmy chuckled. Dean was thoughtful a moment before he spoke again. “I suppose it’s like seeing a movie star or, hell, a porn star - all dolled up, big breasts and big hair and red lips - and yeah, she looks hot and it makes things a little tight down south, but you wouldn’t trade that for the honest, natural beauty of your wife, would you?” he asked. “You wouldn’t want her to think she’s too plain, or not as curvy?”

“Doesn’t stop her from thinking it,” Jimmy sighed. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Really? No offense, but Amelia is hot.”

“Right?” Jimmy agreed. He got a faraway look in his eye as he continued. “I remember the first time I saw her. She was wearing this knee length tan colored skirt and a pink blouse. She wore her hair long back then, but it was pinned back on one side. We were in Mrs. McMichael’s 4th hour English lit. Ugh... she was so smart. And I would just watch her when she would discuss Keats, and Melville, and Hemingway....”

Dean smirked.

“And you never once thought ‘I wonder what if it’d be like if I did Susie Somebody-else’?” he asked.

“Never,” Jimmy said resolutely. “She’s the only woman I’ve ever been with or even wanted to be with. And,” he looked back over his shoulder into the house, but Cas and Amelia were now back in the living room with the rest of the family. “In my fourth year at the radio station, there was this girl in marketing.” Dean’s brows rose and he leaned on his arm to close the distance between them. “I just thought she was really nice at first, you know, always bringing me coffee and offering to go get lunch for the group. I mean, I worked for Christian radio for god’s sake. Well, after about four months, she wrote me this two page letter about how she wanted to... well, do things.”

“Like what?” Dean grinned. Jimmy appeared uncomfortable with the subject, which made Dean chuckle a bit.

“Like... run her fingers through my hair and make love in front of a fireplace, that sort of stuff....”

“Ah, christian radio,” Dean laughed, “Had it been FM, should would have told you she wanted to suck your soul out of your dick and then fuck you senseless.” he laughed at Jimmy’s blush. “What’d you do?”

“I gave the letter back. Told her I was a happily married man... she transferred to another station a couple months later.”

“Wow,” Dean said. “James Novak, breaking hearts all over Pontiac.”

“Shut up,” Jimmy replied, reaching out to push Dean’s leg with his foot. “It was one girl, a hundred years ago. I don’t even want to think about the offers Ames has probably had. And I’m sure it’s nothing compared to your life.”

“Well, I can’t blame you for not wanting to think about all of the skeeves that gave a thought about your wife, but yes - my sex life blows yours out of the water, like, off the planet.” Jimmy laughed out loud, shaking his head at Dean’s incorrigible grin. But the hunter sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he continued. “You know, I’ve been with more women than I can count. I’ve been with twins, triplets, strippers, and models... and yeah, they are beautiful and great and everything... but Castiel... well, not that I’m complimenting you or anything, but his body... “ he leaned his head back on the patio chair, looking up into the darkening sky. “Not that you want to hear about that.”

Jimmy watched Dean a moment as he looked up into the sky above. Dean probably didn’t have any guy friends, and certainly no one he could talk to about Castiel, so Jimmy prompted him.

“Well, he’s got to be pretty special if he can complete with triplets. Triplets?”

“It’s a lot more exhausting than it sounds,” Dean replied, a slight smile on his face. “But... nothing compares to love. Maybe that’s a little lame. I mean, the tame stuff is so much better. “ he quirked an eyebrow at Jimmy as he added. “And if you and Cas are anything alike, you’d know what I mean.”

Jimmy blushed, giving a flustered sort of chuckle.

“That good, huh?” he asked. Dean sighed.

“Doesn’t even cover it. ... I know it may not seems like a big deal to you because, even though you’re like a brother to me, you haven’t known me a long time. You didn’t know me when I was pretty much nothing but a whore. And a bad one at that. But, now... the things I’d do for that man... and the things I won’t do, you know?” Jimmy smiled. “You know what’s funny?” Dean asked, the three beers he’d put away loosening his inhibitions slightly. “I was working on my old laptop a couple weeks ago, and I came across this porn vid that i’d saved, because it was kind of my favorites,” Jimmy chuckled.

“What kind?”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, a little self-consciously.

“Uh, I think it was called ‘Sorority Sisters Slumber party’ or something like that...”

“Ah, I see,” Jimmy smiled. “Go on,”

“Yeah, well, just to see if it still had that old magic, I watched a bit, and you know... I couldn’t help but compare them to Cas... I mean, those girls just all looked so artificial and made up and... skinny... I mean, Cas is all muscle and fight and strength and.... um... well...”

“Thank you,” Jimmy said, placing a hand on his stomach to calm his laughter. Dean grimaced.

“I don’t think of it like that.” he replied. “Like I said, you and Cas... not quite the same.”

“I’m just teasing.” Jimmy assured him. “I’m sure there are quite a few differences between me and Cas, I mean, he’s done a lot of fighting in my body, I’m sure he’s using muscles I never did. I’m just a runner. It would be weird if we were too similar.... is he ticklish?”

“Not that I’ve noticed... do you give amazing head?”

Jimmy was taking the last sip of his beer and ended up spitting it across the patio and snorting some up his nose. Dean laughed heartily at his expense. Both settled when the back door slid open and Mrs. Winchester leaned out.

“Would you boys like some coffee and pie?” she asked.

“Hells yes,” Dean spoke. “Please and thank you.”

“Coffee sounds great,” Jimmy agreed. Mary smiled at them.

“And an extra napkin?” she asked, amused.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jimmy replied sheepishly.

Dean chuckled obnoxiously, prompting Jimmy to hiss ‘shut up’. Mrs. Winchester returned shortly with two cups of coffee and a small plate of pie, kissing both men on the cheek before returning to the house. Jimmy grinned.

“Your mom is awesome,” he said before hesitantly taking a sip of coffee.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, slicing off a forkfull of pie. “It’s just...” his mind sort of blurred with the thoughts of how it would have been nice to get to be raised by her, to have lived a life in his mother’s home, with her love and hugs and comfort. He cleared his throat. “It’s nice to have her back.”

Jimmy was quiet a moment before he made a sound of agreement. There was another moment of silence before the older man spoke, waiting to speak until Dean had a mouthful of coffee.

“I never learned to give head.”

The coffee sprayed from Dean’s mouth and ran down his chin, but the hunter laughed heartily. Jimmy handed him one of his extra napkins.

“You bastard,” Dean laughed. Jimmy shrugged, cupping his hands around his coffee mug.

“Well, I don’t remember Cas getting any practice in when we were rooming together, and I doubt that information comes standard in an Angel...”  
  
Dean nodded in agreement, using the napkin to wipe his chin and the front of his shirt.

“Well, I know Cas didn’t do anything inappropriate while that was your vehicle,” he replied. “... I mean, he learned like anyone does...” he couldn’t help but grin as he finished. “Practice makes perfect, you know?” he sobered a moment, not wanted to make it seem as if Cas were somehow there for only his pleasure. “I mean... when you love someone, you try your best... we just try our best. ... And you know, it ain’t that much different that anything else between two people, and I got a hellova lot of experience.”

Jimmy had a raised eyebrow, looking slightly incredulous. Dean took a deep breath and leaned back.

“Think about it,” he said. “Who knows a man’s junk better than a man, hm? And there is not one thing you wouldn’t do to please your wife, you can’t tell me otherwise.” Jimmy blushed and shrugged, leaning onto the tabled. Dean scooted his chair closer, leaning onto the table beside him. “I mean hell, when I think about what I’ve done for strangers... going down on a guy isn’t the worst thing I’ve done. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna say that it’s one of the better things I’ve done, not gonna lie... no shame.”

“I’m beginning to think you’re a sex savant.” Jimmy told him. Dean grinned broadly.

“I like the sound of that,” he admitted. “But, honestly, it’s some trial and error and whole lotta attention to detail. And thankfully, some things are universal. I mean, I know what I like. With Cas, I just started from there.”

“So how did you learn with strange women?” Jimmy asked. “It’s hard enough with someone you trust.” Dean ran a hand through his hair.

“Well, that was a bit of guess work at the beginning, a whole lot of enthusiasm, and some refining the technique.” he looked to the other man, “It had to be easy for you two. I mean, no comparison, right? God, that’s how I feel about Cas sometimes. I mean, I’m glad...uh...” he laughed. “It must have been a while since I’ve drank if three beers has unhinged my tongue this much...”

“I stood up at your wedding, Dean,” Jimmy reminded him. “And you have two kids together. I don’t think it’s a secret that you two like each other.”

“Yeah, but...” Dean shook his head. “I don’t even talk to my brother about this kind of stuff...”

“I don’t have a brother,” Jimmy commented. “But, everyone needs someone to talk to. About everything. It’s how we decompress. I mean, as much as you may think it’s weird, even you need to be able to tell someone that your husband is amazing in bed.”

Dean laughed, giving a nod of agreement.

“True... I guess that’s all true.” he took a long drink of his coffee. “... what do you need talk about, brother?”

Jimmy and Dean sat on the back porch for another half an hour, sharing some conversation that only brothers could. It made Dean feel important to be so loved and respected by someone, not only older than he was, but who Dean felt he owed his entire life to. Afterward, they returned to the house, joining in with the group who was still fawning over the three members of their next generation. Dean squeezed onto the sofa next to Castiel, leaning in to press a kiss to the Angel’s cheek. Cas turned to him, surprised by the public display, but the look of joy on his face showed his gratitude for it.

After the sun set and the oldest of the three babies became cranky and tired, the Novaks said their goodnights. Castiel watched with interest at the way Dean and Jimmy embraced each other by the car before Dean sent them on their way. He waited until they were in their room getting ready for bed before bringing it up.

“Jimmy is quite attached to you,” he commented, sitting crosslegged on the bed and watching Dean finish cleaning up for night. Dean turned off the bathroom light and walked into the room. Castiel took a moment to admire the natural swagger in his husband’s bow-legged walk. Dean was looking amused and slightly puzzled.

“Attached?” he asked, stopping by the cradle and kneeling down to check on his son. He joined Cas in bed once he was satisfied that little Daniel was peacefully asleep.

“Yes, attached.” Cas replied. “I can’t fault him. You have a way about you that endears people to you. Jimmy thinks of you as a sibling. A trusted friend. I feel the same,” he gave a sideways tilt of his head. “Well, not exactly. I am romantically attached to you. Intimately attached.”

Dean grinned, leaning in to plant a firm kiss on the side of the Angel’s throat.

“Mmm... good.” he replied. “’Cause you’re all I’m concerned about.”

Castiel made a small hum of happiness, tilting his head to allow Dean to continue.

“Dean,” he said quietly, earning a ‘hm’ in response. “I’ve been thinking of our encounter this afternoon...”

Dean paused, pulling away from the Angel.

“And?”

“And it occurred to me that you only appear to be uneasy with an unusual task if you believe you are the one who initiated it. So,” he leaned over, pulling something from within the bedside table drawer. “I realized that this deck of cards is more perfect than I could have imagined. They are a neutral third party. Neither you nor I will be responsible for the act in question, so there should be no judgment.”

“Cas,” Dean sighed, watching his husband shuffled the cards. Cas spread them out and held them for Dean’s selection.

“Pick a card, Dean.” he said, seriously.

Dean grinned, taking a card from near the center and reading it.

“Tell your partner something that you’ve been thinking about them all day,” he read aloud. He looked to Cas. “That I think you’ve made me the happiest man alive,” he said, leaning over to kiss the Angel. “And that your ass is amazing.” Castiel blushed, but smiled, obviously pleased with both sentiments. Dean took the cards from his hands. “Now you,” he prompted, shuffling the deck like he was about to deal a hand of poker, fanning the cards out for Cas. Castiel scrutinized the cards for a moment, his fingers hovering over them before taking one just slightly right of the center. Dean raised an eyebrow as he waited for Cas to read.

“Enjoy a sexy ‘adult’ movie with your partner.” he read. Dean grimaced.

“We don’t have any sexy adult movies,” he replied. Castiel gave him a slightly patronizing look.

“Dean Winchester, you do not honestly expect me to believe that you don’t have quick access to pornography?” he said. “I’ve known you for too many years.”

Dean frowned, watching Castiel for a moment. The Angel didn’t look swayed.

“How the hell do you know ‘sexy adult movie’ translates to porn,” he grumbled, rising from the bed and pulling his laptop out of the closet. He snapped off the overhead light on his way back to the bed, letting their bedside lamps be sufficient light. Castiel pulled back the covers and settled beneath them, arranging the pillows behind them for support. Dean shook his head. “I don’t know about this, Cas,”

“It’s a neutral third party suggestion,” Castiel told him. “Maybe we will enjoy it. I’ve never viewed pornography before.”

Dean frowned, booting up the machine. As an afterthought, he pulled a pair of earbuds from the side table and plugged them in, handing the left side to Cas.

“Just in case,” he told the Angel.  
  
Cas waited patiently for Dean to log on, then access the internet. Dean’s mind was racing with what would be the lesser of all evils in this scenario. He didn’t know if there was such a thing as ‘tame’ porn - he’d never even attempted to search for that. His hands hovered over the keys for a moment before he typed in the name of a site that had dozens of categories, hoping he could find one that would be suitable. Castiel leaned forward, reading the page with interest.

“There are a lot of naked people on this...” he observed. Dean grimaced.

“That’s sort of the idea,” he replied. He was almost 100 percent sure he wouldn’t be able to get it up while watching porn with Castiel. He skimmed the page, looking for an idea.

“I thought it was illegal to sexualize school-age females,” Cas spoke with disapproval in his tone. Dean’s eyes fell to the section for ‘teen’ movies, and he shook his head.

“They’re not young enough for it to be criminal,” Dean explained. “And they just dress like they are in school so it... it’s more taboo, I suppose.”

Castiel turned to him, his expression slightly confused.

“So, it is a fantasy? To sexually exploit a young woman at the earliest point and not face societal and criminal repercussions?” he asked. Dean’s grimace deepened.

“I... I guess. But, I guarantee that’s not the way they’re marketing it.”

“It appears to be exactly the way they are marketing it,” Cas replied. “Have you ever watched any of these?”

Dean made a scoffing sound, but didn’t reply. He was hoping Cas would take it as a ‘no’.

“What interests you, Cas?” he asked instead. The Angel shrugged.

“I’ve never partaken, so I’m not sure.” he answered. “The point is to observe until you are sexually aroused, correct? I suppose we should watch something that is sexually stimulating to us both. I like kissing you. Are there any videos of people kissing?”

Dean almost deflated from his sigh of relief. He moved his cursor to the search bar and typed in ‘kissing’. Unfortunately, all of the suggested videos appeared to be girl on girl with very little kissing on the mouth. He wouldn’t have been opposed if this was a solo activity, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to throw Cas into the deep end his first night out. Dean sighed again, trying to refine the search with the word ‘intimate’. Another dud.

“Why aren’t there any men?” Castiel asked, peering at the tiny square preview pictures. “It is preferable to view homosexual activity between females?”

“Some guys get a kick out of it, yeah,” Dean replied. “You, uh, ... you want to watch guys?” he asked. Castiel looked up at him, his blue eyes seeming more blue with the reflected of the glow from the monitor.

“I want to watch something that translates to what we would do,” he answered. “Is that... wrong?”

“No!” Dean said, shaking his head. He turned back to his computer, hands on the keyboard and typing in the word ‘gay’ for the first time since he needed some how-to and extra encouragement before he made the first attempt with Cas. The preview pictures changed and Dean almost groaned. “Look, baby,” he said, turning to the Angel at his side. “Porn isn’t realistic. It’s... over the top and sometimes a little extreme.”

“But, isn’t pornography based off what most people find sexually stimulating?” Castiel asked. “It’s basic economics - supply and demand.”

Dean spluttered for a minute, not sure how he wanted to explain ‘sexually stimulating’ versus ‘kink’. He turned back to the search, refining the filter with the word ‘romantic’. He clicked on the first video that didn’t seem traumatizing. As the screen turned dark with the regulation and warning screen, Dean settle back, slipping an arm around his husband and, in spite of his reservations, felt happy when the Angel leaned in to him.

The video started with two dudes setting on a couch next to each other, answering some dumb ass personal questions like anyone watching would possibly care. Dean glanced down to Castiel, who was watching attentively. After a few minutes, the guys in the video began to kiss, stripping each other from their clothing, which didn’t take long considering they were both only wearing jeans. Dean frowned. It was weird, as much as he was in to Cas and he was becoming comfortable with the idea that the reason he was attracted to Cas went beyond their emotional connection, he still wasn’t comfortable with the idea of getting off to guy on guy porn. Maybe if he had been raised under less regimented circumstances and had felt the safety and freedom to learn who he really was, he wouldn’t squirming at the idea of watching gay porn with his husband. But, Castiel was still watching with a studious expression, his eyes going wide for a moment when one man began enthusiastically sucking the other man’s dick. Dean shifted uncomfortably. Both were silent.

Dean wasn’t finding either of the men particularly attractive, but it was easy to think about Cas in connection with the presentation, and he rested his hand on the Angel’s thigh. He wished the video was over, finding that he would rather be doing than observing. The taller of the two actors was currently on his knees getting taken to task by his partner, and Dean found that his body really was game even if his brain wasn’t so sure about things. After ten minutes of watching, with the men in the video having changed positions and acts nearly as many times, Castiel turned up to look at Dean. His brow was creased and his eyes narrow. Dean shut the video off.

“What?” he asked, reaching out and pushing a curling lock of hair behind the Angel’s ear.

“Am...” Castiel began hesitantly. He seemed to struggle for words before asking. “Do I bore you?”

“No!” Dean exclaimed, shutting the laptop and taking the earbud from Cas’s ear. “No, baby.” he put the computer on the floor so he could cup the Angel’s face in his hands.

“But I... I’m not doing it right,” Castiel appeared slightly beside himself with concern.

“Oh my god, Cas, really,” Dean spoke, exasperated. “You see less than fifteen minutes of bad porn and you think _you’re_ not doing it right?”

“But,” Castiel began again. “I... I’m much more... vocal, and I just lay there, and I never start by giving you oral sex in exchange...”

“Oh my god,” Dean said again, turning so he could look Castiel straight in the face. “First of all, you do not just lay there,” he almost laughed at the ridiculousness of the statement. “I mean, when you are the one... um...”

“Penetrating,” Castiel offered. Dean flushed.

“Yeah - do you think I just lay there?”

Castiel frowned, but he answered honestly.

“No. I enjoy pleasing you. And you are very engaging.”

“Well, same here baby,” Dean told him, brushing his fingertips over the Angel’s cheek. “And I love every sound you make. If you didn’t make a sound, I would wonder if I was doing my job,” Castiel blushed, and Dean leaned over and kissed him firmly on the lips. “Do not stop making the noises you make. Please, don’t change a thing.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel replied, bringing a hand up to cup the back of Dean’s head as the hunter continued to lay soft kisses on his throat. “I just want to please you.”

“Oh baby,” Dean murmured, pressing Castiel back onto the bed. “You do. You do.” He captured the Angel’s mouth, kissing him deeply. He’d been married to this man almost a year, he supposed it wasn’t fair for him to be reserved when he expected Castiel to be forthright. With slight hesitation, he leaned up and looked down upon his Angel. Castiel looked back up at him. his blue eyes dark with desire. Dean smiled at him. “You’ve never left me wanting, babe.” he said. “You’ve never just waited for us to be in bed to show affection. But, I’m not gonna say there is such a thing as too much oral sex.”

Castiel smiled, and Dean could swear that the face his husband made was the most seductively sexy expression he’d ever seen in his life. In conjunction with the next words out of the Angel’s mouth, Dean felt all life in his body rush to his dick.

“I like having you in my mouth,” Castiel murmured deeply, rolling his hips up against Dean’s. Dean groaned, attacking Castiel’s mouth and ravishing him as his hands fought to pull the clothes from the other man’s body. As much as they were expecting a sexy, aggressive romp, both were laughing as they stripped each other from their few garments, and Castiel turned their position on the bed so he could kiss his way down Dean’s body. Dean was grinning like a fool, licking his lips in anticipation as Castiel looked up at him through thick, dark lashes. The Angel was taking his time, trailing his tongue along the taut lines of Dean’s muscles, pressing warm kisses into his skin, dragging his teeth over the hunter’s hipbone. Dean reached out to run a hand through Castiel’s disheveled, wavy hair, trying hard not to guide him further down, but the suspense was killing him.

Castiel grinned when he pressed a kiss to the inside of Dean’s thigh and heard the younger man groan. He tried not to think about the video they had watched and focused on the things that he knew Dean liked, because they were things Dean had done to him, and when he reciprocated, Dean seemed to enjoy it. Castiel rubbed his cheek affectionately against Dean’s thigh, enjoying the hand in his hair, as he slid his hand over the hunter’s shaft. Dean moaned softly, and the sound lowered to a groan as Cas began to draw his tongue over his husband’s scrotum, licking and sucking gently. Dean’s thighs relaxed further apart and Cas settled comfortably, working Dean’s shaft in and out of his mouth, humming with enthusiasm. Dean was breathing evenly, caressing Castiel’s hair, biting his lip as he watched the other man.

“Oh god, baby,” Dean groaned, gently thrusting back against the Angel’s beautiful, warm mouth. He kept trying to close his eyes, but he wanted to focus on the erotic sight of Cas’s mouth, his hollowed cheeks, his hand fisting the base of his shaft. The pressure built gradually, slowly, until with gasp of relief, Dean was cumming in a hot rush into Castiel’s mouth. He lay panting, a hand over his heart, enjoying the post orgasmic glow and the soft lapping of Castiel’s tongue. “Come up here, baby” Dean murmured, motioning the Angel higher. Castiel crawled slowly up his husband’s body, kissing his way to Dean’s throat before being pulled into a passionate kiss. Dean grinned at him. “You give me ten minutes, and I’m gonna rock your world,” he chuckled. Castiel smiled down at him, turning to look down at Dean’s returning erection.

“Five,” he said deeply, pressing kisses into Dean’s neck. “My handsome. Virile. Husband.”

Dean groaned, pulling Cas in tight and rolling them both over until the Angel was pinned beneath him. Castiel was laughing softly, running his hands through Dean’s hair as the younger man kissed and caressed him. It didn’t even take five minutes for Dean to be ready once again, and after getting lost in the act of edging Cas to the height of arousal, he pushed into his husband with satisfaction. They moved together lazily, enjoying each others bodies and letting their souls mingle in deep slides of the tongue and slow rolls of the hips. Dean was looking down into Castiel’s face, and they stared into each other’s eyes until Castiel’s breathing began to quicken.

“You’re so beautiful Cas,” Dean murmured. Castiel made a small whine in his throat, his hips twisting in an effort to get closer and shy away from the building pressure in his groin. “Relax baby,” Dean said softly, his hand sliding down to hold the Angel’s hip still as he began to concentrate the press of his shaft against Castiel’s prostate. Castiel made a sharp hiss, his thighs trembling. Dean continued to speak softly, leaning to lay gentle kisses on the Angel’s face. “Relax, Cas. Just because it’s over, doesn’t mean it’s over... come for me, baby...”

Cas’s eyes closed and he gasped, and Dean felt the hot, wetness against his belly. Dean kissed Castiel’s face, and his lips, continuing to gently move to sustain his husband’s climax before he reached his own release. Dean let out a heavy breath, collapsing at the Angel’s side and watching Cas take deep, measured breaths to recover himself.

“You’okay?” he asked quietly, brushing a hand through the other man’s hair. Castiel nodded, swallowing hard. Dean grabbed some tissues to clean them up before he spoke again. “Did that... hurt?”

Cas turned to him, a smile warming his face.

“No Dean, it didn’t hurt. It was... intense. We’ve had this conversation before.”

“I know, I know,” Dean replied, snuggling down into the bed beside his husband. “It’s just my worst fear that I’m hurting you and don’t know it.”  
  
“I’d tell you,” the Angel said. He took Dean’s arm, pulling it around him. “Now, hold me.” he demanded. Dean smiled, happy to pull the Angel in tightly and place warm, soft kisses against his neck and shoulder. Castiel hummed contentedly, before turning in to Dean’s embrace and letting Dean focus those kisses on his lips instead. They were both falling asleep, but kept needing to take just one last kiss, say one final ‘I love you’. When Castiel’s breathing became too even, Dean let his eyes fall closed and rested his head against the Angel’s hair.

This was heaven, he knew it. Right now, he was seeing heaven on earth.

~~~~~~~~


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean leaned down, kissing Castiel deeply.  
> “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he murmured, turning where he sat so he could press Cas back against the cushion. “I don’t even want to think about where I’d be without you. You’ve... you’ve given me so much.”  
> “I’d give you everything,” Castiel whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one for tonight, and possibly for a while. I do have some more, but there is a time jump after this chapter. I hope that you all still enjoy! :)

Dean woke up on the twentieth of October when the sun was still just beneath the horizon. He blinked, and enjoyed the satisfying stretch of his muscles as he spread out across the bed. His hand threaded into Castiel’s soft, wavy hair and the Angel moaned as he shifted, but didn’t wake. Dean blinked his eyes in the dim light, the empty baby bottle on the bedside table telling him that Cas had already been up once in the night, and he hated to wake him so early, but the urge to roll over and pull the other man into his arms was too strong. He sidled up behind the Angel, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a warm kiss to his husband’s neck.

“Happy anniversary, baby,” he murmured, smiling at the happy moan that Cas made in return. He pulled away slightly to give Castiel the space to roll onto his back. The Angel was smiling sleepily up at him, his blue eyes hooded with tired lids.

“Happy’nnversary,” he mumbled in return, bringing a hand up to stroke Dean’s cheek. Dean leaned over him, burying his face against the other man’s throat, nuzzling his neck before peppering his shoulder with kisses. Castiel slipped his arms around the hunter, holding him tight.

They were quiet a moment, just lying wrapped in each other’s arms. After a moment, Dean wondered if Cas has fallen back asleep, but he spoke anyway, his voice deep and low.

“You’re the best choice I ever made,” he said quietly. “I... I thank god for every day I have you in my life.”

Castiel’s grip on Dean tightened, and his rough voice whispered in reply.

“And I’m grateful that I’ve been allowed to live this life with you.”

Dean pushed himself up to look down at Castiel, before he leaned in to kiss him.

“ ‘Morning, baby,” he said, his smile returning. Castiel smiled as well, stretching underneath him. Dean made an appreciative moan, earning a chuckle from the Angel. “Is that for me?” Dean asked with a raised eyebrow, feeling the hard length of Castiel’s erection where it pressed against his belly. Castiel blushed, shaking his head.

“It’s a human biological response that I have no control over....” he replied. Dean grinned.

“Doesn’t mean it can’t be for me,” he answered, grinding against the man beneath him. Castiel gave a small groan.

“Because in two minutes it will go away and I’ll have to urinate.” Dean made an exaggerated sigh as he rolled back onto his side of the bed. As Castiel pulled himself up, he looked back at his husband. “The next one will be for you, I promise.”

Dean raised a celebratory fist into the air, earning another chuckle from the Angel as he crossed to the bathroom to empty his bladder. Dean pulled himself from the bed and followed, brushing his teeth and running a washcloth over his face and neck. Castiel cleaned up next, changing places with the hunter. And as the sun was still just beneath the horizon and not a sound could be heard from any child in the house, the couple crawled back into bed.

There were long moments of sweet whispers and tender kisses, and true to his word, Castiel took Dean slow and steady until the hunter was gasping with the overwhelming sensation of being massaged so intimate and deep.

“Fuck,” Dean grunted, pulling his knee higher up the Angel’s side and swore again when Castiel hooked his arm under the hunter’s knee, opening him further and allowing him to thrust deeper. “Fuck, oh fuck...”

“Is this okay, Dean?” Castiel asked, increasing his pace and making the younger man groan.

“Yes, oh god, yes,” Dean grunted, closing his hand over Castiel’s neck and pulling him down into a passionate kiss. After bringing Cas’s mouth to where he wanted it, Dean slid his hands down the Angel’s muscular torso and dug his fingers into the firm flesh of his glutes. Castiel laughed, breaking from Dean’s kiss and looking down on him with a smile.

“Yes, Dean?” he asked. Dean grinned, but was soon moaning as Castiel began to thrust harder, pulling almost completely away before driving back into him. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, a chant of curse words falling from his lips and ending with a gasp as he climaxed. Castiel let out a sigh, slowing his pace and shortening his strokes as he slipped his arms around his husband. Dean gave a groan of pleasure, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s neck and enjoyed the pulses of pleasure that were still radiating through him.

“God baby,” he whispered, stroking the back of Cas’s wavy hair. “You are amazing.” Castiel made a sound of acknowledgement, which brought a grin to the hunter’s face. “You need a hand?” he asked. Castiel shook his head, his deep voice almost a whisper as he murmured.

“I’m close...”

Dean kissed his temple, gently stroking the back of the Angel’s neck until he stilled, the warmth of his release spilling deep. The Angel gave a heavy sigh, turning his face back up to kiss Dean lazily before he pulled away. They held on to each other, softly touching and lightly kissing, Castiel pressed himself to Dean side, burning his face against the side of the hunter’s throat.

“Aww,” Dean spoke softly, pressing his lips to the top of the Angel’s head. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too,” came Castiel’s muffled reply. Dean smirked, hugging the Angel to him. He sighed, enjoying the moment. After a minute of quiet, he spoke.

“What’s your favorite part of being married so far?” he asked. Castiel leaned up, resting his arm on Dean’s chest and placing his chin on his arm.

“Well,” he began, pensively. Dean smiled at the serious way Cas considered the question. “I understand the union of marriage had the historical significance of being for more political and procreative reasons. Since our marriage has done nothing but harm us politically, and our procreation was a happy blessing that didn’t really have anything to do with our civil union since we conceived Mary before that,” Dean chuckled, pulling Cas in for a kiss. Castiel continued. “So, I suppose the best part of being married so far has been... you. Knowing you’re mine... and that you consider me yours.”

Dean’s smile softened and he leaned up to kiss Castiel again, slow and sweet.

“Same here,” he murmured, brushing his fingertips over Cas’s brow and down his cheek. He was quiet a moment, his eyes looking into Castiel’s. As he looked at the man above him, he couldn’t believe there was ever a day that he didn’t think he could be with him, that they wouldn’t be happy. Sure, he hadn’t really had a chance to explore the side of himself that was attracted to men, but this man? Hells yes. In every way imaginable. He curled his fingers around the base of Castiel’s skull and pulled him down for a slow, deep kiss. “I love you,” he spoke, as if he could never tire of saying it. Castiel smiled.

A small, mewling cry from the cradle drew their attention. Castiel’s smile widened and he pulled himself from Dean, reaching to the floor for his discarded sleep pants and pulling them on, making a quick stop in the bathroom to wash up. Dean leaned up on his elbow, watching the Angel cross to the baby and gently pick him up. Dean was smiling, watching his husband gently rock back and forth as the baby fell back to sleep. The hunter sighed, stretching out a bit before rising and grabbing his own pants from the floor. He kissed Cas on the cheek on his way to the bathroom.

Cas returned to set on the bed, cuddling the baby to his chest. Daniel was such a different baby than Mary so far, and Castiel was fascinated by the tiny human - the tiny human he grew inside of himself. Whereas Mary was pretty regular with her need for sustenance, Daniel would wake once in the night but could sleep well past Dean and Castiel. Cas decided to wait until Dean returned so they could all go down to the kitchen together, but when Dean emerged from the bathroom, he asked:

“Do you smell coffee?”

Castiel looked to the clock, seeing that it was only half past five and too early for anyone to be making coffee. Before he could comment, there was a soft knock on the door.

“Dean?” Sam whispered. “You awake?”

Dean smirked, tossing the bottle of lubricant back in the nightstand drawer and throwing the comforter up over the bed before opening the door, surprised to see his brother and sister-in-law on the other side, smiling broadly. Sam was carrying a tray laden with dishes and Jessica was carrying the laptop. Dean’s smirk broadened and he tried to look indignant.

“It’s the freaking-ass-crack of dawn, Sammy,” he said, leaning on the door. “What’s with the food?” Sam laughed.

“Well, Jessica and I tried to bring you both breakfast in bed on Father’s day,” he explained. “But Cas was up at 4:30 trying to walk the kinks out of his back and you weren’t far behind making him sit on the couch and watch old movies with you to take his mind off of it. So, Jess and I thought, we’ll just get them on their anniversary. Because once the baby comes, where the hell else are you two going to be but back in bed making another?”

Dean blushed and rolled his eyes, but Castiel answered dryly.

“We have a contraceptive sigil in place to prevent that happening,” he explained. “But, we were having sex, yes.”

The look of horror on Sam’s face was too priceless not to laugh at, and Dean chuckled until his brother recovered.

“Yeah, well.. .anyway,” Sam said, clearing his throat. “Happy anniversary.”

He carried the tray over to the bed and sat it in the middle, just next to Cas. Castiel smiled at the baby bottle that sat in the middle of the tray, ready for Daniel’s breakfast as well. His stomach grumbled at the sight and smell of the mushroom and cheese omelets, toast, and ham - not to mention orange juice and coffee.

“Thank you both,” the Angel spoke, picking up the coffee cup and taking a sip before taking the baby bottle and arranging Daniel in the crook of his arm. Jessica and Sam settled on the end of the bed and Dean dropped next to his husband, picking up a slice of toast and taking a bite before offering it to Castiel.

“So, aside from driving down to the city,” Jessica began. “What’s on your agenda for today?”

“Well,” Dean began, swallowing his next mouthful of egg. “Not much. We’re going to hit the road about nine. There’s a classic car museum in San Mateo that Cas is going to humor me in stopping at. Then we’re going to see the Golden Gate bridge and Alcatraz,” Castiel smiled fondly at how excited Dean seemed at seeing an antiquated prison. “We’ll probably have lunch there and check into the hotel around three. We have dinner reservations at six thirty, then we just thought we’d walk around the city for a while, see what’s up...”

“Like a date,” Castiel beamed, looking at his husband with affection. Dean grinned.

“And, uh, I may or may not have something special planned,” he finished, with a mischievous smile. Castiel tilted his head in question but didn’t speak, the look in his eyes clearly indicating that he was working out the puzzle. Jessica lay across the bed, pillowing herself on Sam’s thighs.

“How come you didn’t choose to go back to the hotel where you had your honeymoon?” she asked. “That would have been so romantic.”

“Because the didn’t have any surfaces there left to defile,” Sam guessed with a huff of amusement. Dean smirked, shaking his head.

“We knew we only had two days to be away, and we didn’t want to spend half of it driving. LA is four time the distance from San Fran, and we get to see Alcatraz.” He took a sip of coffee, shrugging a bit. “And San Francisco is a bit more... I dunno... relaxed...”

Both Jessica and Sam nodded silently in understanding, but Castiel spoke of the elephant in the room. He nodded solemnly.

“Yes, the city has a historical reputation for being tolerant, and people only see us as homosexuals.”

Dean choked on his coffee and sat up, wiping his face on a napkin. Jessica bit her lip to keep from laughing and Sam tried not to smile. Dean gave Cas a look that clearly told him he was being too blunt. Jessica spoke to change the mood.

“Sam and I would have watched the kids for more than two days, you know that.” she said. “Besides, you’re not even getting two whole days if you are leaving today and coming back tomorrow night.”

“It’s good,” Dean assured her. “Besides, we weren’t on our honeymoon a full twenty four hours before Cas was crying about missing Mary, so he’ll be out of his socks antsy to leave two at home.”

“I thought you wanted me to bond with our progeny,” Castiel replied blandly. “You harassed me quite a bit when Mary was first born.”

Dean chuckled, reaching out to brush the back of his knuckles against the Angel’s bare arm. It was apparent that he did the small show of affection without conscious thought, but Sam was acutely attuned to all of the little expressions and gestures that showed how truly happy his brother was, and that filled him with joy.

“Well, you’re a pro now,” Jessica told the Angel, reaching out to run her finger over the sole of Daniel’s tiny foot. The baby shuddered and pulled his limbs into his body, turning closer to the warmth of Castiel’s chest. Castiel smiled down at the baby, shifting him slightly to keep him interested in the bottle of formula and not falling back to sleep. “And it will give Sam and I some time to play house,” she added with a grin. “So maybe we will be ready when our little guy comes.” Sam’s smile widened as Jessica patted a hand to her belly.

“I think you’re already ready,” Castiel told her, making her smile brighter. “You are wonderfully kind and loving to our children. And you’ll have the biological advantage of being able to nurse your baby in the middle of the night without leaving the room.” he sighed, despite the others chuckling. “I hate having to make a hungry infant wait while I mix a bottle.”

“True,” Dean agreed. “But, it’s a small price to not being a milk factory,” the idea put a sour expression on the hunter’s face. Castiel turned to him.

“Is anything really too inconvenient for your child’s health and wellbeing?” he asked. Dean rolled his eyes.

“You would nurse sick kittens if you had the ability to,” Dean told him. Castiel looked as if he were pondering the idea, so Dean continued. “What’s with the laptop?” he asked. Sam and Jessica exchanged wide, conspiratorial grins before Sam spoke. He cleared his throat.

“It’s, ah, it’s our anniversary gift for you two - well,” he amended. “It’s mostly from Jess-”

“That’s not true,” Jessica insisted. “Sam helped a lot.”

“What is it?” Dean asked. Jessica sat up on her knees.

“Scoot back and sit next to Cas,” she instructed Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow, but did as was told, watching Sam open the laptop and make some selections. Jessica was grinning broadly as Sam sat the computer down between Dean and Cas, angling the screen so they had minimal glare. “I hope you like it,” Jessica told them. Sam moved to set by Dean’s knees and Jessica leaned to recline beside Cas. Dean made a puzzled expression, but was slightly amused by his brother and sister-in-law’s excitement.

The computer screen was black for a moment, and then there was the faint sound of interference with the microphone, and the image of being far too close to a piece of fabric filled the monitor. There was a moment of movement before the fabric was adjusted away from the lens and the room came into focus. It was Bobby’s living room, lit by the dim light of the TV. Castiel and Dean were sitting on the old hunter’s worn, plaid colored sofa, hip to hip. Dean had his arm across the back of the sofa, his hand absently stroking the Angel’s hair. Castiel was holding tiny newborn Mary stiffly in his arms. It was obvious they were being filmed on the sly.

Sam’s voice could be heard whispering to the camera’s mic.

“I think my brother has finally found ‘the one’...”

Dean felt his jaw tighten, and he smiled in spite of himself. He turned to his Angel, watching Cas’s eyes narrow as he watched the video. After the small moment in the living room, the screen faded back to black before a soft piano instrumental love song started. The screen returned to life with a slideshow of pictures of Dean and Castiel before they were together, just moments in time that neither even realized had been captured on film - seeing as their lives hadn’t really been the joyous Kodak moments at that point. Dean felt himself blush when he noticed that the pictures of him and Cas always had Castiel staring at him like he’d hung the moon. He was about to self-consciously call him out on the creeper behavior, when he noticed there were several of him doing the same right back. Damn; how hadn’t he noticed that he’d been in love so long?

Castiel sat forward, holding the baby tightly, but trying to get a better view of the video. After the pictures of them before they were officially together, there were several of them with Mary when she was newborn, along with video clips of the two and their child. Oddly enough, they both looked younger - exhausted - but happy. After a few more moments of montage, the music died down and there was a video once again. Dean could tell immediately that the man on camera was Jimmy, but when the lens zoomed out, he was standing at Castiel’s side, the Angel’s back to the camera. It panned further, and Dean and Sam were in frame as well.

“Our wedding day,” Castiel said, surprised, turning to Sam. Dean turned to his brother as well.

“I didn’t know we filmed this!” he spoke. Sam was grinning widely.

“I didn’t either. I mentioned to Jimmy and Amelia that it was a shame we didn’t have it, and she told me that she filmed it - thought we did too and that’s why she didn’t say anything.” he nodded to the screen as it switched to another angle, giving the view of how adoring the Angel looked upon his human mate. “So I thought, hell, who else may have filmed it. Turns out, Chuck did too!” Jessica nodded.

“His phone is killer, by the way. His footage is amazing.”

They were drawn back to the video by the sound of Dean and Cas speaking their vows. Dean bit his lip, determined not to get emotional of the life he was living. These were great memories. He could remember the way it felt to kiss Castiel for the first time as his husband. He let the Angel take his hand, and he squeezed it in return.

“Um, by the way,” Sam spoke, as they picture montage returned and the music swelled. “I, um... borrowed your phone.”

Dean’s brow furrowed and he looked down at his brother for a moment before the pictures changed to the more family friendly photos Dean had taken on their honeymoon - him and Cas taking a selfie with ocean to their back, a picture of Cas buying a snow cone from a street vendor, and a picture of them, arms around each other, in front of the Hollywood sign. There was a short video clip - that may have been deemed too private, but Sam found too adorable not to include - of a tousle-haired Castiel, looking bleary eyed at Dean’s camera from where he was burrowed in the down bedding.

 _“Rise and shine, Winchester,”_ Dean spoke off camera, earning a smile from the Angel who closed his eyes tightly before looking back to his husband. _“Can’t stay in bed all day.”_

 _“I thought that was the point?”_ Castiel replied, earning a throaty chuckle from his husband. Dean hand was visible for a moment as he ruffled the Angel’s already wild hair. “Come on babe,” Dean entreated. _“Say something for posterity.”_

Castiel narrowed his eyes a moment before looking up at the Camera. It was easy to tell from the orientation of his gaze that he was really looking at Dean, and it was obvious what he was going to say before he said it, for it was reflected in those brilliant, blue eyes.

_“I love you, Dean.”_

Dean smiled at the video, feeling warmth bloom in his chest. He squeezed Cas’s hand tighter, but didn’t turn from the screen that was now transitioning to another picture slideshow: Dean leaning against Cas’s back while the Angel cooked dinner, several shots of them warmed with alcohol and celebrating the holidays, snuggled on the sofa with Mary as they watched the blinking colored lights on the christmas tree. There was a picture of Castiel holding Dean tightly in a goodbye hug when Dean was leaving for officer training, and one of Cas shyly, yet proudly, showing his tiny baby bump, and both men with laughter in their faces as they embraced upon Dean’s return. There were more short videos of Dean and Cas interacting with their baby, sharing goofy, loving moments, interspersed with pictures of them together, and finally with their son. By the time the video and music faded, the words ‘Happy Anniversary - and to many, many more years to come”, Castiel had tears in his eyes. Dean’s eyes were a bit moist himself, but he gave a short laughed and clapped Sam on the leg.

“Thanks guys,” he said. “That was awesome.” he turned to the Angel, absently brushing the bit of wetness just beneath his lower lashes. “What’d you think, babe?”

Castiel shook his head, pulling the baby in his arms closer.

“Life...” he turned to Dean, so much emotion in his eyes. “Life is fleeting.” he spoke, breathlessly. “Human life is so short and so...” he looked down at the infant in his arms. “Fragile...” Dean, Sam, and Jessica all seemed to still in anticipation of Castiel’s emotional meltdown, but none of them stopped him from speaking. “It was just moments ago that I was carrying this child within me, and only a little longer ago that we had no children at all - and you and I were enjoying a revelation with each other than was new and tender... and it was only just moments ago that my father commanded I grip you from the sentence of the damned and I remade your flesh in my hands,”

Dean felt there wasn’t any air in his lungs as he stared back at the man across from him, his heart aching for any pain he must be feeling to have once been eternal, and now was a prisoner to the confines of humanity. However, Castiel smiled.

“And you have chosen to share this moment in the eternity of time with me, Dean,” he leaned over, pulling Dean into his chest with the arm that wasn’t holding the baby. “Thank you.” Dean exhaled heavily, returning the embrace.

“Aw, Cas,” he sighed, pressing his lips to the Angel’s cheek. “Don’t... don’t thank me.” he said with a nervous laugh. Sam slowly shut the laptop, afraid that the interaction between them may become more intense than he was willing to witness. However, the moment was broken by a small, hesitant voice.

“...papa?”

Everyone moved at once, rising from the bed and moving into the hallway. Mary was standing in the crib, her blonde curls wild and disheveled, and she was laying her head on the bars. She smiled happily upon seeing so many familiar faces.

“Sem!” She shouted, bouncing excitedly. Sam smiled, pulling the baby into his arms and snuggling her against his neck and she cooed happily. He carried her back into the room where Dean took her into his arms and fed her tiny bits of egg and toast, much to Castiel’s dismay. They were all laughing at how Mary would exclaim “Mmm!” after each tiny bite of butter soaked toast, and Castiel would just shake his head.

“That’s my little carnivore,” Dean laughed, kissing Mary on top of her head.

“If you give her bacon, I will not be pleased.” Castiel warned, his expression sour as he watched Dean feed Mary.

“She has teeth, Cas,” Dean said with a laugh. “She needs to use them!” he did, however, stick to eggs and toast. With all the conversation happening in the room, little Daniel yawned and blinked his eyes at those around him. Castiel smiled, looking down at the baby in his arms.

“Good morning, beloved,” he spoke, holding the baby so he was sitting upright. Dean looked over at his son, leaning in so the baby would focus on his face.

“Hey Danny,” he greeted, reaching out and touching the baby’s nose. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Daniel yawned again, widely, but he smiled at Dean before curling back toward Cas’s chest. Castiel beamed happily at the baby, and Dean sighed.

“I was beginning to think we’d never see that,” he said. “He’s such an unreadable little thing.” he smirked at Castiel. “Kind of reminds me of you when we first met.” Castiel rolled his eyes, but leaned down to press a kiss to the top of the infant’s head.

“The doctor said he is progressing normally,” Castiel reminded the hunter. “That all babies are different.”

“Mary was much more animated when she was that age, I could swear it,” Dean replied, looking down at Mary who cheered upon hearing her name. “Right bub?” Mary cheered again.

“I think he’s fine,” Jessica said, reaching out and touching the baby’s arm. “Babies do develop at different rates, so if he’s developmentally a little behind Mary, that doesn’t mean anything.” Daniel stayed curled against his father, chewing on his tiny fist. Castiel rose from the bed, plucking the babies pacifier from the cradle and tucking it into Daniel’s mouth before returning to his seat on the bed. The group watched the infant in the Angel’s arm. The baby had no trouble orienting on Castiel, his bright green eyes staring up at his father with what could only be described as adoration.

“I think he’s perfect,” Castiel spoke softly.

After breakfast and spending several long moments with their children, Dean and Castiel dressed and packed an overnight bag for their trip. Mary was only slightly weepy when they said goodbye, but Jessica promised her a bubble bath later which cheered her up. Dean and Cas got in the impala and started the short 45 minute drive up to San Francisco, stopping at the classic car museum on the way. They were both equally interested by Alcatraz island and the museum there. They had lunch at the Golden Gate Coffee shop before taking a stroll around the city to window shop. Dean gave a quick look around himself before taking Cas’s hand in his, but didn’t look once more to see if it was noticed; he enjoyed the warm comfort of the Angel’s fingers entwined with his, and the smile it brought to the Angel’s face.

They walked along for a quarter of an hour before Castiel noticed that Dean was grinning, and then chuckling. He turned to the hunter, looking up at him with amused interest.

“What?” he asked. Dean shook his head, squeezing the Angel’s hand tighter.

“It’s just...” he gave a small laugh. “We’ve come a long way.”

Castiel smiled back at the hunter, letting go of his hand in order to link their arms together. Dean grinned,smiling proudly at his handsome husband as they continued their tour of town. They purchased a few souvenirs and took some pictures before going to their hotel to check in and change. It was hard for Dean to see Castiel strip from his clothing and not just take him right there, but he was looking forward to treating him to a fancy dinner. Dinner at a tie-and-jacket required restaurant was not Dean’s style, but he wanted tonight to be special, to make sure Cas knew how much he meant to him.

“You know,” Dean called from the bathroom as he secured his belt. “I think I’ve gained fifteen pounds since we’ve been married.” He frowned at his reflection, sucking in his gut as he ran a hand down his shirtfront. Castiel came to his side, looking at Dean in the mirror. He turned up to the hunter, leaning to kiss his cheek.

“Happiness looks good on you,” he spoke deeply, stroking his hand down Dean’s beard.

“Whoa,” Dean said, taking a step back and taking in Castiel’s appearance. The Angel looked amazing, his muscular, runner’s body letting his suit hang nicely. “Babe, you look.... wow.”

Cas gave a nervous laugh, blushing slightly. Dean grimaced, turning back to the mirror.

“I look like the one who just had a baby six weeks ago.” he sighed, pressing a hand to his gut. Castiel gently turned Dean to face him, and slipped his arms around the hunter’s neck.

“You look perfect,” he insisted, pulling Dean down for a kiss. Dean relaxed into Cas’s embrace, his hands sliding down to the Angel’s hips and pulling him close. He could feel Cas’s lips smile against his. “Do you still want to go to dinner?” he asked. Dean sighed.

“Yep. Let’s hit the road.”

Cas smiled, taking Dean’s hand and letting him lead the way. The Angel was surprised that, instead of getting in the Impala, a sleek, black towncar was waiting for them out front. The driver opened the back door and ushered the couple inside. They settled into the soft, leather seat and chatted about the city as they drove. In the darkness of the car, Dean kept his hand firmly clasped with Castiel’s. They were seated at the restaurant almost immediately, and Dean ordered a bottle of wine to start their meal. They continued the conversation they were having in the car about Castiel’s summer garden, and Dean watched the Angel with a smile on his face. He wanted to pull him across the table and kiss him, but he just nodded instead. They took turns speaking after their meal arrived; the most expensive - but most delicious - filet mignon, roast potatoes and carrots Dean had ever had. The best part of the meal for Dean, however, was watching Cas enjoy his dessert of creme brulee with almost obscene delight.

After a cup of coffee to end the meal, and sober up just a bit, Dean paid the check and escorted Cas back to the car that was still waiting for them. Castiel was watching his husband with a wary eye, amused by the look of conspiratorial delight on the hunter’s face.

“What?” Cas asked, letting Dean take his hand again as the towncar pulled out of the restaurant parking lot. “You mentioned you have a surprise?”

“I do,” Dean said with a grin, squeezing the Angel’s hand tightly. His demeanor became slightly self-conscious then, and he gave a nervous chuckle. “I hope you like it... it’s... it’s nothing big, nothing... amazing.”

Castiel tilted his head, giving a wry look to the younger man.

“I’m sure it’s wonderful,” he replied. Dean smiled, keeping his eyes focused on Cas’s hand in his.

Castiel watched the scenery outside his window as they drove, the passing buildings becoming less ‘city’ and more ‘coast’. Soon, the car was slowing as they approached a large marina, and they parked next to a row of posts with thick, braided rope strung between them. The two exited the car, and Dean spoke quietly to the driver a moment before handing him a couple bills that Cas couldn’t identify. With a wink, Dean took Cas’s hand and led him down the pier. Castiel looked with interest at the rows of boats sitting at the dock as they passed.

“Are we...” Castiel began hesitantly. “Going on a boat?”

Dean stopped, his expression slightly panicked.

“You don’t like boats?” he asked. Castiel laughed softly, linking his arms through Dean’s and squeezing his bicep.

“I’ve never been on a boat before,” he explained. “I’m curious, that’s all.”

Dean sighed, continuing on down the pier until they reached a large sailboat called the ‘Sea Serenade’. There was a woman standing on the bow, and she moved down the ramp as they approached.

“Mr. Winchester?” she asked, extending her hand.

“Yeah,” Dean said, shaking her hand. She smiled, turning to Castiel next.

“So you must be the other Mr. Winchester,” she said, “My name is Kate Miller. I’ll be your captain this evening. Please, this way.” Dean and Cas followed her up the ramp, stepping onto the bow of the ship. “Let me give you a quick tour and we can raise anchor,” Kate told them, showing them toward the back of the boat. She gave them a full ‘in case of emergency’ speech, before showing them the washroom and the kitchenette. “Even though this is a sailboat, it has a motor. I can operate her fully from right back here. This is where you will be spending the cruise,” she continued, walking them back toward the front of the ship.

Castiel’s eyes grew wide as he took in the bow of the boat. Just to the front of the cabin was a large seating area that looked to Cas to be the human version of a cat bed. There was a bottle of champagne nestled in a bucket of ice just to the side, sitting on a small table that also contained a tray of fruit and chocolates. Dean was smiling shyly, a blush on his cheeks, when Castiel turned to him.

“This is romantic, Dean,” he said, a note of awe in his voice. Dean chuckled out loud when he finished with. “Isn’t it?”

“If you two want to get settle in,” Captain Kate interrupted with a smile, “We’ll head out.”

Dean took Castiel’s hand, leading him over to the cushiony seating area and picked up the bottle of champagne. The ship gave a small lurch, and a soft thrumming sound could be heard as the engine turned on. Dean poured a drink for Cas as the Angel sat.

“Here babe,” he offered, pouring his own next. He gave a sigh, looking down at the other man. “Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary, Dean,” Castiel replied.

Dean settled down next to his husband, letting the other man cuddle against his side as the boat pulled away from the dock and out into the bay. It was a beautiful, cool evening, with just a hint of clouds in the sky over head.

“I like the taste of this,” Castiel commented, looking down into his half empty champagne flute. “It’s nice.”

“Well go easy there,” Dean told him with a laugh. “It may taste timid, but it can still pack a punch.” he leaned over, nuzzling the side of the Angel’s neck before kissing his throat. “And I want you coherent the whole night, you got it?”

A smile spread across Castiel’s face, and a soft blush tinged his cheeks.

“Yes, Dean,” he agreed. Dean gave a wag of his eyebrows, pressing his forehead against the other’s.

“Good man,” he murmured.

They sat cuddled together as the boat pulled out to sea, watching the endless blue of the ocean in front of them. When the ship began to pick up speed, Castiel stood and moved toward the bow, leaning against the rail. Dean watched the Angel tilt his face into the wind.

“Dean,” Cas called back to him, turning. He had a bright, happy expression on his face. “This is like flying.”

Dean felt a small tug in his chest, and he rose from his seat and crossed to his husband, slipping his arms around his waist and leaning his head on Cas’s shoulder. The wind and the light sea spray blew over them, and Dean could understand the Angel’s sentiment. Castiel closed his eyes, and leaned back into the hunter’s embrace.

“This is beautiful,” he spoke softly.

Dean tightened his arms around Cas, pressing a kiss against the Angel’s ear.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. Cas turned his head, squinting up at Dean. His eyes searched the hunter’s a moment, before he leaned up to kiss him.

“You’re biased, Dean,” he said seriously. “You become quite blind to the faults of my time on this planet.”

“Shut - it,” Dean warned, teasingly. Castiel chuckled, hugging Dean’s arms against his waist. After a few minutes, Dean lead Castiel back to the seating area and they sat in companionable silence for a long stretch of time, watching the sunset on the horizon dipping down into the endless expense of ocean. Dean stroked the Angel’s hair and neck, and Cas held Dean’s other hand in his. Dean looked down at his husband when he heard Castiel’s deep voice speaking softly.

“I used to think you’d never love me,” he said. Dean’s brow furrowed and his hand stopped, resting on the Angel’s wavy hair. Castiel continued. “I didn’t really know what love was, to be honest, I just knew I wanted to be with you... for you to care about me as much as I cared about you. ... this has been so much better than anything I could have imagined.” he looked up at his husband. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean leaned down, kissing Castiel deeply.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he murmured, turning where he sat so he could press Cas back against the cushion. “I don’t even want to think about where I’d be without you. You’ve... you’ve given me so much.”

“I’d give you everything,” Castiel whispered.

The two were so preoccupied with each other, they didn’t notice the shift in the boat as it turned back to shore. But by the time they docked, both were more than ready to get back to the hotel.

Dean couldn’t stop smiling, happy from the look of drunken joy on his husband’s handsome face. Castiel wasn’t actually _drunk_ , but he was warm and giddy from two glasses of wine and three glasses of chapagne. Did had had just enough alcohol himself to lower his inhibitions, making out with Castiel unashamedly in the back of the towncar as they were chauffeured back to the hotel. Castiel was buzzing with happiness, and he held on to Dean’s arm as they returned to their hotel room, and let the hunter pull him into an embrace as soon as they were inside.

“I’m ready for bed,” Dean said with a grin, pressing kisses into the Angel’s neck. “How about you?”

“More than,” Castiel replied, his hands sliding up Dean’s chest and pushing the jacket from his shoulders. Dean chuckled, kissing Cas on the tip of his nose.

“Hold the thought,” he said. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”

“Be quick,” Castiel replied, letting Dean out of his arms and shrugging off his own jacket. Dean pointed to him as he began to edge away.

“Don’t take off too much,” he said warningly, but with a grin. “I want to do that myself.”

Castiel’s throaty chuckle was music to Dean’s ears, and Dean turned and retreated into the bathroom. He took a few moments to empty his bladder before scrutinizing his appearance in the mirror as he washed his hands. Yes, he did look a bit heavier than he recalled from the previous year, but the few extra pounds were worth the insane amount of happiness he had with Cas. He wasn’t going to let his vanity keep him from enjoying this night alone with Cas to the fullest extent.

“You kids are so sweet, I think I’m getting diabetes.”

Dean gave a start of surprise, turning quickly to where the archangel was perched on the side of the whirlpool tub.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Dean demanded with a frown. “I mean, no offense but... we’re a little busy.”

Gabriel grimaced.

“I’m aware,” he replied, dryly. “But believe me, I think you’ll be happy I stopped by.” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

The angel sighed, standing,

“To be honest, Dean-o,” he began. “You beat even the most far-fetched bet for how long you’d keep your word to our little brother,” he could see Dean’s expression darkening, so he continued quickly. “But, no one can deny that you’re ga-ga for our little cloud-hopper. I mean...” he took a deep breath. “You’ve surprised even me, Dean. And I know what a good guy you are.”

“You think I was playing Cas?” Dean asked, disgusted. Gabriel shook his head.

“No. I thought you were grateful to him.” he admitted simply. “I thought you were just trying to make him happy.... I wanted him happy, too.”

Dean continued to scowl, not much happier with this answer.

“It was never like that,” he growled. “Not for a second. “I... I love Cas. For Cas. Not for anything he’s done. I am grateful, but it’s not the reason that I’ve reciprocated. Not the reason I married him.”

“Calm down, grizzly Adams,” Gabriel interrupted, holding up his hands. “I didn’t come here to give you grief, I cam to give you an anniversary gift.”

Dean watched the archangel incredulously as he moved closer.

“Castiel is my favorite brother,” Gabriel told him. “He’s surpassed anything I could have ever wished for him. Been braver than I. Been ballsier than I,” he gave a smirk. “And there is one thing he’s wished that I still want to give him, while I can,” he raised two fingers toward Dean’s forehead, but the hunter pulled away.

“Hey - yo,” he said quickly. “I, uh, appreciate it. But, ah, Cas and I want to wait a few years before we have another baby.”

Gabriel chuckled.

“Not that, silly,” he pressed his fingers to the hunter’s forehead, and Dean felt a chill pass through him and quickly vanish. “Now.” Gabriel said. “Tell him I said happy anniversary.”

Dean stared dumbfounded at the empty spot where his brother-in-law was just standing. He turned back to his own expression in the mirror, not sure what he was expecting, but looking exactly the same.

“Dean?” Castiel called softly from the other room.

“Sorry babe,” Dean responded, opening the bathroom door and stepping back out into the main room of the suite. He came to a dead halt, his jaw dropping open in surprise and awe.

Castiel was setting in the middle of the large bed, cross-legged and still dressed in his dress shirt although his pants were discarded over the back of a chair. But it wasn’t his state of dress that was shocking. The Angel was softly bathed in a golden and blue glow, seeming to shine down on him from above. Stretched out behind him, dipping from the side of the bed, were the most beautiful blue-black wings. Dean let out a soft breath.

“Dean?” Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side. “Is... is everything okay?”

As he spoke, the wings gave a shudder, fluffing up before laying back sleek and shiny, pulling in against his sides. Dean walked to the side of the bed.

“...You’re beautiful,” he spoke, reaching out to run his fingers over the silky, smooth feathers. Castiel gasped, and his wings retracted a moment before relaxing.

“How?...” he began, his eyes following Dean as he sat down on the side of the bed.

“An anniversary gift,” Dean replied, his gaze sweeping over Castiel’s wing as he continued to stroke his fingers through the soft feathers. “From your brother.”

Castiel smiled, blushing slightly, but ruffled his feathers once again before stretching his wings out their full span. He felt a small surge of vanity and pride at the look of amazement on his husband’s face.

“Do you like them?” he asked, softly. Dean shook his head, leaning in to the Angel’s space.

“ ‘Like’ barely scratches the surface of anything I feel for you.”

Castiel slipped his arms around Dean’s neck, smiling against Dean’s lips. As fascinated as Dean was with the wings, he became lost in Castiel’s kisses and the feel of skin against skin as they slowly undressed each other. It wasn’t until Castiel gently pulled Dean down against him that the thought of wings came back to the hunter’s mind.

“Does this hurt?” Dean asked, slipping an arm beneath Cas’s back to pull him slightly from the mattress. Castiel smiled.

“Just because you can perceive them, doesn’t mean that they are in this plane.” he explained.

Dean grimaced.

“I don’t know what that means,” he replied. “ But I just never thought all this time I’ve been cramping your feathers into the mattress.”

“Don’t stop now,” Cas whispered, pulling Dean back down onto the bed. Dean chuckled, the sound muffled against his husband’s mouth.

“As long as it’s not uncomfortable,” he replied. Castiel shook his head and Dean settled into the firm warmth of his husband’s body. Castiel was responsive and pliant with the amount of alcohol he had consumed, and Dean delighted in the Angel’s relaxed state and he ran his hand through the other man’s wavy hair and down his cheek. “Is this good for you?” he asked quietly, rolling his hips to thrust in long, gentle strokes. Castiel sighed, resting his arms loosely around Dean’s neck. He gave a small, satisfied smile.

“One of my favorite things about being human,” he admitted. “Is getting to share this with you.”

Dean grinned, leaning down and kissing his Angel as they made love. His husband. His Castiel. And when they were both sated and sleepy, Dean held Castiel in his arms, sliding his fingers through the soft, cobalt feathers.

“I can’t believe we’ve been married for a year,” Dean murmured, earning a hmm of reply from Cas. Dean smiled broadly. “A year of marriage and two babies.... new job, new house... new life, pretty much,” Castiel shifted, looking up at him. Dean noticed the sudden fluff of the Angel’s wings and he wished that he could see that much expression from him since he was incredibly hard to read at times. Dean ran his hand over the feathers, smoothing them back down. “The best year of my life,” he continued, earning a smile from the other man. “Well, the last two years have been pretty stellar, actually,” He leaned in and kissed Cas firmly on the forehead. “How you put up with me, I’ll never know.”

Castiel tucked his face down into the crook of Dean’s neck, shaking his head.

“Aside from being a wonderful husband and father?” came his muffled reply. “... possibly that thing you were doing about ten minutes ago...”

Dean laughed out loud, pulling the Angel tighter into his arms and kissing him until they were both laughing and exhausted. When they settled back into each others arms, they were quiet for a long stretch of time. Just before they slipped into sleep, Dean spoke quietly into the darkness.

“You make me look forward to the rest of my life, Cas....” he said. The cool, blue-black feathers pulled tighter around them both, and Dean smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every day, Dean got to watch his happy baby Mary grown into a happy and loving little girl, who was bold and brave and exuberant in all things. And every day he got to watch his grumpy baby son grow into a picky, finicky little boy, who was also tenderhearted and thoughtful and too quiet at times. Their home life was warm and happy, and there was nothing he enjoyed better than coming home from work to spend time with his family. It was bittersweet, of course, that every day Castiel became a little more human, and both hunter and Angel stopped commenting on those changes for fear of bringing attention to them. But the inevitable changes in Castiel were easier to accept when, everyday, their house was filled with laughter and happiness and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a time jump between this chapter and the last. This chapter is a little short, but I didn't have a better place to break it, and I wanted to post this because I thought it was sort of cute. I hope that you like it.

Dean could definitely smell coffee, and something warm and sweet cooking as well. He stretched his arms above his head, groaning with satisfaction as he spread out across the bed, not bothering to look beside himself for his husband. With the house already full of the delicious aromas of Saturday morning breakfast, Cas had probably been up for at least an hour. With two children, Dean and Cas didn’t often get to sleep in, but the Angel made sure that Dean got a chance to catch some extra shut eye at least once in while, and Dean returned the favor whenever he could.

Dean pulled himself from the bed, taking a couple minutes to pull the sheets up, smooth the wrinkles from the comforter, and arrange the pillows into their proper place before crossing to the bathroom. After emptying his bladder, he washed up and brushed his teeth before heading downstairs. A smile came to his lips as he reached the living room landing and could hear Castiel’s deep, patient voice giving instructions.

“Don’t put too much; papa only likes a little bit of milk in his coffee...” Cas was saying calmly. A tiny voice spoke next that made Dean’s smile widen.

“Like that?!”

“That’s very good.”

Dean stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning on the frame as he took in the site. Castiel was standing beside the counter, Daniel perched on his hip. The Angel was still dressed in his pajamas, his tee shirt and cotton sleep pants hanging handsomely on his lean, muscular frame. Dean missed the one night he was able to see Cas’s beautiful, cobalt wings, but at least the wings didn’t obscure the view - so it was really a silver lining.

Standing at Castiel’s side on a wooden step stool was their daughter Mary, carefully stirring a spoon in a coffee mug. Her honey blonde hair was pulled in a messy ponytail atop her head, and the curls fell around her head like a halo. Dean grinned at at his little family, and his son turned to see him standing there.

“Papa,” Daniel said, his voice muffled from the pacifier in his mouth. The announcement caused both Castiel and Mary to turn.

“Papa!” Mary added, hopping down off of the step stool before Cas could stop her. Dean laughed at his husband’s look of faint shock at their daughter’s fearlessness, and Dean squatted down to let her leap into his arms. “We maked breakfast!” Mary told him happily.

“Oh?” Dean asked, rising and holding his daughter securely in one arm. Castiel approached them, softly brushing a bit of baking mix from his daughter’s cheek.

“We _made_ breakfast,” he corrected gently. Mary nodded, turning back to Dean.

“We _made_ breakfast,” she repeated. Dean smiled at her.

“I bet it’s wonderful,” he told her, giving her a squeeze before he leaned over to his husband. “Good morning, handsome.”

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas replied with a smile, accepting Dean’s kiss. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mm,” he replied, reaching out and ruffling his son’s hair. “Morning, buddy. You helpin’ to make breakfast, too?”

“No!” Mary exclaimed with a giggle. “Danny’s a baby!”

Daniel’s smooth brow furrowed and and pulled the pacifier from his mouth.

“No, Mary,” he said with a frown. Dean made a ‘serious dad’ face as he addressed his children.

“Danny’s not a baby, Mare,” he told her. “He’s a big boy.”

Mary turned her wide, innocent blue eyes up to her father.

“But... DD is a baby?” she asked. Dean smiled widely.

“Yeah, DD is a baby. He still wears diapers and drinks from a bottle, right?”

Mary’s mouth pulled into a wide grimace, as if she didn’t want to contradict her father, and she turned to look at her brother.

“But... Danny still has a pass-fier...”

Daniel scowled, pushing the pacifier back into his mouth. Dean sighed, giving Castiel a look that clearly said ‘she has a point’. Castiel shrugged.

“Everyone progresses at their own pace, Mary,” Castiel reminded her. “Be kind.”

“Yes, daddy,” she agreed, letting Dean strap her in to her booster seat. Castiel put Daniel in the highchair before gathering the breakfast serving dishes. “We maked pancakes!” Mary told Dean excitedly, correcting herself quickly before Castiel could. “Made pancakes. Daddy lemme put berries in.”

“Blueberry pancakes,” Castiel announced, setting the tray, and a cup of coffee, in front of Dean. “And turkey bacon.”

Dean smiled, in spite of himself. After too many months of trying to take off the fifteen stubborn pounds of newlywed weight, Castiel pitched in by studying nutrition and compensating on the dietary front. Dean was still the more practiced cook, but he couldn’t bring himself to make anything low fat or even semi “healhty”.. He was able to keep a modicum of fitness with his physical job, playing the occasional game of basketball with his neighbor Jeff, and getting together with Jimmy once or twice a month for a few holes of golf. His favorite activity for keeping in shape, however, was playing with his children.

“It looks delicious, baby. Thanks.” Dean said, serving Daniel first since he was closer to Dean than to Cas. After placing a pancake on the boy’s plate, Danny held up his hands as if protecting his plate like a soccer goalie. “I’m not giving you turkey bacon, bud.” Dean assured him, picking up the maple syrup and pouring a bit over the pancake.

“I no eat that,” Danny reminded him, his voice again muffled by the pacifier. Dean plucked the pacifier from the child’s mouth and sat it aside.

“I know you don’t eat it.” came his well practiced reply. In the almost two years Danny had been eating solid foods, Dean never failed to remember that the child didn’t like meat, although Danny’s constant reminders would have anyone else thinking otherwise. Dean spoke to his husband. “Speaking of DD,” he began. “Did Sammy say what time we should come by today?”

“He said any time,” Cas replied as he cut Mary’s pancakes into smaller bites. “But Jessica said the party starts at noon. So I told her we would come by at ten.”

Dean sighed heavily, looking from his son to his daughter.

“I can’t believe Sam’s little guy is already two years old.” Castiel smiled pleasantly, watching Dean help Daniel feed himself in between taking bites of his own. “Makes me feel old.”

Castiel reached over and patted Dean’s hand.

So much had happened in the last two years, that it was almost an entirely different life for Dean. He had become comfortable at work, comfortable with new neighbors and friends, comfortable with living life in the suburbs. He lived through his parents divorce, his brother becoming a father, and the one thing he thought he would never be able to survive: the day Sam and Jessica bought their own home, and their friends and family helped the young couple move. Dean’s house seemed a lot quieter after that, but it really made him appreciate the time he and Sam did get to spend together. They had actually even discovered some things that brought them closer together, even while living apart. Last christmas, Sam bought Dean a gaming console, and after Dean stopped scoffing over how he wasn’t a ‘gamer’, he and Sam spent many a Saturday night playing Halo and Call of Duty, and bonding over destroying assholes on the internet. They had also formed a tradition of getting together with the other officers from work on the last Friday of the month after their shift was over, and they would share a beer and comraderie. Dean was surprised that he and Sam had been so easily accepted by their FBI peers who were working the traditional case types, and not the supernatural cases that Sam and Dean were. Even more surprising to Dean was the amount of respect that he and Sam received from their fellow agents. They weren’t treated like lesser agents, but were often lauded for the longer amount of time they had to be away from home, the more dangerous their case work, and that even though they were hunters, they still completed just the same amount of crappy paperwork as everyone else.

But the best changes were those happening right under the roof of their little townhome. Every day, Dean got to watch his happy baby Mary grown into a happy and loving little girl, who was bold and brave and exuberant in all things. And every day he got to watch his grumpy baby son grow into a picky, finicky little boy, who was also tenderhearted and thoughtful and too quiet at times. Their home life was warm and happy, and there was nothing he enjoyed better than coming home from work to spend time with his family. It was bittersweet, of course, that every day Castiel became a little more human, and both hunter and Angel stopped commenting on those changes for fear of bringing attention to them. But the inevitable changes in Castiel were easier to accept when, everyday, their house was filled with laughter and happiness and love.

“Would you like more, Dean?” Castiel asked, holding up the pancake platter and offering it to his husband.

“Absolutely,” Dean agreed, taking the plate and putting another three pancakes on his own, smiling at his daughter. “These are the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”

Mary smiled happily, as she took another bite of her own breakfast. Dean tried not to laugh out loud when he picked up the tray of bacon next and Danny held little hands over his plate.

Once breakfast was finished, Dean and Castiel wiped the syrup from their children’s hands and faced before clearing up the dishes. When Dean announced he was taking a shower, he trudged up the stairs behind two quickly stripping children, Castiel’s laughter following behind.

“Okay, we’re all business this morning,” Dean warned them as he gathered towels from the linen cabinet. “No shampoo mohawks. No shaving cream beards. Got it?”

“Got it,” came the tiny voices on the other side of the shower door. Dean chuckled, stripping off his pajamas and tossing them in the hamper. He reached down to pick up the little shirts that didn’t quite make it when a thought occurred to him.

“Hey Danny,” he said, opening the shower door where his two naked children stood smiling up at him. “Come out here real quick and go potty. We don’t have time for water sports either.”

Castiel had arrived upstairs to help Dean dry off the kids, and he took them across the hall to dress them in order to give the hunter a chance to dry and dress himself. Once they were dressed, Castiel sat them at the activity table with paper and crayons so he could take his own shower. When he came back downstairs, Dean was setting at the table drawing with the children. Castiel smiled fondly at him, watching them a moment.

“What’cha drawing, little bee?” Dean asked Daniel. They had taken to calling the little boy the nickname given to him by Mary when she was not old enough to say more than a few syllables. Daniel was always the “bee bee”, and the name just stuck.

Daniel was quiet a moment, watching his own progress on the paper.

“Grace...”

“Grace, huh?” Dean asked, nodding as he looked at the picture Daniel was diligently drawing. He turned to Mary, tilting his head so he could see her picture. “What’re you drawing, Mares?”

“I’m drawing uncle Sam as a princess.” she chirped happily. “Because we’re going to Disney World, and Sam says that that’s where all the princesses are.”

Dean chuckled, nodding his head in approval.

“That looks great, sweetheart.”

“I’m gonna draw you next!” Mary continued happily, selecting her next crayon with care. Dean’s smile remained.

“I can’t wait.”

Castiel entered the room then, setting behind Dean and peering over the hunter’s shoulder at his paper.

“And what are you drawing, Dean?” he asked. Dean grinned and shrugged, dropping his blue crayon back into the tub with the others. The paper in front of him was covered in dozens of hearts in different sizes, surrounding the word “Castiel”. The Angel smiled, running his hand affectionately over the back of Dean’s neck.

“Are you all ready to go?” he asked.

“Yep,” Dean replied, giving a grunt of discomfort as he pushed himself from the floor. He held his hands out to Daniel. “Come on, baby.”

Daniel pulled the pacifier from his mouth to remind him:

“Big boy.”

“Give me that,” Dean laughed, taking the pacifier without too much protest and handing it to Cas, who tucked it away in the diaper bag. Castiel took Mary’s hand and the family left the house, locking the door behind them, before loading in to Castiel’s Subaru.

Jessica stepped out onto the front porch when they pulled into the driveway. She smiled broadly at them, leaning down to accept Mary’s running start of a hug.

“Thank you for coming over so early,” she said, hugging Dean next. “My parent’s got a late start this morning and won’t be here until right at noon.”

“We’re happy to help out,” Dean told her, giving the swell of her stomach an affectionate pat. “Can’t have you doing too much.”

“Oh please,” she laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re just as bad as Sam. I’m only four months. You all can start coddling me when I’m seven months and cant see my feet.”

“Deal,” Dean agreed. Jessica turned to hug Castiel next and held out her hands to Daniel.

“Hey Danny,” she spoke. “Did you bring your swim trunks?” he nodded shyly, resting his head on his father’s shoulder, and Jess smiled wider. She dropped her hands, taking it as a lost cause that he would go to her. “Uncle Sam and DD are out putting floaties in the pool, you want to go see?” when he nodded, she turned to her niece. “What about you Mares?” she asked, having taken up Dean’s name for the little girl. “You bring a suit?”

“I gotta kini,” Mary told her happily. “A top and a bo’m!”

“My!” Jessica laughed, letting the little girl proceed them into the house. She looked back over her shoulder at Mary’s dads. “I doubt that was Dean’s idea...”

“Mom’s,” Dean grumbled, setting down their bags by the door. “She couldn’t get over how cute it is. What time are mom and Bobby coming?”

“Mom called just before you got here. They’ll be here in about an hour.” Jessica told him as she pulled open the sliding door that lead to the back yard. “Sam,” she called to where her husband was filling inflatable rafts with a small foot pump. “Look who’s here.”

Sam smiled broadly, picking up his toddler and following behind his Labrador that bounded toward the group.

“Hey guys,” he said, getting a hug from both Dean and Cas. He took hold of the dog’s collar, urging her to get down from where she stood up on Cas, licking Danny’s legs. “Grace, down girl.” he admonished lightly, even though Danny was grinning happily down at the dog. Sam looked to his brother. “Can you believe my baby is turning two?”

“No,” Castiel replied before Dean could. “Your brother is having a hard enough time coming to terms with the fact that Mary will be four in a month and Daniel will be three.”

“Ugh, I know,” Sam sighed, reaching out to ruffle Daniel’s unruly chestnut colored hair. Castiel turned to his nephew.

“Hello, Dean,” he greeted stoically. “Happy birthday.”

“You’re the only one who calls him Dean, Cas,” Dean grumbled as he took the toddler from Sam’s arms. “You’re going to confuse him.”

“His name is Dean,” Castiel replied. “How is that confusing?”

Sam chuckled, turning his attention to Mary and sweeping her up into his arms. She chatted happily to him, and he seemed equally uncertain about this ‘kini’. They all had to admit once she was in it, however, that it was freaking adorable.

Jimmy, Amelia, Claire, and Caden arrived a half hour to noon, and Mrs. Winchester and Bobby were right after, followed by the Moores. Dean hung out by the grill with Sam, where his brother was charring up shrimp and steak in addition to hotdogs for the kids. Dean was drinking a beer, watching Cas, Jimmy, Jess, and Mrs. Winchester push the kids around in the pool on inflatable rafts. Sam leaned in to whisper to his brother.

“Jess’s sister told her that her mom said she was going to pretend she forgot her bathing suit today, because she can’t believe she and mom are the same age.”

Dean gave a snort of amusement, taking a long draw from his beer.

“I think mom’s paid quite a price to look 25 years younger than other moms...” he mused, shrugging. “But, Mrs. Moore is still a certified, stone cold fox. You’re future’s looking pretty bright.”

“Oh, thanks,” Sam laughed. “Mr Novak is pretty handsome for an older man...”

“Shut up,” Dean laughed, but grimaced all the same.

When Sam called for everyone to eat, Dean made Mary a plate before making one for him and Cas. Danny sat cuddled in his father’s lap, wrapped in a towel and letting Cas feed him bits of macaroni. Cas tried not to laugh every time he speared a bit of steak on his fork and Danny would quickly remind him “I no eat that”. Dean sat his plate aside, taking Danny from Cas so the Angel could focus on eating.

After lunch, Mary climbed into Dean’s lap, saying “I’m just cold for a minute,” and he obliged to wrap her in a towel as well and hold her against his chest, despite the dampness to his clothes. She sat quietly in his lap a moment, insistent that she would return to the pool, but brought her tiny hand up to stroke the side of Dean’s jaw as she did since she was a infant and was soon asleep. He was content to let her sleep in his arms until Jessica called everyone inside for the opening of presents, then it was Dean who wanted to nap while watching the painfully slow process of his nephew unwrapping gifts.

“Th-ank you, un’le Dean,” DD said happily, clutching the book of fairy tales and the package of toy cars to his chest as he reached up with his free arm to hug Dean. Dean leaned down, hugging the little boy to him and kissing his forehead.

“You’re welcome, buddy.” Dean replied. He pointed to the box of cars. “Did you see this one? What’s this one like?”

The little boy peered at the box, hazel eyes narrowing a moment before he turned back to his uncle and smiled.

“Baby,” he replied, and it brought a smile to Dean’s face.

“Yep. That one’s just like Baby.”

“The M-pala!” Mary interjected, climbing up next to her father. “Papa, can I have juice?”

“Sure thing,” Dean told her, rising from the sofa, patting little DD’s head on the way past. He found Castiel in the kitchen chatting quietly with his mother. The Angel was sitting on a bar stool, holding Daniel in his lap as the child sipped from a bottle of children’s nutritional supplement shake. Dean rolled his eyes but smiled, crossing to the fridge. “Why’re you hiding out in here, Mrs. Singer?” he asked his mother with a grin. Dean loved having his mother living nearby now, and it just seemed to be a bonus that no one was expecting when Bobby came with her. Neither Dean nor Sam were going to complain that two of their favorite people in the world were getting to share some of the happiness they had found in recent years.

Mary shook her head, but she smiled at Dean.

“I’m not hiding out,” she replied, handing Dean a cup for the juice. “I was keeping Castiel company... while _he_ is hiding out.”

“I’m not hiding,” Castiel explained, idly brushing back his son’s hair. “There is just a lot of sensory stimulation in the living room right now, so we are taking a small break.”

Dean nodded in agreement, pouring the apple juice into a cup. He leaned on the counter and addressed his son.

“It’s kind of loud with so many people, huh?” he asked. Daniel nodded, leaning back against Castiel’s chest. Dean could tell that the child was tired and was probably wanting to be at home for his nap. “Well, papa thinks your doing really well, buddy. You stay here as long as you need, okay?”

Daniel nodded again, and Dean kissed him on the forehead before he left the room. He took the cup to his daughter, asking her to sit on the floor while she drank so she wouldn’t spill anything on the furniture. Sam descended on him.

“Is Danny okay?” he asked. “I know that this is quite a crowd, on top of Jess’s family being too unfamiliar to him.”

“He’s fine,” Dean assured him. “He’s hanging in there. He’s just gonna hang out with Cas and mom in the kitchen for a while.”

“Do you think he may want to lie down for a bit?” Sam asked. “Jess’s parents are in the guest room, but he and Cas can use my bed.”

“Nah, it’s good.” Dean assured him. “Thanks though, man.”

Sam nodded, clapping Dean on the back before turning to his own little son.

“Who’s ready for cake and ice cream, hm?” Sam asked, sweeping the two year old up into his arms. DD cheered, and Caden and Mary excitedly followed them to the dining room. Dean grinned, watching his brother walk away with a trail of children, like the Pied Piper.

The party assembled in the dining room as Jessica brought out the cake. Castiel stood in the doorway to the kitchen, wanting to be a part of the festivities, but remain just slightly away for his son’s sake. Dean came to his side, slipping an arm around Cas’s waist as they watched Jessica light the single candle on DD’s miniature birthday cake and she and Sam lead the group in singing Happy Birthday.

Dean felt Sam looked like a different person these days. There was so much life back in eyes, so much happiness there to replace the pain. He was glad his brother was able to get out of the typical hunters life before it was too late. Remnants of Amariel’s visions of the future that almost happened still clung to Dean’s brain, and he knew there was a lot of hell that they’d been able to dodge. This life, this was what he wanted for Sam. He couldn’t believe he never thought to fight for this before. He had been so defeated, so ready to accept the misery he thought was in store for them.

When the group began to clap at the end of the song, Dean discretely planted a quick kiss on his husband’s shoulder. Castiel smiled at him, blushing slightly when Dean winked.

“I got you something special, little bee,” Jessica spoke to Danny, breaking up the sweet moment Dean and Cas were wordlessly sharing. She playfully jostled the little boy’s foot. “I got special dessert for you.”

Mrs. Moore looked surprised by Jessica’s words.

“Your son doesn’t like cake and ice cream, Dean?” she asked, amazed. Dean tried not to sigh before he answered.

“Danny has a problem with animal products,” he explained.

“Allergies?” she asked, looking sympathetically at the little boy as he tucked his face further down against Castiel’s neck.

“Uh,” Dean began, looking to Cas. “No... he... he just doesn’t want to eat animals.” he shrugged and laughed, giving a ‘what can ya do?’ sort of shrug. Mrs. Moore looked to the Winchesters with amused incredulity.

“He’s three...” she began. “How can he know that cake and ice cream are made from animals?”

It was Cas’s turn to look incredulous. His brow furrowed and he responded for his husband.

“He asks,” he explained. “He always asks what’s in the food he eats.”

Mrs. Moore laughed at Castiel’s answer, but not unkindly.

“And you tell him?” she asked. “Can’t you just... wait until he’s older to tell him?”

Both Jessica and Dean felt a small sense of alarm in the way that Cas’s eyebrows raised, and Jessica spoke quickly.

“Well,” she said brightly, turning back to Danny. “Uncle Sam made you a special carrot cake and we have some cashew milk ice cream and it’s super yummy. You want that?”

Danny nodded, but kept curled to Castiel’s neck. Jessica smiled, and motioned Cas back into the kitchen. Dean followed.

After the festivities drew to a close, Dean and Cas said their goodbyes and carried sleepy children to their car. It was six pm by the time the Winchesters arrived back to their own house, and Castiel made a light dinner before taking the kids up for a bath. Once freshly bathed and dressed in pajamas, Mary and Danny snuggled on the couch on either side of Dean while he read to them from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Castiel sat on the opposite sofa, watching them as he knitted a blanket. Every time Dean used a funny voice for one of the characters, the kids would giggle and Castiel would smile, and soon he was watching his husband and children more than he was the project in his hands.

“ _Alice looked all round her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances_.” Dean read, holding the book down far enough that his children could follow his finger along with the text and see the brightly colored pictures on the opposite page. “ _There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it_.” he looked down to his kids, his eyes wide. “What do you think she finds?”

“I don’t know,” Mary replied, excitement in her voice. Danny merely blinked his tired eyes, looking at the picture on the page and pointing to it. Dean chuckled and continued to read.

“ _She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else._ ”

Since he hit the last page of the chapter, Dean looked to the clock. It was half past eight.

“That looks like a good place to stop, so I think it’s bedtime,” he announced, and both children groaned. “Come on now,” Dean chided, pulling one into each arm. “You’re both falling asleep, and so is your papa. So, let’s not grump about it, okay?”

“Okay,” they chorused, which only made Dean smile. Castiel followed them upstairs and the parents settled their children into bed, tucking them in and kissing their faces.

“Good night, kids,” Dean spoke, turning on their night light and off the overhead lamp. “We love you.”

Tiny, tired voices returned the sentiments and Dean and Castiel moved across the hall. Both were quiet as they readied themselves for bed, but Castiel spoke when they got beneath the sheets.

“Jessica spoke with her neighbor yesterday,” he commented. “They’re thinking of putting their house up for sale.”

“Really?” Dean asked, “Huh... The one with the grey shutters or the one with the two big trees in the back?”

“The one with the trees,” Cas replied. He lay down on his side, propping his head on his hand. Dean mirrored the posture.

“What are you thinking?” Dean asked. Cas shrugged, reaching out to run his fingers down the tendon of Dean’s throat.

“If they do put it up for sale, we might want to go look at it... don’t you think?”

Dean nodded, bringing his hand up to catch Castiel’s. He brought the other man’s fingers to his lips and kissed them.

“Well,” he replied. “We’ve been looking for places in Sam’s neighborhood, and I imagine that it doesn’t get much better than being next door.” Cas smiled and nodded. “And I think you miss living with him more than I do,” Dean laughed.

“It would be nice to be closer,” Castiel commented. “...is it a matter of money? I know we’ve made some plans for other expenses...”

Dean shook his head.

“No, expenses wise we’re fine. We’ve got quite a down payment saved up, and that is separate from the kids’ college money and the money we’ve been saving to take them to Disney, or the regular savings we have just in case.”

Castiel smiled.

“Mary is so excited.” he said. “I don’t see how children seem to come pre-programmed to want to visit Disney world.”

Dean chuckled.

“It is part of child programming, yes,” he replied. He slipped his arm around Castiel’s waist, and the two lay there in silence a moment.

“So,” Castiel began again. Dean raised an eyebrow in interest. “If we were to buy a home and move...would we still be alright... financially?”  
  
Dean’s brow now furrowed in concern.

“Yeah babe,” he assured the Angel. “We’ll be fine. More than fine.” he brought a hand up to his husband’s face, gently caressing his cheek. “What’s on your mind?”

Castiel shrugged slightly, moving incrementally closer to Dean. The hunter moved his hand to rest back on Cas’s hip.

“I was just wondering...” Castiel began softly. “As much as I love this house, we have talked about getting a bigger one that will be our home for a much longer time, where we’ll raise our children together.” Dean grinned a bit at the idea. “And a home next to Sam and Jessica couldn’t be more perfect.”

“If it fits our needs, yeah,” Dean agreed. “The right number of bedrooms and all that. A place for your garden, right?”

Castiel smiled and nodded, letting Dean pull their hips flush together.

“Well,” Cas continued. “...it seems that certain things are aligning, and it’s been rather quiet in heaven...”

Dean’s hand, which had been rubbing small circles into the Angel’s lower back, paused.

“Are you...” he began, hesitantly. “Are talking about another baby?”

“I’m just brining the subject up for discussion again,” Castiel replied. Dean bit his lip, considered the idea. He hadn’t thought about having another child since Daniel was born. Their little family seemed so perfect, but his children were so sweet and good, having another would hardly seem like any trouble.

“It’s worth thinking about,” he told the Angel. “What do you think?”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed slightly as he considered.

“I think it is probably advisable to not put too many years between our children. If we do want four, there will be at least six years between the fourth and Mary... not that I am suggesting the third and fourth come as close together as the first two.”

Dean chuckled, giving a nod.

“I can agree with that,” he said with humor in his tone. He leaned forward, kissing Castiel deeply. “But, we’re not tied to four, you know. I mean, it wasn’t a firm suggestion.”

“You want more?” Castiel asked, slightly incredulous. Dean grimaced.

“I don’t think so.” he replied. “I mean, three or four is fine. If that’s what you want. Or two, if that’s what we get... Our two are pretty damn perfect. ”

Castiel sighed, moving in close to press his cheek against Dean’s chest, letting the hunter wrap him in his arms.

“I agree... but, I like the idea of a big family... not as big as mine, of course, but to be honest... it is hard to imagine little children not Mary and Daniel.” Dean nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of Castiel’s head.

“I know what you mean.”

They were quiet again for a moment, until Castiel stirred, turning away from his husband.

“Good night, Dean,” he whispered. Dean spooned in behind him, resting comfortably against his husband’s back.

“Good night baby,” he replied.

As Dean closed his eyes and tried let himself drift slowly toward sleep, he considered Castiel’s words. Living next door to Sam would be like a dream come true, raising their children together. And what did he think about expanding his own little Winchester brood? He wasn’t sure Cas had any grace left at all, much less enough to have another child, and the last thing Dean wanted was to set up a cycle of disappointment for the Angel. Dean certainly didn’t have any reservations about getting Cas pregnant again. Even though he knew, intellectually, that he wasn’t actually ‘getting him pregnant’, the idea still turned him all kinds of on.

“Dean?” Castiel murmured softly. His words brought Dean to the realization that he was pressing his erection into the Angel’s backside.

“Sorry,” Dean chuckled, rolling onto his back. Castiel turned as well, leaning on his elbow.

“It wasn’t an admonishment...” he commented. Dean gave the Angel a small smile, reaching out, cupping Castiel’s cheek.

“Why didn’t you just say so?” he teased, leaning over and kissing him. Castiel relaxed back onto the mattress, letting Dean lean over him and kiss him deeply. Dean slid a hand up under Castiel’s shirt, sliding his palm over the ridges of his ribcage, his thumb brushing Cas’s hardening nipple. Castiel moaned, wrapping one arm around Dean’s neck and the other around his torso, his hand stroking Dean’s back. They shared several moments of slow, deep kisses until Dean broke away from the Angel’s lips just long enough to coax the shirt over his head, then descended back upon his mouth, his throat, and his chest. Castiel moaned softly, his fingers threading into Dean’s hair.

Cas lifted the blanket so Dean could move completely over him, and he spread his thighs, letting Dean settle there. Dean groaned at the feeling of pressure where their bodies met, and he rolled his hips instinctually against his husband, feeling the length of Cas’s erection brushing against his own. Cas’s hands were under his shirt, pushing the fabric up his chest, his fingertips pressing into the flesh of Dean’s back.

Dean moaned against Castiel’s lips as the Angel wrapped his arms around him, lazily rocking back against the slow thrusting of Dean’s hips. Dean’s shaft was now completely hard and aching to push deep into the body beneath him, and the hunter dropped his hand to tug Cas’s pants down his hips.

Both men paused, turning to the sound of the door creaking softly open. Dean rolled over and they both sat up, looking at the tiny, watery-eyed toddler standing in the doorway.

“What’s the matter, buddy?” Dean asked, turning to Cas who was already getting to his feet. The baby lifted his arms to Castiel, who pulled him up against his chest.

“My pants wet,” Daniel sniffed sadly, resting his head against his father’s shoulder.

“It’s alright,” Castiel spoke soothingly, turning toward the bathroom as Dean got out of bed. The hunter crossed the hall, checking to see if Mary was still asleep before grabbing a pull-up diaper from the changing table. When he returned to the room, he went into the bathroom where Castiel was washing the baby off in the tub, speaking gently. “Don’t cry, beloved, it’s okay. Your pajamas are still dry. Were you dreaming about swimming?”

“Yeah,” Daniel replied, sniffling. Dean gave a smirk watching Cas wrap their baby in a towel and hold him on his lap.

“Did you have fun swimming with DD and Caden today?” the Angel asked, smoothing down his son’s unruly hair. “Did you like the rafts that Uncle Sam got?”

“... yeah,” Daniel replied, grudgingly, almost as if he knew Castiel was trying to divert his attention. “I wike a do-fin...”

“You liked the dolphin,” Castiel repeated. “Was it your favorite?” Daniel nodded, pressing his cheek to Castiel’s bare chest. “Do you want to go to the bookstore tomorrow with daddy and get a book about dolphins? We can read it together.”

Danny sniffed again and nodded.

“I wan books.”

“Good,” Castiel said, hugging the child before setting him on the floor and drying him off. Dean handed him the diaper and Castiel helped Daniel step into it before putting his pajamas back on.

“Come on, buddy,” Dean spoke, hefting the baby into his arms. “Say good night to daddy.”

“No,” Daniel cried, his little face pinched and sad as he held his arms back out to Cas. “I wan daddy.”

“It’s bedtime, bud,” Dean reminded him, watching Castiel take the baby’s hands and gently kiss his face. “Daddy and papa need to sleep. And big boys sleep in their own bed, right?”

“Good night, Daniel,” Castiel spoke, soothing a hand over his son’s hair. “Tomorrow we’ll go the bookstore, okay? Dream about that.”

Dean carried the toddler out of the room and tucked him back into his own bed. When he returned, Castiel was getting back into bed himself. Dean closed the door most of the way before crawling back onto the mattress beside him.

“Now,” he murmured, leaning over Castiel. The Angel smiled up at him. “Where were we?”

Castiel slipped his arms around Dean’s neck, pressing his lips to his husbands as Dean settled over him. They kissed each other softly, attempting to work back up to deep, passionate exchange they were having before the interruption.

Dean sighed, pulling away from his husband when he felt the Angel’s interest slow. They sat quietly in the dark together, listening to the sad, soft crying from across the hall.

“You’re going to spoil him,” Dean commented as he moved to his side of the bed, letting Castiel set up.

“I doubt that,” Cas told him as he left the room. In a moment he was back, carrying Daniel. The toddler was shuddering with each breath, his cheeks tracked with tears. When Cas settled back on his side of the bed, Dean reached out and wiped the tears from Daniel’s face.

“You’re alright, buddy,” Dean told him, leaning over and kissing the child on the forehead. “You know we’re always just across the hall.” he pulled the sheet over Cas and Danny as the Angel settled down with their son against his chest. Cas snuggled the baby, kissing the top of his hair.

“Why’s Danny getta be in here?” Came a tiny, accusatory voice from the doorway. Dean laughed.

“Come here, baby,” he said, pulling Mary into the bed with them. “On second thought,” he continued, rising from the bed. “Come on, Mares. Let’s go try to pee, hm?”

He heard Castiel chuckle, but he thought it was a good idea. While Danny still wore pull-up diapers at bedtime, Mary had graduated to big girl underwear and Dean knew that of all nights for her to wet the bed, it would be when she was laying next to him. Mary didn’t argue, holding on to Dean’s arms so she wouldn’t fall in the big potty.

“Good call,” Dean announced, carrying her back into the room and laying her in the middle of the bed beside Danny. Just as he was about to get back in, Danny raised a tiny hand.

“Paccy,” he pleaded, his wide green eyes still wet with tears. Dean sighed, trudging back across the hall to fish a pacifier out of the diaper bag and returning to the bed. He handed it to Cas, who tucked it into Danny’s mouth before the child cuddled back to his chest and closed his eyes. Dean adjusted the blanket back over everyone, laying down beside Mary who was already quiet in sleep. Dean watched the children a moment, before looking over to Cas and giving the Angel a warm smile. He leaned over and kissed him.

“You’ve made me the happiest man alive, Angel, you know that?”

“Funny,” Castiel replied softly, looking down at his children as he ran a soothing hand over Danny’s back. “I was about to say the same thing....”

~~~~~~~~~~


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I care very much for your happiness, Dean,” Cas told him. Dean gave an amused grunt, his grin returning.  
> “Thanks, babe,” he replied. “Same here.”  
> Castiel’s serious expression remained, and he leveled his gaze on Dean.  
> “The next time we have enough time alone,” he spoke deeply, raising the hair on Dean’s neck. “I will focus on nothing but your pleasure, on serving you the way you prefer, and I will slowly... take my time... counting every freckle on your back.”  
> Dean felt his mouth go dry and his stomach clenched at the implication in those words. He nodded.  
> “That... that sounds a-okay,” he agreed.

The very next week, Sam and Jess’s neighbor did put their house on the market, so Sam quickly set his real estate agent on the task of getting his brother in for a viewing as quickly as possible. The following Saturday, Dean and Cas dropped their children with their aunt and uncle, and went to see the inside of their prospective home. Sam was full of nervous excitement for them, and Dean had to threaten him with bodily harm to keep him from standing on the porch and grinning at them as they walked next door.

“The lawn needs some work,” Dean commented, keeping a hand in Castiel’s as they approached the house. He had seen this home many, many times over the last year. It was beautiful and well maintained, with neat, even hedges lining the facade and a stone path leading to the large front door. Dean had become rather fond of taking care of his small section of grass in front of their little town home, and even though this yard was four times as large as what they currently had, he was already thinking about how he could improve it. But it really didn’t matter to Dean what the house or the yard looked like; it was next to his brother, so therefore, it was perfect.

“Nothing a little feeding won’t cure,” the agent, Alicia, said with a smile as she unlocked the door. “But, this house has plenty of character and new updates.” she pointed out. “No maintenance siding and new windows put in just last year.”

“Hm,” Dean commented, turning to Cas and giving a wag of his eyebrows. Castiel tried not to grin. Dean had explained to him that they shouldn’t look too interested in the house if they wanted a good deal. It was the same strategy he used when buying the Subaru. Of course, with car buying, Dean was also sure that the salespeople would know he was a tough sell to settle for anything less than his perfect Impala.

Alicia gestured them into the house before her, and Dean and Cas stepped inside. The entryway of the house was pretty, with a rack on the wall for coats and a closet to one side. Cas noticed it would be a perfect fit for the little table they had occupying their “family center” in their current house, and he had a bitter-sweet feeling of how odd it would feel to leave the little yellow townhouse that, for the last four years, had been their home. The window above the door and the large picture windows in the living room flooded the house with light, drawing attention to the clean, cream colored carpet and the tall ceilings.

“Is there hardwood under the carpet?” Dean asked, although he didn’t really care. He just knew it was something he was supposed to ask after watching way too many episodes of ‘House Hunters’. Alicia turned to him with a smile, as if what she had to say was better than hardwood.

“There is bamboo flooring under - very environmentally friendly. But the carpets were just put in the first of last year - no smokers or pets in the house. It would be very easy to pull up if you wanted.”

Dean only nodded, following her through the large living space. Cas squeezed his hand and gave a small nod toward the kitchen and dining area, which was backed by a beautiful view through the glass patio doors to the yard beyond. The kitchen and dining room were twice the size of what they currently had, with plenty of space for large family gatherings.

“How many bedrooms?” Dean asked.

“There are three bedrooms, a master suite, and an office.” Alicia told them as they headed to the left, into the bedroom side of the house. “Plus two full baths, one at the front of the hall, and one at the back.”

“An office?” Cas asked, taking a peek in at a standard three piece washroom before being shepherded to the first of the three bedrooms. He turned to look at Dean. “You won’t have to work downstairs anymore.”

Dean nodded in agreement. After he was with the FBI for a year, he qualified to be able to work from home on occasion. He set up an office space in a corner of Sam’s old bedroom, and the children had taken over the rest. It may be nice to have a quiet area to himself.

“It’s a beautiful room,” Alicia told Cas as they walked. “Plenty of space for you to use it as a guest bed. It technically can be listed as a bedroom since it has a window and a closet, but the closet is on the modest size, so the current residents use it for their home office. It’s just down by the master.”

The bedrooms at the front of the hall were of standard size, but still larger then anything they had now. The first two bedrooms were currently being occupied by what appeared to be two teenagers, and the third contained some slightly dusty gym equipment. After looking in at the second bathroom, Alicia showed them the office. To Cas, it looked like just another bedroom, with a large desk instead of a bed. There was a closet, and both Dean and Cas exchanged amused looks that Alicia and the current resident’s idea of modest was what they had been living with quite comfortably. A small window faced the back yard, with a serene view of the large trees and a couple of lilac bushes by the fence line. Cas smiled up at Dean.

“Wait until you see the master.” Alicia told them happily. “They’ve made quite a few updates. Right this way.”

Hand still clasped with his husband’s, Dean followed Alicia across the hall to the master bedroom. It was quite large; like many rooms in this house, twice the size of what they currently had. There was a huge walk-in closet that could possibly hold more clothes than their family owned together, but it was the bathroom that really made an impression. Aside from a large, soaking style Jacuzzi tub, there was a spa shower.

“Wow,” Dean commented, his eyebrows raised. “If it’s got a heated toilet seat, I’m sold.”

The agent laughed at the comment. Castiel thought her laughter was humorous, since he didn’t think Dean was joking at all. He watched patiently as Dean checked the water pressure and checked the pipes beneath the sink as he had done in the previous two bathrooms.

“Can we see the yard?” the Angel asked.

“Of course,” Alicia agreed enthusiastically. She detailed the square footage and features of the landscape as they walked back through the house to the French doors off of the dining area.  
  
Just outside the door was a well maintained patio space made of the same grey stone lining the front walk, and Dean imagined how their patio furniture and fire pit would look setting there. Castiel was looking at the large trees, the flat expanse of trimmed grass and the dark colored wood fence separating the yard from Sam’s. Dean sidled up behind the Angel, resting his chin on Cas’s shoulder.

“What do you think?” he asked quietly, looking out across the yard with him. “Is it too big? Too small?”

“Not too small, definitely,” Castiel commented, “Possibly just right... the office could certainly be a fifth bedroom someday, if needed... and there is so much space for a garden...” he looked to the neighboring yard where Sam’s dog ran happily up and down the fence, barking for their attention and wagging her tail. “And Jimmy only lives three houses over. We’d have so much space for your mom and Bobby to stay, until those bedrooms are occupied... I mean, _if_ they are ever occupied.”

Dean slid an arm around the Angel, giving him a quick squeeze.

“Dean, Castiel?”

The two turned back to the house where Alicia stood in the threshold of the patio door. She smiled at them in a knowing way, as if she knew that there was no way Dean was going to say ‘no’ to living next door to his brother, or the look in his husband’s eyes when he saw the yard space. She gave them a nod of her head back toward the house.

“You haven’t even seen the family room.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Cas returned next door immediately after they finished the tour. Sam opened the door with a wide, nervous grin.

“Well?” he asked, standing aside so his brother and brother-in-law could pass. “How’d it look? Did you make an offer? Did she say when you might be able to close? I mean, if you made an offer-”

“Calm down, Sam,” Dean replied, cutting off Sam’s hurried speech and sighing heavily. “Where’re the kids?”

“In the playroom with Jessica,” Sam replied, and he lead the two into the kitchen. “You want a beer? Iced tea?” he frowned, looking in at the beverages in the fridge. “No beer, so... juice? Tea?”

“Tea’s fine,” Dean replied, taking a seat at the kitchen bar and Castiel settled on the stool beside his. Sam poured two large glasses of tea and set them before Dean and Cas. He leaned on the counter, waiting for Dean to elaborate on their morning, his face expectant.

“Well?”

“Well,” Dean began, leaning back in his seat. “It was really nice inside. It’s got a lot of bedrooms, more than we really need right now.” He looked to Cas, giving a small smile. “But, the yard was great, the kitchen was really nice, and the family room had ‘home theater’ written all over it.”

“That sounds promising,” Sam smiled, looking excited. His grin was fixed as he asked. “So, what about the price?”

Dean sighed.

“It’s at the high end of our price range,” he admitted, shaking his head. “Which I can’t believe is a price range I would have every considered in a million years, but... _within_ the price range. So...” he took a breath, and exhaled with a smile. “We submitted an offer.”  
  
“Yes!” Sam exclaimed, clenching his fists in excitement. “Did she say when you should hear back?”

“She said she’d try to get back to us by Monday,” Dean replied. He seemed weary, and Castiel reached over to pat his leg supportively. “It sucks when they know you want it, ya know? Because living on this street would just be killer.” he sighed again, taking a drink of his tea. “I guess we’ll see.”

“That would just be so awesome,” Sam commented. “We would see each other every day again. We could carpool. We could have dinner more often. The kids would see each other more.” Dean nodded and Castiel smiled at the idea. “I know it’s a little early, but you guys should stay for lunch. If you don’t have anything planned.”

Dean turned to his husband and shrugged. Castiel mirrored the expression.

“I didn’t bring anything for Daniel,” he commented, slightly unsure. Sam shook his head, pushing away from the counter and turning back to the fridge.

“That’s no problem.” Sam assured him. “We have plenty of vegetables. Jessica made a fruit salad yesterday that we still have a lot of.” he pulled a container from the fridge, showing it to the two men. “This three bean salad is made with an egg-free mayo.”

“Then you have nothing for _me_ ,” Dean laughed. Sam chuckled as well, but didn’t get a chance to continue. They turned when the sound of little feet on kitchen tile drew their attention. “Speak of the devil.” Dean said, grinning at the way the child immediately lifted his arms to Castiel, and the Angel pulled their son up onto his lap. Sam smiled at his nephew, leaning back on the counter to speak to him.

“You wanna stay for lunch, Danny?” he asked. “I’m sure Grace would really like it if you stayed.”

Daniel looked out to the living room where the large, yellow lab was spread out across two cushions on the sofa. He stared at the dog a moment before he turned back to Sam and nodded. Sam’s smile widened.

“Awesome.”

Castiel remained sitting at the kitchen bar holding his baby while Dean and Sam worked on putting together a meal that would be palatable for all present. It wasn’t long before the two were joking and laughing, teasing each other about everything they could. The brother’s laughter brought Jessica, Mary, and DD from the playroom and the family soon settled around the table to eat. Afterward, the brothers cleared the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen before disappearing into the family room to vegetate in front of the X-box while Castiel and Jessica entertained the children.

“Just think,” Sam spoke, his brow furrowing as he directed his computerized character to crouch behind an overturned Humvee as Dean’s character pummeled the side with bullets. “Days like this will be so much easier to arrange, ya know? You’ll just have to cross the lawn.”

“Keep your boots off my lawn, Winchester,” Dean replied, pausing a moment to give an amused laugh as his grenade sent Sam’s character spinning into the air. “I think it would be so awesome to be this close,” he admitted, setting his controller down as Sam reset the level. “I mean, the house is _nice_. I’m pretty sure it’s three times the space we have now. So much nicer than anything I ever thought I could end up in...And the yard?” he shook his head, taking a deep breath. “Cas could have the bigger garden that I know he wants, I could get the kids a swing set...” he sighed. “We can borrow your dog so Cas won’t ask me to get one of our own.”

Sam laughed heartily at the comment.

“I’m sure Gracie would enjoy that,” he replied.

Sam started up the next level, and they were not five minutes in to the campaign when they were interrupted by Dean’s daughter.

“Papa,” she said, and Dean paused the game to turn his attention to her. “Daddy said I have to come ask you...”

“Ask me what, baby?” he replied, letting her climb into his lap. She looked up at him with her wide blue eyes and he could see she was turning on the charm to get her way. He braced himself.

“Daddy said to come ask you if we could stay and swim.”

“Is that all?” Dean laughed, giving her a pat on the head. “I’d love to say yes, baby, but we don’t have our swim suits.”

“Aww,” Mary sighed, and Dean frowned at her disappointment.

“Maybe tomorrow,” he told her, giving her a hug.

“I think you guys left your wet stuff here last time,” Sam told them, pushing himself to his feet. “Let me go check the laundry room.”

“Yay!” Mary exclaimed, jumping out of Dean’s lap and chasing Sam from the room. Dean watched his brother and his daughter disappear into the hallway and he sighed, leaning back against the sofa he and Sam were sitting in front of. He sat a moment, quietly, as a moment of surreality passed over him. He was used to these moments, but they were happening less frequently as he got used to his new life. But they still came, especially during moments where he was feeling particularly content.

The moment slipped away when he heard his daughter cheer and she came rushing back into the room, falling into his arms.

“Papa, my 'kini is here!” she told him happily. “And Danny’s shorts! Can we swim, papa? Can we swim?”

“If your daddy said it was okay,” Dean told her. “I say it’s okay.”  
  
Mary kissed his cheek and jumped to her feet, rushing from the room, calling to her brother and cousin. Dean gave a soft laugh, getting to his feet and following her back down the hall. The living room was filled with happily stripping children getting redressed in swimming attire.

“Okay, hold on,” Sam was telling them. “Let me go get my trunks on and we’ll go out. Just a second.”

Dean clapped Sam on his back as he passed, and Castiel gave him a weary look.

“Sorry babe,” Dean spoke quietly, setting down beside the Angel. “Did we have something pressing back home?”

“No,” Castiel assured him. “Nothing is more pressing than our children’s happiness.”

“Sam and I can watch them for a couple hours if you and Dean have things to do,” Jessica told them. “We don’t have any plans, and Sam loves having them around. And they’ll probably spend at least a couple hours in the pool. Don’t worry, I have plenty of sunscreen.”

“I’d hate to inconvenience you,” Castiel began, looking unsure. Jessica shook her head.

“No inconvenience at all,” she assured him. “We’ll keep your little ones occupied, we’ll put them down for a nap, and you guys can come back over for dinner. How’s that sound?”

Castiel looked to Dean, and Dean shrugged, nodding his head. Castiel turned back to his sister-in-law.

“We appreciate it,” he told her, rising to his feet. “We’ll return around five. But please, call us if the children need anything.”

“We’ll take good care of your babies, Cas,” she assured him, standing and giving him a hug. “Just leave your diaper bag and your worries at the door.”

Cas smiled, shaking his head and turning from Jessica to address his children.

“Mary, Daniel... daddy and papa are going to complete some errands,” he told them, kneeling down to speak directly to them. Both came to stand in front of him, looking attentively into his face. “Please be good for aunt Jessica and uncle Sam.”

“Yes, daddy,” Mary agreed, reaching up to hug him. Daniel followed her lead, holding tightly to Cas’s neck. Castiel brought a hand to the child’s hair.

“Be good, beloved,” he said, pressing a kiss to the little boy’s temple before turning to press another kiss to Mary’s cheek. “Have fun swimming and playing with Grace.”

“Ok,” Danny said softly, accepting Cas’s last kiss. Castiel gave a pat to the child’s head as he stood, turning to Sam and Jessica.

“Thank you,” he spoke. Dean nodded, placing a hand on Cas’s back to direct him toward the door.

“Yeah, thanks guys,” he echoed. “You want us to bring anything for dinner?”

“No,” Jessica assured him. “We’re fine.”

Dean nodded, giving a wink to his brother who was mouthing “beer” over his wife’s head. He and Cas gave final goodbyes to their children before leaving the house and getting into the car.

“Alright,” Dean spoke, looking behind himself as he pulled out onto the street. “Where is errand number one?”

“We need to go to the grocery store,” Castiel replied. “And we have to pick up your work clothes from the dry cleaner.”

“Gotcha,” Dean replied, steering toward their preferred grocery store. He chuckled, giving a sideways glance to his husband. “When’s the last time we got to go to the store together without the kids?” he asked. Castiel smiled and shrugged, and Dean only grinned wider. “I’m going to spend twenty minutes at the butcher counter.”

Castiel shook his head, rolling his eyes at Dean’s humor. He pulled out his cell phone and brought up the running grocery list he kept so he would always know what items were needed when they stopped. As much as Dean joked about taking his time while they were unfettered by children, he and Cas were able to split up to get the shopping done in a fast and efficient manner. After a quick stop for dry cleaning and the post office, Dean and Cas returned home to put the groceries away and finish the chores that they had postponed for the house tour.

Dean started on cleaning the kitchen, while Castiel busied himself with finishing the laundry he had started that morning. There was an slight meditative quality to folding the tiny clothes, which seemed to be in almost endless supply. Castiel stacked little shorts and tee shirts on the coffee table, listening to Dean sing along with the music he was playing on his phone as he worked. Cas continued to fold until the laundry basket was empty before placing the clothes back inside for transporting upstairs. When he returned back from putting the clothes away, he paused at the bottom of the stairs, watching his husband.

Dean was moving around the kitchen in his socked feet, dancing slightly to the music as he put away the dishes from the dishwasher and wiped down the counters. Castiel admired the way the hunter’s hips moved as he danced, the distinct bow of his stance adding a sexy swagger to his movements. The sleeve of Dean’s tee shirt were short enough to show the flex of his biceps as reached to place dishes in the cupboard. He turned and caught Castiel watching him. He grinned at the Angel.

“Hey baby,” he said, blushing slightly. “Sorry, the uh, music always gets the better of me.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed, and his head tilted to the side as he crossed the room to stand before the hunter. Dean’s brow furrowed as he looked down at the other man.

“Cas?” he asked, bringing his hands to the Angel’s waist as Castiel gently cupped his face. Dean closed his eyes, submitting to Cas’s gentle instruction to lean down, and they kissed softly. Dean gave a small sigh when they parted. “What was that for?” he asked.

Castiel’s eyes squinted a moment, but the corner of his mouth twitched in a smile.

“Because I wanted it,” he replied simply. “And because I can.”

Dean smiled widely, slipping his hands around Castiel’s back as the Angel rested his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean kissed his husband gently once more, absently massaging Castiel’s hips. Castiel leaned in to Dean’s body as the hunter pulled him closer.

The music playing from Dean’s phone changed from an upbeat rock tune to a soft, flowing ballad. Castiel looked to the phone, his head tilting to the side.

“This song,” he said. Dean gave a small laugh, shrugging.

“Yeah, I..” he began self consciously. “It reminds me of you now, so I added it to my playlist...”

Castiel turned back to him, looking up into Dean’s eyes as the music filled the quiet kitchen.

_Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling_  
_Can you feel my heart beating_  
_Do you understand_  
_Do you feel the same_  
_Am I only dreaming_  
_Is this burning an eternal flame_

“This song reminds you of me?” Castiel asked, amused. Dean smiled.

“Well, yeah.” he admitted. “I mean, every time it comes on in the car, you turn it up and you comment that you like it. I’ve never really been a ‘girls 80s pop’ sort of guy, but it... it’s sort of grown on me because of you.” Dean blushed again under Castiel’s pleased smile. “So?” he scoffed. “Why do you like it so much?”

Castiel’s expression softened and he looked up into Dean’s eyes.

_I believe it's meant to be, darlin'_  
_I watch you when you are sleeping_  
_You belong with me_  
_Do you feel the same_  
_Am I only dreaming_  
_Or is this burning an eternal flame_

“Because,” Castiel told him. “It’s reminds me of you.”

“Me?” Dean asked, surprised. For the life of him, he couldn’t imagine why a sappy, romantic love song would remind Castiel of him. “How so?”

Castiel appeared thoughtful a moment, and he tightened his grip around Dean’s neck.

“I suppose it’s more accurate to say it reminds me of my love for you,” he clarified. “An eternal, consuming love that simultaneously broke me... and made me whole...” Dean felt his chest constrict as he looked down into the Angel’s beautiful, blue eyes. He wondered if there would ever come a day when he wasn’t in awe of this man and the overwhelming depth of his love. Castiel continued, seriously. “Is that not what music is supposed to do? Touch your heart through relateable experience and oftentime rhyming lyrics?”

Dean laughed out loud, pulling the Angel in tightly and swaying with him to the song.

“You mean to tell me,” Dean spoke, his cheek pressed to Castiel’s “That all these years I’ve been putting up with this sappy love song because it made me think of you, was because all these years this sappy love song was reminding you of me?”

“Life is funny, sometimes,” the Angel sighed. Castiel rested his head on Dean’s shoulder, letting the hunter lead their shuffling steps on the tile floor as Dean’s strong hands stroked his back and the heartfelt strains of the love song filled the small kitchen.

_Say my name_  
_Sun shines through the rain_  
_A whole life so lonely_  
_And then come and ease the pain_  
_don't want to lose this feeling, oh_

Dean ran his hand idly up and down Castiel’s spine as they danced, and he closed his eyes at the feel of Castiel’s rough fingertips stroking the nape of his neck. Even though the majority of their life was filled with warm, happy moments and blissful contentment, they didn’t have enough moments like this as far as Dean was concerned. He made a mental note to change that.

_Close your eyes, give me your hand_  
_Do you feel my heart beating_  
_Do you understand_  
_Do you feel the same_  
_Am I only dreaming_  
_Or is this burning an eternal flame_

As the song came to a close, Dean reached out and stopped the music, knowing that there weren’t too many of those types of songs in this playlist to sustain the moment. He turned back to Castiel, pulling the Angel back into his arms. They were quiet a moment, just watching each other.

“You know,” Dean commented with a small smile, “It’s not often we are alone here without the kids...”

“That’s true,” Castiel replied, mirroring the smile. “There are probably... any number of things we could accomplish that we normally don’t have the opportunity to, constrained as we are by time and our attention elsewhere...”

“True,” Dean agreed, his smile widening. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Castiel took a deep breath, slowly nodding his head. Dean gave a wag of his eyebrows, taking his husband’s hand in his and pulling him from the room. Castiel climbed the stairs behind Dean, letting the hunter lead him into the bedroom. Their bedroom was quiet and dim, lit only from the light filtering in through the dark curtains. Dean let go of Castiel’s hand and watched the Angel begin to undo the button on his pants as Dean did the same.

Once down to his boxers and tee shirt, Dean folded his clothes and sat them on top of the dresser, crossing to the bed where Castiel was pulling back the comforter on their neatly made bed. Dean slid in beside his husband, picking his phone up from where he placed it on the nightstand.

“Hour?” he asked, as Castiel pulled his pillows into a comfortable place.

“Twenty minutes is more effective.” the Angel replied, turning on his side to face Dean. “But I’m not adverse.”

Dean smiled, setting the alarm on his phone and settling in beside Cas.

“Alright, one hour it is,” he said. “And after a glorious nap, we will certainly have time to watch something that is not animated, involves singing, or is sciencey-but-hosted-by-morons-on-a-sugar-high.”

“I don’t think they’re morons,” Castiel mused, taking a deep contented breath as he nosed the top of Dean’s soft hair, holding the hunter in his arms. “They just behave moronically to keep children interested... which is odd, since the children are rather intrigued by the science all by itself.”

“Hm,” Dean replied, but didn’t comment further as he found himself a comfortable position wrapped in his husband’s embrace. Cas’s skin was warm, and Dean could hear the rhythmic thumping of his heart as the other man gently ran fingers through his hair. It was a natural reaction for Dean to let his own hands roam over Castiel’s body as they snuggled beneath the sheets, and he could feel the Angel sigh when Dean’s palm settled in the small of his back.

The room was quiet, and the lined curtains did their job blocking out a majority of the sun. The thick, navy fabric swayed lightly in the breeze of the AC blowing up from the floor, and a few beams of light would flit across the two men cacooned on the bed. Dean rubbed his cheek softly against the firm muscle of Cas’s chest, pressing his ear to the thudding heartbeat. Cas’s chest swelled with his next breath, and Dean felt the other man relax further into the mattress and tighten his embrace.

Dean lifted his head, his lips brushing the line of Cas’s jaw. The Angel’s eyes were closed, but Dean watched the smile that turned his mouth. Dean grinned, continuing to place soft, warm kisses to his husband’s jaw and throat, his hands kneading his muscular flesh beneath the Angel’s shirt. Cas smelled clean and warm, and Dean breathed the scent deeply into lungs as he let his lips map the tendon of the Angel’s neck. Castiel sighed quietly.

“So, I was thinking...” Dean murmured, his hand slipping down to close over the curve of Castiel’s ass. Cas made a sound of interest, his eyes sliding open ever so slightly. Dean pressed another warm kiss to his husband’s throat. “Naps are really, _really_ nice things that we don’t really get much chance to enjoy these days.” he began, pressing another kiss to where Cas’s neck met his shoulder. “But, along with showering alone... and not sharing the food off our plate and watching R-rated movies before 9pm and not spending more than five uninterrupted minutes in the bathroom,” Castiel was chuckling now, and Dean continued to pepper the Angel’s skin with kisses in between his words. “I can think of one other thing that we don’t exactly get to do at our leisure...”

“Oh?” Castiel asked, finally opening his eyes and rolling his hips toward Dean’s. Dean leaned up on his elbow, looking down into Castiel’s face.

“Yeah...” his eyes traveled over his husband’s face before settling on his lips. He leaned in to kiss Cas. “I’m not saying we nix the nap, I’m just saying we... postpone it for a bit.”

Castiel tilted his head, rolling onto his back and bringing his hands to Dean’s face.

“What did you have in mind, Mr. Winchester?” he asked. Dean leaned down, gently pressing his lips to the Angel’s as he let his hand wander over Cas’s muscular abdomen and further down beneath the waistband of his boxers. Castiel smiled against his husband’s lips, bringing his hands up to softly card through Dean’s hair as they kissed. There movements were slow; touching and caressing each other as if they had all the time in the world.

Having children didn’t exactly hinder their love life. Cas and Dean spent a decent amount of time getting to be affectionate with each other during the day, cuddling on the sofa or sharing goodbye and hello kisses. And sex didn’t disappear once their children became mobile. They became creative and efficient with what time they did have alone, and neither could complain about that. But opportunities like this, to savor slow kisses and to take their time exploring bare skin, were unfortunately rare.

Dean sat up on his knees, pulling his shirt over his head before leaning over Cas to grab the lube from the nightstand. Castiel sat up, removing his own shirt and folding it neatly across his lap before doing the same with Dean’s. He sat them aside before Dean had a chance to pull him back to the bed.

“So,” Dean purred, mouthing his way along the shell of Castiel’s ear and massaging the warm flesh of the Angel’s chest. “You got a preference for how you want this to go down?”

Castiel smiled softly, shifting on the mattress as he pushed his boxers down his hips.

“You know I do,” he replied, letting Dean pull the garment the rest of the way down his legs. Dean chuckled, laying back at Castiel’s side.

“You don’t say,” he replied, nuzzling the Angel’s throat, placing more warm kisses on Cas’s skin. Castiel made a pleased sound deep in his throat, his hand’s roaming over Dean’s shoulders and back as the hunter continued to lavish attention on Cas’s neck and chest, dropping his hand between the Angel’s legs.

Castiel urged Dean’s lips back to his, and they kissed deeply as Dean’s fingers sought entrance to his husband’s body. Cas moaned into their kiss; Dean’s unhurried pace and gentle stroking warmed the Angel and relaxed the tight muscles of his entrance. Dean took his time, alternating between soft strokes and deep presses of his fingers to get Castiel relaxed and pliant and wanting. Castiel was soon hot with arousal under Dean’s attention, his shaft thick and weeping, and his body ached with longing, but he was lost to to the beauty of Dean’s lips and sensual sweep of his tongue. Cas’s fingers slid through the hunter’s hair as they kissed before dropping to glide over the back of his neck, the swell of his shoulders and biceps, down the soft trail of hair beneath his navel before closing around the steely flesh of his shaft. Dean moaned appreciatively as Castiel slowly massaged his already hard length.

Dean grinned at the way Castiel sighed when he broke from their kiss, and the hunter began to press sweet kisses to Cas’s chin and down his throat as he moved over him. Castiel watched Dean contentedly through half-lidded eyes as the hunter kneeled between his thighs, slowly stroking another measure of clear lubricant over his erection. Dean grinned at the gorgeous creature laid out before him, the way Castiel’s chest rose and fell with each heavy breath, his chest and cheeks flushed with desire. But most importantly, the look of complete and utter love in his beautiful, blue eyes. Cas held his arms out to his husband, wrapping them around Dean’s broad, muscular back as he settled back over him. Dean shifted slightly, kissing along Castiel’s throat as he guided himself into the Angel’s body.

Castiel grunted softly, closing his eyes to enjoy the moment when Dean’s body connected with his. Every time with Dean was like a beautiful, sensory overload of love and pleasure. And while Castiel preferred these slow, languid encounters to the brief efficiency that had become their new norm, Dean knew how to make the most of every second they were given, never leaving the Angel wanting. Castiel’s neck arched and he gave a low moan of pleasure that was damn near obscene when the hunter hit the mark, and Dean pulled his arms in beneath the Angel’s shoulders, holding him close as he began the steady, slow roll of his hips. Castiel gasped, and Dean swallowed the sound with a kiss.

Dean took his time, focusing on each long withdrawal and every deep forward press as he and Cas moved together. Their kissing was slower now, mere gentle brushes of lips when they were not staring deep into each others eyes, sharing quiet, shallow breaths and soft smiles. They could’ve chosen to do a dozen different things they normally didn’t get to do now with the kids across the hall or sleeping between them, but this was missed most - lingering together; enjoying each movement, each sensation, each breath.

Dean loved the sounds Castiel made when he was focused on the sensations of lovemaking, the breathy sighs and the soft grunts were erotic music to Dean’s ears. Dean found his body reacted with instinct to compel those sounds again and again, his abdomen tensing as he rolled his hips to stroke Castiel’s prostate with each pass. Cas’s expression was always beautiful torture as Dean rocked him closer to completion, and Dean was not disappointed by the awed look of ecstasy currently on his husband’s face.

“I love you,” Castiel breathed sharply, his hips pressing back more insistently to meet each of Dean’s lazy thrusts. “I... love you..”

“I know,” Dean panted in reply, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he nodded. His own breath hitched before he could continue. “Love you, too...”

As much as he wanted to close his eyes and give in to the pressure pressing on his balls, Dean kept his gaze on his Angel. Castiel’s eyes were squinting incrementally more closed and his jaw trembling with each heavy breath. Dean’s name was on his lips when Cas squeezed his eyes shut, grimacing against the clench of his body as his orgasm hit. Dean shortened his strokes, feeling Castiel’s body begin to relax before his own release shook him. The hunter had his forehead pressed to Cas’s shoulder as the final shudder passed through him, and he sighed heavily.

“Wow,” he whispered, catching the corner of Cas’s lips with his own before the Angel turned and kissed him properly. Just the sound of his lips meeting Castiel’s made Dean want more, and they spent several happy moments kissing each other down from the intensity of release. Dean broke from Cas, shaking his head and licking his lips. “Wow.”

“Indeed,” Castiel sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he felt Dean shift, and the slow withdrawal of Dean’s shaft left him feeling spent and empty. Castiel lay with a hand over his chest, feeling the heavy thumping of his human heart as Dean rose from the bed and crossed to the bathroom. He kept his eyes on the ceiling as he focused on the slowing of his breath, listening to the running water as Dean washed up. It was only a couple minutes before his husband rejoined him on the bed, and Castiel let the younger man dutifully wipe him down before being pulled into his arms. He rested his head on Dean’s chest, now listening to the beat beneath the hunters skin.

They lay together quietly a moment, Dean gently brushing his fingers through the front of Cas’s hair.

“I feel that was rather selfish of me,” Castiel commented, stifling a small yawn. Dean chuckled.

“How do you work that?” he asked.

“Well,” Cas considered, looking up into his husband’s face. “We should have at least had a little more discussion on what _you_ would have preferred... what you wanted to do.”

“Baby,” Dean replied, pressing a kiss to the Angel’s upturned face. “We just did what I wanted to do, so don’t give that one more thought.”

Castiel grimaced, accepting one more kiss from Dean before replying.

“I’m not sure I’m completely convinced.” he replied, resting his cheek back against Dean’s chest. He smiled when he felt Dean press another kiss to the top of his head, and Castiel shifted closer to his husband’s warm, bare skin.

The Angel was starting to learn just how easy it was for humans to fall prey to the sin of greed. Dean was such a skilled, attentive, and enthusiastic lover, that Castiel secretly wondered if he had become, possibly, slightly greedy in bed. Dean was always eager to accommodate him, and seemed pleased and satisfied himself, so Castiel didn’t think to push himself to consider the issue. But it wasn’t just in the bedroom that Castiel had some concerns. Dean worked so hard to provide a stable, comfortable, and happy home for his family, that Castiel worried that the hunter didn’t think enough about himself. He wanted Dean to be as fulfilled and happy as he was. He wanted Dean to have everything he wanted. And he knew Dean wanted a bigger family. And Castiel knew that was one more thing he was greedy for; he wanted to give Dean more children, but he also wanted that for himself too.

“What’s on your mind, babe?” Dean asked, running a hand through his husband’s hair. The Angel sighed heavily, tightening his arm around Dean.

“I don’t want to ruin this moment,” he replied. “Let’s just enjoy this... get our nap...”

“We can do both,” Dean assured him with a grin, rubbing a hand over the swell of Castiel’s bicep. “Ain’t nothing you can do to ruin how awesome that just was.” Castiel smiled in spite of himself, and Dean jostled him playfully. “Now, what’s on your mind?”

Castiel sighed heavily once again, pressing his lips together a moment before he spoke.

“I don’t have enough grace left to remove the sigils....” he said quietly. Dean’s smile faded, and he looked down at the man in his arms. Castiel kept his face downturned.

“We could talk to your brother.” Dean suggested. “See what he can do...”

Castiel made a soft sound of dissent, shaking his head slightly.

“If I don’t have the grace to remove the sigils, it’s unlikely I have the grace left to... to sustain a life within me.” he replied, his voice dropping slightly as he continued. “Or even create one, even within you....I may not have any left at all.”

Dean tightened his grip on Cas, wrapping both his arms around him and holding him close.

“It’s going to be okay, babe,” Dean assured him, pressing a kiss to Cas’s hair. “It’s going to be okay. It’s not the end.”

“I know,” Castiel replied, taking a deep breath. “We’ve been blessed with so much as it is, I suppose it would be greed to expect more.”

“I don’t mean like that,” Dean told him. “I just mean... we don’t know what the future holds. We don’t know what else is in store for us.”

“True,” Castiel agreed. He was quiet a moment more before speaking. “Jeff and I were talking about children the other day.” he began. Dean looked down at the Angel, interested. “He mentioned that since we already had a daughter and a son, that we were probably quite content with the size of our family. I did tell him that we had thought about expanding, and he asked if we were going to use the same surrogate as Mary and Daniel...”

Dean gave a soft snort of laughter, shaking his head.

“I sometimes feel a little bad that we just can’t come out and tell them.” he said.

“I know,” Castiel agreed. “I said we hadn’t definitively decided. But,” Cas turned his head so he could look up at Dean. “He did offer to put us in touch with the adoption agency and attorney he and Mark went through when they adopted Tabitha.”

“That’s kind of them,” Dean commented. He and Cas had always discussed adoption as option, even before they had been blessed with Daniel. He knew any kid would be lucky to have Cas for a dad; once the Angel had warmed up to the gentle care needed to be a parent to little Mary, he had excelled in the field. He was almost too perfect as a parent. Dean was pretty sure it was part of their job to give their children at least one traumatic event to make their adulthood sufficiently dysfunctional, but Cas was doing a ridiculously great job at being a nurturing, loving father. Dean wasn’t really surprised that Cas was excelling at parenting, he was the perfect husband and partner. Dean could not imagine feeling more supported or care for or loved, and he wanted to be the same for Cas. He wanted Cas to be equally as happy and content. “What did you say?”

“I said that we would appreciate the information,” Castiel replied. Dean could feel the Angel sigh, his warm body relaxing further against his. “He did warn us it was a bit of an expense.”

“Money is no problem,” Dean assured him. Castiel gave a small shrug, and Dean soothingly rubbed his arm. Dean wracked his brain for a way to cheer his husband up. “So, I was thinking...” he began, taking a deep breath. “If we get this house, we’re going to have so much more yard room. I swear it’s four times the size of our yard right now.”

“We’ll have a much bigger garden,” Castiel commented, stifling a yarn.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed. “And, ya know, lots of space for the kids to run around and use up some of that immense supply of energy.”

“That’s an inexhaustible resource,” Castiel replied with a soft chuckle. Dean smiled.

“Yeah...” he cleared his throat. “So maybe, with all that space - and the kids being a good age, getting a little bigger, handling a little more responsibility - we might, you know, think about getting them a... a pet.”

Castiel shifted in Dean’s arms, leaning up to look down upon his husband. His brow was furrowed, but his lips were turned in an amused smile.

“Oh Dean,” the Angel spoke affectionately, leaning down to kiss his husband’s mouth. “You needn’t be so determined to cheer me up. I’m not unhappy.”

“What do you mean?” Dean laughed, pulling Castiel back down to his side. “I’m serious.”  
  
“You hate animals, Dean,” Cas reminded him. “But I am supremely pleased that you would make such a suggestion in an effort to improve my mood.”

Dean made a scoffing sound, as if to refute Castiel’s ridiculous, however accurate, statement. He tightened his grip on Cas, pressing a kiss to his wavy hair and shifting so the Angel could rest a leg between his own. He didn’t know how long they lay there together before Castiel drifted to sleep, but Dean felt he was awake for much longer, staring at the ceiling and contemplating their situation. Mary and Daniel were the best damn kids on the planet, and their lives together as a family was better than he could have dreamed. Yeah, he knew he and Cas both wanted a houseful of kids, but for a dude married to a dude vessel, they really had been blessed thus far with two of their own. Being able to give a good home to a child in need, that seemed very Cas to him.

Dean did finally fall asleep with Cas wrapped in his arms, but too soon his phone was cranking out a rock tune and buzzing on the nightstand to signal the end of their nap. Castiel, predictably, woke with a groan and a frown, but allowed Dean to coax him into the shower with promises of kisses and coffee. Both tried to put the sad thoughts out of their heads. There was no use thinking of it now, when they weren’t sure

“We have to make a pit stop before he go back to Sam’s,” Dean told Cas as they dressed. “I promised I’d pick up some beer.”

“You _agreed_ to pick up beer,” Castiel replied with a small smile. “I don’t remember a promise.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean began, pausing a moment as he considered his next words. His shoulders slumped slightly and he grimaced. “It’s been a while and I just really want beer, babe.”

Castiel chuckled, and Dean grinned playfully, taking the Angel’s hand and leading him from the bedroom. Castiel put his shoes on by the front door as Dean went to check that the rest of the house was locked up. He joined the Angel in the living room, giving him a wide smile as he jangled the keys in his hand.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road,” he announced happily, earning a smile from Castiel. As Dean passed, Castiel caught his hand, halting him before he could leave the house. Dean’s smile faded at the serious look now on his husband’s face. “What is it, babe?” he asked, concerned. Castiel slowly licked his lips.

“I care very much for your happiness, Dean,” Cas told him. Dean gave an amused grunt, his grin returning.

“Thanks, babe,” he replied. “Same here.”

Castiel’s serious expression remained, and he leveled his gaze on Dean.

“The next time we have enough time alone,” he spoke deeply, raising the hair on Dean’s neck. “I will focus on nothing but your pleasure, on serving you the way you prefer, and I will slowly... take my time... counting every freckle on your back.”

Dean felt his mouth go dry and his stomach clenched at the implication in those words. He nodded.

“That... that sounds a-okay,” he agreed. Castiel smiled, leaning up to kiss Dean’s mouth before preceding him from the house. Dean watched the Angel walk away in awe, a blush warming his face. He was going to buy the best beer possible, guaranteeing Sam would owe him one more free day of babysitting.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Castiel’s real estate agent got back to them Saturday evening, and they learned the lovely experience of the ‘counter offer’. Castiel watched Dean frown at a piece of paper he was scribbling numbers on as Alicia gave him the particulars over the phone, but he was relieved to see the hunter smile as he told her what they would offer in return, and Dean clapped him on the thigh and told him to keep his fingers crossed. Once again, the promise was news by Monday.

They spent Sunday enjoying a leisurely day at home, snuggled on the sofa in pajamas and eating cereal as they watched cartoons in the morning. After getting dressed, Dean played with the kids in the yard while Castiel tended his garden, and afterward Dean made his famous hamburgers for lunch. He had to assure Danny three times that his burger was made of beans and veggies before the child would begin to eat. Mary, on the other hand, devoured hers with the same near-obscene delight as Castiel, and Dean had to admit it made him feel more than just a bit of pride.

Late in the afternoon, Dean reclined on the sofa trying to read a book to Mary, who was snuggled at his side, while holding Danny on his lap. The child was reclined against his father’s chest, slowly scrolling through pictures of toys on Dean’s phone. As Dean read, Mary would turn the pages.

“In an old house in Paris, that was covered with vines,” Dean read, holding his son against his chest. “Lived twelve little girls in two straight lines. They left the house at half-past nine in two straight lines, rain or shine.” Mary giggled, snuggling closer to Dean and pressing her cheek to his arm. “The smallest one was Madeline.”

“Where are all those little girls' daddies?” Mary asked, peering at the picture of the crowd of yellow jacketed children. “Or their mommy and daddy?”

Dean opened his mouth to reply, wondering how far these line of questioning would go. He would rather have Cas at his side when they had to explain the whole daddy/papa and mommy/daddy situation.

“They’re away at school,” he told her. “They're parents are at home. They have Miss Clavel, right? She’s their teacher.”

Mary took a deep breath, her little shoulders rising in delight.

“I wanna go to school soon, right papa?” she asked, taking the conversation in a direction he wouldn’t have predicted. “And have a teacher. Will I get to wear a yellow dress?”

“Uh, I’m not sure about that, Mares,” he replied; the thought of his baby away from home for eight hours felt like lead in his stomach. Mary gave another giggle of anticipation of the prospect of school and she turned the page. Dean was about to read the next section of text when his son spoke.

“Papa,” Danny murmured around his pacifier, not looking up from the phone’s screen. “I have this?”

Dean turned from the book, tilting his head to see the picture his son was currently viewing. It was a picture of a toy excavation set, showing tiny plastic chisel and brush used to unearth bones and semi-precious stone from hard, packed sand.

“You want that?” Dean asked, brushing the little boy’s hair back from his forehead. Danny nodded in reply. “Maybe you’ll get something like that for your birthday, huh? Your birthday’s coming up.”

“ _My_ birthday is comin’ up!” Mary announced, looking up at Dean with a smile. “An’ we’re going to Disney World!”

Dean grinned broadly back at her, nodding his head.

“Yeah, yeah - we’re going to Disney World for your birthday,” he agreed. Danny pointed a tiny finger to the phone screen.

“I wan this...” he commented.

Dean chuckled, hugging the child and giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

“I’ll tell your daddy,” Dean assured him.

As if on cue, the front door opened and Castiel stepped inside. Mary jumped to her feet, rushing to leap into his arms. Castiel accepted her happy kisses with a smile.

“Thank you,” he told her, stopping to toe off his shoes by the door before carrying her back into the living room.

“Hey baby,” Dean greeted, tilting his head as Cas leaned down to kiss him. “How was your art class?”

Castiel sighed, settling on the couch at Dean’s side and letting Danny crawl into his lap.

“We’re almost finished with our current project,” the Angel replied, kissing the top of his son’s head and settling both children on either side of him. “We varnish it next week and then I will bring it home. I prefer painting to the pottery work-” he rolled his eyes at Dean’s grin. “As much as you have praised the versatility of the pottery wheel for... romantic encounters.”

Dean laughed out loud at the comment. Neither chose to elaborate with the babies in the room. Dean continued to smile.

“And how was the mission?” he asked. Castiel looked down fondly at his children as he spoke.

“Fulfilling,” he replied. “We received many food donations this week and were able provide meals to so many families in need. There was also enough to take to some of the homeless in the community.”

Dean’s smile softened and he nodded. Once Daniel had outgrown wailing nonstop in Castiel’s absence, Dean had encouraged the Angel to take up some hobbies outside of the home. The two that stuck were an art class given at their local rec center, and volunteering at a city mission that ministered to those in need. Dean could tell that it was the type of work that Castiel needed to do, and it helped with the nagging feeling that he was somehow holding Cas back from his purpose. Dean and the kids had accompanied him on occasion, and he could tell that the Angel felt no greater gift than to share the ideas of mercy and charity and love with his babies.

“That’s awesome, babe,” Dean replied.

“Daddy,” Daniel mumbled, tapping Castiel on the chest. Cas looked down upon the little boy and where the child pointed to Dean’s phone. “I wan have this.”

Dean laughed, watching Castiel squint at the picture on the screen.

“What is it, beloved?” he asked, taking the phone from Daniel’s hand to view it properly. “Oh it - oh -” he turned to Dean as the phone began to buzz. Dean took the phone from his hand. It was Alicia.

“Hello,” he spoke, rising from his seat as he felt a nervous energy well up in him. He was looking into Castiel’s eyes as he listened to the woman’s voice. Castiel’s eyes narrowed as he tried to distinguish the expression on his husband’s face. “No, it’s no trouble...” Dean said, and he nodded a moment as he resumed listening. “Uh... okay... So... so what does that mean?” Dean brought a hand to his neck, rubbing the muscle as he listened. “Okay. Yeah, no - no it’s no problem. Hey, better sooner than later, right?” Castiel felt his heart plummet. That sounded like bad news. “Thanks, Alicia. I’ll tell him now.” Dean pulled the phone from his ear, looking down at Castiel. He sighed, but his returning smile betrayed his emotion. “We own a home.”

Castiel carefully disengaged himself from the children before rising from the sofa and walking into Dean’s outstretched arms.

“Dean, this is amazing,” he breathed, smiling and accepting Dean’s kiss. “We’ll live next door to Sam.”

“We’re gonna live next to Uncle Sam!” Mary cheered, jumping from her seat and rushing to hug her fathers’ legs. “Danny, we’re gonna live with Sam!”

Daniel was frowning, his little brow lined as he pointed to Dean’s phone.

“I wan this...”

Dean and Castiel laughed, and Castiel apologized to the little boy and returned to his side to look at the toy picture together. Dean called Sam from Castiel’s phone, responding to his answer with a “Howdy, neighbor” and laughing for the entire time it took Sam to stop exclaiming his excitement.

They invited Sam, Jessica, DD, and the Novaks to their townhouse for dinner and shared a couple of glasses of wine in celebration, planning future dinners and barbecues and parties before the looming idea of a workday sent them back to their homes. Sam hugged his brother tightly and for so long before he left, that Dean had to make a joke about how they would need to take this to somewhere more private. But he felt the same way Sam did. It was good to be together again.

Dean cleaned up the kitchen once their guests had left, a smile stuck on his face. Castiel had taken the children upstairs to ready them for bed. He was reading them a book when Dean came upstairs, and the hunter dropped at Cas’s side, leaning his chin on his husband’s shoulder as Castiel finished the story.

“I hope you both sleep very well,” Cas told the children, closing the book and placing it on the nightstand beside Mary’s bed. Mary and Daniel scrambled up to hug and kiss their parents good night, and Dean set to tucking Mary back beneath the sheets as Castiel lifted Daniel into his arms.

“When can we go to Sam’s new house, papa?” Mary asked him, catching hold of his hand and holding it close to her cheek as pulled the covers around her shoulders. Dean gave a small laugh.

“Well, we’re not going to be living with Sam, babygirl,” he said softly, glancing to Cas who was watching them as he gently rocked the almost sleeping toddler in his arms. “Sam is going to stay in his house. But we are going to live in the house next to his. The one on the other side of the fence.”

Mary’s tired eyes blinked, but a broad smile spread across her face.

“And I can see Sam every day again...” she said in a wistful voice before yawning spectacularly. “... I miss my uncle Sam...”

Dean smiled, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his daughter’s forehead.

“He misses you too, baby,” he said, rising to his feet. “Sweet dreams, Mary.”

“Good night, papa,” the little girls voice spoke in a sweetly tired tone as he turned off the lamp beside her bed. “Good night, daddy.”

“Good night, beloved,” Castiel spoke to her, placing Daniel in his bed and pulling the covers over him. “Sleep well.”

Dean rubbed a hand over Castiel’s back as he followed him across the hall to their own room. They gathered pajamas and cleaned up in silence, sharing the space in front of the sink with practiced movements.

“Our new home has quite a large bathroom...” Castiel mused, looking into the mirror to watch Dean behind him. Dean pulled the toothbrush from his mouth, leaning around Cas to spit in the sink.

“That’s a good thing, right?” he asked, lifting a handful of water to his lips to rinse the toothpaste from his mouth. “That shower? Holy shit - no more pulled thigh muscles in there. It had a stone bench! Much more convenient.”

“Yes,” Castiel said with an amused smile. “Not that a pulled muscle ever stops you from continuing the attempt.”

“Have you seen my husband?” Dean asked him with a grin, wrapping his arms around the Angel’s waist and hugging him tightly. “He’s a fucking sex god.”

Castiel gave a small exhale of laughter, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, but he wrapped his arms around Dean’s and held the hunter close. He sighed, looking back into the mirror at Dean’s smiling face. Dean’s smile faded.

“Why so sad?” he asked. “I thought you were excited about the house?”

“I am,” Cas insisted. He took a deep breath, exhaling softly. “It’s just... this room may not be large, or have a sex tub,” Dean gave an amused snort, but let Castiel continue. “But I think its small space is cozy... for moments just like this...”

Dean tightened his arms around his husband, pressing his cheek to Cas’s before turning to kiss his face.

“We could be in the freakin’ Taj Mahal, and I’m still going to be standing this close to you,” Dean told him. Cas’s smile returned, and he leaned his head back against Dean’s.

“I know,” he spoke, his fingers drawing soft circles on Dean’s arm. “I just... I’ve become attached to this house... this is where Mary took her first steps and said her first words... Daniel was born here... this is where we began our life together...” his voice grew quiet as he finished “...this was the house where I became your husband.”

“Hey,” Dean said, turning the Angel in his arms so they were face to face. He brought his hands to Castiel’s cheeks, looking into his blue eyes. “Yeah, this place is full of a lot of great memories. I mean a ton. It’s practically bursting at the seams.” He smiled, and Castiel smiled back. Dean brushed his thumb across the Angel’s cheek. “And our new house will have even more. Our kids will learn to ride bikes there, and start school there. We’ll have our five year anniversary there.” he smiled wider when he saw the pleased blush on his husband’s face. “And our next kid will come into our life while we live in that house. And yeah, I love this house because all those wonderful things happened here. But babe, you may have become my husband here, but you and I have been falling in love all over this country.” He pressed his forehead against Castiel’s before giving him a quick kiss. “And no matter where we are, you’re going to be my husband for the rest of my life.”

  
~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I hope at least one person is still reading. I think there may only be ONE CHAPTER left in this story. Maybe two. We'll see. I really hope that this has brought joy to someone. To everyone who read, or commented, or left kudos, or bookmarked - you have certainly brought me joy. <3
> 
> If there is anything wonky, let me know. This story is riddled with mistakes! :D


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things must come to an end...

**Chapter specific warning:** the end may cause a bit of anxiety. 

 

The Winchesters received good news on their home inspection, as expected, and the home buying procedure continued normally towards the final closing on the house beside Sam’s. As much as he was excited, Dean began to feel a bit of the same melancholy nostalgia that Cas had expressed as they began the slow process of packing away their belongings, and emptying the little, yellow town house that had been their first real home.

“Babe?” Dean called, awkwardly pushing open the front door, trying to juggle the items in his arms. “Cas? I brought more boxes.”

Dean dropped the cardboard to the floor, turning to shut the door properly just as Castiel’s footfalls were heard on the stairs.

“You’re home early. Welcome home,” Cas spoke, meeting Dean by the door and leaning in to give him a kiss. He looked down at the boxes. “Thank you. I don’t think we’ll need too many more.”

“Cool,” Dean replied, kicking off his shoes and pulling off his jacket. “Yeah, we finished our paperwork early so I told Norm I was going to take off. I can’t wait until we can finish signing all the papers and get the keys. I’d like to start moving some of this stuff over as soon as possible. I want to at least have some furniture when we have Mary’s birthday party.”

“Both Sam and Jimmy offered their houses for the gathering if we were unable to prepare,” Castiel told him, rising from where he collected the boxes.

“Yeah, well,” Dean replied with a sigh. “We close before then and will have a few days to set up. I think we’ll be good.” he took half the stack of flattened cardboard from his husband and followed him to the stairs. “I just hate waiting.”

“I know,” Castiel said sympathetically, unlocking the baby gate at the top of the staircase and holding it open for Dean.

Dean’s frustration quickly faded at the happy cheers of his children that greeted him when he entered the bedroom.

“Hey, kiddos,” Dean returned, placing the boxes against the wall and kneeling down to pull the babies into his arms. He kissed their faces, hugging them tightly before turning them loose. “You helping daddy?”

“Yep!” Mary told him happily. “Daddy is putting _all_ our stuff away.”

“I wan my stuff,” Danny added, warily watching Castiel fold the boxes and secure the bottoms with tape.

Dean chuckled, ruffling his son’s hair affectionately.

“We’re just moving your stuff to the new house, bub,” he assured the little boy. “You’ll keep your stuff.”

“I gave them both a basket for the items they wanted to keep out,” Castiel explained, opening a thick, black sharpie and writing on the outside of one box. “But only as many items as will fit in the basket.”

“Sounds pretty fair,” Dean said, turning to his kids. “Did you fill up your baskets yet?”

“Yep,” Mary chirped, taking his hand and leading him across the hall. She pointed proudly to the bright blue basket on the floor beside her bed. It was full to the brim with books, a stuffed giraffe Sam bought for her when she was a newborn, and a large box of crayons.

“Nice,” Dean commented, turning to where Danny stood by the door. “Where’s your basket, bub?” he asked.

Daniel trudged over to his toddler bed, pulling his own yellow basket from the floor. The only item inside was the yellow and white blanket Castiel knitted for him before he was born. Dean grimaced.

“Well fill it up, kid,” he encouraged. Daniel continued to frown, his little brow lined with irritation and his eyes narrowed; he looked remarkably like his father. Dean chuckled, dropping onto the floor beside the toy bin and patiently sorting through the toys, narrowing down the items Danny wanted to remain out for the short period of time the rest of their items would be packed. Dean found himself repeating that very same fact many times before the basket was even halfway full. “It will only be a couple days, bub,” Dean assured him. “You’re going to keep all your stuff.”

Daniel’s groan was muffled by his pacifier as he watched his father place stuffed animals to one side.

“Danny likes the picture viewer, papa!” Mary explained, taking the toy and plastic slides from the toy box and handing them to Dean.

“You like this?” Dean asked, holding up the viewer before putting it to his own eyes. “Hey, this _is_ cool...”

Daniel climbed into Dean’s lap, and Dean relinquished the toy to his son while he and Mary continued to sort through the toys, the little girl helping her father pick the ones that Danny liked the most. Dean kept them entertained until they got to the bottom of the toy box, and Danny’s basket was finally full. The three ended up snuggled on the floor, Dean reading to them from a book of fairy tales.

Castiel used the time by himself to pack away personal things he and Dean would not be needing in the few days between moving between houses. He sat on the floor, carefully packing items away and listening to the comforting thrum of Dean’s voice from across the hall.

Castiel rested a box on the bed and began the task of clearing out the bedside tables. On the nightstand by Castiel’s side of the bed sat a framed picture of himself and Dean on their honeymoon. It was one of the Angel’s favorite photographs, showing them with wind tousled hair and relaxed, happy smiles; their heads were leaned in toward each other, and both had the same expression of blissful contentment in their eyes. Castiel touched his fingertips to the glass, tracing the line of Dean’s angular jaw. Dean’s young, handsome face was beautiful and bare, but Castiel was torn in his preference for the beard the hunter had worn since his officer training. Castiel couldn’t imagine loving another being the way he loved Dean, and having his love in return had been the most precious experience of his long life - that is, until their children came. And now, to see Dean so happy with their life and their new home, living next to Sam and raising their families together, Castiel felt an Angel shouldn’t have so much glory. It sometimes felt like sin. But he was appreciative of it, and he would never stop thanking his father for it, no matter what his siblings thought.

Castiel carefully wrapped the photo is newspaper, tucking it down into the box with the other items already packed. He could hear the children giggling now, and Dean speaking in a low, but animated tone.

“I filled my basket!” Dean announced, and Cas turned to the door to see his husband carrying a laundry basket with their children sitting in it. Both were laughing joyously as Dean turned the basket and sent them tumbling to the bed. Dean smiled at Cas. “What’re you up to, babe?”

Castiel smiled, rising to his feet.

“Nothing as interesting as you, it seems,” he replied, sitting on the side of the bed and letting the children climb into his lap. “Is your basket filled, Daniel?” Danny nodded, yawning around his pacifier and blinking his eyes. Castiel picked up his phone and checked the time. It was noon. “I think it’s nap time.” he told them. Mary threw her arms in the air.

“Yes!” she cheered. “A nap!” she looked up at Dean, smiling brightly. “Can we look at a book papa?”

“Sure,” Dean agreed. “Which book?”

Mary bit her lip, her eyes looking up at the ceiling as she thought. Daniel, who was resting against Cas, pulled the pacifier from his mouth to answer for her.

“Daddy book,” he said tiredly. Mary grinned widely.

“Yeah!” she agreed. “The daddy book! Our family book!”

Dean chuckled, turning from the room. Castiel moved the packing box to the floor and pulled back the comforter on the bed. Both children snuggled beneath the sheets and awaited Dean’s return. It was only a few seconds before he stepped back into the room carrying two leather-bound books in his hands.

“Alright, kiddos,” Dean said, settling on his side of the bed and nudging Mary and Daniel closer together between him and Cas. “We’ll just look for a bit and then it’s nap time, okay?”

“Okay,” they both agreed, watching with interest as Dean sat the book between them, holding it tilted so they could see as he opened the cover. “Once upon a time,” he said in a mock dramatic tone, earning sleepy giggles in reply. “Mary and Daniel’s daddies met.” Mary smiled brightly as she looked at the pictures of the younger Dean and Castiel. “and became best friends.”

“And fell in love,” Mary added happily. Dean grinned, turning the page.

“And fell in love.” he agreed. Castiel smiled softly, watching his family as they looked through the photo album. He gently ran his hand through Daniel’s curly hair, feeling pleasantly content to listen as Dean narrated their beautiful life together. The children didn’t seem to notice that Castiel was wearing the same suit and baggy trench coat in all the oldest pictures, and they listened patiently as Dean told generic, quick overviews of their adventures together. Mary pointed to one of the pictures of her as a newborn, sleeping on Dean’s chest as the hunter lay, also asleep, on the sofa.

“Is that grandma and grandpa’s house?” she asked, tilting her head as she looked at the furniture.

“That’s grandma and grandpa’s old house,” Dean replied, turning the page. Mary nodded sagely.

“This is gonna be our old house,” she said, turning from Cas to Dean. “Right?”

Dean smiled, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

“Right,” he told her. Mary’s smile remained as she looked at the next page of pictures, but his son let his displeasure be known.

“I wan _my_ house,” Danny grumbled, frowning at the idea. Dean and Castiel shared a significant look before Dean spoke.

“We’ll talk about it after naptime, okay bub?” he asked, reaching over and giving the little boy’s leg a playful squeeze.

Danny continued to scowl, so Dean took that as agreement and continued turning pages as he told a lighthearted story about his and Cas’s journey together. Mary was most excited about the wedding pictures, and the pictures of her fathers having snow cones on the beach. Dean and Cas were smiling as well, both internally reliving those beautiful moments in their lives. Further into the album, Mary had only delight for the pictures of Jessica in her wedding dress and her fathers and uncle dressed in suits. The Winchesters laughed at Mary’s happy chatter over her recollection of the day, even though neither Dean nor Cas could imagine that she could remember.   
  
“I’m going to marry Sam one day too,” she stated with certainty, and Dean gave a huff of laughter.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, smiling at Cas, who only shook his head. “We’ll talk more about that when you’re older. As a matter of fact,” he continued, watching her now turn the next couple pages. “I think it’s time for you to focus more on sleeping and less on pictures.”

“Aw,” Mary sighed, but before Dean could shut the book, she pointed quickly to one of the photographs. “Daddy!” she exclaimed, and Castiel looked down at her. Mary pulled the book closer to her face, her bright blue eyes examining the picture. “Why’s your belly so big?”

Castiel laughed, and the sound was soft and gentle.

“I was carrying Daniel’s grace in my belly,” he told her, reaching to run a hand over her honey blonde hair before looking down at his son, now sleeping comfortably against his chest. “Before Daniel was born into our family, I carried him inside of me.” Dean frowned slightly, watching his daughter for a reaction.

“Like aunt Jessica has a baby in her belly?” Mary asked, looking up at Castiel. The Angel smiled.

“Very much like that,” he agreed.

Dean closed the book, and Mary lay back down on the bed, her pale brows pinched in thought. Dean lay down at her side, and she brought a tiny hand to his jaw.

“Are you going to get another baby in your belly?” she finally asked. “Someday?” Dean watched Castiel closely, but Castiel’s soft, patient smile remained.   
  
“Maybe someday,” he said quietly, leaning to kiss her forehead. “Now sleep, beloved.”

Mary nodded and smiled, and closed her eyes obediently, her little fingers lingering at Dean’s stubbly jaw. Dean and Castiel watched each other in the silence, until Mary too was sleeping as soundly as her brother. Cas rose from the bed, keeping Daniel held against his chest and carried him across the hall to his toddler bed. Mary took after Cas in that once she was asleep, she didn’t stir from one position, and therefore did not pose the threat of falling our of their bed. Daniel, on the other hand, took after Dean, restlessly changing positions during the night. If Cas could put a rail on Dean’s side of the bed, he probably would.

Dean was in the hallway, photo albums tucked under his arm, when Cas returned from putting Daniel down. Dean gently ran a hand down Cas’s arm.

“Coffee?” he asked. Castiel nodded gratefully.

“Please.” he agreed.

Dean held the baby gate open for his husband, and followed him down to the first floor. Cas took the albums and dropped onto the sofa, and Dean continued on into the kitchen to start the coffee. He pulled two mugs from the cabinet as the brew dripped steadily into the carafe. Once enough coffee filled the pot, Dean filled the mugs, adding cream and sugar to his and just a bit of cream to Castiel’s.

“Here ya go, babe,” Dean spoke, handing over the second cup before settling at his husband’s side. Castiel accepted it with a grateful smile, taking a slow breath of the aromatic steam.

“Thank you, Dean,” he murmured, bringing the cup to his lips. The two drank in silence a moment, and Dean reached out to rest his arm on the back of the sofa, his fingers gently stroking the Angel’s neck. Castiel, either consciously or unconsciously, leaned his head slightly to the side to allow the hunter more surface area to tend. Dean grinned, nudging his husband’s knee playfully with his own. His grin widened when Castiel nudged back.

“Hey,” Dean began, leaning forward to set his mug on the coffee table before settling back at Cas’s side. “When the kids wake up, why don’t we blow the rest of the afternoon out shopping for something awesome for the new house, hm?” he gave Cas a wide smile. “Like a sweet leather sofa for the den? An obnoxiously big big-screen TV?” he gave a wag of his eyebrows. “A new bed?”

Castiel grimaced slightly, his eyes narrowing.

“I like our bed,” he replied. Dean signed, running hand over his eyes.

“Well, I see where Dan gets it.” he remarked with a smile. “So that’s a no-go on a new bed? Not even a king size?” Castiel appeared contemplative, but Dean had a feeling he wasn’t considering new furniture. He returned his hand to the back of the Angel’s neck, massaging the tense muscle beneath his palm. “What’s on your mind, babe?” he asked gently. It was Castiel’s turn to sigh.

“I think Daniel is slightly distressed over the move,” he admitted. Dean frowned, giving a nod of agreement. “He seems to prefer an environment he is comfortable with. He’s not as excited about the prospect of our new home and his own room like Mary is.”

“He’ll be fine,” Dean assured Cas, sympathetically. “We’ve been talking about it a lot. We’ve talked about it every time we’ve been to visit Sam.” Dean watched the Angel nod and shrug. Dean put his arm around Cas and hugged him tightly. “So maybe what we need to buy for the new house are things for the kids to get them excited about their new space, huh?”

Castiel looked to Dean with interest, his brows raised.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Like,” Dean began, keeping an arm around Cas. “Maybe Dan would like a new big-boy bed for his room? He’s getting a little big for his toddler bed. Or maybe that lego table we’ve been talking about getting them for Christmas? Or we could take the kids to let them pick out their swing-set for the yard.”

“I think they’d like that,” Castiel replied, his smile returning. Dean gave the Angel another squeeze.

“He’ll be fine,” Dean assure him, pressing a kiss to his temple. “And remember, we get the keys on Wednesday. I plan to take the rest of the week off. We can take him with us every time we go over to clean and set up the big stuff. He’ll get used to it. Sure, he likes his routine, but he’s resilient.” Castiel took a deep breath and nodded, seeming to try and convince himself that Dean was right.

“I should probably continue packing the items we won’t need,” Cas said, leaning forward and placing his coffee mug beside Dean’s. Dean pulled the Angel back onto the sofa, grinning at him and pressing in close.

“Don’t pack anything critical,” he advised. Castiel chuckled, sliding his arms around the hunter’s neck as Dean leaned in to kiss him.

“What do you think is in my basket?” Castiel murmured against the hunter’s lips. Dean chuckled, capturing another kiss before setting back.

“You’ve grown pretty cheeky, Angel, you know it?” he asked with a smile, brushing the back of his fingers across Castiel’s jaw.

“I’ve had a good mentor,” Castiel replied with a self-satisfied smile. Dean chuckled in amusement, holding the Angel tightly against his side. Cas made no movement to rise, even after voicing his intention to return to packing, and Dean was content to sit quietly with him in the almost bare living room. Both were quiet, minds occupied with dozens of thoughts and priorities. After several long moments of silence, Dean leaned down and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s temple, and he let his lips linger there, brushing a second just above the first.

“Thank you,” he murmured, his arm tightening around Cas’s side. Castiel shifted, turning to look up into the hunter’s face.

“For what?” he asked softly, his eyes searching Dean’s for clarity. Dean shook his head, licking his lips and struggling for words.

“For everything,” he replied, his eyes closing when Castiel’s warm hand cupped his cheek. Dean took the Angel’s hand in his and kissed his palm. “I can’t think of one thing that wouldn’t apply here.”

Castiel smiled, shaking his head and pressing his forehead to Dean’s shoulder. Dean wrapped him tightly in his arms.

“You will never know,” Castiel spoke, his voice muffled against Dean’s skin. “How incredibly wrong you are in that it is I who caused any of this happiness you thank me for. I owe everything I have to you. You have remade me, Dean Winchester.”

Dean took a deep breath, rubbing a hand along his husband’s back.

“I owed you one, I guess...” he replied. Castiel looked up, a smile returning to his lips. He leaned forward and kissed Dean with as much passion as he could. Dean was smiling broadly when he pulled away.

“So,” Dean asked. “Kids are asleep. What can we pack up that won’t cause too much noise?”

Castiel took a deep breath, turning to look around the room.

“The photographs on the wall above the fireplace and the books in here,” he began. “The items in your office space. But other than that, just what is in the bedrooms.”

“I’ll get my office,” Dean replied, rising from his seat.

“Please label your boxes,” Castiel told him, standing as well.

“Yes, dear,” Dean agreed, slipping his arms around the Angel’s waist and pulling him in close. “Anything else?”

Castiel tilted his head as if considering the question as he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck.

“I need you to seriously identify the items you want to keep out. I don’t want to pack anything you need.” Cas said. “I’m packing one suitcase with enough clothing to last us into the weekend, and I have one box of kitchen items that we’ll need immediately.”

“No worries,” Dean assured him. “If you got clothes and food covered, the only thing I need is my toothbrush.”

“And that’s all?” Castiel asked, incredulously. Dean smirked, wrapping his arms more intimately around his husband, one hand sliding up the back of Castiel’s shirt.

“You already said you had lube in your special basket, so I’m covered.”

Castiel’s chuckle was muffled by Dean’s lips and he returned the hunter’s affection. They lingered over the last couple kisses before Dean reluctantly pulled away from the Angel and retreated to his office area. He had a goofy smile on his face the entire time he was packing away his office supplies, and he may have spent one too many minutes staring at the picture of Cas on his desk before wrapping it neatly in newspaper and putting it on top of the other items. With a black sharpie, Dean notated ‘Dean’s Office’ on the side of the box.

The sound of footsteps on the floor above indicated to Dean that the children were up from their nap. He sat the two boxes he filled neatly beside his small desk just as Mary came skipping into the room.

“Papa!” she exclaimed, leaping onto the office chair and letting it spin. “Daddy said we’re going to the store and you should come up and wash your hands!”

“What?” Dean laughed, pulling his daughter up into his arms. “Did daddy explain that logic?” he asked, carrying her from the room. Mary shrugged cutely, smiling as she twisted the collar of Dean’s shirt.

“Daddy said,” she reiterated. Dean laughed, carrying his little girl back to the bedrooms were Castiel was dressing a tired faced toddler.

“Why do I gotta wash my hands, specifically?” Dean asked him.

“You’ve been wrapping things in newspaper,” Castiel told him, rising to his feet. “Your hands are probably filthy.” Dean looked down at his hands, rubbing his slightly grimy fingertips together. Castiel continued. “I was thinking we could go to lunch first.”

“Sounds good,” Dean agreed, setting Mary on the floor so he could go wash up. “What do you think, kids?” he called back over his shoulder. He could hear the little voices cheer in agreement, Danny’s a little more subdued than Mary’s, and when he came back into the room, he delighted in the look of exasperation on Castiel’s face as he worked the kids up into an excited frenzy.

Dean loved the way the house sounded when the children were excited about something and he and Cas were gathering them to take them out. It was a quintessential family moment that he associated with happiness. As family moments were concerned, the only thing better was the sound of the house when all of their broods were together and the children chased each other from room to room while the adults laughed and talked around the table. Definitely one of the sounds of happiness.

The Winchesters ate lunch at a local restaurant that had plenty of vegan options as well as plenty for the steadfast carnivore. Castiel watched with a smile on his face as Dean told the children stories about all of the fun and adventure they were going to have in their new house. It warmed his heart to see the look of awe on his little son’s face when Dean added that their garden would be twice its current size. Both children seemed intrigued by the idea of a home theater and sand boxes and extra playroom.

After lunch, the Winchesters loaded back into Cas’s Subaru and drove a short distance to a large furniture store that specialized in unique and interesting pieces. Dean carried his son on his shoulders as they toured the store, looking at all the furniture options spread out across the large showroom.

“Whattaya think, kids?” he asked, holding his son securely as he tilted his head back to look up at the child. “What do you want for your rooms?” Danny shrugged, a tiny, unsure grimace on his face that reminded Dean of Castiel. Dean laughed. “Yeah, well, if you see anything,” he told the child. “You hollar.” Dean turned to look down at his daughter. Mary was walking at his side, hand in hand with Castiel. “And what about you, Mares?” he asked.

The little girl smiled brightly up at him.

“I want a princess bed,” she replied with determination. “A white princess bed with blue blankets and lots and lots of pillows!”

Castiel gave an amused chuckle at the answer, but otherwise remained silent. Dean gave an impressed nod.

“Well, we’ll do our best for that,” he told her. Mary continued to smile, but her tiny hand tightening against Castiel’s belied her excitement.

The family continued on through the store until they reached the children’s furniture section. It wasn’t hard go find a canopy bed that Mary approved of. Castiel sat with the children while Dean took measurements of the bed frame and the height of the bed posts, then spoke with the sales agent who materialized at their side the moment it appeared they had made a selection.

“Alright,” Dean announced, pulling his giggling daughter into his arms. “One down. Blue blankets and tons of pillows will have to come from another store, okay baby?”

“O-KAY!” Mary agreed. Castiel smiled at the way the two interacted. Dean was a natural parent.

“So what about you, Dan?” Dean asked his son, who was now perched contentedly on Castiel’s hip. “See anything you like?”

Dean knew better than to suggest the bed shaped like a car or the loft bed with the build in soccer goal; Danny wasn’t interested in such things, and Dean wanted him to be happy.

“Beloved,” Castiel spoke softly, gaining Daniel’s attention and pointing across the showroom. “What about that?”

Daniel’s gaze turned to the area Castiel indicated, and his eyes grew wide with wonder. The child slid from his father’s arms, and he walked across the showroom to the furniture piece Cas had shown him. Castiel, Dean, and Mary followed close behind.

Standing among a variety of regular bookshelves was one shaped like a tree; but instead of having a plain vertical rectangle with plain shelves, the main column had the curved lines of a trunk. Shelves lined the main piece of the structure with several additional shelves branching out on both sides. A large wooden header shaped like sections of leaves completed the look. Danny stared up at it in awe.

Dean kneeled beside his son, tilting his head slightly to look into his face.

“Whattaya think, Dan?” he asked. “This it? You want this in your new room?” Dean knew that even if the shelf was too big to fit into the space, he would _make_ it fit. He build one himself if he had to.

Daniel blinked his large green eyes a moment before turning them to Dean.

“I have this?” he asked, hopefully. Dean grinned broadly, pulling the child into his arms and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Of course, baby,” he told him.

Danny smiled, watching happily as Dean took out his measuring tape and began to get dimensions. He could hear Mary chatting happily and encouragingly to her brother.

“You can put all your books in this, Danny!” she was saying enthusiastically. “In your new room! Your new room will be so cool!”

“Cool,” Danny repeated, watching in awe as his father measured the height of the shelf.

“Awesome,” Dean announced, snapping the measuring tape back into its case. “There’ll be about a three inch clearance when we put this up. And it will fit perfectly in the corner beside the window.

“Thank you, papa,” Danny said quietly, hugging Dean’s leg. Dean ruffled his son’s hair affectionately.

“You’re welcome, bub,” he replied. Castiel was also beaming at him, which made the hunter blush. “Alright,” Dean announced, taking a hold of each of his children’s hands. “We’ve got Danny and Mary covered,” he grinned at Cas. “What does daddy want?”

Castiel smiled warmly, turning from the children’s section and leading them back into the general furniture area.

“I’m not sure,” Cas mused, looking at the many types of sofas, chairs, and tables surrounding them. “We might need to see how our current furniture fits into the new house before knowing what we need...”

“So, nothing you can think of off the top of your head?” Dean asked.

Castiel considered the question, looking around at the furniture as he thought about their new home and all of the hopes and dreams they had for it. A place of family, of friends, of fellowship like he had in heaven. Where the Winchesters, the Novaks, the Singers, and all those important to them would share joy together.

Within an hour, Cas, Mary, and Danny stood by the sales counter as Dean paid for their items and scheduled delivery for one princess canopy bed, one tree shaped book shelf, and a large, dark wood dining table that could seat twelve. Cas’s happiness only increased Dean’s happiness, and both felt their joy compounded by that of their children. As they left the store together, all four Winchesters were looking forward to life in their new home.

  
~~~~~~~~~

  
Wednesday morning, Dean and Castiel met their real estate agent to sign several stacks of paper, ending the long road to purchasing their own home. They bought a bottle of champagne on the way to their new place, and celebrated by sharing a glass with Sam, Jessica, and the Novaks, while the kids ran around the yard with the dog.

They spent most of Wednesday evening and Thursday vacuuming, scrubbing, and wiping down sinks, tubs, toilets, and windows. Thursday evening had them loading all of their furniture and boxes into a moving truck and carefully sorting the items out into their new place. Dean was surprised by how much stuff he had amassed in such a short period of time. He used to be able to fit all of his worldly possessions into an old military duffel bag, but it felt good to see visual proof that the old life no longer existed. They spent Thursday night in Sam’s guest room, and Dean reluctantly gave in to letting his brother’s heavy labrador sleep at the end of the bed so his son would fall asleep.

Jessica kept Mary and Daniel with her on Friday while Sam was at work so that Dean and Castiel could finish moving the last remnants of their belongings from the town house. There wasn’t much left, just a few odds and ends, but both Dean and Cas wanted to leave the little house as neat and clean as it was when they first moved in.

“Well, whoever is getting this house after us,” Dean said as he entered the bedroom, lugging the vacuum in one hand and carrying two cold bottles of beer in the other. “Gets one hell of a garden.” he crossed into the bathroom where Cas was washing out the tub and wiping down the faucets.

“I hope they care for it,” Castiel spoke, pushing himself to his feet and wringing out his cleaning cloth. “It is going to take a while before we can harvest from our new garden.”

“True,” Dean agreed, leaning on the door frame and watching Cas wash his hands. “But, we got nothing but time. And we’ll get to make more visits to the farmer’s market. That’s one of your favorite outtings with the kids.”

“Agreed,” Castiel replied, taking a deep breath and looking around the little bathroom. “Well. I’m done up here. How is downstairs?”

“Done,” Dean said, handing one of the beers to his husband. “The only thing we have to do is to take our cleaning supplies and the one last box to the car.” Castiel nodded in agreement as he opened his bottle. The two were quiet a moment, sharing a drink in silence. “Well,” Dean continued with a sigh. “We had a good run here.”

Castiel smiled fondly, nodding.

“We did,” he agreed. “You know, I have been in existence for many, many centuries, but nothing I have experienced in my long life can compare to these last four years in this little house.”

Dean smiled, reaching out for Cas’s hand and pulling the Angel toward him.

“I may not have lived as long,” Dean told him. “But, I couldn’t agree more.”

Dean leaned in to kiss the Angel, sliding his free hand up Castiel’s back and holding him close. Castiel sighed contentedly, pressing his chest to Dean’s and looking up into the other man’s face.

“Are you ready to leave?” he asked. Dean smirked, pressing a kiss to the end of Cas’s nose.

“You’re not,” Dean replied. “So let’s just hang out a while. Finish these beers. Hm?”

Cas nodded, and Dean took his hand and lead him into the empty bedroom. They settled on the floor where their bed once stood, and continued to drink.

“The room seems bigger without furniture in it,” Dean laughed. “Never thought I’d see the day when any amount of space seemed like too little.” Castiel looked around, his eyes squinting as he surveyed the dimensions of the room.

“This space is adequate for our needs,” he said. “We do nothing in this room but sleep and make love.” He turned narrowed eyes to Dean, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Because we are not putting a television in our bedroom.”

Dean laughed, leaning back on one hand before taking another large drink of his beer. The cold liquid slid pleasantly into his belly, and he sighed.

“What about one of those flat screens that you can hide in a cabinet?”

Castiel rolled his eyes and shook his head at Dean’s teasing. The hunter continued to chuckle, nudging Cas’s foot with his own. Castiel smiled, but continued to consider the possible furnishing of their new room.

“It _would_ be nice to have a larger dresser,” he mused, looking to the space beneath the window that once had their three drawer chest. “You need an entire drawer just for your nice work socks.”

Dean blushed and gave a small huff of self-conscious amusement. He didn’t want to admit that what Cas had said was true, but he couldn’t refute it. One year on his birthday, Cas bought him several pairs of the expensive, but fucking awesome, soft cashmere dress socks for his in-office days. Over the years, his fancy socks multiplied to rival his plain cotton socks and nearly pushed Cas’s out of the drawer altogether. Cas preferred ankle length cotton socks anyway, when he did wear them, so Dean had tried not to feel too guilty about hogging the sock drawer. Dean cleared his throat.

“And we can get an armchair for our room so when I read to the kids at night, they won’t fall asleep in our bed.”

Castiel’s brows drew together and he tilted his head as he looked to his husband.

“I don’t mind that they fall asleep in our bed,” he commented. Dean grinned back at him.

“That’s the problem,” he explained.

Both laughed at the comment, and Dean continued to smile broadly at the other man. He loved Castiel so much, he thought he would probably be comfortable staring at him forever. Castiel, who had more familiarity with the vastness of eternity, knew for a fact he would be content to stare at Dean forever.

Castiel lay back on the carpet, looking up at the ceiling over head. Dean leaned down onto his elbow, looking into his husband’s face. They were quiet again, and the silence forced Dean to speak.

“What’s on your mind?”

Castiel sighed, turning to Dean with a wistful expression.

“I’m going to miss this view,” he admitted, looking to Dean. A small smile turned his lips. “I have many fond memories of this ceiling.”

Dean’s broad smile returned, and he moved smoothly to settle over his husband. Cas gave a small sound of surprise, but shifted his legs so Dean could settle between them.

“ _This_ view ain’t going anywhere, sweetheart,” Dean said huskily, leaning down to press his lips firmly to Castiel’s. Castiel groaned into the kiss, opening to the sensual sweep of Dean’s tongue. They kissed deeply, lazily, as Dean shifted to settle more comfortably over his husband. When he pulled away, Castiel gave a soft sigh. The Angel gently cupped Dean’s face in his hands, his thumbs softly stroking the hunter’s cheekbones.

“That is an infinite comfort,” Cas whispered, looking up into Dean’s face. “for I have my most fond memories of this view right here... and...” he blushed, his voice quiet as he continued. “I love when you call me ‘sweetheart’...”

Dean smiled softly, leaning down to gently brush his lips against Cas’s.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, his lips ghosting against the Angel’s, the hair of his beard brushing Cas’s chin. “Baby...” Castiel moaned, his eyes closing as Dean pressed his lips to the line of his jaw, to the lobe of his ear. “ _Mr._ Winchester...” Dean smiled at the groan of pleasure Castiel made at the endearment, even though it was indisputable fact. Dean’s smile widened as he breathed against the other man’s ear. “My sweet, sweet husband.”

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, one hand slipping into his soft hair and the other sliding over the muscles of Dean’s back as he pulled the hunter down for another deep kiss. Dean enthusiastically returned the Angel’s affection, leaving him breathless when he moved to trail his lips down Cas’s chin and throat. Castiel was breathing heavily, staring up at the stark white ceiling above him as he felt Dean’s hands slide up his sides, pushing the fabric of his shirt up to his chest and pressing into his flesh as they made their way back down to his hips.

“Dean,” Castiel breathed, reaching down and drawing his hand through his husband’s hair. “Dean...”

“Hm?” the sound vibrated against Cas’s belly as Dean continued to press kisses into the Angel’s skin. Castiel could only moan softly in response, but when he felt Dean open the button on his pants, he reached back down to push him gently away.

“Dean,” he spoke, but regret was in his tone. “Please.... I’m sweaty.”

Dean gave him an amused grimace.

“Does it look like I fucking care?” he asked. “C’mon baby.” Dean placed another soft kiss low on Castiel’s abdomen as he slowly pulled his zipper down the track. He looked up at Cas through his pale, long lashes. “Unless that’s a hard ‘no’...”

“No,” the word came out almost a whine, but Cas still had an expression of confliction on his face.

“So?” Dean asked, rubbing his chin affectionately against the skin laid bare when he lowered the other’s zipper. “I’m sweaty. We’re going to be more sweaty in a couple minutes.”

“Its not that,” Castiel replied, shifting his hips uncomfortably under the weight of Dean’s body. “I’m not... adverse to intercourse...”

Dean’s brow furrowed, and he tilted his head to one side.

“Then what?” he asked, his fingers absently rubbing circles into Cas’s hips. “What are you saying no to?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he felt he knew what the answer was. Dean grinned. “Oh Cas,” he breathed, pushing himself to his knees and curling his fingers into the waistband of Castiel’s jeans and tugging them down. “I’d think you know me well enough to know that I don’t give a damn.”

Castiel bit his lip, shifting his legs to help Dean in pulling his pants and underwear off.

“I know, but...” Cas began lamely. Dean leaned over him, moving in close to capture Cas’s mouth.

“You saying no?” he asked, raising his eyebrow in question. “’Cause I’ll respect it.”

Castiel took a deep breath, turning his eyes back to the ceiling and covering his face with his hands. He was quiet a moment, focusing on the way Dean’s fingertips gently stroked the inside of his knee.

“No,” he spoke, dropping his hands and looking back at his husband. “I’m not saying no... If you really don’t mi-” the word died in a groan as Dean made swift work of his husband’s consent, taking the Angel’s shaft in his mouth. Castiel moaned loudly, a hot blush rising to his face at the enthusiasm Dean showed in sucking his erection to its full potential. Dean found it hard to smile with his lips otherwise occupied, but he was incredibly amused by Cas’s concern that he was in no state for Dean’s mouth. Like Dean cared. Yeah, Cas’s skin was slightly tacky and his scent a little stronger than if he had just stepped out of the shower, but Dean liked it. It was Cas. And Dean liked the idea of taking Cas any way he could get him. And if it was a little dirty at times? So what.

Dean could feel Cas’s hand in his hair, and he moaned as he bobbed his head, his cheeks hollowed as he worked his husband’s shaft. He pulled back with a wet pop, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as he continued to stroke Cas’s erection with his other. Dean grinned at his husband, licking his lips and leaning over him.

“Fucking awesome,” Dean whispered, devouring the Angel’s mouth in a passionate kiss.

Castiel breathed deeply when he pulled away, muttering a soft ‘Honestly, Dean’ in response. The hunter chuckled, returning his attention to Castiel’s groin, licking a hot, wet stripe across his balls.

“Even if you ran a fucking marathon,” Dean said, giving a shake of his head before running the flat of his tongue over the glistening tip of Cas’s erection. The Angel shuddered. “I’d still suck you dry. You’d have to be a whole lot dirtier than this.”

Castiel gave a huff of laughter that ended in a groan.

“Well, comparing to how filthy your mouth is right now...”

Dean’s laugh echoed in the empty room and he dropped at Castiel’s side, pulling him into his arms.

“Don’t fuck with me, Angel,” Dean grinned, capturing Cas’s mouth in a deep, intense kiss. Castiel was blushed and smiling when the hunter pulled away, his blue eyes dark with desire.

“I thought that’s exactly what you wanted?”

Their laughter was muffled by kisses, and soon the sound of levity was transformed into deep moans and gasps for breath. Dean kissed his way back down Castiel’s chest, kneading and stroking the Angel’s warm flesh as he moved. Dean marveled over how after five years, Castiel’s body was still firm and defined, each muscle lean and taut under Cas’s smooth, tan skin. Castiel reached down and tugged on the hunter’s shirt, and Dean submitted to letting him pull the shirt up his body and over his head.

“Dean...” Castiel moaned, once again running his fingers through his husband’s short hair as Dean returned to intimately massaging the Angel’s erection with his mouth.

“Alright baby,” Dean murmured in an amused voice, stroking Cas’s rock hard shaft with his hand as he looked up at the Angel. Castiel’s chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, but he looked down at Dean with a raised eyebrow. Dean grinned. “Where’s your special basket?”

Castiel laughed, his eyes closing and he sighed as he pointed to the bathroom.  
  
“There’s some in the box on the counter,” he replied as Dean pushed himself to his feet and retreated to the other room. “It was the tube we kept in the drawer.”

“Excellent,” Dean remarked, snapping up the nearly empty container and returning to the bedroom. He looked down at his husband who lay half naked and blushing on the floor. Dean smiled at him. “Why do we need any furniture?” he asked, giving a wag of his eyebrows as he pushed his own pants and underwear to the floor. Castiel sighed.

“The floor is too hard for your back,” Castiel advised him, and his amusement was smothered by Dean’s next kiss.

“You calling me old, Angel?” Dean asked with a grin, setting back up on his knees and pulling his husband closer to him by the hips.

“No,” Cas replied sweetly, his breath catching when Dean’s warm, slick finger pressed satisfyingly deep. “You’re just delicate.”

Dean laughed, leaning over Castiel and kissing him deeply as he continued to slowly work him open. Castiel wrapped his arms around the hunter’s neck as he let his legs fall apart, making Dean’s mission a bit easier to complete. Dean was as skilled with his fingers as he was every other part of his body, and it was not long before a second and third finger were massaging him relaxed and pliant.

“Eager,” Dean whispered deeply in Cas’s ear, and the Angel only moaned in response. “I like it.”

Their lips met again, and Dean took distinct pleasure in the way Castiel’s fingers pressed into his back and a stifled groan escaped him as Dean pressed his erection deep into Cas’s body. Dean was impressed by the intensity with which Cas kissed him back, and Dean set a pace to match the Angel’s enthusiasm. Soon Cas was moaning with abandon, and Dean was looking down into his beautiful face as they raced each other to completion.

“Dean,” Castiel gasped, his thighs gripping tightly to Dean’s hips as his orgasm loomed closer. “Dean... I...”

“Me too,” Dean grunted, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he shifted the angle of his thrust, enjoying the way Castiel’s eyelids fluttered. Dean grimaced, trying to keep his composure as he waited for Castiel’s tell; trying to keep from going off before Cas.

“Dean,” Castiel spoke again, his voice rough and his breathing shallow. “Dean I... I love you...” his breath hitched. “So much...”

Dean’s eyes slid closed, the smooth motion of his hips slowing as his thrusts became more languid. He shook his head, dropping his forehead to Cas’s shoulder.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Castiel pressed a soft kiss to Dean’s temple, holding him closer as Dean continued to move slowly against him. Their bodies worked so well together, moving in tandem toward release. And it was so beautiful; even when Dean was grunting with effort and dripping with sweat, or it was Castiel making the hunter moan his pleasure into the sheets - these moments with Dean were no different than hearing the music of heaven.

“You are the best memories, Dean,” Cas whispered, his breath warm against Dean’s ear. “My beloved.” he kissed Dean again, just a brush of lips against his cheek.

Dean groaned, burying his face against Cas’s throat.

“You’re making it really hard to last, babe,” he said. He could feel the Angel’s chuckle, and his long, strong fingers delving into Dean’s hair. Dean bit his lip, adjusting his position. “Talk to me, babe...” he whispered.

Castiel squinted, his breath wavering as he felt Dean shift inside of him. Castiel rolled his hips toward Dean, and he felt his whole body shutter.

“There... oh...”

Dean’s laughter was released in a soft breath as he concentrated on that spot, his thrusts short but deep. He could feel Cas’s ankle twisting helplessly against his lower back and the Angel’s entire body became taut and trembling. Cas began chanting his husband’s name, his eyes squeezing shut. He came with a gasp and a rush of warmth spilled between them.

“Fuck,” Dean huffed in relief, quickening his pace a mere few strokes before he too was at his end. He pressed deep into Cas, holding the Angel close until every tiny spasm finally ceased. They lay together a moment, breathing deeply and letting their heartbeats calm. Castiel cupped Dean’s face in his hands, gently kissing his lips.

“This was a beautiful last memory here,” he said quietly, his thumb tracing the sharp line of Dean’s cheekbone. Dean smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of Cas’s nose.

“Just wait until we have our first memory in the new house,” he said with a grin. Castiel smiled, shaking his head at Dean’s humor. “I will make it,” Dean assured him, kissing his mouth. “The best fucking memory. Literally.”

Castiel laughed, and Dean was grinning as broadly as possible. Dean stared down at the Angel, his eyes roaming over the perfect features of his face. Dean leaned down, kissing Castiel softly. Cas’s eyes slid closed, his arms once again encircling Dean and holding him close.

“I’m really looking forward to setting up a new house together,” Dean told him. “It’s... it’s one of those milestones that...” he shook his head. “I thought I’d never hit. I’m glad it’s with you, Cas. I’m glad it’s with my best friend.”

Castiel’s expression softened, and there was so much tenderness in his eyes as he replied.

“I want every good thing for you, Dean,” he said, sincerely. “And I want to experience every wonderful thing with you.” Cas looked up into Dean’s eyes, hands once against framing Dean’s face. “That will always be my eternal prayer.”

Dean felt his throat constrict, and he nodded in agreement. He felt the same way for the Angel.

“I love you, Cas,” he said, simply. Castiel smiled at him. Dean took a deep breath. “I’m really looking forward to this, you know, next chapter. Building our home together. All that jazz.” Castiel chuckled, but continued to beam at his husband with affection. Dean blushed. “I mean, this is the dream, you know?” he explained, setting back on his knees before moving to lay at Castiel’s side. “Having our own place. Raising our kids there. Building all those family traditions.... growing old together. Retiring.”

Castiel sighed.

“You make it sound like heaven,” he said. Dean leaned over and kissed him; a slow, deep, lingering kiss. When he pulled away, he spoke in a soft whisper.

“It will be.”

  
~~~~~~~

  
“Hello Dean,”

Dean grinned broadly, cradling the phone against his ear as he picked through the keys on his ring to find the Impala’s. It was the end of his shift on Monday, and Dean was calling Cas to give him the heads up on their arrival. This would be the first night he and his family would spend the night in their new home, and to celebrate properly, they were planning a big dinner with their extended family.

“Hey baby,” he returned, ignoring Sam’s teasing chuckle. “Where you at? Sam and I are on our way home. We’re going to stop at the store and get some last minute things for dinner. I’m going to make the most amazing burgers you’ve ever had on the grill Sam and Jess got us as a housewarming gift.”

“That sounds nice,” Castiel replied, stepping up into the queue of people.

“Yeah?” Dean laughed. “I got one better then,” he gave a cheeky grin to his brother. “Maybe I can convince my brother to take the kids for the night and we can set the bed up first.”

“Oh man,” Sam chuckled, shaking his head.

Castiel smiled, looking around him as if Dean’s words could be heard by the customers nearby.

“I believe the new dining room furniture counts as the first thing we set up,” he told his husband. “But... I’m not averse to the plan.”

Dean smiled, pulling out onto the highway.

“Anything in particular you want me to make besides burgers?” He asked. Castiel sighed.

“You know Daniel won’t eat them,” he replied. “He might eat vegetables if you grill them. Or if it isn’t too much trouble, he does like the black bean burgers you make with peppers and mushrooms-” he paused mid-sentence, adding. “hold on a moment, Dean.”

Dean listened to Cas make his transaction, turning to Sam at his side.

“He’s at the bank.” he explained. “I think he’s setting up the travel information for the trip next month. Is that what you’re doing Cas?”

“Yes Dean,” Castiel replied with a smile. “The young woman on the customer service line told me to tell them the itinerary in advance so we shouldn’t have any issue with using our debit cards in Florida.”

Dean gave a small groan.

“I’m looking forward to taking the kids and all, but... all that time on an airplane.” he shook his head, “I wish we could have gotten extra time off work so we could drive.”

“I don’t know about you,” Sam replied. “But I would rather have eight hours running between Cali and Florida than 30 hours, over three days, in a car with three children under five and a woman who is six months pregnant. Do you realize how many pee breaks we’d have to take?”

Dean laughed, nodding in agreement.

“D’jyou hear that Cas?” he asked, chuckling. “Sam may have just sold me on air travel-”

“Dean,” The hunter became quiet at the tone in Castiel’s voice, and a lead weight settled in his stomach when the Angel continued. “There is a man... with a gun...”

“Cas,” Dean exclaimed, setting up straighter, he foot pressing into the accelerator. “Cas, stay quiet and keep low. Cas, can you hear me? Sam, call 911!”

Sam fumbled with his phone, punching in the emergency number. It was hard for him to speak, listening to Dean growl into his own phone.

“Uh, hi, This is special agent Winchester with the FBI,” he said, his voice trembling.

“Tell ‘em someone’s got a gun Sammy,” Dean shouted. “Tell ‘em to hurry. Hurry!”

Sam pushed a finger into his ear as he spoke, trying to listen to the dispatcher as Dean continued to speak in a panicked tone beside him.

“I want to report a robbery in progress at the Leighton branch of the First United Credit Union,” Sam said, his stomach clenched uncomfortably by the fear in his brother’s voice. “A suspect with a gun has been spotted inside.”

“Cas,” Dean hissed into the phone, hearing nothing but shuffling and garbled sounds on the other end. “Cas baby, talk to me. Cas, what’s going on! Cas...”

There was more sounds of commotion before the other end of the phone became silent. Dean felt his heart still in his chest.

“Dean... I love you.”

“Cas, baby.” his voice broke as he listened to a metallic clatter and the sounds of voices and screaming. He barely registered his brother telling him units were dispatched to the scene. “Cas!” Dean shouted, as he raced the Impala down the highway, oblivious to the wail of sirens now on his tail. Through the phone came another several shouts and screams.

Then a single gunshot.

~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep reading. It's not what you think.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End.

**Chapter specific warning:** if you are sensitive to anxiety, this chapter may seem a little intense. 

 

For a moment, there was no other sound in the universe; just the hanging echo of the gunshot. Dean felt as if all time stood still as the sound vibrated in his brain.

This isn’t how things were supposed to happen. Dean had the dangerous job; Dean was the one always in danger. It wasn’t supposed to be Cas getting hurt, being exposed to the terrible things in life. Cas was human now. He was kind and good and liked to garden and paint. He cuddled their babies while Dean read stories or sang lullabies, he still laughed at newpaper comics, and he was supposed to outlive Dean. But...

What if?

Fallen angels didn’t have a soul. If they died, there was no heaven, no hell. Not even purgatory. If he lost Cas over some stupid, random accident... what would he do? They were supposed to grow old together. If Cas... they would never get another chance.

Time seemed to snap sharply back into forward motion as the echo of the gunshot died and new waves of screaming could be heard. Dean threw the phone against the floor board with a swear, placing both hands on the wheel and darting in and out of traffic. Sam was still giving information to the 911 operator, informing her that it was their car being pursued down the highway, but he would try to give words of encouragement to Dean in between. Dean ignored him.

He couldn’t lose Cas. Not like this. Please god... not like this.

By the time the Impala skidded to a halt in front of their local bank, kicking up dust and smoke from the tires, Dean had four patrol cars on his tail. Sam pulled out his badge, holding it high in the air to the cops behind him as Dean rushed toward the building. There were already six cop cars on the scene, and two ambulances.

“Oh my god,” Dean groaned, walking toward the large brick structure as police were ushering people outside. He could hear crying, see panicked faces, but he didn’t see Cas. Paramedics were assessing people on the sidewalk, and Dean’s eyes quickly scanned faces, looking for the familiar sight of his husband.

“Sir,” a uniformed officer spoke, holding up a hand as Dean approached. “You can’t come past the tape-”

Dean pushed a hand into his jacket pocket, fumbling with his badge before shoving it into the officer’s hands.

“FBI - my, my ... I have to go in. What happened?”

The officer handed the badge back, following Dean as they got closer to the building.

“We’re still trying to sort it out. Some crazy tried to hold up the place with a handgun,” he explained. “From the preliminary reports, he grabbed a teenage girl from the crowd before asking for money. Girl was crying too much and he put the gun to her head to shut her up. A civilian stepped up to try and talk sense to him,” Dean felt his heart grow heavy and he closed his eyes as the officer continued. “I guess it didn’t work. There was a struggle. The gun went off...”

Dean felt his stomach twist as he walked in to the bank where officers and detectives were still speaking to witnesses and victims. Dean’s mouth was dry as he asked.

“What happened to the guy?”

The cop sighed.

“He’s in custody. After the-”

“No,” Dean snapped. “The other guy. The one who tried for the gun?”

The officer’s grim expression made Dean’s heart ache.

“He was shot,” he explained. “I wasn’t first on the scene, so I’m not sure the extent of the damage. I know they sped him out of here to the local hospital.”

“Description?” Dean demanded, his eyes still scanning the scene as he waited for the information.

“Uh,” the officer said, flipping open his notebook. “White male; late thirties; blue eyes; brown, wavy hair-”

Dean didn’t wait for more, turning back from the bank and returning to the lot. Sam was walking toward him, his face pale.

“Was it Cas?” he asked numbly. “They say there was a victim. Was it Cas?”

Dean gave one sharp nod, striding past his brother and returning to the Impala.

There was no fucking way that this was happening. Dean felt he could barely breathe, his chest tight. His many years of finely honed skill at keeping a tough facade felt as though it were slipping. If no one was hurt, why would so many ambulances and paramedic be on the scene? The thought of Cas in the hospital made Dean physically ill. But he hoped he was; he hoped Cas was in a room, having a wound stitched up and being fed morphine and jello. The alternative was worse, so much worse.

Tears welled up hot and painful behind Dean’s eyes and he sniffed aggressively, trying to focus on the road ahead. Sam was beside him speaking softly into the phone. From the tone of his voice, he was speaking with Jess. Telling her what happened. Asking her to take care of Mary and Daniel until they came home.

Oh god - if something were to happen to Cas, how would he tell the children?

A small, broken sound escaped from Dean’s lips, and he clenched his jaw tightly to keep any further emotion at bay. He couldn’t think about that right now. Couldn’t think about how his daughter was the same age Dean was when he lost his mom. Couldn’t think about how he could patiently nurture their fussy son as well as Cas. Couldn’t think about trying to carry on with life without him. Cas was his life.

“Hang on, Dean,” Sam spoke, stowing his phone in his pocket and retrieving Dean’s from the floor. “We don’t know everything yet. We don’t know...”

Dean nodded, but didn’t respond. He tried to focus on the road ahead, and soon they were pulling in to the ER parking lot. Sam’s long strides kept pace with his brother’s quick steps, and they pushed through glass doors into the waiting room. There were several nurses behind the large oval reception desk, and Dean leaned on the counter.

“Excuse me,” he spoke, a slight waver in his deep voice. “A gunshot victim was brought in a short time ago. I need to know what happened to him.”

“Gunshot?” the closest nurse asked, looking up at Dean. Sam stood behind him, holding up his badge in explanation. The nurse looked back to the computer. “Well... it looks like we had two gunshots today...”

“It was literally not twenty minutes ago,” Dean said, heat rising up the back of his neck and his hands balling into fists. “Can’t you just check and tell me what happened?” he could feel Sam’s hand on his shoulder, but he ignored it. “The guy they just brought in, what happened to him?”

The nurse turned to the woman behind him.

“Did Sarah process the last gunshot patient?” he asked. “Is he the one in surgery 2? Or the one they moved to-”

“Hey!” Dean shouted, slamming his hand down on the counter. All three of the nurses turned to him, startled by his outburst. “Just tell me what in hell happened to the guy they just brought in! Please.”

“Sir,” the first nurse replied trying to de-escalate the emotion, but Dean didn’t want to be calm. “If you would just wait one minute-”

“No,” Dean snapped. “I don’t have a minute. My husband is somewhere in this hospital and I need to know if he’s okay. Just tell me if he’s okay!”

“Dean?”

Dean turned, stunned by the voice that so gently called his name. His heart was still hammering, blood pounding in his ears; but the site of the tall, beautiful Angel made his body sag in relief. Castiel tilted his head to the side, his face a mask of concern as Dean crossed the small space and pulled him into a tight embrace. Cas wrapped his arms around his husband, letting Dean hold him. After a half a minute, Dean pulled back.

“What happened?” he asked, taking Castiel by the arms. His voice was serious, as if trying to discern the particulars of a case, but his eyes still moved with loving reverence over the Angel’s face. “They told me you were shot. They said you were shot. What happened? Why didn’t you call me back?”

“My phone got knocked from my hand,” Cas explained, taking Dean’s hand in his and softly stroking the hunter’s skin in an attempt to soothe him. “There was a child in danger. I had to act.” Dean appeared to want to respond to this, but he snapped his mouth closed and his eyes rolled skyward. Castiel continued. “You would have done the same, Dean,” he said. “I had to act.”

“You could have been _hurt_ ,” Dean replied, sternly. The next admission was harder to admit, and tasted bitter in his mouth. “I... I could have lost you.”

Castiel’s expression softened and he looked up at his husband with affection and sympathy.

“Oh, Dean...”

“Sir?”

Dean and Castiel turned to the interruption. One of the nurses was indicating down the hall toward the ER rooms.

“I’m sorry for the delay,” she said, her expression kind and slightly apologetic. “Your husband is in room 3.”

Castiel turned to Dean with a raised eyebrow, and Dean sighed heavily.

“They told me it was you, Cas,” he explained, shaking his head. “They said it was you, described you... I panicked.”

Castiel nodded in understanding, keeping Dean’s hand firmly in his as he lead the hunter and his brother toward ER room 3.

“I see,” he said, simply. “It wasn’t me.”

“Obviously,” Dean grumbled, wearily running hand over his face. With the adrenaline slowly seeping out of his body, he felt haggard and tired. “So what happened?”

As the brothers came to the threshold of the room, they stopped and both stared, open mouthed, at the patient sitting in the bed.

“Hey guys,” he said weakly, holding his bandaged arm gingerly against his chest. Dean just continued to stare, mouth agape, but Sam recovered to speak.

“Chuck,” he said, turning to look at his brother and brother-in-law before turning back to the writer. “What... what happened?”

Chuck sighed heavily, grimacing as the movement cause another throb of pain in his bicep.

“I just wanted to make a withdrawal,” he said, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He was distracted a moment as the blood pressure cuff on his opposite arm began to auto-inflate, and he turned back to the trio. “It was stupid of me, I guess, to try and get involved. Castiel was already moving to take care of it...”

“But you knew,” Dean interrupted, and both Sam and Cas turned to him. The hunter’s voice was tight, his expression taut. “You would have known what was going to happen... and you intervened.” Dean’s hand tightened on Castiel’s. “Was Cas going to get... hurt?”

Chuck looked at Dean with sympathy, and he shook his head.

“I intervened because I knew I was supposed to,” he explained. “And he’s fine, see?” he gave a nod of his head toward the Angel, and smiled weakly. “Not a scratch on him...”

Dean continued to stare at the other man, his eyes narrow. He wasn’t convinced by Chuck’s words, especially due to the shifty look in the blue eyes that wouldn’t exactly meet Dean’s.

“Well...” Dean squeezed Cas’s hand tighter. “Thank you.”

Chuck’s smile relaxed into a more natural one.

“You’re welcome,” he replied.

Dean nodded and stepped aside as a nurse moved passed him.

“How are you doing, Mr. Shurley?” She said sweetly, checking the machine monitoring his pulse and blood pressure. “Are the pain meds kicking in?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Chuck assured her, giving a nervous grin. “I’m okay.”

“You got shot,” Dean reminded him. “I’d say the pain meds are kicking in pretty well for how calm you are.”

Chuck shrugged nonchalantly, but the nurse spoke before he could.

“It was only a graze,” she told Dean as she gave Chuck a pat on the leg. “Just a bit of a burn, really. Didn’t even need stitches.”

Chuck blushed, and Dean and Sam laughed at his expense. Dean’s levity was only a mask; his stomach was still twisted in a tight knot.

“Well,” he announced, letting go of Cas’s hand and moving from his place by the door. He held a hand out to Chuck. “Thank you, again. Really... I owe you.”

Chuck sighed, reaching out and taking Dean’s hand.

“No Dean,” he assured him. He hesitated a moment, and finally finished. “I’m happy I was there.”

Dean nodded and turned without another word. Cas and Sam repeated his sentiments to the prophet before following.

“Wow,” Sam spoke, shaking his head in disbelief. “It was Chuck. I’m glad he’s alright.” his brow lined in confusion a moment. “What could the cops have said to make you think it was Cas and not someone else?” he asked his brother. Dean grimaced, turning to look at his husband as they stopped beside the Impala.

“They should have started with the height,” he said blandly. Castiel’s expression was repentant as Dean reached out and gently touched his face, his thumb stroking the Angel’s cheek. Sam softly cleared his throat, opening the passenger’s side door of the Impala and settling inside. Dean exhaled heavily, his eyes squeezing closed a moment. “Cas,” he said shaking his head, his voice tired. “I... I thought-”

“I know,” Castiel replied, placing a hand over his husband’s. “I know. I’m sorry. But I couldn’t not act. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Worry?” Dean gave a bitter laugh, pulling the Angel into his arms. “Worry doesn’t even begin to cover it. I mean... god, baby...” he closed his eyes, breathing in the apple scent of Cas’s hair. “We’ve never even talked about what would happen if-”

“I’m fine, Dean,” Castiel assured him. “We’re together.”

“Yeah, but,” Dean pulled back, looking down into Cas’s face with a pained expression. His eyes searched the blue of Castiel’s. “What if-”

“Please Dean,” Castiel implored, dropping his head to the hunter’s shoulder and holding him tightly. He couldn’t bear the thought of what Dean was implying. As Gabriel had once told him, if he were to die, as a fallen Angel there would be no heaven, no hell. Nothing. He and Dean would spend eternity apart. He wasn’t sure there was hope that this was wrong. But he and Dean were together now, and he was not going to risk being separated from him again. “I’m sorry.”

Dean held the Angel in his arms, taking comfort in the firm, warm solid weight of his body. As much as he was relieved that he still had the man he loved at his side, it was partnered with the grim reminder that they could only plan on today. Maybe Dean was deluding himself when he thought he had escaped the prison of the hunter’s life. And he brought innocent children into it.

Dean tightened his grip on Cas, pushing the thoughts from his mind. His husband was alive. Tonight, they were going to celebrate.

“You sure you’re alright?” Dean asked him, turning him loose from the embrace. “Did the doctors look at you?”

Castiel shook his head.

“I just accompanied Chuck Shurley,” he told Dean. “I’m fine. A little... shaken. But... I just want to go home.”

Dean nodded, giving Cas a thump on the arm. Before the Angel could open the back door to the car, Dean pulled him in for a kiss.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Let’s go home.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The two Winchester families, the Singers, and the Novak’s had a happy, and slightly loud, informal housewarming party that evening. It took a while for Dean and Castiel to convince everyone that they were fine with having a party after the nature of the afternoon’s excitement, but both Dean and Cas felt a party was the best way to celebrate the way the afternoon turned out. Dean fired up the grill that Jessica and Sam had bought them, music blasting from his phone while the children played in the yard with the dog. It amused Dean the way his mother worried over Castiel, concerned that the bank incident had traumatized him, as if he wasn’t a grown man or a million year old Angel. Dean was going to ignore the little voice in his head that reminded him that he was just like his mom. It was not easy to put the grim reality of Cas’s mortality out of his mind, but with the lively atmosphere and the deep sense of relief Dean felt over having Cas home safe and unharmed, he was able to enjoy the time with his family. The three beers he already put away also helped a bit.

By the time dinner was coming to a close, and Castiel served the still warm, deep-dish cherry crumble, the children were sleepy and Dean was pleasantly buzzed. The large family sat around the dining table, sharing stories and laughter, discussing the next parties and and plans for the future. Dean had learned in the last four years not to be too self-conscious when sharing public affection with his husband, but tonight, warmed with alcohol and relief, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself. Every chance he had to touch Castiel’s hand, or wrap his arms around the Angel, or press a kiss to his cheek, he took it. And Castiel loved every touch. He still felt troubled by the concern he had caused his beloved husband, but it felt pointless for them to worry over it. Castiel’s reality of the afterlife was not something they could change, so there was little point in letting it destroy their hope and joy in this life.

As the sun began to set, Sam and Dean started cleaning up the dishes while the others sat around the kitchen table, chatting about the last minute details of the upcoming trip to Florida. Jimmy put an arm around his daughter, hugging her.

“You’re excited too, right?” he asked in exaggerated exuberance. “Going to Disney world?” Claire rolled her eyes, but grinned at him before getting up and moving into the other room to play with Mary and the boys, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like “dork”. The adults roared with laughter, mostly at Jimmy’s expense.

Cas looked around at his family, a feeling of warmth blooming in his chest. Everyone looked so joyous, as if old wounds had finally been cleansed. Everything felt right, and it made the Angel incredibly happy and content.

“Daddy...”

Cas looked down at his son, smiling as the little boy handed him his pacifier and blanket. Cas took the items, setting them on the table and turning back to the child who now held his arms up into the air. Castiel lifted the child into his arms, tucking him into the crook of his elbow before wrapping him in the blanket and offering him the pacifier. Daniel took it, putting it into his mouth before pulling his arms in against his body and cuddling against his daddy’s chest. Cas leaned down and pressed a kiss to the child’s forehead, rocking him slightly. Everyone was watching him, partly amused that Dean and Cas were still letting the three year old suck a pacifier, and partly amused that the awkward Angel was now so adept at nurturing.

Cas continued to rock his son gently while holding him snuggled against his chest, and Danny watched him with wide eyes. Amelia leaned onto the table, cupping her hands around her coffee mug.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Castiel,” she began. “But... aren’t you worried that he’s still using a pacifier?”

“It comforts him,” Castiel explained, looking down at his child with affection. Amelia nodded, but she continued.

“But... don’t you think he’s a little old?”

Castiel looked up at her, his brow lined with concern.

“For comfort?” he asked, stunned. Amelia held up a hand, shaking her head.

“No, no.” she corrected. “For a _pacifier_.”

Castiel was the one shaking his head now, and he adjusted Daniel in his arms to pull him closer.

“I will not be the one who takes a comfort from my child.” he said plainly, looking back down at the little boy who unconsciously mouthed the pacifier, eyes now closed. “Maybe this is my penance for depriving him of a the nurturing he would have received from a mother who could have nursed him, which is, after all, what it appears that he is trying to replicate the act of...”

Amelia blushed, looking ashamed.

“No, Castiel, I’m sure that’s not... that’s not it.”

“He’ll stop when he’s ready,” Sam spoke up, wiping his hands on a dishtowel before threading it through a metal ring by the sink. “That’s what the doctor said, right?”

“Right,” Dean agreed, running a hand over the Angel’s hair and dropping into the chair at his side. “He’s doin’ his own thing.”

“I know you didn’t mean harm,” Castiel told Amelia. “I understand that it is frowned upon by social convention, but... I don’t want him to be ashamed to be himself with his family.”

Amelia put a hand to her face and Jimmy smiled, patting her on the back.

“It’s just getting worse, dear,” he laughed. Castiel looked alarmed.

“I wasn’t trying to make it worse.” he insisted.

With the exception of Castiel and Amelia, everyone was laughing.

“I don’t think you have a thing to worry about, Cas,” Mary told her son-in-law, reaching over and running her hand over Danny’s hair. “Dean nursed for so long, I was worried Sam might starve when he finally came.” Sam threw back his head and gave a howl of laughter, bending out of the way when Dean aimed a punch at him. Their antics brought a smile to Mary’s face, and she turned back to Castiel. “Any every other mom I knew said he was too old. But, you know what?” Castiel was trying to suppress a smile, and he shook his head. “He stopped on his own. Sam lived.”

“That’s about to end,” Dean said, making another swipe at his brother. Sam ducked behind Jessica’s chair, holding up his hands and grinning as if he’d just reached home base in a game of tag. Dean narrowed his eyes, shaking his head slowly. “Hiding behind a pregnant woman,” he said. “Coward. I’m going to get you later.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Sam said, continuing to chuckle, moving into the living room and picking up his son. The child was snuggled on the floor with his cousin Mary, laying against the dog’s belly. “Jess and I will take the little ones next door so you two can, um,” he cleared his throat and looked to his brother, his eyebrows rising a bit before he continued. “finish unpacking.”

Dean grinned and blushed, but gave an approving nod to indicate that Sam just earned himself a reprieve. It made Sam snort back his next laugh, and he hefted his tired child further up onto his shoulder.

“It’s alright, Sam,” Castiel spoke. Dean turned to him, slightly surprised.

“It is?”

Castiel looked up at Dean, and there was something warm and content in his expression that made Dean pause.

“This will be our first night in our new home,” Castiel said, running a hand over his son’s curly hair. “I want to spend it together as a family.”

Dean smiled at him, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the Angel’s forehead.

“Sounds good,” he assured him, the four beers and two glasses of wine he consumed earlier lowering his inhibitions enough to add with a grin. “We can unpack tomorrow.”

Bobby gave a snort of amusement.

“You can always unpack with the door closed.” he suggested. “Just a thought.”

“Robert Singer,” Mary chided, pushing his arm.

The rise in laughter woke Daniel, and he frowned at the group before slipping off of Castiel’s lap. Cas watched his son walk out into the living room and assume DD’s vacated spot beside his sister, resting on the floor beside the dog.

A knock on the door preceded their daughter’s excited exclamation.

“Uncle Gabriel!” she said happily, turning to Dean and Cas. Her fathers exchanged looks of surprise, and Castiel stood to answer the door. Dean watched from the dining room as Cas stepped out onto the porch, their son and daughter scrambling to join him. Just as Dean was going to add one more to the party, Cas returned, Gabriel behind him. Dean felt his chest tighten at his husband’s pale face and unreadable expression.

“Hey,” Dean spoke, crossing the living room to where Cas stood. “What’s... what’s going on,” Castiel was breathing oddly, and Dean felt his stomach twist in concern. “Baby?”

Castiel took a breath, his voice low when he spoke.

“Dean... my father... has returned,”

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise. He looked from Cas, to Gabriel, and back to Cas. Both had looks of stunned disbelief.

“Yeah?” Dean asked, his mouth suddenly dry. “Is that a good thing?”

Castiel reached down, taking his husband’s hands.

“He wants to see me... he wants to see our children.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean blinked, his eyes once again darting from his husband, to the archangel, before coming back to Cas. For a second, he could hear nothing over the pounding of his own heart.

“What?” he asked, pulling Cas closer to him. “Your... your father?” Castiel nodded, his eyes wide. Dean could feel the Angel’s hands trembling in his own. Dean had no idea what this could mean, but it couldn’t be good. He almost lost Cas once today, he wasn’t going to risk a second. He shook his head. “No,” Dean said, his voice low but firm. “Not on my life.”

“I don’t think that you understand that this is a courtesy request,” Gabriel spoke, trying to keep his voice light as his niece and nephew were clinging to his legs. “The old man called a family meeting... I don’t think it’s optional.”

Dean swallowed, turning back to Cas.

“I can’t...” he said softly, touching the Angel’s face. He was lost for a moment in a sea of beautiful blue, buoyed by the love emanating from his husband’s eyes.

“And I can’t refuse,” Castiel replied, his voice equally quiet. “He is my father, Dean. I must do as commanded.”

Dean’s brow furrowed, and a frown settled across his mouth.

“What happened to free will, hm?” he asked. “I’m just supposed to let you walk out that door and chance you...” he pulled Cas even closer to him, his voice barely a whisper. “You not coming back?”

“Dean,” Castiel said, his expression pained. Dean closed his eyes.

“Why’re you sad, papa?” Mary asked, letting go of Gabriel’s hand to come stand at her father’s side. Dean looked down at her concerned face, the same blue eyes as Cas, so full of love. Dean forced a smile.

“I’m not sad, baby,” he assured her. “Just tired. It’s too late at night for daddy to go out.”

“He’ll be back before you know it,” Gabriel spoke. Dean turned, shocked by the sound of certainty in the angel’s voice. Gabriel was staring back at him, his face serious. “You think I’d let anything bad happen to my baby bro?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Not on my life.”

Dean chewed on this inside of his lip as he considered, looking back at his family behind him. Every face had the same stunned mask of apprehension that he was sure was on his own. He turned back to Cas.

“I will come back to you,” Castiel told him, assuredly. He looked down at the children. “I’ll be back before bedtime.”

“That’s soon,” Dean muttered, his hands balling into fists at his side. He felt a tiny hand uncurl one of his, and Mary placed her palm to Dean’s. Dean smiled. “Right baby?”

“Right,” Mary said happily, looking up at Cas. “Come back soon, daddy.”

Castiel nodded, and Dean watched with a heavy heart as the Angel kissed their babies goodbye. When the door shut behind Cas’s back, Dean turned to his family.

“I’ll be right back,” he spoke, letting Sam take Mary’s hand from him and he retreated to the far end of the house.

His and Cas’s bedroom was cold and quiet, nothing set in place and merely taking up space. Dean tried to take a deep breath, but found his ribs refused to expand. Dear god, this was one of the worst days he could remember having. As bad as rushing from a burning building with a baby clutched to his tiny chest. As bad as holding his brother’s lifeless body in his arms. And it was supposed to be a happy day. A day of new beginnings, of fresh starts, of building his and Cas’s life together. And now... now he was standing in a lifeless bedroom, in a house too big for a single father, in life too lonely without the Angel by his side.

“Dean?”

Dean turned to the doorway where his brother stood, his arms over his chest and his expression sympathetic. Dean sniffed, his chest shuddering and he gulped down a breath.

“Mom and Bobby took Mare and Danny over to my house with Jess and D...”

Dean nodded, looking down at his hands. Sam frowned.

“Dean,” he said, coming to his brother’s side. “Don’t worry, please. If something bad was going to happen, I don’t think they would have sent Gabriel.”

“Expect the worst, Sammy,” Dean advised, dryly. His jaw was tight and his throat felt as if wrapped in a steel band. Sam nodded.

“But hope for the best,” he replied. Dean rolled his eyes, and the younger Winchester took his arm. “Cas is a good man, Dean. That has to mean something upstairs.”

“He’s a fallen angel, Sam!” Dean returned, throwing a hand in the air. “And not just - he chose earth over heaven. He laid with humans. Created nephilim. You think those things won’t be punished?”

Sam took a deep breath, hurting from the fear in Dean’s eyes. He shook his head.

“I don’t see how they can be,” he stated, resolutely. “I can’t see how anyone, particularly god, can look at you and Cas, Mary and Daniel, and see anything but goodness and love. I’m going to have faith in that, Dean. I have to.”

“And what?” Dean asked, a hand raising to his chest and pressing against the manic thudding of his heart. “And if it doesn’t? What then? What do I do then?”

Sam stared evenly back at his brother. He swallowed, licking his lips and speaking evenly.

“The we got work to do.”

Dean’s eyes slid closed. The weight of those words heavy on his shoulders. If Cas was taken from him, could he pursue revenge when he had children to raise? To protect them, certainly. If Cas was going to be punished, what would that mean for two nephilim?

Rage began to simmer up within Dean’s chest, and he opened his eyes and looked at his brother’s grim face. With a nod, they made their silent pact. If anything happened to his Angel... they’d have the hunt of their lives.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was pacing the living room, alternating between drumming his hands against his thighs and clenching and unclenching his fists. Cas had been gone for over twenty minutes, but it felt like twenty years. Dean pulled his phone from his pocket, looking at the time. Twenty four minutes.

In his mind, he couldn’t stop playing the plan. Where he would take his children to protect them. Would there be protecting them from the creator of the universe?

“There’s a old underground bunker in Lebanon, Kansas...” Sam’s voice pulled Dean from his thought, and he turned to where his brother and Jimmy sat on the sofa. Sam had his government laptop open on his thighs, prepping if they had to make a quick getaway. “It looks pretty well situated... not sure what the inside might look like... seems like it might be a government secret, but oddly enough, not much in the government systems about it.” he looked up at Dean. “With some warding, might be a good place to start.”

Dean nodded and resumed pacing the floor. His stomach churned at the thought of the suitcase he had filled with tiny shirts and pants, ready to return to life on the road. He didn’t want that for his children. The very thought burned in his eyes.

“This is god you’re talking about,” Jimmy reminded them, looking from one brother to the next. “You think there is anywhere he can’t find you?”

“Monsters are monsters,” Dean replied in a clipped voice. “Everything dies.”

“But god,” Jimmy reiterated. Dean gave him a sideways glance as he made another pass of the floor.

“So what’s your suggestion?” he asked. Jimmy shrugged, his shoulders slumping.

“Pray.”

Dean gave a snort of derision. Prayer. Maybe it worked when it was Cas listening on the other end. Or Gabriel, when it was Cas who was in need. But would the lord of all listen to a human who tempted an angel out of heaven? Or any of the other number of things Dean did that was sure to keep him on a permanent ban list for any respectable church?

All three men jumped when the front door opened, and Dean rushed forward to meet Castiel.

“Cas,” Dean spoke, taking the Angel by the arms. “Are you.. okay? Are you okay?”

Castiel nodded, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Oh Dean,” he spoke, embracing the hunter with enormous intensity. “Oh Dean...”

“It’s okay, baby,” Dean assured him, stroking his hair. “Look. Look at me... what happened?”

Castiel swallowed, his lips trembling as he struggled for words.

“He... he said... no forgiveness...” Dean felt his legs go weak, and he could see Sam and Jimmy come nearer. Castiel shook his head, closing his eyes and speaking again. “No, no need for forgiveness,” he clarified, and Dean felt like he needed to simultaneously pass out and have a fifth of scotch.

“Cas, come sit,” Sam entreated, gently taking hold of his brother-in-law’s arm and leading him and Dean to the couch. “What happened.”

Castiel took a moment to control his breathing, and he looked back to Dean, holding the hunter’s hands in his own.

“I saw... saw my father,” he began, his lips threatening a smile. “I asked him if he could forgive my transgressions, and he said no need. No need to ask for forgiveness. That he was pleased.”

“Praise the lord,” Jimmy murmured, running his hands through his hair. He looked as haggard as Dean felt.

“He apologized to me, Dean,” Castiel continued, earnestly. “He told my brothers and sisters that they had strayed from the true path... that I am free...that you are the righteous man... that we are loved by him.”

Dean pulled the Angel into his arms, gripping him tightly and burying his face against the warm curve of his throat. Castiel held him, and now it was his turn to soothingly stroke the hunter’s hair.

“We will have peace now, Dean,” he spoke, an undercurrent of emotion in his deep voice. “He wants to speak with you personally,” he looked up at Sam. “You and Sam.”

“Me?” Sam asked, surprised. Dean raised his head, looking into Cas’s face.

“And you trust him?” he asked. “Trust him coming here? Trust him with our children?”

Castiel cupped the hunter’s face in his hands, his eyes unwavering as he looked into Dean’s.

“Yes.”

Dean stared back at the Angel, looking for the slightest hint of uncertainty in his face. He saw nothing but absolute honesty. Dean nodded.

“Then let’s get this over with,” he stated.

“I can’t believe god is coming to your house,” Jimmy said, covering his mouth with his hand. He considered the thought a moment more before adding. “He’s just going to... show up?”  
  
“He wants to speak with Dean,” Castiel replied. “To see Mary and Daniel.”

“I still don’t know how I feel about that...” Dean sighed, running a hand wearily though his hair. Castiel gave him a sympathetic smile, reaching over to stroke his cheek.

“You know I would never put you in danger...” he murmured.

The room was disturbed by a sound at the door, and Cas stood. Dean slowly rose from his seat, watching with a small sense of unease and dread as his husband went to answer it.

“He said he would use the human method.” the Angel explained as he crossed the room. “And a vessel... so as not to startle us.”

Castiel turned the handle of the door before pulling it open. Dean stood stunned a moment, blinking rapidly as his brain tried to comprehend the man who stepped in. The new arrival smiled, but it wasn’t the usual nervous, uneasy demeanor - he appeared calm, confident, compassionate.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean’s mouth opened and closed a moment, before he finally spoke.

“Chuck?”

“Chuck Shurley,” Castiel spoke, reverently. “Were you not a prophet?”

Sam stood rooted to the spot, his mouth open in shock. He looked from Chuck, to Dean, back to Chuck before bringing a hand to his head.

“You were here the whole time?” Dean hissed through gritted teeth.

“It’s not like you think, Dean,” Chuck explained.

Dean’s jaw clenched tightly and he pressed his lips together, every muscle in his body was tense. He heard Castiel softly speak his name, and he turned to look at the Angel. Castiel’s blue eyes were full of hope.

“Can... can he meet the children?” he asked softly.

Dean felt his heart melting under the Angel’s gaze. Dean turned back to the prophet, or rather... no, he couldn’t admit what he was, so he was just going to think of him as ‘Cas’s dad’.

“Yeah,” Dean said softly, stepping back and motioning Chuck into the room.

“Thank you, Dean,” Chuck said to him. “I can’t wait to see them. After we talk, of course.”

Dean gave a nod, his jaw still tight. Chuck greeted Jimmy and Sam, and Jimmy quickly excused himself from the house. There was a tense moment of silence as the four men stood in the middle of the large living room.

“So what the hell?” Dean asked, and he could hear his brother speak his name in warning. “You say you weren’t around this whole time?”

Chuck shook his head.

“This is just a vessel,” he explained, indicating the body he wore. “Chuck Shurley has, indeed, always been your friend.”

“So we’ve never met until now?” Dean asked, his stern expression not relaxing. Chuck stared at him a moment, and surprisingly it was the deity who looked away.

“We have,” he admitted. Dean swore, pressing his lips together and closing his eyes. When he opened them, Chuck was watching him once again. “But only twice, Dean,” he assured him.

“When,” Dean asked, tersely.

“One, was the day you married Castiel,” Chuck told him.

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise, and he looked to Sam who seemed equally taken aback.

“What?” Dean asked. Chuck shrugged, holding out his hands.

“Do you really think I wanted to miss my son’s wedding day?” he asked. “I’ll admit, I’m not the father I should have been. But, I still love my son, Dean.” he sighed. “Which is why I’m here now.” he clasped his hands in front of himself, looking from one brother to the other. “I knew what my children were planning for you, for Castiel, and I knew it was time to intervene. You’ve faced too much loss in your young life because of my creation. I couldn’t let Raphael and Naomi continue down the path they were on.”

Dean blinked, his eyes immediately darting to the man’s arm where a gunshot graze was probably magically wiped clean. If Chuck was saying what Dean thought, he really would have lost Cas today. The very idea made his eyes burn with fury.

“You two must be very angry with me,” Chuck spoke, turning to look between both boys. Neither Sam nor Dean replied, but stared evenly back. Chuck sat down on the sofa, folding his hand in his lap. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were. It was my responsibility to look after my children, but I thought I left them with enough instruction, and in responsible hands. In the grand scheme of the universe, I was only gone for a few moments.”

Sam watched Dean, looking to him for a cue. He wasn’t sure how he felt. Dean sighed.

“You’re lucky we weren’t having this conversation ten years ago,” he told the deity, crossing his arms over his chest. “But, I think you’ve probably realized that I’m not exactly angry about that any more.”

Chuck smiled, giving a small nod.

“That fact brings me a lot of joy, Dean. I’m glad that you were able to heal. Castiel is a good boy,” he said, turning to look at the the blue eyed Angel, who was looking upon Dean with such love. “I should have made more like him.”

“You can’t make another like him,” Dean replied.

Castiel looked to Dean with gratitude and affection. Dean blushed and looked down at his feet, pushing his hands into his pockets.

“That’s certainly true,” Chuck told his son, a small smile on his face at the men’s interaction. He took a deep breath, sighing. “So I guess my last order of business is just to apologize to you boys. I’m not sure there is really anything more to say than that.” Sam, Dean, and Cas all turned to him as he continued. “I have no excuse for leaving creation under the archangel’s watch. I could have made it up to you,” he admitted, looking to Dean. “I could have fixed it all. I tried to fix a few things... but this one is your call.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked. Chuck looked at him, squarely.

“If I could guarantee you’d still meet Castiel,” he began, his voice firm. “that you would still fall in love and get married. If I guaranteed Mary and Daniel would find their way into your life... would you want me to change anything? Fix what Azazel did? Let you two grow up with your parents?”

Dean looked, shocked, from Cas to Sam, and finally back to Chuck. His jaw was tight, and he shook his head.

“I hate to say it, all things considered, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing.” he looked to Cas, extending his hand and taking the Angel’s. “But you know that...” he said, turning back to Chuck. “I’ve told you every morning and every night for the last 4 years.”

Sam bit his lip at the look of such overwhelming emotion on Castiel’s face upon hearing Dean’s words, and emotion was tense in his own chest. No, Sam wouldn’t change a thing either. They worked so hard to earn this life, they knew to appreciate it.

Chuck sighed, pushing himself back to his feet. He turned then to Sam, smiling up at the young hunter.

“Is there anything I can do to make up for what my children put you through?”

Sam shook his head.

“Just tell me my son will be born healthy,” he told shorter man. “Like Dean, I don’t need anything else. I couldn’t be happier.”

Chuck shook his head, pushing his hands down into his pockets.

“I don’t deserve your understanding and compassion,” he said. “But, I _can_ guarantee your son will be born healthy.”

Sam nodded and blinked away the tears building in his eyes, excusing himself from the room. Dean watched his brother disappear into the kitchen, and he turned back to his husband’s father.

“I have one more thing,” Dean said suddenly, earning looks of interest from both Chuck and Castiel. Dean tightened his grip on the Angel’s hand. “Tell me why Cas doesn’t have a soul.” the words came out like a demand, and harsher than Dean expected. To his surprise, Chuck smiled.

“Castiel has more soul than any other angel in creation,” he told Dean while looking upon Castiel with affection. “And when he has lived as much of this life as he can, he’ll return home. Like you will as well, Dean.”

Castiel turned to his husband, and the relief and joy in his eyes was reflected in Dean’s. Forgetting that the creator of the universe was standing in his living room, Dean pulled Castiel into his arms and hugged him fiercely. Chuck cleared his throat.

“I know that these last few years,” he spoke, once Dean and Cas returned their attention to him. “while happy, have not been easy on you. I’m not ignorant of the fears you felt for your life and your children. I guarantee you won’t be bothered by Castiel’s siblings any more. Your children are precious to me. You are all precious to me. I want you to feel at peace.”

“Thank you,” Dean said. “Honestly. Thank you.”

Chuck smiled.

“Well, it’s getting late,” he observed. Dean looked to his phone, surprised to see time had not actually advanced. “If it’s still alright, I’d... I’d like to see the children before I go?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.” Dean replied. “We’ll, uh, be right back...”

Dean gave a jerk of his head to Sam, and his brother followed him from the house. The brothers were silent as they crossed the lawn to the house next door, and they stopped on the porch. They looked at each other a moment as they stood in the dark, the moonlight and streetlamps bright enough to see the many layers of thought and emotions in each other’s eyes. Without needing to say a word, the brothers embraced each other before going inside to gather the kids.

Chuck and Castiel were only alone for a few moments before Dean returned. Castiel met them at the door, and he took his son and daughter’s hand and led them over to where Chuck stood.

“Father,” he said proudly. “This is Mary Samantha, and Daniel James. Children,” he said, looking down into their tiny, upturned faces. “This is your grandfather.”

Chuck kneeled in front of them, smiling at their cherubic faces. He reached out, running a hand over Mary’s blonde curls.

“Hello Mary. Hello Daniel.”

“Hi grandpa,” Mary said happily, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. Castiel smiled broadly. Mary pulled away, looking into Chuck’s eyes as she asked. “How are you a grandpa?”

“This is daddy’s daddy,” Castiel explained proudly. Mary turned up to him with a frown.

“I thought grandpa Matthew was your daddy?” she asked.

“Matthew Novak is my surrogate father. Like papa Jiji.” Castiel explained patiently. Mary nodded.

“Oh,” she turned back to Chuck. “Okay.”

Chuck smiled, turning to Daniel.

“How are you Daniel?” he asked. Daniel leaned close to Castiel’s leg, lifting his eyes to look at his parents. Castiel smiled at him, and Dean forced himself to smile as well. Daniel slowly pulled the pacifier from his mouth before speaking.

“You’re a small daddy.” he observed. Castiel gasped in shock, but Dean laughed heartily. Chuck smiled, rising. He reached down and ruffled Daniel’s dark, wavy hair.

“It looks that way, hm?” he asked, amused. He turned then to his son and Dean. “Thank you so much for allowing me into your home tonight,” he spoke to them. “I just want you to know that I’ve taken care of some of the... concerns in Heaven. I don’t plan on leaving the kids at home alone for a long, long time.”

“Good call,” Dean commented. Chuck shrugged.

“Of course, I may not be able to keep Gabriel and Balthazar from sneaking out, but... no one is perfect...”

Castiel shook his head, speaking in earnest.

“You are perfect, father,” he insisted. Chuck gave a small, wistful smile, reaching out and touching Castiel’s hair before patting his head like a child.

“You’re a good son, Castiel,” he replied. “You deserve this happiness.”

Chuck said goodnight to them, and Dean watched Castiel hug him like the parent he was. Chuck didn’t bother using the door this time, disappearing in a soft burst of light instead of the expected rush of wings.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean sighed, pulling Cas into an embrace. The Angel hugged him tightly, pressing his face down into the curve of Dean’s throat. Dean had a odd feeling, after all these years, that maybe... maybe it really was finally over. All of the looking behind him. All the wondering when things would go south. He and Castiel would actually get to grow old together, see their children grow up, have a normal family life. And when the time came for this life to come to an end, they would be reunited to experience the next life together as well.

“I’m sleepy!” Danny grumbled, as if it were a request. Dean and Castiel looked down at the child, both laughing at his troubled expression.

“I’m sorry, beloved,” Castiel spoke, picking the baby up into his arms. “I know it’s late.”

“Go with daddy, Mares,” Dean instructed. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

Dean watched his husband and children disappear down the hall, and released a heavy breath as he turned to lock the front door. The day felt surreal, and his body was desperately trying to catch up from how many lows and highs he cycled through in the last twenty four hours. He was exhausted, and he wanted nothing more than to lay down with his husband and let gratitude replace the weariness in his bones. This was it now, his life. This house, with the man he loved and his precious children.

After making sure everything was locked and the kitchen in order, Dean joined the others in the back of the house. Dean yawned and stretched, leaning against the doorframe as he watched Cas pull little pants and shirts on his babies and help them brush their teeth. He was smiling broadly.

“Kiss papa goodnight,” Cas instructed, and the children rushed to their father, pulling Dean down for kisses and hugs. Dean picked them up together, one in each arm, and carried them out into the hall.

“I wan seep wif you...” Danny said quietly, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder. Mary nodded vigorously.

“I want to sleep with you and daddy.”

Dean sighed, smiling at his husband.

“Can’t be helped,” he announced, carrying the children to his and Cas’s room. Castiel followed and they all stopped in the doorway, looking in at the bare room. Cas sighed.

“We can set everything up tomorrow. I’ll just put some sheets on the bed.”

Dean frowned, slowly lowering the children to the floor.

“No, let’s just go ahead and set it up now.” he said, not wanting to spend their first night in a cold room. “We can do it really quickly together.”

Mary and Daniel stood by the door, watching their father’s assemble the frame and lift the box spring and mattress into place. While Castiel put the sheets on the bed, Dean hung the curtains and closed the blinds to block out any sun that would wake them before they are ready. He had a feeling they would be sleeping in after a day like this. Castiel lifted each of the babies in to bed, and then he and Dean spread the top sheet over them.

“We’ll be right back,” Cas assured them. “Papa and daddy are going to go get our pajamas on.”

“Okay,” Mary and Daniel spoke together, and Dean handed Cas a t-shirt as they crossed to the bathroom. They dressed and washed up in silence, but Dean stopped the Angel before he could leave the bathroom.

“Hey,” he said, pulling Cas away from the door and out of the eye-line of their kids. “Kiss me good night,” he entreated, sliding his hands down the sides of Castiel’s hips.

Cas smiled, lazily wrapping his arms around his husband’s neck and kissing him deeply. Dean leaned in to the kiss, instinctively rolling his hips and pulling Cas closer. The Angel pulled away, licking his lips and wiping a bit of moisture from the corner of Dean’s mouth.

“Not tonight,” he said sympathetically. “As much as I want to... would love to...”

“I know,” Dean told him. He leaned forward and gave him one final kiss on the lips, simple and chaste. “I just... I really love you, you know.”

Castiel smiled, narrowing his eyes slightly as he said.

“I know.”

He kissed Dean again before moving away, returning to the bedroom and slipping into bed beside his children. Dean snapped off the overhead light, leaving the bathroom light on and the door slightly ajar to give a bit of visibility in case one of the children woke in the night. He joined them in bed, snuggling with them but letting his arm drape across the top of the bed so he could run his fingers through Castiel’s hair.

“Good night, babies,” Dean murmured, his eyes watching his little children as they cuddled in to sleep. “Dream about all of the fun things were going to do in Disney world.”  
  
Mary made a little sound of thrill that made the hunter chuckle, and he leaned over to kiss her forehead. They were quiet for a long stretch of time, and soon both children were breathing deep and even. Dean too was falling slowly into sleep when Cas’s voice spoke quietly in the darkness, bringing a smile to the hunter’s lips. There was something in the Angel’s voice that was more meaningful, more filled with emotion and intention, but Dean didn’t need to question it, he felt it too. There was something different about tonight - maybe it was the new house, maybe it was the new phase of their life, certainly it was their guarantee of peace, but Dean couldn’t help echoing the sentiment as Castiel’s prayer came to a close.

“Amen”

~~~~~~~~~~

 

...The end.

And, the beginning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who lasted all the way though, you are quite the troopers! Thank you so much to everyone who left kudos and to those who took the time to comment. I really hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. As you know, I wrote it for me and simply for fun.
> 
> So, you should know, in the original, I really did kill Cas off. And after 30 or so chapters of posting, I realized I couldn't spring that on you all, so I changed the end. I like the way it turned out though. Of course, the original didn't end sadly, it had a happy ending (can't leave Cas gone for good!). I may post the alternate ending sometime later. 
> 
> I do have more of this universe. So, if you are interested in seeing Mary start school, Dean trying to get a promotion, Danny whine about how he doesn't eat that, and whether or not Cas has another baby, please let me know and I will post it if you want it. I may take a rest first lol. If you want to read my newest fic, please check out Naked Truth, my destiel college AU. I love you all for your patience and your kindness. None of this was beta'd, so I particularly thank you for your understanding. Thank you again! -pita


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